00:00I really appreciate you guys coming to this new hour of material because I know it's a lot of God
00:03stuff and a lot of gay stuff and my agents are nervous.
00:09I started doing stand-up in churches. They called the testimony, but I was getting laughed.
00:15Easter's a better story than Christmas, in my opinion. It's where all of our merch is from. You've seen it.
00:21Christmas is not as good a story. It's just a long walk to a barn.
00:25Jesus is barely in it. He comes in right at the end. He does zero magic.
00:30Jesus is basically the post-credits scene in a Marvel movie. It's trash.
00:36If you have depression, you have a pretty complicated relationship with death.
00:41You sort of look at death like it's the Phantom of the Opera. You're like, oh, that's scary.
00:45But then sometimes you're like, I mean, that side of his face is kind of hot.
00:49Coming out as bisexual at 30 feels like saying to a waiter, by the way, it's my birthday.
00:54You're like, cool, sing to yourself. You're a grown woman.
00:58I started dating this girl who was so hot. I was like, oh my God, am I Pete Davidson?
01:09When I started dating women, it was the closest I'd come to feeling religious in a long time.
01:14My friends would complain about their boyfriends and husbands.
01:16And I was like, oh, have you heard the good news?
01:22You don't have to live like this.
01:24I was like, oh my God.
01:28You know what?
01:32I was like, no.
01:33I stayed with you.
01:34I was like, oh my goodness.
01:41I was like, oh my goodness.
01:42You
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