- 8 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
02:43I'll show you something.
02:45Australia, who here, likes the black Ute?
02:51Who here, likes the white one?
02:57Australia prefers white cars but what do you do with them well everybody knows the true measure
03:05of a youth ability is how long you can do a burnout for yeah isn't that right ladies and
03:10gentlemen yeah yeah a burnout yeah 11 to show you permit us to demonstrate what is incredible over
03:18here ladies and gentlemen is that we have managed to get an entire rhinoceros through a letterbox
03:25and you're going to see which one of you can leave the longest number 11s is on the road yes
03:30correct
03:31this is a very important system we use this to choose our prime minister all right gentlemen in
03:36three two one go
03:44the white holden laid down the most impressive trail of rubber and then in a drag race back the
03:51other way it won again
03:57right excellent well done chaps well done pizza and shano we understand now we've got it
04:05in truth though we couldn't see what the fuss was about but so as not to offend our hosts we
04:11agree to have a go ourselves to be fair if this if they're going to drive utes we should have
04:16some
04:16tools in these cars shouldn't we oh mate we've got two massive tools in these cars trust me
04:22right so i just press the accelerator and we begin do we yeah three two one go
04:32bloody hell fire
04:36now jeremy you're coming up to the first point that you should be straight right there that's the way
04:45jeremy clarkson ladies and gentlemen i think he's getting it i think he's starting to get it
04:50tell you what this is a bloody good laugh got some smoke there i can't see another opportunity jess
05:01i think i might have to get one of these
05:07from now on i want you all to call me bruce
05:11oh yeah
05:13well that is amazing
05:17that's really brilliant
05:22here we go
05:26i think we've just proved that jeremy's a better australian than me
05:36ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for a couple of nigels that finally get it
05:46having watched some sunburned englishmen slithering about the crowd were now eager to see some actual
05:51skill so we unwrapped this the 2011 world championship winning red bull formula one car
06:02complete with homegrown driver
06:06unlike us weber hadn't come here to mess about
06:09he was determined to set a new lap record on the sydney motorsport park
06:16so whilst his mechanics prepped the car jeremy and i offered to help him with some driving tips
06:23if i could hand over to james to explain how some of the corners work
06:27hi mark thanks for coming
06:28what's wrong
06:28um it's very important really that you know your way around the circuit
06:32yeah fair enough
06:33because it allows you to go a bit faster
06:34uh the most important bit is
06:36this long straight bit which we call the start finish straight
06:41give it the absolute berries down here get it right up into fifth gear
06:44okay there's no need to lift at all on that
06:46then you get into this uh left-hand curve which is known as turn one
06:50right up and then here this bit again is straight
06:52a bit of beans but then you get to a really very tight turn
06:56i've remembered turn one so this is turn two i should
06:59definitely can't do this one flat out
07:02you're going to need to press the brake pedal
07:04now this is called a hairpin
07:06it's so cool because it looks like the closed end of a hairpin
07:09um and you'll be required to clip the apex
07:12it doesn't it doesn't matter where you do it it doesn't make any difference
07:15but it looks good on the tally because the tires hit the curves and bounce up a bit
07:18yeah then it goes down here
07:20and it does something like this
07:21hmm it's getting confusing now
07:26then you gotta be a bit careful because
07:29um there's a right-hand turn
07:31you said that was a right-hand turn
07:34oh yeah i meant left
07:35he gets muddled
07:36and then it sort of does this
07:37it just wiggles around
07:38yeah
07:40while i was finishing my drawing
07:42jeremy explained to mark about how to use the brakes
07:46you turn into the corner okay
07:48i want you to have your foot on the brake obviously because you've got to slow down for the corner
07:51not turn one you don't have to there
07:53and then you feed the brakes off
07:56it's quite a natural thing to do
07:58so that by the time you get to that the apex as we call the middle of the corner on
08:03the inside
08:04you'll be off the brakes and this will have balanced the car
08:07yeah right you'll find it it could give you some valuable intense and then not long after that
08:13looking to get on the throttle definitely as soon as and it it's hard to explain this
08:19it's knowing how much grip you've got now i can tell obviously but it's there's a thing it's
08:25it's like teaching someone how to smell you have to sense how much grip you have a few handy
08:32pointers if you don't mind there's a key on here f me a capital f means fast like the main
08:37straight fast as you like small f means not quite so fast no no no it's a big f yeah
08:42but it's flat
08:42that you won't be going quite so fast maybe feather feather feather okay call it feather b means
08:48brakes you will need the brakes there you'll need a little bit of break there a little bit of break
08:51there i would have thought b was for balls well you will need balls okay right now so breaking
08:56brake stroke balls brake stroke balls right yeah and remember what i was saying about
09:02trail braking so tp as well yeah trail braking you do need tbbb do you left foot brake or i
09:09haven't
09:09worked out either yet what do you think on that left if you can do it i mean it's a
09:13skill it is
09:14quite skillful i mean because what a lot of people do is they muddle it up with the clutch i've
09:19put it
09:19in brackets so it's lf tbbb's left foot possibly trail brake if i could just i hope you don't mind
09:26it's
09:26really what it is is so let me just talk you through if you've got if you've got a corner
09:31like
09:31this okay yeah yeah you're coming along here i want you to start breaking for here say yeah i've got
09:37that you're going to be off the brakes here yeah you with me yeah this is the apex right here
09:43apex is
09:44the corner corner you know sometimes if you've got a shallower corner like this it's obviously you can
09:50go on and on and on where is the apex you know you know and it's the same that way
09:54you know is it
09:55here here here here here here here you just there's no way of knowing where the apex is no i've
10:01got that
10:01what sort of speed do you think you'll be able to go in your 180 mile an hour yeah something
10:05like that
10:05yeah 180 yeah if you drove that fast you'd be a maniac a lunatic you don't want to be going
10:10180 miles an
10:12hour that's madness 60 or 70 trail braking maybe just bear that diagram i've done in mind though about apex
10:19i've
10:19got that and as you approach the bends recite it like a little mantra in your head lf possibly in
10:24brackets stroke tb stroke b stroke b and best of luck hey thanks for the lessons guys i really appreciate
10:29that because it is your home crowd here you know we want you to do well we need to turn
10:34it on and you
10:34know and you guys are in great shape so you know what you're doing so the briefing had gone on
10:39for so
10:40long that the organizers had had to send out for more beer
10:46but then mark suited himself up settled into his car and roared out onto the track determined to
10:55beat the existing lap record of one minute 17. so as he bears down on the start line let's hit
11:04the stopwatch
11:04and ride with him
11:06so
13:08As the day went on, the crowds kept on coming to soak up the action.
14:08Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Joseph.
14:34All right, Paul.
14:35Fantastic, mate.
14:36Here we go.
14:37In three, two, one, go.
14:41Here we go.
14:43Here we go.
14:48Oh, yes!
14:51Paul's done.
14:51Here we go, sir.
14:52Paul!
14:53But Paul's challenge wasn't over because we then decided to give him one very big and very
15:00fast hurdle.
15:01Well, I think we might have a spare Lamborghini Michelago.
15:10Now, ladies and gentlemen, you truly are about to see the launch of a new Olympic sport where
15:15you're about to see a human become a Lamborghini hood ornament.
15:21You all right to go, buddy?
15:23He's good.
15:23He's good.
15:23Okay.
15:24Do it in your own time, but do it now.
15:25In three, two, one, go.
15:36Oh!
15:37Paul Joseph!
15:40Paul Joseph!
15:41That is how you celebrate.
15:43Ladies and gentlemen, put it together for Paul Joseph.
15:46We've got to say, a magnificent effort, mate.
15:48We literally pulled Paul out of the crowd 20 minutes ago.
15:51Exactly right.
15:52Of which he had 15 minutes with James May learning how to jump and he's done it.
15:56Look at that replay.
15:57I've got to say, you leave it very, very late, mate.
15:59He is very happy because he didn't die.
16:05Because Paul's airborne action had clearly gone down so well, I decided next to wheel out
16:12a stunt plane.
16:16This is an MXS-R.
16:19Extremely light, 500 kilograms.
16:20It is extremely manoeuvrable because you'll notice there is no dihedral on the wings.
16:26They're straight and level.
16:27It also has a symmetrical aerofoil.
16:29It's the same shape on the top of the wing as it is underneath.
16:32So it can fly upside down as well as the right way up.
16:35Desperate not to be outdone, Jeremy then brought out his own toy.
16:40What we have here is a V8 supercar driven by four-time champion, Jamie Windcup.
16:50Ladies and gentlemen, has come among us.
16:52He's here.
16:55Since they were both lined up side by side.
16:58Three, two, one, go.
17:02We decided it would be a brilliant idea for the plane and the car to race each other round the
17:07track.
17:11I think we started this match with me already 1-0 down.
17:16A race which, as it turned out, was utterly incomprehensible to the crowd.
17:24Where's he going?
17:25Oh.
17:29And our commentary didn't exactly clarify matters.
17:32Left-hander onto the straight.
17:34No, sorry, no, that's not the straight yet, is it?
17:36That's that wiggly bit that I always forget.
17:38The plane is having to drive around as best he can, as he wiggles around pointlessly.
17:44Eventually, out of all this gibberish, came a victory for the plane.
17:48Oh, the plane is already here, look.
17:52Oh, damn it.
17:54Damn it, the plane, ladies and gentlemen, has threw the car.
17:59Now, the thing is, Aussies don't like seeing their V8 supercars being beaten.
18:06So, Shane then stepped in and insisted on another race.
18:11And, to be honest, I got the feeling he was stacking the odds.
18:16What we have at one end of the track is a massive 14-ton digger.
18:21And behind the wheel of it is none other than Captain Slower himself, James May, everybody.
18:26Hello.
18:27Now, James, I've got to ask the question, do you know how to drive that thing?
18:31Well, how hard can it be?
18:32There's a few knobs, but I think I've got them in the right position, so I'm ready.
18:36To be fair, the car still had a challenge on its hand.
18:40Because, once the flag dropped, all I had to do was trundle down to the finish,
18:45which was the white line some 600 metres along the straight.
18:51Jamie, however, would have to do a full lap of the 2.8-kilometre circuit.
18:58So, here we go. We're going to throw to the starter, folks.
19:00What will win? Komatsu or V8?
19:03In three, two, one, go.
19:08And we're off.
19:13That's Jamie Winkup, ladies and gentlemen.
19:16Almost right through turn one.
19:17How are you going, James?
19:19Well, I'm nudging 30 kilometres an hour.
19:22Wow, it may take the hour.
19:27Since my spectacle was, frankly, pretty dreary,
19:31the cameramen wisely concentrated on Jamie.
19:39James, is the good news, you know, if we do have an accident,
19:42are you thinking of cleaning it up yourself?
19:43Yeah, absolutely. I can even clear myself up in this.
19:58I can't tell you how odd it looks seeing this Pommy driving this Komatsu
20:03with his hand out the window.
20:04Oh, it's like being the queen.
20:10By now, I'd covered an impressive half a kilometre,
20:14and certain victory was just 100 metres away.
20:18Come on!
20:26But then came a message from Shane.
20:29James, I've just got a message from Jamie.
20:31Yeah, stay left.
20:34Oh, cock.
20:36Just be beat.
20:40Well, ladies and gentlemen, could it ever get better than that?
20:43Oh, God, we hope so.
20:45Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. James May, continuing to be Captain Slow.
20:53After that crushing defeat, I sloped off,
20:57leaving Jeremy to try and restore some dignity for Team TGGB.
21:02Top Gear, a new series started recently,
21:05and in it, I designed, conceived, engineered and built
21:08what was the smallest ever road-legal car.
21:12It's called the P45, and if you haven't seen it,
21:15we've got a clip of it here, which we can show to you.
21:20Yes, look at this, look at this.
21:22Very brilliant.
21:24Oh, my God!
21:27If you're watching this in the edit,
21:28make sure that doesn't go on television
21:30when people think it's a death trap.
21:32Oh, it happened again!
21:34Edit that out as well.
21:37Extremely scary, as it turns out.
21:40Thank you so much.
21:42However, I have decided that here,
21:45at the Top Gear Festival in Sydney,
21:47I would build a car that was even smaller than the P45,
21:52and we have it here, under this drape,
21:55ready to be unveiled.
21:57Oh, yeah, we're ready.
21:58Are you ready for this?
21:59Oh, yeah.
21:59Ready, steady, check it out!
22:03What is it?
22:04Well, look, mate, what we've got here at the front,
22:07cowboy boots, jeans, leather jacket,
22:11simply lift it up, and get in,
22:16and there you go.
22:17So it's a wheeled U.
22:19Yes.
22:20Is it, what is it, pedal-powered?
22:22Of course it's not pedal-powered.
22:23I've got all these controls here on the steering wheel, okay?
22:27And if I jiggle them about, yeah?
22:30Yeah.
22:31You'll hear some noise coming out of the back.
22:33Can you have a look there?
22:34Oh, so they're exhausts?
22:36No, they're jets.
22:37Oh, so it's a jet-propelled U.
22:39Yes, it's jet-propelled me.
22:41So you think this is small?
22:43It's very small.
22:44But you don't think there's anything smaller?
22:46Couldn't possibly make it smaller.
22:47Really?
22:48Yeah.
22:48Yeah, all right.
22:50Let's find out.
22:51Ladies and gentlemen,
22:52a German sitting on a jet.
22:55A round of applause for Dirk Auer.
22:58Have a look at, look at this.
22:59Holy moly, that is small.
23:01That is small.
23:02He's just sitting on a jet with his up his anus.
23:05How fast does that thing go?
23:07How fast do you go?
23:10It goes 100.
23:11It goes 100.
23:11How fast can you go?
23:12That's 700 kph by the time I go to Perth.
23:15Really?
23:16Yeah.
23:17Are we having a race?
23:18You're going to have a race.
23:19I'm on full thrust.
23:20You ready?
23:223, 2, 1, go.
23:24Yes.
23:25Ha ha.
23:26Eat my peach, German man.
23:29Have you ever seen this?
23:31It's a jet propel Jeremy Clarkson.
23:34I'm really starting to pick up speed now.
23:37I am going to win this,
23:40and I'm going to win it easily.
23:42What the hell?
23:44The jerry's knocked past me at the last moment.
23:47How is he doing that with a jet up his anus?
23:51And James, I can't stop, mate.
23:52Have you got a break?
23:54James, I'm really struggling here.
23:57Is that...
23:58Oh, my God.
23:59He can't stop.
23:59To be killed.
24:02All right.
24:04I think that's the end.
24:05I think Jeremy Clarkson just died.
24:07The crowd was devastated on hearing of this tragedy.
24:12But then the stick came out in a McLaren to do a lap,
24:15and Jeremy was quickly forgotten.
24:18In three, in two, in one, go.
24:33The McLaren has a 3.8 litre V8 twin turbo pumping out 592 brake horsepower.
24:41It also has an active rear wing to provide immediate downforce in the corners.
24:45The combination of these things allowed the Stig to take the McLaren around the short track in a blistering one
24:51minute, 13 seconds.
24:54Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together.
24:56It can hear you in the car.
24:58For the Stig!
25:03Ignoring the applause, the Stig dashed off to punch a kangaroo.
25:10And I turned my attention to this, the 8 horsepower, 105 cc Honda CT 110, which in Australia is used
25:20by postman to deliver the mail.
25:23The problem is, though, Aussie posties are known for being a bit slow.
25:29And that gave us an idea.
25:32How could we speed up the Australian Postal Service?
25:37The problem isn't with the bikes.
25:39The problem is with the postman.
25:41They need to be a bit more committed, because if they just braked a bit later in front of your
25:46house,
25:46or maybe they held the power on a bit longer through the corners.
25:50So what you're saying is that they've got to put their knee down.
25:52That's what you want them to do, isn't it?
25:54Exactly right.
25:54They've got to get their knee down.
25:56So, ladies and gentlemen, we have for you today, for your viewing pleasure, the first ever, the inaugural All-Australian
26:05Postie Motorcycle Grand Prix.
26:08Should we get them out?
26:09Should we get our riders?
26:10Ladies and gentlemen, give them a warm welcome to Australian three-time Superbike Champion, Sean Giles.
26:18Next up, he's already setting fastest laps in the Superbike Series, it's Glenn Scott.
26:25Next up, folks, stunt legend, Matt Mingay.
26:30And last but not least, we have 125 National Champion, Josh Hook.
26:37Excellent.
26:37Now, this is very exciting.
26:39Look at these thoroughbred machines, ladies and gentlemen.
26:42I think they have four speeds, no clutch.
26:45Designed originally so that you could ride around Japan with one hand on the throttle and the other carrying a
26:50bag of noodles.
26:52But here they have been designed so that the postman can ride around with one hand and have a fag
26:57or talk on his phone about what he's going to do when he knocks off at 10.30.
27:01With the bikers all astride their hair dryers, they were ready for a three-lap race.
27:06In, three, two, one, and they're off!
27:12And here he goes!
27:14Cowboys!
27:15That is just an incredible spectacle.
27:18Portrait of men at work.
27:23Never have four men had so little between their legs.
27:27But as our commentators discovered, that didn't stop them putting on a good performance.
27:36Yeah, taking it wide up the side there as well as Matt Bingay goes, let's get to the top.
27:41No, he's actually right in the middle at the back.
27:43Yeah, very, very tight racing and he's pedaling very, very hard.
27:47He's going to go for the win of the three laps, of course.
27:49Any aerodynamic advantage they can keep is like, well, pedal hard, we're going to get there eventually.
27:54And as they come around the next corner, look at the lean.
27:57Let's see the knees go down and see how much aerodynamics they can go.
28:01They're getting really close here.
28:03One foot out there.
28:04Now we want to see the knees, guys.
28:12We've got Josh Hook, who's coming up into third now into second.
28:15He's saying, I can take you on the outside.
28:17Oh!
28:19A little bit of hip and shoulders forcing Matt White.
28:21Surely that's going to be a penalty from the stewards.
28:24I don't know about any penalties on this one.
28:26I think it's all in for themselves.
28:28Is that Matt Midgay out in front now?
28:30Oh, it's a bit of biff and barge going on down the line.
28:33They're getting pretty serious about this.
28:34I thought they were meant to have a bit of fun.
28:36Oh, a little bit of a touch, a little bit of a rub.
28:38Oh, they've kept it all nice and honest there.
28:39I think that might have been Josh Hill just letting Matt know
28:42that he's going to get himself up in a second and done so successfully.
28:44And Glenn Scott in the lead.
28:45No, hang on.
28:46I'm just trying to work out who is in the lead.
28:48We've got Josh Hook now taking the lead as they come back across the main straight.
28:53Back down to the boys on the straight.
28:55Now, Steve, this is absolutely fascinating.
28:56I've just been told in my ear from race control that this is the first time anyone has ever seen
29:02the indicator being used on an Australian postal bike.
29:05A bit of diversionary tactics there, James.
29:08He's going, I'm going to pass on the left and dives to the right.
29:10Here we go.
29:11Tucked down off the bar.
29:13They are divided by less than one second clearly.
29:17I think the difference between first and second we're being told was eight one hundredths of a second.
29:21That is unbelievably close.
29:23Back to the commentary team for the rest of the lap.
29:25Yeah, absolutely it was, Steve.
29:26There was the old cigarette paper across the two as we see.
29:30Have a look at Glenn Scott doing his best flying nun impersonation.
29:35Hang on a second.
29:36We've got hand signals going out now as well.
29:40He's telling them it's one beer after work.
29:42Oh, it's one beer after work.
29:43That's what the Hensicle was, I'm sure.
29:45Yeah, well, Matt now has gone towards the back of the pack as we see Glenn Scott come through to
29:50the front.
29:51And obviously a technique that has helped these bikes incredibly is if you bounce them along.
29:56Alright, we're looking now at Glenn Scott has taken the lead and saying, I'm going to hang on this time.
30:01But Josh Hook is now saying, no, you're not. I'm going to go through to the front.
30:07He's certainly going to have a red hot go.
30:09Matty Mingay on the inside turn this time round.
30:12And we're going to hand back to James and Steve.
30:14No, Steve, there is virtually nothing in it as they make their way onto the straight for the last time.
30:19This is, in fact, the run to the chequered flag, James.
30:22Who's going to get it?
30:23That looks like Josh in the lead, I think, from Glenn.
30:28Oh, it's too close to call.
30:31Oh!
30:34Glenn Scott has won, ladies and gentlemen, by a fingernail, I think, by the look of it.
30:41Here's our winner.
30:43Folks, give it up for Glenn Scott. He's only 21 years old. Brilliant.
30:48Well done. Well done, Glenn.
30:50You've won as your prize a job with the Australian Postal Service.
30:53So if you'd like to go around the back of the podium, you can pick up your uniform and your
30:57big stack of we called but you were out cards.
31:02After that race, the crowd were in the mood for something more intellectual. So we sent out some dragsters.
31:14And the highbrow stuff just kept on coming.
31:19Come on, ladies and gentlemen, give them a round of applause. Matt Mingo and the crew.
31:27They're not custom bikes. They're specials. It's a subtle difference. And the guy who set it up also makes...
31:33We are clear to go on the track. There's any pristine conditions.
31:44I think that's interesting about the Deus operations, isn't it?
31:47Yeah, that was a good shot. From Jeff and Todd, with me.
31:56Whilst all this was going on, we discovered that, sadly, Jeremy had survived his jet-powered race
32:01and wanted to carry on entertaining the crowd.
32:06Now it's time for the big one. The most important question in motoring.
32:11Which is faster, a Nissan GT-R or a woman?
32:17Everywhere I go in the world, I'm asked this question. Well, today, we're going to find the answer.
32:23OK, so first of all, we need the car. Let's bring it out.
32:27Nissan GT-R, here it comes, purring along. 485 horsepower, four-wheel drive.
32:34And in a 16-metre drag race, the fastest road car in the world.
32:39I know I've tested that. Unbelievable launch control in it.
32:43The only car that, when it accelerates, it actually hurts.
32:47Now, we're going to need a woman.
32:51Now, don't worry. We haven't cheated.
32:52We're not going to get some massive dump truck in leggings to come along.
32:57Would you please put your hands together for Michelle Jenica,
33:02who's very sportingly wearing a bikini.
33:05Right, Michelle, you're a hurdlist.
33:07Yes, I am a hurdler.
33:09A hurdler. Let me tell you how it goes.
33:11OK.
33:11It's a 100-metre sprint. Now, how fast could you do 100 metres normally?
33:16My best is 12.05.
33:1712.05. This is a little bit different.
33:20We're going to start here on the line.
33:22We're going to race to the 50-metre board there,
33:25which is by the 200-metre board, just to make it complicated.
33:28OK.
33:28At the 50-metre board, you will turn around and run back,
33:31so the start line is also the finish line.
33:34Got it.
33:35I will drive down, sitting down, obviously, because I'm very, very lazy,
33:38to the 50-metre board, engage reverse, not easy, actually, in a GT-R,
33:42and then reverse.
33:43And the winner is the one who is the least run over.
33:47OK.
33:48Now, you have actually got a fairly well-known to internet, boys,
33:53routine for getting ready for a race.
33:56Yes, I do.
33:56You do your routine.
33:58Yep.
33:58I'm going to get in the GT-R and do mine, which is setting the launch control.
34:01OK.
34:01All right, you do that.
34:02I know that a gentleman wouldn't use launch control at a time like this,
34:06but I'm not a gentleman, so I shall be.
34:10OK, right.
34:12That's the warm-up routine.
34:14You can see it on the internet.
34:16I'll just sit here and just watch this, actually.
34:20Or should we have a race?
34:23Right.
34:24I'm in drive.
34:25I've got the three central buttons down.
34:27I'm going to pull both paddles together.
34:29Left foot on the brake.
34:30OK.
34:35Oh, yes.
34:36I am in the lead.
34:38Past the 50-meter board.
34:40Into reverse.
34:41Oh, she's back in the lead.
34:44Come on, car.
34:45Oh!
34:46Yes!
34:51Sorry about that.
34:54A loser!
34:57Ladies and gentlemen, give her a massive round of applause for being a great sport.
35:04The question is, did Jeremy organise that rather pointless race
35:08just so he could see Michel's warm-up routine?
35:11We'll never know.
35:14But no matter.
35:15Because in the pits, I had met one of my all-time heroes.
35:19Two-time MotoGP World Champion, Casey Stoner.
35:24A few years ago, there was a bit...
35:26You were aged 12 or 13, and you entered a big...
35:29This was in Australia.
35:30A big racing day, and there were something like five categories,
35:3437, 38 races.
35:36You rode in every category in every race,
35:38and you won all but three or four of them,
35:40and you won all five titles on that day.
35:43Is that right?
35:43I turned 12 only just a week before, or two weeks before, I think.
35:47And, yeah, we ended up winning all but three races out of 35,
35:51and took home all five championships.
35:53So it was a good weekend, but tough.
35:55So somebody at that point said this Casey Stoner boy is worth watching.
36:00There's a question which I know thousands of people out there will be asking,
36:04car drivers mainly.
36:05Are motorcycle racers basically insane?
36:09You know, I think to a certain degree we are.
36:11Half the thing that's difficult to overcome with bikes is actually the fear.
36:16You know, you start to crash when you start to push limits.
36:18You know, you lock a front on a car, you run wide.
36:21You lock a front on a bike, you go down.
36:24Casey's comparison about racing a car and a bike was most timely,
36:29because that was exactly what we planned to do next.
36:33Specifically a shootout between his bike, a V8 supercar, and this.
36:45And the drivers won't too shabby either.
36:47Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome onto the track as they make their way around
36:51Mark Webber, Jamie Winkup, and Casey Stoner.
36:57Now, Jamie, I hate to illustrate your sort of weakness here at the moment,
37:01but you do have an advantage in some ways,
37:02because you weigh nearly one tonne more than these two guys combined, don't you?
37:07So you can use your car as a bit of a battering amp.
37:09If they get in your way, just feed them a wheel and send them off the track.
37:12I won't be looking, I'll just be making sure I don't run over the poor bike.
37:15Mate, you can not only shut the gate, you can give them a wall.
37:18Now, how long can you stay still on the track in this kind of heat
37:21before it's a problem for the car? It's, what, 30 seconds?
37:23Yeah, they're not designed to be sitting around too long, so...
37:26I am.
37:33With all three guys saddled up, they took their places on the start line.
37:39Ten-second board is out, revving up.
37:42Casey Stoner, Jamie Winkup, Mark Webber.
37:45Australian champions on a track together with three weapons.
37:49Lights out, we're away!
37:54Casey Stoner's on the money!
38:00Webber quickly pulled away, with his challenge being to lap the other two by the end of the five lap
38:05race.
38:07Jamie and Casey, meanwhile, got stuck into giving each other a good fight.
38:12And now, back to our commentary box.
38:15Have a look at the difference between the bike and the car as they come around that corner there into
38:20view.
38:20And Casey is actually making that rear end of that bike very wide for Jamie.
38:24He is indeed.
38:25And I'm surprised at just how quickly Webber's got away.
38:28But then again, we shouldn't really.
38:29They are such powerful machines and a very, very light body.
38:32A lot of aero being put into these cars nowadays.
38:34A maximum amount of grip as he goes through the back end of the circuit.
38:37And it will be a little bit of a tussle between Winkup and Stoner, I suspect, as we see Webber.
38:43Have a listen to this car, folks.
38:48There is nothing like an engine for that.
38:50But over five laps, it's going to be so interesting to see what have we got as far as a
38:56lap time difference between them.
38:58And what have we got here as far as lap time?
39:00We're looking at, what, a 50.57.
39:0350.54 Webber on the short circuit.
39:07Stoner goes across the line now with a 107.14.
39:10So 17 seconds difference between the two.
39:14And Winkup was right on him, though.
39:16Have a look as they go around into turn one.
39:18Winkup's not letting him get away all that easy.
39:21He's still saying the bike is a little bit hard to pass.
39:23So obviously Casey is taking those lines.
39:26And here we come.
39:27Mark Webber again across the line.
39:30And one hundredth of a second difference between those two.
39:33So Webber's got that one dialled in well and truly.
39:36The battle on between these two.
39:38As we said, Winkup finding a little bit hard to get past Stoner on these tighter turns.
39:43And we can see Stoner looking in his mirrors.
39:45He's going, where is he?
39:46Well, he's right behind me.
39:47He's in my draft.
39:48Not as much of it.
39:49And he's having an absolute horror time to try and get through.
39:51This is just sensational stuff.
39:53It is sensational stuff.
39:54And now, obviously, you were right with Mark Webber coming across the line.
39:57As we see Casey Stoner and Jamie Winkup heading down the Brabham Straight.
40:03But will Mark catch them?
40:05It is no doubt.
40:06Have a look at this.
40:09You reckon he's going to put them a lap down on the final lap?
40:11Well, I just don't think it's going to be long before he's right on the back of Jamie Winkup.
40:15And let's just see how long it takes.
40:18This is the final lap now, ladies and gentlemen.
40:20So, it is now two cars.
40:22Of course, the Formula One car, the V8 Supercar.
40:24And it's now...
40:25What's that?
40:26Casey Stoner's in front.
40:27Oh, that's interesting.
40:28Here comes Mark.
40:29He's saying, can I find a way through these two?
40:31Well, it's Red Bull, Red Bull and Motorbike at the moment in reverse order.
40:35We're looking to see if Webber can find his way through.
40:38And I reckon he'll take them out at the top end of the circuit here, John,
40:42as we see a little bit of a dice as Winkup finally got through on Stoner
40:47as they come around the back end of the circuit.
40:50But have a look at the acceleration difference
40:51and the similarity between the V8 Supercar and the Formula One.
40:55Check this out as they come onto the Brabham Straight here, ladies and gentlemen.
40:57Have a look at this and raise your arms up as we see history with Mark Webber,
41:02Jamie Winkup and, of course, Casey Stoner.
41:13It's about to get loud, folks.
41:15It's about to get smoking.
41:29Casey Stoner is letting it loose.
41:39Ladies and gentlemen, they just turned the racetrack into a Western Suburbs car park.
41:48Finish.
41:49That was more arse than class, mate.
41:52We managed to pull that off.
41:53I don't know how, but we did.
41:54But in the end, I hope everyone enjoyed it.
41:56And, yeah, it was a good experience for me.
41:59Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Webber, Casey Stoner, Jamie Winkup.
42:06Never had so much talent graced this circuit at one time.
42:10And never had so little talent followed it.
42:14As Shane, Steve, Jeremy and I came together for a game of Top Gear Car Football.
42:21Right, now, we're going to need some cars.
42:24Oh, great.
42:25Excellent.
42:25So what do we have?
42:26Lamborghini.
42:27No.
42:27Is it something a bit shit?
42:29Yes.
42:30I'm afraid it is.
42:31Let's bring them out.
42:32They are, of course, three-wheeled Reliant Robins.
42:36Oh, God.
42:36We're going to be killed.
42:37Oh, man.
42:37No, no, no.
42:37These are very, very important cars in the history of British motoring.
42:40This car mobilised the whole of the north of the country for three decades.
42:46I'm surprised anybody in the north of Britain survived the 70s because of these cars.
42:51They're not stable.
42:52No.
42:52They're not safe.
42:53They have a major design fault.
42:54With all four of us strapped in.
42:57James, these are English cars.
42:59This thing's already leaking oil.
43:01The match began.
43:03Here we go.
43:04Car Football has begun.
43:06On your right.
43:07On your right.
43:07On your right.
43:08On your right.
43:08Here we go.
43:09And it's a quick punt for England back down to the other end of the net.
43:11Oh, God.
43:12Oh, no.
43:13I've cocked it up.
43:14It's a header.
43:14Oh, it's a...
43:15I'm running with it.
43:16Good work.
43:17I'm through and I'm away.
43:20I'm going round the goals, kids.
43:22Look out.
43:22Cross it.
43:23Cross it.
43:24Goal hanging ref.
43:25He's just sitting and I'm going, scoring.
43:28There it is.
43:30Damn.
43:32We can get it back.
43:33We can get it back.
43:34Right, I'll go in defence.
43:35Oh, okay.
43:36Oh, okay.
43:37Oh.
43:39James May has roared over his Reliant Robin.
43:43And it's actually your kickoff.
43:45It is.
43:46What an idiot.
43:48James, I'm going to confuse them.
43:51Okay, I'm going to confuse them as well.
43:53No, James, get them.
43:54No, I've unconfused them.
43:55Stay with me, Piers.
43:56I'll need you.
43:56Yes, Wakanda, keep it going, keep it going, keep it going.
43:59James, get back in defence.
44:00Get back.
44:01Ah.
44:02Goal.
44:03Yes.
44:05Haha, how do you like that?
44:07Not much.
44:09You ready, James?
44:10I'm here already.
44:12Wait for the punt.
44:12That's okay.
44:13I've got to go right.
44:14Go right.
44:15Go right.
44:15Go right.
44:16Go right.
44:16It's gone straight over my head.
44:18Go, Shane.
44:18I'm with you.
44:19I'm with you.
44:22Coming back to defend.
44:23Go.
44:24I cannot get reversed.
44:27Oh.
44:28Oh.
44:28Oh, my car's done.
44:29Oh.
44:30Fuck off.
44:30No, no, I can't.
44:32What are you doing?
44:32No, no, no, no, no.
44:33Hang on, what are you doing?
44:34Don't do that.
44:34Don't do that.
44:35Don't do that.
44:35Jeremy, what are you doing?
44:36Uh-oh.
44:39Uh-oh.
44:40Oh, no, no, no.
44:41Just stop.
44:42Jeremy, it's so distracting.
44:44Jeremy, it's so distracting.
44:45Oh, no, bullets.
44:48How could I have done that enough?
44:50Because you're a twat.
44:51I got a tank slapper.
44:52I'm going.
44:53I'm going.
44:54I'm stuck in the net.
44:55It's coming.
44:56Coming.
44:58That is a disaster.
45:00That's it.
45:00James.
45:01That's it.
45:01That's it.
45:02Stay by the block.
45:05There you go.
45:05Give it a-
45:06Go, go, go, go.
45:08Get it.
45:08Get it.
45:09Get it.
45:09No!
45:10Yes!
45:13How's that for a save?
45:17We made a bit of an accident there, ladies and gentlemen.
45:20Just a small crash.
45:22Jeremy, come over my spine.
45:24I'll see if you can.
45:26Here comes the dribble.
45:29Jeremy, get it.
45:30Yes, I'm right where you want me to be again.
45:32Oh, no, that's a terrible crash.
45:35Part of my head come off.
45:37Move, James, move!
45:39No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
45:40Well, this is a good one, too.
45:42This is good.
45:42Right, carry it, carry it, carry it, carry it, carry it.
45:45Yes!
45:45Oh, no, no, no.
45:46How about that?
45:49Okay, two, one.
45:53Shane, we need some tactics here.
45:55We have to get this next one, Piers.
45:57We have to.
45:57Or we will be beaten to death trying to leave the stadium.
46:00Correct.
46:00Go, Shane.
46:01I'm on your right.
46:02I'm on your right.
46:04To the side, Piers.
46:05Got it.
46:06Shane, on your right.
46:07I'm on your left.
46:08Oh, no, no, no, no.
46:08I'm on your left.
46:08Oh, it's lucky.
46:10Stay right, Shane.
46:11Stay right.
46:12Ah!
46:13Oh, God.
46:14Excellent.
46:15Well done.
46:16Jakobson's gone completely mental.
46:22Off you go.
46:23Oh, no.
46:24We've got a slight issue, James.
46:25Go, Shane.
46:26Go, Shane.
46:29No!
46:31No!
46:34He saved it.
46:35He actually saved it.
46:36He's overcome it.
46:40Shane, Shane, Shane.
46:41Trying.
46:42Just trying to get on my feet.
46:43Go, go, go!
46:44Let's do it.
46:45Yeah!
46:46Go!
46:53A goose.
46:54A goose.
46:56It's a massive punt.
46:59Oh, dear.
47:00Waiting for it.
47:01And there's another man.
47:04Oh, God.
47:06Ha-ha.
47:07All mine.
47:11Get out of the way.
47:12Go, Shane.
47:13His.
47:14No!
47:15Go, Shane.
47:16Ah!
47:19Yeah!
47:20Yes!
47:25Apparently, according to the referee...
47:30I've had a little bit of a problem.
47:31Goal hanging, ref.
47:36I'm on fire.
47:38You are on fire.
47:39You've blown up, man.
47:40I am literally on fire.
47:42Right.
47:43In the dying embers of the game, we have it all to play for.
47:47Oh, checked it over the top.
47:48Come on, James.
47:49We've only got seconds.
47:50Shane, Shane, go.
47:51Move, Piersman.
47:51Here I go.
47:52I've got to hit him.
47:53Jeremy, where is it?
47:54It's going to go.
47:55Oh, you're joking.
47:56Yeah!
48:00That was it.
48:02So, there we are.
48:03Ladies and gentlemen, it's two goals to England, three goals to Australia.
48:08Yes!
48:12Having seen four men in bad shirts falling over, the crowd could take no more.
48:18And so, our festival drew to a close.
48:25That's it, isn't it?
48:27It is, really.
48:27We're finished here.
48:28Our work is done.
48:30Goodbye.
48:30Bye.
48:39Bye.
48:40Bye.
49:09Bye.
Comments