- 8 hours ago
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00:00At least it says live.
00:19Evan, I had to adjust my seat.
00:23Live.
00:23Am I good?
00:24Yeah, you'll be fine.
00:25Your shot is, yeah, your shot's perfect.
00:28You're good.
00:28Okay, perfect.
00:58I told you it well, friends.
01:07Die, bro.
01:08I'm going to go.
01:10I'm going to go.
01:13I'm going to go.
01:14But if it's hard about me, I missed like two cups, so I could have made it a little bit better.
01:37I don't know if it was practical.
01:46It was a nail.
01:47A right-up, a right-up was kind of right after that.
01:52I remember the part I thought of where you're trying to scrape, and you're a violent, and you're like,
01:59Yo!
02:00Any classes?
02:02No, I'm in classes, who?
02:05I'm pretty sure in the classes, who do you like to do?
02:10I think you're better to do.
02:12I'm doing this in the air.
02:15I'm just ready to practice.
02:17I'm like, hard to respond.
02:21I'm ready to practice.
02:39I'm ready to practice.
02:44I'm ready to practice.
02:50Everything running on time?
02:52Yep.
02:53We are all good on our end.
02:55We'll have you in at 2 and out at 2.30.
02:58Yep.
02:59All good.
03:00How you doing?
03:01Only thing, just want to get this across before you guys start talking.
03:06Only real thing for you to keep in mind, Charlamagne, is live streaming is kind of tough when people are moving around a lot.
03:14So if you want to get up and move around the house or anything, if you could just sit tight, that'd be perfect.
03:20Okay.
03:21All right.
03:22Cool.
03:23Other than that, we are all good.
03:26So, Charlie, I will see you next time at about six minutes.
03:33All right.
03:34Looking forward to it.
03:35All right.
03:36Cool.
03:37It still says live, Ethan.
03:50Are we in standby mode?
03:52Yeah.
03:53You guys are fine.
03:54Don't worry about it.
03:55You're going to go into standby mode in just a second.
03:57Okay.
03:58Just want to be sure so I'll know the queue.
03:59Yep.
04:00Yep.
04:01You're good.
04:02See you soon.
04:03All right.
04:04All right.
04:05Great.
04:27Bye.
04:28Bye.
04:29Bye.
04:57Bye.
04:58Bye.
04:59Bye.
05:00Bye.
05:01Bye.
05:02Bye.
05:11Whoo.
05:12Oh, hey, Charlamagne!
05:13Yes, sir?
05:14Is there any way that you can move somewhere where the window isn't going into your camera?
05:21The window behind?
05:22Yeah.
05:23It's just the light from the window behind you is going into the camera.
05:25Oh, okay.
05:27If you just turned around, you'd be great, if possible.
05:48Perfect.
05:49Thanks, man.
05:49Appreciate it.
05:50All good.
05:54All right.
05:54Back to that intro, and then we'll be in in three minutes.
05:57Okay.
05:58All set.
05:58All set.
06:24All set.
06:25All set.
06:34Oh yeah
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08:38Hi, welcome back everyone.
09:02My name is Charlie Penn.
09:03I am the relationships and wellness director here at Essence.
09:06I know that right now, staying sane feels impossible.
09:10It's like the hardest thing to do.
09:12So we invited mental health advocate, best-selling author, star radio and TV personality, Charlamagne
09:17the God.
09:18Charlamagne, hi.
09:19How are you?
09:20Hi, Holly.
09:21How are you?
09:22Welcome.
09:23I'm trying.
09:24That's what I've been telling people.
09:25I'm trying.
09:26How are you?
09:27I am blessed black and highly favored.
09:29I love it.
09:30How are you doing right now?
09:32How are you feeling as someone who's been very open about their journey with anxiety and
09:37stress and mental health?
09:39How are you coping?
09:40Because seriously, we know these are unprecedented times.
09:43You know, strangely, I haven't had any panic attacks about this situation.
09:51I haven't had real heavy anxiety about this situation.
09:54I think probably because a few weeks ago, for the first time I read Seven Spiritual Laws
10:01of Success by Deepak Chopra, and that's a book that my homegirl, Debbie Brown, has always
10:07been telling me to read.
10:08She told me it changed her life, and so I was actually listening to it on Audible, and
10:12then I ordered it off Amazon to read, and it's this law, number six is the law of detachment,
10:17and in there, he talks about just leaning into the uncertainty of life and leaning into
10:24the uncertainty of certain situations, and for me, I'm just leaning into the uncertainty
10:30of all of this.
10:31You know, I think the thing with anxiety, right, a lot of times, anxiety comes from irrational
10:37thoughts.
10:38You could be laying on your couch, and the ceiling fan could be going too fast, and you
10:42automatically think that the ceiling fan is going to fly off and cut your head off, or
10:46you watch the news, and you see something happen to someone on the news, and you think
10:51it's going to happen to you.
10:51I can remember one time in particular when it was that guy in Texas who was mailing people
10:57packages, and they would open the packages and things would explode, and so for a couple
11:01of weeks, I was like, yo, don't touch nothing that comes to the house.
11:04So, to me, that's like, that's all kind of, that's kind of irrational anxiety, like a little
11:11bit, like for me, this situation right here, I think we're supposed to have a little bit
11:17of fear.
11:18Absolutely.
11:19I think we're supposed to have like that fear of the unknown, you know, this is a place
11:24that we've never been before, and they always say human beings fear what they don't understand.
11:29A lot of us just, most of us don't understand what's going on in the world right now.
11:34So, to kind of have anxiety over this situation, I totally understand it, but I personally don't
11:41have it because I'm just leaning into the uncertainty of it all.
11:46I'm expecting the unexpected, I'm preparing for the worst, I hate to say it like that,
11:52I hate to sound like, you know, Debbie Downer, but I am, I'm preparing for the worst, so I'm
11:58saying all that to say I'm maintaining.
12:00It's interesting that you said, you know, sometimes you have to just go with it, because
12:03I know that's advice they often tell people when you're feeling anxiety or fear, you have
12:09to kind of give into it.
12:10Can you talk a little bit about that?
12:12Because I don't think a lot of people have ever felt this much fear and anxiety, so they don't
12:16even know where to start.
12:17Yeah, and you know, that's the kind of stuff that pisses you off when your therapist tells
12:20you that, right?
12:21Because your therapist will tell you that, and you'll be like, I'm paying you $150 an
12:24hour just to tell me that, yeah, lean into it, you know?
12:27That is it, right.
12:28But this is one of those things that is so totally out of our control, you know what I
12:33mean?
12:33Like, this is so totally out of our control that the only choice we really do have is
12:40to lean into it, lean into the uncertainty of it all.
12:43Yes, this is turmoil.
12:45This is confusion.
12:46This is problems.
12:47But somewhere in those problems, I think there's going to be a solution.
12:52You know, I got to think about what the other side is going to look like.
12:55I think coming out of this, I think we're going to be dealing with a totally different
12:58society.
12:59Everybody keeps talking about they want things to go back to normal.
13:02Nah, clearly normal wasn't working.
13:05I don't think normal can happen after this.
13:07It'll be different.
13:08Normal was an illusion.
13:10Normal was an illusion that we tell ourselves in order to make ourselves feel better about,
13:16you know, the country that we live in, about the current state of human beings.
13:21But I mean, if you notice, you know, they talk about the economy being so strong.
13:25It only took two weeks, you know, for the economy to be at its knees.
13:29You know, you talk about the health care system.
13:31We always knew the health care system was pretty trash, but we always looked at it from
13:34the perspective of people don't have health insurance.
13:37But no, our health care system is actually trash.
13:40You know why?
13:41Because America spends too much money on the military when they should be putting some
13:45of that money into our hospitals.
13:47You know, it's a shame that it's more, you know, prisons and jails in America than it is
13:51actual hospitals.
13:53It's a shame that these people have to go into these, you know, these nurses and these
13:57health care workers have to go into this hospital and they don't have the proper equipment.
14:01So they don't even feel safe.
14:02You know, they're dealing with their own anxiety.
14:04They're supposed to be helping us.
14:07But it's like, you know, they're still human at the end of the day.
14:10And, you know, it's all about self-preservation.
14:12So I can't help you if I'm afraid and we haven't properly equipped our people.
14:18So I think it's perfectly fine if everybody's anxious right now.
14:23I think it's perfectly okay if everybody's afraid right now.
14:27Like everybody keeps saying, we're all in this together.
14:30And I think it's so important that we keep reiterating that it's not just happening to
14:33you or to me.
14:35It's happening to all of us.
14:36But for the people, I mean, who a lot of people maybe have experienced stress or anxiety and
14:42haven't acknowledged it, or some people haven't until now.
14:45Can you talk a little bit about maybe just the signs that people should look out for?
14:49Like if this is new to them, what are some signs that you really need to stop internalizing
14:53the fear and the anxiety and just chill?
14:59It's going to be crazy.
15:00It's going to make it's going to sound crazy because it sounds like Corona symptoms, right?
15:04Shortness of breath.
15:05You know what I'm saying?
15:06Most of the time when you have anxiety attacks, it all feels like it's in your respiratory
15:10system.
15:11It feels like you can't breathe.
15:13You know, your heart is going to start beating really fast.
15:16You know, your palms might start sweating.
15:18You're going to start having all of these irrational thoughts, you know, and it's almost
15:22like, you know, when you're on a treadmill and you're running and all of a sudden you're
15:26working up that sweat and your heart starts beating real fast and crazy and you just can't
15:30wait to get off that treadmill.
15:31When is it going to stop?
15:32You know, the difference is I can press stop on the treadmill, you know, or I can keep
15:37going, you know, running through the pain.
15:39You know, with anxiety, you don't even really know what's triggering it.
15:43So that's what makes it so hard to turn off.
15:46But I think in this situation, we know what's triggering it.
15:48What's triggering it is the fact that we're in an unprecedented time right now.
15:53The fact that we're all going through something that we've never gone through before.
15:57You know, you might be in a situation where you just got laid off or you got furloughed,
16:02you know, and you don't know where your next, you know, meal is coming from.
16:07You know, today is the first.
16:09Today is the first.
16:09Some people have rent due.
16:12Thank you for a lot of people.
16:14Yeah.
16:14And a lot of places, you know, they've suspended rent, you know, and a lot of places they've
16:18suspended mortgages, but in a lot of places they haven't, you know, and if you just got
16:23laid off, if you just got furloughed and, you know, now is the first, man, that's got
16:27to be a very stressful, stressful time.
16:30And the fact that you don't know when all of this is going to be over.
16:33See, it's different when it's like a natural disaster, right?
16:35Like if it's like an earthquake or a hurricane, we know the beginning, we know the middle.
16:42We usually know how that ends with this.
16:44We don't know what that ending is going to look like, you know?
16:47So I would just tell everybody for those who have never experienced anxiousness or, you
16:53know what, they might have even have a handle on it because even if they do have those, those
16:57feelings I just described, they know exactly where it's coming from and, and, and why, why
17:02they're having it.
17:03And like I said, like I, my therapist tells me you got to feel your feels, right?
17:08You know, it's perfect.
17:09All these, all these emotions are normal.
17:11Like nothing that I promise you, there's nothing you're feeling right now.
17:14That is not normal.
17:17Absolutely.
17:17And you know, it's interesting.
17:19We bring up triggers for me.
17:20I've learned just in the last two weeks, the news is an actual trigger for me.
17:25So I'm going with playlists, other things and trying to just limit to watching it once a day.
17:31That's me personally.
17:32But what are some tactics of tactics that you've learned with your, you know, ongoing situation,
17:37battles, things you've learned just to help you cope, big or small?
17:42For me, reading is always a great escape.
17:47Music is always a great escape.
17:49You know, you can never lose with Mary J. Blige, my life album, because you put on that, be happy immediately.
17:58It's like, it's like chanting to yourself over and over.
18:00All I really want is to be happy.
18:02You know, you're saying that to yourself repeatedly.
18:03And as she's singing to you, when she's telling you, like, life is too short, you know, like you start really realizing that, like, yo, let me enjoy the moment.
18:12Let me get back to center.
18:14Breathing exercises are really good for me as well.
18:16You know, I'm not the greatest meditator.
18:20It's very hard for me to, like, turn completely off.
18:23I'm getting better at it, though, because of this place I've visited called Inception in Farmington, Michigan.
18:32And they do, like, float therapy and they have, like, the brain training, you know, the neurological training where you just sit in a zero gravity chair and you just, like, zone out.
18:42So it's helped me to realize what stillness really is.
18:46So being that I've experienced stillness before, it's kind of, it's kind of, it makes it easier for me to get there when I'm, like, just doing regular meditation.
18:54But the music, the breathing, the meditation, and honestly, man, just talking to somebody.
19:00You know, if you can't get your therapist, first of all, I want to salute all of the mental health care workers.
19:06You know, the physical health care workers are getting a lot of praise right now, and they absolutely should.
19:10They're superheroes.
19:11But salute to all the psychiatrists, all the therapists, all the, you know, sacred purpose coaches, the spiritual advisors, the counselors who are available via FaceTime, who are available via Skype, Zoom, you know, who are available via phone for their patients right now.
19:28You know, because to me, that's, that's all it takes sometimes, just reaching out to somebody and having that conversation.
19:34Hopefully you're quarantined with somebody that you like talking to.
19:39Fingers crossed.
19:39And if you're not, you know, the phone still works.
19:44You know, there's no social distancing with the phone.
19:47You can still reach out and talk to your people.
19:50And I think this is the time where we all are supposed to not just check on our strong friends, but check on our friends, period.
19:55Just hit people up.
19:57Yeah.
19:58And ask them how they're doing.
19:59But when you ask them how they're doing, be ready for that response.
20:03Because that response might be heavy.
20:05It might be good.
20:06Yeah.
20:06Yeah.
20:07It might be heavy.
20:08And if it's heavy, guess what?
20:09You were the person in that moment that God sent to this person to talk to.
20:14And you're the person that that person needs in that moment.
20:17So when you ask somebody how they're doing and they tell you and it's heavy, you just better be prepared to listen.
20:24Because that's all that person probably needs in that moment.
20:26Absolutely.
20:27And I think there's a lot of people.
20:28So I'm glad that you brought up therapy, Charlamagne, because as we know, it's a very positive experience for anyone dealing with mental health issues or struggles or anxiety.
20:37You've said it saved your life.
20:39And I think there's still a lot of people who haven't tried it, even though you can get it right on your mobile device.
20:44You can see a therapist right now after this summit if you need to talk to somebody.
20:48So what would you say to people who've never tried therapy as an option just to have someone to talk to in case they don't?
20:55Oh, man.
20:56I would tell you that you're missing out.
20:58And the reason you're missing out, and, you know, this is an example I love to use, an analogy I love to use.
21:04It's like having a real junky closet.
21:07And trust me, I know about junky closets.
21:08I'm at the crib right now.
21:09My wife makes me an hour a day.
21:12My wife makes me clean up.
21:14Like, literally, I got to just organize this junky-ass closet I got.
21:18And it's like you got all of these clothes thrown all over the place.
21:21You got sneakers all over the place.
21:23And what therapy is to me, it's like you're going in and you're organizing things.
21:28And the things that you don't need anymore, you're getting rid of.
21:33And the things you want to keep, you fold up nice and neat, you hang them up, you know where they're at.
21:40And now you got room to bring new things into your closet.
21:45And to me, that's what therapy is.
21:47I mean, you know, for me, I wish I started going to therapy when I was much, much, much, much younger.
21:51Because, you know, you find yourself at, you know, I started going, I was like 38, 39.
21:56So you find yourself now, I'm 41 now.
22:01I'm unpacking 38 years of baggage, you know.
22:05Yeah.
22:06Even over the past few years, just realizing new things about myself, realizing triggers that I never even knew I had.
22:14You know, dealing with trauma that I never even knew I had, you know, things that I thought I already had buried, you know, or things that I subconsciously or maybe even consciously buried because I didn't want to deal with them.
22:32You know, I just wasn't strong enough at the time to deal with those things.
22:37I didn't have anybody to show me how to deal with those things.
22:40I didn't have the tools and the resources available to me that I have now in order to deal with a lot of those traumas, you know.
22:47And so as you get older, you know, you're sitting in your therapist's office and you realize it exactly why you act certain ways at certain times or why certain things set you off or why you have certain relationships with people, good or bad.
23:05And it usually stems to some type of childhood trauma.
23:10And I also think that helps you as you get older with your ego, right?
23:16Because a lot of us, we operate from a space of a wounded ego.
23:22And that wounded ego usually stems from childhood, you know, that inner child that's in you is hurt, you know, because he didn't deal with some things when he was younger.
23:34Or some things happened to him when he was younger that he hasn't dealt with.
23:36So now you're older and you're projecting that that inner wounded child upon people.
23:42And that's where, like, the ego comes from, because you don't want people to really see you.
23:48Absolutely.
23:49That's another thing about this quarantine.
23:51This quarantine is making a lot of us see ourselves for the first time and deal with the reality of ourselves.
23:59Like, you know, I don't got no haircuts, the beard is coming in, the grades are showing, the hairline.
24:06My hairline is social distancing from my forehead.
24:09Oh, my hairline is social distancing from my forehead.
24:11You know, my wife is showing me her nails and how she needs to get her nails done.
24:15Like, it's just we're all having to see ourselves for the first time.
24:18But that's just all physical stuff.
24:19I'm talking about the inner you a lot of us are having to deal with.
24:24Because we don't have nothing but time to sit down and reflect about where we are.
24:30And I think facing our time, because we have the time to do the work right now.
24:34We really do.
24:35We have no choice.
24:37Yes.
24:38Yes.
24:38And I think I don't want to say facing our mortality.
24:45Because we know this disease is fatal.
24:47The mortality rate isn't extremely high, but we see people dying from it.
24:52For me, one person is one too many.
24:53Right.
24:54So if it's the chance that you could possibly pass away from this disease, to me, it's fatal.
24:59It's dire to me.
25:01Right.
25:01So when you're staring at that and you're in the house and you don't know what's next, you don't know what to expect, you really do start questioning yourself.
25:12Like, have I lived the life that I wanted to live?
25:15If I was to go right now, what kind of legacy would I leave behind?
25:18If I was to go right now, where would I go?
25:21We don't know what's after this, you know?
25:24So it really does make you do a lot of soul searching.
25:27And it really just makes you, you know, really start digging deep into yourself and just, you know, really asking yourself those hard questions like, am I living the life that I want to live?
25:39Am I living the life that God wants me to live?
25:41And if I make it through this, what am I going to do moving forward?
25:45Am I going to go back to the old ways or I'm going to really level up and be the divine human being that I know God created us to be?
25:56I've heard a lot of my friends, family, people, colleagues just talking about the growth and like you said, what's coming out on the other side.
26:04And that's a very positive thing, right, that we can all focus on right now to combat that worry.
26:10I want to talk to you, Charlamagne.
26:11You're a husband, a father.
26:13How are you talking to your children about fear and anxiety and worry?
26:18Well, you know, the crazy thing is kids put things in perspective for you, right, because kids don't really live with the worry and the fears that we do, you know, because they don't have the same responsibilities.
26:33Right.
26:34So it's just like my daughter's 11, my other daughter's four, my other daughter's one.
26:38One year old doesn't know what's going on.
26:40She just she just won.
26:42You know, my four year old, she has this little song.
26:44She starts singing, go away, coronavirus, go away, go away, coronavirus, go away.
26:48Only reason I know she even knows what what it is, because I'm the one watching CNN all the time while she hears me and her mom talking about it, hears me on the phone about it.
26:56My 11 year old is just cool and calm.
27:00Like her mindset is like, I can't wait till this is over so I can get to my cheerleading competition that got postponed, you know, you know, she was talking about, you know, going back to school.
27:10And the reason that is good, because she's kind of looking at the other side, like in her mind, through the eyes of an 11 year old, this too shall pass.
27:21And that's how we all feel, right?
27:24Absolutely.
27:24We should all feel like that.
27:25We should all feel like this too shall pass.
27:28We shouldn't feel like, you know, this is the end.
27:31You know, for me, this is a this is like a new beginning.
27:35Absolutely.
27:35It can be.
27:36It should be.
27:38I was looking at something Bishop T.D.
27:39Jake said I should have pulled it up already, but it was on his Instagram.
27:45And I thought this was so good.
27:48Hold on, I'm going to pull it up right here.
27:49I thought it was so good.
27:50And it put a lot of things in perspective.
27:52He said to those of you that live in areas that have restricted our ability to mingle and you've been wise enough to comply.
28:00This is a great time to pray, plan and prepare whatever is on the other side of this required, complete global disruption.
28:08Many people are just waiting for normal to return.
28:11But disruptions come to liberate you from what was and to prepare you for what's next.
28:17And I believe it.
28:18What's next?
28:19Absolutely.
28:20And he said that there's going to be bankruptcies and billionaires born out of this experience.
28:25There'll be bitter divorces and couples who fall back in love because of this experience.
28:30There'll be leaders who win the hearts of their people by fighting for their best interests.
28:34There'll be others whose cowardice or narcissism will destroy the equilibrium of your organization.
28:40And then he just asks a simple question, which one are you?
28:43And I believe that.
28:44I believe that adversity either breaks people or it causes people to break records.
28:54And I want to be one of those people that breaks records.
28:58I appreciate the positive vibes and the inspo you're giving us right now.
29:02And there are a lot of people who have sent in questions for you.
29:05So let's try to get through a few of them.
29:07Let's do it.
29:08Charlie, there's a lot of pressure to hustle, hustle, hustle right now because we have more
29:12time and we need to make money.
29:14How do you handle that pressure?
29:16And when do you feel most productive?
29:20When do I feel most productive?
29:23That's a very interesting question.
29:26I think our idea of productivity has to change at a time like this because everybody talk about
29:33hustling, hustling, hustling.
29:34I even said today I feel like I'm in back-to-back meetings because luckily I get up,
29:38and I'm able to do the Breakfast Club right here from my house.
29:40So I do the Breakfast Club and then like an hour later I did my podcast and then an hour
29:47later I'm here, you know, doing this with Essence.
29:50And then later on I'm doing my podcast live with Angela Rye on Instagram.
29:54And so it's just like, I'm going to be honest with you, that don't necessarily make me feel
29:58productive at a time like this.
30:00It just makes me feel busy.
30:01You know, true production to me is just trying to figure out what all of this is about.
30:08Like being still is being productive to me because I feel like that's what God wants us to do right
30:14now.
30:14I feel like we're all praying and we all want to be heard, but God already knows what's going on.
30:21God is the architect, the all-knowing being.
30:24We're not telling him nothing new.
30:25Imagine you getting on your knees, praying to God, telling him about everything that's going on in
30:29your life as if he don't already know or she don't already know, you know?
30:33So this is one of those times where we should just listen.
30:35I feel like I'm the most productive when I'm actually just sitting down, not doing anything
30:41and really just connecting with the universe, connecting with God and listening to what it is
30:47God is trying to tell us in this present moment.
30:52I honestly can say that's when I feel the most productive.
30:55That's when I feel the most productive.
30:56That can be a great time for creators, right?
30:59Like when you're a creator and you create content, that stillness and that time with
31:03yourself, like you were saying, that's when beautiful ideas and great content can come
31:07about.
31:08Absolutely.
31:09And I agree with you, but I would also say if you're one of those people who are listening
31:14to everybody talk about being creative, but you're so full of anxiety and, you know,
31:20even depression that you don't feel like being creative in this moment, that's fine too.
31:24So lean into your feelings, embrace all of that, accept all that, and then say to yourself,
31:30now what?
31:32Now that you've accepted that you're anxious, now that you've accepted that you're depressed,
31:36what are you going to do with it?
31:37I would tell you to keep a journal.
31:39I think some beautiful writing can come from all of this.
31:42I saw something that Rico Love and TI were doing on Instagram where they were telling people,
31:47they gave people like ideas for a story.
31:49And the story is based around this pandemic.
31:52And they said, write your story.
31:54And I think that's what a lot of people should be doing right now.
31:56You know, write your story, keep a journal, you know, take note of all of these different
32:01feelings, you know, dig deep within yourself.
32:04I think now too, this is a time where a lot of people are going to find that gift that God
32:12blessed us with, you know, because I think since the purpose is that one thing that will
32:18always motivate you, that will always make you feel productive.
32:21Like for me, I know if you was to ask me, what's my purpose?
32:24I would tell you that I think my purpose is the work that I'm doing right now.
32:27And it's work that I just stumbled upon by doing the work on myself, which is, you know,
32:33being an advocate for mental health, you know, encouraging brothers to go out there
32:38and get that healing that you need and deserve.
32:42So for me, that's what I feel like my purpose is.
32:44So I feel like everybody has a purpose.
32:46It doesn't, it's not, it's something that's necessarily attached to a talent.
32:50It's not something that's attached to gaining some sort of celebrity.
32:53It's just a purpose that you have that's greater than you.
32:59And it all began with sharing your truth.
33:01Okay.
33:02The next question, as a black man, as black men who are traditionally known and seen
33:08as providers with many out of work, how would you, how would you suggest they still
33:12contribute and stay sane?
33:15Ooh, that's a great question.
33:18Um, I was reading this morning about the domestic violence rates going up all over the world,
33:24you know, and police in America, um, saying that they feel like they're afraid that domestic
33:30violence is going to be on the rise because people are self-quarantined, you know, with the
33:34significant others.
33:35Sometimes.
33:36Yeah.
33:36Sometimes they're a loser and, you know, an abuser, a loser, abuser, same thing.
33:42And, and, you know, they can't get away from this person.
33:45And I was sitting down saying like, yo man, if I was a man who lost their job and I was
33:51with a woman nine times out of 10, she probably lost her job too.
33:55So when we talk about really being in this together, we're really in this together.
33:59So what I would do is I would just provide emotional support.
34:04I would provide, you know, spiritual support, mental support.
34:08Like, you know, y'all two have to be each other's crutches.
34:12You know, you can't reject your anger and, and, and your insecurities on that woman because
34:18you lost your job.
34:19You know, what if you're a brother who lost his job, but she still has her job?
34:23You should be happy that you got a queen who can hold it down for you financially until,
34:30you know, all of this is over and, and, and y'all get back to a better place.
34:34Like, I just think you a complete sucker if you lose your job and, and, and you're upset
34:40and you take your aggression out on, on a, on a woman just because you're mad.
34:47Like, what does she do to you?
34:50Do you know what I'm saying?
34:51Like, the emotional foundation, give back in that way.
34:56Yeah.
34:56Let's say our job is to protect and provide.
34:58We look at that sometimes and we think guns and money.
35:01As a man, you got to know how to shoot a gun.
35:03You got to know how to fight and you got to have money to provide financially.
35:07No, protecting is protecting your, your significant other and your children's emotional, mental
35:13and spiritual wellbeing.
35:15Providing is providing the things that they need in order to be emotionally strong, to
35:21be mentally strong, to be spiritually strong.
35:24You know, that's what being the foundation of your household is all about.
35:29So if you can't provide financially, man, I just pray that you've got a woman who's not
35:33just there with you for your finances.
35:36And I pray that you're able to just provide that woman with just some emotional stability
35:40and, and, and spiritual stability and mental stability.
35:43I hope that y'all are pouring into each other right now.
35:47Absolutely.
35:48I love these answers.
35:49Okay.
35:50Next question.
35:51Charlamagne, do you have any suggestions on how black men can help and lean on each other
35:55during this time?
35:56Charlamagne, yeah.
35:58Um, it's the same thing I tell brothers all the time, like in order to eradicate the stigma
36:05around mental health, around what is masculinity, you know, brothers just have to start being
36:13vulnerable.
36:14That's one thing that, you know, therapy helped me to do.
36:18I could, I was, I was always transparent.
36:19I could always tell you about my life and tell you about things that are going on in my
36:23life, but I could never tell you how those things make me feel.
36:25I would tell all my brothers out there, don't be afraid to talk about how things are making
36:28you feel with your brothers, man.
36:31You know what I'm saying?
36:31And it takes situations like this because all of us are in the same boat, you know, this
36:38isn't one of those times where something is happening just personally to you, you know,
36:45this is happening to all your brothers.
36:47You know what I mean?
36:47So, so now was the time, yeah, now was the time to have those conversations the same way
36:51we, we cried and we spoke about, you know, our anxiety and our fears when the late great
36:57Nipsey Hussle got taken away from us last year, you know, or the same way we cried and
37:02talked about our fears when Kobe Bryant got taken away this year.
37:06It's like, we got to have that same conversation with each other now.
37:11Like it's per, it's perfectly okay to be vulnerable.
37:13It's perfectly okay to tell your brother, you might be afraid right now.
37:17It's perfectly okay to tell your brother, you might be depressed.
37:19Like if that's your brother, you can have that conversation with him without him judging
37:24you.
37:25Absolutely.
37:26Okay.
37:27Last question.
37:28Our circle can serve as our support system or our obstacle.
37:32How can, how we control our peace when living in an unsupported environment?
37:36How can we do that?
37:37Especially during a time like this when we can't go anywhere else.
37:42Wow, man.
37:43I'm going to be honest with you.
37:44You have to reevaluate your circle and, and, and, and, and coming out of this, you might
37:50need a whole new circle.
37:51If that's the way your circle is making you feel because I've been blessed enough to have
37:57had obstacles and have, have had adversity in my life, even over the past few years.
38:02And I really realized who was down for me.
38:05I really realized who my circle of trust was.
38:08So maybe that's why a situation like this could be potentially happening to you to let
38:13you know, man, that circle you got, it's, it's, it's not really a circle at all.
38:18It's a circular firing squad.
38:20And you know, all of y'all are shooting at each other as opposed to, you know, lifting
38:24each other up and empowering each other.
38:26So man, if you're, if you're, if you're in a situation where you even got to question
38:30your circle at a time like this, maybe that's one of the things God is showing you right
38:34now that you might need to change your circle.
38:37Absolutely.
38:38And just refresh.
38:41Charlamine, it is everything has to happen over.
38:46We have to dig, like you said, go in, see what's in there, sit with it.
38:51We're all in this together.
38:53And speaking of that, thank you for taking the time today to share with us, to be open
38:57with us, to be vulnerable, to talk to the community.
39:00We appreciate you.
39:02I appreciate you.
39:03Thank you, Charlamine.
39:05Take care.
39:06Peace and blessings.
39:08You too.
39:33Peace and blessings.
39:34Peace and blessings.
39:35Peace and blessings.
39:36Peace and blessings.
39:37Peace and blessings.
39:38Peace and blessings.
39:39Peace and blessings.
39:40Peace and blessings.
39:41Peace and blessings.
39:42Peace and blessings.
40:03is this supposed to be my social security number because that's not it no that's actually the
40:29amount you owe for your four years here at cal u student loans have skyrocketed i am on a strict
40:35bologna cup of noodle diet for the next rest of my life but freeform and essence want to help
40:42we're paying off 150 000 in student debt and sending the winners to essence fest
40:47so before you go here college who needs it go here and enter for your chance to win spread the word
40:59so
41:06so
41:11so
41:18Hi, this is Reverend Al Sharpton.
41:33I am so godly proud that National Action Network has partnered with the World Central Kitchen
41:43to provide prepackaged food to people during this coronavirus pandemic.
41:53Faith without works is a dead thing.
41:55People don't just need us to pray for them, we need to serve them.
42:01And what I'm excited about is when they came, worked with our leadership in New York,
42:09and then went into New Jersey with Rev. Steffi Bartley and the former Governor McGrady,
42:16and went from Newark into Irvington with Rev. Amir.
42:22This is blowing up to say that we want to be of help.
42:27So check out what NAN is doing along with this partnership,
42:33because we've got to realize that as people are shut down, they still need to eat.
42:39And some of them don't have to wear with all, so giving them prepackaged, checked out food
42:45is our way and our partnership to make things happen, even in a pandemic.
42:52And some of them don't have to be of help.
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