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Short filmTranscript
00:10Oh
00:18Are you insane
00:35Elaine I've been attacked that getting of lunatics were shooting blueberries at me
00:42Elaine Denton reporting live from port when inside the offices of doc martin
00:49Victim, whatever that is. We don't have time for it. Okay. We have a packed schedule and I need you
00:53to secure the perimeter
00:54Unaware that his first patient was already in the exam room doc martin was apparently also unaware of the fact
01:02that this weekend is the annual blueberry
01:06Festival a tragic turn of events for a tragic man named doc martin who was a doctor I
01:19I
01:20Just love the blueberry festival the street fair the tarts the pies stop talking and open your mouth
01:28I'm gonna be getting in the vat and stomping blueberries to make wine not with this foot fungus. You're not
01:33I'm deathly allergic to blueberries, but I want to eat like a lot of pie
01:37So can you give me a pill that makes it okay? Yes, of course really? No
01:42that way
01:44All right, Elaine, we only have five minutes for lunch. Why don't you go out and get
01:48Where is everyone?
01:50Faced with an empty waiting room doc martin finally had room
01:54To feel empty will you stop with that voice have to get this reporter thing right?
01:59I'm covering the blueberry festival on my live stream. I want it to look professional and dressing up as newscaster
02:04smurf screams professional
02:07We have eight patients this afternoon and my aunt's supposed to be next. Where is she? Yeah, everybody canceled
02:14No one is going to the doctor on a friday afternoon during the blueberry festival
02:18Actually, shouldn't you be getting ready to ready for what you're gonna be a judge in the big blueberry pie
02:23contest tomorrow?
02:24Oh, no, I'm not
02:24Okay, but you are because dr. Reese was always a judge
02:27Yeah, but i'm not dr. Reese. I am here with a local old old man who is disoriented and confused
02:35He thinks that he can ignore one of our most beloved traditions beloved traditions
02:39Please see people would throw a parade at a new stoplight. I'm not a pie judge. I'm a physician. Where
02:46are you going?
02:46I'm going to see my next scheduled patient more on this developing story as it develops reporting alive
02:52From over here by my desk. I am elaine denton for eyewitness blues
02:59That was it that was it
03:03Okay, all the festival blues. Yep. They're going right there
03:07All right now doc all right now
03:18Hey, good morning got some for you see you at the pie contest judge martin
03:32Okay, okay, and the dunk tank it's going right over there. Oh, hey, sorry. Give me a second
03:41But this
03:48Will you stop following me? Just go away put that down. It's not mine
03:54shoo
04:01Well, good morning to you
04:03Good morning perfect weather for the festival wouldn't you say
04:08Hmm seem to be taking it very seriously my favorite time of year
04:13When doesn't all that bother your skin or your eyelids all that face paint face paint
04:20What face paint
05:02What a nice surprise
05:05And you're just in time for lunch. Yeah, not here for lunch
05:08You're just dropping by
05:10I've just been thinking that we should spend more time together and look now here you are
05:15I've come here to give you your physical
05:18What your file says you haven't had a checkup in three years
05:21Why don't you hop up on the counter and we'll take a look at you. Oh, you gotta be joking
05:25There's nothing funny about a 73 year old woman avoiding her annual urinalysis. Now up you go
05:30If you think i'm going to let you examine me in my own kitchen
05:33Then i'm going to have to fillet you with my boning knife and so i need you to take this
05:38seriously
05:38You may be my doctor, but you're also my nephew and right now we're having lunch
05:43So wash your hands
05:46Honestly
05:49You know they've asked me to be a judge at the pie contest
05:54With you and I said yes. I thought that that would be fun
05:59I hear that elizabeth evans
06:02Is making some kind of blueberry meringue or something like that
06:07Are you really taking all these medications?
06:10Well, two of them are for my high blood pressure and the rest are I don't know
06:13Osteoporosis acid reflux high cholesterol. Good god woman. You're a ticking time bomb
06:20And this fried fish for lunch isn't helping the situation either
06:24Have you thought about getting some exercise maybe some leafy greens in your diet?
06:27Dr. Reese told me to avoid the leafy greens because they might interact badly with my blood thinner and I
06:33might pass out or something
06:34And kale tastes like crap. There's a new medication on the market that won't have those complications. I'll write you
06:39a prescription
06:41In the meantime, we're going to have a chat about skipping medical appointments at your advanced age
06:45If you're going to continue to play doctor, I don't want to eat lunch with you so get out
06:49Just go and see it's pie contest
06:52I'm not judging the pie contest and then I won't see at all
07:00Fried fish is delicious
07:18Oh
07:19Judge martin
07:19What do you prefer flaky pie crust or puffy you lost me a judge?
07:24Judge martin. Do you enjoy a latticework topping? I don't trust myself to do a leaf pattern
07:30I'm not judging the pie contest. Oh, martin. Hello
07:34Where are you headed?
07:35Well, I'm on my way for some lunch, but it seems like blueberry mania swallowed this town whole
07:39Right. Well that time of year which reminds me i've been wondering um if you happen to like cinnamon
07:45I'm scared to ask, but why are we talking about spices or maybe vanilla or caramel little ribbons of caramel
07:50wrapping gently around your taste buds
07:52Oh, no louisa not you too. I'm sorry. I'm not going to be judging the pie contest
07:56I guess i'm just another desperate pie baker looking for an edge
07:59You've all lost your minds. Maybe but this is a big deal in a small town. I mean, it's it's
08:03nice. It's tradition
08:04It's competitive. Yeah, it's also high in fat and sugar
08:06Yeah, but first place is a little blue crown, but barry hammers always wins it always he always takes first
08:11always know the real competition in port
08:13When is for second? Oh wait
08:15What about ginger? You know, I mean that's an interesting combination right with the blueberries?
08:21Louisa louisa louisa i am not going to be judging martin did these berries look fresh
08:26No, no, no listen up everyone. I am the town doctor and my only concern is your health
08:31So you can skip your appointments and ignore your well-being
08:34But I will not be deciding the winner of your ridiculous contest because I don't care
08:45Okay
08:48Consider the ginger
08:50Talk about it later
08:55I'm delighted to have you in for lunch doctor. It was either this or be force-fed blueberries in the
08:59parking lot
09:00I'll take the garden salad with chicken, please
09:03Unfortunately, we don't have the garden salad today. I am so sorry. All right
09:07Steam fish no not that either shepherd's pie then
09:11Wouldn't that be lovely? We're out of that one, too. What do you have in the kitchen?
09:21Today in the kitchen we have greg
09:26It's this pie contest madness. Oh, no
09:28Every year he decides that he's the chef that he can cook and yet
09:33No, no, no, no, no, no, no
09:35I killed the stove. I swear I did. It's not fair
09:40I'm not allowed in there. I'm a pie contest judge conflict of interest and yes
09:45I heard that you stepped down from your post
09:48God knows who they're gonna get to replace you
09:49Oh, it's gonna be a long weekend
09:53What we still might have one last tuna salad in the back fridge. I hate mayonnaise. Oh beggars can't be
09:59choosers. I'll go check
10:04Tuna salad is delicious lots of mayonnaise
10:16I'm sorry
10:19I have to ask
10:22You're blue
10:24All of you and no makeup. You're just blue
10:29It's because of all the blueberries I eat
10:36You're not up. No, you can't be serious blueberries wouldn't
10:44Yo, that's on me yo, I'm so sorry totally totally my fault
10:49I just couldn't see you because my eyes
10:51Let's have a look doc touch your head back
10:53Okay, I think everything's fine. It's just allergies happens every year
10:56Yeah, how about you let me make the diagnosis and you stick to being an idiot seems fair
11:00All right, you need to come to my office. I can't doc. I gotta go set up the dunk tank
11:03Yes, I suppose a dunk tank is more important than you going blind. Come on this way
11:07Okay
11:10No, this way the other way mark this way
11:23It's ready. Okay, that's good. So just like keep my face in frame all the time. Yes
11:28Like I'll stay but
11:29Go go shoot
11:33You know they replaced you on the judging panel with birds big mistake
11:37You do not want to give my dad that much power power. It's a pie contest
11:41Oh, come on doc
11:43You know everything here is just so nice and people are so sweet
11:46We just need one day a year to be like really competitive and vicious like the purge
11:51But with blueberries. All right
11:53Well, the eye drops and the warm compress should help your eyes some
11:57But I strongly suspect you have writer's syndrome
11:59Really? I haven't written anything all week. Maybe a parking ticket and in my dream journal
12:05R.E. Writer's syndrome. Is it painful to urinate mark?
12:10Typically people suffering from writers can't see can't pee and can't climb a tree due to untreated chlamydia
12:16Chlamydia
12:18The STD chlamydia?
12:20Yes
12:21How many sexual partners have you had since your breakup with Louisa?
12:25I don't know like four five eight
12:32I think nine
12:33My friend Gretchen?
12:35Ten
12:35Debbie?
12:36Eleven
12:40Come on doc, you know what it's like big man small pond all the fish jumping into my net you
12:47get it
12:48Yeah, I'd rather not so you need to notify each of your sexual partners of their exposure
12:53Wait doc notify them like tell them that I might have given them that they might have chlamydia
12:59Exactly and this will clear up the infection subscription for doxycycline
13:03No wait doc doc wait so like a prescription that I need to like
13:08Go get filled yes, I assume you know how these things work elaine i'm going out to get some food
13:13and nothing is gonna stop me
13:18Okay, I guess I have to somebody's got to pick up meds from their mommy
13:22Shut up
13:23Shut up
13:51No charge, of course.
13:54And he's the one who wins first place in the pie contest every year?
13:57Him?
13:57Yeah.
13:58He's basically the blueberry festival mascot.
14:01A master baker.
14:02And he's blue.
14:03That's because year in, year out, all he eats is...
14:06No, that's ridiculous.
14:06You could eat every blueberry on the planet.
14:08It wouldn't turn you blue.
14:09You know, I turned orange when I was on that carrot diet.
14:11It's not the same thing, Bert.
14:12Tell that the blueberry.
14:13Judge Large.
14:14Almost done with your complimentary oil change.
14:17Ah, thanks, Billy.
14:18And hey, tell the missus I'd love to get my backyard weeded.
14:21No, there must be something wrong with him.
14:24Some condition.
14:25And he's using a...
14:26Leave him alone, Doc.
14:28Poor old blueberry.
14:29He looks a hell of a lot better now than when we were in high school.
14:33Scary berry.
14:34He was a real fright back then.
14:36Scary berry?
14:37Why did they call him that?
14:38Well, hey, Bert, your car's all done.
14:41Excuse me.
14:43My business.
14:46Hey, Billy, how's the bacon coming?
14:48You know, is the bottom still soggy?
14:54Oh, Martin, hi.
14:55I've been looking for you.
14:56I just wanted to apologize for being so forward about the pie contest earlier.
14:59I just think that maybe my ambition got the best of me.
15:02Why is this contest so important to you?
15:04Oh, well, I've always loved to bake.
15:08And in the past, I couldn't really try my best because I couldn't outshine Sally, my future mother-in-law,
15:14former future mother-in-law.
15:16I always had to wallow in third place and let her take second year after year.
15:20But now the gloves are off.
15:22You know, I'm not with Mark anymore.
15:24And I've got a brand-new baking trip up my sleeve.
15:27And I don't know.
15:28I just feel like maybe if I could just bust out of third place, that maybe I could get everyone
15:31to see me in a new light.
15:33You know how small towns can put you in a box, give you a label?
15:36You're the spinster.
15:37You're the idiot.
15:38You're the grump.
15:39Hi, Judge.
15:44And you, you're the...
15:48Heartbreaker.
15:54Well, it does seem like a colossal waste of time, energy, and food.
15:59But I suppose these little contests do help to distract people from the dreary realities of living in a bed
16:05-in town.
16:08Well, thank you for that.
16:10But this contest actually really means something to me.
16:14You know, especially this year when I'm trying to prove to myself, actually, that I can be more than I
16:20thought I could.
16:27Now listen, John.
16:29I let you off the hook last week twice because you were filling mailboxes with fish heads.
16:33All right?
16:33No.
16:34So you're going to do this for me.
16:35Okay?
16:36Here.
16:37Dude!
16:38This is crazy.
16:39Your name's on the prescription.
16:41The pharmacist is your mom.
16:43Okay, but she's really busy and she may not notice, okay?
16:46Here, come on.
16:46Give you my handcuff.
16:47I'm just going to do it.
16:51Your eyes look super groaning.
16:53Shut up, Johnny.
16:54Huh?
16:56Yeah.
16:57You little baby bike.
17:00Sally.
17:01What's supposed to go right here?
17:04Oh, what's for my next trophy, of course.
17:07Oh, but you're a judge this year.
17:08We should not be talking about the pie contest.
17:11Okay, here.
17:12Let me ring you up.
17:15With a new prescription that is $127.90.
17:18What?
17:21$127 a month?
17:22What the hell?
17:23Well, it's this new blood thinner that Dr. Best puts you on.
17:26It's very pricey.
17:27No, no, no.
17:28I'll just stick to the old one.
17:29I'm not paying that.
17:30Well, you do have one refill left.
17:32Should I call Dr. Best to make sure it's okay?
17:34No, no.
17:35I'm keeping him out of my personal health issues from now on.
17:39He comes to lunch and brings a stethoscope.
17:42Oh, is it cold on your skin?
17:44I bet Dr. Best has very warm hands.
17:47Sally.
17:47He's my nephew.
17:49All right.
17:51$21.45, then.
17:53Okay.
17:54Oh, hi, honey.
17:56What brings you in?
17:57Oh, hey.
17:58Hey, ma.
17:59I can't really talk right now.
18:00I have this developing crime situation down on Lincoln.
18:02I just need to fill this prescript real fast.
18:06No biggie.
18:07No diggity.
18:10Did Louisa do this to you?
18:12No, ma.
18:13Stop.
18:13What is it?
18:14No.
18:14Gonorrhea?
18:15Syphilis?
18:16The big H?
18:17The little H?
18:18No, no.
18:19There's nothing like that.
18:21And Louisa has nothing to do with it.
18:24It's...
18:25It's...
18:29It's chlamydia.
18:30Chlamydia?
18:31Well, that's not so bad.
18:34Everybody's had chlamydia, sweetheart.
18:36At least it's not the crabs.
18:37Crabs are so much worse.
18:39Looking down and seeing those little monsters snapping at you.
18:42Who gave this to you?
18:43Was it that Gretchen?
18:45Elaine's friend?
18:46The one with the face?
18:47They all have faces.
18:48Oh, yeah.
18:49Sounds right.
18:50She's awful.
18:50No.
18:51I don't know.
18:52I don't know.
18:53Honey, relax.
18:55You're a single man now.
18:57Something like this was bound to happen.
18:59I'm actually proud of you.
19:01Sowing your wild oats.
19:03And until this antibiotic kicks in, a good place to dip your doinker for a few minutes every night is
19:09a nice cold glass of 7-Up.
19:11Mom, stop!
19:13Hmm?
19:13Really?
19:15Yeah, honey.
19:17Something about the bubbles.
19:44It's better.
19:45This is not yet something.
19:48Ah!
19:48You're not supposed to be here.
19:50I'm still getting ready for tomorrow.
19:51I'm so sorry.
19:52Should I come back at a better time?
19:54Yeah, actually.
19:55This is a mess.
19:56Al can't be my cameraman anymore.
19:58He has to run the dunk tank tomorrow at the street fair.
20:01What are you doing here?
20:03I'm looking to see if Dr. Reese ever treated Barry Hammers.
20:07I need to understand why that man is blue.
20:09Something could actually be wrong with him.
20:11A whole half day off and you can't stop doctoring.
20:13I'm not going to find any files on there for Barry Hammers.
20:15I'm not?
20:16Blueberry?
20:17He was never a patient here.
20:19Like, ever.
20:20Someone actually told me.
20:21Was it Irma?
20:22I think it was Irma.
20:23Was it Irma?
20:24I don't know if it was Irma specifically.
20:26Irregard-
20:27Told you what?
20:28Irma says that Blueberry had some kind of horrible medical condition when he was in high
20:33school.
20:34He had to be seen by some specialist in Bar Harbor.
20:36A specialist?
20:37Yeah.
20:37Hey, listen, listen.
20:39You're going to be my cameraman tomorrow at the festival.
20:42Oh, I most certainly will not be doing that.
20:45Al is out.
20:46You're the only option that I have left.
20:47And I'm covering the festival from 9 a.m. to midnight tomorrow, so please wear some comfortable
20:51shoes, not these.
20:53For the last time, I will not be attending or participating in this godforsaken festival.
21:02What?
21:04What?
21:04What is this look?
21:07No, I just, I would just like to remind you that there are certain things that I'm doing,
21:15certain blood things that I am doing for you.
21:20Things that I may not want to do, but that I do anyway.
21:24So, maybe you could do something for me that you don't want to do.
21:31This is blackmail.
21:33Now, you are blackmailing me.
21:36And remember, this is the good side of my face.
21:44Doc Martin and Elaine's office, how can I help you today?
21:49Oh, yes.
21:50Okay.
21:51Yes.
21:53The doctor is needed at the salty breeze.
21:55Somebody has burned their hand.
21:59And I will see you tomorrow at the blueberry festival at 9 a.m. live from Port Wynn.
22:07Have a safe evening.
22:09And good night.
22:11He's been baking around the clock, not sleeping, not being careful.
22:16It'll be fine, but what isn't fine is people getting injured because of a pie contest.
22:22No, you can't wrap it up too much.
22:24I need my hand all day tomorrow.
22:25I have to bake.
22:26Do you hear what you're saying?
22:27I have to bake.
22:28You're having a nervous breakdown over a pie contest.
22:31I have to bake.
22:32Greg, honey, this pie contest is giving you an anxiety attack.
22:36But won't it be worth it if I win?
22:37No.
22:38All year long, all I hear about is George's lobster rolls and George's chowder.
22:43People just see me as the money guy.
22:46Some silent partner.
22:47George's less creative other half, but I'm more than that.
22:52Can't you just give him a sedative?
22:53Everyone in this town needs a sedative.
22:55I can't win the pie contest.
22:59Barry will win.
23:01Barry always wins.
23:03But for once, I'd like to just place second, third, honorable mention, tardist filling.
23:10It would prove that I can make things too, that I'm good with my hands.
23:14Just not this hand.
23:15I know.
23:16I should be happy for all of Barry's success.
23:20Irma told me what a troubled youth he had.
23:22Wait, what do you mean by that?
23:23Just how he rose above all his medical issues to become this local legend.
23:28I was a troubled teen too.
23:30In high school, the football team locked me in the janitor's closet after I highlighted my hair.
23:37Where's my prize?
23:39So you're saying Barry was sick as a kid?
23:41Terrible illness?
23:42It's just acne.
23:43Horrible acne.
23:44Apparently awful.
23:45Disfiguring.
23:46Irma went to the prom with scary Barry.
23:49So he had bad skin.
23:50And my mother disowned me.
23:52Maybe I should write that in Barry's across the top of my pie.
23:55Greg, honey.
23:57Hey, look at me.
23:58Look at me.
23:58Look that way.
24:00I love you so much.
24:02But this is not worth it.
24:04Year after year, you whip yourself up into a lather over a blueberry.
24:08Boom!
24:11Yes.
24:38Are you good in this though?
24:39Are you sick of that?
24:40Ah, okay.
24:44Reporting live from Port Wendt's annual blueberry festival.
24:48I am Elaine Denton.
24:50Let us take this moment to get the reactions from the man and woman on the street, shall we?
24:57This should be fascinating.
24:59Just seriously.
25:01So it's men and women on the street?
25:02It's everyone on the street.
25:03You want to get a reaction from the pig?
25:05Why don't you ask the pig a question?
25:07Hello.
25:08Good sir.
25:08How are you finding the festival this year?
25:12It's okay.
25:13Okay.
25:15So that's all you're feeling?
25:17Uh, okay.
25:19Oh no, I'm sorry.
25:20I'm asking.
25:20It's just okay?
25:21Uh, okay.
25:25Okay.
25:26Have you ever actually hit someone with your rolling pin?
25:31Cobbler, crumble, or crisp, can anything really compete with pie?
25:40Hello, ma'am.
25:41Have you traveled a great distance to sample Maine's finest blueberries here in Port Wendt?
25:47Elaine, it's me, Irma.
25:50How many people are watching my live feed now?
25:53What should I know?
25:54The number's at the top of the screen.
25:56What are you, like a hundred?
25:58Two.
25:59Al and someone named Port Wendy.
26:02That's it?
26:04Nobody else in the whole town is watching my coverage?
26:06It's not the moon landing, and everyone is here.
26:09Oh, it's a disaster.
26:11How am I ever going to get any kind of a national following?
26:13I can't even get my friends and neighbors to watch me.
26:15Wait.
26:16We have another live viewer.
26:19It's your mother.
26:20She's just tuning in now.
26:22No, babe, she's just commenting.
26:23Is that my laser?
26:29Oh, this is something.
26:30This is something.
26:31This is something.
26:31Doc!
26:35All right, now, everybody.
26:38One dollar per throw.
26:40All proceeds benefit the Jailhouse Black Mold Removal Fund.
26:45Oh, Kimberly, um, how are you?
26:48I got your message.
26:49Oh, right, about the, um, the notification.
26:52Right.
26:52Just want to keep you aware.
26:54So I just have to go, though, because it's just I have a dunk tank thing that I'm kind of
26:58doing right now.
26:58My mother heard the voicemail you left me.
27:01She did.
27:01I'm going to kill you.
27:03Okay.
27:03Okay.
27:04You know, we don't need to, like, hurl.
27:06Just, you know, we can...
27:07Okay, so if we just...
27:10Marilyn.
27:11Yvonne.
27:11Gretchen.
27:13Gretchen.
27:13Oh, you guys just got my call.
27:15That's good, because...
27:17That's good, because I sometimes with the voicemail, I wasn't sure.
27:19Okay, ladies, let's just remember that this is a game, huh?
27:23It's all for fun.
27:23A launcher than normal turnout at the dunk tank this year.
27:26All of the players seem very motivated.
27:29Your faces are just so angry.
27:31Okay.
27:32Woo!
27:33Hey!
27:34Whoa!
27:34That was a real slammer there, Karen.
27:35That was...
27:36My name is Carol.
27:38Carol.
27:39I meant...
27:39I knew that.
27:41She feels very strongly about eradicating that Jailhouse Mold.
27:45Just like, you gotta put some high heat on that.
27:48Woo!
27:48Hey, that was...
27:49What?
27:52Okay!
27:53I felt it.
27:54Everything got like, whooped!
27:59Okay.
28:05Okay, okay, okay, enough, enough, back up!
28:07Lady, come on!
28:08Come on, enough, enough!
28:10Okay, enough!
28:16Is this embarrassing for me?
28:18Yes!
28:18Yes!
28:21Attention!
28:22Attention, everybody!
28:23It's almost time!
28:24The judges have finished their final tasting round, and soon we'll begin the award ceremony
28:28for the annual Port Wendt blueberry pie contest!
28:32Now, somewhere in the crowd!
28:34Could be this year's winner!
28:35Who will it be?
28:36Come on in, and the Legion all grab a seat!
28:38Oh, wait, oh, wait, oh, wait, oh, wait, we're at capacity, sorry!
28:43Well, that's remarkable!
28:44Come on, you guys should have known!
28:46No, no!
28:48You know better than that!
28:49Two?
28:51Two?
28:53Two?
28:58Two?
28:59Two?
28:59Five?
29:00Three?
29:06Two?
29:11Well....
29:16Hey, boys...
29:18Yeah, we're at partie...
29:19crowded fire hazards completely shut out every year left behind every year i'm trying to watch
29:26this of course of course i'm sorry okay how many people are watching now from the live feed i mean
29:32one joss my mom okay because al made it inside then okay all right all right
29:38this is so stressful get a hold of yourself
29:46louisa you're cutting off the circulation in your fingers
29:49just another simple person trying to distract herself from the dreary reality i suppose
29:54i didn't mean to imply that you were simple i was only it's just a pie contest no it's more
30:01than
30:01that but you wouldn't understand because you don't want to understand and you don't want to
30:05understand because you actually don't give a crap i'm number two i'm number two good evening good
30:12afternoon mom i'm elaine denton recording reporting live inside legion hall where judging has just
30:21commenced demenced has ended and basically they've they've eaten all the pies and soon we'll know the
30:29winner live with me your daughter for blue witness eyes eyewitness blues
30:39ladies and gentlemen good afternoon uh we the judges have come up with our final decisions now as you
30:46know this is a blind taste test and it is my job privilege honor to announce the in third place
30:54pie 21
30:59that's me that's me that's me that's me no that's me no that's me wow big upset greg garrison has
31:09taken third place also mom can i keep the blazer i think it looks good on me
31:16i think it's a bit good on my place i need to do it i always went for it always
31:25does this mean
31:32and in second place we chose pie number seven
31:39c'est moi well mom you were right sally milo has taken second place again this year
31:57and thank you in first place excuse me
32:04in first place is pie 13
32:09what
32:15oh again and as always barry hammers takes first place in the annual court when pie
32:22bowling contest i didn't even i didn't even place
32:43i'm fine
32:45no your heartbeat is weak and irregular how long until the ambulance gets here 10 minutes they're all out of
32:50the hospital we can take her in my car no we need the oxygen we can do 10 minutes okay
32:55you just need
32:56to hold still and be quiet okay
33:05oh um clear the street outside of legion hall an ambulance is coming for sarah and everybody think
33:10good thoughts it's gonna be okay okay we're waiting for the ambulance
33:16don't understand she was fine all day right up until the last round of judging
33:20when did she start feeling ill we ate so much i think it started just when we were tasting the
33:26last few pies those pies
33:29well well she is on a wide assortment of medications possible some ingredient in one of the pies is
33:35interacting badly with which of those pies did she eat less um um that one number seven
33:40oh that's my pie okay i need you to tell me exactly what's in your pie right now every ingredient
33:45oh it's uh nothing unusual um lord lard in the um organic wheat crust and uh sugar cornstarch lemon
33:55blueberries of course oh do i have to say it yes just a sprinkle of powdered emma's cheek
34:06my mother always said it made the blueberries pop and anyways nothing i was like barely nothing
34:12there monosodium glutamate would only cause a slight increase in heart rate that's not what's
34:17happening here it's not the msg but that msg is a violation of contest rules all organic
34:22all homegrown ingredients you cheated sally milo i'm afraid we have to eliminate you from the
34:27competition no no george no well who made that pie number 14 over there
34:34that would have been in fourth place right that's mine that's that's my pie
34:41oh um hello everyone a very surprising turn of events here at the pie contest
34:47all right everyone everyone what pie did sarah eat before sally's that one pie 13 yeah yeah that's
34:54blueberries blueberry pie i can guarantee you that the ingredients in my pie are as always
34:59100 100 organic and homegrown did you grow your ingredients yourself yes and do you use any
35:05fertilizers or pesticides how dare you even ask me that do you even know what organic means are we
35:12gonna really let this outsider come into our town and question me blueberry the blueberry festival mascot
35:20excuse me i was merely asking i am merely telling you that i was guaranteed my pie's ingredients were 100
35:29certified organic
35:33wait you were guaranteed by whom by me i guarantee me you bought that pie didn't you no of course
35:43not i don't
35:44care if that pie came from your kitchen or the dumpster behind the salty breeze i only care about my
35:48aunt's life
35:49now do you or do you not know what's in that pie
35:52i don't know i bought it
35:57online but there was nothing unusual in it i swear to you i swear
36:02i wish i could describe the feeling in the room right now it is electric
36:06you're blueberry because of all the blueberries you eat
36:11because year in and year out around the clock you're baking blueberry pies i don't even know how
36:18to cook oh my gosh and it's not from blueberries bert he's been using colloidal silver for what 40 years
36:25you saw that dermatologist when you were a teenager and he prescribed it for your chronic acne right
36:31but he was only supposed to use the lotion for two months not decades and he turned himself blue which
36:36is a long-term side effect of overuse you have to stop using it i liked being blue it became
36:44my
36:44identity gave me a place in this town that wasn't the freak anymore that was a mascot
36:54at least i made my pie
36:58if i melt so see oh my god it is moments like these that remind us why we are alive
37:05and why we bake pies and what about you louisa what's in yours oh uh nothing i mean i mean
37:11nothing
37:12that could hurt her but didn't you say you had a new baking trick up your sleeve what was it
37:15i i soaked
37:15the blueberries in spinach water for 24 hours before baking i read about an old french cookbook it's
37:20supposed to keep the berries sweet but i promise i grew the spinach myself and i didn't break any
37:23rules i never break any rules well fresh blueberries and cold water would absorb a massive amount of
37:27calcium and oxalate from fresh spinach and her old blood thinners would have reacted negatively but
37:32i switched her to a new medication so that she didn't take the new medication because it was too
37:36expensive she's still on the old blood thinner i knew we should have called you the ambulance is
37:41almost here it's the spinach oh no she needs a shot of heparin she's going to be okay let's just
37:46sit
37:46her up i'm glad she's going to be okay but i can't over here just right this way just over
37:50here
37:50i just can't believe that i won the i actually won well i guess you'll be making my favorites all
38:01month fried chicken and mac and cheese and that al stop talking what gregory denise garrison did you
38:07just tell bert that we would more i would make his favorite meals if you won the pie contest oh
38:12wait wait
38:12it's not over yet folks no of course not i would never i mean i may have mentioned as a
38:18joke
38:20that we would cater to his tastes for a bit if i were to place in the contest i may
38:25have pointed
38:26out which pie was mine i don't know this contest makes me crazy well sarah is on her way to
38:33the
38:33hospital doc martin says she's going to be fine but if i'm not mistaken there is one last twist in
38:38the
38:39pie judging and yes here it comes gregory garrison you were summarily disqualified from the competition
38:45for unscrupulous behavior we will talk tonight he is out greg is gone and like a phoenix rising from
38:52the ashes which means the official and final winner of this year's annual portland blueberry pie making
38:59contest is can you believe what we are seeing here today louisa gavin
39:13we actually get sarah to the hospital no no you stay she'll be fine you did it you deserve this
39:21you won
39:27oh
39:28oh
39:28i
39:29uh
39:30i
39:38oh
39:39oh
39:39oh
39:39oh
39:39oh
40:02did i scare you
40:08yes
40:08yes
40:12i
40:13don't like the idea of being in this stupid town without you
40:18and
40:20if you couldn't afford the new medication you should have told me
40:22i'm sorry martin i just
40:27i was
40:28i was so annoyed because
40:29i
40:32i thought you were coming for lunch
40:35but you didn't
40:39and i just
40:41i'm just trying to make up for lost time
40:45i just want to
40:46you want to spend more time with me
40:49yeah
40:53well
40:56i may have rejected the role of pie judge
40:59but i will accept the role of your nephew
41:02you and you can be my weekly lunch date
41:06guaranteed
41:08twice a week
41:11provided you follow lunch with a brisk walk of at least ten thousand steps
41:15ten thousand steps
41:17and no more fried cod
41:21hello would anyone care for tonight's dessert ice cream
41:24is
41:30nope
41:31okay
41:48morning
41:49times
41:50trying
41:53to
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