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Short filmTranscript
00:02Too many margaritas, huh, okay?
00:04Let's get you in bed.
00:05Oh, Jesus!
00:07You have pajamas upstairs.
00:11And I have breakfast and all that too, so...
00:16Chloe?
00:20Um...
00:30So, you're drunk. We're both drunk, alright?
00:33Probably.
00:35Because I've never felt worse.
00:39Hey.
00:42We're best friends. We're roommates.
00:45It's your last chance.
00:49I can't believe it, Maddie.
00:50It's my three-year anniversary with Sam.
00:55I think he's gonna propose.
00:58Hmm?
01:00Which is why I need you to take pictures of me from the bar when it happens.
01:06And, uh, why would I do that?
01:09Because I'm your best friend. You love me?
01:12Hey.
01:13You're right.
01:16Sam's here.
01:17Thank you, Maddie.
01:19You're the best.
01:21Okay, yeah.
01:22Go.
01:27Mr. Sheldon. The usual?
01:30You know it.
01:43Sam.
01:44I can't stay, Chloe.
01:46I, uh, only came here because I wanted to do this right.
01:50Breaking out with you.
01:54So, for your anniversary, I thought...
01:56Look, I just really need to focus on myself now.
01:59My business is taking off after I finish my MBA.
02:03The MBA I've been working two jobs to pay for.
02:05And I will forever cherish that.
02:08But, I'm different now.
02:10I'm better.
02:11And it's time for me to move on to something better.
02:14But, hey.
02:15No hard feelings, right?
02:17Oh!
02:18I gave you everything!
02:20Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
02:22It's okay.
02:23Just let it go.
02:24Alright?
02:25It's no big deal.
02:26Let it go.
02:27Sam!
02:28What's up, man?
02:29Look, dude, I get it.
02:30She's my best friend.
02:32And even I can't handle her temper sometimes.
02:34I also heard that you're now a big fancy CEO.
02:37Am I right?
02:38Congrats, dude.
02:39Hey, thanks for looking out for me, man.
02:40Yeah, see, even your best friend knows I'm right.
02:43We're just in different worlds now.
02:44I may be more successful, but...
02:46Don't be ashamed.
02:48Oh, Sam, I'm not ashamed.
02:50You know what?
02:51I just got an idea.
02:53It's the 21st century, right?
02:54Breakups happen.
02:55But that doesn't mean life ends.
02:57Sam, you're the man here, yeah?
02:59Why don't you guys just hug it out, put it in the past, clean slate.
03:04What do you say?
03:06I'll give you some privacy.
03:07Chloe, if you're interested in staying friends, I'm more than happy to...
03:11Hey!
03:13Get your hands off my wife.
03:16Wife? Your wife?
03:28Don't act so fucking surprised.
03:30You're the one that's been following us around like a stalker.
03:32I'm not a stalker!
03:34You follow her to work, you sit outside of our apartment, and you put these fucking love
03:39letters in our mailbox.
03:42Also, glad you're here.
03:44On your camera, I found all these pictures of us.
03:50And then you put your hands on her.
03:52Here, in front of me.
03:55That's not true, asshole!
03:56Whoa! Whoa!
03:57Hands off!
03:58Let go of me!
03:59He's crazy!
04:00I'm crazy?
04:00Give this to your fucking skull.
04:02She don't want you, pal.
04:04What?!
04:05Move!
04:05You're insane!
04:07I messed up my shirt.
04:10Well, that went well.
04:13What?
04:14Dude.
04:16What?
04:22Hey.
04:25We're best friends.
04:28You're family.
04:29We're roommates.
04:31This is your last chance.
04:38Don't worry, Mateo.
04:41You can hold me accountable.
04:45How?
04:49I'll marry you.
04:52I've loved her since the first day.
04:55I want this.
04:56I want her.
04:58I want her.
05:03I want her.
05:03I'll love you too.
05:26What happened last night?
05:30Why am I wearing Mateo's ring?
05:34Oh, do you remember what happened now?
05:41Well, good morning to you too, fiancée.
05:44Oh my god, I slept with my best friend and promised to marry him?
06:09Hey, Perv.
06:11Eyes up here.
06:13I'm not looking at you.
06:17Alright, hey Chloe.
06:19Close in.
06:20Look at me.
06:21First of all, thank you.
06:22Um, but we need to talk about this.
06:24Look, I, we've been best friends for forever.
06:29We work at the same company.
06:31I even helped you with your side job.
06:33And now, last night.
06:37He's right.
06:38How could I do this to him?
06:40I can't lose my best friend.
06:42I'm so sorry, Maddie.
06:45Please don't be mad at me.
06:47I promise I'll make it up to you.
06:49Just say the word.
06:54Well, I can think of a way that you could make it up to me.
06:59What?
07:02What do you mean?
07:06You're kidding, right?
07:09Hey, look, I won't force you.
07:11Alright, we can back out.
07:12I'll just, I'll move out and be homeless.
07:15Wait, just, let me think about this.
07:18I, I mean, I just, I didn't think that I would get married so young.
07:23There's an entire world of hot guys who have limits now.
07:26Wait a minute.
07:28We're here at a courthouse.
07:29All you're thinking about is hot dudes?
07:31Mm-hmm.
07:33Okay, but seriously, I mean, I know you're worried about your mom and your brother, and
07:39I know they want to ship you off to a bunch of rich old dudes or something like that, right?
07:43Plus, you know, maybe this is a good thing.
07:46So this is really me kind of doing you a favor.
07:50Okay, yes, you have a point.
07:52I mean, at least you are the one person I can always rely on.
07:58Alright, best friend, let's get married.
08:02What have you done, Chloe?
08:04Most people just get drunk when they get dumped, but no.
08:08No, you had to sleep with your best friend.
08:12God, I am so sorry.
08:14It's okay, I was headed to Mr. White's class, and I, thank you.
08:23Oh, Mr. White, yeah, yeah, he flunks anyone who's late, which, by the way, we are 30 seconds
08:30late, so we should probably, how?
08:33No, um, I'm not giving up.
08:36Uh, why don't we both go together?
08:39He'll probably yell at us.
08:40It'll probably still be embarrassing, but...
08:42I love that.
08:42Uh, I'm Matteo Lane.
08:43It's nice to meet you.
08:44Chloe Pascal.
08:46Hey.
08:49You okay?
08:51Yeah, I...
08:53This is my mom.
08:54I have to take this.
08:55No problem.
08:56You go ahead.
09:02Boss.
09:03Hey.
09:03There you are.
09:04I've been looking for you.
09:06What are you doing outside City Hall?
09:08Oh, nothing, dude.
09:11Just getting married.
09:13Married?
09:14To Miss Pascal?
09:15Congratulations!
09:16I know, I know.
09:18Boss, now you can tell her the truth.
09:19That you're actually the richest man in the country?
09:22And that you insisted on buying her company?
09:24And you've only been working here undercover just to be with her?
09:26No, no, no, no.
09:27As far as she knows, I'm just her best friend, dude.
09:31And I'm the only person she can trust, and that's true.
09:34So what I'm thinking is we fall in love, right?
09:38And then I'll tell her the truth.
09:40Tell me what?
09:42Um...
09:42The CEO has some really urgent work for me to do,
09:45which is why Mr. Miles just happened to be in the area.
09:48Urgent?
09:50We only asked off for half a day so we could get married.
09:55The CEO doesn't even show up to the office.
09:58The dickhead's working us like mules.
10:01What an asshole.
10:03So, um, what'd your mom want?
10:06Oh, you know, she got me a date with an old man.
10:08If I don't go, she's gonna burn my grandma's house down.
10:13It's the usual, normal stuff.
10:15Yeah.
10:16Don't worry.
10:16I'm gonna take care of it.
10:17We should get you to the office.
10:21Since they clearly can't survive without you, Mr. Lane.
10:24Well, only if she knew her husband owns the company.
10:29I'm about to head back to the office now.
10:31Would you two like a lift?
10:32Are you sure, Mr. Miles?
10:34Isn't this the CEO's car?
10:36Oh, well, I'm sure the, uh, you know, dickhead boss wouldn't mind.
10:41Isn't that right, Mr. Miles?
10:42Up after you, Mr. Pascal.
10:46Dude.
10:47Oh, shit.
10:48Chill.
10:52Oh, thank you.
11:04Mattie, I did something crazy.
11:06I married my best friend.
11:10Now that we're married, it's kind of awkward, but I miss telling him everything.
11:16Is there something you want to tell me?
11:18You ready to burn the bridge?
11:22What?
11:23What are you doing here?
11:25I brought you some coffee.
11:26Actually, I do need some white teeth.
11:29Slacking again, are we, Chloe?
11:33You know, if you like flirting with men so much, there's another job for women like you, Chloe.
11:39A hooker.
11:41He's my friend, Nancy.
11:43You know what that word means, right?
11:45Friend.
11:46Drop the act.
11:48We all saw you come into work today in the CEO's car.
11:51Did some extra credit, huh, Chloe?
11:55I'm warning you, slut.
11:57The CEO is mine.
12:00So you better back off.
12:03Poor you.
12:05Following Chloe around like a stray dog while she's been seducing the CEO behind your back.
12:10Okay, I have no interest in the CEO, okay?
12:13You can have him, but I heard he has good taste, so I doubt he'll be interested.
12:20Take that back, you little slut.
12:24You know, I don't usually hit women.
12:28You do that again, though, and I'll break your wrist.
12:30Also, this fantasy that you have with the CEO, I just have a suspicion that he's not going to be
12:36interested.
12:36Yeah?
12:37And why are you so sure of that?
12:39You're just an IT geek.
12:40Let's just say that I have a good feeling.
12:49My designer dress.
12:53You all saw it.
12:55Chloe and this loser attacked me.
12:59You are fired.
13:01Both of you.
13:02Wow.
13:03Uh, firing both of us?
13:05That's a lot of power for the head of the marketing department.
13:08What are you going to do about it?
13:10You're just a nerd on the IT team.
13:12I'm not scared of you.
13:14You should be.
13:20Hey, just forget it.
13:22What if the CEO finds out about this?
13:24I can't risk you losing your job, too.
13:26Who's going to pay rent?
13:26It's my job now to protect you, right?
13:29We've only been married a few hours, Mateo Lane.
13:32You're rather committed to the role.
13:34That's it.
13:36I've wasted enough time on these two.
13:37Security?
13:38Get them out of here.
13:39You see that, everyone?
13:41I'm just taking the trash out for the company.
13:44If the CEO were here, he'd thank me.
13:47Oh, Mr. Miles, thank God you're here.
13:49We're just kicking these losers out for insulting the CEO.
13:54That's very interesting, Ms. Gibson, but...
13:57I have a direct message from the CEO himself.
14:01Ms. Chloe Pascal has been promoted to the head of the marketing team.
14:04And, uh...
14:06Oh, here.
14:07Ms. Nancy Gibson has been fired, effective immediately.
14:20No.
14:21This is impossible.
14:27It was you.
14:29You did this!
14:30I'm sorry.
14:31What was it that you said?
14:33Um...
14:33Oh, yeah.
14:34We're just taking the trash out.
14:36Get her out of here.
14:45Oh, my God.
14:47What just happened?
14:48I don't know, but that was crazy.
14:51Did you have something to do with this?
14:54Oh, my God.
14:54No.
14:55I think that the CEO promoted you because he recognizes your talent and you've worked very
15:00hard.
15:02Okay.
15:03Well, I can't believe that I got married and promoted in the same day.
15:08So, I think that we should go and celebrate.
15:14I think it's a drink or get some food or...
15:21So, you're drunk?
15:32No.
15:33No.
15:33No, no.
15:34Um, I don't think I should drink ever again.
15:39Hmm.
15:48Are you avoiding me, Mrs. Lane?
15:52Not avoiding you.
15:53I'm just...
15:55You know what?
15:56We haven't gone to the flower market in a while.
15:59We should go there and make some extra cash.
16:02Okay, but the flower market, I mean, that's not fun.
16:04And it's our wedding night.
16:06You just got promoted.
16:06We should celebrate.
16:07Hey, stop.
16:08Stop.
16:09I know that we're married now, but we cannot do this at work.
16:12So, just go actually be productive elsewhere.
16:17Okay?
16:18Please?
16:18It's okay, Chloe.
16:20I've loved you for all these years.
16:21I'll wait for you to fall in love with me.
16:34Come on, Maddie.
16:36You know how important my side job is to me.
16:38Are you going to be helpful?
16:39Or what?
16:45Smile.
16:46You're scaring away the customers.
16:49See, isn't that better?
16:52I'm going to go grab something from the car.
17:05Hi, handsome.
17:06How much for the bouquet?
17:08The, uh, prices are all on the labels, miss.
17:12And what's your favorite flower here? I would love your recommendation.
17:17Hey, can I help you with anything?
17:22Thanks, but this gentleman and I were talking here, and he's been very helpful.
17:35So handsome.
17:38How about you throw your number in while we're at it?
17:40You know what, uh, I don't think I can do that because my wife wouldn't appreciate it.
17:45My wife would appreciate it.
17:49Also, your pickup lines do seem a little rusty.
17:52I hope we'll find that.
17:55What?
17:57What did you do? That was a customer!
18:00I, wait, so you wouldn't be jealous if I gave a random customer my number?
18:03Uh, that's not what I mean.
18:08So you would be jealous?
18:09Stop it!
18:11Just go get some water before you scare away the rest of the customers.
18:18I can do that. I can do that.
18:21How's it going, little sis?
18:26What are you doing here, Henry?
18:28Oh, I'm sorry, your highness. I didn't know you owned this street.
18:31What do you want?
18:34Eh, not much. Just a few hundred bucks.
18:38Huh! No! No way! I'm not giving you any more!
18:42Are you deaf or just dumb, Chloe?
18:45I'm telling you, Mom and I need money.
18:48You ungrateful brat.
18:50Ungrateful?
18:52I've been working since high school and I send you and Mom money every month.
18:56Stop taking credits and just hand me some cash!
18:58I'm warning you!
19:01Scared now, huh?
19:04Let go, Henry, you're crazy.
19:06Shut your trap or I'll shut it for you, bitch!
19:13I'll break your arm for you.
19:15How does that sound?
19:28I don't even know who you are.
19:31You're Henry, right? You're Chloe's brother?
19:33The one who still lives in your basement.
19:36How's that going?
19:36You pushed me, you asshole!
19:40My knees.
19:42You better give me some money now before I sue you for assault.
19:45In your dreams, Henry.
19:47We're not giving you a cent. Leave. Now.
19:50You little bitch.
19:52Hey.
19:53You're gonna side with this jerk and not your family?
19:56See, that's the funny thing.
19:58I'm her husband.
19:59Which means that she's my family now.
20:02I have a feeling that I'm probably gonna do a better job than you ever did.
20:06Husband?
20:07Chloe Paschal, you married this penniless deadbeat?
20:10Divorce him.
20:11I'm home with me now.
20:13Mom and I have found you a rich guy.
20:14He's willing to pay half a million for you.
20:16Are you kidding, Henry?
20:18You can't just sell me like some cattle.
20:20Half a million.
20:21I'll take care of it.
20:24Fuck.
20:26There's no way Matteo has that kind of money.
20:30Unless...
20:30He's hiding something from me?
20:34I'll take care of it.
20:36What are you talking about, Matteo?
20:38You don't have 500 grand.
20:40But I do.
20:42And if it makes you happy, I'd give up ten times more than that.
20:47You're gonna give me 500 grand.
20:49You're just a dirty little vendor.
20:51You're basically a beggar.
20:52This is your precious husband, Chloe?
20:54I don't care if he's rich.
20:55I like him for who he is.
20:58She said she liked me?
21:01That's it, Chloe.
21:02I'm telling Mom, don't say I didn't warn you.
21:04Sure.
21:04Go ahead.
21:05Run away to Mom.
21:06That's all you're good for anyway.
21:08You...
21:13You really don't want this hand, do you?
21:17Touch my wife again.
21:19And I'll break it.
21:20Permanently.
21:22Go.
21:26Ah, looks like her knee's just fine after all.
21:29I can't believe it.
21:31No one's ever stood up for me like that.
21:33Oh.
21:34You're amazing, Thaddy.
21:37Ah, was I?
21:43Yeah, that's why you're my best friend.
21:47Right.
21:48When is she gonna realize that I don't want to be just her best friend?
21:52Well, we have a lot of flowers left over, so I guess it's just not our day.
21:58We should probably just close up and head home.
22:03Tom, send back up here to the market.
22:09Hello.
22:11Can I get those ones, please?
22:13Yeah.
22:22Well, looks like it is our day after all, huh?
22:28Does this man know Mateo?
22:35It's funny I was just saying how slow it's been who knew it would take such a turn.
22:40Don't you think this is kind of weird?
22:43Hmm?
22:44All these men in suits and the way they're looking at you.
22:48No.
22:49No, no, no, no.
22:49I mean, maybe they just have good taste.
22:52No, but it's not weird.
22:53Not at all.
22:56Maddie?
22:56Hmm?
22:57Did you?
23:00No.
23:01No.
23:02I mean, these fine gentlemen probably have a corporate event that they're needing flowers for,
23:07and I wouldn't worry about it.
23:08But we have customers, so it's...
23:11Hi.
23:12Great choice.
23:13Tom, you dummy.
23:15At least tell the boys to change into something else before coming from the office.
23:18Have a good one.
23:19Hi.
23:21Hey, Mr. Miles.
23:23Why did the CEO order the entire department to get flowers from some random vendor?
23:29I mean, one phone call and he can get whatever he wants.
23:35Boss is doing it for love.
23:37You get it?
23:40Love.
23:42Here you go.
23:45Beautiful choice.
23:46Hey.
23:59You know, maybe it's time I told Chloe that I'm the CEO.
24:02So she doesn't have to work so hard.
24:04Maddie!
24:05Are you there?
24:06Yeah!
24:08Where are you?
24:10I forgot my bathroom.
24:11Can you get me one?
24:12Wait!
24:13No, no can do.
24:15I put it right out here for you.
24:17Because, look, I know that we've been best friends since the dinosaurs were here.
24:23But, I'm telling you, you gotta remember that I'm technically a man.
24:26Alright, which, and, and, now that we're married, I can't-
24:31What do you mean?
24:32Come on, Maddie, we do this all the time.
24:34Dear God!
24:36Okay.
24:37Um, no.
24:38No.
24:39I'm freezing.
24:42Well, make an igloo.
24:44I'm sorry.
24:46Alright.
24:47You know, I think I know why you're so shy.
24:51And don't wanna see me naked.
24:54Because you like me.
24:57You wanna kiss me.
25:12What are you doing to me?
25:14Nope! We can't do this. We're just friends.
25:18You know, that's funny to hear you say, friend.
25:20Because I seem to remember you being the one who seduced me the other night, remember?
25:26This is your last chance.
25:28Don't worry, Mateo.
25:31You can hold me accountable.
25:33How?
25:36I'll marry you.
25:39Fine.
25:40I get it.
25:41I was a drunk idiot and I forced you to marry me.
25:44No, you were a drunk idiot.
25:46But I never said that I was forced.
25:56You're welcome.
25:57Y'all done?
25:58Yes.
25:59Great.
25:59Alright.
26:00Let's go.
26:02Watch your head.
26:03It's okay.
26:07You know I've seen it all, right?
26:10Stop it.
26:13Why are you doing this?
26:17We're best friends.
26:19I know.
26:22For ten whole years, we've been best friends.
26:26But what if, what if I want something more?
26:34Look.
26:37Tell me the truth.
26:41If there's nothing more to this, if this is a dead end, a locked door,
26:47I'll let it go.
26:54Beep.
26:56Beep.
27:01Mom, what do you want?
27:04Chloe Pascal!
27:06How dare you hit your brother and get married behind my back!
27:10You ungrateful slut!
27:12We've found a wonderful man for you.
27:14So get your ass home tomorrow, or I swear, I will sell your dead grandma's house!
27:26Let me guess, your mom is holding your grandma's house over your head and trying to sell you off to
27:34some rich old man?
27:36I can't keep letting her do this to me.
27:39Or you.
27:42Alright, that's it. Tomorrow I'm going over there and I'm telling her I'm married.
27:48I can go with you if you want.
27:49No, I...
27:51This is my family, my mess, I...
27:55I can take care of it.
28:02I know Chloe's mom and brother.
28:04They're not going to let her off the hook that easily.
28:15Hey, Tom. Listen.
28:18I want you to make three expensive engagement gifts.
28:21Yeah.
28:23Yeah, I'm meeting my wife's family tomorrow.
28:35Who want me to do?
28:43Told you to be here on time! How dare you keep Mr. Cooper waiting!
28:48Mr. Cooper.
28:50This is my baby girl, Chloe.
28:52Isn't she pretty?
28:55Mom, I already told you I'm not marrying a sugar daddy.
28:58She doesn't mean that, Mr. Cooper.
28:59Oh, I do mean that, Mr. Cooper.
29:02I'm not going to sell my soul for money.
29:07So, if you want to buy a bride, you've come to the wrong place.
29:14Because I'm...
29:17Already married.
29:18Ever.
29:24What is this?
29:26What?
29:26She's married?
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