- 13 hours ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Satsang with Mooji
00:30What are you doing?
00:32I'm making the place ship-shape.
00:35Because after today, I probably won't be here.
00:38And don't be telling me you'll be dusting me alcoves,
00:40because I know you won't be.
00:41Death, please.
00:42No, don't.
00:43Don't, you'll set me off.
00:47That's better.
00:49Don't forget to dust me, you know.
00:53I'm just going to nip to the shot,
00:54because we've run out of, um...
00:57What's the word?
01:00You clean with it?
01:00Cloth.
01:02Sponges.
01:04Because I'm just going to tackle that bathroom now.
01:06You shouldn't be cleaning on a day like this.
01:08I need to keep busy, Ray.
01:13Ronnie.
01:30Oh, you're changing.
01:38Hey.
01:39Hi, Jack.
01:40You all right?
01:42Not really.
01:43Why?
01:43What's up?
01:44Is it your dad?
01:44I just can't be round him at the moment.
01:49I've moved him with Abby for a bit.
01:52When I told him, he totally flipped out.
01:55Oh, darling.
01:57I don't know what to do.
01:58I've never seen him like this.
02:00He's not in a good place at the minute.
02:03But he will get through this.
02:04I promise you.
02:05But how, though?
02:07You won't be here to help.
02:12I'm sorry.
02:13I shouldn't have said that.
02:15Hey, it's all right.
02:15You don't need to apologise.
02:18And listen, if I'm not here,
02:19who's the next best person for the job, eh?
02:22It's you.
02:23You got this?
02:25Just keep telling him everything's going to be all right.
02:29Show him how much you love him, yeah?
02:30Support him.
02:31Can you do that?
02:36I'll try.
02:37Of course you can.
02:38Anyway, I'd better get to school.
02:40Give us a move.
02:42Love you all the world.
02:44I love you too, yeah.
02:46It'll be all right.
02:48I'll come and visit you.
02:50Oh, yeah.
02:51You better add.
02:52See you later.
02:53See you, Jack.
02:55Feels like the clutch is going.
02:57OK.
02:58I'm heading up to the lakes tomorrow
03:00with my walking group, the Abel Amblers.
03:02I suggested to the Abel Amblers
03:04they take a trip to Ambleside.
03:06Right, well, I'll do it when I've got time.
03:09Can't you rush it through for me?
03:10A favour for a mate and all that?
03:12I'm busy.
03:13Oh, what if I paid a little extra?
03:15I've just said I'm busy.
03:17What was that?
03:19Water.
03:20There's a hole in the roof.
03:21Shouldn't you get it fixed?
03:22Oh, cheers, Brian.
03:23Hey, I hadn't thought about that.
03:25Oh, sorry.
03:26No, it's just a insurance company.
03:28Dragging the feet.
03:29No else I can do.
03:30At least put a bucket out.
03:32For heaven's sake, if you want a job doing...
03:39What about my clutch?
03:49Tara.
03:50She deserves all she gets.
03:53Why don't you mind your own business?
03:54Debbie's a good person and she's not well.
03:58She was drink driving and she killed someone.
04:05Hey.
04:06Hey.
04:07How is she?
04:10She called me Ray this morning.
04:12I know it was a slip-up.
04:14She knew it too, but it's because she is so terrified.
04:17Unless she's like this now.
04:19What's prison going to do to her?
04:20Out here, she's got people who love her.
04:23Familiarity.
04:24Routine.
04:25But if she goes inside, she...
04:27We'll lose her, you know?
04:31She'll lose herself.
04:32She...
04:32She'll forget who we all are.
04:36She'll buy it for time.
04:37I should never have let her get this far.
04:41What?
04:42What are you talking about?
04:44It's time.
04:47I fixed it.
04:49Fixed what?
04:51Leave it with me.
04:52Come in!
05:16What are you doing?
05:18There's a load of rubbish up here.
05:21Flaming kids must have climbed up at a party by the look of it.
05:24Well, sorry to hear that, but about my clutch...
05:26Shut up about your runny clutch!
05:31You're going to kill me!
05:33Yeah, well, that would have been a bonus.
05:36This is what my flaming life's come to.
05:39Rubbish.
05:40Endless, pointless mess.
05:44We really need to sort that grout out round Bath.
05:47I hate it when it goes off white round sedges.
05:49Yeah, I'll get someone I'm with Ed this afternoon.
05:51Listen, I just had the strangest conversation with Carl.
05:53What do you mean?
05:54Is there something he's not telling me?
05:55No, why?
05:56What did he say?
05:57He said he shouldn't have let it get this far
06:01and that he is going to fix it.
06:04Fix it?
06:05Fix what?
06:05What on earth is he talking about?
06:07Was Kevin right?
06:08Was he the one driving?
06:09No, will you stop saying that?
06:11Right, I'm going to speak to him.
06:14What did he mean then?
06:14I don't know, but I'll go and find out.
06:19Kevin, get down!
06:21No.
06:22We're worried about you!
06:24No, you're not.
06:25I'm not to do with you these days.
06:27I'm just a annoying ass.
06:29You've moved on.
06:31Same as I've had.
06:32I don't blame you.
06:33Neither of you.
06:34I'm a waste of space.
06:35Don't be silly.
06:37Even Jack's moved out.
06:39Can barely look at me.
06:41Can barely look at myself.
06:43All I see is a washed up failure of a man.
06:46You're certainly not a failure.
06:48You've got a moderately successful business.
06:52See if you can talk some sense into him.
06:55Kev, get your backside down here now.
06:59I was thinking something a little bit gentler.
07:01Kev, come down and buy us a pint, mate.
07:06All I do is mess up.
07:07Push away the people I love.
07:09I don't even know why I'm alive.
07:13Well, I'm out of my depth now.
07:22Kev!
07:23Wait!
07:25What are you doing?
07:26You weren't driving that car, Debs.
07:27I was.
07:28I'm going to hand myself in.
07:29You can't!
07:30Look, I'm sorry.
07:31But you were unconscious.
07:33And I put you in that driving seat after the crash.
07:35I took advantage of you.
07:36I let you believe that you killed Billy.
07:38No, you didn't.
07:38I did.
07:39And I thought I could let you go down for it, but I can't.
07:41I know you were driving that car.
07:44I always did.
07:46You what?
07:48Let me do this for you.
07:50Please.
07:52I want to protect you.
07:55Why, though?
07:56Why would you willingly go to prison for me?
07:59Does it matter?
07:59Yes, it matters.
08:00Telling the police.
08:03No.
08:03Cal.
08:04There's things I've done.
08:06Things I am.
08:07You don't understand.
08:09Nothing you say is going to stop me.
08:10You're my son.
08:15Yeah.
08:16You're my son.
08:17I hope you can talk some sense into him, cos nobody else is going to.
08:40Kev!
08:41Go away!
08:42I'm not going anywhere until you come down off that roof.
08:46Leave me alone.
08:47Right, I'm coming up.
08:50Not a dog's stupid, is he?
08:52Oh, I hope not.
08:54I figure this is my fault.
08:55How's this your fault?
08:57I pressured him into fixing a clutch.
08:59Brian, I don't think it's because of your clutch.
09:02What are you playing at?
09:08I said leave me alone.
09:10Tough.
09:16I hate seeing you like this.
09:18You don't care.
09:20Of course I do.
09:21You left me.
09:22I did.
09:25For a liar and a cheat.
09:27What are you after?
09:28Sympathy?
09:29No.
09:30I made me own bed and now I've got a lie in it.
09:35You know what?
09:38I could easily be the one angry at the world,
09:40chucking rubbish down.
09:45Maybe I'll join you.
09:48Oh!
09:49Ow!
09:50Damn it!
09:52We were living in Southampton.
10:00I was at college.
10:03Doing my hairdressing training.
10:06I'd just turned 17.
10:09Cocky.
10:10Confident.
10:11Thought I was invincible.
10:14Partying all the time.
10:16Then one night I...
10:20I met this tall, handsome boy.
10:22He took a fancy to me and that was that.
10:27I never saw him again.
10:32And I was pregnant.
10:33I just remembered Dad being really ashamed of me.
10:42Elaine was fuming.
10:44She kept shouting,
10:44you've ruined your life.
10:47I was so ashamed.
10:48she wanted me to have an abortion.
10:52She wanted me to have an abortion.
10:54And what did you want?
10:55Oh, I didn't want to get rid of you.
10:57I didn't...
10:58No.
11:02But I didn't know how to look after you.
11:04I was a child myself.
11:06We talked about adoption,
11:10but...
11:11the thought of never seeing you again.
11:17And then...
11:19Dad came up with
11:22what they thought at the time would be
11:24the perfect solution.
11:26him and Elaine would bring you up.
11:32As their own.
11:41Er...
11:41Does Kevin know?
11:44No.
11:47No, we never told him.
11:50We moved to Germany after that
11:52and, er...
11:53Kevin stayed here
11:54in Weatherfield.
11:55I know it sounds ridiculous now,
11:57but...
11:58Elaine thought it best.
11:59If we kept it to ourselves,
12:01the fewer people knew about it,
12:03the better.
12:04So you've been lying to your own brother
12:06all these years too.
12:07I thought you were close.
12:12We are.
12:14Hmm.
12:18It's complicated.
12:20It was of a time
12:20when you just brushed
12:21everything under carpet.
12:23The longer it went on,
12:24the...
12:25The harder it was
12:28to say anything
12:29and it just became the norm.
12:31And what did Elaine
12:32think about all this?
12:35I don't know.
12:36Hmm.
12:37I suppose,
12:43looking back now,
12:45she...
12:46She probably resented
12:48the fact that
12:49she had to share, Dad,
12:51after you came along.
12:54He thought the world of you.
12:55He doted on you.
12:57He used to say to me,
12:59you go off, Debbie.
12:59You live your life.
13:01We look after Carl.
13:04Don't you worry.
13:05We love him.
13:07I love him.
13:09Elaine loves him.
13:13But she didn't.
13:17She didn't.
13:18I would have taken you back.
13:25I know you would.
13:28But...
13:29Carl wasn't the problem
13:31in our marriage.
13:32I was.
13:33No, I was.
13:35Look at all the chaos
13:36I brought to your door.
13:38And I didn't mind.
13:39Because I loved you.
13:42And I loved you.
13:43Did you?
13:45Oh, were you grateful?
13:47Because,
13:48looking back,
13:49when we got together,
13:50all that stuff with
13:51Ray Crosby...
13:53Don't remind me.
13:55No, was it?
13:56Because I...
13:56I rescued you.
13:57And you thought,
13:58here's a dull bloke.
13:59He won't mess me about.
14:00No.
14:01I was besotted
14:03with you, Kevin.
14:05And maybe
14:06part of that was
14:07because you made me feel safe,
14:09but...
14:10mainly
14:10because I felt seen
14:13for the first time.
14:15I could be totally honest,
14:17totally myself,
14:18in a way that I'd never been able to
14:19with another man.
14:20And then there was
14:21him, man.
14:23Yeah, well...
14:24That was a moment of madness.
14:27And I was mad
14:28after Seb died.
14:30I know you was.
14:31Which I forgave you.
14:35I'm not sure
14:36I ever got over, Seb.
14:40Don't think he ever will.
14:44Maybe that's what
14:45really destroyed our marriage.
14:48My grief,
14:49because...
14:50somewhere along the line,
14:52I just stopped
14:53being able to love you.
14:55Maybe I...
14:56I just didn't have room
14:57for love.
14:58Maybe deep down.
15:03I could sense
15:04she was...
15:06slipping away
15:08and I couldn't face it.
15:09I just
15:10grasped harder
15:11and made it worse.
15:12No, Kevin.
15:13None of this is your fault.
15:15You have been
15:16an amazing husband to me
15:18through thick and thin.
15:19Well,
15:20you don't love me anymore.
15:21I will always love you, Kevin.
15:29But not in the way
15:30that I used to.
15:32I can't change
15:33what's happened
15:33between me and you, can I?
15:35No, but...
15:36you can change
15:37how you deal with it.
15:41You're right.
15:42Wallowing in
15:43self-piss
15:44he isn't helping.
15:44I've got to pull
15:45myself together.
15:46Because Jack needs me.
15:48And so does Debbie.
15:49They do.
15:49I think I'm coming down
15:54any time soon.
15:56Only if not,
15:57I might take my car
15:58to another gallery.
16:00Obviously,
16:00I don't want to do that,
16:01but the clutch
16:02really needs looking at it.
16:03Do you want to answer
16:04more, shall I?
16:05Go on.
16:06Give it me best shot.
16:07Brian!
16:10Why don't you
16:10take your clutch
16:12and stick it
16:13where the sun
16:13don't shine?
16:16It's a bit harsh.
16:17Can we get down now, please?
16:19My backside's killing me.
16:20Yeah.
16:21So's mine.
16:22You always seem
16:23like such a happy little boy.
16:25Every time I came back,
16:26you were laughing,
16:28smiling.
16:30I just thought
16:31it was all meant to be.
16:33They loved being
16:34mum and dad.
16:35and I just saw them
16:37doing a brilliant job.
16:39I mean, outwardly.
16:41Yeah, sure.
16:42Like, they fed me,
16:44clothed me,
16:44sent me to school,
16:45but...
16:47I always knew
16:48something was wrong.
16:51I thought something
16:52was wrong with me.
16:53Oh, Carl.
16:56I just...
16:57I never understood
16:58why she was so distant
17:00with me.
17:01I thought it was
17:02my fault that...
17:05that I wasn't good enough.
17:08I tried everything.
17:10I just wanted
17:11me mum to love me.
17:15But now, no,
17:16there was no point
17:17because I wasn't
17:18even hers.
17:19Oh, Carl,
17:22that breaks my heart.
17:24Good!
17:25Because I spent
17:26my entire life
17:27thinking that I'm
17:28not good enough,
17:29running away from anyone
17:30that might possibly
17:31reject me,
17:32messing things up
17:33because that's all
17:34I'm good for,
17:35hating myself
17:35because you had a mum
17:36that didn't even love me.
17:39Don't touch me!
17:41Get away!
17:41Right, time for the
17:48Marigolds.
17:49Oh, it's all right.
17:50I'll do it.
17:51Er, it'll be quicker.
17:52We two.
17:53It's my responsibility.
17:54You don't live here
17:55any more.
17:56I have to accept that.
17:57Fair enough.
17:58But I would like you
17:59to come back to the
18:00garage,
18:01if you're OK with it.
18:02My, er,
18:03bank account
18:03says thank you.
18:04Yes, please.
18:07Hey!
18:08Hey, Dad.
18:10Look, I'm sorry
18:11about yesterday.
18:12And not just yesterday.
18:14I've been a nightmare
18:16for weeks.
18:17It's OK.
18:18No, it isn't.
18:19You're just hurting.
18:20And I get it.
18:22I should have been
18:23more understanding.
18:24You're more mature
18:25than me.
18:27That's a given.
18:28Seriously.
18:30I understand
18:31if you want to
18:32stay at Abbey's
18:32for a while.
18:33I don't.
18:34I'd rather move back in.
18:36Oh, cheers.
18:37Oh, you don't have
18:38the sports channels.
18:39True.
18:41I love you, Dad.
18:42Maybe I don't
18:43tell you that enough.
18:46Not as much
18:47as I love you.
18:49Come here.
18:58So that's why
18:58you didn't tell me
18:59she was dying.
19:01Because you were
19:01worried she was
19:02going to tell me
19:02the truth.
19:03Yeah.
19:04No.
19:04What happened?
19:05You robbed me
19:06of a chance
19:07to say goodbye
19:07to her.
19:08A chance
19:08for me to hear
19:09things that maybe
19:09I needed to hear.
19:10I didn't mean that.
19:11I am so sorry, Carl.
19:13You're a lying,
19:14selfish bitch.
19:17You have every right
19:18to be angry.
19:19anger.
19:20Oh, anger.
19:24Anger.
19:25Anger doesn't come
19:26close.
19:29See, now I know
19:31what she meant.
19:32On my 30th birthday,
19:33when she said
19:34I deserved better,
19:35I did.
19:38Yeah, you did.
19:41Carl,
19:41I am a liar.
19:42I am a liar.
19:44And I'm a coward.
19:49I'm a horrible,
19:50horrible person.
19:55But I can be better.
19:58And that's why,
19:59that's why
20:01I'm going to try
20:03and put things right now.
20:04You think you go
20:05into prison's
20:06going to put things
20:07right?
20:10No.
20:13No, I...
20:14It's not going to
20:16change everything
20:17that you've been
20:17through, but...
20:18At least this is
20:21something I can do.
20:22To make you
20:23feel less guilty.
20:25That's for you.
20:26That's not for me.
20:29There's a lot of things
20:30I'm feeling right now.
20:32And guilt
20:33is one of them,
20:34but...
20:37I know
20:38what you've done.
20:42But I don't want you
20:43to suffer for it.
20:45Suffer?
20:48Suffer.
20:49I've been suffering
20:50since birth.
20:51I was 17!
20:54I did what
20:55everybody else
20:56told me to do!
20:58But why?
20:58Why couldn't you
20:59just have had me
20:59adopted by someone
21:01who actually cared
21:02about me?
21:03But oh, no.
21:04No, no, no, no, no, no.
21:05Instead,
21:06you gave me to her!
21:07God!
21:08You...
21:09God, that means...
21:10Get off!
21:11Don't touch me!
21:14Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
21:17Oh, no, no, no, no.
21:18I didn't...
21:20Well, you're
21:22succeeding in one thing,
21:23I suppose.
21:24What?
21:27You're persuading me
21:28not to go to the police.
21:31Good luck in prison.
21:34I won't be visiting.
21:35Look!
21:36Cal!
21:36Cal!
21:37No, it's just...
21:38It's just...
21:54It's...
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