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Hot 2026🔥 Mommy I Don't Lie Anymore Englishsub 🍿 🍿 🍿 Sm
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00:01not because I actually lied but because of this thing on my wrist the Verity
00:06band mom was obsessed with science-based parenting so when my twin
00:12sister Emma and I were born she strapped these bands on us green light means
00:16truth red light means you're manipulating reality Emma's band always
00:22green she could literally cut up mom's designer dress and blame the cat and
00:27that little device would glow like a Christmas tree she'd say green light
00:32believe me I'd say mom I'm hungry and flash red light instant punishment and
00:42mom's punishment wasn't gentle no food locked in my room digital blackout no
00:48phone no Wi-Fi nothing she'd say the machine doesn't lie Stella starve now
00:55learn later I'm doing this for your own good after 10 years of this I started
01:01believing it too maybe I really was born wrong New Year's Eve everything changed
01:08my mom New Year's Eve everything changed mom was getting ready to take Emma to see
01:15the ball drop in Times Square and that's when the pain hit like a knife twisting in
01:21my gut I collapsed on the floor my skeletal frame curling into itself mom please it
01:29hurts the band flashed red she looked down at me disgust in her eyes nice try
01:35Stella faking sick to crash our night pathological she grabbed Emma's hand and
01:41headed for the door I wanted to scream but part of me thought maybe she's right the
01:49band is red so I must be lying I must not actually be in pain sorry mom I won't lie
01:55anymore but the pain got worse way worse New Year's Eve the door handle turned for
02:07one second I thought she's coming back she's a doctor she'll know something's
02:11wrong hurry up the fireworks are starting Emma's waiting please something's really
02:17wrong I feel like I'm dying she glanced at my wrist red light flashing like crazy she
02:26crouched down grabbed my chin forced me Stella how long are you going to keep this
02:30up can't you just be honest stay here and think about what you've done honey
02:36should we at least leave her some food mom stood up food she has a stash of snacks she
02:43bought with stolen money she won't starve brushing off her hands like I was dirt
02:47lock the door when that band turns green we'll talk but but what soft parenting
02:54is why she's like this look at Emma her band is always green Stella's just a
03:00compulsive liar she needs discipline but my closet was empty Emma stole that money
03:06Emma ate those snacks I tried to defend myself once I didn't take it either red
03:14light three days locked up with nothing but bread and water the Emma peeked through
03:21the door made a face at me that's us we're gonna see the pretty fireworks the door
03:27locked the house went silent just me alone the pain was unbearable but I kept
03:37thinking mom's right the machine doesn't lie the band is red so I must be lying I'm
03:45not in pain I'm not in pain I'm not in pain I'm not in pain I crawled to my desk
03:53I had to
03:54write that was the rule if the band glowed red I had to pen a thousand word apology
03:59essay or mom would never let me out I am a liar I opened my journal pages and
04:07pages of apologies I'd written over the years but this time I wanted to write
04:13the truth my vision blurred I could barely see my hand shook as I wrote mom I
04:21really love you it really hurts why won't you believe me please believe me
04:28just once the moment I finished the last word the pain vanished just gone I felt
04:36light weightless I looked down I was floating and there slumped over the desk
04:44was my body motionless the Verity band still flashing red on a dead girl's wrist oh I'm dead
04:54Emma I heard laughter mom dad Emma coming through the front door tonight's fireworks
05:02were amazing especially that smiley face one just like our Emma mom's voice was so warm I'd never heard
05:11her sound like that when she talked about me I wanted to help them take off their coats that's
05:16what I always did mom I reached out to hug her my arms passed right through her body like wind
05:25she
05:26shivered why is it so cold in here is the heat off I stood there staring at my transparent hands
05:33right
05:34dead people can't hug the living should we check on Stella dad said casually she hasn't eaten if she
05:42finds me dead will she be sad will she regret it
05:56still putting on an act think I'll carry you to bed Stella you're ten years old not five I
06:04screamed at her only two feet away mom I'm not playing I'm dead look at me touch me I'm freezing
06:14Emma squeezed past her held up her wrist with that smug little grin look my band's green Stella's is
06:22still red she's lying even in her dreams mom patted Emma's head that's my good girl ignore the liar let
06:31her
06:31stay there maybe she'll learn how to be honest dad peeked in should we at least put her in bed
06:37it's
06:37freezing put her in bed the parenting expert says cold treatment is the answer look at that red light
06:44she's still in full defiance mode come on we have to visit grandma tomorrow the door locked again I
06:51floated next to my corpse staring at that single point of red light in the darkness mom if you just
06:58stepped closer if you just touched my hand you'd know I was ice cold but you didn't still that night
07:07a rat crawled out of my empty closet I used to scream whenever I saw rats but now I just
07:13floated by the
07:14ceiling watching it scurry across my dead body it bit into my toe it's okay you can't feel it anymore
07:21it'll be over soon the next morning sunlight streamed through the window no warmth reached my
07:28body in the kitchen I could hear mom making breakfast the smell of bacon and eggs crept under my door
07:35my
07:36favorite but mom always said liars don't deserve meat so I only ever got steamed broccoli she was
07:44playing the pans extra loud on purpose trying to tempt me out trying to make me give in and apologize
07:51for
07:51things I never did in the old days I might have caved but I don't need food anymore Stella still
08:01hasn't come out that night Stella still hasn't come out dad asked reading his paper she is so stubborn
08:09she can eat or not I don't care Emma walked to my door and made a big show of sniffing
08:16the air then
08:17she screamed dramatically mom Stella's room smells gross did she pull the net mom stormed over pounding
08:26on the door Stella are you an animal the bathroom is right there did you seriously go on the floor
08:33just
08:33to spite me I remembered being six I had food poisoning couldn't make it to the bathroom in time
08:39soiled my pants mom didn't help me clean up she made me stand in the yard pointed at me and
08:46told the
08:46neighbors look at this she's such a mess she can't even use the toilet by herself now she thought I
08:53was
08:53dirty again leave her mom said waving her hand like she was swatting a fly let her sit in her
09:00own stink
09:01but dad stood up frowning that smells really bad I should check could be a dead mouse or something
09:08dad please open the door I'm right here I waved my transparent arms frantically dad's hand touched
09:17the doorknob still his phone was ringing dad's face went pale what the server crashed okay okay I'm on my
09:26way honey there's an emergency at work I'll be gone for a few days wait what about Stella he was
09:33already out the door if that call had come one second later I would have been found maybe then
09:40I wouldn't have rotted alone that afternoon mom took Emma shopping the house was empty except for my
09:47corpse when they came back that night loaded down with fancy lobster and gifts the smell had gotten worse
09:53mom gagged the second she walked in Stella are you trying to turn this place into a dump she didn't
10:00even open my door she grabbed duct tape and sealed the gap at the bottom you want to be disgusting
10:06fine
10:07spewing it don't stink up my house she patted her hands together satisfied then went to steam the
10:14lobster I stared at that sealed door my last shred of hope suffocated under that tape his phone was
10:22ringing by day three even the duct tape couldn't contain the smell mom was arranging fresh flowers
10:29trying to cover it up but the stench of death is unmistakable sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem
10:39too hard a
10:40thorn pierced her hand she snapped Stella she grabbed a rolling pin from the kitchen storm toward
10:48my room I'm done with you you disgusting little brat time you learned what real pain feels like don't come
10:56in mom please I'm decomposed you'll be scared even though she never loved me I didn't want her to see
11:04me
11:05like that but she ripped the tape off jammed the spare key in the lock bang the door flew open
11:13the smell hit her
11:15like a wall she stumbled back dry heaving Stella what are you doing by day three she saw me still
11:26slumped over
11:26the desk back turned not moving to her this was the ultimate rebellion I'm talking to you she marched over
11:36raised the
11:37rolling pin but stopped she wanted to see my face first wanted to see my defiant expression get up the
11:48moment she
11:48touched me she froze through the thin fabric her hand didn't feel warm flesh what but momentum carried her
11:58forward she yanked my body stiff as a board toppled backward taking the chair with it and there was my
12:07face on my blackened wrist the Verity band hung lifeless my journal slid off the desk fell open at mom's
12:16feet
12:16the last page stared up at her mom my stomach really hurts the band is broken I'm not lying please
12:26don't
12:26punish me she saw me mom screamed not a human sound a raw guttural shriek that tore through her throat
12:36she stumbled backward slammed into the bookshelf a vase shattered but she didn't seem to feel the pain
12:43she just stared at me eyes wide unblinking no no no no this is makeup special effects Stella get up
12:52I'm not
12:53mad anymore stop scaring me her hand reached out trembling to touch my arm the second her skin made
13:00contact with my corpse she recoiled like she'd been burned that cold was too real mrs lisa from next door
13:089-1-1-1 she'd heard the screaming when she saw what was in my room she collapsed in the
13:14hallway within
13:15minutes sirens police a medical examiner they pulled up the crime scene tape cameras flashed over my body
13:23mom sat on the couch a female officer's hand on her shoulder she was babbling she was faking she always
13:32lies
13:32the band was red machines don't lie I was just teaching her I was doing it for her own good
13:39no
13:39one responded they all looked at her like she was a monster the medical examiner crouched next to my
13:46body he muttered under his breath severe malnutrition organ failure this kid was starved for at least a
13:53month he carefully tried to remove the verity band but it had fused damn he cursed he had to use
14:02tools
14:03to pry it off even dead my soul flinched mom a cop picked up my journal put on gloves started
14:18reading mom's
14:19eyes locked onto that book suddenly she lunged for it that's her confession she admits she lied look she
14:27wrote it herself the officer pushed her back slid the journal into an evidence bag we'll determine
14:34what's true that's when dad got home he saw the black body bag being wheeled out on a stretcher saw
14:40the
14:41long zipper that sealed away my entire life his legs gave out he collapsed wet himself Emma stood
14:50nearby sobbing in confusion she pointed at the blood-stained verity band on the evidence table
14:56why is Stella's band black mine's still green see she held up her wrist the green light blinked cheerfully
15:05it was grotesque the cops started questioning mom in the living room she grabbed the verity band off
15:13the table like it was a life raft test it that band proved she was lying red light means lie
15:20I never
15:21abused her the machine told me I was just educating her the officer looked at her like she'd lost her
15:28mind ma'am the victim shows signs of extreme malnutrition that's discipline that's teaching
15:35her to be honest mom was shrieking now then she did something insane you don't believe me fine I'll wear
15:45it I'm not lying watch it'll be green she snatched the band still stained with my blood and bits of
15:52skin
15:53and jammed it onto her own wrist click locked the rubber pressed against her skin sticky cold she
16:04took a deep breath and tried to calm herself she needed to prove she was innocent needed to prove her
16:11parenting was right she held up her wrist eyes wild watch I'm Rachel I'm Stella's mother that's a
16:20fact absolute truth the red light exploded bright violent like a fresh wound tearing open mom's confident
16:31expression shattered she slapped the band like it was a broken TV what no I said the truth I am
16:40Rachel
16:40she started talking faster panic rising in her voice it's broken the examiner broke it let me try again I
16:48never abused her I did it for her own good I love her the red light flashed faster and suddenly
16:56she
16:57remembered me 10 years old getting the maximum punishment curled on the floor biting my lip so I
17:05wouldn't scream is this what it felt like mom lost it completely she started screaming at the band spit flying
17:14why is it red I'm telling the truth turn green you piece of junk you're framing me but the red
17:22light kept
17:23flashing like it was mocking her you're a liar you're a liar you're a liar the dad couldn't take it
17:33anymore
17:34this man who'd been invisible for 10 years who always stayed out of it he snapped he lunged at mom
17:42and slapped her
17:43across the face you monster what did you do that was your daughter you treated her like an animal mom
17:52fell to the floor blood at the corner of her mouth but she didn't fight back didn't cry she just
17:59stared
17:59into space muttering not my fault not my fault then her eyes landed on Emma cowering in the corner it's
18:08her it's Emma
18:10Emma Emma's band was always green Emma was the good one if it wasn't for that green light making me
18:16trust
18:16her I wouldn't have believed the red light so much this is Emma's fault all eyes turned to Emma that
18:23little princess we'd all protected the cop walked over gently removed the green Verity band from her wrist
18:30took out a screwdriver pried it open right there crack the plastic shell split inside no sensors no chips
18:41no heart rate monitor just two cheap LED lights and a watch battery the circuit was hardwired power on
18:49green light that's it this is a two dollar toy your younger daughter's band was factory set to always be
18:57green no matter what she said did or lied about it would glow green your so-called science-based
19:06parenting was a joke a sick biased joke dad couldn't take it anymore no mom suddenly screamed she clawed at
19:16the band get it off get it off it's red I'm not a liar I'm not but the class was
19:22jammed from her violent
19:23struggle wouldn't budge I can't get it off Stella take it back I'm sorry it's all my fault this little
19:31bit of pain and she was breaking mom I suffered for 10 years the cops needed an evidence for charges
19:39and
19:40you better so they opened my journal in front of my parents February 14th sunny mom put celery on my
19:47plate
19:48I'm allergic my throat swells I can't breathe I said I can't eat it but because I was scared of
19:54making
19:55her angry my heart raced red light mom said I was picky lying made me eat the whole plate that
20:04night I
20:04threw up blood my throat felt like it was on fire mom saw it and said I'd snuck tomato juice
20:10that I was
20:11faking she punished me for 10 more minutes mom's hand flew to her mouth she was shaking violently she
20:19remembered that night the officer turned the page June 1st children's day Emma cut up mom's dress Emma's
20:28heart rate is always slow green light I tried to explain but I was scared of getting beaten so my
20:35heart
20:35raced red light dad couldn't take it anymore this man who'd been invisible for 10 years who always stayed
20:44out of it he snapped dad couldn't take it anymore this man who'd been invisible for 10 years who always
20:53stayed out of it he snapped he lunged at mom and slapped her across the face you monster what did
21:01you do
21:01that was your daughter you treated her like an animal mom fell to the floor blood at the corner of
21:09her mouth but she
21:11didn't fight back didn't cry she just stared into space muttering not my fault not my fault then her eyes
21:20landed on
21:21Emma cowering in the corner it's her it's Emma Emma's band was always green Emma was the good one if
21:29it wasn't for that green light
21:30light making me trust her I wouldn't have believed the red light so much this is Emma's fault all eyes
21:37turned to Emma that little princess we'd all protected the cop walked over gently removed the green Verity
21:44band from her wrist took out a screwdriver cried it open right there crack the plastic shell split inside no
21:54sensors no chips no heart rate monitor just two cheap LED lights and a watch battery the circuit
22:02was hardwired power on green light that's it this is a $2 toy your younger daughter's band was factory
22:11set to always be green no matter what she said did or lied about it would glow green your so
22:19-called science
22:20based parenting was a joke a sick biased joke dad could I laughed laughed until I cried turns out ghosts
22:32can cry too the officer turned to the last page of the journal her voice broke the handwriting was a
22:40mess
22:41clearly written while dying mom if I die will the band stop glowing red or if it turns green will
22:51you hug me then I'm not lying my stomach hurts so much like knives next life please don't make me
23:01wear
23:01the band please mom stared at the shattered pieces of plastic on the table that green light she trusted
23:09without question a cheap piece of junk mom started laughing her voice cracking with every sound but it was
23:19the laugh of someone breaking worse than crying fake all fake I killed my honest daughter and I worshiped a
23:29liar
23:29she'd lost her mind for real this time I love my death became front-page news mrs. Lisa the neighborhood
23:40gossip posted
23:42everything online title girls starved to death by fake science band she described my corpse in detail the band fused
23:53to
23:53rotting flesh the internet exploded monster murderer she doesn't deserve to be a mother comments poured in
24:03like an avalanche someone doxxed mom our address got leaked people through red paint on our door wrote death in
24:13huge letters dad got arrested to neglect failure to protect he wasn't there when I died so he got off
24:22light but
24:23his company fired him immediately to avoid the PR nightmare our family went bankrupt sold the house the car
24:32everything to pay legal fees dad couldn't stand living with that psycho anymore he took what little money was
24:40left and emma and disappeared emma was a bad seed sure but she was still his blood before they left
24:50emma tried
24:50to take her green band dad stomped on it why the hell would you want that piece of trash emma
24:56cried as he
24:57dragged her away my dad mom got out on bail the psych eval said she had severe PTSD and psychosis
25:06they left her
25:07alone in that rental apartment the one that still smelled like death her mental state deteriorated fast she started
25:16talking to me like I was still there and she refused to take off the red light band to punish
25:22herself she'd added a
25:23shock device to it one that delivered a jolt the second the light flashed red she said the small shocks
25:30were the only thing that eased her guilt
25:32she'd cook a whole table of food then talked to the empty air she'd pick up a piece of meat
25:39her hands shook
25:41the band flashed red she was anxious she smiled but her eyes were empty mom's heart is racing mom's lying
25:51liars don't
25:53deserve food picked up a remote one she'd rewired to trigger the shock on her wristband and shocked herself it
26:02hurts
26:02it hurts is this what stella felt i'm sorry mom got out mom started reenacting my diary entries
26:12i couldn't eat celery because of my allergy so she forced herself to eat spoiled food until she vomited
26:19blood then swallowed it back down i was locked in isolation so she locked herself in my old room
26:26lights off and bowed to my photo until her forehead bled over and over blood on the floor
26:36late at night she'd see the red glow of the band reflected on the wall
26:41to her it looked like my bloody eyes watching she scribbled in red pen on the back of my journal
26:47i'm sorry i was wrong red light means pain red light means love please come back and say it hurts
26:56one more
26:56time i'll save you i promise too bad i'm dead dead people can't cry for help eventually the state
27:06intervened mom's self-harm got so extreme she nearly killed herself that they committed her
27:14she ended up in a psychiatric facility she was the strangest patient there she'd found a red plastic
27:22ring somewhere and wore it around her neck like a collar her homemade band if anyone tried to remove
27:30it she'd bite them like a rabid dog don't touch my light stella's watching she'll be mad if you take
27:37it
27:38she developed a pavlovian response rachel time to eat mom would touch her neck then start convulsing
27:45screaming red light red light don't punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food was scalding hot
27:53she'd gulp it down burning her esophagus wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my final moments
28:01living my hell on repeat mom started reenacting my diet years later emma grew up without proper
28:09guidance and with a trail of infamy behind her she ended up at the bottom of society
28:15when she ran out of money she remembered mom's still in that facility she showed up one day not for
28:22love
28:22for cash
28:31hey crazy lady dad's dead give me your hidden stash disgusting just like your dead daughter
28:40if you don't give me money i'll pull your tubes and send you to join her for a moment mom's
28:46cloudy
28:46eyes cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered that band that always green toy
28:55that decade of deception it was you mom's voice was gravel you lied you're the fake green light
29:04you killed stella give her back give her back the last shred of maternal love
29:13twisted into vengeance mom lunged grabbed emma by the throat die you should have died not her you
29:22help emma thrashed but couldn't break free from a mad woman's grip orderlies rushed in sedated mom
29:30pulled her off emma stumbled out of the room terrified they're all insane she bolted for the exit
29:40a truck plowed into her she survived barely both legs shattered beyond repair wheelchair for life
29:49a total wreck meanwhile mom was strapped to a bed staring at the ceiling tears streaming in her dreams
29:58she finally saw me i was 10 again no band white dress smiling mom
30:06mom she reached for me crying with joy stella but her hands sparked with electricity the second she
30:16touched me i burst into flames turned to ash no she woke up screaming heart rate through the roof
30:25if she'd been wearing that band it would have been blood red eternal torment
30:31years later i stood in the void watching it all mom in the facility emma in a wheelchair begging on
30:40the
30:40streets dad drunk and dead in some gutter i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat dead calm
30:53next to me was an old dog buddy my childhood pet mom threw him out years ago he'd been waiting
31:00for
31:00me at the boundary buddy nuzzled my leg barked twice as if to say let's go don't look back
31:10yeah time to leave this life was too bitter nothing worth holding on to
31:18i floated to mom's hospital room one final time she looked ancient hair completely white frail as paper
31:28she sensed something her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air right where i stood stella is that
31:37you her trembling hand reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the band i don't believe in it anymore
31:43come back please i'll cook for you no celery i'll buy you new dresses not emma tears rolled down her
31:52face i looked at the red marks on her neck from the homemade band i sighed reached out my cold
32:01ghostly
32:02finger touched her forehead sleep mom in sleep there's no pain a breeze blew through the room
32:10the old journal on her nightstand flipped open the last page my dying words stared up at the ceiling
32:19but below it in shaky handwriting were new lines written by mom during a lucid moment next life let me
32:28wear
32:28the band let me be the liar punish me however you want just don't leave me i stared at those
32:36words
32:37felt nothing too late repentance means nothing to the dead mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't love
32:48you either let's not meet again i turned away buddy wagged his tail in the distance a door of light
32:58appeared
32:58the gateway to the next cycle i looked at my wrist the phantom verity band still there even in spirit
33:09form
33:10i grabbed it it shattered into stardust i felt weightless free no red light no hunger no lies
33:21just freedom i flew morning came a nurse pushed open the door rachel time for your meds no response
33:30she walked closer rachel's hand clutched the torn journal a single tear crystallized at the corner
33:37of her eye on the heart monitor the wavy line had gone flat passing through the light wasn't violent no
33:45spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking into a spring stream even the lingering ache in my soul
33:52the phantom pains started to fade buddy pressed into my palm his fur wasn't translucent anymore
33:59it was soft warm real this was the living breathing connection i'd craved as a kid come on boy i
34:07held his
34:08paw and walked toward the brightness behind me the old life faded like a worn photograph mom's final
34:14tear the red glow of the band blood on the diary pages all of it blurred dissolved i didn't look
34:22back
34:22that 10-year nightmare was finally truly over passing when i opened my eyes again i was tiny wrapped in
34:32soft blankets someone was humming a woman's voice gentle off-key but full of love her fingers brushed my
34:42cheek the scent of gardenias not the sterile hospital smell of my old mom not the cold clinical distance
34:50i blinked up at her she had kind eyes a soft smile she cradled me like i was made of
34:57glass
34:59grace is awake she murmured honey come quick our daughter just blinked a man appeared tall a little
35:07awkward but his face lit up when he saw me he touched my tiny hand with one finger his voice
35:14was deep warm
35:16hey grace i'm your dad grace not stella no weight no chains no lies just grace sterling a name that
35:26meant
35:26something light something cherished when i opened this house was small but clean cozy cartoon stickers on
35:38the walls plants on the balcony sunlight pouring through the windows warm on the floor i realized
35:45fast this family was nothing like the last one they never forced me to do anything there were no verity
35:54bands i grew learned to crawl to talk and when i was three mom made sauteed celery the green stalks
36:03on the
36:04plate triggered me i flashed back to choking throat swelling vomiting blood i stumbled backward shaking
36:13tears came without permission mom immediately put down the spatula crouched pulled me into a hug
36:21grace grace what's wrong you don't like celery i couldn't speak just shook my head sobbing dad knelt too
36:30rubbed my back hey it's okay you don't have to eat it can you tell us why their eyes were
36:38patient gentle
36:40finally i choked out it hurts my throat makes me bleed they didn't say the machine doesn't lie
36:50they didn't accuse me of faking they took me to the doctor immediately turns out i really do have a
36:57celery allergy mild but it can flare up with stress after that celery never appeared in the house again
37:05mom even added it to her phone notes grace's allergies celery mango she checked every time she shopped
37:14i lay in her arms that night smelling gardenias and realized this is what it feels like to be believed
37:21love isn't measured by a machine it's listening even when the story sounds impossible this house was small
37:28when i was four preschool had a health screening blood draw i saw the needle and lost it flashes of
37:36the band
37:37burning my wrist flashes of starvation i screamed clung to dad's leg the teacher sighed grace it's just a
37:46little poke all the other kids were brave i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying
37:54dad immediately scooped me up shielding me from the nurse sorry he said firmly she's got trauma
38:02we'll skip this for now and take her to a pediatric psychologist on the drive home dad didn't scold
38:09me for being weak he just asked gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his
38:18shoulder tears soaking his shirt mom band red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded
38:31you've been through hell haven't you it's okay dad's here now no one's ever hurting you again
38:39from then on they took me to a child therapist regularly
38:44severe ptsd the doctor said my parents never complained never made me feel like a burden
38:51they played honesty games with me where i could say anything true or false and they'd just listen
38:58guide me gently toward the truth they bought me colorful bracelets but never forced me to wear them
39:05these are just accessories grace wear them if you want take them off if you don't we'll love you either
39:11way
39:12slowly i started to heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say i'm scared i
39:21could say
39:22i want that i didn't have to worry about my heart racing being evidence of a lie
39:29i started sharing my preschool stories with them i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i
39:36got
39:36praise i was finally just a kid a normal loved kid when i was four when i turned seven i
39:45started
39:46elementary school there was a girl in my class annie sullivan she looked exactly like emma same eyes
39:54but her hair was shorter and she was timid scared the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks
40:05emma's smug grin the green light mocking me i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down
40:14voice barely a whisper i'm annie do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to
40:23please just like i used to be i glanced at her wrist she wore a cheap green cartoon bracelet my
40:31stomach
40:32turned later i found out annie's mom was strict too demanded honesty locked her in her room without
40:40food when she made mistakes one day annie accidentally broke the teacher's mug she was trembling
40:47too scared to admit it i saw her face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself at
40:55that desk writing i'm a liar a thousand times i walked over took her hand annie it's okay accidents
41:05happen let's tell the teacher together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars are
41:14bad kids being honest isn't about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even
41:21if you tell the truth you shouldn't be punished for it if the teacher yells i'll protect you if your
41:27mom
41:28yells come to my house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had she confessed the
41:36teacher
41:36forgave her told her to be more careful next time from that day on we were best friends when i
41:43i brought
41:44annie home to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell didn't punish over little
41:52things i told her you don't have to make everyone happy you're allowed to feel things say things
42:02one day annie's mom came to pick her up from school she saw us together and her face twisted
42:10she grabbed annie's hand did you mess up again is grace covering for you annie immediately looked down
42:18i stepped in front of her ma'am annie didn't do anything wrong she's a good kid
42:26you shouldn't always assume the worst she's scared of you the mom froze looked at me then at annie's
42:36tear-filled eyes her expression softened that night she called my mom thanked her you're welcome said
42:46i'd opened her eyes over time annie's mom got gentler started listening instead of yelling and annie
42:57she blossomed confident we learned about happy i watched her laugh freely one day and felt this warmth
43:06in my chest i didn't get saved in my last life i suffered alone in the dark but this time
43:15i could save someone else i could stop another stella from happening maybe that's the gift my past life
43:23gave me the ability to see pain and to heal it when i was 10 my parents took me to
43:33visit grandma in the
43:34countryside there was an old tree in her yard just like the one at my old grandma's house
43:41i sat under it watching sunlight filter through the leaves buddy does next to me then i saw her
43:49an old woman white hair hunched over a cane wearing a faded blue shirt the second i saw her face
43:57i froze
43:59she looked exactly like rachel my old mom grandma noticed me too walked over slowly
44:06her eyes were hazy but there was something familiar in them what's your name child grace sterling she
44:15repeated it softly grace that's a beautiful name she reached out like she wanted to touch my hair
44:22then hesitated pulled back like she was afraid of disturbing something sacred my mom came over studied
44:29her mom this is our daughter grace so she was my grandma in this life
44:37over the next few days grandma watched me constantly her expression unreadable
44:43one day she brought me a bowl of steak burger
44:46grace eat up this used to be your favorite
44:49i stared at the bowl in my last life i wrote in my dying breath
44:54i want to eat mom's steak burger and here was grandma saying those exact words
45:01tears blurred my vision this wasn't some distant wish anymore it was real right in front of me
45:09i picked up a piece bit into it tender sweet perfect grandma smiled a tired guilty smile
45:20that night lying in bed with buddy curled at my feet i thought about rachel's last words next life
45:27let me be the one punished just don't leave me i thought about her final tear the torn journal
45:35honestly i didn't hate her anymore hating someone is like locking yourself in the past chewing on pain
45:43forever this life's happiness had already washed away the bitterness i just felt sad when grandma stayed for a month
45:53then went back home before she left she held my hand grace live well be happy her voice was soft
46:02but heavy with meaning i nodded you too grandma i watched her walk away and i felt nothing no anger
46:13no grief
46:15the grudges of my past life were like fallen leaves blown away by the wind i wasn't stella anymore
46:22the girl trapped by a red light i was grace sterling surrounded by love free
46:30grandma at 13 i graduated elementary school got into the best middle school in the city my parents
46:37took me to the beach to celebrate i stood at the edge of the ocean wind in my hair salt
46:42on my lips
46:44i stretched out my arms feeling the freedom for a moment i saw her my ghost self floating
46:52desperate to hug someone but passing right through grace what are you thinking
46:59dad handed me a soda i smiled just i'm grateful to be alive to be with you guys
47:08mom hugged me silly girl we're the lucky ones buddy chased the waves barking joyfully
47:16i looked at my parents my dog my future i finally understood the suffering of my past life taught me
47:25to
47:25treasure this one the pain taught me what love really means i didn't need to prove i wasn't a liar
47:32anymore
47:33i didn't need to fear red lights i could laugh cry speak freely
47:39i had parents who loved me a best friend a healthy body a bright future this was the life i
47:48died wishing for
47:49that night i wrote in my journal not the blood-stained confessions of my old life
47:56this one was full of happiness growth love
48:02i wrote today i saw the ocean it's huge blue free i thought about my past self
48:13that little girl locked in a room desperate to be loved she'd never believe that i could be this happy
48:20mom and dad love me they taught me honesty and bravery annie is my best friend now she's confident
48:29and bright grandma's healthy she calls me often buddy's still a goofball always nudging my hand
48:38i don't hate anyone anymore i don't cling to the past those painful memories are like footprints in the sand
48:48washed away by waves but they taught me to cherish every step forward i know my old mom sister and
48:56dad
48:56got what they deserved and i finally broke free i found real freedom i don't want to see them again
49:05i don't want to relive that life i just want to be grace sterling simple happy loved that the ocean
49:18was
49:18beautiful life was beautiful i closed my journal looked out the hotel window moonlight shimmered on
49:27the water like a thousand stars buddy's breathing was soft and steady beside me i smiled
49:35this life i finally became who i wanted to be no red lights no starvation no lies just love
49:47freedom happiness and those scars from my past they became badges of survival reminders that no matter how
49:57much darkness you face if you don't give up on the light you'll find your way to warmth to freedom
50:05the road ahead is long but i'll walk it with courage with joy towards something even brighter
50:15the ocean
50:16you
50:17you
50:17you
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