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This panel will feature new mothers within the beauty space who share how their routines have changed after becoming parents.
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00:00Kaelin, can I get a little bit more? I know it's Sunday, it's been a long weekend, but can I get
00:07a little something something? That's more like it. I'm your host, Kaelin, and I'm back to introduce
00:15another panel for you all. So thank you, DJ Rakim Poe, for giving us those ones and twos for a
00:21little while. Next panel is really special because we're talking about beauty after motherhood,
00:26right? Very, very special time in a lot of women's life, female-bodied people, right? So motherhood
00:32can be both beautiful and complex. There is no experience like gifting life. This panel will
00:39feature mothers within the beauty spectrum who share how their routines have changed after having
00:45a child. So allow me to introduce our next moderator. Her name is Victoria Urumarogi, and she is an editor
00:54and writer from the Midwest who calls Brooklyn, New York home. She is the senior lifestyle editor
01:00for Essence Magazine and Essence.com, curating content on everything from wellness to parenting
01:07to cars, travel, food, and love. And her most important role is being a proud boy mom of two.
01:15Y'all give a warm welcome from Ms. Victoria.
01:29Hey, ladies. How are we doing over here, beautiful people? Hey! Everybody good? Can we look alive?
01:35How we doing? Good? Good? All right. That's better. That's better. Well, thank you for taking the time
01:41to be here today to talk about beauty after motherhood. Motherhood is such an important part
01:45of our lives, and so we're going to have a very important conversation about it. And so I want
01:49to introduce you to, first and foremost, the beauty editor for Well and Good, Ms. Amy Simeon. Give
01:55her a round of applause, please. And then also show some love to Shannon Johnson. She is a wonderful
02:01creator. These are both moms, a mom of one and mom of one and a half. Show them some love.
02:07Awesome, ladies. So, you know, we're talking about what it's like balancing being new mothers
02:13and then also trying to find time to carve out our own routines, our own ways of making
02:17ourselves feel special and beautiful. So first, I'm going to ask you, Amy, can you describe
02:22what your beauty routine was like before you had your child? Yes. So I am a beauty editor.
02:29I have over 10 years of experience in editorial and, sorry, I love beauty. So before having
02:37my child, it's all, I mean, I work in beauty. So I'm spending time testing products all day,
02:44testing skincare, visiting hairstylists. I had all the time in the world. And then I found
02:50out I was pregnant. And pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks. And I feel like from the moment
02:55when I saw the positive pregnancy test, I was just a mess until she was born. But I
03:02was really able to just have more time on my hands to immerse myself in beauty for work
03:07and for personal purposes. And it's not that I don't have the time now, but it just looks
03:12a little bit different. It's just a new part of me that I kind of have to get used to.
03:17Got you, got you. And Shannon, what would you say are the most difficult parts of beauty
03:21after giving birth? And what are the most rewarding? I feel like the most difficult part
03:26for me for beauty after birth is just the simple fact that I don't have as much time as I used to
03:31have. So I had to really perfect like a everyday. It's a lot simpler and things like that. So
03:39I don't know. It's, it's a whole different type of routine, but I really enjoy obviously spending
03:44time with my daughter. So it's completely worth it. That's the most rewarding part.
03:48Nice, nice. And Amy, during pregnancy, did you have to alter your beauty routine
03:52to adapt to things like swelling, hormonal acne, hair loss? And what was your experience with that?
03:59Yes. So when I found out I was pregnant, my first trimester was rough. I think once I made it to the
04:05second trimester, I was really able to see like, how is this going to go for me? Luckily, I didn't have
04:12to deal with too much hormonal acne. I've struggled with acne my entire life. And thankfully,
04:17when I was pregnant, I felt like my baby was my blessing and she like took it all away with her.
04:23But swelling was a huge thing that I had to get under control. Even before I was pregnant,
04:29I would like, if I eat too much salty food, or if I'm like out in the heat, like my limbs love to
04:34swell. So I had a big fat foot for almost my entire pregnancy and after. So there were adjustments
04:42there. Like I had to look into products that kind of help swelling calm down or whatnot. I packed a lot
04:48of that for the hospital. I didn't deal with hair loss until after I gave birth and my hair actually
04:56kind of just stopped falling out. So I'm kind of like over that bridge. But there were adjustments.
05:02And when I reflect, I just think that the entire process is just so beautiful. And even with the big
05:08fat foot, like I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Yes, facts. Any mothers out there?
05:13Anybody? Okay, nice, nice. Anybody else experienced that postpartum hair shedding that she was talking
05:19about? It's a doozy, ain't it? I'm still trying. I'm waiting for my edges to come back. It's been a
05:24while, but it's all worth it. It's all worth it. Shannon, did you have any expectations of what your
05:30routine would look like as a mother? And how does it compare to your actual reality now that you're
05:34living it in the day to day? The one thing for me is that I didn't have any expectations getting
05:41myself into. So I, it was kind of a culture shock for me, just like having a child and doing all the
05:48things and realizing that life was going to change a lot. I definitely started getting into different
05:55products when I gave birth because just my, everything changed about me. My body changed in
06:00a completely different way. So yeah, it's just so different, but it's so cool. I feel like a grown
06:06woman now. Yes, very true, very true. And Amy, what was your routine like? You already kind of touched
06:11on it a little bit, but what was your routine like right after birth compared to now? I know it's
06:17always mad hectic in the beginning, but then once you add in like work and everything, when you get
06:22back to work, how are you balancing those things and finding time for self-care? You know, and how, if you are
06:27able to do that, why is that time so important? So it's hard and the only reason why I'm even able to
06:35be here to work and to have this opportunity to speak on this stage is because of my village and
06:42the people who support me and support my family. So when I am able to get a moment for myself, like I
06:49savor it and it's sacred to me because I learned very quickly after birth that like things would not be
06:56the same. And it's not in a bad way again, but a new phase of life that you have to adapt to.
07:02So, I mean, every day is different. Some days I don't have time. I work from home. So there are
07:08some mornings where I'm like up and at it at seven o'clock. My teeth is brushed and my hair is done
07:13and I'm ready. And then there are some days where it's like four o'clock and I'm like, oh shit,
07:16I haven't taken a shower yet today. Like, what am I doing? And I've just learned to give myself grace.
07:22Um, when I have extra time, when someone can watch baby and I can get my hair done or get a massage
07:28or do my nails at home, like I really cherish those moments. But when I can't get those things done,
07:33you know, it's not the end of the world. I just try to remember that I'm doing the most important
07:39thing by immersing myself into focusing on my daughter in whatever moment she needs my attention.
07:45So just having those conversations with myself.
07:47Nice. And I did want to ask both of you ladies, like you mentioned, like one of the things you
07:52might like to do when you do have a moment is to maybe get your hair done, do something fancy.
07:56What is your go-to mode of self-care when you do have that time somebody's watching,
08:01you know, your child for you and you're like free, like, oh my God, I have like the whole
08:04afternoon to myself. I have the whole day. What is it that you have to do? Maybe it's a massage.
08:09Maybe it's a dance class. Like, what is your thing that really makes you feel like
08:12you? Because we have to get back to like being us, not just mommies, but like, what is the thing
08:17that like, oh, I can't wait to do this when I have the time.
08:21For me, one of my favorite things to do is go to the spa. I was never really a spa girly before,
08:26but now that I have a child, I take any time to go get a spa treatment. My husband always surprises
08:31me and like books something for me, which is great. And then I just get to like, he texts me in the
08:36morning. He's like, you have a spa appointment today and your mom's coming to watch the baby. So
08:40it's perfect. That's my favorite thing. The thing for me is a really long shower. I never used to
08:45like care about my great long showers. And now I'm like, wow, I have 20 minutes to myself. I could
08:50take a shower. So it's really nice to have a little moment to yourself, even if it's like a quick
08:55shower, just to be able to like regroup, take care of yourself, your skin, your hair, whatever,
09:00and just feel yourself again. Yeah, no, I feel that because I often have to rush. Like I'll try to take
09:06a shower and then somebody like, I have to use the bathroom. Tommy got to go. He has to use the
09:10potty. It's like, oh my goodness. So a long shower, it really hits. Yes. How about you and me? So
09:15before I gave birth, I was really dedicated and committed to deep tissue massage, acupuncture,
09:22and cupping, which I found to be extremely healing. So I'm trying to get back into that,
09:28trying to at least see my acupuncturist once a month, just to help remove tension and help like
09:34my body manage stress. But even when I can't make it there, I've been like really big on doing my
09:39own nails at home. I'll put a TV show on and just sit down and like try to like do better every
09:44single time and just take care of myself and show up for myself in that way. And also I feel like
09:49when you get your nails done, you just feel like your life is just not chaotic. You don't feel like
09:53Shrek no more. Yeah, exactly. So when I don't want to feel like Shrek, I put the TV on,
09:58I sit down, I'm trying to do gel ex on my own at home. And I just take care of myself in that way.
10:06Nice. I love that. And Shannon, what was your relationship with beauty when you were growing
10:10up? And what would you say now that you're a mother, what is the most important beauty lesson
10:14that you would like to pass on to your daughter? Growing up, I did gymnastics. And so I always had
10:20competitions and I love doing my makeup for competitions and getting pretty and just feeling
10:24cute. And that's something that I've really like, obviously my child's just turned one. Well,
10:30tomorrow she turns one. Happy early birthday. Thank you. She's not there yet, but I'm really
10:35excited. I'm a girl mom. I'm having another girl. I want her to get into the beauty space and just
10:40enjoy it the same way that I do and just, you know, do all the fun little pamper things that I love to
10:46do before gymnastics meets. I can't wait till she's in school and I get to like makeup on her and do fun
10:52things like that. So I'm excited to share those memories with her. Nice. I love that. Amy, how
10:57about you? What are some of the like beauty lessons that you got to learn growing up and what would
11:01you want to pass on to your daughter? Well, my daughter also just turned one last week and
11:07happy birthday to her too. Wow. Yeah, I know. We were like right behind each other. Um, and I think for
11:13me, she's been allowing me to sit and she's been sitting so I can do her hair. And I think for so many
11:20black women, especially Caribbean women, like I remember that position in my mom's legs so clearly
11:28and I do her hair and you know, she'll move and I'm like chasing her and I'm just like, you know
11:34what? I have in the back of my head, I want this to be a pleasant, positive, fun experience. And
11:41literally, even if she just lets me do one pigtail, I'm like, thank you God. Thank you God. Like I just
11:45want her to feel happy and loved and know that I will do anything to make her feel her absolute
11:53best, even if it's a little crooked pigtail. So I, in even these moments now, like I cherish it and I
12:00just am consciously like, I want my daughter to know when I'm in between my mom's legs and she's
12:04doing my hair, we having fun. It's all good. So that's, that's something that I think about all the
12:09time. Nice. I love that. And so as you guys kind of briefly talked about what beauty was like,
12:14you know, right after you gave birth. Now, like your daughters are like one, we're kind of like,
12:19I mean, you're pregnant again, so, but, but like, you know, you're kind of out of the kind of early
12:24stage rough things where you have a little bit, a little bit of time to yourself. So maybe before
12:29you had your child, you maybe spent more time like beating your face down, like doing the whole thing.
12:35How do you kind of fit your booty routine into your overall routine as a mom? Like, are you kind of
12:41like keeping it a little bit lighter? Do you still find time to really put on a full face?
12:44Like, what is it for you? Let's start with you, Shannon. Sure. It depends on the occasion. If I'm
12:48going somewhere, I like to get dolled up. I really enjoy taking time to do my makeup. So part of what
12:54I do is I really enjoy, you know, doing makeup routines on TikTok and sharing that with people.
12:59So for me, I make it an excuse like, job, I have to do this. Might as well get cute.
13:05So makeup on for everyone. But yeah, I think on a day to day basis, I really am not doing a full
13:15glam moment. And that's, I think we're a lot of like, you know, treatments come in. I really like
13:20getting my eyebrows laminated or like my lashes done. And then I wake up feeling my, I don't have
13:26to like, go put on mascara every day. And then it just short. Sorry. Okay, how about you, Amy? Yeah,
13:36I think like I mentioned earlier, I work remotely. So naturally, I think that my daily routine is
13:43not fun at all. Like, I'm just kind of like ponytail, edge control. As long as I look good
13:49enough for these Zoom calls, I'm like, I don't have time anymore. This was not me before having a child.
13:55But when I do get to like go to events and network with people, I do take a lot of like
14:03pride and like joy and getting ready and like feeling cute. And you know, it feels good to
14:08like look in the mirror and be like, Oh, you still cute. You still got it. Yeah. Nice, nice. And
14:15aside from just like, you know, the beauty, the hair, things like that, we did talk about like,
14:19you know, shedding some hair right after you give birth and things like that. How do you strike a
14:23balance between embracing the natural changes that come with motherhood, giving birth, and you know,
14:29still feeling confident in your appearance? Because some of the stuff can get you down. You
14:32know, obviously, being a mother is beautiful. The outcome is beautiful. But sometimes you look at
14:38yourself and you're like, how did we get here? So how do you strike that balance? Would you say?
14:44I'm still learning how to strike the balance every single day. Like I talked about this to my
14:49sister a lot. Breastfeeding was like a new world. I was like, once I learned and figured it out,
14:57I was like, no one told me how much of a toll this is going to take on you and how you feel and how
15:02you look. And now like I joke to her and I'm like, I don't know whose boobs these are. Like,
15:08what happened here? So I'm working through it every single day. But so I don't know how I'm striking
15:15the balance. But honestly, it's part of like an evolution is how I'm looking at it. It's an
15:20evolution of womanhood, evolution of self, like I'm changing every day. And that's okay.
15:27How about you, Shannon? I feel the same way. It's an evolution. I'm definitely not in a place where
15:31I'm just like, wow, my body is changing so much. And I'm changing so much. And I'm completely okay
15:36with it. Like, obviously, it puts a toll on you because your body goes from point A to point B
15:41within minutes of popping a baby out. And it's just, it's a lot to take in. And I talk about
15:46that all the time. It's just, it's a big toll on you. But I think that I'm just adjusting to
15:52the new me and loving her. And it's really fun to just experience new parts of myself. And
15:58obviously, I have a great community behind me and family behind me who like help me with my
16:03confidence and keep me, you know, feeling myself and feeling cute. But there's so many things that
16:08change. And now like I'm pregnant again. So my theory is just to keep having babies until I'm
16:13done. And then I'll, I'll get back into a routine of figuring who I am. When it's all done, we'll get
16:21back to the old me. Nice. And how do you ladies also deal with snapback culture? Right? So
16:27everybody out here, a lot of people give birth and some famous folks will come on the Instagram a
16:33week later, like, look at me back in the, like, and you're thinking yourself like, what the hell?
16:36Like, I'm leaking. I'm struggling. Like, how are you doing this? So how do you guys deal with that?
16:42Like, you look at it and you're like, okay, that's good for you and push it out the way. Or does that
16:45ever kind of get to you and make you feel like, should I be doing something else different? Like,
16:49what, you know, how does that work for you? And we'll start with you, Shannon, because you were
16:52pregnant right now. So how are you kind of navigating those conversations and the things that are being put
16:58out there about the need to like snapback fast? Yeah, I never really felt that. I don't think that
17:05that's something that I'm dealing with too much because I have a lot of people, like I said,
17:10around me who are helping me deal with those like ebbs and flows of emotions and things like that.
17:16But I don't know, I think getting pregnant pretty quick, I got pregnant six months postpartum.
17:21And I'm sorry, I'm not going to the gym. Like, I don't go to the gym when I'm pregnant. I don't go
17:25to the gym a year after I'm pregnant. So it's been like two years since I've been to the gym.
17:28But I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad at all. But maybe like after this one, we'll see. But
17:35the pressure is, you know, I'm not going to go on the internet and be like, wow, look how good I look.
17:38Or, you know, I just think that that can like put people in a headspace because we're all different.
17:42We all have different body types. So I just don't think, you know, putting that out there and like
17:46making people feel some type of way is good for anyone. So I just didn't take part in it.
17:53Nice. Yeah. How about you, Amy?
17:54Yeah, I think what you said about us all being different is what I keep in my mind.
18:01Even through my work, when I interview moms, and like I'm working with them in a different
18:06capacity, like I try just to keep in mind, like every woman's journey is so different. So like if
18:12you can pop a baby out and hit some burpees and do a couple planks immediately after, wow,
18:19that's like amazing for you. But like that may not be the case for me or the case for you.
18:23And that's okay, too. So that's all I tell myself. Like everyone's different. Like if
18:28all I can do today is run after my kid and like answer a couple emails, then that's what
18:34I accomplished for the day.
18:36Facts. And somebody over at Wellness House was saying, a nutritionist was saying, it takes
18:40you nine months to have a baby. So you should then have another, you have like an additional
18:45nine months to do whatever you need to do for yourself and to get back to who, you know,
18:48feeling like not to snap all the way back to where you were before, but to just to get
18:52back to what works for you. And if you have more than one child, then you got even more
18:56time, girl. So you don't even got to rush.
18:56I got all the time. I got to keep having more kids. So I have more time for myself.
19:01You were like, I wasn't rushing anyway. And my last question for you ladies is in what
19:05ways has motherhood inspired you to approach beauty and wellness with a more holistic perspective,
19:11considering not just an external appearance, but overall health and wellbeing? Because obviously
19:15how we feel after motherhood shifts mentally, like you just go through so much with the
19:21hormones jumping up and down. So, and if you can start, like how has, you know, motherhood
19:25changed the way you look at your health overall and your beauty?
19:29I mean, I cared about my health and my wellness overall prior to having a child, but anyone who
19:37knows me knows that I'm also very like laissez-faire about things. I'm just kind of like, oh, whatever,
19:41whatever. And now I'm still kind of like that, but I feel just, I have a deeper passion of making
19:49sure that I am showing up as the best version of myself every single day, because I do not want
19:56to be a mom that my daughter has to heal from. So whatever that means is what I am striving
20:04for. Like I just, I want to take care of myself. I want to make sure that I'm rested. Even if I'm
20:08not rested, I want to make sure that I have a good attitude, that I am just showing up in my
20:14household in a positive manner, as positive as I can. Cause some days, you know, it's life.
20:21It's not every day is going to be the best day ever, but I'm just trying my best because I just,
20:25I don't want to be a mom that my child is going to be like, my mom traumatized me or like my mom
20:30was like angry all the time or she didn't like, I don't want to be that example. So I'm just trying
20:34to lead by example. Um, and I'm trying to figure that out every day, but you know, just making
20:40sure that I'm in a good space mentally, that if I need help, I ask for it. If I need something,
20:45I can voice it and articulate it and find a solution. I think it's like just my approach
20:49to everything as like I've entered this new chapter. Nice. And how about you, Shannon?
20:56Yeah. Health and wellness is so much more important to me now. I think before baby, I really,
21:03I mean, obviously I cared about my body and took care of it, but I think that things didn't affect
21:08my body as much. What I ate, what I did working out, those things weren't really making a difference
21:15as much as they are now. You know, I, I eat sugar now and I feel it. I'm like, when did I get old?
21:23So now I kind of just have to be more aware of what's going on when I'm putting in my body
21:27or the products I'm using. You know, I think childbirth just changes your body in a lot of ways.
21:32Like I keep saying, I think that's the number one thing that I'm experiencing and then getting
21:36pregnant again. And for me, like I'm very hyper aware when I'm pregnant. And so being pregnant,
21:41I'm, you know, obviously not putting certain things in my body or topical things. I feel like
21:47I have to think about every lotion I'm using and every face wash I'm using. So I'm like so aware
21:53of all the like details of every little thing, which is cool because I think, you know, after birth
21:58and things like that, it's, it's nice to know these things and know what's good for you
22:01and what's not and what's safe and what's not. So, I mean, it's helping me for the future
22:06too. And my daughters. Nice. I love that. Can we give a round of applause here for Amy Simeon
22:12and Shannon Johnson and for all the mothers, can you clap for yourselves too? Woo. Thank you
22:19guys. Thank you ladies. Thank you. Thank you.
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