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Short filmTranscript
00:00:04So I'm playing the space show for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10Sorry, are you kissing anybody in the room?
00:00:20Yeah, him.
00:00:22Hi!
00:00:23It's you.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:54Maybe we can't see her.
00:00:56It's just my birthmark.
00:00:59Do you want me to stop, Timmy?
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07She'll be right back.
00:01:11She'll be right back.
00:01:15She'll be right back.
00:01:18She'll be right back.
00:01:22She'll be right back.
00:01:25I don't want you to stop.
00:01:37I was so drunk last night.
00:01:40I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:45I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:53Happy New Year.
00:01:54Sam, it's me.
00:01:56Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:58I don't care how.
00:01:59Just do it.
00:02:01I will find you.
00:02:08Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:11I'm a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:14I need grandkids.
00:02:16I need you to...
00:02:16Message received, Mom.
00:02:18I need to go now.
00:02:19I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:30Seven years.
00:02:31Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:33Why do you still hunt me?
00:02:43Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:45Boss, it's been years.
00:02:50I'm ready to go to the inspection.
00:02:52Your request, sir.
00:02:54But first, we found your fake Christmas light.
00:02:57She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:58Blonde hair, red top.
00:03:00And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:03:02We can't have her know the Harrison Group CEO or she'll check up the price.
00:03:06Good.
00:03:07Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:12Hi.
00:03:13One iced real latte, please.
00:03:15And one hot chocolate.
00:03:18I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:21Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:27Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:29It's just for Christmas.
00:03:30But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:33What's my real one?
00:03:41Uh, I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:44Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:54Daddy!
00:03:55Oh, what?
00:04:03Daddy!
00:04:04No, I'm sorry.
00:04:07I'm not your dad.
00:04:08No, I know you're my daddy.
00:04:10Just as handsome as I have to.
00:04:12Oh.
00:04:13Mommy, hurry.
00:04:14Your fake Christmas husband has arrived.
00:04:23I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:27He's gorgeous.
00:04:29Oh.
00:04:32Oh.
00:04:34Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:37She's waiting for a cotton shop.
00:04:39Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:40You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:44So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:46See, I knew you were the new daddy behind me.
00:04:49Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:50What's your name?
00:04:52Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:54Max, Aurelius.
00:04:56Eva.
00:04:57I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:05:02I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:05:04I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:08So, for our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:14$1,000 an hour?
00:05:16Well, yeah.
00:05:18It's $500 a day.
00:05:20Is that enough?
00:05:21That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:23Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:25That's when I agreed with the agency.
00:05:27You make $2,000 over the week.
00:05:29Look, my requirements are simple.
00:05:31Okay, play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big, happy
00:05:36family.
00:05:36And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:43So she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
00:05:46Fine.
00:05:47But she'll have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:52Okay.
00:05:53Deal.
00:05:56I need to go get married.
00:06:12Wow.
00:06:13Isn't it nice?
00:06:14This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:17Pictures.
00:06:26Wow, guys, you're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:52I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:57To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:07:02Yeah.
00:07:02Of course.
00:07:13Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:15From my family to you.
00:07:25Bad news, boss.
00:07:27The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife failed last minute.
00:07:31But she failed.
00:07:33But who is...
00:07:36Who is she?
00:07:39Whatever.
00:07:40It doesn't matter.
00:07:42I'll try what I need.
00:07:45Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:47I already found someone.
00:07:53Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:57Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:59Christmas shopping?
00:08:00I should come.
00:08:02Look, if you want me to be the husband in this figure to your family plan, I think I should
00:08:06have some say in the gifts.
00:08:08We'll make it more believable.
00:08:13Fine.
00:08:13Yeah, right.
00:08:15Okay.
00:08:15You can come.
00:08:24Let's go.
00:08:25Where's Molly going, Sam?
00:08:26Uh, I'm from the water.
00:08:28Uh, I'm from the bank.
00:08:35What the actual fuck?
00:08:38Fuck.
00:08:42Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:47Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:53She does kind of look like him.
00:08:58So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:09:04Yeah, they're from you.
00:09:06I'm going to love you, Max.
00:09:09Also, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:19in front of them.
00:09:21Okay.
00:09:22Should we use our tongues or?
00:09:24No, no, definitely not.
00:09:26And absolutely no.
00:09:27Sex?
00:09:29Yes.
00:09:30Strictly business.
00:09:32Anything physical outside of us is not happening.
00:09:36What?
00:09:37Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:40I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:47So.
00:09:54Yeah.
00:09:55What are you doing?
00:09:56I never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:10:00Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:10:07Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:10:1050% off pies.
00:10:12Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:10:1412 pumpkin pies, I hear this right?
00:10:15They're the best kind.
00:10:17Hurry up and go.
00:10:18Cool, what are you standing here for?
00:10:21Hello there.
00:10:22Hi.
00:10:23You ready?
00:10:23Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:25Okay, great.
00:10:26We have a holiday special today.
00:10:28Spend 500, get 10% off, and you're just short.
00:10:3215 bucks if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:34Oh, great, yeah.
00:10:36What do you have that's just 15 bucks?
00:10:38Can you get a move on?
00:10:40I just got here.
00:10:42Relax.
00:10:43Yeah, yeah.
00:10:46Here, this is a good trick.
00:10:48Okay, thank you.
00:10:51Hurry up and pay.
00:10:55I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:57You can wait your turn.
00:11:03Damn, my fake wife has some fire in it.
00:11:12I'll be waiting at the phone.
00:11:14I'll be waiting at the phone.
00:11:15I'll be waiting at the phone.
00:11:18I'll be waiting at the phone.
00:11:20I'll be waiting at the phone.
00:11:21Hi, guys.
00:11:22Can I hand you all these pies?
00:11:28Of course.
00:11:30Thank you so much.
00:11:31Of course.
00:11:32I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:34She bought all those pies.
00:11:36Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:38Just to give it away.
00:11:40Merry Christmas.
00:11:47What?
00:11:48Do you do that often?
00:11:50As often as I can.
00:11:56We should go.
00:11:57I gotta pick up paper.
00:12:02Watch out!
00:12:22You done feeling me up?
00:12:24Shut up.
00:12:25Sorry, I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:28Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:35And don't be late.
00:12:48Harrison Group?
00:12:50Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:53Sort of.
00:12:54Not that I'm judging.
00:12:55I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat most alive.
00:13:01Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:13:04I think that's respectful.
00:13:06Can we pick another company?
00:13:09No.
00:13:10Harrison Group is perfect.
00:13:11They'll find it impressive.
00:13:13My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:13:14So, perfect.
00:13:20Oh, and, uh, there's something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:13:24Don't worry.
00:13:25Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:26I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:30Too much.
00:13:51Let's go, Sam.
00:13:53It's time to check out the new H.D.U. set.
00:13:55Mom, you're covered in water.
00:13:57You have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:14:01It's my daughter's.
00:14:02It's my daughter's.
00:14:04Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:14:23Hey, there they are.
00:14:25Hey, there they are.
00:14:25Hey, there they are.
00:14:26Hey, there they are.
00:14:27Hey, there they are.
00:14:27Oh, how was that?
00:14:29Aren't you made it?
00:14:30Oh, I missed you.
00:14:32So, where is this mysterious husband that we heard about?
00:14:36He's coming.
00:14:38Please don't tell me that since failed.
00:14:42So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:46When's he arriving?
00:14:47Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:52Poor thing.
00:14:53Not surprising.
00:14:54I mean, she's 30.
00:14:56Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:59Plus, a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:15:05This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:15:09Thank you, Pamela.
00:15:10Daddy, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:15:14We're only worried about you.
00:15:16All these years without a husband.
00:15:19Zip it, Pamela.
00:15:21You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:15:24And look what happened.
00:15:25She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:29I'm not alone.
00:15:31Mm-hmm.
00:15:31And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:37He's manager.
00:15:39Manager?
00:15:40What's what?
00:15:42Trash.
00:15:44Probably a culvert for criminal activity.
00:15:48You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:51Actually.
00:15:53He's right here.
00:15:57Oh, wow.
00:15:59Wow.
00:16:00He's really good looking.
00:16:03Oh, must be AI.
00:16:05Mm-hmm.
00:16:06Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:16:10That's enough.
00:16:11She's our daughter, and your niece shows some respect.
00:16:15Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William,
00:16:20and you turned him down?
00:16:22Well, guess what?
00:16:23William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:26Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:29That's half a million.
00:16:31Half a million.
00:16:33Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:37And speak of the devil.
00:16:41Willie, you're amazing.
00:16:54There you are.
00:16:56Oh, look at you now.
00:16:59Living the dream.
00:17:01Oh, just think, Eva.
00:17:02Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:17:09So, Marion, huh?
00:17:11Is it serious?
00:17:13That's what it is.
00:17:14It's pretty serious.
00:17:16Wow.
00:17:17You must have rushed the time to night, huh?
00:17:20Makes sense, though.
00:17:21You're not being a hot damn thing anymore.
00:17:24Dragging that kid around with no debt.
00:17:27Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:30Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:33That's right.
00:17:35Just bought this brand new suit for my Christmas bonus.
00:17:39Wouldn't love a man in red.
00:17:42Sexy.
00:17:43Like Santa Claus.
00:17:44But I sit on my lap.
00:17:46Don't touch me.
00:17:48Oh, so entitled.
00:17:50Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:54And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:58I mean, look at that car.
00:18:01Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:18:04Think of the life I can give you on Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:18:08Did you know my husband and marry me instead?
00:18:12I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on birth.
00:18:20My mom would never marry.
00:18:22She already had love, and he's gonna kick your butt.
00:18:29Is that so?
00:18:30Well, then, where is he?
00:18:33Because I don't see him.
00:18:35Does anyone see him?
00:18:38No.
00:18:39Just like I thought.
00:18:41Telling lies just like mommy.
00:18:44That puts you on the Nihilists.
00:18:47And let me show you, Pam, it's not a children.
00:18:52Hey.
00:18:53Mommy.
00:18:54Is it okay?
00:18:56She is.
00:18:57Oh, my God.
00:18:58Let me take her into your past, okay?
00:19:00Come on.
00:19:01Let's go.
00:19:03What the hell's the matter with you?
00:19:06How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:19:10Let me go.
00:19:11Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:19:17Let me go.
00:19:32Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:40Max, you came.
00:19:42How are you, sweetie?
00:19:45Where's Piper?
00:19:47William Hitter.
00:19:49I'm long down at Tee Greenside.
00:19:51Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:54Well, well, well.
00:19:55It isn't a waste, Marjorie, I can't hear you so much about.
00:19:59That's right.
00:20:01Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:20:05Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it's an honor to meet you.
00:20:09I'm Max.
00:20:10Eva told us all about you.
00:20:12From New York, polite, handsome, just like she said.
00:20:17Wow.
00:20:18He was an AI.
00:20:20See?
00:20:21He's real.
00:20:22And he's more of a man here than really whoever dreamed he'd be.
00:20:25You son of a bitch.
00:20:27You just ruined my suit.
00:20:28And what's the way that you drive that pristine automobile?
00:20:33That car?
00:20:34Oh, my God.
00:20:35That's worth more than a house.
00:20:38That car?
00:20:39It's all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:43Wait.
00:20:45Are you?
00:20:50Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:54And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:56I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:58You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:21:00You stole it.
00:21:01That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:21:04Jesus.
00:21:05How did he get away with it?
00:21:06That's what I want to know.
00:21:08Enough, please.
00:21:11Just my daughter.
00:21:13She will never marry a girl.
00:21:17Max, be honest with me.
00:21:19Where did that car come from?
00:21:22I'm just a one-footed.
00:21:24I'll be more than you leave in your wig at three light times.
00:21:27So, you need a breath, man.
00:21:33All right, attention.
00:21:34I'm calling the cops.
00:21:34Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:36Wait.
00:21:38What?
00:21:39Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:42Oh, well, too late.
00:21:50Listen, I believe you, but how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:58Mr. Smith, don't worry, it's my car, okay?
00:22:00It's not sold.
00:22:02Yeah?
00:22:03If it's yours, improve it.
00:22:05Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:22:08Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:22:10Okay, I'll prove that it's mine.
00:22:12But then you have to get lost.
00:22:14And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:22:17Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:22:19Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:22:22Loser.
00:22:22Say one more word, and I'll give them a real reason to take me in.
00:22:28Jesus.
00:22:28Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:22:30He's kind of sexy, though.
00:22:34Here, title and proof of ownership.
00:22:44Mr. Harrison?
00:22:49Mr. Harrison?
00:22:51Mr. Harrison?
00:22:55Just quit alone.
00:22:58Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:59Now get the fuck out of here, before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:23:04Yes, sir.
00:23:05I'm so sorry, sir.
00:23:06Hey, please, sir.
00:23:08Here's some help.
00:23:09Thank you, sir.
00:23:20Oh, that William, what a jerk, huh?
00:23:24You fooled me.
00:23:25What can I say?
00:23:26Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:23:30Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:23:32Oh, come on, you know.
00:23:33We were just looking out for you.
00:23:36Praise for just Mr. Harrison.
00:23:38You know, my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:40Soon.
00:23:41Do you think that you could help him get us open the door?
00:23:45A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:50We are family, aren't we?
00:23:51Family takes care of each other.
00:23:55If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:59Abigail, come on.
00:24:01Talk to her for us.
00:24:03Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:24:06Yeah.
00:24:07I think you did take care of your own issues first.
00:24:10My daughter is just far too busy for your best life.
00:24:14My new son-in-law.
00:24:16Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:24:17Welcome to the family.
00:24:22Welcome.
00:24:27This is your fault, Pam.
00:24:29You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:24:33My fault.
00:24:34You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, will you?
00:24:38Oh!
00:24:48Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:50And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:52And how old are you?
00:24:53I told you.
00:24:54I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:56I have a friend in high places.
00:24:58A friend who just hands you keys to a million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:25:03Yes.
00:25:04It's the season of giving.
00:25:06He knows people.
00:25:07Has connections.
00:25:08He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:25:11You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:25:13Yeah, you best not forget it.
00:25:14The bish...
00:25:15Oh, my God, just don't hold your cover.
00:25:19Dad!
00:25:19Mom!
00:25:20Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your homes.
00:25:24Oh, honey.
00:25:25We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong...
00:25:30Good luck.
00:25:31I think I get it, honey.
00:25:35How's the partner?
00:25:37Oh, she's fine.
00:25:38Well, you guys just get so...
00:25:40and we will go check on her.
00:25:41And if your mom takes a cold shower,
00:25:44we'll come back and finish decorating the street.
00:25:47Can we...
00:25:47See you in a bit, don't we?
00:25:49What are you doing?
00:25:52Okay.
00:25:55Hey, was that not a, uh, reach of contra?
00:26:00Relax.
00:26:01It was just a hug.
00:26:04Ugh.
00:26:06We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:26:08You'll be okay.
00:26:10It's just one week.
00:26:11Only now.
00:26:12Well, there were, but...
00:26:14I need to get paid.
00:26:19What are you doing?
00:26:22That's weird.
00:26:23They were so lucky to be just a second ago.
00:26:26I don't know, something just smells off.
00:26:28That's ridiculous.
00:26:30I mean, what do you want to do?
00:26:32They don't promise to put them?
00:26:34I'll see you.
00:26:37Later!
00:26:38Later!
00:26:44Here we go.
00:26:47Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:49Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
00:26:52To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:55Oh.
00:26:56Welcome.
00:26:58Cheers.
00:26:58Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:27:00Looks great.
00:27:00Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:27:03I had no idea what you liked, so I just looked up a little bit of everything.
00:27:07But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:27:11Ooh.
00:27:12Oh, no.
00:27:13Mom's testing him.
00:27:14She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:27:16You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:27:23I don't know.
00:27:24Eva, sweetie.
00:27:26Kicking my foot.
00:27:27Oh, sorry, mom.
00:27:29Oh, jeez.
00:27:32It's okay.
00:27:33Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:27:35I would like to hear Max say it.
00:27:42Hello.
00:27:50Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:27:51Did I hear this right?
00:27:52The best kind.
00:27:55Well, of course.
00:27:56It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:58See?
00:27:59Are you happy now?
00:28:01That's good, but something still falls off.
00:28:04Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:28:06We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:28:12But our marriage is real.
00:28:14I guess your mom was just watching some of those real short shows.
00:28:18Ah, now those are quality.
00:28:22Okay, well, then answer this.
00:28:25Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:28:29Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:28:33I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:28:36Well, um, it's...
00:28:39Silly face, dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:28:42Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:28:45Silly face.
00:28:47I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:50Consider it a custom slip.
00:28:52You're losers.
00:28:54Oh, that's nice.
00:28:55You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:58Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:29:02And I'm not just talking about William.
00:29:08So, come on, guys, let's eat.
00:29:23And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:29:26Hey, I have another room set up for Piper.
00:29:29Nice and festive for you.
00:29:31No complications.
00:29:33Sorry, honey.
00:29:35Uh, Mom, you know what?
00:29:36I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:29:38Oh, honey.
00:29:39Millie Weds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:29:42Oh, I just remembered.
00:29:44The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:29:46Something about water conservation.
00:29:48That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:5015 minutes?
00:29:53I mean, it's no big deal.
00:29:54Just shower together.
00:29:57Shower together?
00:30:01Just shower together.
00:30:02Okay, you guys.
00:30:04Have a good night, okay?
00:30:09You heard it.
00:30:32Oh, I can't take a shower with your clothes on.
00:30:38Come on, we're wasting time.
00:30:39I'm about 15 minutes.
00:30:40Nice try.
00:30:41I am not showering with you.
00:30:43All right, suit yourself.
00:30:44Or move for me in there.
00:30:46Not that I need to be here first.
00:31:04Come on, Max.
00:31:06Get out of the way.
00:31:08You could be nothing physical.
00:31:10You're the one with the dirty thoughts away.
00:31:12Relax.
00:31:13I won't touch you.
00:31:15Unless you say you want me to.
00:31:19You're the one with the last issue.
00:31:29In your dreams.
00:31:33Rejoining.
00:31:54You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower or water left.
00:31:58You bitch.
00:31:59Why aren't you getting in?
00:32:01Can you pray you'll call for me?
00:32:03It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:32:06Oh yeah?
00:32:20Holy shit.
00:32:24I mean, this is, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:32:29I'll say.
00:32:30What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:32:33So I'll say a few people.
00:32:36I'm going to be begging you.
00:32:39I'm going to be able to tell.
00:32:49Or maybe we should.
00:32:51God, this is such a good kisser.
00:32:54Why does this feel so familiar?
00:33:13Max, we cannot do this.
00:33:16What?
00:33:17I didn't mean to cross any...
00:33:19It's not you, Max.
00:33:20It's us.
00:33:21It's this.
00:33:21This is all an ass.
00:33:23Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:33:25You're right.
00:33:28I'm sorry.
00:33:29You need to be sorry.
00:33:31You just...
00:33:40Earthmark.
00:33:46What is that?
00:33:48It's him.
00:33:49The man from New Year's.
00:33:51Is he...
00:33:52Piper's father?
00:33:56Why are you acting?
00:34:00Oh my God.
00:34:01Max is Piper's father.
00:34:04Are you okay?
00:34:05Yeah.
00:34:07I just, um...
00:34:08I just got laid at it.
00:34:10I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:34:13I'll um...
00:34:14Of course.
00:34:18We have a daughter together.
00:34:20Oh my God.
00:34:21What do I do?
00:34:28I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:34:30You can take the bed.
00:34:33Thanks.
00:34:35Hey.
00:34:37Are you sure you're okay?
00:34:39Look, fake marriage aside,
00:34:41I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:34:43So if there's something you need,
00:34:44I can help.
00:34:46I want to help.
00:34:48He's Piper's father.
00:34:50He has a way to know.
00:34:52Um...
00:34:53Max?
00:34:55How would you feel
00:34:56if you found out
00:34:57you had a kid?
00:35:02A child?
00:35:03No, no, no.
00:35:04That's...
00:35:05That's impossible.
00:35:06I'm...
00:35:06Very...
00:35:07Careful.
00:35:09Mostly.
00:35:11I just mean I'm not the type of guy
00:35:13to sleep around.
00:35:14Family to me is
00:35:15a big commitment.
00:35:16And...
00:35:17I don't want any loose ends.
00:35:19You know?
00:35:20Right.
00:35:22You wouldn't want a kid
00:35:23tying him down.
00:35:24I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:35:27Why do you ask?
00:35:29No, I'm just...
00:35:31I'm just curious.
00:35:32No, I...
00:35:33I feel like you're
00:35:34going somewhere with this.
00:35:36What?
00:35:37No.
00:35:38Well, then...
00:35:39Can I ask you a question?
00:35:42Shoot.
00:35:48Where did you get these?
00:35:49And how did you know
00:35:50my exact size?
00:35:52I...
00:35:52Did not get those.
00:35:54I don't know
00:35:54where those came from.
00:35:56Are you sure
00:35:56you're just not trying
00:35:57to...
00:35:58break the contract?
00:35:59Oh, my God.
00:36:16The truth is...
00:36:19is that I...
00:36:21Ha ha ha.
00:36:22Go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:36:25Just a second.
00:36:26Come in.
00:36:28Hey, hug.
00:36:30Oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:36:36You need to take this one, Dad?
00:36:37We're kind of in the middle of smithing.
00:36:40I can see that.
00:36:42Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:36:44I mean, if you don't mind.
00:36:46What?
00:36:47I don't what?
00:36:48You know what?
00:36:48Just put his shirt on.
00:36:50I'm gonna go get her.
00:36:51Piper!
00:36:52Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:56He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of
00:37:02a thistle.
00:37:03But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all,
00:37:11a good night.
00:37:15If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:37:19Good night, Piper.
00:37:24Is her dad still around?
00:37:26Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you're her dad.
00:37:31Uh, no.
00:37:31That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing on.
00:37:40Do you really think so?
00:37:42From the bottom of my heart?
00:37:45Maybe I should tell him.
00:37:47He deserves to know.
00:37:54No.
00:37:59You're Piper's father.
00:38:07I'm sorry, one time's right.
00:38:12I'm sorry, one time's right.
00:38:34Where's Piper?
00:38:36She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:38:55God, you said you could kiss her.
00:39:05Just gonna kiss and run?
00:39:08Not my wife.
00:39:13Yeah, this.
00:39:15I remember this.
00:39:27Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:39:29How was your stay at Chateau-Smith?
00:39:32Good morning, Ms. Smith.
00:39:34It was great.
00:39:36Wonderful.
00:39:37Well, it's about to get even better.
00:39:41Oh, no.
00:39:42What is that?
00:39:43Sardines and saltines.
00:39:45It's a Smith family classic.
00:39:47It was my grand-grand's favorite during wartime.
00:39:50Don't be shy.
00:39:51Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:39:53Max, you don't have to.
00:39:55No, no, it's okay.
00:39:57Smith family staple.
00:40:00Oh, my God.
00:40:01You don't have to.
00:40:19You don't have to.
00:40:23You don't have to.
00:40:29Oh, my God.
00:40:30No.
00:40:31some water, please?
00:40:32That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda
00:40:34and her brood this year.
00:40:36What's the deal with them?
00:40:38Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:40:40Says Piper's a fatherless brat,
00:40:43and I'm...
00:40:44Hey, don't worry.
00:40:46I'll protect you and Piper.
00:40:50Better have Sam on standby tonight,
00:40:53just in case.
00:40:55Well, looks like
00:40:56it's time to get dressed up then.
00:41:09Wait, that earring.
00:41:11Wait, that earring.
00:41:14You like it?
00:41:16I was so bummed when I lost the match one years ago.
00:41:18Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:41:21I don't really remember the details,
00:41:23but luckily I was
00:41:25able to find a new pair.
00:41:27Right.
00:41:28That's just a common earring.
00:41:30Anyone can have it.
00:41:31Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:41:33She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:41:38So Ava and Piper
00:41:40still aren't here.
00:41:42But Derring said that Ava got married.
00:41:45What kind of man
00:41:47could she possibly have landed?
00:41:49An aging single mom.
00:41:51Slim pickings.
00:41:52I heard
00:41:53he's in waste management.
00:41:55That explains it.
00:41:57She's probably too embarrassed
00:41:58to show up.
00:42:00Oh, please,
00:42:01Miranda.
00:42:01Look,
00:42:02Ava is your niece.
00:42:03Oh, come on,
00:42:04Grandpa.
00:42:05Everyone knows
00:42:06Ava had a kid
00:42:07with a random one-night stand.
00:42:09Her track record speaks for itself.
00:42:11Exactly.
00:42:12Not like my Sierra.
00:42:13Married to a legal advisor
00:42:15for Harrison Group.
00:42:19They're here.
00:42:21Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:42:28Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:42:29Merry Christmas.
00:42:31You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:42:33I am.
00:42:35I'm Ava's husband.
00:42:36Max.
00:42:37Pleasure to meet you.
00:42:37You're welcome.
00:42:38You're Eva's husband.
00:42:40But
00:42:41you're gorgeous.
00:42:44But
00:42:45I see I miss you.
00:42:47Look at you, too.
00:42:48You look like
00:42:49you just stepped out
00:42:49of the movie.
00:42:50Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:42:53This is the next night.
00:42:55Oh, my goodness.
00:42:56I bet you need that.
00:42:57Let me grab that
00:42:58for you, Danny.
00:43:00Oh, my bad.
00:43:02Oh,
00:43:02a homemade gift.
00:43:04How thrifty.
00:43:06Not all kissing
00:43:07about the price tag.
00:43:09Mommy's right,
00:43:10you mean,
00:43:10all the hat.
00:43:11You will.
00:43:14You will not lay a head
00:43:15on my daughter.
00:43:17We will lose yours.
00:43:19Oh,
00:43:20you think you broke my wrist?
00:43:22Look what you just did
00:43:23to my mother.
00:43:24My husband
00:43:25is Harrison Group's
00:43:26top legal advisor.
00:43:27He could ruin
00:43:28your butt.
00:43:42Are you okay?
00:43:44I'm fine.
00:43:44I'm just a light, huh?
00:43:45Yeah.
00:43:46It's okay.
00:43:47It's okay.
00:43:49What are you?
00:43:52Don't you dare
00:43:53disrespect my husband.
00:43:55Did you just slap me?
00:43:57Next time,
00:43:58it'll be a closed fist.
00:43:59You're a fucking psycho.
00:44:01You know what, Sierra?
00:44:01I can take
00:44:02your little insults,
00:44:03but leave my family
00:44:04out of this.
00:44:07You're family.
00:44:08She needs me.
00:44:14You okay, honey?
00:44:15Do I look okay to you,
00:44:17dumbass?
00:44:18Do something.
00:44:19You don't know
00:44:20who you're messing with.
00:44:21I've got the full weight
00:44:22of the Harrison Group
00:44:23behind me.
00:44:24Oh, wow.
00:44:25I'm sure the CEO
00:44:26would love to hear
00:44:27that you're using
00:44:28his company's name
00:44:29to bully people.
00:44:30Look,
00:44:31you don't have any idea
00:44:32how a CEO thinks.
00:44:33Let's call him.
00:44:35I'm sure he'd be
00:44:35more than happy
00:44:36to be on my side.
00:44:37Please.
00:44:38Who do you think
00:44:39you are?
00:44:41Take it off.
00:44:43There will be
00:44:44no arguing
00:44:45during Christmas.
00:44:46Fine, Dad.
00:44:48Let it go, Nathan.
00:44:50They're just jealous.
00:44:53For Grandpa's sake,
00:44:54I'll let you off easy.
00:44:55I think you
00:44:56and Nathan
00:44:58a thank you.
00:44:59I think you owe me
00:45:01a thank you
00:45:01for slapping
00:45:02some sense in zero.
00:45:03Do you want me
00:45:03to get the other key?
00:45:04All right,
00:45:05that's enough.
00:45:06Everyone come inside
00:45:07and sit down.
00:45:29Is this a joke?
00:45:31Can you please
00:45:32pass me some food?
00:45:33Hold it.
00:45:34We said you could
00:45:35eat anything else.
00:45:36My husband and I
00:45:38paid for this feast.
00:45:42My husband and I
00:45:44paid for this feast.
00:45:46King crab,
00:45:47fresh from Alaska,
00:45:49and grass-fed white hue.
00:45:51Three times the price,
00:45:5350 times the flavor.
00:45:54And you don't get
00:45:56a single bite.
00:45:57It's just petty.
00:45:59Maybe so.
00:46:00But gourmet food
00:46:01isn't meant
00:46:02for bottom feeders.
00:46:04Fine.
00:46:05Then we won't
00:46:06stay and eat with you.
00:46:08Come on, let's go.
00:46:09No, no.
00:46:10Don't you dare
00:46:11leave our family together.
00:46:13Grandpa, I'm sorry,
00:46:14but they're treating us like...
00:46:16I know, dear.
00:46:17I just want to have
00:46:18our family together.
00:46:20Fine.
00:46:20We'll let the strays
00:46:22sit and eat with us.
00:46:24What a stray thing, bitch.
00:46:25What was that?
00:46:29I just want to have
00:46:30our family together.
00:46:32Fine.
00:46:33We'll stay.
00:46:35Can I have a little napole?
00:46:37It's okay, sweetie.
00:46:38We'll get something
00:46:39right after.
00:46:40Like, drive-thru?
00:46:42I hope you enjoy
00:46:44food poisoning.
00:46:45That will be a
00:46:46particularly memorable
00:46:47Christmas present.
00:46:50No safe.
00:46:51Ow.
00:46:52Please, are you okay?
00:46:54That's fine.
00:46:55You hit my child.
00:46:57You're fucking crazy.
00:46:58Well, if you teach
00:46:59her some manners,
00:47:00maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:47:05Don't worry, baby.
00:47:07I'll handle it.
00:47:10Don't worry, baby.
00:47:11I'll handle it.
00:47:15I...
00:47:17Sweetie,
00:47:17are you ready to try
00:47:18the best food
00:47:19you've ever had
00:47:20in your life?
00:47:23Okay, sweetheart.
00:47:24Give me two minutes
00:47:25and one phone call.
00:47:27As if you have
00:47:28a chef on speed dial.
00:47:30Actually, I do.
00:47:32He's such a liar.
00:47:33This ought to be
00:47:34hilarious.
00:47:35Oh,
00:47:36it will be.
00:47:39Sam!
00:47:40Yeah?
00:47:41Send the troops
00:47:42and bring that
00:47:43king crab
00:47:43from Antarctica.
00:47:45I'm already on my way.
00:47:49Bring that king crab
00:47:51from Antarctica.
00:47:52I'm already on my way.
00:47:55You hear this guy?
00:47:56He wants the best
00:47:57king crab in the world
00:47:59from Antarctica.
00:48:01Now I get why
00:48:02you married him, Eva.
00:48:04His silly delusions
00:48:05are just adorable.
00:48:07X,
00:48:08what about you?
00:48:09Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:48:10Santa's already on this way.
00:48:11Actually,
00:48:13five,
00:48:14four,
00:48:16three,
00:48:17two,
00:48:19one.
00:48:21A helicopter?
00:48:29There's no way.
00:48:36How did you hold us off?
00:48:38His name is like family.
00:48:39I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:48:41Thanks, boss.
00:48:43Boss?
00:48:44Eva's always been
00:48:45genuine with me.
00:48:46Maybe it's time
00:48:47to know who I really am.
00:48:49Eva,
00:48:49I think it's time
00:48:50you actually know
00:48:51the truth.
00:48:52I'm
00:48:53Maximus Harrison.
00:48:55You're
00:48:57CEO
00:48:58of Harrison Group?
00:49:02Come on.
00:49:05You can stop
00:49:06kidding around.
00:49:07You're a CEO.
00:49:08Why would you be here
00:49:09pretending to be my husband?
00:49:11I actually am
00:49:12the CEO.
00:49:13Come on.
00:49:13You can stop
00:49:14the charade.
00:49:15Okay,
00:49:15this is just another favor
00:49:16from that big,
00:49:17big friend,
00:49:17isn't it?
00:49:18Eva?
00:49:19I'm not pretending.
00:49:21Mr. Harrison,
00:49:23the Antarctic king
00:49:23crab,
00:49:24as you requested.
00:49:35How is this possible?
00:49:37This loser brings
00:49:39an Arctic king
00:49:40crab and has
00:49:41his own
00:49:42personal chef?
00:49:43Who are you?
00:49:45I told you.
00:49:46Me, this husband.
00:49:48That chef
00:49:49called him
00:49:49Mr. Harrison.
00:49:51But,
00:49:51no.
00:49:52Hold on.
00:49:54You're the actual
00:49:55CEO of the
00:49:56Harrison Group?
00:49:59You're worth more
00:50:00than some whole
00:50:00countries.
00:50:01Hmm.
00:50:02Some of the
00:50:02small ones.
00:50:04I mean,
00:50:04you know that.
00:50:06You work for me.
00:50:07Okay.
00:50:08I insult
00:50:09my own boss.
00:50:10I'm finished.
00:50:16Okay.
00:50:17I insult
00:50:18my own boss.
00:50:19I'm finished.
00:50:21Didn't think
00:50:22Max would commit
00:50:22this hard.
00:50:23Pretending that
00:50:24his CEO
00:50:24is a hell of a
00:50:25move.
00:50:26Worth every penny
00:50:26I'm paying him.
00:50:27For tonight,
00:50:29you're she-sense.
00:50:30And with that,
00:50:31you're Karina.
00:50:33You're fired.
00:50:34I'm fired?
00:50:35Sam?
00:50:40You're fired?
00:50:41God.
00:50:42I can't be fired!
00:50:44What?
00:50:46Mr. Harrison,
00:50:47please.
00:50:47You can have
00:50:48as much crab
00:50:48as you want.
00:50:49Please.
00:50:50Mr. Harrison,
00:50:50I'll do anything.
00:50:52Guys,
00:50:53I got the trash.
00:51:00And you.
00:51:01Oh, me?
00:51:03Mr. Harrison,
00:51:04come on.
00:51:05That was a
00:51:05Christmas joke,
00:51:06a family tradition.
00:51:08Yeah, well,
00:51:09there's a new
00:51:10family tradition.
00:51:11Sam?
00:51:16What will you
00:51:16do me the honors?
00:51:18Daddy.
00:51:20I love you.
00:51:24Daddy.
00:51:24Very cushy.
00:51:27Father,
00:51:28do something!
00:51:30You kind of deserve that.
00:51:32I'm leaving!
00:51:34I'm getting her
00:51:35favorite.
00:51:42Come on, sweetie.
00:51:43Daddy had this crap line just for you.
00:51:46Eat as much as you want.
00:51:47Yes, daddy.
00:51:51I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:51:54I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:51:56Honestly?
00:51:58This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:52:00Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:52:02Just like this.
00:52:04Does he really mean that?
00:52:06Or is he just playing the part?
00:52:08I can't tell.
00:52:09And that terrifies me.
00:52:16Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison.
00:52:17I brought you a gift.
00:52:19Here's the fraternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:52:26Oh, this is wonderful.
00:52:30Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:52:33Tell me everything.
00:52:34Miss Elizabeth, single mother, small-town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:52:40Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:52:44A high school dropout?
00:52:46In the Harrison family?
00:52:49Not a chance.
00:52:51Not a chance.
00:52:53She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:52:57Maximus seems to like her.
00:52:58Silence.
00:52:59Get me the address where she works.
00:53:01It's Happy Hills on Broadway.
00:53:03That's nice.
00:53:04We own that one.
00:53:06Good work.
00:53:08That's a stupid hat.
00:53:20Thanks.
00:53:21So your dad insisted that I try this one.
00:53:23I just didn't save him for 20 years.
00:53:27Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:53:29Yeah, how about you?
00:53:33Me?
00:53:35Yeah.
00:53:37Are you happy with your new husband?
00:53:42Eva?
00:53:54What birthmark?
00:53:56Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:54:02Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:54:04So much we're not telling each other.
00:54:08No feelings, no complications.
00:54:10That's what we agreed upon.
00:54:11Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:54:14Max.
00:54:15Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:54:18It's cold.
00:54:20Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:54:23Max.
00:54:26I need to tell you something.
00:54:30Something important.
00:54:31What's gotten into her?
00:54:33Is she hiding something?
00:54:35Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:54:39I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:54:44Piper is...
00:54:47Piper is...
00:54:48Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:54:51Sweetie.
00:54:52Oh, my gosh.
00:54:53I'm swimming.
00:54:54I must have known when that witch smacked her with a fork earlier.
00:54:57Listen, you stay good with Daddy.
00:54:58Mommy's gonna go get a first date, okay?
00:55:02Come on, Piper.
00:55:06Okay, let me see.
00:55:10I promise I won't let anybody hurt you or Mommy again.
00:55:15But that's not true.
00:55:16You were leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:55:21Daddy!
00:55:30Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:55:35Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:55:39Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:55:41Really?
00:55:41Please stay, Daddy.
00:55:46You think it will start?
00:55:52I wouldn't worry about it.
00:55:54Scars make you look like a badass.
00:55:56I have one, too.
00:55:58Dad.
00:56:00I got that when I was about your age.
00:56:02Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:56:05Really?
00:56:05No way.
00:56:07No.
00:56:07It was actually a cactus.
00:56:09But it's still cool.
00:56:12I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:56:18Piper, how long have you had that?
00:56:20My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:56:28And how old are you?
00:56:29Six.
00:56:31Six?
00:56:31That one night's dance was about seven years ago.
00:56:34Okay, I found the first-aid kid.
00:56:37Eva, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:56:41What do I even say?
00:56:43And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:56:45Sorry, honey.
00:56:46This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:56:50Um, yeah.
00:56:54Can I see your hands, sweetie?
00:56:56Eva.
00:57:01Hey, look.
00:57:06Piper is...
00:57:11Go on.
00:57:18There must be an emergency.
00:57:21Excuse me.
00:57:22Sorry.
00:57:23Excuse me.
00:57:30Mommy, are you okay?
00:57:32Yeah.
00:57:34Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:57:37I don't even have the cuts to tell the truth.
00:57:42Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:57:45I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:57:48She's a high school dropout.
00:57:51Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:57:53And she's only fit to raise my granddaughter.
00:57:55I'm your husband.
00:57:57Max, that man has no idea what a treasure.
00:58:02He's missing out on her.
00:58:06I'm sorry, Max.
00:58:07You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:58:09Your mother would take her away.
00:58:11After Christmas, it's over.
00:58:15Eva?
00:58:17Maximus?
00:58:18Are you even listening to me?
00:58:20No, Mom, Mom.
00:58:21Listen, I'm sorry, okay?
00:58:23Eva's my wife, and I made up my mind.
00:58:25I'm not leaving her.
00:58:28Eva.
00:58:33Oh, my God.
00:58:35See?
00:58:35You're on the bed.
00:58:39Oh, I'm good.
00:58:40This is for you, Brandon.
00:58:47Oh, wow.
00:58:48Oh, that's so good, would you mind me?
00:58:51Uh, Derek, this is from...
00:58:53... either of them.
00:58:54Oh, you're so welcome.
00:58:56Just...
00:59:01Oh!
00:59:03Happy birthday!
00:59:05Grandpa!
00:59:05Wayne Lynch, look at yours!
00:59:13Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:59:15It's in the other room by the train set.
00:59:17Here, I'll do it with you.
00:59:18There's a song we sang.
00:59:19Hey!
00:59:20Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:59:23What do we got, guys?
00:59:24Welcome home from our house!
00:59:25Christmas Eve!
00:59:30You never told me...
00:59:34...have we met before?
00:59:39...have we met before?
00:59:42She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:59:47I don't remember what you're getting at.
00:59:51Eva, I had the same birthmark as Piper.
01:00:02I don't know what you're talking about.
01:00:03Lots of people have birthmarks, they're very common.
01:00:05I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
01:00:09No matter how I feel about him.
01:00:13Maybe.
01:00:16Are you okay?
01:00:19Are the claws a bad idea?
01:00:22I don't know.
01:00:24I'm fine.
01:00:27Um...
01:00:27Oh, I almost forgot.
01:00:32I got shoes.
01:00:33You got me a gift, too?
01:00:35Kiss the season.
01:00:37Okay.
01:00:51Close.
01:00:53Did you make these?
01:00:55Yeah.
01:00:56I know this is a fake marriage, but...
01:00:58It's Christmas.
01:01:00You've already done so much for me.
01:01:01I just wanted to do a little something for you.
01:01:03Okay.
01:01:06How do they feel?
01:01:07Warm, right?
01:01:09Yeah.
01:01:10Warm.
01:01:12Soft.
01:01:16Perfect.
01:01:20Thank you, Eva.
01:01:22I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:01:26Really?
01:01:28Yeah, my mom.
01:01:29She partied all the time.
01:01:31And...
01:01:32I got gifts.
01:01:33Plenty of them, but...
01:01:35Um...
01:01:36I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:01:39Nothing...
01:01:40Personal.
01:01:41But you deserve it.
01:01:43You're a good guy.
01:01:45And that...
01:01:47Someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:01:53What if that day's today?
01:01:58What if Hardy found someone special?
01:02:02Right here.
01:02:07Please.
01:02:15Please.
01:02:25Please.
01:02:26Please.
01:02:27Please.
01:02:28Please.
01:02:28Marius, we can't...
01:02:31If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:02:40I want you to stop.
01:02:48No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:03:04No matter how many years pass, I just want to leave the house.
01:03:09I'm going to stop.
01:03:15Try it.
01:03:16Try it.
01:03:22Parker!
01:03:31Barbara?
01:03:53Eva?
01:03:57Grandma, I'm up here!
01:04:12That was way too close.
01:04:14Yeah.
01:04:15We would have gotten on a naughty list.
01:04:20Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:04:25Can I still unwrap my present?
01:04:30Yeah, you still haven't given me mine.
01:04:36I'll be given it to you.
01:04:39I'll be given it to you.
01:04:40No, I'll be given it to you.
01:04:42No, I'll be given it to you.
01:04:48Yes, yes, yes.
01:04:51No, I'm up here.
01:04:52No, no, no.
01:04:56No, no, no.
01:04:58No, no, no.
01:05:04No!
01:05:21Hello?
01:05:22Hello, Eva Smith.
01:05:24I'm Max's mother.
01:05:26Name your price.
01:05:27What would it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:05:30W-what?
01:05:31We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:05:34I'm Max's mother.
01:05:34Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:05:39My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:05:43Piper is my daughter.
01:05:45And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:05:48So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:05:50But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:05:55That's my beautiful wife.
01:06:01You okay?
01:06:06We made it to Christmas.
01:06:10So I think it's best to go our shepherd ways.
01:06:14What are you talking about?
01:06:16It's over.
01:06:17It's not that hard to understand.
01:06:22Eva, wait!
01:06:27So last night meant nothing to you?
01:06:34It's not real.
01:06:36None of it was real.
01:06:38So, this is just a goodbye.
01:06:42I didn't realize that was so disposable for you.
01:06:45Look.
01:06:47Last night, I let my car down.
01:06:51But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:06:54And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:06:57Just tell me what you need.
01:07:00I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband.
01:07:02A good father.
01:07:04Just say the word.
01:07:10You don't get it.
01:07:13You don't get it.
01:07:21You don't get it.
01:07:46are we here yes as much as i don't want us to be we're back
01:08:02how could you just walk away
01:08:12don't forget you have to eat my mom it's part of the agreement too
01:08:16can i just pay you a little extra and save it
01:08:19you promised eva i haven't asked you for much
01:08:23can you do this for me please
01:08:27all right fine one
01:08:30two days i'll come pick you up
01:08:33don't need just send me the address of mommy back
01:08:42i know you and mommy thought but she still really likes you
01:08:47so don't give up okay daddy
01:08:50thank you sir
01:08:51if there's one thing you should know about your daddy
01:08:53i always fight for the ones i love
01:09:16he was meeting my mother today time to finally explore the truth
01:09:21boss
01:09:23boss
01:09:27lady and gentlemen
01:09:28i am so sorry
01:09:30i need to go and back my family
01:09:32family
01:09:33boss you okay
01:09:35never better
01:09:38go get her max
01:09:44there he is
01:09:47maximus darling
01:09:49i have some prospects for you
01:09:52nice high society girls from the city
01:09:57oh
01:10:00i told you i already found the woman i love
01:10:09maximus stop this
01:10:11that evil woman is scamming you son
01:10:15tell me what kind of woman you want and i'll find you another
01:10:19you are heir to the harrison dynasty
01:10:22no i'm not
01:10:25oh
01:10:26i work in waste management
01:10:28and i'm a secret crime boss
01:10:30i'm eva's husband
01:10:32and i'm a father
01:10:35what
01:10:50that's her
01:10:51the woman who got my son head over heels
01:10:56hi welcome in
01:10:57can i help you find something
01:11:00i want to try those
01:11:04awesome i'll get them for you right away
01:11:07are you
01:11:08sure you wouldn't want something more sensible
01:11:13no no no
01:11:14i know what i want
01:11:16size seven
01:11:19oh baby can't even walk
01:11:21but she wants three thousand dollar heels
01:11:22come on
01:11:24she wants the white shoes
01:11:30ignore her
01:11:31she's just grumpy over the holidays
01:11:33here let me help you
01:11:39she seems kind
01:11:42i shouldn't be that impressed she's just doing her job
01:11:52how do you feel
01:11:53well i love the style
01:11:55but it's too small
01:11:56i think i need to size up
01:11:59maybe my feet are still growing
01:12:04right away
01:12:05i'll be right back
01:12:07she's not only kind
01:12:08she's patient
01:12:09was that wrong about her
01:12:26are you only here
01:12:29that's just
01:12:30well who gives a shit
01:12:32she can't walk
01:12:35that's just pure evil
01:12:40oh come on
01:12:42oh come on
01:12:42say eva
01:12:43she's in a wheelchair
01:12:45who cares
01:12:46it's the last pair
01:12:47i get paid commission
01:12:54i'm not doing that
01:12:56missa
01:12:57see
01:13:00this is your whole problem
01:13:03this is why you'll always be crook
01:13:06i don't care if she can walk or not
01:13:09i'm not sending her joke
01:13:12she has to deal with people like this
01:13:14people who insult her all day
01:13:17i'm
01:13:19i'm
01:13:19your manager
01:13:23sell the old bitty the shoes
01:13:26or you're fired
01:13:32did i stutter
01:13:38you don't have to fire me
01:13:42i quit
01:13:48i don't work here anymore
01:13:51listen
01:13:51don't buy the shoes
01:13:54they're broken
01:13:55spend your heart and money in spare
01:13:56okay
01:13:56you're a good person
01:13:58after all
01:14:00looks like i misjudged you
01:14:03i'm sorry
01:14:06why are you still here eva
01:14:08get out
01:14:38you're not disabled
01:14:44fired
01:14:45you are a good person
01:14:47from now on
01:14:48this store is yours to run
01:14:53are you serious
01:14:57that's right
01:14:58don't be nervous child
01:15:00you are professional
01:15:03responsible
01:15:04far better than that two-bit manager
01:15:09you are a good person
01:15:12i'll leave
01:15:34i'll leave
01:15:37and that row
01:15:38and the entire display case
01:15:41pack it all up
01:15:43and bring it to my house
01:15:48once we're home
01:15:49once we're home
01:15:49i'll tell her i'm her mother-in-law
01:15:51i can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:16:03i can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:16:21last
01:16:24what are you doing here
01:16:26i uh...
01:16:28there you are eva
01:16:30wonderful we can finally meet each other properly
01:16:34my new
01:16:34daughter-in-law
01:16:36what are you talking about
01:16:40that means we really are the ceo of herc
01:16:45well i've tried to tell you but
01:16:47stop
01:16:49and you
01:16:51you lied to me as a store
01:16:54you're both just testing me
01:16:56is this some sick game rich people play
01:16:58i'm sorry eva
01:16:59i thought you might be using my son
01:17:01just after his money
01:17:03but i was wrong
01:17:05eva please
01:17:05i don't deserve to be treated like this
01:17:08and every working class girl is after your money
01:17:11did you think that of me
01:17:13it's not like that dear
01:17:15eva what are you talking about
01:17:40eva
01:17:41mom
01:17:43what did you do
01:17:46girl stop pretending like you care
01:17:48i'm not pretending
01:17:49okay i can't fake what we have
01:17:51in everything i've done for you and piper
01:17:54this is real
01:17:59touch my wife again and i will snap every finger that you've got
01:18:09i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:18:12i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:18:13a good father
01:18:14just be the word
01:18:18see
01:18:19see
01:18:20stop fighting
01:18:23we belong together
01:18:25you're wrong
01:18:28wrong about what
01:18:29wrong about what
01:18:30that you care
01:18:32or we belong together
01:18:33look i already told you
01:18:35we're in two completely different worlds
01:18:37you know i held up my end of the deal and i met your mother like we discussed
01:18:41i want a fake divorce from my fake cousin
01:18:47eva
01:18:51eva
01:18:53eva
01:18:53i'm sorry maximus
01:18:55walking away is the only choice i have
01:19:04eva
01:19:06are you ok mommy
01:19:07yeah sweetie i'm fine
01:19:19no you're not fine you're sad
01:19:23i'm ok sweetie
01:19:27I miss daddy too
01:19:32I want Max to be my real daddy
01:19:37Don't you want to be with him?
01:19:42You're right
01:19:44What am I doing? Running like a coward?
01:19:48I always taught you to be brave
01:19:51Now it's time for mommy to be brave too
01:19:54I believe in you
01:19:56What are you going to do mommy?
01:19:58I know exactly what to say
01:20:03Maximus deserves to know
01:20:05I birthed his daughter
01:20:13Enough sulking
01:20:15Go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:20:18Don't you think I want to?
01:20:21She doesn't want me
01:20:23I didn't raise you to give up
01:20:25Your daughter is still out there
01:20:26You can't abandon her
01:20:28Mom, you don't get it
01:20:29I made a deal with Eva to play my wife
01:20:33And Piper, she was an added bonus
01:20:37What are you talking about?
01:20:39I already ran a DNA test
01:20:42Piper is your daughter
01:20:44What?
01:20:46It's Eva yourself
01:20:53That's right
01:20:54Seven years ago
01:20:56In years, that woman was Eva
01:21:10Eva, I missed you so much, you know
01:21:22I missed you so much, you know
01:21:25I missed you so much, you know
01:21:28I came back
01:21:32I, uh...
01:21:35Don't forget to be brave, mommy
01:21:44I, uh...
01:21:45I was scared
01:21:46But I don't want to be scared anymore
01:21:49Because what we have is real
01:21:50And it's worth fighting for
01:21:54Sweetheart, I have something to tell you
01:21:57I have something to tell you, too
01:22:01I appreciate your daughter
01:22:03You knew
01:22:05My sweet granddaughter
01:22:07Mama
01:22:11I just found out for sure a few minutes ago
01:22:14But you've known this whole time?
01:22:15I was scared
01:22:17Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me
01:22:19I didn't know how you were feeling
01:22:22How could you not know how I felt?
01:22:36I love you, Eva
01:22:40I love you, too
01:22:42I promise
01:22:43For the rest of my life
01:22:44I'm going to make it up to you
01:22:47As long as we're together
01:22:49It doesn't matter where we are
01:23:01Will you marry me, Eva?
01:23:03For real this time?
01:23:05Yeah, yes
01:23:07Yes, of course
01:23:08I'll marry you
01:23:14Hi
01:23:21Looks like yourself would be the next Christmas
01:23:24And the Christmas after that
01:23:25And forever
01:23:29I won't have it any other way
01:23:36What's that?
01:23:38Eva!
01:23:41Take me back!
01:23:44Oh, my!
01:23:45I'll show you dark!
01:23:49Looks like I have to take out the trash
01:23:51Again
01:23:55No?
01:23:56Not funny?
01:23:57No?
01:23:58No?
01:23:59No?
01:24:00No?
01:24:01No?
01:24:01No?
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