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FULL MOVIES ENGLISH SUB (2026) - FULL | Reelshort
#drama #cdrama #romantic #love #movie #shortdrama #showhots #2026
FULL MOVIES ENGLISH SUB (2026) - FULL | Reelshort
#drama #cdrama #romantic #love #movie #shortdrama #showhots #2026
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Short filmTranscript
00:03Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple lines be good for your health
00:11And keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:15I believe it's never scared
00:18Ranging on is just the moment they fear
00:20Get up, sit up here for my dear
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, and shit
00:38Grab your ration book, find the nearest shelter
00:41And hope it's got TV reception
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for the last leg
00:47Tonight on the show, we'll pull apart the situation in the Middle East
00:51Decorate our winter Paralympians
00:53And build up some disability representation
00:56Plus we'll be joined by former conservative politician Penny Mordant
00:59And comedians Vittorio Angeloni and Jamali Maddox
01:04On the show that does it best to plaster over the cracks
01:21G'day! Hi everyone, I'm Adam Hills
01:24Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that heard that World War 3 is approaching
01:27And thought, thank God not one of us is physically able to fight
01:33With the joy to the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:35And the man who heard, Iran has limited arms
01:38And thought, I know how you feel
01:41Alex Brooker
01:51You won't hear two better jokes about a world war in your life
01:56Look, we are going to cover everything that's going on in the world
01:59Or at least we'll try to
02:00But before we get there, big news for Alex this week
02:03Big personal news, he's been on a journey of disability self-discovery, haven't you?
02:06Yeah, so, I've got myself a shower stall
02:12Oh
02:14Yay for mobility aids, but
02:16As I told you, the show has already peaked with those opening shows
02:20It's not mine
02:21It's not mine, I nicked it off an old lady next door, no I didn't
02:24Basically, so my wife done her achilles
02:26Yeah
02:26Done her achilles, and she, like, straight away
02:28Oh, bloody hell, it never rains, but it pours in your ass, does it?
02:30It's quite romantic having matching limps
02:34The kids don't know who's quickest now
02:36But, so she went straight away
02:39She told her kid, it was literally, like, a couple of days later
02:41She goes and gets this shower stall
02:43And I'm like, what have you got that for?
02:44And she went, well, I'm not going to suddenly start showering on one leg, am I?
02:47That would be ridiculous
02:51And I was like, in 41 years, I'd never thought about that
02:56Like, I think it must be like, like, um, like, disabled logic
03:00Like, we wake up in the morning and choose inspiration
03:03From the minute we wake up, we're like, why would I do it easy?
03:07I'm going to balance on one leg like a flamingo
03:11I'm trying to get through around the Britain's Got Talent every morning
03:13In the shower
03:14But all of a sudden, she's got this shower stall
03:16Yeah
03:16And it's mint
03:17It is, like, it's so much easier showering, sat down, than standing on one leg
03:23And, like, the best thing is, the other day, I was like
03:25Just loving it, sat there, just, this is amazing
03:27And, like, all the soap was there
03:28And it, like, I looked down at my bits
03:30And it looked like they were in their own little jacuzzi
03:34And it, it looked like, it looked like there was like an arm around
03:39All right, you're having a good time
03:41It was, like, it's the best, it's the best thing
03:46Do you know what?
03:47I'm fucking done with this one
03:49No, you're not
03:58If Alex talking about his meat and two veg having a jacuzzi
04:02Is the Paralympic legacy, count me out
04:05Well, you're not going to like this
04:07We've got a photo
04:08Oh, no
04:12Just to let you know, that's, that's my hand in the picture
04:15So that
04:17I forgot that your disability is that you're pixelated from the waist down
04:25And how much do I have to pay on OnlyFans to see the full photo
04:29I don't know, with the new season of heated rivalries looking a bit shit
04:34So who took that?
04:35Me, like, so you can see I've got my arm out
04:39Yeah
04:39I've got the good arm on it
04:41So look, Josh, Josh and I
04:43Josh and I think you need more than just your average shower chair
04:47Yeah
04:47So we've had a special arsenal chair, mate
04:50Oh my gosh
04:51Just for showers
04:52Oh, wow
04:55Go on, go on
04:56And do you know what?
04:58Yeah
05:00After what Alex told me
05:01That is the first and last time I'm touching that seat
05:05Do you want to come and have a sit on it?
05:06Yeah, of course, yeah
05:07So it's got your arsenal drink
05:09So you can have a drink in the shower
05:10And then you can listen to your stuff
05:12And then you put that on
05:14Like that
05:14Look at that
05:15Yeah, you can listen to Parent in Hell
05:17Well, you do look like
05:20Yeah, and so
05:24I'm going to turn it around
05:25Because the most exciting thing is
05:26Go on
05:27All right, on the back it says
05:29Wash your face and your arsenal
05:31Oh, what a present
05:34Arsenal
05:36Arsenal
05:40That's awesome
05:41Thank you
05:42Now I'm going to be honest with you
05:44There we go
05:44Oh, this is good
05:45That is not the chair we used in rehearsal
05:49Because
05:50The chair
05:50This is what happened
05:51To the chair we used in rehearsal
05:56Imagine if this broke
05:57There you go
05:59And if we scoot it round
06:00Oh
06:02Whoa
06:07I can't believe the stool's missing one leg
06:20Can I just say though
06:21Yeah
06:22Not one person came to help me
06:24I asked if you were okay
06:25Yeah, you did
06:26Thank you, mate
06:27I didn't realise at the time
06:28You said imagine if this broke
06:30Literally seven seconds before it broke
06:33Now we are live, of course
06:34Which means you can send us any questions
06:35You want to ask us about the news
06:37Message us on Instagram
06:38The hashtags
06:38Is it okay
06:39On WhatsApp
06:40The number is
06:4207956175908
06:43You can scan the QR code on your screen
06:45Do you know what, tonight
06:46We are going straight to the big story
06:48Abdul Mohammed said
06:49Is it okay that we might be going to World War III right now?
06:52So
06:53I'm sure you know what I'm about to say
06:55Because you've seen the news
06:56But
06:57Last Saturday
06:58America and Israel
06:59Launched airstrikes on Iran
07:00Hitting thousands of targets
07:01And killing the country's leader
07:03Ayatollah Ali Khamenei
07:05Iran then fired hundreds of missiles
07:07And drones at nearby Arab states
07:09Hitting Dubai airport
07:10As well as an RAF base in Cyprus
07:12Israel are now bombing sites in Lebanon
07:14While a US submarine sank an Iranian navy ship
07:17Off the coast of Sri Lanka
07:18In short
07:20There's a war in the Middle East
07:21And it feels like it's happened really quickly
07:23Do you know what I mean?
07:24Like last Friday
07:25We had no inkling
07:26It's like
07:26None of us saw this coming
07:28Including the Ayatollah
07:29It's like
07:30Well
07:31Particularly the Ayatollah
07:32Yeah
07:33You say it's moving too quickly
07:34Like a criticism of a relationship
07:38Yeah
07:38Last Friday we were talking
07:40I mean this gives a perspective
07:41Seven days ago in this room
07:42Talking about how important
07:43The Gorton and Denton biorex
07:46Do you know what?
07:47When people said the Greens were dangerous
07:49It turns out they were
07:50Doesn't it?
07:50The thing is
07:51Obviously we're all worried about World War 3
07:54Kicking off
07:54And all week I've been going like
07:55If China get involved in this
07:57Then it's really
07:58Going to boot off
07:59And obviously
07:59Iran were looking to China
08:01To support them
08:02But China have told Iran
08:04Basically they're not
08:04They're not going to send them any troops
08:06Instead they're essentially
08:07Going to offer them
08:08Moral support
08:10And Iran must be going
08:12Whoa hang on a second
08:13You've got the biggest army in the world
08:14We want that
08:15We don't want a fucking shoulder to cry on
08:18Look it's kind of hard to know
08:19Who to cheer for
08:20Because on the one hand
08:20America and Israel
08:21May have broken international law
08:24By bombing a country unprovoked
08:26But on the other hand
08:26The Iranian regime were
08:28And I think this is the politically correct term
08:31Absolute assholes
08:32They came to power in the Islamic revolution
08:34In 1979
08:35And introduced strict religious laws
08:37And brutal morality police
08:39That made Iran go from looking like this
08:41To looking like this
08:44Like it's like flicking over from Austin Powers
08:46To The Handmaid's Tale
08:47The Iranian regime has threatened
08:49The existence of Israel
08:50It's funded terrorism worldwide
08:51And this year alone
08:52It's killed tens of thousands of protesters
08:54These are not nice dudes
08:55But you know you're the bad guy
08:57When Trump and Netanyahu criticise you
09:00And the rest of the world go
09:00Actually they've got a point
09:01On Sunday
09:03Millions of Iranians worldwide
09:04Celebrated the possible downfall of the regime
09:06Despite the fact that their country was being bombed
09:09Jeremy Vine showed footage of the celebrations
09:11But misunderstood where it was coming from
09:13And created a perfect moment of accidental partridge
09:17We've got to show you some footage here
09:18By the way
09:19From Iran
09:20Of people dancing like Trump
09:25So that
09:26I gather that's in Iran
09:27And they're doing the Trump dance
09:28Which is just basically
09:29A very slight move of the hips
09:30And
09:31Oh where is it
09:32Where is it
09:33It's not Iran
09:35Ah
09:36It's crucially not Iran
09:38And that's very important
09:39Because if it was in Iran
09:40They might all be killed
09:48So look
09:49On the one hand
09:50Hooray
09:50A bad guy's been removed
09:51But on the other hand
09:52America doesn't have a great record
09:53Of removing bad guys in the Middle East
09:55And leaving it better than they found it
09:56Just to reassure you though
09:58That the adults are in control
09:59The American government are calling this
10:02Operation Epic Fury
10:03I mean it's giving men naming their own penises
10:07I'll tell you what gives men naming their own penises energy
10:10Yeah
10:10Alex in the shower
10:12That was Operation Epic Furry
10:26I'm surprised that Trump didn't want to call it Operation Forget I'm in the Epstein Files
10:34Yeah we'll get to that in a minute
10:38It's been kind of bonkers the way
10:39Watching the way America have just broadcast this to the world
10:42Especially on social media
10:44They released this really aggressive video
10:46That shows how they've pretty much turned the war into a meme
10:51We're going to annihilate their navy
10:55We're going to ensure that the region's terrorist proxies
10:59Can no longer destabilize the region or the world
11:04We will ensure that Iran does not obtain a nuclear weapon
11:10We will do this as long as it takes to achieve those objectives
11:13And we will achieve those objectives
11:14The world will be a safer place when we're done with this operation
11:22It looks like it's come out of South Park
11:25It's a wonder they didn't end with
11:26Oh my god they killed Kemeni
11:36And if you think America's tweet was tasteless
11:38Check out this unbelievable post
11:40This was genuinely put out by the Israeli Defence Force
11:45Nothing beats it
11:55Oh shit
11:56What did you think?
11:58Sorry
11:59I was just going to say
12:00Do you think that Jess Glynn would be more upset
12:02That her best song was hijacked by Jet 2
12:05or World War Three.
12:09What is going on? It's World War Three and they're making shit outdated memes.
12:14That's my issue. If you're going to meme about a war, make it topical.
12:18Exactly. What's next? How many schools did you bomb? 6-7.
12:29You know what?
12:31That's the first time a man in his 50s has done 6-7 and I've liked it.
12:3860s. 50s. Sorry.
12:41So why has this happened now? The truth is, we don't know.
12:44And neither does America.
12:45OK, first the Secretary of State Marco Rubio said,
12:48Israel, we're going to strike Iran, so America got in first
12:50to stop Iran hitting back.
12:52Then Trump said he had heard Iran was getting ready to strike Israel
12:55with a nuclear weapon, so he hit them first.
12:58But he also said last year he had completely destroyed
13:01Iran's nuclear capabilities.
13:03But the thing is, so the White House Press Secretary,
13:06Karen Leavitt, generally said that the war had started because
13:08Trump had a feeling.
13:11Right.
13:12Oh, that's not a feeling to have, to start a war.
13:16You can have a feeling that tonight's going to be a good night.
13:20Yeah, that's fine.
13:21You know, if you've got the feeling, jump up to the ceiling
13:23are you getting down tonight?
13:25That's a...
13:27Some experts are saying the US basically received word
13:30that the Ayatollah was meeting his senior advisers at a compound
13:33and they just thought, this is a window of opportunity,
13:36let's take him out.
13:37So it wasn't even planned.
13:38They just went, oh, we've got a shot, let's go.
13:40Very much like when Alan Carr took out Paloma Faith
13:43during Celebrity Fairness.
13:45With less of a dramatic fallout.
13:47Further to what you said before, though,
13:50earlier today a new document from the Epstein Files was released
13:52that contains unsubstantiated claims that Donald Trump abused a minor.
13:57I mean, I'm sure that's not why he attacked Iran
14:00and sent the whole region into war.
14:03Is it?
14:05I mean, remember when people thought a female president
14:07would be too emotional?
14:09Meanwhile, Israel have said they will take out
14:11whoever's chosen to replace the Ayatollah.
14:13They're going to take him out.
14:14What a tough job to advertise for.
14:17Wanted.
14:17Interim Ayatollah.
14:18Must have ability to work under pressure.
14:20Start date ASAP.
14:22It's a tough gig, that.
14:24Interim Ayatollah does sound like a great reality show, though, doesn't it?
14:27And the people that brought you Milf Manor.
14:30Interim Ayatollah.
14:32I've heard Igor Tudor's applied for it
14:33because it's easier to be in Spurs.
14:37Don't know what that means.
14:45But you know what?
14:46We all enjoyed it.
14:47We all enjoyed it.
14:48A whole bunch of words.
14:50But imagine that job interview.
14:52Like, interviewing someone to be the next Ayatollah.
14:55How do you...
14:56So, what's your biggest weakness?
14:57Oh, I don't know.
14:59Sometimes I love Allah just too much.
15:01Look, the most likely leader at the moment
15:03is the old Ayatollah's son, apparently.
15:06Bloody Nepo babies getting old.
15:08Donald Trump said last night
15:10he wants to choose the next leader of Iran.
15:13What, like going back to The Apprentice?
15:16Apparently when the bombs went off he went,
15:18you're fired!
15:19You're fired!
15:20You're fired!
15:20Trump also said today
15:22he wants to make Iran great again.
15:24He wants to make Iran great again.
15:27I don't think that hat's going to sell as well.
15:31The thing is,
15:32Donald Trump doesn't want Iran to be led
15:34by a despotic religious fanatic
15:36who uses his faith as an excuse
15:37to do whatever the hell he wants
15:38and is fawned over by everyone around him.
15:40And yet, this afternoon in the White House,
15:42this happened.
15:44That is Donald Trump being prayed for
15:48by evangelical pastors
15:49who are laying hands on him.
15:52I mean, at least the Ayatollah believed in his religion.
15:56It looks like the last one to let go wins a truck.
16:08It's all well and good, like praying with him
16:11and like maybe Jesus or God are listening,
16:14but if they are,
16:15I'd like to think they wouldn't start intervening
16:17with someone in the Epstein files.
16:20Fauna Buehler said,
16:21is it okay that Keir Starmer got our air bases involved?
16:24So the Prime Minister refused to let the US
16:26use British air bases
16:27to launch their initial attacks on Iran.
16:28But when Iran started firing missiles willy-nilly,
16:31he let the US use our bases for defensive strikes.
16:34Basically, when America tried to go all the way,
16:36Keir Starmer wouldn't let them get to first base.
16:37But when things got heated,
16:39he said, sure, but only over the shirt.
16:41Did he do the right thing?
16:43I mean, I don't know.
16:44Who knows with Keir Starmer?
16:46Because I just assume every option he picks,
16:48he's a sort of geezer
16:49where it's always the wrong option.
16:51You know if he was in Tesco,
16:53he always goes to the queue that, like,
16:55he thinks it's always going to be the longest.
16:56Rebels.
16:57You know if Keir Starmer goes into the Rebels,
17:00he gets a coffee one every time.
17:02It is...
17:03I don't know, is the answer, because it's so...
17:06Sometimes you do go, do you know what?
17:08Being Prime Minister is a fucking nightmare.
17:11Like, he can't...
17:12He makes the wrong decision, then he switches,
17:15and that's the wrong decision,
17:16and then he's pissed off Donald Trump,
17:17but then he's also pissed off the left,
17:19and you're like, do you know what, mate?
17:22Just have a fucking break.
17:23Like, it must be a nightmare.
17:26I...
17:26I quite like the decision that he made.
17:28I like that he didn't go in straight away.
17:30Because it was...
17:31He basically went, this is against the rule of law,
17:33and we're not going to do this.
17:34And also, I mean,
17:35he's not one to talk about regime change.
17:38I'm sure that's the last thing he wants as well.
17:40He said, we don't want regime change from the skies,
17:43or from Manchester, apparently.
17:46I think, I don't know,
17:47I've got a feeling he might have actually come out of this
17:49looking better than if he'd gone in gung-ho.
17:52But...
17:52You've got to remember,
17:53he's got an incredibly low bar on what people think of him.
17:56He also didn't want to miss out, though,
17:58on the war-related social media hype.
17:59Last night, he posted this uninspiring clip.
18:06Our number one priority is protecting our people.
18:09And that's why,
18:11long before the US and Israeli action last week came,
18:14we had already deployed additional military capabilities
18:17to the region
18:18to defend our interests.
18:25Do you know what, though?
18:27It is cooler when you remember
18:28that that's Wes streeting on guitar.
18:31I reckon Keir Starmer's voice
18:34could underwhelm any song.
18:39Also, you don't want people thinking of Die Straights.
18:41But it's like, that's a banger, that song.
18:44He could be on, like, Freed for Desire,
18:46and it would be shit.
18:48And nobody even spoke in the lyrics of it.
18:50That ain't working, that's the way you do it.
18:54Money for nothing and your cheque's for free.
18:56Oh, my God!
18:57It's like I've got an echo between you two.
19:00It's such a shame
19:01that Hilsey's finally nailed his Keir Starmer impression
19:03just as he's about to leave.
19:05Look, that clip wasn't enough to win over Donald Trump.
19:08No way!
19:09Criticised Starmer this week and said he's no Winston Churchill.
19:12Which is weird,
19:12because Winston Churchill stood his ground
19:14against an authoritarian with stupid hair
19:16who tried to change the world order.
19:18Trump went on to criticise the UK's wind farms,
19:20the UK's immigration policy.
19:22He said, quote,
19:23London is a very different place,
19:25a terrible mayor and terrible people,
19:27but it's a very different place.
19:30What does he mean by different?
19:32Do you know what I mean?
19:33That sounds a lot like racism.
19:34And as an Australian, I know racism.
19:38That is the weirdest brag I've ever...
19:42In fact, the more Donald Trump ran down London this week,
19:46the more defensive I got.
19:48Not...
19:48And we've talked about this during the week,
19:49so more defensive than these guys.
19:51Josh and Alex.
19:52You're worried about your visa, though.
20:02I did, though.
20:03Like, he kept talking down London and I got...
20:05You know, I've been living here for nearly two years.
20:06This place feels like my home.
20:08I think I've lived in London more than I've lived
20:10in any other city in my life.
20:11I got really, really defensive, so...
20:12Don't tell us.
20:13Tell the officers.
20:17So, look, I made a little video message for Donald Trump
20:19to show him just how great London can be.
20:23G'day, I'm Adam Hills.
20:24You know, Donald Trump says London is a terrible place
20:27full of terrible people.
20:28But since moving here, I've found Londoners
20:30to be some of the friendliest people on the planet.
20:32Fuck off, mate.
20:35There's so much to celebrate.
20:38From problematic tourist attractions...
20:40To eating out.
20:41London's the home of international cuisine.
20:44With every dish you can imagine right on your doorstep.
20:46Oh, cheers.
20:48That's 20 quid, mate.
20:4920 pounds?
20:51For a glorified cheese toastie?
20:53Listen, you Aussie...
20:55That's a great way of getting around London.
20:57They'll take you literally anywhere you need to go.
21:00Oh, hey.
21:01G'day, mate. Just going to Balham, please.
21:03Balham?
21:03Sorry, mate. Don't go south of the river.
21:14London's full of famous faces.
21:15Who knows?
21:16You might even end up having a coffee
21:17with my celebrity mate, Self Esteem.
21:23Hey, Selfie, it's Adam.
21:24Yeah, just wondering where you are.
21:26Look, I've told you, I don't want to meet for a coffee.
21:28I also don't know who you are.
21:31I mean, it's a great city for people watching.
21:36Cheers, thanks.
21:3920 pounds?
21:41Donald Trump might have a problem with green energy,
21:43but in London, lime bikes are everywhere.
21:48So there you have it.
21:50London, a safe place for everyone.
21:54Even kids feel safe being out and about.
22:00So listen up, Donald Trump.
22:02Sure, London might be a smelly, grimy, rainy, overpriced shithole,
22:05but it's our smelly, grimy, rainy, overpriced shithole.
22:09We love it.
22:11Maybe it's because I'm Australian
22:14that I love London, tap.
22:19Oh, it's on my shoes.
22:26Oh, it's on the...
22:28Oh, man.
22:30Fucking city.
22:33Great, VT.
22:40All right.
22:42Let's bring out tonight's guests.
22:44An Englishman, an Irishman, and a politician walked into a studio.
22:46Please welcome comedians Jamali Maddox and Vittorio Angeloni
22:49and former Cabinet Minister Penny Mordaunt.
22:52Hooray!
22:53Hooray!
22:55Hooray!
22:58Hooray!
22:59Hooray!
23:00Hooray!
23:01Hooray!
23:01Hooray!
23:01Hooray!
23:01I thought you were injured!
23:03Oh.
23:03Can we mention it?
23:06Hooray!
23:07Hooray!
23:08Hooray!
23:11So, my first question to you.
23:13I was told you were injured.
23:14I have actually broken my leg.
23:16Not my leg, my foot.
23:18My foot.
23:18Okay, but you've taken the cast off for the show?
23:21I have, yeah.
23:22Is that safe?
23:23Well, it was more that I knew what your producers had planned
23:27later on in the show.
23:28Right.
23:28So, I'm going to sit that bit out, so...
23:30Okay, but you're all right?
23:32I'm all right.
23:32Okay, cool.
23:33Okay, good.
23:34I like the fact that you didn't want to come here
23:35and moan about your leg.
23:39Also, so let's talk about what's going on this week.
23:42I'm going to get to you in a seat, Penny, but Vittorio,
23:45you know, everything that's gone on in the Middle East this week,
23:48how do you feel about it all?
23:49Yeah, slow news week to be making my debut on the show.
23:53I mean, look, I think we can all agree it's been grim.
23:55Nobody's enjoyed seeing the news this week,
23:58apart from Prince Andrew.
23:59He's probably buzzing.
24:06Yeah, just to be out of the news cycle for a day.
24:13But it's important to remember there's a reason for the war
24:16and for the attack, you know?
24:17Like the media has said, it's to remove a misogynist dictator,
24:22you know, and help support the rights of Iranian women
24:25and Trump and Netanyahu have done that in the only way
24:28they know how.
24:29Bombing a girls' primary school.
24:34And...
24:34LAUGHTER
24:35Wow!
24:37Erm...
24:37Allegedly.
24:41Erm...
24:41Do you have to say that or do I have to say that?
24:44Either way it's been said.
24:45Jamali?
24:47Jamali?
24:48Yeah, I'm just looking...
24:49I'm eyeing up the Ayatollah job.
24:52LAUGHTER
24:54I'd give you a good crack, bro.
24:56You know, cos I know, like, Israel's saying,
24:58we're going to kill the next one.
24:59They won't kill me, I'm too cheeky.
25:02You know, it isn't a scam.
25:08All right.
25:09And so, Penny, look, obviously...
25:10I would vote for that.
25:11I would vote for that.
25:12You would vote for that.
25:12I think my, like, it's hard to peck,
25:14but I think my favourite moment of the war so far...
25:16Yep.
25:18..was when...
25:19LAUGHTER
25:21The IDF posted one of these mad TikTok compilations
25:24and in it they were celebrating the fact
25:25that they'd destroyed an Iranian military helicopter,
25:29but it turns out it was just a painting
25:30of the helicopter on tarmac.
25:33LAUGHTER
25:33Like, who's in charge of the IDF?
25:35Wile E. Coyote?
25:37LAUGHTER
25:38The Iranian military have given a statement,
25:40they came out and said, meep, meep.
25:42LAUGHTER
25:43So, Penny, before we ask your opinions,
25:45we had a segment made up
25:47in which we've contacted you before ago,
25:49you've got your opinions on certain stuff.
25:50So, we're going to run with it.
25:51It's a little segment we like to call...
25:55..a mordant for your thoughts.
25:59So, what do you...
26:00What do you make of everything that's gone on this week?
26:02Well, look, I think that you were very kind
26:04to the White House about the social media
26:06that you showed.
26:07There is worse...
26:08Yes.
26:09..out there.
26:10..I think the President, if he just said to his allies,
26:14I'm sorry, we've come to the conclusion
26:16we can't stop this nation getting the bomb
26:19without taking out the leadership of the regime
26:23and denuding their capabilities.
26:25We don't need your support to do it,
26:27but we'll be there for you
26:28if you have to take defensive action as a consequence.
26:31And in the process, we will stop a lot of terrorism,
26:36illicit oil flows, organise crime
26:38and give the Iranian people a chance at a brighter future.
26:40It would have gone down better.
26:42That's...
26:42But that sounds like a mature thing to say from a...
26:46..from a grown-up.
26:47There is, I think, a strategy behind this,
26:50but you can be forgiven for not knowing what that is.
26:54Oh, you think there is a strategy behind this?
26:55I do.
26:56And I think there's implications for China and Russia
26:59in this as well.
27:00But the most important thing,
27:02there have been people that have war-gamed this
27:04and see where this goes.
27:06And the critical thing is, now he's started this,
27:08he's got to end it.
27:10Because the worst outcome for this...
27:12I'm sorry, this is a light entertainment show.
27:14No, no, no, go on.
27:15..this is important stuff,
27:15is if you leave part of the regime in place
27:18that's less experienced, more fanatical,
27:21at a time when the population is rising up against it.
27:25It will be very bad indeed.
27:27So basically...
27:27There was an episode where Hilsey was away
27:29and we were left in charge.
27:30It was very similar.
27:32So what you're saying is this will all be fine
27:34as long as Donald Trump is focused
27:36and doesn't get bored easily.
27:38He started on this course
27:38and he has to...
27:40..he has to have a good outcome,
27:42he has to see it through.
27:43At least he famously sticks to one task.
27:46And look, you famously carried a ceremonial sword
27:48at King Charles' coronation,
27:50which we want to show,
27:51because Alex has a very quick question.
27:52Yeah, like, obviously that was a big role.
27:54Did you get to go to the evening do?
27:57I wonder what it was like.
27:59No, afterwards I drove home and fed the cat.
28:04What?!
28:05Did you have the sword?
28:06You didn't even get to go to the...
28:07No, well, I knew there were a lot of people in the same boat
28:09so I actually bust a load of booze into the House of Commons
28:13and anyone who was part of the ceremony
28:15that didn't get to go somewhere nice,
28:17I stood them a drink
28:18and then I went home and fed the cat.
28:20And we all paid for it.
28:23LAUGHTER
28:31I paid for it, I paid for it.
28:32Look, one thing that people might not know about you
28:34is that, we have mentioned it on the show though,
28:36you used to be a magician's assistant.
28:38I did.
28:38Such a good fact.
28:39Now, we talked about this during the week
28:40and Josh got very excited because Josh knows three magic tricks.
28:45And look, since the news has been very gloom and doom...
28:47I haven't done them since I was a kid, I should say that.
28:49Since the news has been very gloom and doom this week,
28:52we thought maybe we could end this part with a little bit of magic.
28:55Why is Alex not doing the magic trick?
28:58Sleight of hand type stuff?
29:00LAUGHTER
29:09I was genuinely so tempted to look really sad, but I love that.
29:13LAUGHTER
29:16Um, all right, er, let's... let's do it.
29:22LAUGHTER
29:26APPLAUSE
29:30Yes!
29:32Here we go!
29:35Paul Daniels is back on TV, let's have it.
29:38Right, er, I'd like to welcome up my wonderful assistant,
29:42The Magical Mordant!
29:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:47Let's straighten those up.
29:49Now...
29:50Penny, we're going to need a volunteer.
29:52Can we have some, er, volunteers?
29:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:56Anyone?
29:57This guy!
29:57Yes!
29:58Yes!
30:00OK, I've got three magic tricks.
30:03There we go.
30:04Penny, can I have my cards, please?
30:06It's weird how much that hat suits you as well.
30:09LAUGHTER
30:09Thank you very much.
30:10Like a Victorian pimp.
30:11OK, this is my first magic trick.
30:13It's a normal pack of cards.
30:15You know when kids dress as Magical Mickey at Disney?
30:19LAUGHTER
30:19Normal pack of cards, take the top two cards.
30:21How long have you got?
30:23Here we go.
30:24Show them to the audience.
30:25It looks like you got into Hogwarts through clearing.
30:28LAUGHTER
30:33There we go.
30:34Put them back in the pack any way you want.
30:36Remember your cards.
30:37Yep, I'll remember them.
30:39OK, ready?
30:39I'll straighten the pack.
30:41There they are.
30:44Little cards!
30:45There you go!
30:47Put that in, Hogwarts!
30:49LAUGHTER
30:50There you go.
30:52Next, Penny could have two matchsticks.
30:54This one I don't think is going to transfer to television
30:57as well as it did to the playground.
30:58LAUGHTER
31:00There we go.
31:01Thank you, Penny.
31:01Can you check the normal matchsticks?
31:02Yes.
31:03Oh, there we go.
31:04She wouldn't lie.
31:05Not allowed to word use normal on this show.
31:07LAUGHTER
31:08Right, I'm going to make these jump.
31:09Can you concentrate, think, positive, jump thoughts?
31:13OK, you ready?
31:14Whoa!
31:16Oh, my God!
31:17She was genuine.
31:19Whoa.
31:22Third trick, now.
31:23Third trick.
31:24This is incredible.
31:25And do not try this at home.
31:27This is a bit much for some people.
31:29You all right with gory, Penny?
31:30Yeah.
31:31OK, right.
31:32Five...
31:33Well, let's not go through that, Alex.
31:34Now, um...
31:36That's my thumb.
31:36You ready?
31:39Ooh...
31:41Ooh...
31:41Whoa!
31:44And you just...
31:45Pretty good, pretty good.
31:46Well, I'll attach it back on.
31:47There it is.
31:48Oh, that's amazing.
31:49Now, let's try it with a bigger...
31:50Bigger thing.
31:51Give me your leg.
31:52Not that one.
31:53Not that one.
31:55OK.
31:55OK, you ready?
31:56Whoa!
31:58Whoa!
32:03There you go.
32:04Can I have that?
32:07Penny?
32:08Would you like to read us into the break?
32:11Happy to.
32:13Just don't ask me to make you tea.
32:15We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break when we kick off with the Winter Paralympics.
32:20See you soon.
32:39All right, folks.
32:40Welcome back to Last Leg, which are my Penny Morden, Vittorio Angelone and Jamali Maddox.
32:45Alex has got snow in his mouth.
32:47The Winter Paralympics turns 50 this week, which means it's about to leave its wife and start doing triathlons.
32:54Wheelchair curling has already started.
32:56GB beat the USA despite America posting this edgy hype clip of rapper Snoop Dogg as the ultimate Paralympic hype
33:03man.
33:06Coach Snoop here, and you already know what time it is.
33:09You are the athletes who redefine strong, and your greatness is beyond comparison.
33:15And it's not just me.
33:17All of America is proud of each and every last one of you.
33:20All around the world, your family and friends, we love you from the D-O-double-G, and everybody is
33:25cheering you on.
33:26Tonight is the official start of your games.
33:28So let's do this.
33:30USA.
33:31USA.
33:33USA.
33:33USA.
33:33Go.
33:39We'll take it.
33:41I love it.
33:44He should take over the White House's social media account.
33:47Absolutely.
33:48What won't Snoop do at this point?
33:51Who is he in debt with?
33:54Has he got a Wong alone?
33:57I wonder how high he thinks he is when he watches some of the Paralympic sports as well.
34:04You can watch the events over the next week on Channel 4.
34:07The opening ceremony took place earlier.
34:09Look, it was kind of weird because a whole bunch of countries pulled out.
34:13Because Russia was allowed to compete under their own flag.
34:16Which meant you had moments like this weird kind of bit where Chechia came in, but Chechia didn't come in.
34:24Chechia are the First Nation boycotting.
34:28So the flag and the name of the nation carried by two volunteers.
34:33So they're protesting these countries, these eight countries who aren't sending athletes to the ceremony by not showing up rather
34:39than making the protest on the stage itself.
34:43Oh, I just thought they were really, really, really short statues.
34:49We're going to have our own alternative opening ceremony at the end of tonight's show.
34:53To kind of make up for that, we want to give it a bit of voom.
34:55A bit of voom?
34:56A bit of voom.
34:57A bit of voom.
35:09A bit of voom.
35:10Please welcome Millie Knight.
35:25Edinburgh .
35:31Do you know what, Millie?
35:32The audience have applauded for so long, we don't have time to interview you.
35:36It's so lovely to have you here.
35:38What was the Winter Paralympics experiences like for you?
35:41The Paralympics is unreal.
35:43It's like nothing else.
35:45It's a range of every emotion you could possibly think of.
35:49You know, the pressures, the excitement, the nerves, everything.
35:53But, you know, to be honest, the real medals are...
35:56It's about the pin collections.
35:58Yes.
35:59You know, how many pins can you collect from different countries?
36:02That's really what it's about.
36:03And, look, obviously, getting along with other countries is a big thing,
36:06but you were pipped for gold by someone by the name of Henrietta Farkasova.
36:14Name we loved, cos she Farked us over.
36:19Do you have a grudge with Farkasova?
36:22Absolutely not, no.
36:24She's an absolutely amazing athlete.
36:27She's far more experienced than me.
36:30So, very, very well-deserved.
36:32And is it true the reason you're not competing is because you've taken up karate
36:35and you're now, like, a world champion in karate?
36:39Uh, yeah.
36:40Yeah, that's amazing.
36:50So, look out, Farkasova.
36:52She's coming for you.
36:54Millie, so lovely to have you here.
36:55Uh, good luck with the karate.
36:57Um, look, like I said, Paralympics running over the next, uh, couple of weeks.
37:01I'm going to run you through some of the highlights of what to look out for at the Games tomorrow.
37:05Uh, but I'm going to do it, uh, as we did in Paris.
37:08I'm going to do it on a snowboard.
37:14All right, I guess.
37:15Please, Edna.
37:23I'm going to be honest, these aren't really the shoes to be doing this on.
37:30This is the most Australian you've ever looked.
37:33All right, let's give this a crack.
37:35Okay, so, the visually impaired skiing gets underway tomorrow morning.
37:38Oh, no!
37:39With Fred Warburton and guides James Hannan,
37:42while Neil Simpson and his brother Andrew make a start to their program in the women's downhill.
37:46Uh, no, in the women's downhill,
37:47Men of Fitzpatrick starts a campaign with guide Katie Guest.
37:50The para-snowboarding also kicks off tomorrow,
37:52with James Barnes-Miller and Ollie Hilton,
37:54hoping to qualify as well as Debbie Shiv.
37:56Scott Mina also competes on day one of the para-playing athole events,
37:59while GB are in action in the wheelchair curling.
38:02I got to the end!
38:06As we find out how Peppa Pig is increasing disability awareness,
38:09see you in a little bit!
38:25Welcome back to Last Leg.
38:27We're joined by Penny Morton, Vittorio Angeloni and Jamali Maddox.
38:30In disability news this week,
38:31Peppa Pig's younger brother George will be diagnosed as moderately deaf
38:36and is going to be fitted with a hearing aid in a storyline to air on Monday.
38:39Ah!
38:39How do we feel about that?
38:40Well, I mean, I think it's a lovely thing for Peppa, like, the show to have done,
38:45considering they've kind of promoted Peppa Pig all this time.
38:48She's essentially, she's an arsehole.
38:51This whole time, she's always made it about her,
38:53she's always been a dick to George,
38:54but it is good that they're doing it.
38:56I think it's good for kids to see that.
38:58Yeah.
38:59Like, you know, there's like little children, like six or seven,
39:01that will see that and they'll see that, you know, someone with a hearing impairment
39:04and it's kind of completely desensitises them to it.
39:07Like, when you compare it to, like, when I was at school,
39:10like, when I was six, like, my classmates,
39:13they used to see me get taken out for a nap in the middle of the day
39:17and I always thought everyone was going for a sleep
39:19and then I found out about five years ago
39:21that it was just me and the other disabled kid in the school
39:24because the school believed some outdated research
39:27that disabled people needed more sleep.
39:40That is wild.
39:41Thoughts on Peppa Pig?
39:43Yeah, I'm with him, I think she's smug.
39:46She's not cheeky, is she?
39:47Yeah, but always on an adventure.
39:51Daddy Pig did teach me you can drive your trotters, so...
39:56But George's audiologist is going to be voiced by Jodie Oounsley,
40:00who's been on this show, the deaf gladiator,
40:03and she was saying the same thing, you know, like,
40:04it's brilliant for deaf children or hearing impaired children
40:07to be able to watch that and see themselves represented.
40:09I do just think it's a difficult show to do that
40:12because what do you say as a deaf or the parent of a deaf child?
40:15Like, that's you, you're a pig.
40:19Well, and I know disability representation is a big thing for you,
40:22Penny, because you are an ambassador for something called
40:25The Music Man Project, who we had on the show last year.
40:29Yeah.
40:29A whole bunch of people with learning disabilities,
40:32singing, a choir, it's beautiful.
40:34They're an amazing organisation and they've actually set up
40:37an alliance for disabled musicians.
40:41It was always their dream.
40:42They used to be David Amos' charity, the MP that was murdered,
40:46and when he was killed, I stepped in and helped them.
40:49But it was always his dream and theirs to play Broadway,
40:51Broadway, and we are taking them to Broadway this autumn.
40:54They're going to play a show on Broadway.
40:56But what we're hoping is that the day after,
40:59we're going to take them to the UN and we're going to have
41:02the General Assembly room there, which will be the most useful
41:04thing that room has been used for for a very long time.
41:07And we're going to put it this way, the scenes you've seen in
41:10Parliament this week with Angela Rippon will be nothing compared
41:13to what we're going to do at the UN.
41:15But there's an important message behind it, which is that we've
41:19got to provide the educational opportunities for people to get
41:23involved in the arts.
41:23Panny's always been such a supporter of disabled people.
41:26You're very supportive of the prosthetics industry.
41:29You were promoting on Twitter an arms fair in Saudi Arabia
41:32recently.
41:38I think it's honestly, I think, you know, I'm so happy I'm
41:43sitting here, brother.
41:44I think it's great.
41:46You've got to let me respond to that.
41:47Let me finish.
41:48I think it's great.
41:48I would say that investing in our defence, in this particular
41:52week, is rather important.
41:53I'm on your side.
41:54I don't think you are, sweetheart.
41:57I genuinely have to get to the mystery guest.
42:01Just one last thing, just as a positive thing, I think it's
42:04brilliant.
42:05Warmongering has always been a male-dominated industry.
42:07LAUGHTER
42:08And you've really smashed the glass ceiling.
42:11I'm very proud.
42:12Well, I would, I'd like to take the, I'd like to take the
42:16opportunity to introduce you to some other women that put their
42:19lives on the line to defend people like you being able to do
42:23what you want to do in your life and make jokes about the
42:26government and all sorts of things and enjoy the freedoms that
42:28we do in this country.
42:30So, tonight's mystery guest...
42:32LAUGHTER
42:32LAUGHTER
42:35It's a top sailor guy from Belfast, you know what I mean?
42:38LAUGHTER
42:39We're going to bring other mystery guests, Penny Vittorio and
42:41Jamali, have to try and work out why they are in the news.
42:44Can we have the mystery guest, please?
42:47LAUGHTER
42:57This is Laura, I hope she hasn't been listening backstage.
43:01LAUGHTER
43:02This is Laura, she has been in the news this week.
43:04Described in the news as a genius, but why was she in the news?
43:09Alex, can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
43:14We needed that a few minutes ago.
43:16LAUGHTER
43:17What's she in the news for?
43:18I was going to say, she avoided paying for luggage on a flight
43:21because she sent clothes to herself in the post.
43:23Was it because she has bought and wrapped Christmas presents for
43:26every member of her family all the way until 2056?
43:29Or is it because she conducted surgery on a patient in Gibraltar
43:33whilst still in the UK herself?
43:37Uh, mystery guests, do you know what?
43:39Have a think about it over the break.
43:40We are so short for time.
43:42Uh, and possibly a fight's going to break out.
43:45LAUGHTER
43:46We'll be back in a sec, we'll reveal the mystery guests,
43:48we'll stage our own alternative
43:49Winter Paralympics opening ceremony.
43:51We'll see you in a little bit.
44:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:07Welcome back to The Last Leg.
44:08We're joined by Penny Morton, Vittoria Angelone
44:10and, uh, Jamali Maddox.
44:11Now, before the break, we challenged our guest
44:13to work out how this person was connected to the news.
44:15Can we have the options again, please?
44:18So, was Laura in the news
44:19because she avoided pan for luggage on a flight
44:21by sending clothes to herself in the post?
44:23Was it because she had bought and wrapped
44:25her Christmas presents for every member of her family
44:27all the way to 2056?
44:29Or is it because she conducted surgery on a patient in Gibraltar
44:32while still in the UK herself?
44:35Which one? Which one do you think?
44:36I'm thinking with, it's one or two.
44:39I'm in, uh, one or three.
44:40I'm in deep admiration.
44:41I think the surgery.
44:43I think you don't seem cheap enough to do the luggage run.
44:48And 2056, you don't seem mad enough
44:50to do Christmas presents for 2056.
44:52Jamali?
44:53I'll say number three.
44:54I think one. I think one.
44:57I think that's the smart thing.
44:58You think one?
44:58All right, so what is the correct answer then?
45:00Uh, I posted my luggage to myself
45:03instead of paying luggage fees.
45:05Wow.
45:09How much did you save?
45:12Um, well, it would have cost me £30 to take a bag on as hand luggage with me,
45:18and I spent £2.59 posting it to my destination instead.
45:23And have you, have you other money-making schemes that have worked in the past?
45:27Um, well, I've sold money before.
45:30What?
45:30You've sold money?
45:31I've sold money for more than what it's worth.
45:33Like what?
45:34So, you know, like a 50p, sometimes you get special 50ps.
45:38Yeah.
45:38Some of them are really common, and you can sell 150p for, like, £9.
45:41£10.
45:42I've done that many times.
45:44I mean, now I'm used to collect them.
45:45You're like Martin Lewis.
45:47LAUGHTER
45:49Laura, thanks so much for being on the show.
45:51Thank you, Laura.
45:55Thank you, Laura.
45:57We are about to win the show with our alternative version
45:59of the Winter Paralympics opening ceremony,
46:01but before we do, would you please thank our guests,
46:03Penny Mordent,
46:06Vittorio Angelone,
46:08and Jamali Maddox,
46:09and my co-host Josh Winnickam
46:12and Alex Brooker.
46:15We'll be back next week with guests Richard Ayoade
46:18and Michelle Wolf,
46:18but right now it's time to unveil our alternative version
46:21of the Winter Paralympics opening ceremony.
46:24Take it away, Vittorio.
46:32Welcome to the Last Legs Winter Paralympics opening ceremony.
46:36The Olympics had Snoop Dogg,
46:39but we've gone one better.
46:41Put your hands together for our own legendary rap goddess,
46:46introducing...
46:47Honey G!
46:56You should know, you should know that, uh,
46:59Honey G's not having anything today.
47:01As we stand here totally crossed out,
47:04we commence to make ya,
47:06the last leg will make ya,
47:09GB will make ya,
47:11these skis will make ya.
47:13Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
47:14Don't try to compare us
47:15to another bad little fad
47:16on the mat,
47:17and I'm back
47:17giving you something that you've never had.
47:19I'll make you rock, rock,
47:20wriggle and shake you up,
47:21cause I'll be kicking the flavors that make you wanna jump.
47:24How high? Real high,
47:25cause I'm just a fly.
47:26A young lover will hug the full type of oh my,
47:28cause everything is to the back with a little sack,
47:30cause inside out it's wicked, wicked, wicked whack.
47:34Honey G will make ya,
47:36the last leg will make ya,
47:38GB will make ya.
47:41Uh-huh, uh-huh.
47:43Honey G will make ya,
47:45the last leg will make ya,
47:48GB will make ya.
47:53Thanks for watching The Last Leg.
47:55My name's Adam Hill.
47:55See you next week for The Next Leg.
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