00:00My name is Matt Foley.
00:02Yo, yo, soy Trace Divorciado.
00:09That's funny.
00:11Well, get over it.
00:13Sweet mother of God, what is the holdup?
00:23Muchachos, yo comprendo que ustedes beben tequila.
00:29Woo!
00:30Full man marijuana.
00:33Y bailan al flamenco.
00:38I told you, David.
00:39Didn't make any sense, but you were like...
00:42Yeah, well, you're like...
00:43No, you're like...
00:45David and Chris, ladies and gentlemen.
00:47David and Chris.
00:53For the love of all things holy,
00:57let the boy rub the dog's belly.
01:00He said he likes to do it.
01:02And you know damn well the dog likes it, too.
01:08Just let it happen.
01:10That's all we want, dear.
01:12Just let it happen.
01:17Please.
01:19Oh, hey, Derek.
01:20Back from the gym just in time.
01:21Look who's here.
01:22It's Canteen Boy.
01:23You guys used to be real tight.
01:25Hey, Canteen Boy.
01:26Does this bring back any memories?
01:30Richie!
01:32Richie!
01:36Tonight my host is Jeff Daniels,
01:38one of the greatest actors around, I guess.
01:45God, I hate doing this part, man.
01:47I never know what to say.
01:48No, no, you're doing fine, Chris.
01:49You're doing good.
01:50Really?
01:51Yeah.
01:52No, I'm not.
01:53Anyway...
01:56Thank you, Chris.
01:57I've really learned some lessons tonight.
01:59You know what I've learned?
02:01I've learned lessons about responsi...
02:03Responsibility.
02:05Being responsible, not only to myself,
02:08but to the people around me.
02:09That means you guys.
02:11I think it's time to quit goofing around.
02:13I think it's time to grow up, fellas.
02:15I want you to know that everything's gonna be okay.
02:17All right, man.
02:18Anyway, I got a package here for Dante.
02:20I am Dante!
02:22All right, here you go.
02:24Sign on the X.
02:26There.
02:27I'll sign your precious Federal Express receipt.
02:31And now I wish you could do me a favor
02:34and buzz off.
02:36Oh, man.
02:37There you go.
02:41Irish number one!
02:44Irish number one!
02:47Get the hell out of here, you dead pig!
02:51That's really something.
02:53So do you let me...
02:55Oh, my God!
02:57Damn it!
02:59That fish really got me!
03:02Son of a bitch!
03:04Oh, my God.
03:06Let me begin with an obvious question.
03:09Who threw the eggs?
03:13I don't know, but I can tell you
03:16what you had for lunch.
03:17A chili dog.
03:20Really, I-I don't know.
03:22I don't know.
03:25Well, that and a nickel get your hot cup
03:28a jack squat!
03:34Oh!
03:35Hey, now.
03:43Whoa, whoa.
03:44Um...
03:46While you take your, uh, coffee break
03:47and we continue pedaling
03:49I'm paying for this class, okay?
03:51Pfft!
03:52Shut your pie hole, missy!
03:57All right.
03:58Look, Matt.
03:59Look, Matt.
04:00Take it easy.
04:01Look, this is not gonna work out.
04:03I'm gonna have to ask you
04:04to take-get out of here.
04:05Can we stop this cruel game
04:09and allow the boy
04:11to keep one shred of dignity?
04:14For God's sakes!
04:16I can't stand to see him
04:19You vicious bastards!
04:23Let him move in with you!
04:25Is it so bad to see somebody happy?
04:28So just let him move in!
04:30For the love of God!
04:33Let the boy move in with you!
04:39Why, yes!
04:43On the brace.
04:45Say when.
04:46All right, all right.
04:47One.
04:49Two.
04:50Wait a second.
04:53Here you go.
04:55Three.
04:57Why, thank you, pepper boy!
05:00That's the perfect amount of pepper!
05:04Bravo!
05:06Oh, grazie.
05:08Oh, you did it, Carlo!
05:10You did it!
05:11Yeah, Misty.
05:13You're so dumb.
05:15When they were passing out brains,
05:17you thought they said trains.
05:19Then you got on it,
05:21and on a train,
05:23and then went for a ride.
05:29And on that highly successful burn,
05:32I'm going into the polar bear cage
05:34and get myself some wallets
05:36so I can get some beer money.
05:37Adios.
05:40I'm flying!
05:42I'm flying!
05:43I'm flying!
05:45Holy schnikes!
05:48Look at Devin!
05:49You're almost flying!
05:50But I'm doing something!
05:51Please!
05:52You're almost flying!
05:53I have a weight problem.
05:54Can't they lift me?
05:56You're almost flying, buddy.
05:58There you go.
05:59This is life!
06:00Come on, Devin!
06:03Hey!
06:06The city steakhouse serves the best beef in town.
06:10Their sensual setting will set the mood
06:13for any romantic rendezvous.
06:16Oh, hear that, hey?
06:20I love you.
06:30Give me cancer now, guys!
06:33Oh-ho!
06:34Hoagies and grinders,
06:36Hoagies and grinders,
06:37Navy beans, navy beans,
06:40Navy beans, navy beans,
06:42Hoagies and grinders,
06:43Hoagies and grinders,
06:45Navy beans, navy beans,
06:47Navy means, Navy means meatloaf sandwich.
06:51Sloppy Joe, it's time for Sloppy Joe, yeah.
06:55Sloppy Joe, it's time for Sloppy Joe, yeah.
06:58Sloppy Joe, it's time for Sloppy Joe, yeah.
07:02Sloppy Joe, it's time for Sloppy Joe, yeah.
07:07You're pretty funny.
07:09Let me rephrase that.
07:11That's funny, and you're purdy.
07:17Now, hang on to your sense of humor, young fella.
07:21You're going to need it in here,
07:23because they can't take that away from you.
07:25Believe me, I know.
07:27I had it all.
07:29Van, river, the whole kitten caboodle.
07:34Now I wonder, Brian, from what I've heard,
07:39you're using your paper not for writing,
07:42but for rolling doobies.
07:45You're going to be doing a lot of doobie rolling
07:48when you're living in a van down by the river.
08:15¶¶
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