- 7 weeks ago
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00:00What have we got behind us here, Luke?
00:02What have we got?
00:03What haven't we got, probably?
00:05So, what are these for...?
00:06Premier League nightly wins.
00:08Is that from this year?
00:09Probably this year or last year.
00:11Yeah. How many did you get? Five this year?
00:13Four, yeah. Five.
00:15And you get a nice bonus as well, don't you, for winning the night?
00:17We can all do the maths, Luke, what's that?
00:19Five times, whoa, you're doing all right.
00:21Nice, some nice family photos.
00:24But you can do all this, you can't pass your driving theory.
00:30Oh!
00:32This is what we've tuned in for.
00:34Mini, look at this.
00:36Oh!
00:37Wow!
00:38It's pretty racy telly, isn't it?
00:40Oh!
00:41What?
00:42Oh, no!
00:43Oh, this is awful.
00:44I'm crying.
00:46Oh!
00:47Oh, I'm happy.
00:49Yeah.
00:50That makes me happy.
00:51This is a bit of you.
00:52My people.
00:53Fish bumpies!
00:54We've all got an undercarriage.
00:56Grow up!
00:58In the summer of 2025, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:05Singletons were full of hope as they looked for love abroad on Discovery Plus.
01:10People probably say I'm a people pleaser.
01:12I like to say yes, not no.
01:14And I have like a resting happy face.
01:16A resting happy face?
01:18I think that would annoy me quite quick.
01:19It's almost like this.
01:21Yeah, you're one of those people that frown upon people's happiness.
01:25What?
01:26Oh, what?
01:27You are.
01:28Like, that's such an amazing trait to have.
01:30And you're like, oh, you'd dump someone because they're too happy.
01:34Too happy!
01:35The hardest working man in pop was on his travels on ITV.
01:40I'm Gary Barlow from Take That.
01:43There's a big audience out there and we're ready.
01:46And we're on a huge world tour.
01:48I saw Jason Orange every day and I've got to tell you this the truth.
01:51No one sees him and everyone's looking for him on Reddit.
01:53This is true.
01:54And he did like a traitors.
01:55When he recognised...
01:56When he realised I'd recognised him, I was in Muswell Hill.
01:59This is God's honest truth.
02:00I was like, that's Jason Orange.
02:01And he went like this.
02:02What, he hid?
02:03He hid and sort of smiled and scurried off.
02:05And then I Googled it and no one knows where he is.
02:08What did you Google?
02:11Where's Jason Orange?
02:12Jason Orange, what's he been up to?
02:14Does he live in Muswell Hill?
02:15And the bed-hopping began on ITV too.
02:19Is everyone happy now in their new couples?
02:22I don't even feel like I need to say it to you much, like.
02:26I am glad though that I'm not in the dating game anymore.
02:30And to be clear, I never was.
02:32How did you meet your missus?
02:33Well, I did the classic move of working with her for a year.
02:37Oh, okay.
02:38Player!
02:39He got game!
02:45In Essex.
02:46They're lovely crisps then.
02:47Mmm, I like them.
02:48Kettle chips?
02:49Oh, they were the kettle ones.
02:50They're nice.
02:51They cook them in a kettle.
02:52Rylan and his mum, Linda.
02:53So you know like your kettle?
02:54Yeah.
02:55For example, you could slice up potato.
02:56Right, this ain't a wind up.
02:57I'm telling you now, Mum.
02:58You slice, that's why they're called kettle chips.
02:59Oh, I'm going to try then.
03:00You slice up potato, put it in.
03:01Yeah.
03:02And the salt got you winding me up, didn't you?
03:03Oh, is that your bear's arms?
03:04Sorry.
03:05Look.
03:06Do you know what?
03:07No, it's only when you said I'm going to try it, I thought you'd better not.
03:09You'd burn the ass down.
03:10In June, it was time to find out how clever some famous faces were on ITV.
03:15I'm actually getting a little bit hot now, thinking about the fact we're going to have to try and answer this question, and I think you're going to get it, and I'm not, because the 1% cup is not my comfort zone.
03:40How would you say your general knowledge is?
03:42Ooh, not good.
03:43No.
03:44I'll be honest, that was the answer I expected.
03:45Yeah.
03:46And you got the right answer.
03:47You just have no general knowledge, because you don't watch the news.
03:51I do watch the news.
03:52Do you?
03:53Yeah.
03:54I always swipe to the little side, like, thing on my phone.
03:57I don't mean the news on your phone, I mean on the TV.
03:59Yeah, I watch you.
04:00Do you?
04:01When Mum puts it on.
04:02Tonight, our contestants are all professional footballers and celebrities who support Soccer Aid.
04:07Why haven't they asked me to play in Soccer Aid?
04:10Oh, I hate it when they do celebrity versions of stuff.
04:14It's never as good as just the normal ones.
04:18I normally do quite alright on this.
04:24You're good at any quiz, you are.
04:26It's time for our first question.
04:29Right, get ready.
04:30Lock in.
04:31Lock in.
04:3290%, this is always easy.
04:33This is like, what day is it?
04:35Which of the following three pieces doesn't correctly match the image?
04:40Ooh, I like Jill Scott.
04:41I do.
04:45Easily, the ear.
04:46Earring B.
04:47Yeah, earring B.
04:48Wait, the eye?
04:49No, it's not the eye.
04:50No, the earring.
04:51What, doesn't match?
04:52Doesn't match.
04:53No, I think there's an extra wrinkle there and there shouldn't be.
04:57But then it...
04:58No, because of her mouth.
04:59Oh my God.
05:00I think her eye is okay.
05:01The mouth isn't.
05:02I think it's the eyebrow.
05:03No, it's B.
05:04It's A.
05:05It's B.
05:06Nobody should get this wrong.
05:10We can't be out for this one.
05:11See, that's the thing as well.
05:12They always make it easy for celebrities because they're all thick.
05:16Yeah.
05:17I've even forgot what we did.
05:19Yeah.
05:20We was naming what we did.
05:21See, did we do?
05:22Yeah, yeah.
05:23One out?
05:24One out?
05:25Right, we lost one of you.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:29He's a referee.
05:30Is he?
05:31Yeah.
05:32See what they say about referees, boy?
05:33You don't know what you're doing!
05:35LAUGHTER
05:36He's the ref that's always on Sky, stands by the wrong decisions.
05:40So I'm glad he's out.
05:41It's B because the earring is different on Jill's ear.
05:44Woo!
05:45We got it right, B.
05:46Yes, indeed.
05:4790% of the country got that right.
05:49And you and the ref got it wrong.
05:52Let's move on to the 35% question.
05:54Oh, 35, mate.
05:55Oh, no.
05:56Get on your game.
05:57This is going to be hard.
05:58Ooh, trickier.
05:59Ooh.
06:00Which Premier League football team is this rhyming code for?
06:03Nest Jam.
06:05Nest Jam.
06:06It's not West Ham, is it?
06:08Ah!
06:09He's on it!
06:10He's on it!
06:11It's West Ham!
06:12West Ham.
06:13Why is it West Ham?
06:14Nest Jam.
06:15Bird's Nest Jam Jam.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Bird's Nest Jam Jam Jam.
06:21Come on.
06:22Tottenham.
06:23Nest Pot.
06:24Tottenham.
06:25Tottenham.
06:26It's a rhyming.
06:27Yes, bro.
06:28Tottenham.
06:29Premier League football, West Ham.
06:32Nest.
06:33West Ham, Liverpool.
06:34I don't know all the teams.
06:35Arsenal.
06:36Uh, Brentford.
06:37Nest Jam.
06:38Nest Jam.
06:39Nest Jam.
06:40No, don't say Nest Jam.
06:41You said Nest Jam 17 times now.
06:42It's not helping.
06:43West Ham!
06:44West Ham!
06:45What?
06:46Nest...
06:47Villa.
06:48No idea.
06:49Nest Jam.
06:50Nest Jam.
06:51Nest Jam.
06:52West Jam.
06:53West...
06:54West Ham!
06:55West Ham.
06:56West Ham rhymes with Nest Jam.
06:57I can't believe you actually got that right.
06:58That's fucking unbelievable.
06:59I'm not going to lie, that was very quick for me.
07:00I'm quite proud of that.
07:01That's it.
07:02Nest Jam!
07:03And, yeah, if you say it quick and fuck...
07:04Ooh!
07:05Ooh!
07:06Ooh!
07:07Ooh!
07:08Nest Jam!
07:09I don't know their charm.
07:10Also, yeah, you've never been to a football game.
07:13Ooh!
07:14Ooh!
07:15Ooh!
07:16West Ham!
07:17It's time for the 30% question.
07:18Come on, Perry.
07:19Head in the game.
07:2030% question.
07:21What does that even mean?
07:23Which England footballer is spelt out in this code below?
07:26Oh, no.
07:27Eh?
07:28How am I supposed to know hieroglyphics?
07:30I used to know them.
07:31I used to learn them.
07:32I used to have a hieroglyphics bookmark on papyrus.
07:38What?
07:39There's got to be Roman letters or something.
07:41Snake-eye bird wave.
07:43Whale comb eye-foot wings.
07:46What?
07:47Let me concentrate.
07:50Oh, er...
07:51It's getting fan-Kirby, I think.
07:53I think one of us has to just gamble.
07:54You have to go somewhere and I'll go somewhere.
07:56Otherwise, we're both out.
08:00Hey, Mary Earps.
08:01I'm going to go Fran Kirby.
08:03It's Fran Kirby.
08:04Because the second letter of the first name
08:06and the third letter of the last name
08:08are the same in Fran and Kirby.
08:11Makes no sense.
08:12Absolutely not.
08:13I think I'm using a pass.
08:14Definitely use my pass.
08:15Let's see who got it right.
08:17Everyone's got me out.
08:18This is going to separate the wheat from the chaff.
08:20I'll tell you that for now.
08:21Oh, and they're just ticking them off.
08:26Well, and me.
08:27No, because we used to pass.
08:28It's Fran Kirby.
08:29The only symbol that is repeated
08:31represents the second letter of the first name
08:33and the third letter of the second name.
08:35Mmm!
08:36Mmm!
08:37Ross, you need to go on there.
08:40Is that me, I'm most clever now?
08:42Oh, no.
08:43Absolutely not.
08:44You took a guess and I took a guess.
08:45Strategically, we played for each other there
08:47because we took a punt each.
08:48After whittling down the sports stars and celebrities
08:50here in the studio,
08:51we are left with the 1% question.
08:53This is it.
08:54Right, deals, come on.
08:56In the opening verse to the original version of Three Lions,
09:00what two words feature exactly three times in the lyrics?
09:04Three Lions.
09:05Mum, please don't.
09:06They've seen it all before
09:09They just know
09:11They're so sure
09:15Is it it?
09:16It!
09:17It!
09:18It!
09:19It!
09:20It!
09:21It!
09:22It!
09:23It!
09:24It!
09:25So, it and no?
09:26No.
09:27Ah!
09:28It and no.
09:29England is going to throw, blow it away, but no.
09:31So, no.
09:32Is it no?
09:33I don't know.
09:34Oh, this game's stressing me out.
09:37Three no's.
09:38It's no in it!
09:39No in it!
09:40Yeah, there's three no's.
09:41No and it.
09:42No and it.
09:43It and no.
09:45It and no.
09:46That's what I said.
09:47I said no, did I?
09:49Yeah, you said no.
09:50No and it!
09:52Yeah!
09:53Ha ha!
09:54It's literally the greatest moment of my life!
09:59Oh!
10:00Why didn't they ask you to run then?
10:01Can't believe it.
10:02And they all thought I was dopey.
10:04Yeah.
10:05But why did we get it right?
10:06Because you're fucking intelligent.
10:08You're answering things right and you just do it automatically.
10:11Yeah.
10:12Yeah.
10:13Without thought.
10:14Since you start thinking.
10:15I do everything without thought.
10:16I mean there's nothing worse than fucking thinking is there?
10:19Yeah, yeah.
10:27In Brighton.
10:28I like your socks Joe.
10:29They're um, they're tartan.
10:31Where are they from?
10:32Scotland.
10:33Friends Roisin and Joe.
10:35They're not from Scotland.
10:37I get all my socks in Scotland.
10:38You don't get all my socks?
10:40I do.
10:41Where is your socks?
10:42I get my socks in Scotland, my trousers from Wales and my top and my underwear from England.
10:48And Ireland, I get, I accessorise.
10:51I accessorise from Ireland.
10:53Okay.
10:54Socks from Scotland, trousers from Wales, tops and underwear from England.
10:59I don't care about the rest of your clothes.
11:01Okay.
11:02I only care about the socks.
11:03The rest of your clothes are boring.
11:04The socks are some pizzazz.
11:05Do you want to work up my luggage?
11:07No.
11:08Mainland Europe.
11:09In July, there was some transatlantic dating on Discovery Plus.
11:14Hey Clay, you're single.
11:15Would you let me match make you?
11:16No.
11:17No.
11:18What do you mean no right away?
11:19Who would you put me with?
11:20Would you not trust me?
11:21I don't know.
11:22I once went on a date where I lived in Paris with a French girl.
11:29Woo hoo, la la.
11:31So I might be able to bring some expertise to this.
11:34I've got a friend who's married to someone who lives abroad and he quite likes it because
11:37he's got to come back here for work so he gets to be away from her quite a lot.
11:40That sounds like a good relationship.
11:41Oh yeah.
11:42Rock solid.
11:43I'm Victoria.
11:44Hi Victoria.
11:45Hi Victoria.
11:46I love her.
11:47I love her.
11:48In a few hours I'm headed to the airport going to Ireland.
11:51Ireland.
11:52I love Irish accent.
11:53I love an Irish accent.
11:54I mean I do love a ginger.
11:55I love a ginger.
11:56I love a ginger.
11:57That's why I'm going to Ireland.
11:58Love some freckles.
11:59They drink a lot.
12:01I mean she has to stereotype the whole notion there.
12:03Yeah.
12:04She's going to Ireland because you think they drink a lot, they're ginger and they have
12:07freckles.
12:08Sorry.
12:09She calls herself an equal opportunity dater.
12:13This is the matchmaker.
12:14But what it actually means is that she's desperate to date anyone.
12:18It's been it, alright Trina.
12:20She's desperate to date anyone.
12:22I want to see your wish list.
12:24Oh, wish list.
12:25Here we go.
12:26Right, let's find out what she wants.
12:28So what have we got here?
12:29Okay, full head of hair.
12:31Full head of hair, good.
12:34No bald people.
12:35Right.
12:36Because I feel like I'm like spontaneous and I want someone with like a dark side.
12:40A dark side?
12:41Yeah, I'm really into goths.
12:43Yeah, or evil villains.
12:45Yeah, preferably stroking a cat on a spinning chair.
12:48Or what, tattoos?
12:50Do like drugs on the spur of the moment.
12:52Did she say drugs?
12:54Did she say drugs?
12:55You know, someone who could do drugs on the spur of the moment.
12:58I thought she said that.
12:59What the fuck?
13:00Someone like wild, like maybe they've been arrested.
13:03Something like your life.
13:05I've been in prison.
13:06She wants an absolute rogue.
13:08Normally you say I quite like bad boys but I shouldn't.
13:11She got really excited.
13:12I need him to have been arrested.
13:14A few tattoos, preferably on the neck.
13:16I really love a mugshot.
13:18More!
13:19Today is my first official date.
13:22Katerina has picked an oyster farm for our date spot.
13:25An oyster farm.
13:26Bit obvious.
13:27An oyster farm with a bad boy.
13:28So, the match I have for Victoria is Dave.
13:32Dave.
13:33Dave.
13:34Dave, the dangerous Dave.
13:36Dangerous Dave.
13:37Watch out.
13:38Let's see if an Irish bad boy is the kind of guy Victoria needs.
13:44Irish bad boy.
13:45Come on.
13:46Where's Dave at?
13:47PHONE RINGS
13:49Frickin' hell.
13:51HE LAUGHS
13:52HE LAUGHS
13:53HE LAUGHS
13:54HE LAUGHS
13:55HE LAUGHS
13:56HE LAUGHS
13:57HE LAUGHS
13:58HE LAUGHS
13:59HE LAUGHS
14:00How are you?
14:01Good, how are you?
14:02Very good, nice to meet you.
14:03He looks like a nice boy.
14:04He looks quite nice, doesn't he?
14:06Oh, just there.
14:09Ah!
14:10There you go.
14:11Oh, God, don't give dangerous Dave a hose.
14:13HE LAUGHS
14:14Can I blast myself with it?
14:15Can I blast myself with it?
14:16HE LAUGHS
14:18HE LAUGHS
14:19HE LAUGHS
14:21HE LAUGHS
14:22HE'S MAD!
14:23HE'S MAD!
14:24HE'S FUCKING MAD!
14:25That was kind of sore, actually.
14:27HE LAUGHS
14:28Of course it was.
14:29You just jet washed your face, Dave.
14:31Probably got a black eye.
14:33HE LAUGHS
14:34Yeah, quite sore, actually.
14:36Victoria seems like she's up for good fun,
14:38and I really like that about her, I appreciated that,
14:40so, like, I wouldn't mind, like, sleeping with her.
14:42HE LAUGHS
14:44HE LAUGHS
14:46Dave is unbelievable.
14:49That is definitely an aprodisiac.
14:51I am getting so excited.
14:52I'm feeling randy now, what about you?
14:54You sweet-talking bastard.
14:55HE LAUGHS
14:56Imagine in broad daylight, without a drink,
15:00without even a bit of flirting, someone just goes,
15:02I've got the horn for you.
15:04Er, just to let you know, I have an erection.
15:06HE LAUGHS
15:07Um, I've had four oysters and, er, I'm as hard as a tank.
15:11Let me try some, er, like, the green sauce.
15:14Do, how's that, oh, that's a good, is that enough?
15:17He's put too much on there.
15:18And this is gonna be another Dave Wilde moment, isn't it?
15:20Mm.
15:21Not wild.
15:22Yeah.
15:23HE LAUGHS
15:24HE LAUGHS
15:26HE LAUGHS
15:27He's taken the horn out of him.
15:30HE LAUGHS
15:32Speaking of spice, let's put some in my heart.
15:34Please do it, please do it, please do it, please do it.
15:37What are you doing?
15:40No!
15:41No!
15:42No, no, no!
15:43Oh!
15:44Errgh!
15:45Errgh!
15:46Errgh!
15:47Errgh!
15:48Errgh!
15:49Ah!
15:51Imagine being on a date!
15:53Oh, my God!
15:56Errgh!
15:57He's an absolute fucking lunatic.
16:02For her next date.
16:04Uh-huh.
16:05Great icebreaker.
16:06But, to be able to go, what's your worst first date,
16:09no one would believe her yeah that's true a guy turned up with a train horn that told me he was
16:13horny and then poured tabasco in his eyes yeah and sprayed himself in the face with a high
16:18pressured hose in manchester do you know what in all my time i've never been on a parents whatsapp
16:27group how good is that that's terrible friends mark and kelly oh they're funny though they're not
16:34they are i was clap rep when you class rep when class rep yeah what did you have to do to be
16:44class rep i don't know but i put a lot of gifts on my uh on my whatsapps you'd have hated me just
16:49put gifts on your whatsapps all the time you'd have hated me i would put little things out going
16:54morning everyone leave leave mark chapman has left the group
17:00in the summer we were taken on another big boating adventure with this
17:08quick hurry up we're gonna miss canal boat diaries if you don't change the channel have you been on the
17:14canal boat yeah bro slept on one really horrible experience i'm robbie coming
17:24that's me hello that's him i've watched this before i love him you know what i think robbie's
17:29now become one of the heroes and this is my narrowboat home the naughty lass the naughty lass hello
17:36i like that i like that naughty lass double entendre come on come on i learned that word recently you
17:44really i've been waiting to use it boy lovely start to the morning he just had his hands in the
17:49naughty lass's gearbox then and can you show that on the cellar this time i'm tackling the basingstoke canal
17:57the basin stoke canal don't want to throw shade at anyone here doesn't sound amazing
18:09do you reckon by lock three it's a bit boring like the first one's quite fun yeah second one you get
18:15the end of it and then you're like this novelty's worn off yeah this trip is likely to be a bit of a
18:21challenge for me go on the basingstoke canal is notorious for weed basing stoke canals notorious for
18:29weed it is always always always was yeah always was mate wait wait what we'd wait oh getting caught
18:37on the propeller oh no weeds oh wait i thought you meant wait no although it's somewhere i'm really
18:43looking forward to exploring there is a side of me that's thinking can i actually make it to the end i don't
18:48know oh there's the jeopardy robbie don't be mad turn back it's the basing stoke canal as soon as i
18:56enter it there's a massive raft of weeds oh he's got to get through those weeds yeah and what we know
19:02the basing stoke canal is notorious for them denise here we go i love you go on thankfully that weed
19:12wasn't a worry oh thank god for that that's it i'm so happy for you right another early morning and
19:21i just need to make myself some breakfast before i set off oh what's he gonna have this is gonna be
19:26interesting what's he got looking at my supplies here of my homemade muesli that needs to be topped up
19:35oh there's tea there's nothing like watching someone make their own muesli i'll tell you what
19:41that's it life in the fast lane add some more oats some seeds dried fruit that's not breakfast no
19:51and i usually put in some kind of naughty sugary cereal so i've got some hoops hang on he's chucked some
19:57cheerios in there yeah that's not healthy oh it's the most wholesome but boring man i've ever been
20:04and guys no one said anything but sir frosted tradies oh i feel sorry for him now i don't know
20:18look at him look at his little heart so patronizing look at his little hat
20:21he's coming into fleet oh he's coming into fleet now oh i've just seen possibly the lowest bridge
20:31that i've ever come across oh oh no this is the highlight of his day this is hilarious
20:44that's gonna be tricky i think it's that bit the boat gets down well if it does it'll liven it the
20:50fuck up yeah oh no robbie i think there might have been some breakage oh he's gonna be stuck this
21:02is what we've tuned in for the boat is basically wedged underneath this bridge why did he go that
21:08far in i don't know what i'm gonna do and they thought the weed was gonna be the problem common
21:14sense like why did he not just think oh i'm not getting under there take all the stuff off all
21:21his energies on knocking up his own muesli yeah you have to call my friend jamie he lives locally with
21:26his family and he helped me the other day so i'm hoping he can help me again unless he's superman or
21:33something i imagine turning up to that going what the fuck you would you want me to do yeah why have
21:39you called me well because you're a mate and i know you live local you know i work in an office
21:47he came down jumped on the front of the boat adding a bit more weight agent way out does he that gave us
21:54just enough room with jamie on the front to get the boat underneath the bridge wow and he's through oh
22:01thank god that was real that was touch and go then thanks for rescuing me thanks jamie see you
22:08is this actually a shot yeah yeah i'll be honest with you he's not done a good job of showing you
22:13how good a life could be on a little narrow boat no what he has done is show you what it's really like
22:18no he has you need to eat food out of boxes you get stuck under the way television works it was all
22:25x-factored and made to look more interesting than what it was that was more interesting yes
22:39in essex can i tell you what shocks me to this day i can't get over it do you want to pack a
22:44dishwasher tablet at all i don't know why they're pricing them there it's you need a small mortgage
22:50yeah but dishwasher tablets best mates jordan and perry oh if sorry if i take them home and
22:56i've got to rip the packet open yeah fuming fuming like it's not like a little pot that pops yeah but
23:01even when you rip the packet open i find it all the time it's like putting my hand and you put your
23:05hand in it a lot of them are burst like all the time maybe i'm just too rough on my job you're heavy
23:09handed i am quite heavy-handed i love i'm nine and ever burst i like doing that and then go okay i think
23:16you need to you need to grow up a bit bad really yeah that's how you that's how you turn the dishwasher
23:20i think you need to live a little next next time behind that packet i'm telling you do that
23:29is that it yeah but it's it's better without the eye contact
23:35back in june weatherfield's finest were on the warpath again on itv i don't submit in coronation
23:42street i could never sell anyone i went to a party there once i won't let you know what happened
23:48but it's what you mean on set on the set there's a back of the rollers coronation street all right
23:54the funniest of the soaps am i wrong what's the concept
24:03is it one street is it like sesame street
24:05it's just the area isn't it it's not
24:12big bird's gonna make it a bit my favorite mrs snuffleupagus snuffleupagus like oscar
24:17in the episode we dropped into rye's roles and a tense standoff between lou and maria
24:23do you want something what me and my family are decent people i'd prefer if you kept your distance
24:29wow no hold on hold on hold on hold on that's a bold opener yes i mean you scumbag yes just stay
24:36out of my business and i'll stay out of yours oh george george george george that's what you're like
24:48i don't know i just i just feel like i'm trying so hard to fit in around here and no one wants to
24:53know me well no one wants to know lou because if the old fella killed the cop killed craigie did
25:01it yeah so her husband's been done for murder and she's just trying to fit in now well i think
25:05everybody's still very angry with that husband of yours so who's
25:12i just think everybody's a bit miffed with your husband for killing that police officer he's a cheeky
25:18bugger isn't he david was supposed to take this to the bank but i haven't seen hide nor hair of him
25:24she's not daft did you see her eyes like up when audrey was doing the tilt yeah i can take it if you
25:30like no no it's all right thank you uh shona can give it to him and give him a kick up the backside
25:36she's been a lot of plates here audrey yeah she's this is her in the scene hold on hold on what do you
25:43want no you take it no no you take it no you no which one of you will take it a bit later and
25:53everyone had popped round to david platts for a barbecue said it was a deal breaker why is david so
25:59iconic this is the fellow that's just one big brother and a couple load of that i saw that last
26:06time i came huh what is it oh david loves his new table today right everyone nibbles no not on there
26:15seriously don't don't put them on there come on so it's four massive chat about a table i was gonna
26:20say what are they all just talking about the one piece of table yeah it's a big topic in the outside
26:25that must have been a local tree all right uh barry keoghan's got same one apparently no he has
26:29who's barry keoghan barry keoghan the actor barry kian physical kian from saltburn david
26:39here what do you want me to do with this what is it it's cash in the salon oh she's got an eye on
26:46that cash from the salad again lou blotting and scheming it's like a front for a heroin business
26:50isn't it i would really be right on it wouldn't she yeah
26:53she's going up the coffee table she is as well she's seen that coffee table she's going is that
27:03barry keoghan's one i was sneaking the cat don't do it don't do it
27:13just put it back put it back good choice
27:21i knew it oh oh how dare you oh i was just looking yeah i know exactly what you were doing
27:28you're thieving cow oh thieving cow see that's what i would call the two i was looking for a brown
27:32envelope i brought my own brown envelope with me saw a brown envelope there i thought oh is that my
27:37brown envelope no that's the one with all the money yeah that's got the money i don't want that one
27:41my one's the one without the money in it yeah which is um so if you do see that let me know
27:46anyway love this coffee table i know you're up to summit you're going nowhere do it get off
27:54from it maria oh you're going nowhere you're gonna sit on that coffee table love they're gonna
27:59smash the table david's gonna be livid don't fight near the table shut up captain know it all
28:05right i think we're gonna have to send out for pizza i wouldn't even give that to david the duck
28:10no what was that the table barry keoghan's coffee table
28:22what was that smash you know what it was david it's your coffee table mate
28:25oh my arm is killing me are you joking are you okay you're joking you're joking that was barry keoghan's
28:35one i didn't fall and i'm not drunk she pushed me oh come on who's standing on what side she was
28:45rummaging through that bag yeah and i said to her what are you playing at she said nothing so i said
28:51right okay show me your pockets then she did look at them all standing around there like it's
28:56fucking cluedo i like how she's explaining everything and um poor old david's there just
29:03looking at his table just just looking through just picking up the bits if you don't believe me
29:09just look and show his bag oh well he's still here still she's guilty but it's not all arrow is it
29:18is it not why is the painting of jim broadbent behind her oh yeah do you reckon that was a real
29:25table they used or was it a stunt table not it's gonna keep me up tonight i'm not gonna stop thinking
29:32about that coffee table claire sorry man in london shall we compare helmets because you got a vespa here
29:40i got a bike well yours is very pink and shiny mates munya and jamie i'm aerodynamic yeah look at
29:47that look at you look like a professional look at the point on that yeah i'm a professional
29:53cyclist when i do this it's unbelievable stay like that stay like do you know how you can tell if
29:57it's good stay like that don't move don't move this is how you can tell ready let's just ready
30:02look at the arch the arch is crazy yeah oh no no no bro because now i can't move okay yeah yeah but
30:08now now do the legs do the legs no because it's going to spill on me you've just trapped me you've
30:12been capturing some sort of weird twisted sword challenge right if i cycle real slowly okay go
30:18and pedal because i'm pedaling i'm just going up a hill i am pedaling bro pedal
30:26in the summer gary barlow was enjoying some culinary delights down under on atv
30:32i'm into my wine at the minute aren't i yeah you have really got into wine oh i love it every
30:39time i ring you it's like yeah i've just enjoyed a bottle of red and i'm like he's aged better
30:44actually he looks much better now than when he was first and take that yeah really yeah men do seem to
30:50age well don't we generally most men no he had a good lockdown didn't he follow what do you mean
31:01what did he do in lockdown he played his piano a lot online did he yeah so that someone was watching
31:07him a lot on lockdown he couldn't stop him couldn't not watch him i'm hundreds of miles from the nearest
31:16city alice springs we've been there yeah but i'm not quite as alone as i look oh he's got company
31:23who is it because unless i'm hallucinating i'd swear that was ronan keaton coming towards me
31:32oh it's boy band heaven yes yes what are the chances
31:37i hate things like this on programs like this because it's not a surprise gary it's not a
31:44surprise production i've told you they've told you ronan keaton's not walked there across australia
31:49don't you bring me to all the nice places look at this sworn enemies up until 10 minutes ago
31:57that's the truth i've got another surprise for ronan they should like this one they're actually very
32:02similar aren't they yes they are they're slowly turning into the same person aren't they i think that's
32:06what gary bala shows about he just slowly turns everyone into gary bala yeah we try our hands at
32:11creating a sound that's become synonymous with australia's indigenous culture beating
32:18i sense a didgeridoo will be upon oh the didgeridoo it's going to be the didgeridoo
32:24so we've come to a sand dune for a didgeridoo master class i'd love to have a go on one of them
32:29i think quite hard i don't know there's no buttons is there to learn all about the rhythms
32:34of this ancient mystical instrument are they not allowed one they've got to play this
32:39there's only one they can only afford one you know what i really really wanted to see today
32:44yeah is gary barlow and ronan keaton banging sticks together you said that before we started this yeah
32:51love that sound of the didgeridoo absolutely you can't not love that sound all day with that
32:57buzzing around you know hey that'll twist your melon where your breath is on the chitin on the do
33:04what did he say so just so to lucky to lucky go and try that to waki to waki
33:10so to waki i leap out of the water going to waki to waki then i'll come up to the part where i'm going
33:14to breathe and go it's like the worst teacher in the whole world i haven't got a single clue what
33:20he's talking about air here air here mouth dig air air two forces meeting oh shut up can i just say
33:29it's a didgeridoo all you gotta do is just blow yes hum hum hum at the back of your throat and just go
33:33Didgeridshy
33:35Didgeridshy
33:37Didgeridshy
33:41Fucking Dalek
33:45That's it? That's, beautiful
33:47Love it!
33:48Run he's involved now
33:49I think you might be winding them up
33:50I think it is
33:51I feel like ant and deck are going to come out in a second
33:53Got an ear piece the whole time
33:56Listen
33:57That's the didgeridshy
33:59That's the didgeridshy
34:00Oh, didgeridshy
34:01Yeah, where's the doo?
34:02Then the do.
34:04Not massively different.
34:06Put them together.
34:10He literally used to say didgeridoo.
34:14Didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo.
34:20What was the thing I needed to do?
34:21Oh, no, he's not going to have a go, is he?
34:24Did you do that?
34:26Except that Sam's muffling it.
34:31Excuse me.
34:32thanks mate and with that we're both back where we started on the rhythm section
34:38gary didn't have a go why isn't gary gonna have a go doesn't want to make an idiot himself okay
34:50is this really i feel like i'm hallucinating what would you rather play the maracas i did
34:54you do well the maracas are easily but i play both equally as bad
35:02in north london you want a crisp no not to eat crisps why not i'm just trying to you know
35:15keep it real steven and his sister an eater i did the marathon and then what happens is you stop
35:20running and you just eat for six months so i'm going to try not to do that oh i see so you try
35:26not to eat well i'm trying not to eat rubbish i see yeah because you think you can eat anything when
35:32you're running that much and then you stop running and then you carry on eating that much
35:35i love the way you just got that in there because i've just done the marathon i just like to drop
35:39that into every occasion excuse me do you know that i just run the marathon a few weeks ago hello
35:463 56 and 22 seconds oh my god in june itv livened up our morning with more of this
35:54wakey wakey wakey mate fucking this mardy's up come in b let's see how they manage to fill a few hours of
36:03television
36:10jeez come on bro this is something called morning tv yeah you know while you're asleep yeah other people
36:16are making television yeah you could you've never watched this have you because you've literally never
36:20been awake yeah not just any old fish friday today no it's officially officially get it national
36:27fish and chip day national fish and chip national fishing okay wow do you like fish and chips i do i
36:33love fish and chips i like fish chips lord something out and curry sauce to dip in oh you're so northern
36:41to celebrate we got the potato queen herself poppy oto oh i like poppy the potato she cooks potatoes in
36:47lots of different ways yeah poppy's amazing she's incredible i've seen this girl do things with
36:51potatoes that are inhuman what's your favorite way to have a potato or go don't from well
36:57so we've got the mega fish and chip butty oh my goodness all of the components are quite flashy oh
37:03look at that oh man that's not a fish butty me that's a banquet and i'm all for it 10 30 or not
37:11mate i'm in there so we're starting off with a vodka and tonic battered what fish yes vodka vodka in
37:18the battle she's muscle i like her yeah a vodka tonic batter yeah just when it couldn't get any better
37:23you would love that vodka fish and chips my worlds are collided so what's your favorite fish to have
37:29as fish and chips do you cod girl haddock cod it's got to be cod this is journalism this is good i'm haddock
37:35i am i love haddock they all taste the same they're in batter i'd have a remote control for owning a deep
37:41fat frayer what's your favorite fish for a haddock is it yeah what's yours haddock as well actually
37:47well that's good chat if you go to fish and chips what's your normal order what about a pickled egg
37:53i don't mind the pickled egg i love a pickled egg what are you oh chips and a battered sausage
37:58oh you love yourself i do and a bit of curry sauce to dip it in
38:07i've got another question really if you what do you drink with fish and chips dandelion and burdock
38:14water you drink water because there's enough going on also you know i like to make the fish feel at home
38:20yeah i go lemonade or a cup of tea oh cup of tea nah nah get phil back get phil back
38:28because he wouldn't drink tea no he wouldn't get phil back on really love a cup of tea you know
38:33what's nice with the fish and chips a molebec a molebec with fish and chips is that wine well i
38:39think it is drink wine molebec wine with fish and chips unless you're in alcohol well unless you're a
38:46twat very nice what do you what do you drink at home just uh send that in to us so that we know let them
38:52know kelly let them know who's messaging this morning to tell them what drink they have with a
38:57chippy tea more people than you think oh hang on one second i'm just gonna message this morning i have
39:04a glass of water send some of your lovely goujons with your vodka tonic how are we gonna get our mouth
39:10around me well thank you well i'm glad someone said it allison that's too big for my mouth yeah you can't
39:15open your mouth very wide so that's not good guys i cannot eat that sandwich look at the size of
39:21that that is a big sandwich go on go on i would be like you've got to go to break because things
39:26are about to get real freaky this sandwich honestly yeah you would not want to cut back to me you come
39:31back from break and i'll be on the sofa going in birmingham you know what i've got what what you got
39:39it's been so hot recently as well um i've got these at home that i use that they're fans look
39:45allison her son aiden and her sister sandra oh you put around your neck you put you can put but this
39:51this one that was huge look at the size of it yeah but look it twists it's really really good look
39:56you can have it anywhere and at night you know when you can't see yeah turn it on feel that you can
40:05have one up there and then i need that just where's the other one well wherever you want it
40:14over the summer channel four turned up the heat with another toe curling trip to the open house
40:20what are we watching now sex come on i'm so excited for this sexy time come on it's basically loads of
40:27up for it people go to a house and bang nice house it's a great house if you're gonna have sex in a house
40:34go there do it in that one how are you with sex well do you like it i think i'm rather splendid at
40:40it yeah in my own opinion i mean it's brief but it's enjoyable that's all you need heading to the
40:45retreat our married couple hairdresser tanya and window cleaner ashley from leeds okay all right
40:52classic window cleaner
40:54we're gonna go to the club club
41:00tanya brought up the idea of an open relationship and letting other women join us
41:04which was a bit of a shock at first i didn't know if it was like a trap
41:09he's like shred carefully boy he's like i would never do that
41:14i couldn't i mean if it's gonna make you happy
41:22tanya and ashley have been having sex with other people for five years oh i say how do they get in
41:29have you got underwear that looks like that is that underwear i think so okay i have a lot of ribbons
41:34i could probably make that out of my art and crafts draw so we're coming in to venture off our own
41:39separate ways to have sex separately from each other oh right so now having done everything
41:46together now it's doing it apart it's so dangerous this game isn't it i would be so nervous right now
41:51would you yeah so obviously there's always a worry about rejection but i'm hoping that that doesn't
41:56actually happen oh tanya find someone she sort of goes off and i just sit in the room a clock watching
42:01waiting to come back will be pretty horrible oh no he's struggling i feel sorry for him already
42:08i'm worried he's gonna be sat there with a word search and a cup of cocoa while she's off i've been
42:14you know the time of her life yeah how are you going have fun see you soon oh god are you going
42:23go on hey go on off you go let mommy have some fun this is gonna work out quite badly i think right
42:29see you back here in half an hour yeah or not or not i'm olivia it's lovely to meet you is tanya like
42:35your comfort blanket yep yeah it's not very sexy though is it that the nervousness no it's relatable
42:42and i'm definitely that person but if you're looking to go upstairs to the west wing and get
42:46banged you're not going to be looking to him are you my husband too he's in there and i'm like where
42:51is he oh so her husband's in there and talking to his wife right is this you asking me back is it
42:59potentially yeah i'm interested i'm definitely yeah you're not gonna reject i'm not gonna reject you
43:05no because if you do honestly i'll hunt you down no no no oh look at him yeah i want to go and give
43:12ashley a hug now that may be misinterpreted within that environment in the context see you soon oh my god
43:19oh god see you soon oh listen each to their own but he clearly ain't into this all right yeah i'm
43:26good how are you i'm good it's got all really quiet oh she's sweet she's sweet so this is the bloke's
43:32wife um plot twist this prosecco's nice that was his chat prosecco's nice
43:41yeah i wonder if you wanted to go spend a bit more time together
43:44yeah i would like to get to know you more yeah that's good to her yeah yeah come on ash
43:51come on ash do the best taking my shoes off yeah take your shoes off let's get let's get comfortable
43:56mommy there's cameras i mean there's cameras everywhere are we gonna we're not we're not are we we're not
44:02they're gonna don't have fun we can go to the earth if the earth's available the earth oh what is a
44:10yurt i think it's like a i thought it's where you milked goats oh it's nice oh it's a nice yurt
44:17it's a sort of glamping i'd like peter stream for his bedroom or we've gone camping yeah
44:24you are good yep oh ash it's unbearable i can't bear this
44:32meanwhile
44:40oh no it's a bit near the mark now isn't it
44:54no
45:00whoa
45:06whoa she's twerking
45:11where's our guy come on man i swear if we if we go back to this year and they're just eating
45:16pond bears and i'm not gonna be happy it better be a mess in there it better be it better be she
45:22She can't be doing our guy like that, man.
45:24Do you have pineapple pizza?
45:25No!
45:27No, no pineapple pizza.
45:29Do you have pineapple on your pizza?
45:30Pineapple pizza?
45:32Like the two opposites.
45:34Oh.
45:36Ash.
45:37Right, shall we get this awkwardness out of the way?
45:39Because this is making me cringy.
45:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:43Oh, it's dripping off.
45:45Just take it off.
45:47We have a thing.
45:48Have it.
45:49Come on, Ash.
45:50Oh, we're not going to see some awkward sex now.
45:52Come on, stuff her crust.
45:59Oh, good luck to them both.
46:00It's a happy ending.
46:02Yeah, twice.
46:02In more ways than one.
46:04Mm, very much so.
46:05Always great to watch with your sister.
46:11On the hunt for the big guy, Lenny Rush is even robbing in Stephen Fry.
46:15Magic and heartwarming drama, Finding Father Christmas.
46:18Perfectly placed this Christmas Eve at 7.30.
46:21The winners from series 16 to 20, which include Maisie Adam, Matthew Bainton and Sam Campbell.
46:27All come together for Taskmaster Champion of Champions 2025 this Monday at 9.
46:32Up next, the last leg.
46:33The last leg.
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