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John et Max vivent dans une petite bourgade du Minnesota. Depuis plus d'un demi-siècle, ces deux voisins entretiennent une rivalité acharnée depuis leurs premières tentatives de séduction - toutes infructueuses. Dès le matin, ils se saluent en s'envoyant à la tête toutes sortes de noms d'oiseaux. Pas une journée ne passe sans que l'un ne joue un tour pendable à l'autre. Un beau jour, la charmante Ariel Truax emménage de l'autre côté de la rue. Cette veuve excentrique et épanouie réveille vite les ardeurs assoupies des deux sexagénaires, également veufs. Ariel, qui accorde son amitié à l'un comme à l'autre, devient bientôt l'objet d'un affrontement sans merci entre les deux...
Transcription
00:00Mornin' dickhead.
00:01Hello moron.
00:03Hey, watch your mouth, you dumb friggin' swede.
00:06Look, don't tell me what to do, huh?
00:08Yeah, yeah, big man with the ax on your hand.
00:11Axe? All right, fine.
00:11You wanna clock me?
00:12You think you can take me?
00:13Come on.
00:17All right, 1937, the Todd field of the ball.
00:20I kicked your ass after football.
00:23You're a child.
00:24He started it.
00:25I'm sure John started every fight since 1940.
00:2738.
00:28Man, well, it's ridiculous.
00:47Oh, my God.
00:48Holy moly.
00:53Oh, you were friends?
00:55What could make two grown men spend most of their lives fighting each other?
00:58You're a guest.
01:00A woman.
01:01Yeah, yeah.
01:03You say she's all alone?
01:04And hot to trot.
01:06Ever since I got here, you and Max Goldman have been stuck up against your windows.
01:11Been watching the squirrels.
01:12One of them's making a nest right under your eaves.
01:14Squirrels.
01:15Sure, John.
01:18I'll have you made it in three moves.
01:20Shouldn't we get to know each other a little better first?
01:25Oh, Max.
01:26I think we're gonna be great friends.
01:28Oh, friends.
01:30Friends.
01:31Friends.
01:32Friends is good.
01:33That's good, isn't it?
01:34Yeah.
01:35Mm-hmm.
01:36When was the last time you made love?
01:38October 4th, 1978.
01:42You stole her, didn't you?
01:43What?
01:44She's mine.
01:45Yeah, well, she came to me.
01:47Oh, yeah.
01:48Oh, shit.
01:50Are we crazy?
01:52That's not just a woman living across your street.
01:55She's an angel.
01:58Angel, right?
01:59Take it easy, Chuck.
02:00Sheah Hamale, right?
02:01And I love you.
02:02I love you.
02:03Two people.
02:04Two people.
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