00:00My uncle was a shaman
00:03When I was a kid, he would say
00:05Evil is always waiting in the shadows
00:10And only one man would rise to stand against it
00:22Yeah, looking good, looking sweet
00:34What the hell?
00:41Pablo, I'm gonna tell you something I've never told anyone
00:44Thirty years ago, my friends and I spent the night at a cabin
00:48We found the Necronomicon Ex Mortis
00:51The Book of the Dead
00:54Certain passages were recited
00:58It awoke something in the woods
01:02Something evil
01:12I was the only one to escape
01:14But now, the evil has found me
01:25First thing I gotta do is see a guy about a book
01:27There must be some spell I can say to undo all this
01:30The other first thing I gotta do is some cardio
01:32Because my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night
01:38Here's the plan
01:40You bust in there
01:41Fight through the carnage
01:43Let the boomstick do the talking
01:45Things get hairy, use your bottle
01:49Um
01:50I don't think it's a very good weapon
01:52If he had to stab like 50 times
02:00I was sharpening it for you
02:01Now, come on
02:01You ready?
02:02I'm ready
02:11Let's tango, bitch
02:17Fuck
02:23Who the hell are you?
02:24I'm your new best friend
02:35Yo, granny
02:38Let's go
02:44I'm not a grief counselor
02:45But if it's any consolation
02:46You're kind of like a young me
02:47Dead ice ruined your life
02:48And you're hot as hell
02:50You know they were Jewish, right?
02:54I did not
02:56Wish you could have said something
02:58Before I made those dumb crosses
02:59But
03:01Okay
03:18Groovy
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