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00:13Cadet Dan Ramey, personal message, stardate 868858.7
00:20Dear Mother and Father, in the three weeks since the Academy began, I'm confident I'm
00:25maintaining the standard of excellence we agreed upon.
00:30As I promised, last the bed, first the rice.
01:10Wait, you already...
01:12What time do you...
01:13For speed and agility days or for power days?
01:15Either.
01:154.40am for speed and agility, 3.30am for power.
01:18Anyway, I gotta go hit the track for sprints.
01:20See you around, sleepyhead.
01:22I strive to be first in each endeavor.
01:25Every day brings a new opportunity to prove myself.
01:29Starfleet Academy, report for cardio and sprint.
01:32War College, you have weight and flexibility.
01:35Move it, War College, move it!
01:37Watch your posture, cadets and all.
01:40Backstrain, you next knock, bitch.
01:41Keep those glutes in the air.
01:43Buns of steel, cadets.
01:45Starfleet maggots, I want to see that you want to be here.
01:48Do you want to be here?
01:49Let's go!
01:50Show me you're worthy of this uniform.
01:53Get moving!
01:54That's what I'm waiting for!
01:55Let's go!
01:58You call that a lunge?
01:59Lower, cadet.
02:01Lower.
02:02Down.
02:03To the lunge, cadet.
02:04To the lunge.
02:05What is this?
02:06Is this a team party?
02:07Get out!
02:08No, no, we're not...
02:10War College versus Starfleet Academy.
02:12Who will win?
02:14The caps are even.
02:15It's cadet near in the lead.
02:17Let's get out here for the win!
02:24Captain, disappointing slash.
02:26I'm your wallet.
02:26Dude, what was that?
02:28You were the best in the War College and smoked you.
02:31Embarrassing.
02:39Next station, Romeo.
02:42Every warrior knows that you live each day with an idol's death as she walks free and upright
02:48amongst the living.
02:49But if by chance you survive until tomorrow, we'll be having tryouts for the Calica team.
02:54Sign up here.
02:55Ow!
02:57Theram Raimi, captain of the Kionian All-Panet Under-18 team.
03:00Four years running.
03:01There is no need to speed it.
03:03It scared you.
03:08Genesis Life, captain of the Interbase Youth League.
03:11Five years and change.
03:13And top of a class.
03:14And student ambassador to the Model State Council.
03:17When do you sleep?
03:18Admiral's daughter.
03:20You don't need sleep.
03:21What happens if you do?
03:22You get court-martialed?
03:25I'll never know.
03:26Not easy being Admiral's daughter.
03:28Takes daddy's shoes to a whole new level for sure.
03:31Also makes losing.
03:32Out of the question.
03:33Too bad there can only be one captain though.
03:36If anything, sorry.
03:37Yes, you'll have to learn to live with disappointment.
03:40Good luck.
03:41You don't need to hurt.
03:42I'll cut the ponytail off.
03:43Do it.
03:44You do not grow up playing Calica either.
03:46I know.
03:47I haven't played anything.
03:48I'm not a team guy.
03:49I'm more of a rely on myself and don't get killed guy.
03:52Hey, hey, hey.
03:53Oh, what's...
03:53He says he's allergic to organized sports.
03:56So which part?
03:57The sports.
03:58And the fact that they're organized.
04:01Oh, that's funny.
04:07Academy cadets.
04:08Do you find it challenging to run?
04:10While also debating the ethical ramifications of hurting the floor.
04:13Do you find it challenging to be a war college douchebag?
04:16No, you're best.
04:17Dude, I just got smacked in the head.
04:19You're going to take up half our space.
04:21Get ready to be target practice.
04:23Oh, I see.
04:25We don't like each other.
04:26Don't talk.
04:28I smell...
04:31Fear.
04:32You know, properly channeled.
04:33Those feelings of inadequacy can lead to...
04:36Well, in your case, just more inadequacy.
04:38Better.
04:38Love the uniforms, guys.
04:40May be the only thing about the war college that stays relevant.
04:43All right.
04:44This has been fun, but I don't think you guys can afford to take any more time away from whatever
04:48it is you're, um, compensating for.
04:51Starfleet Academy is an experiment.
04:53Like all experiments, it must prove its value.
04:55The war college has nothing to prove.
04:56Then why'd you go out of your way to hit me in the head with the ball?
04:59You're an angry toddler?
05:00Yeah.
05:01Maybe our very large Klingon friend will smack the eyebrows off your freaking face.
05:11No blood will be shed on my court without my express permission.
05:17Ben to your classes!
05:18Now!
05:22Ah, Darren!
05:23I'm a scar.
05:24It's painful.
05:27How'd you get it?
05:28You ever fought someone with a knife between your ribs?
05:30I don't have ribs.
05:32You know, I used to know a guy like that war college bicep back on Cainia.
05:35Oh, please, God, no.
05:36My parents didn't think we were a good match.
05:38Your parents tell you who to date?
05:39Nah, well, I mean, the relationship was doomed after I slept with his sister.
05:42Both of them, actually.
05:44And their cousin.
05:45I would love to just have one shower without having to hear about Darren's multiple polycule underwater hookups.
05:54What the?
05:55We indeed violate the fundamental laws of temporal mechanics to achieve...
06:04Oh, boy.
06:05Okay, whoa.
06:07That's a lot.
06:23Get me out of here.
06:28Attention, Starfleet cadets.
06:30We did this because we could.
06:32And we will keep doing it.
06:33Because it is fun.
06:36Enjoy yourself.
06:43This is war.
06:53Do you aspire to be the best and brightest in the galaxy?
06:57Exceed your physical, mental, and spiritual limits?
07:03Be the captain of your own destiny and starfleet academy.
07:07Applicants of all speeches are welcome.
07:08Is the voiceover too stupid?
07:10We are about to have a prank war on our hands just as the oversight committee arrives.
07:15This is a PR dumpster fire.
07:17Commander, in our line of work, something is on fire.
07:23All the time and everything is on fire at that time.
07:29Be that as it may, as a War College graduate, I can promise you they shenaned once, they'll shenan again.
07:36Well done, number one, advice.
07:40I thought you would never ask, Chancellor.
07:43This is your only possible response.
07:49Demand a formal apology from Kelrak and he nips it in the bud or kills it in the cradle if
07:53you prefer.
07:54I'm good with a plant metaphor.
07:56It's not our job to resolve our students' problems for them.
07:59We're in the teach them how to fish business.
08:02Also, it's not fun.
08:04Remember those that see us as an experiment waiting to fail?
08:07You've said it yourself.
08:08Your tacit approval hands them ammunition in front of the committee.
08:11I'm beginning to get the feeling you don't trust me.
08:14Quite the opposite.
08:15I trust that you'll come to the right decision before it's too late.
08:19So you don't trust me?
08:20No, this is kid shit.
08:22Forgive my language.
08:24I'm pro-kid shit.
08:25They grew up in the burn.
08:27I'm not going to crush the life out of them anymore that the universe already has.
08:31Captain, Chancellor, I choose to work for you and not Kelrak for three reasons.
08:37I believe in Starfleet's mission of peace.
08:39And despite what you may think, I believe in you.
08:43What's the third thing?
08:45I just find him very odd.
08:48And that whole tea fetish.
08:50Tea fetish?
08:52Out of all the fetishes available?
08:55I'm going to give it one last pitch before I disregard your counsel.
08:58You know that a single transgression is like a weed.
09:04Yank it now or it multiplies and strangles the entire field.
09:08What's with you on the plant metaphors?
09:10I hear you, Commander.
09:12I do.
09:13Perhaps it would be beneficial if our cadets did too.
09:19That's a cool idea.
09:20Chancellor, we were basically naked.
09:22No, completely naked.
09:23Everybody was looking at us like we were insane.
09:25Like we're crazy.
09:25In front of the whole school.
09:26What about our honor?
09:28I took a bath for the first time.
09:29You want us to get back at him with botany?
09:32Seriously?
09:32I don't know, guys.
09:33Do you think botany can end a prank war or did you have other ideas?
09:37Yeah.
09:37Came back harder.
09:38Yeah.
09:38Bring some serious pain.
09:39Wait till exams and then fritz their servers.
09:42Like I was saying.
09:49We are going to plant and grow the rare and highly protected fetus reflux.
09:55Despite being known as the empathy flower, it's not actually a flower.
09:59It's a fungus.
10:05Speak your mind, cadet.
10:06Don't hold back.
10:11Chancellor, respectfully, this is the single dumbest idea I've ever heard.
10:15How is this strategic?
10:17Strategic.
10:18How is this strategic?
10:20How is this strategic?
10:24Ever read the art of war, Gramey?
10:27Art of war.
10:27This century B.C., Sun Tzu learned patience in the garden and respect for the opponent.
10:33They got you pretty bad.
10:35They got you pretty bad.
10:35If I may, Chancellor, it was not an original idea.
10:39The War College stole that prank.
10:42Cadet Sam ran a search through old Starfleet disciplinary records.
10:46In the 28th century, some cadets transported the entire first year class from the Islamic Star Wars to the Ruth
10:51of Alcatraz.
10:52It took the faculty half a day to get everyone down.
10:57No way.
10:58That's legendary.
10:59Then you've already learned your opponent's lack of imagination.
11:02Grab a trowel.
11:02Grab a trowel.
11:03Oh my god.
11:04Anybody who rolls their eyes, guess expel.
11:06Guess expel.
11:09Spritz the spores.
11:12Add the growth accelerant.
11:15Venus only blooms at night.
11:18So be patient.
11:21Plants are like cadets.
11:23All they need is water food and a little encouragement.
11:27Go, go, go.
11:32Specialist Krebs, your Talaxian furfly is attempting to mate with a beaker.
11:37Please intervene.
11:39It's doing great, buddy.
11:40I love you.
11:40Okay.
11:41Y'all ready for Calico tryouts?
11:43No, I will not pursue violence in any form.
11:47I have chosen the XO Ecology Club in that same time slot.
11:51I know.
11:52I respect that.
11:56But I swiped your delta while you were showering.
11:58I maybe signed you up?
12:02What the hell, Genesis?
12:03What?
12:04It's just...
12:04No, no, no.
12:05I'm not signing off for some culty school spirit war, okay?
12:09I don't do spirit tribes or teams.
12:12I want to be captain.
12:13I need to be captain.
12:15And when I am, I need my strongest players.
12:18You fought the B'Nori realm.
12:20Look around.
12:21Look at that.
12:24Sorry, sign your shoe.
12:34We need you.
12:36Please.
12:40How's your, um, your beta-zoic princess?
12:44President's daughter, and she's not anybody's.
12:46Well, I guess your tour was so compelling, she went and ran away to the war college.
12:53Shitting comment rejointed.
12:55But I get the vibe she likes sports.
12:57Okay.
12:58I'll do it if you stop talking.
13:02Strategy, skill, teamwork.
13:06Calica is more than just a game.
13:09I want you to write your minds and prepare your hearts for battle.
13:15There are two teams, each with a mascot.
13:18The mascot protects a target.
13:21The goal of the game is simple.
13:24Fight your way to the other side of the field and shoot a target guarded by the opposing team's
13:30mascot.
13:31Tryouts today will not be easy.
13:35You'll be scored in a series of drills.
13:38Highest score makes the team.
13:40I want you to strike with the force of a thousand tachyons.
13:46Strike until your opponent's innards liquefy and panned.
13:50And you'll do it all while wearing really snazzy uniforms.
14:01I'm a nerd jock hybrid.
14:04Each team is made up of eight players, a mascot, and an alternate.
14:07The mascot is the last line of defense.
14:10They protect the target.
14:12What kind of mascot?
14:13What are we working with?
14:14What we're working with is a hundred push-ups.
14:17Now!
14:18At the next interruption, two hundred.
14:20Using the mascot in the game is a tradition.
14:23Way back, Starfleet was a Laffling.
14:26Fuzzy, mean like a koala.
14:28Cute like a targ.
14:29They called him Laffy.
14:32They called him Laffy.
14:33So it's basically like a fun game of laser tag?
14:37Yeah.
14:38Just like laser tag.
14:42Laffling laser tag!
14:46What is happening?
14:48I warned you, tryouts would not be easy.
14:52Calica prepares you for real-world combat,
14:56which is why I will not have a losing Calica team at this academy.
15:01Today's obstacle course is designed to show me what each of you is made of.
15:06Every move you make will gain or lose you one individual point.
15:11Any cadet who rings the bell of victory at the end of the obstacle course
15:15wins a bonus point.
15:18The top eight cadets will make the team.
15:20The rest of you will live in shame.
15:23Begin!
15:28Release the drones!
15:35No, no, no, no!
15:59No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
16:09Bonus point!
16:10Raimi!
16:11A little feedback!
16:12You're trying too hard.
16:14Slow you down.
16:20The Calica game phaser.
16:23It will not win the game for you.
16:26Look who finally showed up.
16:28But it can keep you from losing.
16:30Better like the never.
16:31I'm showering with my Delta from now on.
16:33The phaser has only one setting.
16:37Oh!
16:40Transport.
16:42If you are hit, you will be beamed out of play and into the casualty box for the entirety
16:47of that round.
16:48You will be able to rejoin your team in the next one.
16:53Do not be late again.
17:06Lone Wolf came to play!
17:15Dad, why do you hate it, Stork?
17:17I do.
17:18I hate them.
17:20What?
17:23Yes, men!
17:24Yes!
17:26No, men!
17:27No!
17:30Mayor, disqualification.
17:38I can't see them through the smoke!
17:40I can't help you, please.
17:41I can't help you, please.
17:43I can't help you, please.
17:46I can't help you, please.
17:47I can't help you, please.
17:49Come on, she's porous!
17:52Yeah, the best of us are, and it's permeable, not porous.
17:57Get your keys straight.
17:59Five minutes left, cadets.
18:01If you want to make the team, impress me now.
18:04That's perfect.
18:06A little feedback?
18:07You're not trying hard enough.
18:09It's making you stupid.
18:19There's no blood?
18:20I want blood in it.
18:21You need blood in food to consider it food.
18:24To tear it to pieces.
18:25That doesn't sound healthy.
18:25That's the only way it should be.
18:27Brokeg blood pie, reggaeton, mama, grandpa, blood salsa, heart of tar, blood salsa, red love.
18:41Hey, can you distract me from me for a sec?
18:43With what?
18:44I don't know.
18:45Use your biting humor.
18:46Nothing about me is funny.
18:48Ha, that's funny.
18:50Cadillac.
18:53Greetings, more college brethren.
18:55Hey, you.
18:57Hello, my name is Jaden.
19:00Jaden.
19:00It means he who crosses oceans of fire.
19:04So, yeah.
19:05I'm Kyle.
19:07It means Kyle.
19:10Mm-hmm.
19:13Okay, great.
19:15As we were discussing Klingon humor,
19:17I discovered two Klingon jokes.
19:19Waiter, what is this ghar doing in my own matter?
19:26Screaming.
19:28Oh, because it's dying.
19:32Hold on.
19:33What, uh, what was the second one?
19:35Please, no.
19:40Excuse me, miss.
19:41Don't I know you?
19:42Nope.
19:43Yeah, I do.
19:46Tarima, right?
19:47Caleb Mayer.
19:48Short guide.
19:49Turns out you forgot to fill out a comment card.
19:52Shoot, I must have left you in my own pants.
19:54I can't remember how many stars I gave you.
19:55Five.
19:56Definitely five.
19:57Out of five?
19:58Doesn't sound like me.
20:00I get why you enrolled in the wrong school,
20:02but you could have just come to the academy
20:03and avoided me there.
20:04Believe it or not,
20:05I didn't choose to work all HZU.
20:07Uh-huh.
20:07Mm-hmm.
20:16Blink twice if this is a hostage situation.
20:21Ultimate theory.
20:22Oh, yeah?
20:22Your whole life on beta side was rules and walls,
20:24and now that you can go anywhere and be anything,
20:29you freaked out,
20:30and you chose the war callers because it's safer.
20:32Glib, reductive, and stupid.
20:34I'd love to be analyzed like this.
20:35Yeah, I get it.
20:36Too much freedom at the academy, right?
20:39Too many ancient Bajoran scripture classes,
20:41interspecies ethics courses, and yoga clubs.
20:47So you decided to join the asshole factory instead.
20:49Oh, and we're done.
20:51Look, I didn't mean you're an asshole.
20:52I'm the asshole, okay?
20:54Look, I'm sorry.
20:56But you...
20:57Anything before the word but is bullshit.
20:58No, no, no.
20:59You didn't even tell me.
21:01After everything that we've been through.
21:03Everything?
21:09Yeah.
21:09Yeah.
21:10I don't know.
21:10I kind of thought we had some...
21:13energy between us.
21:17Was I completely wrong?
21:34Are you okay?
21:37Did I do that?
21:43Caleb, we're strangers.
21:45Oh, okay.
21:47We are strangers.
21:49We're strangers, yeah.
21:50You feel a certain way about me,
21:51and you think I feel that way too,
21:54except I just haven't realized it yet.
21:56And you think if you keep barking at me,
21:57I'll eventually get there.
21:59You need all the school you can get.
22:13If you are here,
22:15then congratulations.
22:17Your scores yesterday were slightly less terrible
22:19than everyone else's.
22:22Or your score was just plain terrible,
22:26but you fit the Laplaine costume.
22:33Congrats, Lappy.
22:35Welcome to the Calica team.
22:37Sweet.
22:37It's an honor.
22:40And we didn't forget team captain.
22:43Blythe, Ramey, you guys tied.
22:45Commander Thock wanted you to settle it
22:47by digging each other's graves
22:49with the loser getting their eyes plucked out
22:52by baby Gorn.
22:53Unfortunately, we weren't able to get that
22:55cleared by the Alumni Association.
22:58Side-by-side shootout.
23:00The winner is your captain.
23:03Computer, activate simulation.
23:05Simulation is activated.
23:16Target one, tie.
23:19Target two, tie.
23:21Target three, tie.
23:24Target four, tie.
23:29Target five, tie.
23:32Target six, tie.
23:33Six to six, tie.
23:34Boy, you two just love a tie.
23:37First one to eight takes it.
23:40Target seven, tie.
23:42Making those daddy issues work for you.
23:43What did you say, you piece of shit?
23:46Target eight, Ramey.
23:48Target nine, Ramey.
23:51Derram Ramey is your new Calica captain.
24:07Let's hear it, come on, let's hear it, let's hear it, let's hear it.
24:09Come on, let's hear it, let's hear it, let's hear it.
24:13What's that supposed to be?
24:15I believe it is a captain's chair,
24:16and I believe he's hoisted by his whooping posse of dudes.
24:21This guy's insufferable.
24:22Come on, let's hear it.
24:24Come on, let's hear it.
24:25Come on, let's hear it.
24:26Come on, let's hear it.
24:27Come on, let's hear it.
24:32Do you aspire to be the best and brightest in the galaxy?
24:40Good God.
24:42I soiled my mouth.
24:43I gotta die.
24:45God!
24:50Where am I?
24:56Exceed your physical, mental, and spiritual limits.
25:04Be the captain of your own destiny at Starfleet Academy.
25:08Where did they find these people?
25:18Calm down.
25:20That's funny.
25:21Oh yeah.
25:22Oh, you're laughing.
25:23Oh yeah.
25:24That's you.
25:25You want something to laugh at?
25:26Tonight, our age from off to close.
25:30Calica.
25:30Right.
25:31Playing for a short night.
25:33Aye, aye, captain.
25:34Bye.
25:34Good night, Academy.
25:35Bye.
25:42Retinal biometrics and trace DNA confirmed.
25:45Welcome, Commander Kellrich.
25:47Your security's pretty serious.
25:49Well, we tried funny security, but no one felt safe.
25:52T?
25:53Computer, resume leisure protocol.
25:59It's critical to use the proper tools.
26:02Fresh, dried leaves, water, heated to 86.4 degrees Celsius.
26:11If one step is handled carelessly, the result is...
26:20A weak cup.
26:27Cheers.
26:28You don't choose.
26:30Oh, if you muster, place the spoon at 12 o'clock, then softly fold the liquid back and forth 12
26:37times to 6 o'clock.
26:3912...
26:40To 6.
26:41Your kids accessed our security to get that footage, which was only possible with an instructor's help.
26:47Is that an accusation?
26:48A fact.
26:48I analyzed all the metadata.
26:50You aided and abetted the humiliation of my cadets.
26:53We learn more from our failures than our successes, and someone has to teach your cadets that life and war
26:59will come at them from all sides.
27:00Some of them came here in cargo holds.
27:02They don't need a reminder that life isn't fair.
27:05Apparently they do.
27:08Put yourself in their shoes for a sec.
27:12The aorta.
27:14Empathy.
27:15These kids have no reason to believe in anybody.
27:18I want them to believe in me.
27:19I need them to believe in you.
27:22Yeah.
27:23Surprise.
27:24I got no problem with kids being kids, but you're putting your thumb on the scale that defeats both our
27:28purposes.
27:29Our cadets need to know that our campus is a level playing field.
27:33I'd call you naive, but you've got 300 years on me.
27:36They're 52.
27:39This is only going to get worse.
27:41Do you really want to risk shenanigans when the Oversight Committee gets here?
27:45I'm giving you a chance to end it.
27:47Chancellor, my cadets and I will continue to outflank, outmaneuver, and outplay yours.
27:52And then you can decide how that E-word is working out for you.
27:55Oh, yeah?
28:02Well, my 12 to 6 is your 6 to 12.
28:06So think about that.
28:10What?
28:11Based on the measurable differences in our capabilities, we have a 2.7% chance.
28:15See? See?
28:16Exactly.
28:16See?
28:17This is our chance to prove ourselves.
28:18No, no, no.
28:18This is your chance to prove yourselves.
28:21Okay?
28:21I was about to say, lucky we have you, my right-handed, rule-breaking note.
28:24I'm not your anything.
28:27Apparently, that's...
28:28Premature.
28:29Premature.
28:30And why did you have to say it was our atrium?
28:31I can't afford any more service hours if I want to get into Starfleet this century.
28:36You were so ready to throw down when we first met.
28:38Are you really going to let these idiots get away with this?
28:43Now, who's with me?
28:46Am I really the only one that believes they need their asses handed to them?
28:49Hmm?
28:50I'm with you!
28:52Every calculation says that they'll keep terrorizing us if we don't rally.
28:58Caleb, you're an idiot.
28:59That's a yes.
29:01Genesis.
29:03You know what kind of captain sends his team into a slaughter?
29:07When I got the red coin dirty.
29:11Hey, I win at all costs.
29:14I said that out loud.
29:16What did you expect?
29:17I expected you to not use my family shit against me.
29:20Good luck.
29:22Captain.
29:33I'll make off.
29:34Bye.
29:35Detective Gats, please exit immediately.
29:37Really?
29:38The atrium is closed for cleaning.
29:44Since we don't have access to an actual calic field, this will have to do.
29:47We've divided the atrium in half.
29:48Your side and ours.
29:50Mascots on the risers.
29:52Caleb, you ready?
29:53Yep.
29:55This will fill the Insomniac and Nocturnal Cadets, but once the sun's up, so go with the jig.
30:00Okay.
30:01First of four points.
30:02Deal!
30:03And it's open season on the mascots if they leave the target zone.
30:05Targets will materialize when any player gets within five feet of the target zone.
30:10Your bleachers have been designated the casualty box.
30:13The Calica computer will monitor our gameplay.
30:14Less stalking, more humiliation.
30:17Granted.
30:23You need to be careful what you wish for.
30:28Okay.
30:29You will focus on defense.
30:31Protect.
30:32I'm late.
30:34That's what it looks like.
30:36I'm a lab link.
30:37Oh, yeah.
30:38Man, I've seen tougher tardigrades.
30:41Okay, okay.
30:41The offensive plan is me.
30:44Just you?
30:47And what happens when that player goes to shit?
30:49Gonna stay away, huh?
30:51Yeah, teamwork makes the dream work.
30:54Anyway, as I was saying, the offensive plan is just me.
30:58They'll be expecting a full-on offensive assault.
31:01Let's surprise them.
31:02Have faith in your captain.
31:04You ready?
31:05No.
31:06Bring it in.
31:06Come on.
31:10Players, take your position.
31:16Map-up to the target zone.
31:19Bring it, Mugacho.
31:20Why don't you blow my horn, love, please?
31:21Whip it up, bro.
31:22Whip it up.
31:23Game one begins in five, four, three, two, one.
31:32Commence play.
31:36Stay back and give me cover fire.
31:38And don't let them anywhere near Arkham.
31:40Ready?
31:41Now.
31:50Go cover Arkham.
31:51Okay, okay.
31:54Let's go.
31:56Over us.
31:56Yep.
32:01Guys, guys, guys, over there.
32:03Really tall handsome dude on the move.
32:05Genesis.
32:06Genesis.
32:08Take him out, take him off.
32:10What is wrong with you?
32:12Behind you, behind you, behind you.
32:14Hey, princess.
32:19No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
32:20Somebody help.
32:21Somebody help.
32:22Oh, my God.
32:23First point to the war college.
32:26Game two begins now.
32:31I can't tear him.
32:36I can't tear him.
32:37Go, go, go, go, go.
32:38Shoot them all.
32:39Talk them all.
32:40Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb.
32:42That's what I'm talking about, Caleb.
32:53War college leads.
32:55Two games to zero.
32:56Game three begins now.
32:59Shoot them, Sam.
32:59Shoot them.
33:03Caleb, over there.
33:04I just checked the day.
33:05He's on your left.
33:09Guys, are we even trying?
33:13No, guys, why?
33:14Three zero.
33:16War college.
33:17Well played.
33:18Match point.
33:19Time out.
33:20One minute time out called by Starfleet Academy.
33:22What's our next play?
33:24I don't know.
33:25Hey, what are you doing?
33:26What are you doing?
33:28Pull a strategy out of your ass or stand down.
33:30Sorry, are you the captain?
33:31Are you?
33:32No, I didn't think so.
33:33Come on.
33:33Come on.
33:34Come on.
33:35Resume play.
33:53I like this game.
33:55Foul.
33:55Prohibited striking.
33:57Cadet Raimi will set out the point.
34:00You okay?
34:02If we can't out-muscle them, we outsmart them.
34:05Hey!
34:06Get physical.
34:07Get after them.
34:09Okay, we need a real plan.
34:11What are you thinking?
34:18Genesis, come on!
34:19What are you doing?
34:21I told you what to do.
34:22Come on!
34:23No.
34:24I have a different strategy.
34:25Just wait for my signal, okay?
34:27Sam, I'm going to need you to do something for us.
34:29Okay.
34:30Players, resume positions.
34:35Play will continue in three, two, one.
34:41What are you doing?
34:41The replicators moved by!
34:47That's not the plan.
34:48What are you doing?
34:49Using our training.
34:51They can't hit what they can't see.
34:54The smoke's too thick.
34:55Hold your positions.
34:57So much smoke.
34:58I can't see.
34:58I can't see.
34:59Shoot the mascot.
35:01They're shooting at me.
35:02They're shooting.
35:03Malcolm, come on.
35:04What are you doing, mate?
35:05Just kidding.
35:06I'm not a mascot.
35:07I'm for Sam.
35:08Sam.
35:11I can make myself permeable, bitches.
35:14Hey, that's cheating.
35:15Nothing in the rule book about it.
35:24No.
35:25No, no, no.
35:26No, guys.
35:27Guys.
35:28Boom.
35:29Three, one.
35:30That's how you do that.
35:31Oh, first point for Star 3 to battle.
35:35That's a special.
35:36I look for you, my three little friends.
35:38I'm all up in you, baby.
35:41He used our own shots to locate us in the smoke.
35:44Smart.
35:50They found a strategy that works.
35:53Replacing you.
35:58Get down.
36:02We did that.
36:04Well, we can't pull that off a second time, but at least it's not a shutout.
36:13Wait, you're leaving?
36:15You're back, Captain.
36:16Then I am.
36:18It's ain't yours.
36:19What in the sweet name of Cornish is this?
36:26Why is this always on my watch?
36:28You will pay.
36:30You will pay with blood, sweat, and shame.
36:33Why are none of you crying?
36:36I'll cry.
36:36Quiet!
36:37To your chances.
36:38Now!
36:41I got a lot of paperwork to get through.
36:52None of you have been paying attention.
36:54For the record, I've actually been paying attention.
36:55For the very last time, patience and empathy, they are not concessions.
37:00These are stra...
37:04Hello?
37:05Hi.
37:06Patience and empathy.
37:09These are strategies.
37:11Tools.
37:13What?
37:15Mirror.
37:16Are your pajamas covered in little accordions?
37:18They are tiny war cores.
37:19You want to say something cute about them?
37:20Huh?
37:21Do ya?
37:21Do ya?
37:22You want to end this war once and for all?
37:24Show some growth.
37:26Growth!
37:29Is anybody whistling, whistling, whistling?
37:32There will be no more after-hours shenaniganizing.
37:35I'm putting the campus under lock and key with biometric security.
37:38I'm sure Chancellor Kellering is.
37:40Teal of an eyeball.
37:45Would be flattered.
37:48Disciplinary menial labor assignments will be posted tomorrow.
37:5130 hours a person.
37:5230 hours.
37:53According to item 48.9 being the rulebook 7-0.
37:5635.
37:57Any other takers?
38:00Dismissed.
38:02Out!
38:04She must be pissed if she's breaking the rules.
38:06Yeah, maybe we should have just listened to what she said and stuck botany.
38:10Quiet.
38:12Quietly now.
38:13Quietly now.
38:14Quiet.
38:15Quietly now.
38:16Shh, shh, shh.
38:17It's okay.
38:18It's okay.
38:19Almost there.
38:20Almost there.
38:29I think the Chancellor was trying to tell us something.
38:32I know she just said patience and empathy.
38:36But she also said end the war once and for all.
38:40We're going to prank the war college.
38:41Yeah.
38:42We're going to prank the war college so hard, they'll write songs about it.
38:46What?
38:47Now?
38:47Yes, now.
38:49If I'm getting busted, it's going to be worth it.
38:51We're going to take what our Chancellor taught us and wait for the right moment.
38:55Patience.
38:55And hit the war college back on their level.
38:58Empathy.
38:59Chancellor wants to see some growth?
39:01We're going to show her some growth.
39:02We're going to be doing disciplinary labor for the rest of our lives.
39:05This pad is as healthy as a newborn.
39:08What's the problem?
39:09Teething?
39:10It's not receiving incoming messages.
39:12Weird.
39:17You know what?
39:18It's fine.
39:18The problem must be on the other end.
39:20Yeah, that happens.
39:23Look, kid.
39:24Any message that you have to chase down does not deserve to be read by you.
39:30It's fine.
39:31You don't.
39:31It's not.
39:32It's fine.
39:33A teenager with parental issues.
39:35Never before in the universe.
39:37People are simple.
39:38They either show up for you or they don't.
39:41Oh, there you are, Commander.
39:43Not a good time dispensing wisdom.
39:45We were having to ducken for dinner, but now it can't exist because you forgot to prep the replicator.
39:51I'm sorry, kitten.
39:52My bad.
39:53Are you not respecting dinner?
39:55Dinner is important.
39:57We'll go out.
39:58Chinese, Navari.
40:00French.
40:01I want cocoa, but with cradaleg and rappoche sauce.
40:05I'll make a res at Yvette's.
40:07See?
40:08Everything is going to be all right.
40:12Nope.
40:13Goodbye, my love.
40:14Even more now.
40:16French, Klingon, fusion.
40:18The cuisine I never knew that I needed.
40:21I left a starship on the edge of creation to be with her.
40:25That's what you call showing up for someone.
40:27Has anyone ever done that for you?
40:29I don't know.
40:30Maybe someone who was furious with you or maybe someone you repeatedly underestimated who is also your classmate named Genesis.
40:41I didn't know.
40:42I mean, you went far away.
40:43I was worried about you.
40:45I'm sorry that I missed you.
40:46So, technically this doesn't require violence, but...
40:49The honor of my friend is bound to my own.
40:52I will join you.
40:53All right.
40:54This needs to go like clockwork.
41:04Can I, uh...
41:10Have I ever told you I used to play the Bellaclavian as a kid?
41:14It's a Bajoran...
41:15I know what it is.
41:15I know what it is.
41:17Do I care?
41:18The kids across the galaxy were starving.
41:22And I was playing fancy instruments.
41:24I played that thing until my fingers bled.
41:26My mom and dad were sitting right in the front row.
41:28And I...
41:31I missed a note.
41:34They left before I could finish the piece.
41:37That's my family.
41:39You're either the center of the universe or you're nothing.
41:42Mom and dad issues.
41:45Impressive.
41:46Yeah.
41:47I had to pay you or something.
41:50Look, I...
41:51I took advantage of you when you opened up.
41:54I'm sorry.
41:55It's a big universe.
41:57I can't expect everyone to play fair.
41:59You had the right to expect it.
42:01You learned something.
42:02He didn't mean a word of that.
42:04Shut up.
42:06Me.
42:11You lead.
42:13I follow.
42:16Okay.
42:18Uh, one thing though.
42:21Then I open the ropes.
42:24Yeah.
42:25Well, six.
42:27Current inside for multiple appendix, I.
42:29Oh, wow.
42:29Appendixes.
42:30Appendixes.
42:32Let's begin.
42:39War college dorms are secure during the day.
42:41While the cadets are in class,
42:43someone will need to disable the system so we can get in.
42:46Where are we supposed to find someone with clearance?
42:49Well, uh, yeah.
42:51It's not perfect.
42:52I replicated it from memory,
42:55and I had to guess to make Caleb's size.
42:57My size?
42:58Yeah.
43:00I'm not wearing that.
43:02You got him.
43:03Hey.
43:03This part's way too techie for anyone else to pull off.
43:07Woo!
43:09You got to!
43:16Kellrick teaches battlefield resilience every day from 1500 to 1630.
43:20That is our window.
43:21To temporarily disable the security system,
43:23you'll need to get into his office.
43:25Problem is,
43:26we need his cornea.
43:28Which is what the Chancellor was trying to tell us.
43:31Chancellor Kellrick in his heel of an eyeball.
43:33That's you, Darren.
43:34You want me to remove Kellrick's eye?
43:36Hey.
43:37So yeah,
43:38like you,
43:38I originally thought that we were removing people's eyeballs and ganglia,
43:42but it turns out Prank's heart made it drop blood.
43:45Call it.
43:46Sir.
43:47Sir?
43:50I want to apologise for the illicit game of Calica.
43:53This is Cionian tradition.
43:56You're not familiar,
43:57because you've never met a Cionian before,
43:58but we do this all the time.
44:00I offer you my deep remorse.
44:03That's quite enough.
44:04Please don't deny this culturally sensitive moment,
44:07Chancellor Kellrick.
44:17Thank you, sir.
44:22With that polymer DNA imprint,
44:24I can code the programmable biometri-gel
44:27to replicate any one of Kellrick's body parts.
44:37Retinal biometrics and trace DNA confirmed.
44:40Welcome, Commander Kellrick.
44:43So, once in,
44:44I'll override the security grid so it shuts off,
44:46but it'll only last 60 seconds.
44:48We're going to need someone fast to deliver the packages
44:51while the cadets are in class.
44:53It's girl time.
44:58And I'll deliver the gifts,
44:59and we'll be out in under a minute.
45:01Next, Santa.
45:03Oh, I almost forgot to mention,
45:04I juiced the growth accelerant,
45:06and all those plants were a little too cute for our purpose.
45:09You'll see.
45:13Once the security system comes back online,
45:16you'll need to haul ass.
45:17And make sure you don't get caught.
45:19Hi, Caleb.
45:22Where are you running off to?
45:24Caleb?
45:24Who's Caleb?
45:25And you should be in class, young lady.
45:27You should be ashamed of yourself.
45:28Just stop, okay?
45:29I can sense you through this ridiculous outfit.
45:33Can we talk?
45:36Do we have to?
45:42I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I chose the word college.
45:44I should have.
45:46I owed you that.
45:48I just...
45:50I didn't know how.
45:52You make me feel...
45:53Amazing.
45:55Exhilarated.
45:56Nuts.
45:56Out of control.
45:58I'm not like other Betazoids.
46:02Back home, I was able to manage it.
46:05Now that I have the freedom to go where I want,
46:08be who I want, that freedom...
46:11It cost me something.
46:13I don't think I'm getting the picture.
46:15I didn't choose the word college because of you.
46:18I chose it so I can finally learn the discipline of being in control of myself.
46:23Okay, this place, it's who I am.
46:26It's who I have to be.
46:27Oh, come on.
46:29You're no more at this place than I'm in the academy.
46:32Okay, please don't fall for this us versus them shit.
46:35You're the one who's angry because I didn't choose your team.
46:39You're at the academy now and you need everyone to pick up with you
46:43because you don't have the guts to face your own choice.
46:46I didn't choose anything.
46:48It was either this or prison.
46:51Okay, and I'm not...
47:02You're fighting yourself so hard.
47:06You're convincing yourself not to care about this place.
47:10These people.
47:12I could feel you during the game, Caleb.
47:15I can feel it now.
47:17This is the first time you've felt part of a group.
47:20And you like it.
47:26You're afraid they'll let you down.
47:29Control.
47:33It's...
47:36Overrated.
47:44I win.
47:48This is an overrated.
47:49That's for sure.
47:52Hey!
47:53Hey!
47:55Mr. McGonchell, over here, come on.
47:58Come on.
48:02No running in the hallways.
48:06No running in the hallways.
48:08Come on, come on, come on, come on.
48:11I thought you might need to be rescued.
48:13Genius has left their transports and module in our changing room.
48:16Not bad.
48:17How do you find her?
48:18Because I'm an all-seeing genius.
48:20Chancellor assigned me laboratory duty.
48:22Damn it, she's gone.
48:23No running in the stairwell.
48:25Then all we have to do is wait until sunrise.
48:29And...
48:50I'm going to kill whoever it is.
48:54I am going to literally rip them to shreds.
48:57Come on, I'm going to kill whoever it is.
48:59I am going to kill whoever it is.
49:02Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
49:07I saw it!
49:09What the hell is going on with the green table?
49:14What are these times?
49:16What are these times?
49:16What are these times?
49:18What are these times?
49:22Wow!
49:24Wow!
49:28Good morning!
49:30Is the War College doing primal scream therapy now?
49:33We are going to rip those weeds out and shut them so far down your throat you're going to shit
49:37crawl, Phil.
49:37You will not fall in.
49:43The Vitus reflux is a protected species under Starfleet Regulation 286.3.
49:50286.4, actually.
49:54Unless I'm mistaken, it says disturbing the plant before it reaches adulthood is a crime.
50:01Maturation takes longer if those plants sense any stress, so keep calm if you can.
50:09Oh, and it helps to talk to them with patience and empathy.
50:18Oh, Oversight Committee has arrived, Chancellor.
50:23They'll be inspecting dorm rooms, too, so you might want to try and, you know, tidy up, shall we?
50:32I yield.
50:33The victory is yours.
50:36I commend your cadets for their efforts.
50:39And I yours.
50:43They learn from the best.
50:46The best.
50:48The best.
50:49The best.
50:55Later, guys.
50:57The bug.
51:02It was you, wasn't it?
51:04You were one of the cadets who transported the first years to the roof all those years ago.
51:07What was that word you used?
51:10Legendary?
51:12You've been dropping hints since the War College first hit us.
51:15Empathy plants.
51:16Kelrick's eyeball.
51:17You even said, show me some growth.
51:18I know.
51:19And then you made us think it was our idea.
51:21Why didn't you just tell us?
51:22And let you cheat?
51:23Like Kelrick?
51:24Have the fun with seeing if you'd all actually do it.
51:26And you did.
51:28You executed it with exceptional brilliance.
51:31And grace.
51:33Sort of.
51:35Why does everything have to be a full-on lesson in this place?
51:37Because it's a school, Caleb.
51:41And it's how we were taught.
51:44The War College teaches its cadets to fight battles.
51:48I'm teaching you to end wars.
51:50To learn the patience to formulate a true strategy.
51:53And the empathy to understand your opponents so you can disarm them.
51:58And that's what Starfleet needs to be again.
52:02And leading through fear alone makes that impossible.
52:12So like, what would you say to someone who just keeps choosing fear?
52:22I literally am asking for a friend.
52:29It isn't on you to control anyone but yourself.
52:34Hard lesson.
52:36But not all opponents are enemies.
52:39And the more you play, the more they help you live up to your potential.
52:44Maybe you could do that for your friend.
52:46Maybe.
52:49We'll see.
53:24Did you have this all gamed when I first came?
53:27And it's your office.
53:28Not really.
53:30But when you double down on the plan analogies, it all came together.
53:35I want to thank you.
53:36But I figure you'd need plausible deniability
53:40if the Oversight Committee ever found out the new chancellor had shenan.
53:50I appreciate it.
53:54I knew you were doing your job.
53:58And you were doing yours.
54:01I'll admit I couldn't see that.
54:02I should have trusted it.
54:05I'm going to meditate on trust.
54:07What do you usually meditate on?
54:10Decapitation.
54:15Dear mother and father,
54:18academy training remains rigorous as expected.
54:22What I hadn't anticipated and am coming to appreciate
54:26are the lessons in leadership
54:27that I couldn't have received anywhere else.
54:30I think that one's mine.
54:35Bye, Captain.
54:37It's fascinating, really,
54:38to be a part of a community
54:40where excellence is prized and rewarded,
54:43but not to the detriment of its individual members.
54:46One can lead
54:48and be led
54:49with empathy,
54:51patience,
54:52not just for others,
54:53but for oneself as well.
54:56I haven't.
54:56I never knew such a thing was possible.
55:05Perhaps this is what friendship
55:07and family
55:08are meant to be.
55:11Perhaps this is who I am meant to be.
55:27Heads up!
55:32Welcome to the team.
55:55It's perfect.
55:59Check this guy out.
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