- 2 days ago
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00:04I
01:32The Black Cat, otherwise known as Gangster Granny, the Howl, when she's dead.
01:50I miss you so much, Gran.
01:53I brought you your favourite cabbages.
02:01She certainly loved those.
02:03Oh, hello, Isha.
02:06I remember your gran's famous cabbage soup only too well.
02:10Made to blow off something chronic.
02:13She used to quack like a duck.
02:21I miss her so much.
02:22Oh, don't.
02:24You'll set me off as well.
02:31Hello.
02:34What's your name?
02:40I come here once a week to see my husband.
02:43He passed away ten years ago.
02:46Gets lonely.
02:48I wish I'd been more like your gran.
02:51She always had a twinkle in her eye.
02:53As if she was up to some mischief.
02:58Why don't I come over tomorrow?
03:00Do you like Murray Mints?
03:02Yes, of course.
03:03Oh, would you take a look at my sister too?
03:06Of course, it would be a pleasure.
03:07Okay.
03:08Now, from your house, you'll need to get the number 73 bus.
03:12Oh, no.
03:13Granny left me wheels in her will.
03:15Oh.
03:16And I made a few modifications.
03:19That might just happen.
03:22So listen, deep stick with your madam.
03:26Or she might just leave.
03:28Yeah, yeah.
03:28Let's get down with the trumpets.
03:30Yeah, yeah.
03:30Let's get down with the trumpets.
03:32Yeah, yeah.
03:32Let's get down with the trumpets.
03:34Yeah, yeah.
03:34Let's get down with the trumpets.
03:36What?
03:36Let's get down with the trumpets.
03:38What?
03:43Taking after your grandmother, eh?
03:50Enjoy your joyride, Benjamin Herbert.
03:54While you can.
03:57Let's get down with the trumpets.
03:59Let's get down with the trumpets.
04:03Let's get down with the trumpets.
04:05Let's get down with the trumpets.
04:07Ah-ha.
04:08Ben.
04:09My favorite customer.
04:12A bag of your finest mariam mints, please, Raj.
04:14Excellent choice, sir.
04:16It has been a good harvest this year.
04:18I saved you the latest plumets weekly.
04:22I saved you the latest plumets weekly.
04:22Free stock card.
04:23Cool.
04:24And a pull-out poster of Wembley Stadium's new sprinkler system?
04:28Oh, mega.
04:32What's that?
04:33The mask of Tutankhamun has been stolen.
04:36Toot.
04:37And again, Toot.
04:39King Toot.
04:39Wow.
04:40Can I see?
04:41Uh-uh.
04:41Sadly, there is no browsing.
04:44The thief snatched it in the dead of night, leaving just one clue.
04:48What?
04:49Meow.
04:51Spelled out in Scrabble letters.
04:54You don't think this could have been the work of the black cat?
04:57No, it can't have been.
04:59Can't it now?
05:01Oh, no.
05:02Aha, Mr. Parker.
05:05In my bottom five favorite customers.
05:08This theft has all the hallmarks of your old partner in crime.
05:12The silver-haired menace known as your grandmother.
05:16But Granny's gone.
05:17And where were you last night, Benjamin Herbert?
05:20In bed.
05:21Doing what exactly?
05:23Sleeping.
05:24Any witnesses?
05:25Yes, actually.
05:26I always sleep in front of an audience.
05:28Always sleep in front.
05:38Quite the comedian, aren't we, Benjamin Herbert?
05:41Well, I...
05:44I'm watching you.
05:48Very closely.
05:57Move this before somebody has an accident.
06:01I could have had an eye out.
06:06I could have had an eye out.
06:08Have a good day.
06:09Oh, my God.
06:43What's that postbox always there?
06:45What postbox?
06:48Oh, hello, dear.
06:50Sorry I didn't see you come in.
06:51I was in another world.
06:53The magical world of ballroom.
06:55Oh, me and your mother have some rather exciting news.
06:59We've been...
07:00Been accepted for the International Ballroom Championships.
07:03You two.
07:05You don't sound so surprised.
07:07You're representing England.
07:08The Outer Hebrides, your mother did lie a tiny bit on the application for.
07:13And we're going to be dancing in front of someone super special.
07:16Her Majesty the Queen.
07:18Big ballroom fan, apparently.
07:20Oh, and even more exciting.
07:22Guess who is hosting.
07:25Don't know.
07:27Ben, your mother would like you to guess.
07:31Ant and Dec.
07:34Flabby-o!
07:37Oh, you wonderful man.
07:42If you slobber over him, he'll get soggy.
07:48I did warn you.
07:50I'm going to go read my Plumber's Weekly.
07:52No, not yet.
07:54We haven't told you the best part.
07:56Drum roll.
07:59Ding.
08:01It's this Saturday night and we have bought you a front row ticket.
08:05Early Christmas present.
08:08I told the vicar I'd fix the church boiler that day.
08:14Teenage boys should not be interested in boilers.
08:17They should be interested in ballroom dances.
08:20The quick step, the fox rock, the char, char, char, char.
08:24One too many chars.
08:25Oh, yeah.
08:26Plumbing only leads in one direction.
08:28And that's down the drain.
08:30Oh.
08:31See what I did there?
08:33Very drove by what true love is what it is.
08:36Come on.
08:37Music maestro.
08:38We need to practice our winner's routine.
08:43Ant.
08:50Present.
08:53Yes.
08:58Things are not good, Gran.
09:01It's getting so bad now that I'm talking to a picture.
09:07You see, there's a new black cat and I'm getting the blame.
09:12I really need your help.
09:16You would know what to do about that rotten old nosy Parker.
09:23And there she is.
09:26Evil incarnate.
09:29And the reason for this emergency meeting of the neighbourhood watch lower toddle branch.
09:37The international jewel thief known as...
09:42Biscuits?
09:43Biscuits?
09:44What do you mean, biscuits?
09:45Are there any?
09:45Biscuits?
09:46Don't interrupt.
09:48Don't interrupt.
09:50The international jewel thief known as the black cat.
09:55Lock her up and throw away the key.
09:57She's passed, dear.
09:59Oh, when, dear?
10:01A while ago, dear.
10:03May she rest in peace.
10:04There are usually biscuits.
10:06I will break out the biscuits in good time.
10:09If she's passed, what are we talking about her for?
10:12Because this gangster granny had a protégé.
10:16The most dangerous criminal mastermind the world has ever known.
10:21This moon-faced boy is the new black cat.
10:27Oh, Ben is a good boy.
10:29He fixed my washing machine for free.
10:32Well, Katie, in the joint to rob you blind, no doubt.
10:35Did he steal my biscuits?
10:37No!
10:39Here are your nasty biscuits.
10:42Before you ask, I'm saving the chocolate ones.
10:44True.
10:45Now, for the rest of you, cancel your cruises.
10:48Put down your puzzlers.
10:50Banish the bingo.
10:51We cannot rest until we have caught him in the act.
10:56For who knows where or when the black cat will strike again.
11:31A tragedy.
11:32What?
11:33Now they've stolen the World Cup.
11:37What a fuss over nothing.
11:39The World Cup.
11:40It's hardly the strictly glitter ball.
11:45The only clue the thief left behind was the word purr in Scrabble letters.
11:50The black cat.
11:52But it can't have been.
11:54How do you know?
11:56I don't.
11:59I, er, I said I'd go and visit Isha today.
12:02Granny's pal.
12:04Er, have you ever considered getting a friend your own age?
12:08No.
12:11He likes older women like his dad.
12:21Okay.
12:25Bress and sprout cake.
12:29There you go.
12:30Just a sliver.
12:32A way to thin slice.
12:36You were telling me about the thefts.
12:38At both crime scenes, the thief left Scrabble letters with words connected to cats.
12:46Oh.
12:46Almost forgot the parsnip custard.
12:51You're really spoiling me.
12:54I bought a bunch of books when the library closed down.
12:57There must be one somewhere on the mask of Tutankhamen.
13:00And the World Cup.
13:03They're arranged by topic, colour and spying damage.
13:07Try next to the red medium damage cookbooks.
13:11Oh.
13:12I found one.
13:13Football trophies.
13:14That's great.
13:15Oh.
13:16And here's one on ancient Egypt.
13:20Why don't you borrow them to look for clues?
13:28Now it's getting really weird.
13:30Did that postbox used to be there?
13:32Not unless my mind's playing tricks on me.
13:34Come on.
13:52Come on.
13:53Come on.
13:58Come on.
14:31Neighbourhood watch. Assemble.
14:40Don't let him get away.
14:44Come on, Millicent, you can do it.
14:50Give a shift down, Virginia.
14:52By the love of goodness, give yourself a chance.
14:56Or we'll force-feed you stewed rhubarb until you come fifth.
15:00Oh, I could murder a rhubarb crumble.
15:04You can't run from the law forever.
15:06It wasn't me, Mr. Parker. I swear, I'm innocent.
15:09Oh, your grandmother taught you well, Benjamin, or shall I call you the black cat?
15:14I'm not the black cat.
15:15You've even got a wrong getaway car.
15:17Oh, my God, get out, get out, get out.
15:30Come on, come on.
15:31Come on.
15:47Come on.
15:49Come on.
15:50Come on.
15:51Come on.
16:02Low-speed pursuit in progress.
16:19Arrest that boy!
16:20Lock him up and throw away the prison!
16:23It's been a lovely outing. Will there be sandwiches?
16:26No, I told you. If you wanted to eat, you'd have to make your own packed lunch.
16:31What a hullabaloo! We can barely hear ourselves tango!
16:35Just what is going on here then?
16:37This boy is an arch-criminal.
16:40Em, I can't believe it!
16:42Don't! It's not true!
16:44He's stolen the mask of Tutankhamun and the World Cup.
16:48We caught him red-handed.
16:50Look, Officer! Books that link him to the crime!
16:55Go, boy. Go, boy.
16:56I took them because I wanted to do some detective work.
16:59Find out who really did it.
17:01How very convenient!
17:03This boy is Britain's most wanted.
17:09The Black Cat.
17:11One under sea!
17:13I'm not the Black Cat!
17:15Ben, just tell these nice people where you've hidden the mask of Tutankhamun and that football thing of me.
17:22World Cup.
17:22That.
17:23I can't because I don't have them.
17:25Right. That's it. You're grounded.
17:27Perhaps a spell in the cells will jog your memory.
17:30You can't arrest him.
17:31I certainly can.
17:32No, but it's dealt with. He's grounded.
17:34I'm afraid grounding does no legal status, madam.
17:36Well, it should.
17:38How about we put him on the naughty step?
17:40Again, not an official punishment.
17:42The very naughty step?
17:45Benjamin Herbert, I've placed you under arrest for theft.
17:48Come on.
17:49Anything you say can be snotty-blah, so-and-so and so-and-so, etc.
17:53You know the rest. Come on.
17:54He knows the rest.
17:55Mum! Dad!
17:56You can't do this!
17:59Uncuff him right now, or I'll write a very stern letter to someone or other.
18:04Neighbourhood watchers, I'll give you the night off.
18:07You can all binge-watch Pointless.
18:10Nothing is going to be stolen tonight.
18:14You have framed an innocent boy.
18:17Out of my way, you buffoon.
18:18Never.
18:19You'll have to run me down.
18:21As you wish.
18:25We fight!
18:26We fight!
18:27It really, really hurts!
18:30Well, in fairness, Mike, you did ask him to run you over.
18:33Yeah.
18:38Me.
18:52Hello.
18:55Um...
18:56What are you in for?
18:58I had a child.
19:01Honey-joking.
19:13I had a child.
19:14I had an old lady.
19:19Oh, my God.
19:54Oh no, they can't have.
20:00Help! Help!
20:06Great. There you go, Buster.
20:09That should flush much better now.
20:12Cheers, Ben.
20:13You're a lifesaver.
20:20You're a lifesaver.
20:20So, Black Cat, how did you steal the Queen's Wax figure when you were locked in here, eh?
20:26I didn't. That's how.
20:28I couldn't sleep. Ben was up all night telling me a bedtime story about a little puppy who got stuck
20:35in a U-bed.
20:37He couldn't get out. He was trying to get out, couldn't he?
20:41He went on for ice. He just came trying and trying again. It's terrible. Tell him about it. Come on,
20:49tell him about it.
20:56Is it better yet? No, it's not better yet. The doctor said I'd broken every bone in me foot.
21:02But darling, it's the internationals tonight and there's nobody to take your place.
21:07Then we'll just have to pull out.
21:09Pull out? Pull out? But what about my Flavio? He will be devastated if I'm not there.
21:16I'm sure he'll get over the disappointment.
21:18Oh. Stay there.
21:22I couldn't move if I wanted to.
21:39Release my son this instant.
21:42Mrs. Herbert, Ben has been accused of some very serious crimes.
21:47And what evidence do you have?
21:48Well, that depends on your definition of evidence.
21:51But Mr. Parker said he did it.
21:55I am taking part in an international dance competition this evening and I'm one short of a pairing.
22:02Now, you let my Ben out right now or you can rumble with me tonight on stage at the Palladium.
22:19Which is it to be?
22:23I'll get the keys.
22:26But one more whiff of trouble from your lad.
22:28I'll have him straight back in the slammer.
22:38I sprung you out of jail, Ben. It's the very least you could do.
22:41I am not dancing with my own mum. I'm 14. It's super weird. Why can't Dad do it?
22:48Because Mr. Parker ran over me dancing foot.
22:50Ben, you have to do this, please. I am begging you.
22:54Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.
22:56Why not?
22:56I'm grounded.
22:57He's got a point. We can't make exceptions.
23:00After careful consideration, your father and I have decided that the grounding period is now over.
23:05Have we?
23:05Yes. We've got a lot of work to do on our routine.
23:08Okay, sure, but right now I've got to go.
23:10No, no, no. We're competing tonight. We have to rehearse.
23:13Yeah, but I'm your son, so I have natural talent for dance, just like you.
23:18That is a good point.
23:20No, no, wait. Hey.
23:21Where are you off to?
23:22What's more important than dancing with your own mother? It's every young boy's dream.
23:26I'm going to look for clues to clear my name.
23:30Do...
23:30Yo.
23:31Yo.
23:32I don't know.
24:19Stop right there.
24:23What have you got in your hand?
24:25Nothing.
24:25Didn't look like nothing.
24:27Open it.
24:29The other one.
24:33Both together.
24:44What do we have here?
24:48And if you look in your shoe, you'll find...
24:53Nothing.
24:55Oi!
24:56You little...
25:00Another bowl of broccoli trifle?
25:02Oh, no, no, no, no.
25:03But the first three bowls were perfection.
25:06Now, whoever this black cat is, I think they're playing a game.
25:11Why are they leaving clues?
25:13It's like they want to get caught.
25:16That's odd.
25:17What's odd?
25:17Just a moment.
25:25Look at my Scrabble Tiles.
25:28Boxed down to plastic.
25:30Now, look at the ones you found.
25:34What's the difference?
25:35They're slightly different colours.
25:37And not plastic.
25:40They're made of bone china.
25:42I didn't even know they made bone china Scrabble pieces.
25:46Nor did I.
25:47But I think this gives you your first major clue, Ben.
25:51Who would own a bone china Scrabble set?
26:07There you are.
26:09We have been frantic.
26:10Why?
26:11The internationals kick off in an hour.
26:14But I...
26:14No buts, Ben.
26:15We need to leave right now.
26:17Like a second ago.
26:18Two seconds.
26:19Three seconds.
26:20But I have a clue.
26:21I need to find the real black cat.
26:22Priorities, Ben.
26:24Come on.
26:25Oh, I just need to get me crutches.
26:26There isn't time.
26:31Hurry up.
26:47Last.
27:05Oh, she is the greatest dancer.
27:08Wait.
27:08Whoa.
27:09Oh, whoa.
27:09Ha.
27:10Oh.
27:11OMG, Flavio.
27:13It's me.
27:14Linda.
27:15We met the four.
27:17I don't suppose you remember me.
27:20Don't remember.
27:21You are the monster who gave me mouth to mouth.
27:24Well, if you're referring to me acting quickly to save your life, then yes, that was I.
27:29Do you like my nails, Flavio?
27:31I haven't done especially for you.
27:35I love Flavio.
27:38If I only had another finger, I could have included the O.
27:41What do you think?
27:42I think you need to stay as far away from Flavio as possible.
27:48Don't talk.
27:49Don't even look at Flavio.
27:52Any funny business tonight, and Flavio will have you barred from ballroom dancing forever.
27:58Oh, well, how about that?
28:02Flavio remembered me.
28:11You never said we'd have to dress like this.
28:14I wanted to keep the Titanic theme as a nice surprise.
28:17And you make a very dash and iceberg.
28:27That's just sympathy, Catherine.
28:30Proud father and husband coming through.
28:34Excuse me.
28:35Sorry, sorry.
28:43What a wonderful contestant, ladies and gentlemen.
28:48Your royal, majestical majesty, highness.
28:53I'm hoping you enjoy that very muchness.
28:56Our next contestants, representing the outer Ebrides.
29:00It's us.
29:01They are a mother and a son partnership.
29:03Bravo.
29:04Standing ovation encore.
29:06Sit down, you fool.
29:08They haven't danced yet.
29:10Please, a small smattering of applause for two dancers that,
29:16as much as we may try,
29:19we ain't never gonna forget.
29:21The air bear.
29:33That's it.
29:34That's it.
29:34Right there.
29:46My heart will go out as long.
30:03My wife, the dog.
30:05Yeah.
30:06Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you.
30:13That's how I know you, no more than you.
30:20I walk across the distance and spaces between us.
30:27I walk towards you.
30:31Okay.
30:35I walk wherever you are.
30:41I believe that the world does follow me.
30:50Once more you open the door.
30:58I think there's still quite a bit of the song to go in.
31:03Sit me up.
31:05Sit me up.
31:07We raise to Titanic!
31:12Let's win it.
31:13Swing you round.
31:25And never let go see.
31:49Oh, no!
31:52Oh, no!
31:53Oh, my bum!
31:55William, my bum!
31:57I mean, if Flavio's a buttock, it is a broken.
32:04You!
32:05You hurt Flavio!
32:07You're a monster!
32:09Go on, get off this bitch!
32:12Get off!
32:13I've never met these people before in my life.
32:17It was him!
32:19What?
32:19Arrested!
32:21Or breathe butter calm!
32:23Get him!
32:24Yeah, he lost the Titanic!
32:28No!
32:29I can't go back to prison!
32:31Come on!
32:32Get out of here!
32:33You smashed the ice cream!
32:35Get out of here!
32:53Get out of here!
32:55Get out of here!
32:56Get out of here!
32:57What's that?!
32:58A cat?
33:00Or a ghost?
33:02A cat, ghost!
33:04What are you doing?
33:06Get out of here!
33:10Get out of here!
33:14Get out of here!
33:19Ma'am, pardon me but we met one night at the Tower of London.
33:25I was with my gran and we were trying to steal your crown jewels.
33:29You kindly pardoned us and I really need your help again now.
33:36Your Majesty? Your Queeniness? You're a wax figure?
33:48Where is it?
33:57Stop! Who are you?
34:07Please, I need to talk to you.
34:17Who are you?
34:19Hey!
34:41Hey!
34:41Hey!
34:42Hey!
34:47Follow that hang glider!
34:49What is this?
34:50James Bond?
34:51Please, before they get away.
34:53Right you are, Gov.
35:08That'll be 1270 please young man.
35:11I'm so sorry we don't carry money in the Secret Service.
35:14What? Oi! Come back here! Oi!
35:16Hey!
35:32That's the Social Securityà¸à¸‡ run!
35:32That goes to Queenie!
35:34Dawards!
35:37Mac.
35:46Look at the
36:13What do you have for dinner?
36:14Beef, obviously.
36:16Beef, beef.
36:34No!
36:36Who is that?
36:38Your Majesty.
36:41It was you?
36:47Who, may I ask, are you?
36:49It's me, Ben.
36:51I met you right here one night with my gran.
36:54Oh, yes, I remember.
36:57You tried to steal the crown jewels.
37:01You're back for another attempt.
37:03No, I followed you here.
37:04I found your wax figure.
37:06Drat!
37:07That was the perfect alibi.
37:10The world would think I was at the Palladium all night.
37:13They think it was me that stole everything.
37:16No.
37:17One will have to consider carefully what to do.
37:22Ma'am?
37:23No, shush, no.
37:24I'm thinking.
37:25No, it's just you're holding dynamite.
37:30Oh, yes.
37:32So one is.
37:33Piddlesticks.
37:40It won't go on.
37:45What can we do?
37:47We can't throw it out of the window.
37:49What about the beef eaters?
37:50What about the baby ravens?
37:56I have an idea.
38:17That was a big one.
38:19How did you know about this prippy?
38:21It was Toilet of the Week in Plumbers Weekly.
38:24I must get a subscription.
38:28Toodlepip.
38:29Hey, wait.
38:31I'm not going yet.
38:32You've got some explaining to do.
38:35Does one?
38:36Why is Her Majesty the Queen stealing her own crown jewels?
38:40Well, when I met your granny,
38:43I realised I had never done anything as daring as that in all my life.
38:49I mean, it's wonderful being queen,
38:51but one never ever gets a chance to do anything in the least bit naughty.
38:58So I suppose I did it for the thrill.
39:02You became the black cat?
39:05The new gangster granny?
39:07Yes.
39:09You stole the mask of Tutankhamun and the World Cup?
39:13I prefer the word borrowed.
39:16They're in my rucksack.
39:18There's a ton.
39:19Oh, I bet.
39:20One doesn't want to keep them,
39:22but with the nation's police force on high alert,
39:25it's becoming rather tricky to return them.
39:29Maybe I could help.
39:30Oh, splendid, Ben.
39:35Perhaps your granny could help too.
39:41Oh, Ben, I am so sorry.
39:45Yeah, I've been lost without her.
39:53The queen doesn't use tissue up her sleeve.
39:55All grannies do.
39:58It's a rule.
40:00Who goes there?
40:02Do it.
40:03Quick.
40:03Follow me.
40:05Follow me.
40:11No, the dance competition didn't go as well as we'd hoped.
40:17No, no, the outer Hebrides did put him in the door of my head.
40:20Yeah, she did bring shame on the outer Hebrides.
40:23And I blamed it on Ben and it wasn't his fault.
40:26Yeah, he did unfairly put all the blame on Ben.
40:30Where on earth is he?
40:32I don't know.
40:33Maybe it's not here, is he?
40:35I mean, what have we got?
40:36What have we done?
40:37What have we done?
40:38What have we done?
40:39What have we done?
40:39What have we done?
40:40What have we done?
40:41What have we done?
40:45It's certainly something one doesn't do very often.
40:49We need to go somewhere safe where we can make a plan.
40:53My place is swarming with guards.
40:56Can we go to yours?
40:58Oh, I'm in disgrace with my folks for breaking Flavio Flaviogi's bottom.
41:02Oh, such a lovely bottom too.
41:05Oh, like a perfectly ripe peach.
41:08Oh.
41:10We need someone we can trust.
41:14I know where to go.
41:17I've never been on a bus before.
41:19It's so exciting.
41:21Do they always stop by those little sticks?
41:23Well, they're called bus stops, but yeah.
41:26Right, this is our destination.
41:28Raj's news.
41:29Raj!
41:31Raj!
41:31Raj!
41:39Ben!
41:40Can you let us in, please?
41:43Who is that with you?
41:45Hello.
41:47Hello?
42:03Welcome, my most majestical majesty, my number one favorite customer of all time.
42:11Now, I do declare this shop open.
42:15Oh, I'm so sorry.
42:17It's a force of habit.
42:19Welcome.
42:31Help yourself, your majesty.
42:33Everything is price mark.
42:35Oh, one would pay, but sadly, one never carries cash.
42:40Get that woman out of here before she eats all my stock.
42:46We're in trouble.
42:47Big trouble.
42:48I stole the mask of Tutankhamun and the World Cup.
42:52And she borrowed them, and we need to put them back.
42:55Are you the black cat?
42:57For shizzle?
42:59Gangster Queenie.
43:02Boom!
43:03I think as long as we have Ben to help, we can return the loot.
43:07Wembley first, then the museum.
43:09What about your wax figure?
43:10Oh, drat.
43:12Well, I forgot.
43:13The one from Madame Dussauds.
43:14It was her alibi, but it's still in the royal box of the Palladium.
43:19Aha!
43:20Sounds like a job for the Radmobile.
43:22Oh, thank you, Raj.
43:24You're the best.
43:25Right, let's go.
43:27Oh, busy worms.
43:30Don't mind if one does.
43:33We need to get to Wembley.
43:37Are we getting another bus?
43:38Actually, I've got my own wheel.
43:40Just around the corner.
43:45Now we've got you.
43:50These biscuits are stale.
43:57How do we get in?
43:59Last time I landed on the pitch with my hang glider.
44:02I've got an idea.
44:04Plumbing based.
44:05Wembley Stadium has a brand new sprinkler system.
44:08And according to Plumbers Weekly, there's a maintenance hatch near here that leads straight to the stadium tunnel.
44:14But where's the hatch?
44:19I think you might be standing on it.
44:21I do.
44:28Come on.
44:30You're very brave.
44:32One is only old once.
44:34Right.
44:39One is only old once.
44:40One is only old once.
44:51One is only old once.
44:52One is only old once.
44:52One is old once.
44:52One is old once.
44:52One is old once.
44:53One is old once.
44:54One is old once.
44:56One is old once.
44:59One is old once.
45:03One is old once.
45:05Back in the jiffy!
45:13England!
45:15And Scotland!
45:17Wales!
45:18Northern Ireland!
45:19And all the nations of the Commonwealth!
45:27Come on!
45:29Her Majesty, the Queen scores the winning goal!
45:35Now you're mad!
45:44Come on!
45:56Ben, would you like to hold the World Cup before one puts it back?
45:59Nah, I'm not bothered about football.
46:01Oh.
46:14We need to go. Now. Come on.
46:17This way.
46:27Oh, no.
46:32Good as new.
46:33Well, well, well.
46:38It is I, Mr. Parker, your friendly neighbourhood watch leader.
46:45You're both under citizen's arrest.
46:48I knew you'd return to the scene of the crime like a kitten returning to its litter tray.
47:00Don't think you can get away.
47:15It's a fair cop.
47:19One is the guilty party.
47:21But the boy is innocent.
47:23Arrest me.
47:25And not him.
47:27Your Majesty.
47:28Can it really be you?
47:30Yes.
47:31And I'm ready to do my time.
47:33One has never been in jail before.
47:36Is it fun?
47:37No.
47:38I can't arrest the Queen.
47:39I will.
47:40Lock her up.
47:42Would anyone like a crisp?
47:44I brought them from home.
47:46I definitely didn't take them from the museum cafe over there.
47:51Can we get back to the matter in hand?
47:52And perhaps Her Majesty was just borrowing the things.
47:57Yes.
47:59For regal purposes.
48:02And we can say that I, Mr. Parker, of Lower Toddle, found the mask in a skip and returned it.
48:10Thank you, Mr. Parker.
48:13And in recognition of all you have done for neighbourhood watching, I would like to bestow a knighthood on you.
48:20For services to nosy parkering.
48:23Are you sure that's wise?
48:25I don't want to encourage him.
48:27Fetch me a sword.
48:32This is the greatest day of my life.
48:35Ah.
48:36The sword of Tiberius, no less.
48:41Neil.
48:42Thank you, ma'am.
48:44You're too kind, ma'am.
48:46I hope I'm not grovelling, ma'am.
48:48Just a little bit.
48:50Now.
48:52Arise.
48:53Sir Parker.
48:58And now I'd like to make a short speech.
49:00Sorry, Mr. Parker, there is no time.
49:03Sir Parker.
49:03We have to get to Madame Tussauds to meet Raj before it opens.
49:08I would like to thank all you old folk for all you do for our nation.
49:15If it was up to me, I'd lock you up and throw away the key.
49:19Charmed!
49:27New wax figure delivery.
49:28Who is it?
49:29Madonna.
49:30Get her in quick, please.
49:31You're about to open.
49:38There.
49:44You're about to open.
49:44Oh, blast and bother.
49:47What?
49:47One has to go on to another engagement.
49:50One can't possibly go to the stage opening of Parliament dressed as the Bert Man.
49:55This would look very fetching on you.
49:59It does.
50:01We could swap.
50:03Everybody, please turn round.
50:12Everybody, please turn back.
50:14That was quick.
50:16One has to be a quick dresser in this cave.
50:21Oh, Ben.
50:23This has been the most thrilling night of my life.
50:27And it's all thanks to you.
50:29It's been the most thrilling night of my life, too.
50:32Well, not forgetting the night that me and my gran stole your jewels.
50:36If it hadn't been for your grandmother, we would never have met.
50:40She was a remarkable lady.
50:42She was.
50:45I loved her so much.
50:48Oh, Ben.
50:50You still love your granny and you always will.
50:55And she will be with you forever.
51:00In there.
51:02Thanks.
51:04Me grannies know these things.
51:08Yeah.
51:19Oh.
51:21They are already open.
51:22And it's so conspicuous.
51:24What to do?
51:25Uh, pretend you're a wax figure.
51:26Oh.
51:28Oh, gee.
51:29It's the Queen.
51:30Oh.
51:30Old Mary England.
51:32Oh, I need a selfie to show the folks back home.
51:34Me too.
51:37She's much older than she looks on TV.
51:40So wrinkly.
51:42How dare you?
51:43It spoke.
51:44Say one more rude thing and I will order the invasion of America.
51:47Just one off of our new talking wax figures.
51:50Yeah, very realistic.
51:51A bit too realistic if you ask me.
51:55Right this way, River Queen.
52:06Farewell, Ben.
52:08And Mr. Raj.
52:09We couldn't have done it without you.
52:11You're welcome back to my shop anytime.
52:14With appropriate money, of course.
52:18Well, back to the day job.
52:21Taxi!
52:26Buckingham Palace, please.
52:28Thought you'd say that.
52:30I'll pin your match.
52:31Big fan, by the way.
52:33I've got all your stamps.
52:36Oh.
52:38So you are in the secret service.
52:46Ben.
52:47You better be off home.
52:49After what happened with Flavio and his bottom injury,
52:51my parents must be furious with me.
52:53They'll be worried sick about you, Ben.
52:56They love you.
52:58Raj knows it.
53:12Oh, hello there.
53:14My little guardian angel.
53:16Help!
53:18You've been looking out for me wherever I go.
53:20Oh, my Benny!
53:22Oh, son!
53:24I was so worried about you.
53:26I didn't know what happened to you.
53:28I didn't sleep a wink all night.
53:30And I only dozed off for seven or eight hours at most.
53:34Why didn't you come home?
53:36I thought you'd be mad at me because I let you down so badly with the dancing.
53:40Oh, Ben, look.
53:42We shouldn't be making you ballroom dance.
53:44It's not your thing.
53:46Plumbing's your passion.
53:48Yeah, we mean it this time.
53:49We want you to be the best plum man there is.
53:53It's plumber, but thanks.
53:55Oh, and I think Flavio's going to be okay.
53:57If he needs a transplant, I offered one of your father's buttocks.
54:01You did what?
54:02Oh, and Mum, Dad, I hope you don't mind, but we've just adopted a cat.
54:08Help!
54:11Hello, darling.
54:13Oh, come in, you.
54:16Come on, don't you go missing out there again.
54:19Oh, I miss you, son.
54:41What kind of valve do you use on larger pipes?
54:45Butterfly.
54:47Correct.
54:49You're doing very well, Ben.
54:51Most none of us have got a single question right.
54:54Oh, what time is it?
54:57Open the fruit jellies.
54:58It's time for our Queenie.
55:00Come on.
55:01Thank you, Ben.
55:09All of us can often feel that our lives have been mapped out for us.
55:16As if the accident of our birth dictated that we follow one path.
55:23Sometimes, whoever we are, we need to break out and follow our dreams.
55:35I'm gonna have another look at that dripping tap.
55:54The Queen's right, Ben.
55:57Granny, all you've got to do is follow your dreams.
56:02Like we did.
56:04I miss you so much, Granny.
56:07I know.
56:09But I'll always be by your side, Ben.
56:13Promise?
56:14I promise.
56:29Thank you so much for having me over for Christmas.
56:31I would have been on my own.
56:33Well, Isha, you're welcome any time.
56:35Well, no, not tomorrow.
56:37As we've got his cousins coming over and they eat us out of hers and home.
56:41Merry Christmas.
56:43Merry Christmas.
56:44Come on, you.
56:48Well, Isha, I better get you home.
56:54Unless...
56:55Of course, you feel like an adventure.
56:58What?
57:00Yes, please.
57:01I've never had an adventure.
57:08Where are we going to go?
57:10Wherever your heart takes you.
57:11Well then, Ben, let's burn some rubber.
57:14And follow our dreams.
57:15Yes.
57:21So kiss me on either mistletoe.
57:24Pour out the wine, let's toast and pray for December snow.
57:28I know there's been pain this year, but it's time to let it go.
57:32Next year you never know.
57:34But for now, Merry Christmas, Will.
57:38My dream is to be a war room dancer.
57:46Thanks to the Queen's magic touch.
57:49Flavio's battock is healed.
57:52Now, let's burn up the flower.
58:00The song is a character with real imagination.
58:05The song is a character with real imagination.
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