2.Kazumi & The Filipino Hater Factory  TigerBelly 453 - video Dailymotion

Empire Gaming Brothers

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Transcript

00:00:26Have your poos ever brewed?

00:00:28No.

00:00:29Oh, so you just, it goes straight to the floor?

00:00:34No, I mean, you eat it and it, once you eat food, it just comes right out, right away?

00:00:39Not for me.

00:00:40So it brews in your stomach, no?

00:00:42Yeah.

00:00:43You just said you don't brew your poos.

00:00:45You know what I heard?

00:00:46I heard prunes, like the prunes, is that what it is?

00:00:50Oh, so I thought you said prunes.

00:00:52Yeah, I have a pruning.

00:00:55Yeah, prunes doesn't make you.

00:00:57I learn something new every day, dude.

00:00:59I learn something new every day.

00:01:01Thank you so much for that.

00:01:03You're a science guy.

00:01:04I didn't know that.

00:01:05Tell me more about science.

00:01:07What's something that, in the papers that you've read this year, tell me some of the things you've

00:01:12discovered.

00:01:14They found worms and chipotle.

00:01:18Whoa, tell us more, my friend.

00:01:20I feel like that's old news.

00:01:20That's old news.

00:01:21I knew that, but anyway.

00:01:22They always have recalls of chipotle.

00:01:24I don't eat chipotle no more, so.

00:01:26Because of the worms?

00:01:27Because of the worms.

00:01:28I love chipotle.

00:01:29Worms or not, I don't care.

00:01:30Worms are good there.

00:01:32They're deep fried.

00:01:34I don't know.

00:01:35You're so cute.

00:01:36Thanks, buddy.

00:01:36I just want to headbutt your face.

00:01:38Headbutt?

00:01:39In a gentle way, though.

00:01:40I had a show in Bakersfield, and I was sending merch for Ralph, and this guy came up to me.

00:01:48He's like, hey, you're Jaime from Tiger Belly.

00:01:50I was like, yeah, what's up, man?

00:01:52He's like, yeah, you need to stop doing comedy.

00:01:55What?

00:01:56Honest.

00:01:58Truthful, but.

00:02:00Jaime, you can't listen to that stuff.

00:02:03Dude, there's so many people that hate me.

00:02:05They hate me.

00:02:07They don't want me.

00:02:08They want me to be dead.

00:02:09But he said that to your face.

00:02:10And your face is crazy.

00:02:11On the merch table.

00:02:12And then what?

00:02:13Do you just laugh or no?

00:02:14I was like, I looked everywhere.

00:02:15I was like, who's this guy?

00:02:16And he just walks away.

00:02:18I would have confronted him.

00:02:20What would you say?

00:02:21Someone goes, hey, man, you should quit comedy.

00:02:23Yeah?

00:02:23Thanks for watching.

00:02:24You should quit your job at Chipotle.

00:02:28Pretty good, huh?

00:02:28Pretty good.

00:02:29Pretty fast, dude.

00:02:30I don't work at Chipotle.

00:02:31Yeah?

00:02:31Well, you're skyrocket to the sun, man.

00:02:33Thanks.

00:02:33I'll put you on a rocket ship, dude.

00:02:35Thanks.

00:02:36Yeah?

00:02:36You want to go on a rocket ship to the sun?

00:02:38I'll work for you.

00:02:38Yeah, no.

00:02:39That's not what I'm saying.

00:02:40They'll burn alive.

00:02:41Who are three people you would skyrocket to the sun today?

00:02:45Oh, me?

00:02:46Oh, God.

00:02:47There's so many.

00:02:48We can bleep them all out.

00:02:49Yeah, I have some TikTokers.

00:02:50I want to skyrocket to the sun.

00:02:53Preacher?

00:02:54Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:56Skyrocket to the sun, huh?

00:02:58No one in showbiz, though.

00:03:00No one in my, you know, it's just people from afar.

00:03:03That's changed, because when I...

00:03:04Yeah, it's different for you, huh?

00:03:05Years ago, early Tiger Belly, your list was only showbiz.

00:03:09No, I love everyone.

00:03:11Oh, because you're in the club now, huh?

00:03:12Well, the fruit's been blossoming, and I've been eating from the fruit tree.

00:03:15Fruits don't blossom.

00:03:16Flowers do.

00:03:17My fruits do.

00:03:20That's your problem.

00:03:21I believed you for a second.

00:03:22Wait.

00:03:22Wait a second.

00:03:24Do you know what I...

00:03:24You Koreans are crafty, man.

00:03:27Crafty, craft work.

00:03:28I just watched this documentary series called Dancing for the Devil.

00:03:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:32And that guy, Robert Shin...

00:03:34He's the best.

00:03:35He is a diabolical Korean.

00:03:38Diabolical fool.

00:03:40To get TikTokers to believe in Jesus, and also let me manage you, and also come to my

00:03:47church, and also don't talk to your family, that's fucking Korean fucking diabolical mental

00:03:51fucking games, my friend.

00:03:53Do you think you'd be able to do that?

00:03:54I can do it.

00:03:54I did it with this group.

00:03:56What are you talking about?

00:03:57You really did.

00:03:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:58Look at this group I have.

00:04:00What are we doing here?

00:04:00What are you guys doing here, dude?

00:04:02Can I just say, this is a...

00:04:04We are in Stockholm Syndrome.

00:04:06Yeah.

00:04:07We'll never leave you, Matthew.

00:04:08You're never going to leave.

00:04:09We're going to leave you, Master.

00:04:10I mean, you guys come over, and EJ comes over, hangs my paintings, and then check out this

00:04:15guy, EJ.

00:04:16Can we talk about this EJ guy character?

00:04:18Harry Potter.

00:04:18Harry Potter, this guy.

00:04:19Potter.

00:04:21Comes over, right?

00:04:22Hangs some paintings up.

00:04:24He demands $100.

00:04:26Oh!

00:04:27Wait, wait, wait.

00:04:27Wait, wait.

00:04:27Stop, stop.

00:04:28This is my podcast.

00:04:29You don't have to get to talk, okay?

00:04:30Alex, am I back?

00:04:31You got my back, dude?

00:04:32Yeah, dude.

00:04:33Yeah, dude.

00:04:33Exactly.

00:04:34So he's like, you know, I don't come over if it's not money.

00:04:37I go, well, okay, that's weird.

00:04:38I'll give you $100 to hang a cartoon painting.

00:04:41Which is basically less than a TaskRabbit.

00:04:43Exactly.

00:04:44Exactly.

00:04:45And then, you know, I've been meaning to pay him, and every day it's like, hey, man, the

00:04:51$100.

00:04:51And I'm like, dude, you're really strapped for cash, huh?

00:04:56So anyway, he's a suspect guy, though, dude.

00:04:59You know what I mean?

00:04:59What?

00:05:00What are you going to do?

00:05:01You sad?

00:05:02I don't even play.

00:05:03I know.

00:05:06It sucks, doesn't it, EJ?

00:05:07It sucks, doesn't it?

00:05:08Yeah, look at how mad he is.

00:05:10I'll tell you about EJ, though.

00:05:11He's a very good guy.

00:05:12If you ever want to audition, he's a good cameraman, also a good reader.

00:05:16And he gives good notes.

00:05:17He really does.

00:05:18You don't do a good job.

00:05:20How many times have I used you, George?

00:05:22Early on, right?

00:05:22I also don't move the table and ruin lighting for a whole episode, so.

00:05:26Whoa, he did that?

00:05:28Yeah.

00:05:29EJ.

00:05:30We got the tables in the wrong place.

00:05:32I walk in here, it's all cattywampus.

00:05:35What?

00:05:35Cattywampus?

00:05:36What's cattywampus?

00:05:36Yeah.

00:05:37What's cattywampus?

00:05:38It's when it's like a skew.

00:05:40You heard of that before, Bobby?

00:05:41Yeah, of course.

00:05:41My whole life is cattywampal.

00:05:44Yeah, dude.

00:05:45I was born cattywampal.

00:05:49So, yeah, don't be doing that shit around this town.

00:05:52My point is, I've never heard of it, but my point is that EJ, watch your back, you know?

00:05:57But anyway, that documentary was pretty good, but let's talk about Civil War.

00:06:02Ooh.

00:06:02You see it?

00:06:03I haven't seen it.

00:06:03Have you seen it?

00:06:04I haven't.

00:06:05Anybody see it?

00:06:05I've seen it.

00:06:06You've seen it?

00:06:06Yeah.

00:06:07What do you think?

00:06:07What are your thoughts?

00:06:09Sure.

00:06:09We're not talking about Marvel, correct?

00:06:12Yeah.

00:06:13Not Robert Downey Jr. verse?

00:06:15No, it's Captain America, Civil War.

00:06:18Let's go then.

00:06:19I love that.

00:06:19Tell me about that.

00:06:21Jesse Plemons is the best.

00:06:23Oh, he's so great.

00:06:24The scene where he's like, what kind of American are you?

00:06:28What?

00:06:28I said it right?

00:06:29That was good.

00:06:30Wow, Bobby.

00:06:32Say it one more time.

00:06:33What kind of American are you?

00:06:35Ooh, goosebumps.

00:06:36Chicken skin.

00:06:37Yeah, I'm going to say, you know what I would say?

00:06:39No.

00:06:40MAGA, dude.

00:06:41Just say that.

00:06:44What if you're that guy and you have an accent, though?

00:06:47MAGA.

00:06:48Oh, yeah.

00:06:48First of all, that dude?

00:06:49The accent.

00:06:50The Asian guy.

00:06:51Yes, you had an accent.

00:06:52He said Hong Kong.

00:06:53Yeah.

00:06:54Fuck you.

00:06:55Say fucking Cleveland.

00:06:57Yeah.

00:06:57Anything.

00:06:58Give me some context.

00:07:00All right.

00:07:01Cleveland.

00:07:02Cleveland.

00:07:03Cleveland.

00:07:04All right.

00:07:04You American.

00:07:05You American.

00:07:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:08Michigan.

00:07:10So, here's...

00:07:11That's the context?

00:07:13Yeah.

00:07:13Michigan.

00:07:14Michigan.

00:07:15So, here's the context of it.

00:07:18The lady from Suicide...

00:07:21What's that movie called?

00:07:23Suicide Squad?

00:07:24Not Suicide Squad.

00:07:25The one that...

00:07:27Fuck, man.

00:07:28Don't help me.

00:07:29Let me try to get this.

00:07:30Virgin Suicide.

00:07:30Virgin...

00:07:31Do!

00:07:32With Sofia Coppola's movie?

00:07:33Yeah, do, do, do!

00:07:34Who's the girl in that?

00:07:35Kirsten Dunst?

00:07:36She's not in it?

00:07:37She isn't.

00:07:37That's right.

00:07:38Oh, my God.

00:07:38I read your line.

00:07:39Do.

00:07:40Do.

00:07:40Dude.

00:07:41Dude.

00:07:42Dude.

00:07:42One.

00:07:43We're one.

00:07:44We're one.

00:07:44Jessie Plymouth, ain't she?

00:07:45Yeah, they're married.

00:07:47Dude!

00:07:49Anyway.

00:07:50She's a great architectural digest.

00:07:52So, she plays a journalist.

00:07:53And this whole movie is...

00:07:54What?

00:07:55This whole movie is in the perspective of journalists,

00:07:57because they don't have a side, necessarily, right?

00:08:01And so, they're just documenting the Civil War.

00:08:04All right.

00:08:04You're saying, yeah, if they're from MSNBC,

00:08:07yeah, they would have probably a side.

00:08:09Fox.

00:08:09And Fox, yes, right?

00:08:10But we don't know.

00:08:11I think they're more independent journalists, right?

00:08:13Sure, yeah.

00:08:13AP or whatever.

00:08:14Okay, so...

00:08:15Are we good?

00:08:16We're not good on the context.

00:08:18I understood my thing.

00:08:19Okay, let me...

00:08:20All right.

00:08:20Mishigunu.

00:08:21Mishigunu.

00:08:21So, anyway, these journalists are going to go to DC for...

00:08:25I forgot what the event was, but...

00:08:27And they have to go through this war, the Civil War,

00:08:29that's between, obviously, liberals and conservatives.

00:08:33Uh-huh.

00:08:33And the president is in his third term.

00:08:36So, they allude he's more like kind of a Trump kind of guy.

00:08:40A third term?

00:08:41Yeah.

00:08:41Third term.

00:08:42But I don't know if they...

00:08:42This is why the director is good,

00:08:44because they made the president from New York, a blue state.

00:08:48Yeah, Trump is from New York.

00:08:49Yeah, but then they also made California and Texas allies.

00:08:54Yeah, Austin, dude.

00:08:55Liberal.

00:08:56Just Austin?

00:08:57Dallas, Houston.

00:08:58Right.

00:08:58Go to any...

00:08:59Right?

00:08:59Am I right?

00:08:59Anaheim?

00:09:00Austin, Dallas.

00:09:01Houston.

00:09:02Pretty liberal, right?

00:09:03You've heard of them?

00:09:04Yeah, I've heard of them.

00:09:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:09:05Name more cities in January.

00:09:06Yeah, give me some more.

00:09:07You know what you call them?

00:09:08You know what you call them?

00:09:09What?

00:09:10Anaheim.

00:09:12Right, Anaheim?

00:09:13Anaheim.

00:09:14Anaheim.

00:09:14Right?

00:09:15Yep.

00:09:16Right.

00:09:17So, let's go.

00:09:18Can we go back?

00:09:18Yeah.

00:09:20So, now these journalists get stopped.

00:09:22There's like...

00:09:23You know that old fat black man that's always in every movie?

00:09:26What's his name?

00:09:26He's so good.

00:09:28Wait, let me read your mind.

00:09:29He's trying to read my mind, dude.

00:09:31Old fat man, black man.

00:09:33Old...

00:09:33Think about it.

00:09:33In every movie.

00:09:34Oh my God, yeah.

00:09:35You know that guy?

00:09:36I don't know his name.

00:09:36He's in everything though, that guy.

00:09:37He's so good.

00:09:40Anyway, him, Suicide Squad girl.

00:09:45There's a young girl that's a journalist too,

00:09:47like a wannabe journalist.

00:09:48And then there's a guy that looks like the guy from...

00:09:52A skinnier version of the guy from that zombie thing on HBO.

00:09:55What's it called?

00:09:55Last of Us?

00:09:56You think?

00:09:57Oh, Wagner.

00:09:57Oh, Pedro Pascal?

00:09:58There's a skinny version, right?

00:09:59He's the guy who plays Narco.

00:10:01Oh, yeah.

00:10:01Skinnier version of him.

00:10:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:10:03Wagner, yeah.

00:10:04Pascal Light.

00:10:05Let's call him that.

00:10:05Yeah.

00:10:06Okay.

00:10:06Pascal Light.

00:10:07Yeah, Pascal Light's in it, right?

00:10:09And so they get stopped by, you know, a couple of guys in fatigues.

00:10:14Obviously, they're probably right wing.

00:10:16Yeah.

00:10:16And they ask, you know, like, and they're going to kill the little girl and another journalist.

00:10:20And then, you know, Kristen Dunst comes up and goes, wait, we're journalists.

00:10:24He's like, and we're American.

00:10:25He's like, what kind of American are you?

00:10:27Right.

00:10:27And then she goes, I'm from here, right?

00:10:30I don't know what, Massachusetts or something.

00:10:32And then they go to the Asian guy and he goes, where are you from?

00:10:35And he goes, Hong Kong.

00:10:38Doesn't even try to hide it.

00:10:39Yeah, he doesn't even try.

00:10:40And they go, pop, and they shoot him.

00:10:41You know?

00:10:42Why?

00:10:43Can I tell you why he thought that was strategic?

00:10:44Why?

00:10:45Because he said Hong Kong instead of China.

00:10:49Oh, so you're thinking that people from the other side don't even know what fuck where Hong Kong is?

00:10:53No, because Hong Kong used to be a British, you know, ruled by the British territory.

00:10:59They don't think that way.

00:10:59Hong Kong sounds like nowhere in America.

00:11:01You're right.

00:11:02It's like Hong Kong saying ding-dang-dang.

00:11:03Might as well just say that.

00:11:05Did he say it with an accent?

00:11:06Oh, my God.

00:11:07Yeah, he just goes, Hong Kong.

00:11:08Everyone else was like, Florida.

00:11:10Yeah, I would have been Cleveland.

00:11:12Actually, you should not.

00:11:14You can't do that because that's actually the enemy.

00:11:17No.

00:11:18What?

00:11:19That's the map.

00:11:20So it's Texas, California, and then Florida Alliance and Western forces are part of the blue.

00:11:26And then all this is the third term president.

00:11:29Yeah, the term.

00:11:29Right.

00:11:30So that's the map.

00:11:31Loyalist.

00:11:31So they're basically, and then the guy should have lied to it.

00:11:34But that scene is the most intense scene I've seen in a long time.

00:11:38So overall, what grade do you give it?

00:11:42Well, a zero because it's never going to happen.

00:11:45The movie.

00:11:46The movie.

00:11:46That's what I'm saying.

00:11:47That premise of it will never happen.

00:11:49You go to the movies to.

00:11:51You rate it by possibility.

00:11:53Lord of the Rings.

00:11:54Like Mission Impossible.

00:11:56That happened in history.

00:11:58That happened in history, dude.

00:11:59I've met hobbits before.

00:12:01One of them's been on this podcast.

00:12:03Haven't we had a hobbit on this podcast?

00:12:05Oh, yeah, we did.

00:12:06We definitely did.

00:12:08We have.

00:12:09Case in point, done.

00:12:11Okay.

00:12:12You had Bilbo Baggins in here?

00:12:14No.

00:12:14No, we had Mary.

00:12:16Mary?

00:12:16Mary.

00:12:17Mary.

00:12:17Yeah.

00:12:18Remember Mary?

00:12:19Okay.

00:12:20You see it?

00:12:21No.

00:12:22Wait, you never saw Lord of the Rings?

00:12:23I saw The Hobbit.

00:12:25The Hobbit, the decimation of Smaug.

00:12:28Yeah.

00:12:28That's the only one you saw?

00:12:30Mm-hmm.

00:12:31He watches the very last movie, the whole series.

00:12:34He skips the whole thing.

00:12:35He skips the whole thing.

00:12:36I mean, what's your big fantasy series?

00:12:42What do you consider Black Mirror?

00:12:44Fantasy?

00:12:45Sci-fi.

00:12:46Sci-fi.

00:12:46Sci-fi, yeah, yeah.

00:12:47You know any fantasy?

00:12:48No fantasy?

00:12:49You never saw Game of Thrones?

00:12:50No.

00:12:51Yeah.

00:12:52Why?

00:12:53I don't know.

00:12:54It doesn't catch my, like, it doesn't grab me.

00:12:58It doesn't grab you.

00:12:58Dragons.

00:12:59No.

00:13:00Yeah.

00:13:00Dragons.

00:13:01Shrek.

00:13:02Shrek?

00:13:02Shrek is pretty good.

00:13:03Yeah, yeah.

00:13:04That's kind of fantasy.

00:13:05Yeah, it's kind of fantasy.

00:13:05If you're a three-year-old kid.

00:13:07That's a good movie, though.

00:13:09Shrek?

00:13:09Shrek, yeah.

00:13:10Yeah, yeah.

00:13:10They have dragons and donkeys, babies.

00:13:15What do you say?

00:13:17Bro, you really drive me crazy sometimes.

00:13:20Yeah.

00:13:20You said donkey babies?

00:13:21Donkey babies.

00:13:22Donkey.

00:13:23You know.

00:13:24Who plays that guy, the donkey?

00:13:26Eddie Murphy.

00:13:27Very good.

00:13:28You're back on the team.

00:13:30Can you do a Shrek impression?

00:13:32I've never seen it.

00:13:34Yeah.

00:13:35Hi, Kazumi.

00:13:37Hi.

00:13:38Hi, Kazumi.

00:13:39Hello, Kazumi.

00:13:41Hello, Kazumi.

00:13:42How's it going?

00:13:42Hi.

00:13:42Hello, Kazumi's friend.

00:13:44Is that your publicist?

00:13:46That is my hot manager.

00:13:48That's your manager?

00:13:48Yeah.

00:13:49What's her name?

00:13:50Sarah.

00:13:51Hi, Sarah.

00:13:53Konnichiwa.

00:13:54I'm not Japanese.

00:13:55Do you remember when I saw you at the parking lot?

00:13:57I've never seen you before.

00:13:58And screamed that I loved you?

00:13:59When?

00:14:00This was in the...

00:14:00This was like a year ago.

00:14:02Where?

00:14:02You were in a parking lot.

00:14:03I'd remember that.

00:14:04And I said, I love you so much.

00:14:06And what'd I say?

00:14:07You said, thanks.

00:14:09Yeah, that's good.

00:14:10Yeah.

00:14:10Yeah, somebody's like, oh, fuck you.

00:14:12No, I don't.

00:14:13No, you don't.

00:14:14No, I'm always saying thanks.

00:14:15You're so polite.

00:14:15So what parking lot?

00:14:17This was, it was like Bert Kreischer's like LMFAO OnlyFans debut thing.

00:14:23Bert Kreischer.

00:14:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:25No, I don't.

00:14:27Keep explaining it.

00:14:28The fat guy.

00:14:29No, I mean.

00:14:30You did this.

00:14:30Do this.

00:14:31Yeah, yeah.

00:14:31Give me this guy.

00:14:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:32Because he has like a really big heart.

00:14:34He has a big heart.

00:14:34Yeah, yeah.

00:14:35And a big tummy.

00:14:36So, oh, so it was an OnlyFans party kind of thing?

00:14:39It was like an OnlyFans comedy show premiere.

00:14:42A roast?

00:14:43Oh, it was the roast of him.

00:14:44Yeah, it was the roast.

00:14:45I wasn't there.

00:14:46No, you were.

00:14:47I never, I promise you, I never went there.

00:14:50Oh, maybe it was Jojitsu Kua.

00:14:52She confused you.

00:14:55Jojitsu Kawa.

00:14:56She confused you.

00:14:58You guys have like a similar vibe.

00:15:00No, no, we don't.

00:15:00You were.

00:15:01We don't, lady.

00:15:02That's how you opened.

00:15:04Honestly, now you remember it wasn't me.

00:15:06Okay, I'm sorry.

00:15:07Was it me or not?

00:15:08I feel like it was you.

00:15:09But it wasn't because I never went to that.

00:15:11Okay.

00:15:11I love that when Asians get other Asians wrong.

00:15:14I know.

00:15:14Was it him?

00:15:17Oh, is that not you?

00:15:20What?

00:15:21Wow.

00:15:22You guys look exactly the same.

00:15:24Yeah, so he said thank you.

00:15:25Okay.

00:15:26So we'll tell him.

00:15:27Yeah, heart to you.

00:15:30Fuck you, okay?

00:15:31You guys are like in the Steve Aoki family tree.

00:15:34Oh, we have the same kind of face?

00:15:36Yeah.

00:15:36Yeah, same.

00:15:37What is it?

00:15:38It's like a...

00:15:39Cross-eyed?

00:15:40No.

00:15:41I mean, Steve Aoki is good looking.

00:15:42He's hot.

00:15:42So is Devin Aoki.

00:15:43She's like a muse for all like the big fashion brands.

00:15:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:47You know, can I be honest with you people?

00:15:49A lot of women find me very attractive.

00:15:51We believe it.

00:15:53Sure.

00:15:53Look at me and Steve there.

00:15:54Same family.

00:15:55Yeah.

00:15:55Look how strong I am.

00:15:57Did you have that same?

00:15:58Like just ready?

00:16:00No, that's on my Instagram.

00:16:01Oh.

00:16:01Yeah.

00:16:02Just Google.

00:16:03I don't even remember.

00:16:04That was in Michigan or something.

00:16:05It was in an airport.

00:16:06Michigan.

00:16:07No, it was in an airport.

00:16:07I guarantee it was in an airport.

00:16:09It was a hotel.

00:16:10A hotel, yes.

00:16:11You were traveling for sure.

00:16:12Yeah, no shit.

00:16:14Let's not fight.

00:16:15No, because I remember...

00:16:16I mean, she came in...

00:16:16No, she came in...

00:16:17No, let me...

00:16:17Let's...

00:16:19Let's back up for a second, okay?

00:16:20She called you judges.

00:16:20Let's get back to the foundations.

00:16:22Thank you for doing it.

00:16:23This is our podcast.

00:16:24Thank you for being here, Kazumi.

00:16:25Kazumi.

00:16:25Thanks for having me.

00:16:26Kazumi.

00:16:27Okay.

00:16:28What?

00:16:29It's a heart.

00:16:29Heart.

00:16:32The next time you see someone

00:16:34that kind of maybe...

00:16:35Yeah, you want to listen to that?

00:16:36Is that better?

00:16:37Yeah, I hear your nice voice.

00:16:40I love what she's trying to do.

00:16:41She's so good.

00:16:42At first, I hated her,

00:16:43but now I love her again.

00:16:44She's bringing you back, yeah.

00:16:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:45Let's do a proper intro, though.

00:16:47All right, so Kazumi.

00:16:48Ladies and gentlemen, Kazumi,

00:16:50she is a social influencer, right?

00:16:53A lot of followers.

00:16:55Top 0.01 performer.

00:16:56Top 0.01 of the world,

00:16:59which is a very difficult thing to do.

00:17:00By the way, very rapid, quick rise.

00:17:03Oh, thank you.

00:17:03Rapid, quick rise.

00:17:04Well deserved.

00:17:05Yeah, and then she hosted the...

00:17:07Well, you were on the adult...

00:17:09Right?

00:17:10The adult videos, yeah.

00:17:11No, no, not the adult videos.

00:17:12There was an award show.

00:17:13AVNs.

00:17:14Yeah, did you host it,

00:17:15or you were on it?

00:17:16Yeah, it stands for Adult Video Network.

00:17:19You hosted it, right?

00:17:20You didn't host?

00:17:22No, I never hosted it.

00:17:23Really?

00:17:24Why?

00:17:24I thought you said you did.

00:17:25Only porn stars host it.

00:17:26Yeah, no, there's sometimes comedians.

00:17:27Yeah, so Kate Quigley,

00:17:29I think Greg Fitzsimmons.

00:17:30Fitzsimmons did it, yeah.

00:17:31April Macy.

00:17:32Yeah, so some...

00:17:33We had Lil Duval.

00:17:34Very good.

00:17:35Yeah.

00:17:36I love Big Duval, though.

00:17:37That's my favorite.

00:17:38He's so big.

00:17:38But Robert Duval from The Godfather.

00:17:40I call him Big Duval.

00:17:42Anyway, so Kazumi,

00:17:43and then give her a round of applause, Kazumi.

00:17:45Woo!

00:17:48Where do you get most of your money,

00:17:49the OnlyFans or other things?

00:17:51Yeah, OnlyFans.

00:17:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:52And so you know what I don't like about OnlyFans?

00:17:55May I ask you something?

00:17:55Why?

00:17:56So they go, like, for $100, right,

00:17:58you can see something even more mysterious, right?

00:18:01Right?

00:18:01Like, it better be your fallopian tubes because...

00:18:03Oh, I'm showing full hole.

00:18:05I'm not...

00:18:05Oh, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

00:18:07What do you mean hole?

00:18:09Like my...

00:18:10Like all of my holes.

00:18:12Yeah.

00:18:14I understand that.

00:18:15But we...

00:18:16Okay, let me say something.

00:18:17The face has seven.

00:18:18So I show seven holes.

00:18:21Count them?

00:18:22One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

00:18:24I know, I said it's seven, right?

00:18:26I didn't even know that.

00:18:28Yeah, so I have seven holes on my face, right?

00:18:30One, two...

00:18:32So I have nine holes in general.

00:18:34So I have ten.

00:18:35Why?

00:18:36No, is the belly button a hole?

00:18:38No, sweetie.

00:18:39No, it's not complete.

00:18:40We have three holes down there.

00:18:42Girls do.

00:18:43You have fucking two holes.

00:18:44We have three.

00:18:45No, no, no.

00:18:45Stop, stop, stop.

00:18:46Just because one hole has different holes,

00:18:49you gotta count that as one hole.

00:18:50No, no, no.

00:18:51One hole is its own hole,

00:18:52which is the pee hole.

00:18:53No.

00:18:54Where is the pee hole?

00:18:56In its own area.

00:18:57But it's in the big hole.

00:18:58No.

00:19:00Have you seen like a vagina before?

00:19:02No, I've never had.

00:19:03You think that pee comes out of the main hole?

00:19:06No, no, no.

00:19:06Not like a fucking, you know what I mean?

00:19:08Like a fire hose.

00:19:11No, no, no.

00:19:11Let me get this right.

00:19:12You think there's a hole,

00:19:14a small hole within the big hole

00:19:15that shoots out pee.

00:19:16Okay, you guys are gonna make me

00:19:19so fucking mad right now,

00:19:20but I will just demonstrate if I may, okay?

00:19:24Finally.

00:19:24Finally, thank you, right?

00:19:26All right, so, all right?

00:19:27Please explain our anatomy.

00:19:29Yeah, yeah, this is,

00:19:29well, can I just ask?

00:19:31Yeah, please.

00:19:32You guys are being so rude,

00:19:34and I feel like I'm being ganged up on.

00:19:36And I feel like I'm being bullied.

00:19:37Am I right, guys?

00:19:38Yeah.

00:19:40Yeah.

00:19:41Yeah.

00:19:42I'm just asking a question.

00:19:43Sorry.

00:19:44I don't know everything.

00:19:47I apologize.

00:19:4852 years.

00:19:49You're not the only one, so.

00:19:50You don't know each.

00:19:51How many holes do you think there's on there?

00:19:53If they say three, three.

00:19:55The opposite of you.

00:19:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:57You have supported them.

00:19:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:59If they say three, three.

00:20:00How many holes have you seen?

00:20:02One.

00:20:04Okay.

00:20:05Great.

00:20:06So, right?

00:20:07So, how do we know?

00:20:08I'm just telling you one.

00:20:10Yeah, so what I'm saying is

00:20:11that you've only seen one, right?

00:20:12How do you know there's three?

00:20:14Don't tell you there's three.

00:20:15You're thinking you're lying.

00:20:16We would never lie.

00:20:17Women don't lie.

00:20:18Anyway, so this is the vaginal area.

00:20:21Okay, yeah.

00:20:22Okay?

00:20:22This is where the clit is.

00:20:24Okay?

00:20:24Usually.

00:20:25Okay.

00:20:25Usually, right?

00:20:26Am I not right?

00:20:27Yes.

00:20:27This is where you stick your pee pee in.

00:20:28Yes.

00:20:29Right?

00:20:30So, what you're telling me is this, okay?

00:20:32The pee hole is above that?

00:20:34No, it's like right here.

00:20:36Right?

00:20:36It's in the big hole.

00:20:38It's not in the big hole, Bobby.

00:20:39It's in the hole.

00:20:41It's not.

00:20:42It's above the hole.

00:20:43Whatever holes are in this mechanism,

00:20:45it's considered one hole.

00:20:47There we go.

00:20:47That whole thing is one hole.

00:20:49Sweetie, I want to,

00:20:51God, if I could just pee in front of you right now,

00:20:54I would prove to you this is in the back.

00:20:56Oh, I see.

00:20:57No, no, no.

00:20:57Okay, now I see.

00:20:58All right.

00:20:59So, yeah, okay, you're right.

00:21:00Say all those words up there.

00:21:01Okay, so, can I just point to the chart?

00:21:04Yes.

00:21:05May I point to the chart?

00:21:06It was a science class.

00:21:07May I point to the chart, okay?

00:21:09All right.

00:21:10So, a man, for me, I don't have a vagina.

00:21:13So, I consider, see this pink outer lining?

00:21:15Yeah.

00:21:15The hole.

00:21:17It's like saying,

00:21:18your face only has one hole.

00:21:20I don't think we should put that out.

00:21:23That didn't work out the way I wanted it.

00:21:24Basically, what you're saying, Bobby,

00:21:26what you're saying is your whole face is one hole.

00:21:29You don't have compartments.

00:21:30You don't have eyes, nose, and mouth.

00:21:31That's so silly that you say that.

00:21:33Does my face look like a hole?

00:21:34Yeah.

00:21:36I don't want to talk about the vagina

00:21:38because we're going to get docs, right?

00:21:39Yeah.

00:21:39Docs?

00:21:40Yeah, docs.

00:21:40Whatever they call it.

00:21:43Yeah, I don't get docs right now, all right?

00:21:45One time in college,

00:21:46I had this lady that was really into

00:21:48putting things in her urethra.

00:21:50So, I would put like rods.

00:21:52Aretha Franklin?

00:21:52No, her urethra.

00:21:53Urethra is the pee hole.

00:21:54The pee hole for the girls,

00:21:55which is different than her vagina hole.

00:21:58So, I knew at that moment those were different holes.

00:22:00That is gnarly

00:22:00because that would cost me the worst UTI ever.

00:22:03It was like a reverse pee.

00:22:05Oh, my God.

00:22:06And the urethra is such a tiny hole.

00:22:07So, it's basically like

00:22:09when you put a catheter in, right?

00:22:10Yeah, yeah, but like in a horny way.

00:22:12Oh, wow.

00:22:14Okay, there's three holes down there.

00:22:16There is, yeah.

00:22:17Because if you like,

00:22:17let's say,

00:22:18let's suppose I have to be catheterized

00:22:20at a hospital.

00:22:20They're not putting it in my like big hole.

00:22:23They're putting it in the urine hole.

00:22:25Can I make another argument though?

00:22:27Yes.

00:22:27May I try?

00:22:28All right.

00:22:29Now, the pee hole is a very tiny hole, right?

00:22:33Yes.

00:22:34Can we agree on that?

00:22:35Yeah.

00:22:36Right?

00:22:36But aren't skin pores

00:22:39considered holes as well?

00:22:41Yeah, then you're-

00:22:41The pores are-

00:22:42So, technically,

00:22:43I have thousands of holes.

00:22:45We're like Spongebob,

00:22:46like millions of holes.

00:22:47Millions of holes, right?

00:22:48So, we're all lying.

00:22:49Yeah, it's true, but we're-

00:22:50Do I win the argument?

00:22:52It is watertight though.

00:22:53It's what you can fuck, right?

00:22:55Like, that's how we define a hole?

00:22:56That's how we define a hole?

00:22:57You can't-

00:22:57So, this is not a hole.

00:22:58You can't fuck my eye.

00:22:59Oh, I've seen people-

00:23:00You could.

00:23:00Yeah.

00:23:01Okay, I guess you can.

00:23:02Yeah.

00:23:02I don't want to do that ever,

00:23:03but anyway.

00:23:04Well, why-

00:23:06Would you want to get your eye fucked?

00:23:07No.

00:23:08Okay, good.

00:23:08Doesn't sound very appealing.

00:23:13Really?

00:23:14What if it felt good, Jaime?

00:23:16I don't know.

00:23:17Yeah, okay.

00:23:17Anyway, let's move on.

00:23:18Because you're actually-

00:23:20Were you a film major

00:23:20or you're like a major film buff, right?

00:23:22Yeah, yeah.

00:23:23I went to film-

00:23:24Ooh, ooh, ooh.

00:23:25So, can we talk about film?

00:23:26Yeah.

00:23:26What film school?

00:23:27I went to a community college

00:23:28but my major was film.

00:23:29But I was in screenwriting.

00:23:31Nice.

00:23:32I'm still doing film to this day.

00:23:34Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:23:38Like, film, film, Bobby.

00:23:40Film.

00:23:41Like, she's a film boss.

00:23:41Yeah, I'm going to ask her

00:23:42about film then, all right?

00:23:43I was at the Cannes Film Festival.

00:23:45That's like a film thing to do.

00:23:46Yeah, yeah.

00:23:47Classic film thing.

00:23:48Give me your hand.

00:23:49Okay, I don't-

00:23:49Oh.

00:23:51That's how you grab?

00:23:52Oh.

00:23:52Yeah, no, let's not do it again.

00:23:55We don't know how to do that yet.

00:23:56Let's just try it again.

00:23:57Okay.

00:23:58Oh.

00:24:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:24:00Anyway, good to see you.

00:24:02So, what are your top five favorite films?

00:24:05Ooh, here we go.

00:24:06I like Nymphomaniac 1.

00:24:08Which one?

00:24:09Nymphomaniac 1.

00:24:10Shia LaBeouf.

00:24:11Shia is in that.

00:24:12Nymphomaniac 2.

00:24:14Okay.

00:24:14Is Shia in that?

00:24:15Yeah.

00:24:16He's in the second one too?

00:24:17I think, right?

00:24:18Yeah, where she gets like old and ugly

00:24:20but still really horny.

00:24:21He's having lots of sex, yeah.

00:24:22Yeah.

00:24:22But Shia is in that.

00:24:23Yeah, yeah.

00:24:23LaBeouf, okay.

00:24:24Yeah, but he's evil.

00:24:25And then...

00:24:26He's a good guy.

00:24:27The Bee Movie.

00:24:28The what?

00:24:28The Bee Movie.

00:24:29The Bee Movie.

00:24:30The one about the bees.

00:24:31Yeah, yeah.

00:24:31Oh, you mean the one Jerry Seinfeld wrote?

00:24:33Yeah.

00:24:33Okay.

00:24:34But he's not funny.

00:24:37Wait, the anime film?

00:24:38Jerry?

00:24:39Yeah.

00:24:39Jerry, if you're listening,

00:24:41you have your own thing, you know?

00:24:42You like jazz?

00:24:43Yeah, I love jazz music.

00:24:44Yeah.

00:24:44That's a quote from the movie.

00:24:48Film major.

00:24:50So you went to community college film?

00:24:51Yeah.

00:24:52That's what they taught you?

00:24:53Yeah.

00:24:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:24:54They never saw you...

00:24:55Oh, yeah, I know what the Bee Movie looks like.

00:24:56For the audience.

00:24:57She said nymphomaniac in the Bee Movie.

00:25:00I think the better angle is this

00:25:02because now I'm going,

00:25:03have you seen other movies than those three?

00:25:07Name movies, name movies.

00:25:09Well, if you went to film school,

00:25:11well, then I'm going to be more film school-y.

00:25:13Yeah.

00:25:14My things, all right.

00:25:15But you're also,

00:25:16you're only 27, right?

00:25:17Yeah.

00:25:17That doesn't mean...

00:25:18That's what it does?

00:25:19I'm fucking...

00:25:19No, fuck off.

00:25:20I'm an ancient citizen.

00:25:21I'm a MILF.

00:25:23She's a MILF.

00:25:23It really isn't...

00:25:24What's a cutoff of like, what is...

00:25:25When you have big boobs.

00:25:27Oh, that's right.

00:25:27It becomes MILF, right?

00:25:29Okay, can I just get down to business here?

00:25:36Because this is what I...

00:25:37Because I've been going on dates.

00:25:38Oh.

00:25:40It's like she didn't believe it.

00:25:41It's like she didn't believe it.

00:25:43Sorry.

00:25:43She was shocked.

00:25:45Sorry.

00:25:46She was so shocked.

00:25:48No, I believe you.

00:25:51It's the rudest thing.

00:25:53Anyway, okay.

00:25:56So let me ask you,

00:25:57what do you mean?

00:26:00Let's get that right.

00:26:01I mean, it's shocking that I'm dating women?

00:26:03No, I just...

00:26:04Do you do find me unattractive?

00:26:05No, you're so hot.

00:26:07Yeah.

00:26:08So hot.

00:26:09That was not convincing.

00:26:10Yeah.

00:26:11All right.

00:26:12Fuck both of you right now, okay?

00:26:14I love you though.

00:26:14I actually did for 10 years, Bobby.

00:26:17I think you are hot.

00:26:18Good stuff, good stuff, right?

00:26:18And she's really hot.

00:26:19She's super hot.

00:26:20That makes you like hotter.

00:26:21Can we go back to film?

00:26:23Okay.

00:26:25You see what I did for you?

00:26:26I made you hotter.

00:26:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:27Did you not hear that?

00:26:28Yeah, I'm really trying to...

00:26:30Anyway, can we go back to the film thing?

00:26:31Yeah.

00:26:31Okay, so I'm dating...

00:26:34Don't do the noise again, but I'm dating again.

00:26:38And a lot of young girls are like, they'll go, I only like Taylor Swift, right?

00:26:42I go, well, there's other music like The Beatles, right?

00:26:44Have you heard like The White Album or Abbey Road or anything like that?

00:26:47And they're like, well, that's old people, like old-timey music.

00:26:50And my point, though, being is that even when I was in the 80s, when I was a kid, right,

00:26:56I had all the albums.

00:26:57That wasn't my time period.

00:26:58I still listened to Beethoven and Mozart.

00:27:00My point being is that that's not an excuse.

00:27:02I agree.

00:27:03Okay?

00:27:03So it's like, you know, it's not about age.

00:27:06It's about interest.

00:27:07Right.

00:27:08Okay?

00:27:09So here we go.

00:27:10Have you...

00:27:11This is...

00:27:11I'm just going to film...

00:27:12I love you so much.

00:27:13What did I do?

00:27:14Nothing.

00:27:14I said I love you so much.

00:27:15I love you too.

00:27:16Okay, good.

00:27:18Okay.

00:27:20She's weird.

00:27:21I love her.

00:27:21I'm a little weird.

00:27:23Yeah, I'm weird too.

00:27:25Have you ever...

00:27:26Any Scorsese early movies that you liked?

00:27:28That's The Wolf of Wall Street guy, right?

00:27:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:30The leg, vagina.

00:27:32Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:35Very good.

00:27:37So have you seen any Curaçao film?

00:27:40No.

00:27:41Okay.

00:27:42No.

00:27:42All right.

00:27:43The Curaçao stuff is deep cuts, though.

00:27:46Consider one of the greatest directors ever to live.

00:27:48I understand.

00:27:48But it's still, like, pretty deep cut.

00:27:51Not really deep cut to me, no.

00:27:52Okay.

00:27:53I mean, George Lucas built...

00:27:54At his ranch has a building called the Curaçao building.

00:27:59That's George Lucas.

00:28:00It's not deep cut, though.

00:28:01The building's being named after, right?

00:28:03In Skywalker Ranch?

00:28:05Skywalker Ranch.

00:28:06Very good.

00:28:06That's deep cut.

00:28:08That's not.

00:28:09Everyone knows that.

00:28:10We know what that is.

00:28:12Okay, so anyway.

00:28:13We can pass on that.

00:28:14So, like, did you ever see any of the Godfather movies?

00:28:19No.

00:28:19Okay.

00:28:19They're too old.

00:28:22What's the oldest movie?

00:28:23Let's start there.

00:28:24What's the oldest movie you've seen?

00:28:25Oh, I don't know.

00:28:27Okay.

00:28:28Citizen Kane.

00:28:30That's really old.

00:28:31Lead with that.

00:28:32Yeah, you should have led with Citizen...

00:28:34I did it.

00:28:35Citizen Kane, right.

00:28:37So you saw Citizen Kane.

00:28:38Yeah.

00:28:38Okay, good.

00:28:40All right, so you went to film school.

00:28:41But did you ever want to be a director?

00:28:43I want to be a screenwriter.

00:28:44I wanted to tell, like, Asian stories.

00:28:46What kind of stories?

00:28:48Like, uh...

00:28:49Mostly about me.

00:28:50Oh, really?

00:28:51Yeah, yeah.

00:28:51Stories about you.

00:28:52Yeah, like being an Asian woman.

00:28:54Oh, the Asian woman perspective.

00:28:56Yeah, yeah.

00:28:57Is there any parts in your movies with me in it, or no?

00:29:00With you?

00:29:00No, could I be in the movie?

00:29:02I saw your ramen, your thing.

00:29:05Yeah, the ramen thing?

00:29:06Yeah, yeah.

00:29:07Go ahead.

00:29:07No, I saw your ramen.

00:29:09I know, but do you have an opinion about it?

00:29:10I liked it.

00:29:11You really recited the ingredients.

00:29:13Like, you really knew what you were talking about.

00:29:14Really?

00:29:15Thank you so much.

00:29:15Thank you so much for saying that.

00:29:16I appreciate it.

00:29:17Let's move on.

00:29:19Because you're Filipino parents, right?

00:29:22Yeah, yeah.

00:29:23Were they very, like, typically very, like, strict?

00:29:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:28They would explode if they knew I was here.

00:29:31Would they...

00:29:31Are they supportive now, or they still haven't come around?

00:29:34No, they don't know what I do.

00:29:35They work at the hater factory.

00:29:36What's the hater factory?

00:29:38It's where my parents live.

00:29:39But what, in America?

00:29:41Yeah, yeah.

00:29:41Wait, how do they not know what you're doing?

00:29:44They're, like, on Asian Facebook, an Asian church.

00:29:48Yeah, it's very, like, it's very insulated.

00:29:51So no one from their church is like, hey, Kazumi.

00:29:53They're safe from my holes, yeah.

00:29:54Really?

00:29:55Yeah.

00:29:55What would they do if they found out?

00:29:57They would commit seppuku.

00:29:59They go full Japanese.

00:30:01They would kill themselves.

00:30:02Yeah, they would die.

00:30:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:03Well, does that, I mean, can I just say, I love what you're doing.

00:30:12And I don't know what that was, but it's so weird.

00:30:16Respecting our truth.

00:30:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:17Dude, Memorial Day.

00:30:18Do you remember?

00:30:20Yeah.

00:30:20Yeah, okay.

00:30:21I don't know what that's, but, but what, so, I, does that, is that in your mind when

00:30:28you're doing, like, your work?

00:30:30Like, when I'm sucking penis?

00:30:32Like, I'm, like, thinking about my dad.

00:30:33No, I mean, just, would you, like, that doesn't think about it.

00:30:35You don't think about it?

00:30:35No, I, like, avoid thinking about my dad.

00:30:37Was it, like, a, like, super religious household then?

00:30:40No, it was just a super hater household.

00:30:41Like, they weren't even really that religious.

00:30:43Oh, really?

00:30:44Yeah.

00:30:45So, do you have a boyfriend?

00:30:46Yeah.

00:30:47What's, is he Asian?

00:30:48No.

00:30:48White?

00:30:49No.

00:30:49Black?

00:30:50Yeah.

00:30:51He's black?

00:30:52Yeah.

00:30:54Why is that so funny?

00:30:55It was so funny.

00:30:56Yeah.

00:30:56Yeah, why would you laugh like a fucking hyena just now?

00:30:58What's that supposed to mean?

00:31:00Prrk.

00:31:00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:02Prrk.

00:31:02What's a, what's a prrk?

00:31:04Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:06So, would you.

00:31:07But I'm, I'm getting around to fucking more Asian men.

00:31:10God bless you and take care.

00:31:12Thank you for saying that.

00:31:13I, they're, they're coming back around.

00:31:15What do you mean, like, in your personal life or in work?

00:31:17Well, me and my boyfriend had an open relationship.

00:31:20Oh.

00:31:20But lately I've been hanging out with some more Asian guys and I'm seeing division.

00:31:24Division of it.

00:31:25But you haven't really done it.

00:31:27No, I've been doing it.

00:31:27Oh, really?

00:31:28Yeah.

00:31:28Whoa.

00:31:29I had one this weekend right before AAPI month ended.

00:31:33Yes, that's a great time.

00:31:34AAPI month.

00:31:35All right, really?

00:31:35At the end, you have to do it or the beginning.

00:31:37You're welcome.

00:31:37I do it in the beginning.

00:31:38I had a, like, a HAPA earlier this month.

00:31:40That's like half.

00:31:41That's a HAPI?

00:31:41Yeah.

00:31:42But you haven't done a full one.

00:31:43No, I did a full one this weekend.

00:31:44Oh, really?

00:31:45Before I did.

00:31:45Have you done an old full one?

00:31:47Like 52 years old.

00:31:50Is that how old you are?

00:31:51Yeah.

00:31:51No, not yet.

00:31:52No.

00:31:53Not that I want to.

00:31:54You would throw up.

00:31:56I would throw up?

00:31:57Yeah.

00:31:57To what?

00:31:58What?

00:31:59Wait, wait, wait.

00:31:59Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

00:32:00No, I wouldn't.

00:32:02Yeah.

00:32:03I wouldn't throw up.

00:32:04I wouldn't throw up.

00:32:04I think you have the right call there because he is very, like, Christian boy.

00:32:09He looks fragile.

00:32:10He's not so fragile as he's just very, like, he's Christian about his stuff.

00:32:15Oh.

00:32:16So you don't cheat or eat shrimp and you're homophobic?

00:32:20No, not homophobic.

00:32:21No, not homophobic.

00:32:22I love homos.

00:32:22I've sucked it.

00:32:23He's the opposite.

00:32:24Oh, he's the opposite.

00:32:24Oh, he's the pride month.

00:32:25So I'm open.

00:32:25Yeah.

00:32:26I'm open to all that.

00:32:28What she's saying is, I think what you're reading is wrong.

00:32:31Elegant.

00:32:32That's not elegance.

00:32:33No.

00:32:33No, you're just not into the super freaky stuff.

00:32:35It's not that.

00:32:36She would know.

00:32:36Yeah.

00:32:37For sure.

00:32:38I don't like butthole stuff.

00:32:39I'm sorry.

00:32:39My bad.

00:32:40Grow up.

00:32:44Grow up?

00:32:45I've heard that before.

00:32:45Fuck you.

00:32:46You grow up.

00:32:47You're missing out on a world of flavor.

00:32:49Oh.

00:32:50I don't like poo flavor.

00:32:52It's not poo flavored.

00:32:53That's not poo flavor.

00:32:54No.

00:32:56Yours might be.

00:32:58Yeah.

00:32:58But Jaime.

00:32:59Jaime.

00:33:00Yeah.

00:33:00If I ate your butthole right now.

00:33:02Okay.

00:33:03Okay.

00:33:04What flavor would I be tasting?

00:33:09Strawberry pound cake.

00:33:11You made it sound so enticing.

00:33:13Pound.

00:33:14Pound cake.

00:33:16Not shortcake pound cake.

00:33:18Strawberry pound cake.

00:33:20Not shortcake.

00:33:20Okay.

00:33:21I like this guy.

00:33:21Yeah.

00:33:22Yeah.

00:33:22So I'll be like, hi, man.

00:33:25Strawberry?

00:33:26Oh.

00:33:27Oh.

00:33:27Pound cake.

00:33:28Pound cake.

00:33:29Yeah.

00:33:29Right?

00:33:30And then how would, why does your butthole taste like that?

00:33:32I would, I don't know.

00:33:34I just, I like that flavor.

00:33:35Just because you like the flavor doesn't mean that that's what the flavor is.

00:33:39His power.

00:33:40He thinks about it.

00:33:41Is that it?

00:33:41It's like.

00:33:41Oh, you manifest it.

00:33:43Yeah.

00:33:43You visualize it.

00:33:44You manifest it and it tastes like that.

00:33:45Okay.

00:33:46Good.

00:33:46It's a candle from Bath Body Works.

00:33:49Oh, you buy, oh, you buy the soaps.

00:33:50Yeah.

00:33:51Oh, I see.

00:33:52Okay.

00:33:52What do you think you would taste if you did mine?

00:33:55Rice.

00:33:57So literal.

00:33:59So literal.

00:34:01Are you Asian?

00:34:02No, I'm Mexican.

00:34:03Oh.

00:34:03Yeah.

00:34:03You would taste rice?

00:34:06Just rice.

00:34:08The most bland.

00:34:09The most bland.

00:34:10Not even fried rice.

00:34:11Yeah.

00:34:12Yeah.

00:34:12Cal roast.

00:34:13Cal roast rice.

00:34:13Wow.

00:34:14A little burnt rice or no?

00:34:16Rice with a little bit of beef and broccoli.

00:34:18Whoa.

00:34:19All right.

00:34:19A little bit of, okay, good.

00:34:21Some vegetables and.

00:34:22Entree.

00:34:22Yeah.

00:34:22Okay, good.

00:34:23Let's move on from that, okay?

00:34:25Wait, because I mean, why do you think he would throw up?

00:34:28I would put his ass for the mattress.

00:34:31Whoa.

00:34:32What do you mean?

00:34:33Like you would be obliterated.

00:34:37He'd be like.

00:34:38No, no, no.

00:34:39You know what?

00:34:40You know what?

00:34:42You know what, my friend?

00:34:44Quinn, you might be a little sleeper agent.

00:34:46No, no, no.

00:34:46Dude, I'm a beast, man.

00:34:48I'm an animal, dude.

00:34:49Oh, yeah, you are.

00:34:51He really is like very fun to have sex with.

00:34:54Yeah, you laugh.

00:34:54You like to laugh?

00:34:56I love laughing.

00:34:56Yeah, yeah, you laugh.

00:34:58You'll fall in love with me.

00:34:59I'm in love already.

00:35:00Yeah, yeah.

00:35:00That's how good I am.

00:35:01Anyway, let's move on.

00:35:02You're in, so what do you call it?

00:35:04Open relationship, is that like ethical non-monogamy?

00:35:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:07And like, do you have parameters even around that?

00:35:10I'm anti-cream pie.

00:35:12Okay, so he cannot, so you cannot get cream pie, or he cannot give cream pies?

00:35:17He can give cream pies.

00:35:18I don't really care.

00:35:19Yeah.

00:35:19But I don't like cream pies.

00:35:20And I don't like swallowing.

00:35:21I've never swallowed in my life.

00:35:22Really?

00:35:23It's gross.

00:35:24Yeah, yeah.

00:35:24Yeah.

00:35:25That's okay, so never swallowed.

00:35:27But you know what?

00:35:28I recently had my first butt sex moment.

00:35:32First?

00:35:32Mm-hmm.

00:35:34And I trained for it pretty extensively.

00:35:36I hired this dominatrix to, never mind.

00:35:41No, keep talking.

00:35:42No, keep talking.

00:35:43Dominatrix.

00:35:44Well, I hired this really hot Japanese dominatrix to teach me how to clean my butthole.

00:35:49So she had me like on my back.

00:35:52Soap.

00:35:52No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:35:53Of the inside.

00:35:54No, no, no.

00:35:55We got crap.

00:35:56Yeah, I stick the soap inside.

00:35:57Yeah, like we put like the enema in my butthole, and then she would like, you know, kind of

00:36:01like stomp on my tummy or suggest it, and then come out.

00:36:04Dude, I swear to God, hold on, I got to fart.

00:36:05Can I fart in the mic?

00:36:08Oh, rice.

00:36:09Next time, can you have us guess your farts before you fart?

00:36:12Rice.

00:36:12There's a little rice pellet.

00:36:13That sound like rice, right?

00:36:15One rice came out.

00:36:17A rice came out.

00:36:19Ew, you know what that would mean, right?

00:36:21What?

00:36:21Hand rice?

00:36:22No, like when dogs, when you have little rice kernels around, or cats, it means you

00:36:26have worms.

00:36:28What?

00:36:29It's like a fragment of the worm.

00:36:31I have worms in my butt?

00:36:32Yeah, you don't want rice things, rice looking things to come out of your butt.

00:36:36They move maggots.

00:36:37Yeah, you have worms, Bobby.

00:36:39Let's move on, because I don't want to get, you know what I mean?

00:36:41I want to get doxxed.

00:36:42We don't want to get doxxed.

00:36:44I don't want to get doxxed on this episode.

00:36:45What did he say?

00:36:46Whenever I'm sick, he's always like, you have ringworm.

00:36:49I mean, or tapeworm, or whatever.

00:36:51Let's talk about God.

00:36:52Can we talk about God?

00:36:53Yes.

00:36:53I don't believe in God.

00:36:54I know.

00:36:57It was a segue.

00:36:59Can we segue, though, try?

00:37:03Wait.

00:37:03Jaime has some questions.

00:37:04Go ahead, Jaime.

00:37:04I don't think I will believe in God.

00:37:06I'm not trying to convert you.

00:37:09Segue.

00:37:10Yeah, yeah.

00:37:10Go ahead, Jaime.

00:37:11Oh, yeah.

00:37:12Hey, what's up?

00:37:12How you doing?

00:37:14I'm so nervous.

00:37:16Why are you so nervous?

00:37:17Are you nervous?

00:37:17No, I'm not nervous.

00:37:18You seem nervous.

00:37:19No?

00:37:20Do I seem nervous?

00:37:21I love you.

00:37:24Thank me?

00:37:24No, thank you.

00:37:26I love you.

00:37:28No, okay, look.

00:37:29If you were in the scenario.

00:37:31Slow down.

00:37:31If you were in the scenario of a hot dog eating contest, who are you taking?

00:37:36What?

00:37:39Wait, wait, wait.

00:37:40Hold on, hold on.

00:37:41I don't fully get the question, too.

00:37:43I don't think Koala does.

00:37:44He's asking who I'd want a Kobayashi with.

00:37:47Yeah.

00:37:47Oh, Kobayashi.

00:37:48I'm actually thinking real, like a hot dog.

00:37:50Real hot dog competition?

00:37:52Real hot dog.

00:37:52Okay, okay.

00:37:53Obviously, this guy.

00:37:54Why?

00:37:55Because you look hungry.

00:38:01Like, you would do a good job with me.

00:38:04But you had to eat them in 10 minutes.

00:38:06Yeah, okay.

00:38:07Oh, the rules.

00:38:08Yeah, 10 minutes.

00:38:09Do you know what?

00:38:09I'm a real eater.

00:38:10You would be happy being on my team.

00:38:12Okay.

00:38:13You know what Kobayashi apparently does not feel hunger anymore?

00:38:17It's because he has worms.

00:38:18Is it because of the worms?

00:38:19The worms are eating his stomach mine.

00:38:21Oh, my God.

00:38:22That's so sad.

00:38:23I don't think that's healthy for you.

00:38:24I don't think so.

00:38:25Oh, my God.

00:38:26Oh, my God.

00:38:27He's bleeding.

00:38:27Look at the guy's bleeding in his hand.

00:38:28Oh, my God.

00:38:30He's drinking Kool-Aid.

00:38:30Oh, he is?

00:38:30Oh, yeah.

00:38:31All right.

00:38:32That's insane.

00:38:34Yeah, anyway.

00:38:35How did you break out of your Filipino hater factory?

00:38:40I'm still a hater myself.

00:38:43But my parents were haters to me.

00:38:45And I've been unchained since I turned 18.

00:38:48But then how did they attempt to keep you down and saying,

00:38:51you're staying here, you're not flying on your own?

00:38:53Oh, yeah.

00:38:54I didn't have a phone until I turned 18.

00:38:56I wasn't allowed outside until I turned 17.

00:38:58But I feel like all of that made me super horny.

00:39:02Oh, hell yeah.

00:39:02Yeah, I had to, like, if you make it a big deal to touch penis,

00:39:06I'm going to have to do it.

00:39:07A hundred percent.

00:39:08I think that's...

00:39:09So what's the solution here?

00:39:11You don't stop your kids or your teenagers

00:39:14from wanting to explore the world on their own terms.

00:39:17Yeah, we don't promote it either, right?

00:39:18No, you guide them accordingly.

00:39:19Just be normal about it.

00:39:20Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:21All right, so, okay, so I'm your dad.

00:39:23I'm the dad, okay?

00:39:24You three are my kids.

00:39:25Okay.

00:39:26You guys are triplets.

00:39:27Okay.

00:39:27Okay?

00:39:28You're a Filipino dad?

00:39:29I'm just a dad.

00:39:30Dad, I like this boy.

00:39:32How old are you, though, in this scenario?

00:39:33I'm 15.

00:39:34Okay.

00:39:35All right, sit around.

00:39:36Cindy has something to say, but everyone sit around.

00:39:38Yeah.

00:39:39All right, so, Cindy, go ahead.

00:39:40Say what you want to say.

00:39:41Dad, I like this boy, and he wants to take me out on a date.

00:39:44That's great.

00:39:44Say no to that.

00:39:46Why, Jim?

00:39:48I know him.

00:39:48You're my brother?

00:39:49Yes.

00:39:51Wait, wait, wait.

00:39:51Are you on drugs?

00:39:52You know that's a...

00:39:52You grew up with him.

00:39:53Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

00:39:54Anaheim, I'm sorry.

00:39:55Jim.

00:39:56Oh, Jim.

00:39:57Are you on drugs?

00:39:58You didn't forget your brother's name?

00:39:58Jimmy, I'm so sorry.

00:40:00Yeah, yeah.

00:40:00I forgot you were there for a second.

00:40:01It's okay.

00:40:02Cindy, so, all right, all right.

00:40:04Margaret?

00:40:05I'm Margaret.

00:40:07Are you all three on drugs?

00:40:08You guys are my kids.

00:40:10What's going on here?

00:40:11Are we triplets?

00:40:12She has a brother.

00:40:12Yeah, you're triplets.

00:40:13What is going on here?

00:40:15You guys are on fentanyl?

00:40:17What is going on here?

00:40:19Sit down.

00:40:19Now, let me ask you something.

00:40:21Are you guys slept well?

00:40:22So, you're Cindy, you're Jimmy, you're Margaret.

00:40:24We know that, right?

00:40:25Okay, Dad.

00:40:25And we're the McPherson's.

00:40:27We're McPherson's.

00:40:27All right, all right?

00:40:28What's your name?

00:40:29Is mom L?

00:40:31Yes, what's your name?

00:40:32Yeah, L McPherson.

00:40:33Yeah, she's modeling right now.

00:40:35How'd you snag a model, Dad?

00:40:38Because he's hot.

00:40:39Thank you, Margaret.

00:40:41He looks like Steve Aoki.

00:40:42Thank you, Margaret.

00:40:43So, Cindy, what's your name?

00:40:45What's my name?

00:40:46First and last name.

00:40:47What is it?

00:40:47Cindy McPherson.

00:40:49Duh, Dad.

00:40:49Are you on drugs?

00:40:51Jimmy.

00:40:56Jimmy McPherson.

00:40:56Yeah, that's right, Jimmy.

00:40:58Good boy.

00:40:58Thanks, Dad.

00:40:59What's your name?

00:41:00Kazumi?

00:41:00No, no.

00:41:01What's your name?

00:41:03What's my name?

00:41:04Margaret McPherson.

00:41:05Margaret McPherson.

00:41:06Yeah.

00:41:07Eminem.

00:41:08Yeah.

00:41:08So, what is your...

00:41:09Dad, I like this boy.

00:41:10Hold on.

00:41:11Okay.

00:41:11Now, our family meeting can begin.

00:41:13Okay.

00:41:14All right?

00:41:14Your mom's in France.

00:41:16Just to let you guys know, for two months for a modeling shoot.

00:41:18She's cheating.

00:41:21Margaret, how do you...

00:41:21Margaret, why do you say that?

00:41:22Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:41:23Thank you, Jimmy.

00:41:24Answer your brother.

00:41:25Answer your brother.

00:41:26What else would she be doing in France except cheating?

00:41:28Okay, you're right.

00:41:28Never mind.

00:41:29She is cheating.

00:41:29Okay.

00:41:30Well, Jimmy, you know she's modeling, right?

00:41:32Yeah.

00:41:32She's cheating.

00:41:33She's cheating.

00:41:34Well, let's do the family meeting and then go to your concern.

00:41:38She's in Cannes.

00:41:38She's cheating.

00:41:39There's your mother.

00:41:40There's your mother.

00:41:41There's your mother.

00:41:42Wow.

00:41:42Beautiful.

00:41:43Yeah, yeah.

00:41:44So, go ahead.

00:41:45What did you want to say, Cindy?

00:41:46This guy is really like I'm so attracted to.

00:41:49He wants to take me out on a date.

00:41:50He does?

00:41:50Yeah.

00:41:51Yeah.

00:41:52For sure.

00:41:52What night?

00:41:54Thursday night.

00:41:55Thursday night.

00:41:55We're going to go play bowling.

00:41:57You mean we're going to go play bowling?

00:41:59Dad, I don't want you there.

00:42:00I'm going.

00:42:00Why do you have to be there?

00:42:01I love bowling.

00:42:02That's awkward.

00:42:03No, we're going.

00:42:04Thank you, Jimmy.

00:42:05Tell him, Dad.

00:42:06Yeah, yeah.

00:42:06Jimmy, you cockblock.

00:42:07Yeah, yeah.

00:42:08Jimmy and I are going to be bowling next to you guys.

00:42:10I can't have my incel dad and brother there.

00:42:15Excuse me, young lady.

00:42:16I'm married to a supermodel.

00:42:18True.

00:42:19True.

00:42:20And I have three kids with them, biological kids with the supermodel.

00:42:23You're right.

00:42:23Don't ever talk to me, your dad, like that.

00:42:25Yeah, I'm dead.

00:42:26Yeah, Jimmy, shut the fuck up, okay?

00:42:27I got this.

00:42:28Jimmy, stay out of this.

00:42:30Yeah.

00:42:30Dad, I think I'm ready to have sex.

00:42:33You know, sweetie, I'm all for it.

00:42:37But what's this guy's name?

00:42:42Draco.

00:42:44Draco Malfoy.

00:42:46Draco's his name?

00:42:47Yeah.

00:42:48Is he a vampire?

00:42:49That's his street name.

00:42:50Okay.

00:42:50Oh, you know him, Margaret.

00:42:52Yeah.

00:42:52Oh, you've met Draco.

00:42:54What's Draco's last name?

00:42:55He doesn't have one.

00:42:56It's his street name.

00:42:57Oh, so it's just Draco.

00:42:59Marge, isn't he cute?

00:43:01And isn't he a nice guy?

00:43:02Marge, oh, you call her Marge.

00:43:04Yeah, Marge.

00:43:04Okay, okay.

00:43:05Yeah.

00:43:05It's my sister.

00:43:07Okay, sorry.

00:43:08Are we talking about this guy?

00:43:09Yeah, this guy?

00:43:10Draco.

00:43:11Oh, I had a different visual.

00:43:12Yeah, yeah.

00:43:13So you'll be dating a Slytherin.

00:43:18You're dating a Slytherin.

00:43:19I am.

00:43:19I mean, it was either him or Snape.

00:43:23But you know, I'm friends with Professor Snape.

00:43:26Dumbledorf.

00:43:27Professor Dumbledorf is waiting for you to turn 18.

00:43:30Oh, okay.

00:43:32Wait, as a parent, though.

00:43:32That's grooming.

00:43:33Is that grooming?

00:43:33That's grooming.

00:43:34No, Dumbledorf, no.

00:43:35What would you tell me, though, as your daughter, what would you in earnest say to me?

00:43:39If I was like, Dad, I think I'm ready to have sex.

00:43:41I want to go out with this boy.

00:43:42And I want you to be weird about it.

00:43:44What I would say is I wish you would use protection, please.

00:43:47Okay.

00:43:48So I'm free to go otherwise.

00:43:49Yeah.

00:43:49But if you use protection, yeah, you can do it.

00:43:51You can smoke weed, too.

00:43:52And you can drink alcohol.

00:43:55But that's it.

00:43:55A curfew?

00:43:56Do I have a curfew?

00:43:57Midnight.

00:43:58Okay, I think that's fair.

00:43:58What about like a line of ketamine?

00:44:02You want ketamine?

00:44:03I'm like 17.

00:44:04You're 17?

00:44:06No ketamine until you move out of the house.

00:44:08Can we make a deal?

00:44:09Okay.

00:44:09You can smoke weed in the house.

00:44:11You can drink in the house.

00:44:12No sex in the house because you know I'm a light sleeper.

00:44:16Yes.

00:44:16I'm a light sleeper.

00:44:17I don't want to hear the noises.

00:44:17That would be horrifying to hear the noises.

00:44:19The knocking, you know what I mean?

00:44:21Your head just going against the fucking headboard.

00:44:23Draco.

00:44:24Yeah, yeah.

00:44:24Draco.

00:44:25Draco.

00:44:25Draco, pop, pop, pop.

00:44:26I'm trying to go to bed.

00:44:27Yeah, I can't do it.

00:44:28Would you rather I get bent over in the neighbor's bushes?

00:44:31Let's not talk about sex.

00:44:32Let's talk about, hey, kids.

00:44:33Let's sit around, all right?

00:44:34Okay.

00:44:34Cindy, I love you.

00:44:35Can I see your report card, please?

00:44:37Yeah, straight A's, dad.

00:44:37This is a straight A's thing.

00:44:38She's failing.

00:44:38Yeah.

00:44:39Wait.

00:44:41This is forged?

00:44:42It's forged.

00:44:43Is this forged?

00:44:44Yeah, these are failing.

00:44:44Why'd you just grab me out, Marge?

00:44:46Marge, wow.

00:44:47Wow, okay.

00:44:49Jimmy?

00:44:49Here you go.

00:44:50All A's.

00:44:51All A's.

00:44:51Yes, sir.

00:44:52This isn't a report card, dude.

00:44:54This is the back of a cereal box.

00:44:57Right?

00:44:58And it's like a Lucky Charms questionnaire.

00:45:00Where's your report card, Jimmy?

00:45:01I don't have it, dad.

00:45:03Oh, okay.

00:45:03You're going to get to me tomorrow?

00:45:04Yes.

00:45:05I love you, son.

00:45:05No problem.

00:45:06You're doing a great job.

00:45:06I'm proud of you.

00:45:07I'll be a doctor.

00:45:12Jimmy, any job will be happy.

00:45:16If you could just get a job, we'll celebrate.

00:45:19Okay.

00:45:20All right?

00:45:20We don't have high hopes for you.

00:45:22Okay.

00:45:22I'll go work at Chipotle.

00:45:24Does that make you proud?

00:45:25That's fine.

00:45:26That's fine.

00:45:27All right.

00:45:27Marge, report card?

00:45:30I have zero.

00:45:31Well, yeah, I know.

00:45:32I have to go to school.

00:45:34Has she been attending school?

00:45:36Marge?

00:45:36Yeah.

00:45:36I mean, this is what I know of my sister, Marge.

00:45:39Rumor on the street is that she's a sugar baby to someone.

00:45:44She's a snitch.

00:45:45That's like...

00:45:46Like you snitched on her about her report card?

00:45:49Yeah.

00:45:50You said that's...

00:45:51You know what I mean?

00:45:51Touche, my friend.

00:45:52Yeah.

00:45:52And you know who it is?

00:45:53Yeah.

00:45:54Who?

00:45:55That's one of your coworkers.

00:45:57Oh.

00:45:57Who?

00:45:58Sorry.

00:45:58It's your boss.

00:46:00My boss?

00:46:00Ed Deloitte.

00:46:02Deloitte.

00:46:03Deloitte.

00:46:03Ed Deloitte?

00:46:04It was Ed Deloitte?

00:46:05Ed Deloitte is having sex with Marge.

00:46:09Hey, Marge.

00:46:10It's me, Ted Deloitte.

00:46:12Hey, Bobby.

00:46:15Consulting, consulting.

00:46:18Fuck, Ed.

00:46:19Knock me before you come in.

00:46:20Oh, my dad.

00:46:21It's me, Ted Deloitte.

00:46:21All right.

00:46:22We'll be home by midnight.

00:46:23Okay.

00:46:24All right.

00:46:25All right.

00:46:25So I'll be a pretty cool dad.

00:46:27No?

00:46:28Yeah.

00:46:28Well, what would you do, though, if you found out like your daughter?

00:46:32You were a sugar baby at some point, right?

00:46:34You know, funny story about Deloitte.

00:46:36This one time, I wanted to be a business analyst, and I was talking to this project manager at

00:46:43Deloitte, and I was like, I think I want to learn.

00:46:46And he was like, okay, I'll teach you.

00:46:47So instead of paying you money, you should just do Salesforce modules.

00:46:51And so I would suck his dick, and then he would make me do Deloitte homework.

00:46:55Wow.

00:46:55So you do have a Deloitte history.

00:46:57Yeah, yeah.

00:47:00That knowledge is pricey.

00:47:01Can I ask a question about sugar daddies?

00:47:03Okay.

00:47:04If I may?

00:47:04How much money does one need to be a sugar daddy?

00:47:07Like, he couldn't be one, right?

00:47:08No, he could be.

00:47:09Yeah.

00:47:09But he doesn't have a lot of money, though.

00:47:11I do.

00:47:12Like, how much money do you have just in general?

00:47:16To take her to Disneyland.

00:47:18Okay.

00:47:19That's a good one.

00:47:20That's a good one.

00:47:21Yeah.

00:47:21And that's it.

00:47:22No meal?

00:47:23No parking.

00:47:24No parking?

00:47:25Uber.

00:47:26We Ubered?

00:47:27Uber.

00:47:28So, girl, you can take a girl to Disneyland.

00:47:30Yeah.

00:47:31Uber.

00:47:32Does she get to buy anything there or eat anything?

00:47:35I'll make her pay for the food.

00:47:37That's not a sugar daddy, dude.

00:47:39That's not a sugar daddy.

00:47:39That's not a sugar daddy, Jimmy.

00:47:40What's a sugar daddy?

00:47:41What?

00:47:42A sugar daddy's a guy that's rich and, like, pays for the rent on the apartment and everything.

00:47:46Yeah.

00:47:46It's not my money.

00:47:47It's my dad's money, so.

00:47:48Yeah.

00:47:48We're out of the scene.

00:47:49We've been out of the scene for a very long time.

00:47:51Dude, we ended that a while ago.

00:47:54Dude, he's been in the scene for fucking three minutes ago.

00:47:58That's amazing, dude.

00:47:59You're very good.

00:48:00You're very talented.

00:48:01That is a really good question, though.

00:48:02Like, what are the parameters for being a sugar daddy?

00:48:05Yeah, I've always wondered what that is.

00:48:06I think it's, like, case by case, then, right?

00:48:07I think you might.

00:48:08You could be, like, working at Chipotle, but have, like, poor money management and just

00:48:11want to spend money on bitches instead of whatever.

00:48:14Like, yeah, you could also just be, like, a guy who wants to be, like, there's a kink

00:48:18for financial ruin, right?

00:48:19Like, pay pigs and stuff.

00:48:21Yeah, yeah.

00:48:21They love me.

00:48:23Oh, really?

00:48:24You know what a pay pig is, Bobby?

00:48:25No, yeah.

00:48:26Or do you, like...

00:48:26I don't know.

00:48:27Let me guess.

00:48:27Yeah.

00:48:28A pay pig is this.

00:48:30Somebody that doesn't have a lot of money but is willing to spend every dime on a girl

00:48:34and then he goes into financial ruin.

00:48:37Yeah, it's...

00:48:38That's close.

00:48:38Yeah, yeah.

00:48:38That's close.

00:48:39I would have meetups with these guys in ATMs and they would, like, make me pull...

00:48:44I would have them pull out, like, 200 bucks and they'd be, like, ooh, I'm so hungry and

00:48:48I'd be, like, do you want it back?

00:48:50And they'd be, like, no, what the fuck?

00:48:51Keep going.

00:48:52So, I'd be, like, okay, give me another 200.

00:48:53And then they'd be, like, oh, now I can't go to school.

00:48:56And I'd be, like, do you want it back?

00:48:58And they'd be, like, no, what the fuck?

00:48:59And then I would just keep going until they...

00:49:01Drain them.

00:49:02What?

00:49:02Yeah, until they were milked like little piggies.

00:49:04Well, no, those are cows.

00:49:05And you feel...

00:49:05They're cows.

00:49:06Is there a feeling...

00:49:07You've done that?

00:49:08Yeah.

00:49:08Is there a feeling just, you know, just, you know, is there a feeling of guilt on your

00:49:12part?

00:49:12I think they're role-playing.

00:49:13They're role-playing.

00:49:13Oh, they're role-playing.

00:49:14They're role-playing.

00:49:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:49:15Yeah, the pains are, yeah.

00:49:15This is their kink, yeah.

00:49:16Oh, yeah.

00:49:16Oh, so that's not really their situation.

00:49:18Yeah, yeah.

00:49:19I don't think they were, like, hobos.

00:49:20I think...

00:49:20Oh, go, go, go.

00:49:21Okay, okay.

00:49:22Oh, that's a fun...

00:49:23I could do that game.

00:49:25But I know that there are some men, though, that actually go into financial ruin with, like, families

00:49:30and stuff because that is...

00:49:32They're so, like, obsessed with...

00:49:34But what do they get...

00:49:35If they're not getting any action out of it, what are they really getting out of it?

00:49:38I mean, they're paying a beautiful, beautiful girl.

00:49:40Yeah.

00:49:41It's so sad to me.

00:49:42Is it not, Jim?

00:49:43No, it is sad.

00:49:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:49:45How much would you charge to come to my family's barbecue?

00:49:51Is it Jaime or Jim?

00:49:53I don't know who it is.

00:49:54Who are you?

00:49:54Yeah, it doesn't matter.

00:49:55Yeah, you're Jaime?

00:49:56I would go for free.

00:49:57For real?

00:49:58But he lives in Texas.

00:49:59Oh.

00:50:00Well, if you fly me out.

00:50:01I got enough points, I think.

00:50:04Okay, so if I'm in Texas...

00:50:06Be real.

00:50:07Let's be real.

00:50:07Okay.

00:50:08I'm in Texas, okay?

00:50:10I call you and I go, listen, come to the barbecue.

00:50:12I'll buy you first class, okay, ticket?

00:50:15Yeah.

00:50:15Right?

00:50:16And you can stay at the nicest hotel, okay?

00:50:18Would you come?

00:50:19Do we get a selfie?

00:50:21You and I?

00:50:21Yeah.

00:50:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:22Like, and you're Bobby Lee.

00:50:23Yeah, I'm here playing my...

00:50:24But I'm consuming.

00:50:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:25But it's all...

00:50:26It's strictly as a friend.

00:50:28You would do it?

00:50:29I do it for free.

00:50:30You would do...

00:50:30No, I know, but I buy you those things.

00:50:32But if you were going to pull out your genitals, I think that would...

00:50:35Okay, so what do you mean?

00:50:37I mean, the price goes up if you pull out the genitals.

00:50:41Even if you just pull it out for a second, there's like a...

00:50:44How much is that?

00:50:45That should be like an extra $500.

00:50:48Yes, maybe more.

00:50:49Just looking at it?

00:50:50Even if I see it in the periphery, you have to pay me.

00:50:53$500?

00:50:54Yeah.

00:50:54Snitches get stitches.

00:50:55Oh, okay, okay, okay.

00:50:57So, um, that's expensive.

00:50:59So then, and then, how about if you...

00:51:00How about if you've...

00:51:01Hey, just twack it like that.

00:51:03Yeah, how much is that?

00:51:04If you like pull it out and jerk off, like...

00:51:05No, not jerk off, but you twack it with your finger.

00:51:08Oh, that's...

00:51:09That's a lot.

00:51:10Yeah, that's a lot.

00:51:10How much is that?

00:51:11You're going into like...

00:51:12How much is that?

00:51:13That's like a kinky move.

00:51:14Like, I'd rather just have...

00:51:15A thousand dollars?

00:51:16I'd rather just have like raw doggy style.

00:51:18Well, I'd rather that...

00:51:19I think I'd rather have that dude.

00:51:20Yeah, yeah.

00:51:21If I think about it.

00:51:21Twack your...

00:51:22There's a twack or doggy style.

00:51:23I think doggy style, maybe.

00:51:24I don't know, you know?

00:51:26Let's go back to Christian stuff.

00:51:27Christian stuff.

00:51:28Yeah, yeah, let's get away from that.

00:51:29George is like, oh my God, yeah.

00:51:30He's freaking out because of the doxing, but okay.

00:51:32The doxing?

00:51:33The doxing?

00:51:34I don't know.

00:51:35I don't know what the word means.

00:51:36I've just been throwing it out there.

00:51:36He's getting a laugh, so I just keep saying it.

00:51:39You know what I mean?

00:51:39Did you see Furiosa?

00:51:41No.

00:51:42Do you watch any...

00:51:42What's the last movie you saw?

00:51:43I saw this weird one in Cannes, which was European and strange.

00:51:47Okay, what was it called?

00:51:48I don't know.

00:51:48It was European.

00:51:50But you were in Cannes just recently?

00:51:51Yeah, yeah.

00:51:52Why?

00:51:52Oh, nice.

00:51:52I wanted to see what parties I could get into using the gift of Gab.

00:51:57Oh, how'd you go?

00:51:59That is so interesting because a lot of the super...

00:52:02All the hot girls are in Cannes, right?

00:52:04Well, they're selling vagina.

00:52:06Yeah.

00:52:06Not me.

00:52:07Do you know how Cannes works, Bobby?

00:52:10It is a film festival, yes.

00:52:11It's...

00:52:11The backdrop of that is yachts and selling vagina.

00:52:16What do you mean selling?

00:52:17Like the popcorn?

00:52:18What are you talking about?

00:52:19Will you explain to me?

00:52:20Like you're...

00:52:21Hey, bada, bada, bada.

00:52:22I got popcorn.

00:52:23It can be like that.

00:52:24Whatever.

00:52:25Yeah.

00:52:25You're peddling pussy, but like on the high end.

00:52:28Here's how...

00:52:29I'm honest, guys.

00:52:30I'm really bad at it.

00:52:31I don't know.

00:52:32I don't even...

00:52:33I can't read it.

00:52:34I don't know if somebody's just being nice or they're peddling pussy.

00:52:37Like, I wouldn't be able to know the difference, I don't think.

00:52:39Either way, you're like...

00:52:40I looked at them in the elevator and they go, hello.

00:52:42I go, oh, hi.

00:52:43Like, how do I know that they're peddling pussy?

00:52:46When they're like, that was $5,000?

00:52:49For saying hello?

00:52:50No, like after you've done your...

00:52:52No, what I'm saying before, like if...

00:52:54Look, I'm at Cannes, okay?

00:52:56Let's say I'm at Cannes.

00:52:57I'm promoting Death and Ramen Part 2.

00:52:59Yeah.

00:53:00Okay?

00:53:01And I'm like...

00:53:02And then I'm at a party.

00:53:03How do I read if a girl is peddling or not?

00:53:06If she's really, really hot.

00:53:10Keep going, keep going.

00:53:12Keep going, keep going.

00:53:14What?

00:53:14If she's really hot?

00:53:15Like really, like so hot.

00:53:17It wouldn't make any sense, you know?

00:53:19Yeah, yeah.

00:53:22Okay, stop it.

00:53:23Stop it.

00:53:25Kazumi, I don't know who you think you're talking to.

00:53:28But I've had really hot girls say hi.

00:53:29No, no, I'm sure.

00:53:30Yeah, yeah.

00:53:31So I don't know what you're accusing me of.

00:53:32No, like if they're like super, super, super hot.

00:53:35Super hot.

00:53:36But like, you know what I'm talking about?

00:53:37A level, a level I've never had before.

00:53:39Elle McPherson.

00:53:41Okay.

00:53:41Like Emrata.

00:53:42Like Emrata, yeah.

00:53:43That's a great example.

00:53:45I have to be honest.

00:53:46The girl that I'm seeing right now is that level, I think.

00:53:49Emrata.

00:53:49Pretty hot.

00:53:50I believe you.

00:53:51Is she Asian?

00:53:52No.

00:53:52Oh.

00:53:52White.

00:53:53Jules said the Asian girl was like stunning.

00:53:56Yeah, so what I'm saying, I'm at a certain level, probably not peddling at level.

00:54:03At Cannes, but let's talk to me in a real way, you know?

00:54:06But you're so funny.

00:54:09Wait, so how was your experience at Cannes?

00:54:11Like you were just going to see how many parties you could get into.

00:54:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:54:15And how was it?

00:54:16Were you successful?

00:54:17I got into like three.

00:54:19Did you see any celebrities?

00:54:20I saw Victoria Justice.

00:54:22Never heard of that.

00:54:23Victorious?

00:54:24I don't know.

00:54:25What is it?

00:54:26She's like a Nickelodeon.

00:54:28Yeah.

00:54:29Oh.

00:54:29She's like a Dan Schneider baby.

00:54:30Oh, she is.

00:54:32Is that a star?

00:54:33No.

00:54:33She's huge.

00:54:34Oh, she is?

00:54:35Okay, okay, okay.

00:54:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:54:36What do you think?

00:54:37Yeah.

00:54:38Okay.

00:54:39Maybe not for your, you wouldn't know.

00:54:40Well, to me, a star would be George Clooney.

00:54:43Oh.

00:54:44I saw George Clooney.

00:54:45That would be like at a party with George Clooney.

00:54:46I saw Adrian Brody.

00:54:48He's big.

00:54:48Okay, there you are.

00:54:49There we go.

00:54:50The piano.

00:54:50There we go.

00:54:51Now we're talking.

00:54:52You probably saw his nose first.

00:54:54No.

00:54:54Okay.

00:54:56Nice.

00:54:57You see the nose in a room and then you turn around.

00:54:58Oh, that's him.

00:54:59Okay.

00:54:59All right.

00:55:00The guys with big noses are like.

00:55:02They're so hot.

00:55:03So.

00:55:03Ah, bo-bye-bye.

00:55:05So good.

00:55:05Yeah, flat noses are good too, you know?

00:55:08Right, guys?

00:55:09Yeah.

00:55:10Come on.

00:55:11Yeah, yeah.

00:55:11Flat nose, right?

00:55:12No.

00:55:13Do I have a big nose?

00:55:15No?

00:55:16Do I have a big nose?

00:55:17Anyway, so you're in an open relationship with this guy.

00:55:21Are you in love or no?

00:55:22Yeah, I'm so in love.

00:55:23Yeah, and then a marriage or no?

00:55:25Yeah, one day.

00:55:26Really?

00:55:26With him?

00:55:27Yeah, with the same guy.

00:55:28You know for sure.

00:55:29We've been together since 2019, yeah.

00:55:31Oh.

00:55:32We're legit.

00:55:32Legit.

00:55:33We're serious now.

00:55:33Did you guys start off open?

00:55:35Yeah, we always started open.

00:55:36Yeah.

00:55:36I never wanted monogamy.

00:55:38But do you guys talk about like the people you've fucked up with or no?

00:55:41Yeah.

00:55:42I mean, I like to hear it.

00:55:43He doesn't like to hear it from me.

00:55:45But you like to hear it from him.

00:55:46Yeah, he likes to know the facts.

00:55:47Like he likes to know like, okay, you fucked five guys.

00:55:50Thanks for letting me know.

00:55:53Oh, wow.

00:55:54And what's the situation like when you come back home?

00:55:56Is it like?

00:55:58Cuddles?

00:55:59I mean, of course.

00:56:00They're in a relationship.

00:56:01Yeah, we're in love.

00:56:02But is it like, that's just the information?

00:56:05Does he need to know where you are like safety wise?

00:56:07Yeah, I'll tell him where I'm at.

00:56:08Yeah.

00:56:08I like when he fucks other girls, I like to hear like every detail, like the back shots

00:56:13and the curvature and everything.

00:56:15Yeah, that makes sense to me.

00:56:16That's pretty hot.

00:56:16I like to know if they're hotter.

00:56:18I just can only be intimate with one person at a time.

00:56:22Yeah, that makes sense.

00:56:23You know, it's like sharing something with one person and I want to give them and hopefully

00:56:27I get everything from them too.

00:56:29It's just sharing intimacy.

00:56:31I just, I can't do it because my fear would be this.

00:56:35Okay.

00:56:35Is, is that your guy, right?

00:56:38Don't you have this fear?

00:56:39And then he starts having feelings for somebody.

00:56:42Oh, we're allowed to have like crushes and stuff.

00:56:45Yeah, but what if he falls in love with somebody?

00:56:47That's okay.

00:56:48Then you wouldn't have two girlfriends.

00:56:50Oh, it's heaven.

00:56:53That's what you're saying.

00:56:54Heaven.

00:56:55Just keep going.

00:56:55Oh, the best scenario out there.

00:56:59See, George, you're doing it wrong.

00:57:01You really are doing it with the kids.

00:57:03You know what I mean?

00:57:04Maybe if, wow, that's interesting.

00:57:06But if it's not in your like nature,

00:57:08like you cannot force like ethical non-monogamy.

00:57:11If it just doesn't sit right with you,

00:57:13you can't force yourself into that situation.

00:57:16Like if you're just somebody who like loves one-on-one

00:57:18and it makes you feel safe,

00:57:20it makes you feel grounded,

00:57:22your nervous system can't handle the other stuff,

00:57:26then you shouldn't get into it.

00:57:27I think if I just don't ask,

00:57:29I think I could be fine with it.

00:57:31I just wouldn't want to know.

00:57:32But you don't want to white knuckle it either.

00:57:34Like you guys seem like you're very comfortable in it.

00:57:37You've been doing it a long time.

00:57:38I like to know the information.

00:57:39Like I feel like it'd be weird

00:57:40if like we hung out with a bunch of girls

00:57:42and then like you fucked all of them

00:57:43and I didn't know.

00:57:44Like I should know.

00:57:44You know what's so funny?

00:57:45That's my fear too.

00:57:46I don't want to be the not knowing person in the room.

00:57:52Yeah, I like to know the sense.

00:57:54Yeah.

00:57:54Let's see.

00:57:55But here's what I wouldn't want either.

00:57:56It's like,

00:57:57hey,

00:57:58I know it's last minute

00:57:59but I have to go to this event

00:58:01and can you,

00:58:02and she's like,

00:58:02no,

00:58:02I'm with,

00:58:02you know what I mean,

00:58:03Natron.

00:58:04Right?

00:58:05And then I'm like,

00:58:05whose name is Natron?

00:58:07Whoever.

00:58:07You know what I mean?

00:58:08It's a name.

00:58:09Finnegan.

00:58:09I'm with Finnegan.

00:58:10You know what I mean?

00:58:11Yeah.

00:58:11I'm like,

00:58:12oh,

00:58:12okay.

00:58:13We'll have fun.

00:58:14That would break my heart.

00:58:15Yeah,

00:58:15but also,

00:58:16why didn't you tell me sooner about the event?

00:58:18I said it was last minute.

00:58:19And how,

00:58:20what's the event?

00:58:22The Cants Film Festival.

00:58:25Sundance.

00:58:25That's a twitching.

00:58:26Sundance.

00:58:27Sundance, man.

00:58:27Are you in the film?

00:58:29Yeah.

00:58:29Okay,

00:58:29then I'm there.

00:58:30Natron,

00:58:31sorry.

00:58:31Like,

00:58:31I love you.

00:58:32You're my priority.

00:58:33Like,

00:58:33we're in this relationship together.

00:58:35So would you do that?

00:58:36Yeah.

00:58:36You would cut whoever you're with

00:58:37and go back to.

00:58:39Wait,

00:58:39what's the scenario?

00:58:40Like,

00:58:40you have like a cool,

00:58:41film festival.

00:58:43All right,

00:58:44so you're with that,

00:58:45so you met an Asian guy.

00:58:46Yeah,

00:58:46I love him.

00:58:47You love him.

00:58:48Can we give him the name?

00:58:49I don't want his real name.

00:58:50Cho.

00:58:52Cho?

00:58:53Cho.

00:58:54It's like an Asian guy.

00:58:54Okay,

00:58:55yeah,

00:58:55right,

00:58:55right.

00:58:56So Cho,

00:58:57you're with Cho.

00:58:59He's a doctor.

00:59:00Okay.

00:59:01Holy shit.

00:59:02You're Cho the doctor.

00:59:03Dr. Cho.

00:59:04You're with Dr. Cho.

00:59:05And you're at his penthouse.

00:59:07Love it.

00:59:09There's candles,

00:59:11right?

00:59:11And you're here.

00:59:14You know what I mean?

00:59:15What is that?

00:59:16What is that?

00:59:17Probably you're something,

00:59:18someone wet or something.

00:59:19I don't know.

00:59:19You guys are ready.

00:59:20You guys are ready.

00:59:21Ready,

00:59:21ready,

00:59:21ready.

00:59:21I'm sorry.

00:59:22But anyway,

00:59:23and then all of a sudden,

00:59:24you know what I mean?

00:59:24Doug,

00:59:25let's just call the guy that,

00:59:27you know,

00:59:27your boyfriend.

00:59:28Oh.

00:59:28Doug calls like,

00:59:29yo,

00:59:30you know,

00:59:31you got to be here at this party right now.

00:59:33It's very important because,

00:59:34you know,

00:59:35would you leave Dr. Cho?

00:59:37Can Doug give me like 30 minutes?

00:59:40Yeah,

00:59:41what's 30 minutes?

00:59:42Yeah,

00:59:42seems fair.

00:59:42It might be true.

00:59:43Right,

00:59:44Jim?

00:59:44Right,

00:59:45son?

00:59:46That sounds fair,

00:59:47right?

00:59:47That sounds fair to that.

00:59:47Yeah,

00:59:47yeah.

00:59:48You're giving me such a last minute notice.

00:59:51Right.

00:59:51You got to let me finish.

00:59:53But like,

00:59:53if Dr. Cho's like me though,

00:59:55right,

00:59:55I like to take my time.

00:59:57I'll tell Dr. Cho to,

00:59:59you know,

00:59:59like hurry up a little.

01:00:01Oh,

01:00:01all right.

01:00:02Or he could just give me like head.

01:00:04Eat you out.

01:00:05And then I can go.

01:00:06All right,

01:00:06what?

01:00:07You want to come?

01:00:08Yeah.

01:00:08Okay.

01:00:09Interesting.

01:00:10Interesting.

01:00:11Okay,

01:00:11good.

01:00:11It's my right.

01:00:12It's your right as a citizen.

01:00:13As a woman.

01:00:14And as a citizen.

01:00:15American citizen.

01:00:16United States.

01:00:17Yeah,

01:00:17yeah,

01:00:17yeah.

01:00:17You're not an American citizen?

01:00:19Yes.

01:00:20Okay,

01:00:20okay.

01:00:20Whoa.

01:00:21Whoa,

01:00:22there was a pause.

01:00:23Whoa,

01:00:24whoa,

01:00:25I'd be nervous.

01:00:26Do you ever,

01:00:26do you ever,

01:00:27do you have dreams of doing mainstream stuff like movies and being an actress and stuff?

01:00:30I think it'd be cool.

01:00:31Yeah,

01:00:31that'd be cool,

01:00:31right?

01:00:32I just started doing improv at Brownlings.

01:00:34Oh,

01:00:35whoa.

01:00:35Whoa.

01:00:36I think it'd be great.

01:00:37Yeah.

01:00:38Yeah.

01:00:38I think it'd be funny.

01:00:39Stand up?

01:00:40Ever?

01:00:40I don't think I could do stand up.

01:00:41Oh,

01:00:41okay.

01:00:42I once did a stand up.

01:00:43I used to work at a Japanese themed maid cafe where we would do a talent show at the end

01:00:47of it and they would auction this off to guys afterwards.

01:00:50And how does that work?

01:00:51Can you start?

01:00:51Sorry though.

01:00:53So it was a Japanese what?

01:00:54That you worked at?

01:00:55A Japanese themed maid cafe.

01:00:56Okay.

01:00:57Yeah,

01:00:57yeah.

01:00:57When my talent was doing a stand up routine of me faking an orgasm.

01:01:01Uh-huh.

01:01:01Which is me like just fake orgasming for like an extended period of time.

01:01:07And then they would auction you off after?

01:01:09Mm-hmm.

01:01:09Based on your performance?

01:01:11Yeah,

01:01:11if they thought I was funny.

01:01:13Oh,

01:01:13funny.

01:01:13And who are like the auctioneers?

01:01:15Like who,

01:01:15who's like,

01:01:16what,

01:01:16what is the demographic of people they're like actually paying?

01:01:20Cloud looking for a job.

01:01:21Asian people.

01:01:22Really?

01:01:23Yeah,

01:01:23we're at the anime convention.

01:01:25Oh,

01:01:25that makes sense.

01:01:26It's the anime convention.

01:01:27Yeah,

01:01:27yeah.

01:01:27Whoa.

01:01:29I love Attack on Titan.

01:01:31Okay.

01:01:35That's like really cool.

01:01:36I'm not familiar with it.

01:01:38You don't know Attack on Titan?

01:01:39No,

01:01:39I know the big people.

01:01:41And then the other people are so small.

01:01:42Yeah,

01:01:43yeah,

01:01:43yeah.

01:01:44Yeah,

01:01:44yeah.

01:01:45I mean,

01:01:45if the big people are big,

01:01:46we just assume that the other people are small.

01:01:49Because if they're the same height,

01:01:50then they wouldn't be,

01:01:51the other ones wouldn't be big.

01:01:52Yeah.

01:01:53Okay.

01:01:55But Attack on Titan would be,

01:01:57because I was pitching,

01:01:58like I was talking to some anime guy that like,

01:02:00he owns a lot of IP rights to,

01:02:02you know what I mean,

01:02:04anime shows.

01:02:05Yeah.

01:02:05He doesn't have that one,

01:02:06but I was like,

01:02:07what a great TV show that would be.

01:02:10Don't you think?

01:02:10Like,

01:02:11Attack on Titan?

01:02:11Yes,

01:02:11yes.

01:02:12Oh my God.

01:02:12It's so hard to,

01:02:13I think.

01:02:14I think we have the technology to do it now.

01:02:15Yeah.

01:02:16To be big and small at the same time.

01:02:18After Ant-Man,

01:02:19I think we can do it now.

01:02:20Oh yeah.

01:02:21Yeah.

01:02:23Don't you think?

01:02:23I mean,

01:02:23Ant-Man did it.

01:02:24Yeah.

01:02:25So how hard could it be?

01:02:26I don't know.

01:02:26It's just such a beloved series.

01:02:30Yeah,

01:02:30you have to do it right.

01:02:31And you would have to nail it.

01:02:32You'd have to nail it in the head,

01:02:34my friend.

01:02:34I know.

01:02:35And who would play Mikasa?

01:02:37Dude,

01:02:37you know the names,

01:02:38huh?

01:02:38I don't know,

01:02:39but casting,

01:02:39first of all,

01:02:40let's write the story.

01:02:40We cast later.

01:02:41Okay,

01:02:42that's true.

01:02:43I feel like that's very important

01:02:44because people really do like

01:02:45start to hate on who you cast,

01:02:48right?

01:02:48Yeah.

01:02:49Well,

01:02:49you know,

01:02:49I have an animated show.

01:02:51Would you do a voice on it?

01:02:52Oh,

01:02:52hell yeah.

01:02:52That'd be fun,

01:02:53huh?

01:02:53Everyone here is going to get a call

01:02:54to do a voice,

01:02:55by the way.

01:02:56Yes.

01:02:57Not you,

01:02:58Alex.

01:03:00Yeah,

01:03:00and EJ's going to cost $100.

01:03:01I'm not going to do it.

01:03:03You know what I mean?

01:03:05And you live in LA?

01:03:07Yeah,

01:03:07downtown.

01:03:08Can we be friends or no?

01:03:09We are friends.

01:03:09No,

01:03:09we're not yet.

01:03:10I follow you.

01:03:11We're not friends yet.

01:03:12And you don't follow me.

01:03:13Oh,

01:03:13oh shit.

01:03:14But you're on my close friends.

01:03:16Really?

01:03:16Yeah.

01:03:17I'll follow you now.

01:03:18Wait,

01:03:19what are the rules for your close friends?

01:03:21I go apeshit.

01:03:22You don't report me.

01:03:24Oh,

01:03:25I see.

01:03:25Kazumi's world?

01:03:26Uh-uh.

01:03:28Kazumi's world.

01:03:29How about to solidify the friendship?

01:03:30I follow you.

01:03:31I think I follow you.

01:03:31You guys should all share one intimate fact about yourself to the other person.

01:03:35Intimate.

01:03:36Like how intimate?

01:03:37Like your heart.

01:03:38Your heart.

01:03:39Something.

01:03:39Vulnerability.

01:03:43Which one is it?

01:03:44Oh,

01:03:44I'm like super,

01:03:46I'm super shadow man because I'm a naughty girl.

01:03:50Is it verified?

01:03:52Follow back.

01:03:53Yeah,

01:03:54I'm a blue check.

01:03:54I'm important.

01:03:56One million.

01:03:57Whoa.

01:03:58That's one million jerker offers.

01:04:00You already did the following?

01:04:02One million and one.

01:04:03Yeah.

01:04:03Okay.

01:04:04It's too late.

01:04:05Oh,

01:04:05you are shadow band.

01:04:06I know.

01:04:07So shadow band.

01:04:07What does shadow band mean?

01:04:08It's like when you-

01:04:09You have to type out the whole name,

01:04:10right?

01:04:10Yeah.

01:04:10I'm exiled.

01:04:11But so are all the biggest names,

01:04:14like Angela White.

01:04:15She's shadow band.

01:04:17You've done a scene with her,

01:04:18right?

01:04:18Yeah.

01:04:18You want to know something?

01:04:19So my boyfriend,

01:04:20his job last year was making long form content into short form content.

01:04:24So he was in charge of making Angela White's like short form out of your guys' podcast.

01:04:30So we like listened to that podcast like 72 times.

01:04:33God,

01:04:33we love her so much.

01:04:34I love her.

01:04:35I showed her my butthole.

01:04:36Yes.

01:04:37You did show her your butthole.

01:04:38Is that like a thing you do with gas?

01:04:40No,

01:04:40I don't.

01:04:40No.

01:04:40It was the first time and every time.

01:04:42No,

01:04:42you showed it to Miss Pat.

01:04:44Oh yeah,

01:04:44Miss Pat.

01:04:45Was there something wrong with it?

01:04:46Or was it-

01:04:46No,

01:04:47it's-

01:04:47It's just shockingly beautiful.

01:04:49Oh,

01:04:50please see?

01:04:50No,

01:04:51no,

01:04:51you don't deserve it yet.

01:04:52You don't deserve it.

01:04:53Your attitude stinks.

01:04:59It really stinks.

01:04:59But my point is,

01:05:00is that I'll show it to you one day.

01:05:02Okay.

01:05:02Oh,

01:05:02did I hurt your feelings?

01:05:03I can show you my butthole.

01:05:05I don't want to see your butthole.

01:05:05Oh,

01:05:06okay.

01:05:06FYI.

01:05:07Oh,

01:05:07sorry.

01:05:07Yeah,

01:05:08yeah.

01:05:09I mean,

01:05:10I'm going to look at it later.

01:05:12Okay.

01:05:12Probably online.

01:05:14Yeah,

01:05:14you can Google it.

01:05:15Can I Google your butthole?

01:05:16Yeah.

01:05:17Yeah,

01:05:17yeah,

01:05:17yeah.

01:05:17Do it.

01:05:18No,

01:05:18no,

01:05:18I don't want to.

01:05:19Yeah,

01:05:19I'll do it later in my private,

01:05:20private quarter.

01:05:21You've seen my butthole,

01:05:23right?

01:05:24I feel like you took this guy.

01:05:25All right.

01:05:26Wait,

01:05:26wait,

01:05:26you follow her?

01:05:27I've seen your butthole,

01:05:28Kazumi.

01:05:28Oh,

01:05:34have you seen her OnlyFans?

01:05:35Hey,

01:05:36my family watches this.

01:05:37Have you?

01:05:38Yeah,

01:05:39you have.

01:05:39So you've seen her butthole?

01:05:41Yes.

01:05:43Sorry,

01:05:44mom.

01:05:44Oh,

01:05:44let me ask you this.

01:05:45Jess.

01:05:46Jess.

01:05:48Good butthole?

01:05:49Yeah,

01:05:50it's good.

01:05:50Yeah,

01:05:50yeah.

01:05:50I want to bleach it.

01:05:52Oh,

01:05:52yeah?

01:05:52Yeah.

01:05:52That'd be cool.

01:05:53Yeah,

01:05:53yeah.

01:05:53Wait,

01:05:55is Pornhub still banned in Texas,

01:05:56or did they overturn that?

01:05:58No,

01:05:58you can't watch Pornhub.

01:06:00Damn,

01:06:00what are you doing these days?

01:06:02VR,

01:06:03I have a VR set now.

01:06:04Oh,

01:06:04you watch Pornhub or VR?

01:06:05I can't still,

01:06:06no.

01:06:07Okay.

01:06:07But VR,

01:06:08you should get a VR.

01:06:09I haven't done VR yet.

01:06:10It's pretty cool.

01:06:11Like an Oculus?

01:06:11Mm-hmm.

01:06:12Yeah,

01:06:12I have that.

01:06:13Yeah.

01:06:13What's so good about it?

01:06:14It's cool.

01:06:15You're like on a bridge.

01:06:17I have it with me.

01:06:18I take it everywhere with me.

01:06:20He just does the bridge thing.

01:06:22My friend got banned from Southwest for jerking off on the plane.

01:06:26Oh,

01:06:26oh,

01:06:26yeah.

01:06:26I don't do that.

01:06:27I mean,

01:06:27yeah.

01:06:28No,

01:06:28well,

01:06:28he had like a-

01:06:28Anyway.

01:06:31Really?

01:06:31Yeah,

01:06:32he had,

01:06:32well,

01:06:32he had the body torso thing.

01:06:35Oh,

01:06:35really?

01:06:36I mean,

01:06:36that seems a little warranted.

01:06:37That's on your mind.

01:06:37Yeah,

01:06:38yeah.

01:06:38Like the headless,

01:06:39armless one.

01:06:39Oh,

01:06:40yeah.

01:06:40How much are those?

01:06:41Like 500.

01:06:42Oh,

01:06:42that's it?

01:06:42Depending on body and texture.

01:06:44Yeah.

01:06:44That's actually a lot cheaper than I thought.

01:06:46Yeah,

01:06:46I think I want to up my masturbation game because the ring is worn out.

01:06:50The-

01:06:50I have a flashlight.

01:06:51I don't want to,

01:06:52I don't,

01:06:52the fleshlights don't work for me.

01:06:53I have a fleshlight in my butthole also.

01:06:55That may be.

01:06:57Somewhere.

01:06:57No,

01:06:58what I'm saying is that I need a torso thing,

01:07:00I think.

01:07:01Do they really take like an exact mold or is it just like kind of sort of?

01:07:05Yeah,

01:07:05yeah,

01:07:05I've logged it on Pornhub.

01:07:06It was,

01:07:07if they like actually mold your vagina.

01:07:09From the,

01:07:09okay,

01:07:09that makes sense.

01:07:11But you're not a fleshlight guy.

01:07:12No,

01:07:13I think I want to try a torso situation.

01:07:15Try,

01:07:16yeah,

01:07:16why not?

01:07:17Like what,

01:07:18like how big would the boobs?

01:07:19It's not about the boobs.

01:07:20I just need vibration.

01:07:21Oh,

01:07:22like you need to see the jiggle?

01:07:24Yeah,

01:07:24the jiggle.

01:07:25No,

01:07:25I like vibra-

01:07:26I don't know why,

01:07:26like,

01:07:28what are you looking at,

01:07:28man?

01:07:29What?

01:07:30Yeah,

01:07:30so you like the Hitachi wand?

01:07:31No,

01:07:31I like when,

01:07:32I like when it's like,

01:07:33I use my penis more like a clitoris and I,

01:07:37I like vibration on it.

01:07:38It really turns me on.

01:07:40If you put your penis in a chastity cage and then you get fucked in the ass,

01:07:43you'll have a lot more internal orgasms.

01:07:45Totally.

01:07:46Why don't we try that?

01:07:48That's all biotransmit.

01:07:49Bobby,

01:07:49that's how you and I reunite.

01:07:53Okay,

01:07:53anyway,

01:07:55thank you so much.

01:07:56You're so welcome.

01:07:57Do you have a podcast?

01:07:58No.

01:07:58You should get one.

01:07:59Oh my gosh.

01:08:00I can see her.

01:08:01Her and Angela would have a good one.

01:08:02Yeah,

01:08:03you guys would.

01:08:03You should have one.

01:08:04I think you can do it.

01:08:05You're funny.

01:08:05Angela gave me and my boyfriend our first raw threesome.

01:08:08Wait,

01:08:08your first threesome?

01:08:09Our first raw threesome.

01:08:11What's a raw threesome?

01:08:12Like a no condoms.

01:08:13No condom.

01:08:14Oh.

01:08:14Just a real,

01:08:15well,

01:08:15we were having trouble finding a guy to have a threesome with us.

01:08:18Yeah.

01:08:19So we called him.

01:08:19On tape or just?

01:08:20Just on a scheduled day.

01:08:22Like we were supposed,

01:08:23we had a threesome schedule.

01:08:23But you're not going to film it?

01:08:24No,

01:08:25we filmed it.

01:08:25But it was like at this time at 4 p.m.

01:08:27I mean,

01:08:28I could be a volunteer.

01:08:29We need more Asian representation.

01:08:31Yeah,

01:08:31yeah,

01:08:31yeah.

01:08:31How about this?

01:08:32We do a one without films.

01:08:34We'll do rehearsal.

01:08:36You guys rehearse,

01:08:37right?

01:08:37Yeah.

01:08:37I need to practice.

01:08:38We have sex though.

01:08:39blocking.

01:08:39I need blocking.

01:08:41But I'm method,

01:08:42so it has to be the real thing.

01:08:42Genuinely,

01:08:43Bobby,

01:08:43I think that you would be like Kazumi and be like a 0.01 performer,

01:08:48top performer.

01:08:49Do people want to see your butthole?

01:08:50I think so.

01:08:51I think the demand for you is so high right now.

01:08:54so if people stick things in my butthole,

01:08:58no penises,

01:08:58but like objects.

01:08:59Yeah.

01:09:00That would be the end of my Hollywood career.

01:09:02I don't think so.

01:09:03I don't think so.

01:09:04There's so much crossover now.

01:09:06People are understanding the landscape.

01:09:07I don't want to test out those waterfalls.

01:09:10I do not think so.

01:09:11I'm like the future.

01:09:12Right.

01:09:12You are a future.

01:09:13We're all future.

01:09:14All of,

01:09:15sweetie,

01:09:16like you have girls like Chloe Cherry who does,

01:09:18who's in Euphoria.

01:09:19She's like a beloved actress,

01:09:21but also a porn girl.

01:09:22I'm telling you right now.

01:09:23But have you done reverse,

01:09:24reverse somebody that was more mainstream and then went there?

01:09:27When have you ever been mainstream?

01:09:29You've always been kind of irreverent.

01:09:31I couldn't make it.

01:09:31I didn't make it.

01:09:32I didn't make it.

01:09:32So all I'm saying is.

01:09:34You're right.

01:09:34Okay.

01:09:35So anyway,

01:09:36Kasumi,

01:09:37I had a pleasure talking to you.

01:09:39Did you have fun tonight?

01:09:40I had so much fun.

01:09:41I thought it went well,

01:09:42don't you think?

01:09:43Yeah.

01:09:43That the scenario was fun.

01:09:45Very good.

01:09:47You know,

01:09:47we,

01:09:48next time you come on,

01:09:48cause we want you to have it back on,

01:09:50but let's try to stay away.

01:09:51Let's talk about other things.

01:09:53Yeah.

01:09:53About like foods.

01:09:54There's so much about you I want to know.

01:09:55There's some foods.

01:09:57Like food?

01:09:59Yeah.

01:10:00Like foods and other things.

01:10:01So,

01:10:01you know,

01:10:02is it Jody?

01:10:02Yeah.

01:10:03All right.

01:10:04So let's switch.

01:10:05No,

01:10:06stay here.

01:10:06Stay here.

01:10:07Can you stay here?

01:10:08Yeah.

01:10:08Hi.

01:10:10She's promoting her special.

01:10:12Oh my gosh.

01:10:12Hot girl.

01:10:13Yeah.

01:10:13Jody,

01:10:14hi.

01:10:14Sit down,

01:10:14please.

01:10:15How are you?

01:10:16How are you?

01:10:16Kazumi.

01:10:17Kazumi.

01:10:17Nice to meet you.

01:10:18Yeah.

01:10:19And Jaime's gone.

01:10:20How about a round of applause for Jaime?

01:10:21He's gone.

01:10:22Yeah.

01:10:23Yeah.

01:10:25Hi,

01:10:25Bobby.

01:10:26Stay here with us,

01:10:27okay?

01:10:27I'm here.

01:10:28Hi.

01:10:28So I want to introduce our next people that,

01:10:30my friend that's come in.

01:10:33My friend.

01:10:34For years,

01:10:35she used to open for me.

01:10:36Remember?

01:10:36I do.

01:10:37And we did the worst gig we ever did a long time ago.

01:10:41It was at Bananas.

01:10:41Remember that place?

01:10:42Bananas.

01:10:42Oh my God.

01:10:43In New Jersey.

01:10:43And then the host called me Billy Lee.

01:10:45Remember on stage?

01:10:46That's right.

01:10:46Oh God.

01:10:46The host called me Billy Lee.

01:10:47There was nobody in the audience.

01:10:48And at the end of the weekend,

01:10:50the owners came up to me in tears going,

01:10:52if you,

01:10:53they gave me the check.

01:10:54And they go,

01:10:55if you cash this check in,

01:10:57our business is blown.

01:10:58I remember this.

01:10:59Yes.

01:10:59So we cashed the check.

01:11:01No,

01:11:01no.

01:11:02Right.

01:11:02So I said,

01:11:03just give me half the amount.

01:11:04So they gave me half the amount.

01:11:05So I didn't destroy.

01:11:06That's how bad.

01:11:07But you,

01:11:08you've been in the rough spots with me.

01:11:11I have.

01:11:12Can I tell you,

01:11:12we were in Chicago performing and it was like a sec,

01:11:17first show second on Saturday night,

01:11:19the second day.

01:11:20And you were pretty much naked in your underwear,

01:11:24dancing around,

01:11:25dancing around as you do,

01:11:26closing bit.

01:11:27And you fell right off stage.

01:11:29Do you remember that?

01:11:29Yeah,

01:11:29I remember.

01:11:30A comedy club.

01:11:30Yeah.

01:11:31Fell off and I'm off to the wings down,

01:11:33but like a true professional.

01:11:34Yeah.

01:11:34He got right back up.

01:11:36Exactly.

01:11:37Just started shaking his shit.

01:11:38Shake my bubble.

01:11:38I actually was sitting there looking at him as he's shaking his bubble.

01:11:41Yeah.

01:11:41And I'm thinking he's okay.

01:11:44Or I'm headlining the rest.

01:11:47But you know what?

01:11:48Showbiz,

01:11:49you just keep going forward.

01:11:50Keep going.

01:11:50Yeah.

01:11:51And so Jody,

01:11:52you know,

01:11:52we,

01:11:52you know,

01:11:53I've always thought she was one of the funniest people in the world.

01:11:57And she has a special out.

01:11:59I do.

01:12:00Is it on,

01:12:00where's it?

01:12:01It's on YouTube right now.

01:12:02It's called decades in the making.

01:12:03Yeah.

01:12:04Decades in the making.

01:12:05And I also want to talk about Jody because I think you're the first comic to do this,

01:12:10but about your daughter.

01:12:11Yes.

01:12:12Tell us about that experience.

01:12:16I adopted a daughter and yeah,

01:12:19she's hot.

01:12:20She's a really hot baby.

01:12:21How old is she now?

01:12:21She's three and a half.

01:12:22Wasn't it a situation where you're like,

01:12:24hi,

01:12:24we have a baby here.

01:12:26Come tomorrow.

01:12:26basically I had been went on,

01:12:28like I've been trying to get pregnant and then I couldn't get pregnant.

01:12:30And then I was on a wait list for almost two years.

01:12:32And then it was a Sunday night.

01:12:34I was sitting at home.

01:12:35I just finished a podcast.

01:12:36I was eating a bowl of whipped cream,

01:12:38watching the Gilmore girls.

01:12:39Cause that's what you do on Sunday nights,

01:12:41as you know.

01:12:41And then my adoption lawyer called me and I picked up and I just thought he needed some

01:12:45extra,

01:12:46you know,

01:12:47stuff for me.

01:12:48And he just said,

01:12:48you've been selected.

01:12:49And I said,

01:12:50for what?

01:12:50Oh,

01:12:51like a raffle.

01:12:51Yeah.

01:12:52Well,

01:12:52I had sent my stuff in for this birth mom who gave birth,

01:12:56but I've done it so many times.

01:12:58You don't even think about it.

01:12:59It's like an audition.

01:12:59You just sort of just let it go.

01:13:00And he was like,

01:13:01you,

01:13:01you were selected.

01:13:02And I said,

01:13:03for what?

01:13:03And he's like,

01:13:04a baby was born.

01:13:05You were,

01:13:05you were picked and you need to get on a plane tomorrow in the middle of a pandemic.

01:13:10I remember that.

01:13:10I literally remember that.

01:13:11Yes.

01:13:12Middle.

01:13:12Yeah.

01:13:12That was the most traumatic thing,

01:13:13by the way,

01:13:14was going to Kentucky.

01:13:16So traumatic.

01:13:17Is it like a random baby or can you like,

01:13:19or what do you mean?

01:13:20What do you mean by that?

01:13:20Kazumi?

01:13:21Like,

01:13:21is it like Tinder?

01:13:22Like you can choose the baby.

01:13:23You know,

01:13:23it's out.

01:13:24It is.

01:13:24It's not like Tinder.

01:13:26Swipe up.

01:13:2850 babies were born out of one woman.

01:13:30It was like one baby.

01:13:32I get ghosted by so many babies.

01:13:34Yeah.

01:13:35I never call me back.

01:13:38Cause I,

01:13:38it is.

01:13:39Yeah.

01:13:39Very good question.

01:13:40Very good.

01:13:41You do not get to choose.

01:13:42There is.

01:13:43And to answer your question,

01:13:44it is actually,

01:13:45it's so funny that you said that.

01:13:46Cause I,

01:13:46I would refer to that.

01:13:47And I think I did in the special is sort of like being on a dating app because you do

01:13:51put together a packet with pictures of you looking like you've got your shit together and you're trying to match

01:13:57with a birth mother or a birth family and they choose who they want to raise their kids.

01:14:02So it is kind of like that.

01:14:03You're going through that.

01:14:04And then hopefully.

01:14:05Oh,

01:14:05so the mother looked at your photo.

01:14:07She did.

01:14:07That one.

01:14:07Yep.

01:14:08She did.

01:14:08That would be a good mommy.

01:14:09She did.

01:14:10And you know what?

01:14:11I know.

01:14:11I mean,

01:14:12we have an open adoption and she,

01:14:15I send her pictures all the time and we text a lot.

01:14:19And this was her,

01:14:20this is an interesting part of the story.

01:14:23This,

01:14:23my daughter was her 13th pregnancy.

01:14:25And then a year and a half later,

01:14:27she emailed me and told me she was pregnant again.

01:14:29Wow.

01:14:30Again.

01:14:31Again.

01:14:31And wanted me to have the baby.

01:14:33And I was like,

01:14:33I can't be outnumbered.

01:14:35So I,

01:14:36I said,

01:14:37I couldn't,

01:14:37but let me ask around.

01:14:39And two of my very good friends,

01:14:41Jess Golden and her wife adopted my daughter's half brother.

01:14:45Oh my God.

01:14:45And they live around the corner.

01:14:47I'm not even kidding.

01:14:48Oh,

01:14:48I got goosebumps.

01:14:49What a miracle straight from heaven.

01:14:51Yep.

01:14:51So they'll know each other.

01:14:52They do already.

01:14:53Yes.

01:14:53Yeah.

01:14:54He's a year.

01:14:54He's a little,

01:14:55he's a year and a half.

01:14:56And my daughter's three and a half years.

01:14:57Are they,

01:14:57are there get togethers with them?

01:14:59Yes.

01:14:59Oh,

01:14:59good.

01:14:59So they have a relationship already.

01:15:00Yes.

01:15:01And they know that they're siblings.

01:15:02Yes,

01:15:02they do.

01:15:03But I mean,

01:15:03he doesn't really know because I have an older son too,

01:15:06who's also adopted.

01:15:07So there's a five year,

01:15:09you know,

01:15:09he's five and a half.

01:15:10I don't know about the older one.

01:15:11No,

01:15:11he's,

01:15:12no,

01:15:13sometimes they go wrong,

01:15:14right?

01:15:14Anyway,

01:15:15let's move on.

01:15:15I've seen too many movies.

01:15:17She like loves making babies.

01:15:19She is a meth addict.

01:15:20So probably loves making babies.

01:15:22Those are good babies.

01:15:23There are really good babies.

01:15:25She's great babies.

01:15:25Energetic babies.

01:15:27They've got so much energy.

01:15:28They don't so much and they don't eat,

01:15:29but yeah,

01:15:30she's great.

01:15:31She's so low in maintenance.

01:15:32Um,

01:15:32but that's crazy that you were living basically this like single life.

01:15:36Yes.

01:15:36The pandemic.

01:15:37Yes.

01:15:37With no plants,

01:15:38no crib,

01:15:39no car seat,

01:15:40no,

01:15:40nothing.

01:15:40I had no formula,

01:15:42nothing,

01:15:42nothing.

01:15:43And the next day you're off to Kentucky.

01:15:44I'll tell you what,

01:15:45a lot of comics,

01:15:46female comics,

01:15:47Sarah Tiana being one of them.

01:15:48I love her.

01:15:49Stepped right up and Sarah Tiana.

01:15:51Let me just say this.

01:15:52So to say this to her about her,

01:15:54one of the greatest human beings I've ever met in my lifetime.

01:15:57I love her so much.

01:15:58I'm getting emotional about even saying it.

01:16:00It's just great.

01:16:00This is my time though.

01:16:01So I,

01:16:02I,

01:16:02I can't forget.

01:16:03But who else,

01:16:04but who else,

01:16:04who else helped you?

01:16:06Um,

01:16:07I guess some other comics that you probably don't know,

01:16:09but,

01:16:10but they're also really great.

01:16:11They're great.

01:16:12Everybody was great.

01:16:13Everybody was really,

01:16:14they really stepped up and helped me and dropped,

01:16:17you know,

01:16:17everything off.

01:16:18I had nothing,

01:16:19literally nothing.

01:16:19Wow.

01:16:20Wow.

01:16:20With nothing.

01:16:21And my baby was born early.

01:16:24She had meth in her system,

01:16:25but she's healthy.

01:16:26Don't worry.

01:16:27Uh,

01:16:27and she just got a three year chip.

01:16:29Hey,

01:16:31she's doing so well.

01:16:33She's doing really well.

01:16:34And is she,

01:16:35um,

01:16:35I mean,

01:16:36obviously she's three.

01:16:37She's,

01:16:37she knows you as your mother,

01:16:39the mother.

01:16:39She is literally,

01:16:40she goes mama or what she should call you.

01:16:42She calls me mommy,

01:16:42mommy.

01:16:43And then is she a good child?

01:16:44She's a really good child.

01:16:45You know what she said the other day?

01:16:47What?

01:16:47We were just taking a bath and I said Mackenzie,

01:16:51cause that's her name.

01:16:52I go boys have penises and girls have vaginas and mommy has a vagina.

01:16:56So what's mommy?

01:16:57And she goes,

01:16:58super.

01:16:59And I'm like,

01:17:01she knows she is.

01:17:02I'm like,

01:17:02you are so cute.

01:17:04She says,

01:17:04I love you so much.

01:17:06That's what she says.

01:17:06She does.

01:17:07I love you.

01:17:07Oh my God.

01:17:08I love you so much.

01:17:09Do you take her to places?

01:17:10What do you take her?

01:17:11I take her.

01:17:12We just went,

01:17:12where did we go?

01:17:13Farmer's markets.

01:17:13We went to Farmer's market.

01:17:14We went to discovery cube.

01:17:15We go to bars,

01:17:16whatever,

01:17:17whatever I can take.

01:17:17I feel like,

01:17:18I feel like there should,

01:17:19I don't understand.

01:17:20Like I don't have the patience for,

01:17:22I'm not patient.

01:17:23I can't imagine being a parent and taking your kid under five or even under seven to Disneyland.

01:17:28It's like,

01:17:28they don't have a full.

01:17:29Oh yeah.

01:17:30Yeah.

01:17:30They don't even know what Mickey Mouse is.

01:17:31No,

01:17:32she does.

01:17:32Of course they do.

01:17:33She does.

01:17:34Yes,

01:17:34she does.

01:17:35She loves Minnie.

01:17:35Oh,

01:17:36she does.

01:17:36But it's like,

01:17:37it's such a trek.

01:17:37It's so exhausting.

01:17:39It is.

01:17:40Everything is exhausting.

01:17:41Yeah.

01:17:41Going to Rite Aid is exhausting.

01:17:43Going anywhere.

01:17:44Why?

01:17:45Tell me more.

01:17:45Because it takes forever to get them out of the house.

01:17:48It's like,

01:17:49I don't want to go.

01:17:50Not even that.

01:17:51It's like,

01:17:51put your shoes on.

01:17:52That was good.

01:17:53That was a really good impersonation of a three year old.

01:17:55Does the baby look like you?

01:17:57Like,

01:17:57do you see these babies that look realistically like yours?

01:17:59You know,

01:18:00she kind of looks like me,

01:18:01but I think because she mimics my facial expressions.

01:18:03But I love every time you say baby,

01:18:04you get this.

01:18:04Like if I was,

01:18:05if I was your baby,

01:18:07I would be just doing this all day so I can have a skinnier face like yours.

01:18:10I would do that to you too.

01:18:15This is abuse.

01:18:16Yeah.

01:18:16Okay.

01:18:16That's very good.

01:18:17Very good.

01:18:18That's what my mom did.

01:18:19Like we,

01:18:19she was,

01:18:20she grew up with really like ears out.

01:18:22Oh,

01:18:22big ears.

01:18:23And so when my sister and I were born,

01:18:25she like taped our ears back.

01:18:27You can get that.

01:18:27You can get a surgery.

01:18:29Go ahead.

01:18:30No,

01:18:30I was going to ask you something,

01:18:31something personal.

01:18:32Yeah,

01:18:32go ahead.

01:18:34Are you still writing on that show?

01:18:36Yes.

01:18:36What's it called?

01:18:37Funny.

01:18:37You should ask.

01:18:38Okay.

01:18:38I'm going to ask you something very personal about that.

01:18:40Okay.

01:18:41They had me on one time.

01:18:42I know.

01:18:43No,

01:18:43stop.

01:18:44I want you to be very honest.

01:18:45I'm going to be very honest with you.

01:18:46You are?

01:18:47Yes.

01:18:48And I thought I did.

01:18:48Okay.

01:18:49You did great.

01:18:50They never asked me back.

01:18:51I know.

01:18:52Why?

01:18:53I honestly,

01:18:57be honest.

01:18:57I,

01:18:58right now in my life,

01:18:59I want transparency.

01:19:01I want honesty.

01:19:02I can handle anything.

01:19:03That's because.

01:19:04why?

01:19:05He doesn't like me.

01:19:06No,

01:19:06it's because you do a really bad impersonation of a three year old.

01:19:09No,

01:19:09um,

01:19:09it's because honestly,

01:19:11he's never given a reason.

01:19:12And that is the honest truth.

01:19:13So when you came on,

01:19:15yeah,

01:19:15I was the head writer and I was very excited to have you on.

01:19:18And now I'm the executive producer.

01:19:19So I'm even more excited to get you back on.

01:19:22You're not going to get me on.

01:19:23Every time I bring it up,

01:19:24this is exactly what he says.

01:19:26Yes.

01:19:26Love Bobby.

01:19:27Love Bobby.

01:19:27I don't.

01:19:28You've been on comics,

01:19:29unleashed all of it.

01:19:30Yeah.

01:19:30And my point is,

01:19:31is that there's no like,

01:19:32what's up?

01:19:33Like he doesn't understand.

01:19:35He doesn't understand.

01:19:37Listen,

01:19:37I'm not going to stop trying to get you back.

01:19:38I don't want,

01:19:39you know what?

01:19:40This is Byron.

01:19:42Byron Allen.

01:19:43Right.

01:19:44I will never do it.

01:19:45Okay.

01:19:46What?

01:19:47Okay.

01:19:47I will never do it.

01:19:48For real.

01:19:48I want to do it.

01:19:49So,

01:19:49but I will never do it because I'll tell you why.

01:19:52Louie who passed.

01:19:54I love it.

01:19:54Louie.

01:19:55Yeah.

01:19:55Love him.

01:19:56Great.

01:19:56Love it.

01:19:57Still on it.

01:19:58Love him.

01:19:59Great.

01:20:00That's the thing.

01:20:01Everyone on it too are my friends.

01:20:03People I know.

01:20:03Jeff Ross.

01:20:04Whitney.

01:20:04Yeah.

01:20:05Whitney.

01:20:05Everybody.

01:20:05Yeah.

01:20:06Yeah.

01:20:06Is it because,

01:20:07is it the Korean thing?

01:20:10He did say if you were Chinese.

01:20:12What other Asians have done it?

01:20:15I think you're the,

01:20:16oh,

01:20:16Margaret Cho.

01:20:18There you go.

01:20:18Interesting.

01:20:19How many times?

01:20:20Byron,

01:20:21Byron,

01:20:21Byron.

01:20:21He's been on three different times.

01:20:22Oh,

01:20:23three times.

01:20:23Three times.

01:20:24And I've been on one.

01:20:24So that's four times.

01:20:25How many shows have they done?

01:20:27A lot.

01:20:28How many?

01:20:28Thousands?

01:20:28No.

01:20:30Like,

01:20:30we just wrapped season seven,

01:20:31but there was obviously the pandemic.

01:20:33So we've,

01:20:34we've done 400,

01:20:35400,

01:20:36400,

01:20:36400.

01:20:37465.

01:20:37So you've had four Asian,

01:20:38four times an Asians appeared on over 400 episodes.

01:20:42Interesting,

01:20:43Byron.

01:20:44Byron,

01:20:44very,

01:20:45very interesting to me.

01:20:46Good to see you.

01:20:49Anyway,

01:20:49so you're the executive producer now.

01:20:51Yeah,

01:20:51I'm yes.

01:20:51Oh my,

01:20:52congratulations.

01:20:53Killing it.

01:20:53It's a great show.

01:20:54Yeah.

01:20:54Great show.

01:20:54But Jody is,

01:20:56honestly,

01:20:57you're a great comic.

01:20:58You know what I loved?

01:20:58Using You.

01:21:00Complete,

01:21:00reliable,

01:21:01I just,

01:21:02I could leave the room.

01:21:04You're gonna kill.

01:21:06Just,

01:21:06I just,

01:21:07just faith.

01:21:08You know,

01:21:08sometimes I bring people on the road.

01:21:09I have to watch.

01:21:10I get it.

01:21:11You know what I mean?

01:21:12I go,

01:21:13this is a rowdy crowd.

01:21:14You,

01:21:14never a problem.

01:21:15You're a fucking professional.

01:21:16So funny.

01:21:17And her special,

01:21:19Jody Miller,

01:21:19decades in the making,

01:21:20which is probably true,

01:21:22right?

01:21:22It is.

01:21:23Where'd you shoot it?

01:21:24Shot it at the Ice House,

01:21:25the newly renovated Ice House.

01:21:27Can we talk about that for a second?

01:21:28Yeah.

01:21:29How do you feel about it?

01:21:30How do I feel about what?

01:21:31The new Ice House.

01:21:32I mean,

01:21:32Let's be real.

01:21:35There I am.

01:21:36You look good.

01:21:38You look hot.

01:21:40Is that,

01:21:41was Abby there?

01:21:41Yes,

01:21:42she's there.

01:21:42yeah.

01:21:43It was.

01:21:43We have the same manager,

01:21:44by the way,

01:21:45Abby Leviton,

01:21:45if anyone wants to know.

01:21:46You know,

01:21:47the shows themselves were amazing.

01:21:50Let's talk about the club.

01:21:51The club.

01:21:53Let's talk about the club.

01:21:55I mean,

01:21:56here's the thing.

01:21:57Good to see you.

01:21:57Did you have fun?

01:21:58It just like it recently reopened.

01:22:01So,

01:22:01but I,

01:22:01I enjoyed it.

01:22:02You love it.

01:22:03Great,

01:22:04greatest club in the world.

01:22:04It's the best.

01:22:06Okay.

01:22:06Am I supposed to,

01:22:06what is that?

01:22:07Yeah,

01:22:07it's the best club in the world.

01:22:08It's a great,

01:22:09one of the greatest clubs in America.

01:22:10Ice House,

01:22:11Pasadena.

01:22:11Been there forever.

01:22:12Been there forever.

01:22:13It has.

01:22:13It's legendary.

01:22:14Very historic.

01:22:14You know,

01:22:14what I love about that club is because it's,

01:22:17it really is in the story of comedy,

01:22:20the history of it,

01:22:21it belongs in the same category as the comedy store.

01:22:25It really does.

01:22:26It's been around for that long.

01:22:28The Fishers who owned it for so many years were great comedy people.

01:22:32Like a family to me.

01:22:34And,

01:22:34you know,

01:22:35I'm glad it's up and running,

01:22:36you know?

01:22:37It is one of those clubs that you can walk on stage and just say hello and people start laughing.

01:22:43It's like one of those,

01:22:44you just feel like this is such a great club,

01:22:45especially,

01:22:46you know what I mean?

01:22:47coming outside of L.A.

01:22:48I'm glad that it reopened.

01:22:50I haven't been back since I shot the special,

01:22:52but I am going to be back June 14th.

01:22:54Check her out.

01:22:55June 14th live.

01:22:56Jodi Miller.

01:22:57Yeah.

01:22:58Yeah.

01:22:59I mean,

01:22:59it was,

01:23:00there was a lot of drama afterwards,

01:23:02just getting it edited and getting things done,

01:23:04as you know,

01:23:04but I think it just,

01:23:07I think it's representative of decades in the making.

01:23:09Everything seems to take decades,

01:23:11doesn't it?

01:23:11Yeah.

01:23:11But it's out.

01:23:12It's out.

01:23:13Everyone check it out.

01:23:14Check it out.

01:23:15And she's a dear friend of mine.

01:23:17And I can't thank you enough.

01:23:19I honestly tell so many,

01:23:20especially young comics,

01:23:21how great you are,

01:23:22because he would honestly,

01:23:24I'll never forget,

01:23:25we were at the Laugh Factory in Long Beach.

01:23:26There was somebody that literally just performed for what,

01:23:29like,

01:23:29they did an opening spot,

01:23:30a guest spot,

01:23:31and you walked right up to them,

01:23:32and you were like,

01:23:32how much time do you got?

01:23:33Do you want to come on the road?

01:23:34Like,

01:23:34you would give anyone an opportunity.

01:23:37I'm an opportunity guy.

01:23:38He really is.

01:23:38That is a huge thing in this industry.

01:23:40So many people will just be like,

01:23:42That's not the shit I read

01:23:42on the fucking online about me,

01:23:44but like,

01:23:44I wish those stories fucking went around.

01:23:46No,

01:23:46you are the sweetest.

01:23:48He's a good guy.

01:23:49Yeah,

01:23:49I'm a good guy.

01:23:50I wish those fucking stories

01:23:51would go around.

01:23:53I'm just starting.

01:23:53I'm just starting that.

01:23:54Yeah,

01:23:54yeah.

01:23:54I'll start that change.

01:23:55Instead,

01:23:55I get,

01:23:55kill yourself.

01:23:56I'm like,

01:23:56what?

01:23:58Anyway,

01:23:59so Jody,

01:24:00what else do you want to plug in?

01:24:01Anything else?

01:24:02No,

01:24:03just follow me.

01:24:03Just everybody follow me.

01:24:04Everyone follow Jody Miller,

01:24:05and also watch her show,

01:24:06the Byron Allen.

01:24:07Very good guy,

01:24:09Thank you for that one time,

01:24:10that opportunity,

01:24:11one time on your show.

01:24:12And Decades in the Maker.

01:24:13Decades in the Maker.

01:24:14Yes,

01:24:14thank you guys.

01:24:15Honestly,

01:24:15thank you.

01:24:16On YouTube,

01:24:16and also,

01:24:17check her on the,

01:24:18what,

01:24:18you have a website?

01:24:20Yes,

01:24:20Jody Mother Comedy.

01:24:21Yeah.

01:24:22And just actually on Instagram.

01:24:23Just follow me on Instagram.

01:24:24Yeah,

01:24:24she's just a veteran.

01:24:26She's been,

01:24:26you know,

01:24:27she's one of the best,

01:24:28and support my friend.

01:24:29Okay,

01:24:30everybody,

01:24:30give Jody a round of applause.

01:24:32Thank you guys.

01:24:33Give Zumi a round of applause.

01:24:35Give Jaime a round of applause.

01:24:37And let's give a round of applause for America.

01:24:39Yeah!

01:24:42Yeah!

01:25:03Do it.

01:25:04Do it.

2.Kazumi & The Filipino Hater Factory TigerBelly 453

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