- 6 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:16we are finally married my missus feels like a dream I know nothing feels um
00:28wrong or anything no no everything is perfect
00:38uh you should maybe shower first oh are you joining you're funny
00:53hey Elaine this is not what I agreed to
00:56you said I would never have to even meet him and now not only am I married to the
01:01Miles Kipling but I have to live with him
01:08look who it is our Hugh Dr. Herney's finally back to Africa
01:14doctors without borders must been a blast I bet you did miss metal lane my snarky
01:19sunshine I missed you so much oh you should have facetimed me more of my
01:23idiot sunflower I heard about your engagement congratulations oh about
01:31that kind of have a favor to ask you you the richest woman in LA have a favor to
01:38ask me well and only you can help me you owe me one no questions asked remember all
01:45right spit it out I'll be your very good mother what you want me to marry your fiance in your
01:53place you want me to marry your fiance in your place do you know what you're asking me this is
02:03your fiance well just pretend to be me for a month and I'll be right back I promise pretty sure
02:08your fiance will figure it out it's an arranged marriage we've only met once and everybody's been saying that we
02:14look alike so just
02:15register the marriage and pretend to be hard just for the registration all right all
02:28right I'll do you this favor no questions asked just like a sunflower would never
02:36turn it's back to the sunshine the sunshine will always shine on her flower
03:15it's him
03:23how is this possible
03:25you
03:28you
03:31you
03:44will you marry me
03:54not only am I married to the miles kipling but I have to live with him not a big deal
03:59no okay I'll be back in a month miles he had accident years ago he can't really tell
04:05people's faces apart so it should be easy to convince him so that's
04:13why
04:32he's the only one donating and volunteering around here unlike some rich jerks he actually cares
04:47he doesn't remember me that's why he asked me to marry him anyway um bigger wife don't do anything suspicious
04:57or you know do what you need to I know I know I write this bestie code I will not
05:05lay a hand on your man I mean that's not really what I
05:09what I'm trying to say
05:10I'm trying to say
05:10oh I gotta go he's back
05:11hey Clara hold on
05:14oh
05:14oh
05:14I'm trying to say
05:15oh
05:16oh
05:22are you planning on surprising me my missis
05:27you know I've been waiting for this for a very long time
05:36I've been waiting for this
05:37For a very long time
05:41No, I can't
05:43You can't?
05:45Why?
05:47Um
05:49I just started my period
05:52My cramps hurt really bad
05:55I just swore to Elaine
05:57I can't break my promise
05:59Oh, my cramps, I'm in so much pain
06:02I gotta go, I'm sorry
06:04No, no, no, you stay here, okay
06:05Get some rest
06:07I'll get you some medicine
06:16Okay
06:17I have done my research
06:19And this is the best medication
06:21For menstrual cramps
06:25I can't take painkillers
06:27Can't take
06:27Are you allergic?
06:30Or are you faking those cramps?
06:35Why would I lie about something like that?
06:40Elaine isn't allergic
06:41But I am
06:42I have to spit it out later
06:44When he's not looking
07:04Oh, and, um, hey
07:17Don't worry about it, okay?
07:20We'll try again
07:21We'll try again
07:21When you feel better
07:25Could you get me some
07:26Honey, lemon, water?
07:29I drink some before bed every night
07:31Of course
07:33Honey and lemon water
07:34Yeah, sure
07:37Thanks
07:43I don't know
07:45Well, I know
07:48Oh, I know
08:02I know
08:04Oh, I know
08:05I know
08:06I know
08:07I know
08:10Smart of me to turn on the bathtub to cover the noise.
08:15Okay, I don't think he heard anything.
08:29Hey.
08:30Hi.
08:31What's got you so nervous?
08:35Oh, I see.
08:38You're running a bath for us.
08:40How sweet of you.
08:42Uh, no.
08:43No.
08:44No, um.
08:46Then why did you run a bath?
08:50It's for you.
08:52I already showered.
08:54Well, then perfect.
08:55You're clean for your bath.
08:59Okay, listen.
09:01I won't play any more games with you, okay?
09:03Let's just go to bed.
09:06Okay.
09:06Okay.
09:08Let's go to bed.
09:09Whoa!
09:15Damn.
09:17His body.
09:21Sorry.
09:22I'm so sorry.
09:23I'm so sorry.
09:28I'm so sorry.
09:46You can touch anywhere you want, my missus.
09:58You can touch anywhere you want, my missus.
10:02Oh.
10:04Hey, wait.
10:09Don't want to catch a cold.
10:39I'll get that for you, my missus.
10:42Calm down, Clara.
10:43He's Elaine's husband.
10:45Wait.
10:46Did he just say he was going to pick up my phone?
10:56Hello?
10:57Hello, Miss Clara.
10:58The motion being ordered has arrived.
11:00What do you prefer delivery or?
11:02Miss Clara?
11:10Clara?
11:13Did you change your name?
11:17Um, actually, I think you have the wrong number, ma'am.
11:20This is Elaine's phone.
11:22Oh, um, I did get it wrong.
11:24I tried calling Ms. O'Reilly, please, please.
11:28See?
11:29She got it wrong.
11:31Luckily, I thought about this in advance and warned the sales clerk.
11:36I almost ruined Elaine's marriage.
11:55Jessie, what do you want?
11:57Malzy!
11:58Good news.
12:00I just got back from England.
12:01Did you miss me?
12:03Jessie.
12:05I'm married, okay?
12:06Know your boundaries.
12:08Jessie.
12:10One more thing.
12:11There is this crazy bitch named Jessie.
12:14She's been after my fiancé and just won't take no for an answer.
12:18She even threatened to kill me once.
12:20So you should be careful.
12:22I don't want her to ruin the arrangement for us.
12:32Babe!
12:33I, um, just got out of the shower.
12:37I was talking on the phone.
12:39Shh.
12:41How would you like to start?
12:43Shh.
12:47I was talking on the phone.
12:50Shh.
12:52How would you like to start?
12:54Hot make-out sesh?
12:57Or maybe you want to kiss my neck.
13:19She was easy to scare off.
13:21Boring.
13:22Hey.
13:23Miles.
13:24I thought you wanted to get down to business.
13:27I...
13:36That woman is not the one from the engagement party.
13:57That's what I'm talking about.
14:04Oh, Jessie, hi.
14:06Grandma Joyce.
14:07Jessie, I miss you.
14:08Yeah, I miss you too.
14:10And I miss Milesy.
14:13Of course.
14:14Can we all get together for dinner sometime?
14:16Can Miles bring his wife?
14:17Yeah, yeah.
14:18He can bring his wife.
14:19Sounds like a plan.
14:20Hey.
14:21I love you.
14:22Love you too.
14:23Bye.
14:23Bye.
14:28I thought you wanted to get down to business.
14:31I...
14:31I was just saying that to make Jessie mad.
14:36My period.
14:37You know?
14:40Yeah.
14:40Yeah, I know.
14:43I did like how you got jealous.
14:47Don't worry.
14:48We'll, uh...
14:50We'll have some fun when you feel better.
14:52Okay.
14:55Wait, I want to cuddle you.
15:00How am I going to sleep like this?
15:12Steve!
15:13Steve!
15:14Steve!
15:14Steve!
15:16Steve!
15:16Steve!
15:16Steve!
15:17Steve!
15:18Steve!
15:19Steve!
15:19Steve!
15:20Steve!
15:20No one will ever watch you.
15:22No, it wasn't me.
15:23I didn't steal.
15:24I'll bet she's still when she's older too.
15:26Let's punish her!
15:26Punish her!
15:27Yeah!
15:28Yeah!
15:28Yeah!
15:28Yeah!
15:29Yeah!
15:30Stop!
15:30Go away.
15:31Go away.
15:33It's okay, Clara.
15:34They're gone now.
15:36Do you believe me?
15:37Of course I do.
15:38Lane, I swear, I'll never turn my back on you.
15:41Like how Sunflower will never turn away from the sunshine.
15:44Forever.
15:44Forever and ever.
15:46Forever and ever.
15:50Elaine!
15:52Elaine!
15:54Elaine!
15:59Elaine!
16:00Elaine, I'll never steal you.
16:02Elaine!
16:10I don't know.
16:49Hey, Clara.
16:50When are you going to be back?
16:51I can't do this for much longer.
16:53He's just too hot to resist.
16:56And not only that, he's been my crush for so long.
16:58Do you like him?
17:01Yeah, he's fine.
17:02Well, good thing I don't like him at all, so go for it.
17:05Dr. Hardy, your patient's here.
17:07I gotta go.
17:10Your surgical wound is healing nicely.
17:13Just continue to rest and you'll be fine.
17:15Okay.
17:16All right.
17:17Well, Doc, can we have sex anytime soon?
17:21You can't just ask that.
17:22That's embarrassing.
17:24What's the big deal?
17:24I'm your wife and I care about that.
17:26Yeah, but can't you ask in, like, a more polite way?
17:28All right.
17:30Dr. Hardy, when can we have sexual intercourse or make love or become one?
17:39I'm sorry to say, but not just yet.
17:43I see.
17:44I can't believe you.
17:50That's a great excuse.
18:01Hey.
18:04Oh, careful.
18:05I pulled my surgical wound today and the doctors had it fix me and told me to rest,
18:10so it's still a no-go.
18:12You had surgery?
18:14Yeah.
18:17About two weeks ago.
18:26Where did you get your report?
18:28This looks super legit.
18:30What are you insinuating?
18:32That is a real doctor's report.
18:34Why do you keep thinking I'm lying?
18:36This is a report for your surgery.
18:38Hmm?
18:39You sure about it?
18:40Mm-hmm.
18:44When exactly did you grow a prostate?
18:53When exactly did you grow a prostate?
18:56Shit.
18:57I packed the wrong report.
18:58I can't wait to hear how you're going to explain this.
19:02I did have surgery, okay?
19:05I had an appendectomy.
19:06If you say so.
19:08Let me see the wound.
19:10What?
19:11It's probably...
19:11Hey!
19:12You're going to pull the wound again.
19:15Let me see it.
19:18Let me see it.
19:37See, I told you I wasn't lying.
19:40I'm...
19:41I'm sorry.
19:44I must have just gotten the reports mixed up.
19:47You sure it's not like a sticker or a tattoo or something?
19:51I got the sticker from a friend in the plastic surgery department.
19:54It cost me $100, for God's sake.
19:59I'm your wife.
20:01And I love you.
20:02But it hurts that you don't believe me.
20:18Time to wake up, my missus.
20:26Hey.
20:27Miles, we can't be intimate right now.
20:30The doctor said that...
20:31No, no, no, no.
20:32It's not about that.
20:34No, I, um...
20:35I wanted to wake you up and get ready
20:37because my grandma invited us to go celebrate Jesse's return from England.
20:42So, we're going to lunch.
20:44What?
20:45Lunch with Grandma and Jesse?
20:52Miles, you stayed this arranged marriage with Elaine.
20:55Now he's changed all of a sudden.
20:58It's weird, Grandma.
21:00Well, Jesse, it happens.
21:03My husband and I were arranged, too.
21:06And once we married, we fell in love.
21:09This is different.
21:11It's a scheme.
21:13I'll show you when they get here.
21:15They're proof.
21:16You've got to stop watching the soap operas.
21:37You don't have to be nervous.
21:39My grandma's nice.
21:42Elaine says they've never met.
21:44It should be fine.
21:53I'm not joking.
21:55I have proof.
21:59Oh, what were you proving?
22:02Hi, Grandma.
22:04This is Elaine, my wife.
22:07Elaine?
22:08Grandma Joyce.
22:09Joyce, I'm so happy to meet you.
22:11Oh, so lovely to meet you, too.
22:15Let's have lunch.
22:25This is my seat.
22:31I'm sorry, I thought this was a family gathering.
22:34Why is a stranger here?
22:37My family has been friends with the Kiplings for decades.
22:40How dare you call me a stranger?
22:43How dare you call me a stranger?
22:44And how dare you sit beside Milesy when you're not even Elaine Kipling?
22:53How dare you sit beside Miles when you're not even Elaine Kipling?
23:09I'll show you the proof.
23:13I'll show you the proof.
23:13Here is a picture from the engagement party.
23:16Elaine Priestley doesn't have a birthmark on her neck.
23:21And she does.
23:25Birthmark?
23:25What birthmark?
23:26Elaine made sure no photos from the engagement party were left behind.
23:30I bet she snatched it.
23:32Who are you?
23:33Why are you pretending to be Elaine Priestley and marry my Milesy?
23:38Well, can I have a look?
23:42Sure.
23:43But it's not a birthmark.
23:45It's actually a new tattoo that I got.
23:56She's lying!
23:57I can clearly tell the difference between a birthmark and a tattoo!
24:01Stop messing with my wife, Jessie.
24:04But I...
24:05No, no buts.
24:06If you do this again, I'll have to ask you to leave.
24:10Alright.
24:12She says it's a tattoo.
24:15Then it's a tattoo.
24:18Why aren't you sleeping together then?
24:22That's on, right?
24:25Clearly, she's hiding something.
24:27Wait, what's going on?
24:28Are the two of you not in love?
24:30Because if you're not, you could get a divorce.
24:34This is all just so ridiculous.
24:37Miles and I actually can't keep our hands to ourselves.
24:40We do it, like, every day.
24:41Oh, you okay?
24:46I'm fine.
24:51Impossible.
24:52I asked your housekeeper.
24:54They said you weren't intimate at all.
24:58Well, what could the housekeepers know?
25:01Nothing, because Miles sends them away so that we can have some privacy.
25:08She's just making up stories again.
25:10Tell me the truth, Miles.
25:12You've never lied to me.
25:16Grandma, we are...
25:17We're perfectly fine.
25:19See?
25:19There's nothing to be worried about.
25:23You're covering for her.
25:25Why?
25:27What?
25:28Do you want to watch us do it?
25:29Just to be sure?
25:32He's covering up to save the marriage.
25:34He must really like Elaine.
25:37Enough of this nonsense.
25:39Let's have lunch in peace.
25:46I don't mind her.
25:48She's been a friend of the family for so long.
25:51We've definitely smelled her too much.
25:58My Ayurveda practitioner recommended this liquor.
26:02He said it's good for young people's health.
26:05You know what I mean.
26:10Um, I don't think that'll be necessary, Grandma.
26:14Sounds a little anti-science, Joyce.
26:17Miles, if it's true what Elaine said, I think you need this.
26:22Dr. Gupta says it supplements the soul's energy and heats up the blood.
26:28Are you sure it's not just purely an ephrodisiac?
26:32I'm not really struggling in the energy department, Grandma.
26:36In fact, um, I'm in more need of demand than supply.
26:44What?
26:45What do you mean?
26:46Was Elaine lying?
26:51I just can't live once, you know.
26:57Cheers to a wonderful night.
27:05Ah, great.
27:07This is going to be a wonderful night.
27:12Okay.
27:14Let's get you to bed.
27:16Okay.
27:17Let's get you nice and cozy.
27:19Yeah.
27:23Have a good night.
27:24Miles.
27:27Miles.
27:28I've liked you for a long time.
27:30I know.
27:32Get some rest, okay?
27:35We don't go.
27:36I want a hug.
27:43I really should be going.
27:49You smell so good.
27:55I should be going before this gets messy.
28:13What is this?
28:16Miles, I...
28:17What is this?
28:17I can explain.
28:18What is this?
28:19Miles, just...
28:20You lied to me, didn't you?
28:24I hate when people lie to me.
28:27You know what?
28:27You drive me crazy.
Comments