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00:01Good morning! Happy Sunday! It is day three of Essence Fest y'all. Can y'all
00:09believe it's already almost over? I'm getting sad. Well how are you guys
00:15feeling this morning? You feeling good? I'm feeling good because guess what? It's
00:19my birthday week y'all. My birthday is this week. It's Thursday! Okay so guys, for
00:25those of you guys who don't know who I am, my name is Jessie Wu. I'm your sister!
00:29And baby we're back for the third and final day of the Essence Festival of
00:34Culture. Now either day three has really snuck up on us or we're just having too
00:39much fun, alright? So clap it up if you guys have had an amazing time this year
00:45at Essence Fest. It's been amazing. I've had an amazing time here at Center Stage.
00:50It's been so lit. Alright guys, so you guys know we are at the epicenter of Black
00:55joy, celebration, and self-love with all of you. Now today may be the last day but
01:00the Essence Stage party does not stop. So whether you're here in person or tuning in
01:05online at Essence.com or EssenceFestival.com, the fun continues with a
01:12litty lineup of conversations and performances today. Are you guys ready?
01:17All right, let's do it then. So the first panel is all about taking care of our minds.
01:24Essence Fest, please welcome to the stage lifestyle editor at Essence Magazine, Dominique Flocker!
01:34and board-certified psychiatrist and speaker, Dr. Jess Clements!
01:43Y'all can do better now, make some more noise, y'all!
01:57Good morning Essence Fest! My name is Dominique Flocker and I'm the lifestyle editor at Essence Magazine.
02:03And I'm so excited to sit down for this intimate conversation with Dr. Jess to talk
02:10about the importance of mental health and wellness today.
02:18So let's kick off this conversation. Hi Dr. Jess!
02:21Hello! I'm so excited to be here. This is stunning, beautiful, the energy. I'm excited.
02:27And we're ready for this colorful conversation.
02:29So Dr. Jess, you are a board-certified psychiatrist. Tell us about how you got into doing this work
02:36and why it was important for you to pursue a career in mental health.
02:39Oh yes, so I am a little girl's dream realized.
02:43Little Jess, little Jessica wanted to be a doctor and that is how I got to this point.
02:50But psychiatry mental health actually came when I was in medical school.
02:54I was taking care of someone who had severe depression. I mean to the point that they couldn't really talk.
03:00They weren't moving. And I saw him get better.
03:03And I remember the psychiatrist I was training under said, this is psychiatry. This is mental health.
03:09And from there, that was it. That was it. Now the journey to Dr. Jess came through finding my way
03:16wilderness of anxiety. And so for me, my mission every single day is to make sure that I educate people
03:23about mental health and show them where to go to get help.
03:26And that's so important and needed in our community as someone who's suffered from anxiety and mental health issues as well.
03:34It's been paramount for me to get therapy. So thank you for your work. Your very important work.
03:40Thank you. Thank you.
03:42So there's so much talk about self-care these days and mostly online.
03:47We all know it's important, but sometimes there's confusion between self-care and actually getting the mental health that you need.
03:54So can you talk about the importance of both, especially in the black community?
03:58Yes. So I love talking about self-care because I think it's the easiest thing we can do.
04:05It starts with taking intentional steps every single day to nurture yourself, right?
04:11You are taking care of eating right. You're exercising. You're prioritizing sleep.
04:16Now, the difference I want people to understand is that self-care is maintenance.
04:21Self-care is something that you should do and treat it as an obligation.
04:25When we're talking about therapy, I think black women should go to therapy no matter what, by the way.
04:31But the difference is usually by the time you're seeking therapy, you just need a little help, right?
04:36You need to talk about some things. You want to face some things.
04:39You're having some trouble with self-care.
04:41So think about them as two separate things, but both of them are important.
04:46I'm in therapy too, okay? And I love self-care as well.
04:50You hear that? It's all about holistic wellness.
04:53You can have multiple forms to take care of yourself.
04:56And it's important to start with self-care, but get the extra help that you need from a medical professional.
05:02As black women, so many of us work and move until we're at the brink of complete exhaustion.
05:08I've been one of them who suffered from burnout.
05:11We pour until we're empty.
05:13One of the top indicators, it's time to take a mental health reset or wellness sabbatical.
05:20Oh, yes. And by the way, you know, I love the piece that you did on wellness sabbatical.
05:26It's needed not only within our community, but it's important that you're bringing this, that Essence is bringing this to our community.
05:34So thank you.
05:35Thank you, Dr. Jess.
05:37But, you know, to your question, I think for our community, by the time we're at the point of exhaustion, it's already too late.
05:44So if you're experiencing these feelings of burnout, you're feeling really jaded, you're not enjoying yourself, I would say that you're at the point where help would have already been great to call in.
05:56Within our community, black people are less likely to seek out mental health treatment until things are already too far gone.
06:03And that's not to shame anyone, but it speaks to something that I hope with the work that I've been doing publicly does.
06:09It tells you where to get help and it tells you it's okay to get help.
06:12So the warning signs are very much clear.
06:15It's usually a mood change.
06:17So if you're normally happy go lucky or, you know, engaging and you feel down and sad, that's the first indication that you probably are experiencing trouble and then changes with functioning.
06:27You're not sleeping well, you're not eating the same.
06:30But again, I think black women should seek therapy before they get to the point of exhaustion, because sometimes those warning signs we've already hacked.
06:39We know how to work when we're exhausted.
06:41We know how to show up in that.
06:42But it's time for us to be soft and own up to that part of us, too.
06:46Right.
06:47Living the soft life.
06:49It can be done, especially for black women.
06:52And to your point, I think it's important to slow down, ground ourselves and practice mindfulness to be able to take some self inventory and figure out, okay, what's wrong?
07:04What's some issues that I can help myself or seeking professional help?
07:09Yes, yes.
07:10We do not have to only be strong.
07:12We do not have to wait until we're exhausted.
07:15Think of therapy as an opportunity for maintenance.
07:18Right.
07:19And there are a lot of resources to even get it for free.
07:21Right.
07:22Okay.
07:23And you hear that maintenance, like you get your hair done, you get your nails done.
07:26Our minds and our bodies and our spirits need maintenance as well.
07:31And it's time to really tap into that.
07:33Yes.
07:34Another part of self care for me personally is boundaries.
07:39Okay.
07:40I mean, deep boundaries.
07:43So this is a word that's become staple in our mental health community recently.
07:48What does this word mean to you and why is it important for you for us to understand boundaries for ourselves?
07:55Well, I love that this is a part of our working language.
07:59I think it's something that can be very difficult for many people.
08:03But again, thinking about black women, especially boundaries can be incredibly hard.
08:08I'll go into the definition, but I'm emphasizing this because again, it's important that we start to generate these conversations so that we know that there are things that we can change in our life.
08:18Right.
08:19So think of boundaries as a little bit of distance that you're creating between yourself and something that you feel like you have to do.
08:27And that distance is where you get an opportunity to think and make choices without feeling like you're being hurried or making them because someone else says this is what you have to do.
08:37Right.
08:38Right. So boundaries are there to protect you.
08:41Boundaries, for example, can help me to be a mom and a doctor and someone who has a public, you know, sort of level of work because I don't have to do everything.
08:51Boundaries allow me to decide what feels right for me.
08:55And sometimes it doesn't feel great to turn down opportunities.
08:58But I know in order to show up for my children, to show up for my patients, I have to say, learn how to say no.
09:04So at the end of the day, boundaries is about limit setting in order to protect and preserve yourself.
09:10And it's important because by setting boundaries, we are protecting our mental health so that hopefully you aren't going to see a therapist when you're already exhausted and burnt out.
09:20You're going to see a therapist so you can work through something from your past or work through something that you're going through, but not like I'm in need because I'm suffering so much right now.
09:29Does that make sense?
09:30It makes sense to me.
09:31It makes perfect sense, actually.
09:33And I always like to think of boundaries as allowing me to have the agency to navigate through my own life and prioritize certain things and put other things on the back burner to make sure that my wellness is intact.
09:49Yes.
09:50And I think sometimes people think boundaries is just no, no, no, or get away from me or I'm done with that.
09:56If you do it the right way, you're planning a little bit of because you know what gets in the way of your mood or what affects you negatively.
10:07You're kind of making these decisions over time.
10:11Example could be, you know, I'm not going to go to see my family for Thanksgiving because I know that that gives me a lot of anxiety or I have a lot of trouble with this particular on.
10:20I'm just making something up.
10:22But what I'm getting at is boundaries allow you to navigate life in a way that keeps your cup full because you cannot pour from an empty cup.
10:31Can we say that again?
10:34You cannot pour from an empty cup.
10:36And you have to think about boundaries as a way to keep your cup full so that you can continue blessing those around you every single day.
10:44It's work.
10:45It's work.
10:46Good work.
10:47Doing the good work for ourselves.
10:50That is very important.
10:52You recently shared a post on social media about the deep pressures of keeping up with the platforms.
10:59Like if you didn't post, did it actually happen?
11:02You know, FOMO or the joy of missing out.
11:06So why is this mentality dangerous to your mental health?
11:10And how do you suggest we manage that pressure, especially in this digital age?
11:15It's hard.
11:16I mean, a lot of time I'm like self ministering when I'm posting things on social media because I also personally feel like I want to share more.
11:25There's so many things I want to show.
11:26But then I'm thinking about what does this really mean for the bigger picture and my mental health, for example.
11:31So I'm preaching to myself, too.
11:33But the harms really lie in the fact that we don't really know what the outcome of long term social media use will be.
11:42The U.S. Surgeon General just released a report warning our teens.
11:46So parents, you know, caretakers out there, keep in mind social media.
11:51We know the more time you spend on it, the more likely you are to report symptoms of depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts.
11:58So the point I made with that post was hopefully creating space for someone to feel less pressure about sharing what they did on this platform because there's so many other ways to share.
12:10You can upload the picture and send it to your loved one directly.
12:13That could generate a connection and conversation, right, that social media doesn't really get you.
12:17You get likes, you get comments, you might respond, you might not.
12:20But if you send that picture to your mother or to someone else that you really love and care about and they say, oh, my God, look, there's a whole other bit of conversation that comes.
12:29Pull out an old Polaroid or something and take a picture, create, you know, opportunities to look back at photos in a different way.
12:36So what I'm hoping is that people understand that while social media feels like it's everything, it shouldn't be the only way that we engage because it is harmful.
12:45We do know that and young people are struggling right now because of it.
12:49So it's OK to let it go.
12:51You have to post everything.
12:53Your baby girl, speaking of young people, just celebrated her first birthday.
13:00In this world, your daughter is growing up in.
13:03What advice do you have for parents protecting their peace for their children, especially for the next generation of black women?
13:11Oh, so much pressure there.
13:13Let me think.
13:14I'm still new to this.
13:16I'm a new mother, but I do have the privilege of having, you know, a background in mental health.
13:21I think for me, it's going to start with really advising my children to stay off of social media.
13:26So this previous question was a great segue because it is harmful.
13:30We know that.
13:31And it also can contribute to changes in how young people feel about their body.
13:36It also could contribute to some, you know, inappropriate behavior.
13:40So for me, that's important to really try to generate a life that they aren't really required or feel like they have to be on social media.
13:48But it's also about creating, I think, a safe space at home.
13:51So I'm very privileged to have an amazing husband.
13:53He's with our children right now, so I could be here.
13:56That really fosters allowing our children to grow up as themselves, knowing that if there's anything that ever comes up, that we're here supporting and loving them.
14:04And I think if parents can do that, I think that's a great start.
14:08I have some wonderful friends who are in the audience here with their beautiful children.
14:12I get to also lend my hand in being a part of a community.
14:16So I think that's also important, the advice that we give to parents.
14:19It's a village.
14:20You don't have to do it alone.
14:21Look for advice from those around you, your parents, if you're privileged and lucky to have them around.
14:26But it's all about just creating a space, I think, an environment for them to talk and be comfortable with those feelings and emotions.
14:33And that's what we're trying to do already.
14:35I explain to my three-year-old all the time things that I want him to understand the why, but I also want him to understand how things make others feel.
14:43And I think that would help him to be a greater person in the world one day, too.
14:48Right.
14:49And lead with empathy and compassion.
14:51Yes.
14:52And that's so important.
14:53It's what more of the world needs today.
14:55And to wrap up this beautiful conversation, I think our three takeaways would be prioritize self-care and wellness, but also seek therapy if you are going through a mental health crisis or just for maintenance and for a tune-up.
15:11Are there anything else that you want to mention?
15:14I think the other piece I would add is, you know, show up for yourself every single day.
15:19And I think that's also a part of what these conversations today hopefully brought forward to people.
15:24But by putting yourself first, you can always return to yourself.
15:28You can always return to love.
15:30Right.
15:31And that's all I'll add.
15:32And you can always return home to you.
15:35Dr. Jess, thank you so much for sharing your insight with us today.
15:38And thank you all in the audience for joining us.
15:41Hold tight for more on the Essence stage.
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