00:00I want people to respect me. I want money. I want to win.
00:05It's really about the algorithm. Making the algorithm my bitch.
00:09I mean, literally everyone I hate has been able to do that, so how hard can it be?
00:14You know, people are dumb. People just want to be spoon-fed crap.
00:19You're replacing me with the kid? Our numbers are plummeting, and he's viral.
00:23Why don't I do this? I'll book you a little theater, and we can film a new special.
00:27I'm not going back on the road for stand-up.
00:30Okay, stand-up is a Ponzi scheme to move chicken tenders.
00:34I remember you now. I thought you'd die.
00:37That's crazy.
00:38Me and my girlfriend were positive you were dead.
00:40Kind of realizing that I'm not perfect. I mean, to you guys, I seem, you know, perfect.
00:49I've been driving a white van across this country, filled with 9,000 t-shirts that nobody will buy.
00:56One piece of advice is to fuck this kid. It feels like you kind of want to fuck that kid.
01:01I'm saying, like, fuck this kid.
01:03It's a vibes thing.
01:04I don't know. I'm thinking back on the show last night. I'm like, it was brutal.
01:08I did have an idea.
01:10Some new material.
01:12Nope.
01:14Let me go on.
01:17I used to think that it was fun. I don't find it fun anymore. I want to win. That's what
01:23we all want, you know?
01:24We all want people to feel bad for raw. I just want people to feel bad for doubting me or
01:30wronging me.
01:35It's a Ponzi scheme. Why don't you tell that to Matt Reifey?
01:38Stop talking about Matt Reife.
01:40He's a good standard comedian.
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