00:00I have pictures of my home
00:02Of all the people and the places that I've known
00:06Here's one, I'm carrying your suitcase
00:09Outside of Alphabet City
00:11Yo, how can I hear you?
00:13Hey, Felipe, it's Adam!
00:15Hi, from here!
00:17Where Maria is a wife
00:21I'm on the mantel in the corner of the footbell
00:25Smiling pretty
00:27Take another picture with him
00:31Click, click, click, click here on the red
00:35Hey, Dad.
00:37Hey. Check it out.
00:40Vinyasa yoga and the army ranger workout.
00:43I combined them!
00:44Wow. Very impressive.
00:46I'm gonna do a video, I think. Vinyasa power.
00:49I can almost see where your muscles go.
00:52Very funny.
00:54Hit me.
00:55No, I'm not gonna hit you. I don't wanna hurt you.
00:58You're not gonna hurt me.
00:59Come on, hit me. Give me your best shot.
01:01Come on, quick, before I get a hernia.
01:04No.
01:08You're right. Let's smoke some weed.
01:11This is really good stuff.
01:13My agent got me one of those medical marijuana cards.
01:16It's nice to see they're supporting your career.
01:18Yeah.
01:19So, um, how's the show going?
01:21It'll be great.
01:22I mean, it's about high schoolers who sing, dance, and blog.
01:27At least you're writing. That's what's important.
01:29No.
01:30I'm an assistant.
01:32Well, at least they've seen your writing.
01:36Not yet.
01:39Actually...
01:41I wanted to get your opinion on this episode that I wrote.
01:46Kind of a sample.
01:51It's my boy.
01:53I'll take a look at it, sure.
01:54And then I'll call somebody.
01:56No.
01:57Do not call on you.
01:59Just read it and tell me what you think.
02:01Okay.
02:04So...
02:06Are you having sex?
02:09Yes.
02:10I'm having sex.
02:11If you want any pointers, you know...
02:14I can help you out.
02:16If there's one thing you learn after two failed marriages,
02:18it's how to eat kitty.
02:20Anyone special?
02:22No.
02:23I mean, not since Vanessa.
02:26It's been a year.
02:27It's time to move on.
02:29It's been eight months, Dad.
02:31What did you want to talk to me about, anyway?
02:35Are you...
02:36You got a dog?
02:37Seriously?
02:38That's really good.
02:44You didn't tell him yet.
02:46Damn it.
02:47I wanted to tell you.
02:48I was just about to tell you.
02:49How long?
02:50Well, how long?
02:51Not long.
02:52I...
02:53She needed a place to stay.
02:54Because, you know, her landlord is such a D-bag.
02:55Christmas.
02:56I ran into her at a party.
02:57We got to talking.
02:58Not you, mostly.
02:59No!
03:00It looks so soft.
03:01It's not.
03:02Oh, God.
03:03Oh, that really hurt.
03:04Damn.
03:05You're fucking my ex-girlfriend?
03:06Well, yeah, but...
03:07I...
03:08I...
03:09to her at a party. We got to talking. Not you, mostly.
03:17It looks so soft. It's not. Oh, God.
03:22Oh, that really hurt. Damn.
03:27You're fucking my ex-girlfriend?
03:31Well, yeah, but...
03:37She's just so hot.
03:38I know how hot she is.
03:40That's really sweet. Thanks, Kevin.
03:42Fuck you!
03:43Adam, all right, I'm not the perfect dad.
03:46But the worst thing you can do in life is to say no to love.
03:50And I think she really loves me.
03:53Don't... Adam.
03:59Hey, you know the best part about my gay dads?
04:01What?
04:02They're never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
04:04That's true.
04:06Hey, I heard. You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
04:09Wow, Wallace.
04:11She chose your dad over you, man.
04:13That's like trading an iPod for an 8-track.
04:17You need to get even.
04:18Go have sex with one of his ex-girlfriends.
04:21Hey, you think when he's busting a nut, he's like,
04:23Great Scott!
04:26No?
04:28Like, can we talk about something else?
04:29Like, literally anything else?
04:31Yeah.
04:32Of course. Yeah.
04:33Great Scott.
04:38That's it.
04:39Going for it.
04:40Going for what?
04:41I'm gonna call every girl on my phone until someone agrees to have sex with me.
04:45That's strong.
04:47Toast to that.
04:48Toast. That is a terrible self-destructive plan and we're behind you 100%.
04:51Well, hello to you.
04:52Turn it up a little bit more.
04:53Uh-huh.
04:54Yeah, I can come to Ohio.
04:55If I am, I can't.
04:56If I am, I can't.
04:57I'll take your cab.
04:58No, it's fine.
04:59I'll come to you.
05:00What hospital?
05:01I just really need to be with someone right now.
05:03Hey, I was wondering.
05:04Do you have some place I could put my boner?
05:05No, it's just, we could just snuggle a little bit more.
05:06Yeah.
05:07Well, hello to you.
05:08Uh-huh.
05:09Yeah, I can come to Ohio.
05:10I can't.
05:11I can't.
05:12I can't.
05:13I can't.
05:14I can't.
05:15I can't.
05:16I can't.
05:17I can't.
05:18I can't.
05:19I can't.
05:20I can't.
05:21I can't.
05:22I can't.
05:23I can't.
05:24I can't.
05:25I can't snuggle or something.
05:26What?
05:27Well, how old are you?
05:29Oh.
05:30Okay.
05:34I got it.
05:35I got it.
05:36I got it.
05:37I got it.
05:38I got it.
05:39I got it.
05:40I got it.
05:55You
