00:00Isang ka ba sa mga taong gustong makaramdam ng lapis na pagmamahal at lambing?
00:05Ay nako, wag over-over sa pagmamahal dahil lahat ng sobra ay nakakasama.
00:11Pagdating sa pag-ibig, nakakasakal.
00:15Totoo yan, ang love bombing ay isang sitwasyon kung saan parang nilulunod ka ng affection, gifts,
00:21uy, gifts, at attention.
00:23Ano ba?
00:23Hanggang sa ma-overwhelm ka.
00:25Sa una, totoo, sweet, tapos romantic.
00:27Ayon sa mga eksperto, delikado pala ito.
00:30Talaga?
00:31At ngayong araw, pag-uusapan natin ito ng mas malalim kasamang psychiatrist,
00:35si Dr. John May Perez-Refarial.
00:37Good morning, Doc.
00:38Hello, and good morning, Profi, Sir Joshua, sa lahat ng mga nakikinig at nanonood.
00:43And advance, happy Valentine's Day.
00:45Rise and shine.
00:46Dapat ang segway natin, say ni Doc John May.
00:50Yes.
00:50Doc, paano ba nagiging manipulative o controlling ang love bombing?
00:58Tsaka parang ano ba ito, Gen Z term, pain love bombing?
01:01Yes.
01:01Ang love bombing, ang definition dito, ito yung pagbibigay ng excessive.
01:06Kaya siya para siyang, di ba, kung i-visualize mo yung bomb.
01:11Parang pinupuno mo, binibigay mo ng excessive na affection, pagmamahal, signs of praises, attention na isang individual.
01:21To make them feel, kaya papasok dito nung how it becomes controlling and manipulative.
01:26Okay.
01:26To make them feel na parang ano sila, special to the point na you gain their trust because of the pagmamahal, di ba, attention and affection.
01:35So, nagigain mo ang trust nila to the point na later on, control siya.
01:41It's actually a form of control para this individual will feel na, uy, sobrang special ako, kasi showered ako, may mga gifts.
01:49So, later on, ang control, papasok na, no, na parang nagigill trap na sila, na maaaring you.
01:56Pansinin mo ako, kasi ang dami ko na ibigay sa'yo.
01:59Or halimbawa, ang daming attention, so kailangan pagtatawag ako, sasagutin, di ba, or nagre-request na na lagi kayong magkasama.
02:07So, they request for time.
02:08To the point na ang manipulation doon and control is ina-isolate ka na nila sa iyong mga kaibigan, sa iyong family, kasi parang sila na lang palagi ang kausap mo.
02:21So, that's their form of control doon sa kanilang sinashoweran ng gifts and attention.
02:28Ito, pag-usapan naman natin, Doc, yung cycle ng love bombing, paano po ba ito nangyayari?
02:33So, ang sinasabi niyo po, pagka nagbigay na nagbigay yung isang individual, nage-expect siya ng kapalit.
02:41Maaaring ito kasi siya, parang cycle siya, part kasi ang love bombing, tiyatawag natin na emotional abuse.
02:47Okay.
02:48So, ang first doon is yung, ang love bombing stage is the, ang tawag natin na honeymoon stage.
02:53Ito yung parang lahat masaya. Lahat na, nafe-feel natin na special tayo.
02:58But after a while, nawawala ito. So, yun yung stage two.
03:03Parang nagkakaroon na, yung nagbibigay ng gifts initially, nagkakaroon sila ng mood swings, mood shifts, biglang ayaw na nila, nagde-detach sila.
03:12So, siyempre, ang nangyayari kasi sa ating brain, pag tayo, ang recipient ng mga gifts, may dopamine rush, adrenaline rush.
03:22Parang, we feel good. And because of that, na parang nagkakaroon ng mood shifts yung nagbibigay sa atin, nawawala.
03:29Nawawala na yung unti-unti. Hindi na sila receptive sa pangangailangan ng individual na kanilang initially sinusuyo.
03:37So, nagkakaroon na ng shift ng kanilang mood, nawawala na yung mga regalo.
03:43But because, dahil dito, later on, ang third stage is, nawawala sila, nage-exit sila, nawawala yung nagbibigay.
03:53Oo. Kaya, sometimes, because of the conflict...
03:56Parang silent manipulation yun na.
03:58Silent. Nage-gaslight sila. Maaring dito sa third stage na to, na nage-exit na sila, nage-gaslight.
04:04Sabihin nila, oh, binigay ko naman lahat sa'yo. So, dapat hindi ka nagagalit sa akin.
04:09Or dapat binigay ko lahat sa'yo. Dapat ako lang. So, mga ganon.
04:13And later on, because nga hinahanap-hanap yung that dopamine rush, adrenaline rush,
04:18sila din, to continue manipulating, bumabalik sila.
04:22And bumabalik sila doon sa honeymoon stage na sinusuyo nila ulit para to come back doon sa relationship.
04:29So, kaya siya cycle. Kaya siya cycle. Kasi, initially, binibigyan lahat, tapos biglang nawawala sila.
04:35But gusto nilang bumalik sa situation na yun. So, bumabalik sila to, ano ulit, no?
04:41Showering gifts. Again, manipulation siya.
04:45Ang galing, no? Kasi, ano, eh. Parang bagay na bagay talaga dito yung mga taong gusto nila ginakatanggap na material na bagay.
04:51To the extent na talaga tinitignan nila yung presyo.
04:53O, ayan. Pag na-love bomb ka, bahala ka sa buhay mo.
04:56Pero, ano ba ang pamantayan? Para masabi natin na it's genuine happiness or it's love bombing.
05:05Is it, is this term, is being, uh, is it being used because it's in the generation that we have right now, the Gen Z part?
05:13Because different terms are being used, silent quitting, gaslighting, which I haven't encountered before.
05:20And it was just, uh, in different social media platforms right now.
05:23And you learn about these words that, you know, hindi mo naman alam dati, do?
05:26Correct. Ano ba to?
05:27Oo, oo. Yes. Medyo nagtatransition ang mga terminologies natin, ang tawag natin.
05:33But, yun pa rin, dati naman nangyayari na to.
05:35Okay.
05:36Ang siguro, we describe it lang before as manipulation.
05:39Okay.
05:40Meron kasing power imbalance, eh.
05:42Again, yung isang nagbibigay ng regalo, may power imbalance na doon.
05:47And, uh, gusto nila, gusto nila, eh, to take control of the other person.
05:52So, kaya na ang tawag before, nasa honeymoon phase.
05:55Okay.
05:55Honeymoon phase.
05:56Oo, but in fact, really, minamanipulate na ang isang individual para they feel indebted.
06:03Oo, okay.
06:03May utang na loob.
06:04Ang dami ang alam ni Doc's Love, no?
06:06Siguro yung asawa niya talagang kayang-kayang, ano, manipulahin.
06:11Hindi naman.
06:12Hindi naman, hindi naman.
06:13Kaya, kailangan, kaya, always ang advice kasi, no, kung kailan ba tayo nalalovebomb.
06:19Okay.
06:19So, isa dito is kung mabilis.
06:20Okay.
06:21Mabilis.
06:22Gusto kasi nila makuha ka agad yung trust, eh.
06:24Ay, walang pasensya.
06:25Gusto ka agad lang makuha yung loob.
06:27Oo, oo, oo.
06:28Kaya, kailangan careful ka.
06:29Kung ikaw yung binibigyan ng mga regalo, magtataka ka.
06:32If it feels too good to be true, lalo na yung mga sinasabi, mga flowery words, mga phrases,
06:38nasa parang, ah, susi ng kondo.
06:39Ganyan, alam mo, inin ko, it applies also with friends.
06:42Especially those people na gusto magka-friend talaga.
06:45Tapos sa dulo, ma-manipulahin ka.
06:47May ganun din.
06:48Yes, and ito din, maaari siyang gamitin for love scams.
06:51Ayun pa.
06:52Kasi, halimbawa, isa shower, shower, shower ka na, ma-manipulate ka.
06:55Later on, when you get the face of the individual,
06:58you can trust,
06:59and comfortable one on the situation,
07:02it's a problem.
07:03The problem is,
07:05you can't trust the face of the face.
07:07Correct!
07:08You can't accept it.
07:09You can't accept it.
07:10So, so-so-so-so, I need to replace it.
07:12Kaya, you can't get it.
07:14Yes, it's a problem.
07:16Kaya, it's like a bomb.
07:17It's like a bomb.
07:19But, they leave a mark.
07:22Kaya hinahanap-hanap din
07:24nung individual na binigyan.
07:26Kasi nga, because of the dopamine.
07:28Doc, for Valentine's Day,
07:29what is your message to the people
07:31about love bombing?
07:32Para maiwasan.
07:33And sana-sana clear tayo
07:36na ito pala ay love bomb.
07:37Hindi ito genuine.
07:39Number one, mabilisan sila eh.
07:40Very fast.
07:41Gusto nila kaagad makuha yung ano mo.
07:43Gusto nila magpakasal ka agad.
07:45They make plans ka agad.
07:46So, make sure na take it slow
07:49sa relationship.
07:50Know the person mo na
07:51na you are dating
07:52and set boundary.
07:54Ayun.
07:55Limitations.
07:56Limit lang.
07:57Scope and limitations,
07:58chapter one.
08:00Huwag naman tawag ng tawag
08:01na kaya na lang dalawa forever.
08:03Di ba?
08:03And of course,
08:04make sure na you protect yourself.
08:06Ayun.
08:07Alright.
08:08Maraming maraming salamat po muli
08:09at nakakasama natin
08:10si Dr. John May Perez-Refarial.
08:13Thank you so much, Doc.
08:14See you later next week.
08:16Happy Valentine's.
08:17Happy Valentine's, Doc.
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