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Category
๐ฅ
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:12Uh, yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi.
00:00:23Just play him on.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:30Hey!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:00I don't want you to stop.
00:01:04I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:51Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how, just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:10I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:17Seven years.
00:02:27Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:29And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:31Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:45I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:49But first, we found her fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:53Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:12I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:20Ah.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent in Daddy?
00:03:27Where's my real one?
00:03:29Uh.
00:03:36I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:48Daddy!
00:03:49No!
00:03:49What?
00:03:54I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:01No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry.
00:04:07Your fake Christmas husband has arrived.
00:04:16I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:19He's gorgeous.
00:04:21Ah.
00:04:24Why does it feel so familiar?
00:04:30She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:32Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:39See, I knew you were the new daddy we hired, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:42What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max.
00:04:47Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:12That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:15That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple.
00:05:22Okay, play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:37But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:43Okay.
00:05:43Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:05:59Wow.
00:06:00Clean up nice.
00:06:01This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:03Pictures.
00:06:04You guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:15You guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:34Touching.
00:06:37Okay.
00:06:38Uh, I think we got it.
00:06:40Oh, I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:43To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:06:47Yeah.
00:06:48Of course.
00:06:49Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:00From my family to you.
00:07:10Bad news, boss.
00:07:11The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:16Wait, she bailed?
00:07:17Then who is...
00:07:20Who is she?
00:07:23Whatever.
00:07:24It doesn't matter.
00:07:26I've got what I need.
00:07:30Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:31I already found someone.
00:07:32Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:41Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:43Christmas shopping?
00:07:44I should come.
00:07:46Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:49I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:52It will make it more believable.
00:07:57Fine.
00:07:57Yeah, fine.
00:07:58Okay.
00:07:59You can come.
00:07:59Okay.
00:08:02Let's go.
00:08:08Which mall are we going to?
00:08:10Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:11Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:16Oh!
00:08:18What the actual fuck?
00:08:24Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:29Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:35She does kind of look like him.
00:08:40So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:45Here, let me get this.
00:08:47I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:51Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice.
00:09:01In front of them.
00:09:02Okay.
00:09:03Should we use our tongues or?
00:09:06No.
00:09:06No, definitely not.
00:09:07And absolutely no.
00:09:09Sex?
00:09:10Yes.
00:09:11This is strictly business.
00:09:14Anything physical outside of that is not happening.
00:09:17What?
00:09:18Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:21I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:27Let's go.
00:09:34Here.
00:09:35What are you doing?
00:09:36I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:39Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:47Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5050% off pies?
00:09:52Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5312 pumpkin pies, did I hear this right?
00:09:55They're the best kind.
00:09:57Hurry up and go.
00:09:58Go.
00:09:58What are you standing here for?
00:10:01Hello there.
00:10:02Hi.
00:10:03You ready?
00:10:03Yes.
00:10:03Yeah, just these things.
00:10:04Okay, great.
00:10:06We have a holiday special today.
00:10:08Spend $500.
00:10:09Get 10% off, and you are just short 15 bucks if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:14Oh, great.
00:10:15Yeah.
00:10:15What do you have that's just 15 bucks?
00:10:17Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:19I just got here.
00:10:21Relax.
00:10:22Yeah, yeah.
00:10:25Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:27Okay, thank you.
00:10:30Hurry up and pay.
00:10:31I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:36You can wait your turn.
00:10:42Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:44Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:51Not the pies.
00:10:51Not the pies.
00:10:53You can just set those on top.
00:10:58Hi, guys.
00:11:00I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:06Just to give it away.
00:11:07Yeah.
00:11:09Merry Christmas.
00:11:10Merry Christmas.
00:11:16What?
00:11:17You do that often?
00:11:19As often as I can.
00:11:24We should go.
00:11:25We got to pick up paper.
00:11:29Sit, watch out.
00:11:30You done feeling me up?
00:11:52Shut up.
00:11:53Oh, sorry.
00:11:54I was just in character, wifey.
00:11:55Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:11:58Christmas.
00:12:00And don't be late.
00:12:15Harrison Group?
00:12:17Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:20Sort of.
00:12:21Not that I'm judging.
00:12:22I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:26Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:30I think that's respectable.
00:12:33Can we pick another company?
00:12:35No.
00:12:36Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:38And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:39My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:41So, it's perfect.
00:12:46Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:12:50Don't worry.
00:12:51Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:12:52I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:12:53Too much.
00:13:14Let's go, Sam.
00:13:15It's time to check out the new HQ site.
00:13:17Hold on.
00:13:18You're covered in water, and you have a hair on your shoulder, and it's not yours.
00:13:23It's my daughter's.
00:13:25My daughter's.
00:13:26Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:29Hey, there they are!
00:13:46Hey!
00:13:47Nice to meet you!
00:13:48Oh, Dad.
00:13:50I'm so glad you made it.
00:13:51Oh, I missed you.
00:13:53So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:13:57He's coming.
00:13:58Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:00Good, good, good.
00:14:03So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:06When's he arriving?
00:14:08Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:13Poor thing.
00:14:13Not surprising.
00:14:15I mean, she's 30.
00:14:16Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:20Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:25This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:29Auntie Pamela?
00:14:30Debbie?
00:14:31My dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:34We're only worried about you.
00:14:36All these years without a husband.
00:14:39Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:41You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:44And look what happened.
00:14:45She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:14:49I'm not alone.
00:14:50Mm-hmm.
00:14:51And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:14:57He's a manager.
00:14:59Manager of what?
00:15:01Trash.
00:15:02Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:07You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:10Actually, he's right here.
00:15:16Oh, wow.
00:15:18Wow.
00:15:19He is really good looking.
00:15:22Ah, must be AI.
00:15:24Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:28Fake.
00:15:29That's enough.
00:15:29She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:32Show some respect.
00:15:33Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned him down?
00:15:40Well, guess what?
00:15:41William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:44Makes 500 grand a year.
00:15:47That's half a million.
00:15:49Half a million.
00:15:51Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:15:55And speak of the devil.
00:15:59Willie, you made it.
00:16:02There you are.
00:16:14Oh, look at you now.
00:16:16Living the dream.
00:16:18Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:20Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:26So married, huh?
00:16:27Is it serious?
00:16:30That's what marriage is.
00:16:31It's pretty serious.
00:16:33Wow.
00:16:34You must have rushed the tithing out, huh?
00:16:37Makes sense, though.
00:16:38You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:41Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:44A bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:46Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:16:50That's right.
00:16:52Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:16:55Yes, women love a man in red.
00:16:58Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:01Want to sit on my lap?
00:17:03Don't touch me.
00:17:04Oh, so entitled.
00:17:06Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:10And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:14I mean, look at that car.
00:17:17Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:20Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:23Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:28I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:35My mom would never marry.
00:17:37She already has a husband.
00:17:38He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:44Is that so?
00:17:45Well, then, where is he?
00:17:47Because I don't see him.
00:17:49Does anyone see him?
00:17:53Now, just like I thought, telling lies just like Mommy.
00:17:58That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:01And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:07Hey.
00:18:07Mommy.
00:18:08Hi.
00:18:09Are you okay?
00:18:10I see your hands.
00:18:11Oh, my God.
00:18:12I'm going to take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:14Come on, let's go.
00:18:17What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:20How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:24Let me go.
00:18:25Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:30Let me go.
00:18:31Let me go.
00:18:31Let me go.
00:18:44Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:18:53Max, you came.
00:18:55Don't worry, sweetie.
00:18:58Where's Piper?
00:19:00William Hitter.
00:19:01Mom, Dad, I'll take her inside.
00:19:03Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:06Well, well, well.
00:19:08If it isn't a waste marriage I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:11That's right.
00:19:12Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:17Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:20It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:21I'm Max.
00:19:22Eva told us all about you.
00:19:24From New York.
00:19:25Polite.
00:19:26Handsome.
00:19:27Just like she said.
00:19:29Wow.
00:19:30He was an AI.
00:19:32See?
00:19:32He's real.
00:19:34And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:37You son of a bitch.
00:19:38You just ruined my suit.
00:19:39And watch the way that you drive that pristine automobile.
00:19:44That car.
00:19:45Oh, my God.
00:19:47That's worth more than a house.
00:19:49That car.
00:19:50It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:19:55Wait.
00:19:56Are you?
00:19:57Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:04And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:07I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:09You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:11You stole it.
00:20:12That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:14Jesus.
00:20:15How did he get away with it?
00:20:17That's what I want to know.
00:20:19Enough, please.
00:20:22I trust my daughter.
00:20:24She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:27Max, be honest with me.
00:20:30Where did that car come from?
00:20:32How much did you want for it?
00:20:34I'll pay you more money than you'd make it three lifetimes.
00:20:37So, you need a breath, man.
00:20:42All right, that's it.
00:20:43I'm calling the cops.
00:20:44Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:46Wait.
00:20:47What?
00:20:48Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:20:52Oh, well.
00:20:53Too late.
00:21:00Listen, hon.
00:21:01I believe you.
00:21:03But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:07Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:08It's my car.
00:21:09Okay?
00:21:09It's not stolen.
00:21:11Yeah?
00:21:12If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:14Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:17Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:19Okay.
00:21:19I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:21But then you have to get lost.
00:21:23And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:26Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:28Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:30Loser!
00:21:31Mr. Harrison!
00:21:33Jesus.
00:21:33Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:36It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:40Here.
00:21:41Title and proof of ownership.
00:21:50Mr. Harrison?
00:21:54Mr. Harrison?
00:21:55Mr. Harrison?
00:22:00Just play along.
00:22:02Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:04Now get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:08Yes, sir. I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:11Please, please, please.
00:22:12Please, please.
00:22:12Please, please.
00:22:13Oh, that William. What a jerk, huh? He fooled me.
00:22:29What can I say? Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:34Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:36Oh, come on, Eva. We were just looking out for you.
00:22:39Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:22:41You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:22:44Soon.
00:22:44Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:22:48A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:22:53We are family, aren't we?
00:22:55Family takes care of each other.
00:22:58If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:03Abigail, come on. Talk to her for us.
00:23:06Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:09Yeah. I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:12My daughter is just far too busy for your best life for my new son-in-law.
00:23:19Come on, guys. Let's go in. Welcome to the family.
00:23:24Welcome. Come on in.
00:23:26This is your fault, Pam. You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:36My fault. You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:39Hey, how do you have that car?
00:23:52And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group? And how do you...
00:23:54I told you. I work for Harrison Group, remember? I have a friend in high places.
00:23:59A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:04Yes. It's the season of giving. He knows people. He has connections. He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:12You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:14Yeah, and you best not forget it. Capisce?
00:24:16Oh, my God. Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:20Dad! Mom! Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:25Oh, honey. We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking.
00:24:32I think they get it, hon.
00:24:35Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:37Oh, she's fine. One of you guys just gets settled in and we will go check on her.
00:24:42And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:24:47Great.
00:24:48See you in a bit. Joey?
00:24:50What are you doing?
00:24:53Okay.
00:24:55Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:01Relax. It was just a hug.
00:25:04Ugh.
00:25:06We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:09You'll be okay. It's just one week.
00:25:11Kill me now.
00:25:12Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:19What are you doing?
00:25:21That's weird.
00:25:22They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago and...
00:25:25I don't know. Something just feels off.
00:25:28That's ridiculous.
00:25:30I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:31Make them promise to prove it?
00:25:34Something like this.
00:25:36Later.
00:25:36Let's go.
00:25:40Here we go.
00:25:46Piper is all tucked in, honey. Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:25:50To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:25:53Aw.
00:25:55Welcome.
00:25:56Cheers.
00:25:57Thank you, Ms. Smith.
00:25:58Looks great.
00:25:59Aw, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:01I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:06But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:10Mmm.
00:26:11Oh, no. Mom's testing him.
00:26:12She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:14You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:18Ow.
00:26:22Eva, sweetie.
00:26:24Kicking my foot.
00:26:25Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:27Oh, jeez.
00:26:29It's okay.
00:26:31Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:32I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:40Um.
00:26:40Twelve pumpkin pies. Did I hear this right?
00:26:50They're the best kind.
00:26:52Well, of course. It's pumpkin pie.
00:26:55See? Are you happy now?
00:26:58That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:01Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:04We had a whirlwind romance and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:09But our marriage is real.
00:27:11I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:15Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:19Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:22Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:26Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:30I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:33Well, um, it's...
00:27:35Silly face. Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:38Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:41Silly face.
00:27:43I am not paying extra for this.
00:27:46Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:27:48That's lousers.
00:27:49That's nice.
00:27:51You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:27:54Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:27:58And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:00I'll drink to that.
00:28:02I agree with you there.
00:28:03So, come on, guys.
00:28:05Let's eat.
00:28:05Come on.
00:28:18And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:21I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:24Nice and festive for you.
00:28:26No complications, right?
00:28:28Sorry, honey.
00:28:29Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:30I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:32Oh, honey.
00:28:33Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:35Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:39The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:41Something about water conservation.
00:28:43That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:28:4515 minutes?
00:28:47Honey, it's no big deal.
00:28:48Just shower together.
00:28:51Shower together?
00:28:55Just shower together.
00:28:56Okay, you guys.
00:28:57Have a good night, okay?
00:29:03You heard her.
00:29:05Oh, wow.
00:29:26Why are you stripping?
00:29:28Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:31Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:32You have 15 minutes.
00:29:33Nice try.
00:29:34I am not showering with you.
00:29:36All right, sit yourself.
00:29:37All room for me in there.
00:29:39Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:41Come on.
00:29:42Come on, Max.
00:29:58Get out of the way.
00:30:00We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:02You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:04Relax.
00:30:05I won't touch you unless you say you want me to.
00:30:11But that'll cost extra.
00:30:12Yeah.
00:30:13Hmm.
00:30:22In your dreams.
00:30:24Free to join me.
00:30:25You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:30:49You wish.
00:30:49Why aren't you getting in?
00:30:52Pray you'll fall for me.
00:30:54It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:30:57Oh, yeah?
00:30:58True.
00:30:58Holy shit.
00:31:12Oh, this is, I'm, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:19I'll say.
00:31:21What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:24Still think you can resist?
00:31:25Oh, baby, I don't think I want you.
00:31:34I shouldn't.
00:31:39Or maybe we should.
00:31:41God, he's such a good kisser.
00:31:43Why does this feel so familiar?
00:31:52Oh, we're so sexy.
00:31:55Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:05What?
00:32:06I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:08It's not you, Max.
00:32:09It's us.
00:32:10It's this.
00:32:10This is all an act.
00:32:11Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:15You're right.
00:32:17I'm sorry.
00:32:18You just need to be sorry.
00:32:20You just...
00:32:20That birthmark.
00:32:29That birthmark.
00:32:29What is that?
00:32:37It's him.
00:32:38The man from New Year's.
00:32:39Is he Piper's father?
00:32:41Why are you acting?
00:32:48Oh, my God.
00:32:49Max is Piper's father.
00:32:52Are you okay?
00:32:53Yeah.
00:32:54I just...
00:32:55I just got lightheaded.
00:32:57I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:32:59Alone.
00:33:02Of course.
00:33:02We have a daughter together.
00:33:07Oh, my God.
00:33:09What do I do?
00:33:16I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:33:18You can take the bed.
00:33:20Thanks.
00:33:22Hey.
00:33:23Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:26Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:30So if there's something you need, I can help.
00:33:33I want to help.
00:33:35He's Piper's father.
00:33:36He has a right to know.
00:33:39Um, Max, how would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:33:48A child?
00:33:50No, no, no.
00:33:51That's impossible.
00:33:52I'm very careful.
00:33:55Mostly.
00:33:57I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:00Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:34:06Right.
00:34:08He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:10I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:13Why do you ask?
00:34:15No reason.
00:34:16Just curious.
00:34:18No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:21What?
00:34:22No.
00:34:24Well, then, can I ask you a question?
00:34:27Shoot.
00:34:33Where did you get these?
00:34:35And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:37I did not get those.
00:34:39I don't know where those came from.
00:34:41Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:34:44Is there nothing?
00:34:45I don't know where those came from?
00:34:49Wait!
00:34:50Elon, the truth is, is that I...
00:35:06Go, go, go, go, go, just a second, come in!
00:35:12Hey, hon.
00:35:20Oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:35:31Think you can take this one, Dad?
00:35:32We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:34I can see that.
00:35:36Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:38I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:40Well, atta boy.
00:35:42You know what?
00:35:42Just put a shirt on.
00:35:44I'm gonna go get her.
00:35:45Piper!
00:35:46Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:50He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.
00:35:57But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
00:36:08If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:12Good night, Piper.
00:36:17Is her dad still around?
00:36:19Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you are her dad.
00:36:24Uh, no.
00:36:25That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:33Do you really think so?
00:36:35From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:38Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:39He deserves to know.
00:36:40Max.
00:36:51You're Piper's father.
00:37:00I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:01Where's Piper?
00:37:27She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:37:46God, he's such a good kisser.
00:37:48Just going to kiss and run?
00:37:59Not on my watch.
00:38:04Yeah, this.
00:38:06I remember this.
00:38:07Good morning, you two lovebugs.
00:38:20How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:23Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:24It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:26Wonderful.
00:38:27Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:28Oh, no.
00:38:32What is that?
00:38:33Sardines and saltines.
00:38:35It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:37It was my gram-grams favorite during wartime.
00:38:40Don't be shy.
00:38:40Go ahead and grab a handful.
00:38:43Max, you don't have to.
00:38:45No, no.
00:38:45It's okay.
00:38:46It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:48Oh.
00:38:49Oh.
00:38:49Oh.
00:38:49Oh.
00:38:51Oh.
00:38:53Oh.
00:38:53Oh.
00:38:54Oh.
00:38:55Oh.
00:38:55Oh.
00:38:55Oh.
00:38:55Oh.
00:38:56Oh.
00:38:56Oh.
00:38:57Oh.
00:38:57Oh.
00:38:58Oh.
00:38:58Yeah.
00:38:59Yeah.
00:39:08Good?
00:39:09Mm.
00:39:10Good?
00:39:11It's grumpy.
00:39:13Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:15You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:18Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:21That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:25What's the deal with them?
00:39:26Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I, says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:32Hey, don't worry.
00:39:35I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:39Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:42It's a good one.
00:39:43I'm sorry.
00:39:44Yeah.
00:39:44I'm sorry.
00:39:45You're going to have to go see it.
00:39:46I'm sorry.
00:39:47I'm sorry.
00:39:48I'm sorry.
00:39:48I'm sorry.
00:39:49I'm sorry.
00:39:49I'm sorry.
00:39:49I'm sorry.
00:39:50I'm sorry.
00:39:51But I'll get it.
00:39:52Wait, that earring
00:39:58Wait, that earring
00:40:02You like it?
00:40:04I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago
00:40:06Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:09I don't really remember the details
00:40:11But luckily I was able to find a new pair
00:40:14Right, it's just a common earring
00:40:17Anyone can have it
00:40:19Maybe I'm reading too much into it
00:40:21She can't be the woman from seven years ago
00:40:23So Ava and Piper still aren't here
00:40:29But Derek said that Ava got married
00:40:32What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:37An aging single mom
00:40:38Slim pickings
00:40:40I heard he's in waste management
00:40:42That explains it
00:40:44She's probably too embarrassed to show up
00:40:47Oh please, Miranda
00:40:48Look, Ava is your niece
00:40:50Oh come on, Grandpa
00:40:52Everyone knows a track record speaks for itself
00:40:55Exactly
00:40:55Not like my Sierra
00:40:57Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group
00:41:00Oh, they're here
00:41:04Merry Christmas everybody
00:41:06Merry Christmas everybody
00:41:13Merry Christmas
00:41:13You must be Grandpa Harold
00:41:17I am
00:41:17I'm Ava's husband
00:41:19Max
00:41:20Pleasure to meet you
00:41:21Welcome
00:41:21You're Ava's husband
00:41:22But you're gorgeous
00:41:26But how does Hansa miss you?
00:41:30Look at you two
00:41:31You look like you just stepped out of a movie
00:41:33Merry Christmas, Grandpa
00:41:34Merry Christmas
00:41:35This is from Max and I
00:41:38Oh my goodness
00:41:38Thank you, Ava
00:41:39Let me grab that for you, Daddy
00:41:42Oops
00:41:43Oh my bad
00:41:44Oh, a homemade gift
00:41:47How thrifty
00:41:48Not all gifts are about the price tag
00:41:51Mommy's right, you mean I'll have
00:41:53You little
00:41:55You will not lay a hand on my daughter
00:41:59Or you will lose yours
00:42:00Oh
00:42:01I think you broke my wrist
00:42:04Look what you just did to my mother
00:42:06My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor
00:42:09He could ruin your life
00:42:11Bonnie, are you okay?
00:42:25I'm fine
00:42:26I'm just wet, honey
00:42:27Yeah
00:42:27It's okay
00:42:28It's okay
00:42:28What are you?
00:42:33Don't you dare disrespect my husband
00:42:36Did you just slap me?
00:42:38Next time it'll be a closed fist
00:42:40You're a fucking psycho
00:42:42You know what, Sierra?
00:42:43I can take your little insults
00:42:44But leave my family out of this
00:42:46Her family
00:42:49She needs me
00:42:51You okay, honey?
00:42:57Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:42:59Do something
00:43:00You don't know who you're messing with
00:43:02I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me
00:43:05Oh, wow
00:43:05I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that
00:43:08You're using his company's name
00:43:10To bully people
00:43:11Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks
00:43:14Let's call him
00:43:15I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side
00:43:18Please, who do you think you are?
00:43:21Enough
00:43:22There will be no arguing during Christmas
00:43:26Fine, Dad
00:43:28Let it go, Nathan
00:43:29They're just jealous
00:43:31For Grandpa's sake
00:43:34I'll let you off easy
00:43:35I think you owe Nathan a thank you
00:43:39I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you
00:43:43Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:44Alright, that's enough
00:43:45Everyone come inside and sit down
00:43:48Is this a joke?
00:44:11Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:13Hold it
00:44:13Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:16My husband and I paid for this feast
00:44:18My husband and I paid for this feast
00:44:24King crab, fresh from Alaska
00:44:27And grass-fed wagyu
00:44:29Three times the price
00:44:31Fifty times the flavor
00:44:33And you don't get a single bite
00:44:36It's just petty
00:44:37Maybe so
00:44:38But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders
00:44:42Fine
00:44:43Then we won't stay and eat with you
00:44:46Come on, let's go
00:44:47No, no
00:44:48Don't you dare leave our family dinner
00:44:51Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like
00:44:54I know, dear
00:44:55I just want to have our family together
00:44:58Fine
00:44:58We'll let the strays sit and eat with us
00:45:01Better a stray than a bitch
00:45:03What was that?
00:45:08I just want to have our family together
00:45:10Fine
00:45:11We'll stay
00:45:12Can I have a little nipple?
00:45:16It's okay, sweetie
00:45:16We'll get something right after
00:45:18Like drive-thru?
00:45:21I hope you enjoy food poisoning
00:45:23That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present
00:45:27No strays
00:45:29Ow
00:45:29Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:32Yes, please
00:45:33You hit my child
00:45:34You're fucking crazy
00:45:35Well, if you teach her some manners
00:45:37Maybe I wouldn't have to
00:45:39Don't worry, baby
00:45:44I'll handle it
00:45:45Piper, sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:01Okay, sweetheart
00:46:02Give me two minutes and one phone call
00:46:04As if you have a chef on speed dial
00:46:07Actually, I do
00:46:08He's such a liar
00:46:10This ought to be hilarious
00:46:12Oh, it will be
00:46:14Sam
00:46:17Yeah, send the troops
00:46:19And bring that king crab from Antarctica
00:46:21I'm already on my way
00:46:23Bring that king crab from Antarctica
00:46:29I'm already on my way
00:46:30You hear this guy?
00:46:33He wants the best king crab in the world
00:46:35From Antarctica
00:46:37Now I get why you married him, Eva
00:46:40His silly delusions are just adorable
00:46:43Max, what are you doing?
00:46:46Don't worry about it, sweetheart
00:46:47Santa's already on his way
00:46:48Actually
00:46:49Five
00:46:51Four
00:46:52Three
00:46:53Two
00:46:54One
00:46:56A helicopter?
00:47:06There's no way
00:47:08How did you pull this off?
00:47:14Sam is like family
00:47:15I thought I'd introduce you to
00:47:16Thanks, boss
00:47:17Boss?
00:47:20Eva's always been genuine with me
00:47:21Maybe it's time she knew who I really am
00:47:24Eva, I think it's time you
00:47:26Actually know the truth
00:47:27I'm Maximus Harrison
00:47:30You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:35Mm-hmm
00:47:35Come on
00:47:39You can stop kidding around
00:47:42If you were the CEO, why would you be here
00:47:44Pretending to be my husband?
00:47:46No, I actually am the CEO
00:47:48Come on
00:47:48You can stop the charade
00:47:49Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:47:53Eva, I'm not pretending
00:47:54Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested
00:48:00How is this possible?
00:48:11This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:18Who are you?
00:48:20I told you, I'm Eva's husband
00:48:22That chef called him Mr. Harrison
00:48:24Wait, no
00:48:26Hold on
00:48:27You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:33You're worth more than some whole countries
00:48:35Hmm
00:48:35Some of the small ones
00:48:37I mean, you know that
00:48:39You work for me
00:48:41Oh God
00:48:42I insulted my own boss
00:48:43I'm finished
00:48:45Oh God
00:48:50I insulted my own boss
00:48:52I'm finished
00:48:54Didn't think Max would commit this hard
00:48:56Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move
00:48:59Worth every penny I'm paying him
00:49:00For tonight
00:49:01Your feast ends
00:49:03And with that
00:49:04Your career
00:49:05You're fired
00:49:07I'm fired?
00:49:08Sam
00:49:09I'm fired?
00:49:14God
00:49:14I can't be fired
00:49:16What?
00:49:19Mr. Harrison, please
00:49:20You can have as much crab as you want
00:49:22Please, Mr. Harrison
00:49:23I'll do anything
00:49:24Guys
00:49:25Take out the trash
00:49:27And you
00:49:33Oh, me?
00:49:35Mr. Harrison, come on
00:49:37That was a Christmas joke
00:49:39A family tradition
00:49:40Yeah, well
00:49:41There's a new family tradition
00:49:43Sam
00:49:44Will you do me the honors?
00:49:51Gladly
00:49:51Merry Christmas, Aunt Ryan
00:49:57Father, do something
00:50:01Well, you kind of deserve that
00:50:04I'm leaving
00:50:05Pumpkin, my favorite
00:50:07Come on, sweetie
00:50:14Daddy had this crab line just for you
00:50:17Eat as much as you want
00:50:18Thanks, Daddy
00:50:19I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas
00:50:25I just couldn't take them treating you like that
00:50:27Honestly
00:50:28This is the best Christmas I've ever had
00:50:31Well, if you want
00:50:32We can have many more
00:50:33Just like this
00:50:34Does he really mean that?
00:50:37Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:38I can't tell
00:50:40And that terrifies me
00:50:41Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison
00:50:47I brought you a gift
00:50:49Here's the paternity test
00:50:50Between the boss and that little girl
00:50:51Oh
00:50:52Oh, this is wonderful
00:50:59Sam, I have a granddaughter
00:51:02Tell me everything
00:51:04Miss Eva Smith
00:51:05Single mother
00:51:06Small town gal
00:51:07Didn't finish high school
00:51:08Currently works in retail
00:51:09Oh, Maximus
00:51:11I thought I raised you better
00:51:13A high school dropout
00:51:15In the Harrison family
00:51:17Not a chance
00:51:20She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:51:26Maximus seems to like her
00:51:28Silence
00:51:28Get me the address where she works
00:51:30It's Happy Heals on Broadway
00:51:32That's nice
00:51:33We own that one
00:51:35Good work
00:51:36But take off that stupid hat
00:51:38Thanks
00:51:49So your dad insisted
00:51:50That I try this wine
00:51:52That he's been saving for 20 years
00:51:53Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law
00:51:57And how about you?
00:52:02Me?
00:52:03Yeah
00:52:04Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:11Eva
00:52:11That birthmark
00:52:23Family to me is a big commitment
00:52:26And I don't want any loose ends
00:52:28You know?
00:52:30Maximus, there's so much we don't know
00:52:32So much we're not telling each other
00:52:33No feelings, no complications
00:52:37That's what we agreed upon
00:52:38Yeah, I didn't sign a contract
00:52:40Max
00:52:42Yeah, I guess you're right
00:52:43It's cold
00:52:46Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood
00:52:49Max
00:52:51I need to tell you something
00:52:54Something important
00:52:58What's gotten into her?
00:53:01Is she hiding something?
00:53:02Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:05I haven't been completely honest with you
00:53:07Piper is
00:53:11Piper is
00:53:15Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts
00:53:17Sweetie
00:53:19Oh my gosh
00:53:20It's all swollen
00:53:21Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier
00:53:23Listen, you stay here with Daddy
00:53:25Mommy's gonna go get a first date kit, okay?
00:53:29Come on, Piper
00:53:30Okay, let me see
00:53:34I promise
00:53:38I won't let anyone
00:53:39Hurt you or Mommy again
00:53:41But that's not true
00:53:42You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:46Uh
00:53:47Daddy!
00:53:48No!
00:53:50Well
00:53:50Don't you dare disrespect my husband
00:53:58Well, maybe I don't have to leave
00:54:04Well, maybe I don't have to leave
00:54:07Really?
00:54:07Please stay, Daddy
00:54:09You think it was Scar?
00:54:16Hmm
00:54:16I wouldn't worry about it
00:54:20Scars make you look like a badass
00:54:21I have one, too
00:54:22Dad
00:54:24I got that when I was about your age
00:54:27Some punk came at me with a switchblade
00:54:30Really?
00:54:31No way
00:54:32No
00:54:33It was actually a cactus
00:54:34But it's still cool
00:54:36I have something like that on the back of my neck
00:54:40Piper
00:54:44How long have you had that?
00:54:46My mom said I had that when I was born
00:54:48And how old are you?
00:54:54Six
00:54:55Six?
00:54:56That one night stand was about seven years ago
00:54:59Okay, I found the first aid kit
00:55:01Ivar, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:07What do I even say?
00:55:08And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:10Sorry, honey
00:55:11This man's your dad
00:55:12And he didn't know you existed until now
00:55:14Um
00:55:16Yeah
00:55:17Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:21Ivar
00:55:22Okay, look
00:55:27Piper is
00:55:31Go on
00:55:37It must be an emergency
00:55:44Excuse me
00:55:46Sorry, I'll take this
00:55:48Mommy, are you okay?
00:55:56Yeah
00:55:57Mommy's just realizing she's a coward
00:56:00I don't even have the guts to tell the truth
00:56:03Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:09I'm telling you, Max
00:56:10That woman is manipulating you
00:56:12She's a high school dropout
00:56:14Doesn't even have a decent job
00:56:16And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:56:19I'm Eva's husband
00:56:20Max
00:56:21That man has no idea
00:56:23What a treasure
00:56:24He's missing out on
00:56:27I'm sorry, Max
00:56:31You can't know Piper's your daughter
00:56:33Your mother would take her away
00:56:34After Christmas
00:56:35It's over
00:56:36Eva?
00:56:40Maximus?
00:56:41Are you even listening to me?
00:56:43No, Mom, Mom
00:56:44Listen
00:56:44I'm sorry, okay?
00:56:46Eva's my wife
00:56:47And I've made up my mind
00:56:48I'm not leaving her
00:56:49Eva?
00:56:57Thank you
00:56:59Is this for you, Grandma?
00:57:10Oh, wow
00:57:11That's so cool
00:57:12What did you make?
00:57:14Derek, this is from Eva and I
00:57:17Oh, thank you so much
00:57:19Thanks, guys
00:57:20I'm glad you're here
00:57:22Got you
00:57:24Oh
00:57:24Wow
00:57:25Damn, these are nice
00:57:27Grandpa
00:57:28Language
00:57:29Little ears
00:57:30Piper
00:57:35Do you want to go see your present?
00:57:37It's in the other room by the train set
00:57:39Here, I'll go with you
00:57:40Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:42Ready, ready?
00:57:42Grandma got run over by a reindeer
00:57:45What we got, guys?
00:57:46Walking home from our house
00:57:47Christmas Eve
00:57:48You never told me
00:57:53Have we met before?
00:58:02Have we met before?
00:58:04She's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:58:07I don't know what you're getting at
00:58:11Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper
00:58:16I don't know what you're talking about
00:58:25Lots of people have birthmarks
00:58:26They're very common
00:58:27I feel so awful
00:58:28But I can't lose my child
00:58:30No matter how I feel about him
00:58:32Maybe
00:58:35Are you okay?
00:58:39Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:44No
00:58:45I'm fine
00:58:46Um
00:58:48Oh, I almost forgot
00:58:50I got you this
00:58:54You got me a gift, too?
00:58:56Tis the season
00:58:57Open it
00:58:59Gloves
00:59:13Did you make these?
00:59:16Yeah
00:59:16I know this is a fake marriage
00:59:19But that's Christmas
00:59:20You've already done so much for me
00:59:22I just wanted to do a little something for you
00:59:24How did I feel?
00:59:28Warm, right?
00:59:30Yeah
00:59:30Warm
00:59:32Soft
00:59:34Perfect
00:59:37Thank you, Eva
00:59:42I've never gotten anything this meaningful before
00:59:45Really?
00:59:47Yeah, my mom
00:59:50She partied all the time
00:59:51And I got gifts
00:59:53Plenty of them
00:59:54But
00:59:54I don't think she ever bought one herself
00:59:57Nothing personal
01:00:00Well, you deserve it
01:00:02You're a good guy
01:00:04And
01:00:06Someday you'll
01:00:07Find
01:00:08Someone special
01:00:09To
01:00:10Spend all your Christmases with
01:00:12What if that day's today
01:00:15What if I already found someone special
01:00:20Right here
01:00:23Max
01:00:48We can't
01:00:49If you want me to stop
01:00:52You better tell me right now
01:00:54Come on
01:00:59I don't want you to stop
01:01:01No matter how many years pass
01:01:09I still can't resist him
01:01:10God, you weren't trying to be fucking insane
01:01:37Piper
01:01:41Piper
01:01:41Piper
01:01:42Piper
01:01:46She can't see me
01:01:54Eva?
01:02:12Eva?
01:02:16Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:24That was way too close.
01:02:32Yeah.
01:02:33We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:38Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:43Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:47You still haven't given me mine.
01:02:49Let me give it to you.
01:03:19Why are you calling me this morning?
01:03:38Hello?
01:03:39Hello, Eva Smith.
01:03:41I'm Max's mother.
01:03:43Name your price.
01:03:44What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:47What?
01:03:48We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:03:52Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:03:56My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:00Piper is my daughter.
01:04:01And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:04So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:04:06But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:11Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:18You okay?
01:04:22Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:25So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:29What are you talking about?
01:04:31It's over.
01:04:32It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:38Eva, wait!
01:04:38So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:49Max, it's not real.
01:04:51None of it was real.
01:04:53So, it's just a goodbye.
01:04:57Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:04:59Look, last night, I let my guard down.
01:05:06But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:09And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:11Just tell me what you need.
01:05:14I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:05:18Just say the word.
01:05:20You don't get it.
01:05:27You don't get it.
01:05:35I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:42I won't give up on us.
01:05:50Are we here?
01:06:01Yes.
01:06:02As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:09Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:11We're home.
01:06:15How can she just walk away?
01:06:20Don't forget, you have to meet my mom.
01:06:27It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:29Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:32You promised.
01:06:34Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:36Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:39All right, fine.
01:06:41When?
01:06:43Two days.
01:06:44I'll come pick you up.
01:06:46No need.
01:06:47Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:06:50I know you and Mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:06:59So don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:02Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:03If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:08You should be on my internet.
01:07:21Do you want me to turn to the side of this insurance?
01:07:24Just take 10 times.
01:07:28Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:30Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:32Boss?
01:07:34Boss?
01:07:38Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:07:41I need to go win back my family.
01:07:44Family?
01:07:45Boss, you okay?
01:07:46Never better.
01:07:49Go get her, Max.
01:07:53Give it your best smile.
01:07:56Ah, there he is.
01:07:58Maximus, darling.
01:08:00I have some prospects for you.
01:08:03Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:08Oh.
01:08:10I told you.
01:08:12I already found the woman I love.
01:08:20Maximus, stop this.
01:08:22That evil woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:25Tell me what kind of woman you want
01:08:28and I'll find you another.
01:08:29Sir, you are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:32No, I'm not.
01:08:35Oh.
01:08:36I work in waste management
01:08:38and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:08:40I'm Eva's husband
01:08:41and I'm a father.
01:08:45What?
01:08:45Oh, that's her.
01:09:00The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:05Hi.
01:09:06Welcome in.
01:09:07Can I help you find something?
01:09:09I want to try those.
01:09:10Awesome.
01:09:13I'll get him for you right away.
01:09:16Are you?
01:09:17Sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:22No, no, no.
01:09:23I know what I want.
01:09:25Size seven.
01:09:28Oh, baby can't even walk,
01:09:29but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:31Come on.
01:09:32She wants the white shoes.
01:09:33Ignore her.
01:09:40She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:42Here, let me help you.
01:09:43Come on.
01:09:47She seems kind.
01:09:50I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:09:57She's just doing her job.
01:10:00How do they feel?
01:10:02Well, I love the style,
01:10:03but it's too small.
01:10:05I think I need a size up.
01:10:07Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:12Right away.
01:10:13I'll be right back.
01:10:15She's not only kind.
01:10:16She's patient.
01:10:18Was I wrong about her?
01:10:20Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:38Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:39She can't walk.
01:10:43That's just pure evil.
01:10:46Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:10:51She's in a wheelchair.
01:10:53Who cares?
01:10:53It's the last pair.
01:10:55I get paid commission.
01:11:02I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:05See?
01:11:07This is your whole problem.
01:11:09This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:13I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:16I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:19She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:22People who insult her all day?
01:11:25I'm your manager.
01:11:26Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:11:39Did I stutter?
01:11:45You don't have to fire me.
01:11:46I quit.
01:11:55I don't work here anymore.
01:11:57Listen.
01:11:58Don't buy the shoes.
01:12:00They're broken.
01:12:01Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:03You're a good person, after all.
01:12:07Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:09I'm sorry?
01:12:12Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:14Get out!
01:12:21You're not disabled?
01:12:22Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:27Absolutely shameful.
01:12:29Who are you?
01:12:30I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group
01:12:34and the owner of this store.
01:12:36You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:12:39Mother of the CEO?
01:12:41I am.
01:12:42And you, my dear, are fired.
01:12:46What did I do?
01:12:49You are a good person.
01:12:52From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:12:59Are you serious?
01:13:02That's right.
01:13:03Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:06You are professional, responsible,
01:13:10far better than that two-bit manager.
01:13:15You, out.
01:13:18I'll leave.
01:13:22I'm leaving.
01:13:22I, I, I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:28No, don't worry.
01:13:31You're getting a promotion.
01:13:33You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:38First assignment?
01:13:39I want that row,
01:13:41and that row,
01:13:43and the entire display case.
01:13:46Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:13:48Okay, yeah.
01:13:52Once we're home,
01:13:53I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:13:56I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:14:05She's the mother of a CEO.
01:14:07Of course she lives like this.
01:14:08Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:20I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:24Max?
01:14:25Eva?
01:14:26What are you doing here?
01:14:30I, uh...
01:14:31There you are, Eva!
01:14:32Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:37My new daughter-in-law.
01:14:40What are you talking...
01:14:42That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:14:49Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:14:50Stop!
01:14:52And you?
01:14:53You lied to me at the store!
01:14:56You were both just testing me?
01:14:59Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:15:00I'm sorry, Eva.
01:15:02I thought you might be using my son
01:15:04just after his money.
01:15:06But I was wrong.
01:15:07Eva, please.
01:15:08I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:15:10Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:15:14How could you think that of me?
01:15:15It's not like that, dear.
01:15:18Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:20Mom!
01:15:21What did you do?
01:15:22I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:15:25We're not together.
01:15:27And I can't love something that was never real.
01:15:29I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:36What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:38Go after her!
01:15:42Eva.
01:15:43Let me go!
01:15:44I swear, it's not what you think!
01:15:46We come from two completely different worlds.
01:15:48Stop pretending like you care!
01:15:49I'm not pretending!
01:15:51Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:15:53In everything I've done for you,
01:15:54and Piper,
01:15:55this is real.
01:15:56Touch my wife again,
01:16:02and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:16:05Max, you came.
01:16:06God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:16:11I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:16:14a good father.
01:16:15Just say the word.
01:16:16See?
01:16:21Stop fighting.
01:16:24We belong together.
01:16:27You're wrong.
01:16:29Wrong about what?
01:16:31That you care?
01:16:32Or we belong together?
01:16:34Look, I already told you.
01:16:35We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:38Now, I held up my end of the deal,
01:16:39and I met your mother,
01:16:40like we discussed.
01:16:41I want a fake divorce from my fake husband.
01:16:47Eva!
01:16:50Eva!
01:16:53I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:16:55Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:17:03Ow!
01:17:05Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:07Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:17:09Come here.
01:17:11No, you're not fine.
01:17:19You're sad.
01:17:22I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:26I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:30I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:17:35Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:39Love bug.
01:17:41You're right.
01:17:42What am I doing?
01:17:43Running like a coward?
01:17:46I've always taught you to be brave.
01:17:49Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:17:52I believe in you.
01:17:54What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:17:56I know exactly what to say to him.
01:17:58Maximus deserves to know that Piper is his daughter.
01:18:03Piper is his daughter.
01:18:04Enough sulking.
01:18:12Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:18:16Don't you think I want to be with you.
01:18:17Don't you think I want to?
01:18:19She doesn't want me.
01:18:20I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:22Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:23You can't abandon her.
01:18:25Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:27I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:18:30And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:18:34What are you talking about?
01:18:36I already ran a DNA test.
01:18:39Piper is your daughter.
01:18:41What?
01:18:42See for yourself.
01:18:49I was right.
01:18:51Seven years ago.
01:18:53New years, that woman was evil.
01:18:55Eva.
01:19:07Hey.
01:19:09Daddy.
01:19:11Daddy.
01:19:12Piper.
01:19:14I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:23You came back.
01:19:25I, uh...
01:19:28Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:38I, uh...
01:19:39I was scared.
01:19:41But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:19:44Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:19:48Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:19:52I have something to tell you, too.
01:19:55Piper is your daughter.
01:19:57Piper is your daughter.
01:19:58You knew.
01:20:00My sweet granddaughter.
01:20:01Mama.
01:20:02Oh.
01:20:06Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:20:08But you've known this whole time?
01:20:10I was scared.
01:20:11Okay?
01:20:11I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:20:14I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:20:15How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:19I love you, Eva.
01:20:33I love you, too.
01:20:34I promise.
01:20:37For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:20:41As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:20:44Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:56For real this time?
01:20:58Yes.
01:20:59Yes, of course.
01:21:01I'll marry you.
01:21:05Yes.
01:21:06Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas, and the Christmas after that, and forever.
01:21:21I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:21:28Who's that?
01:21:30Eva!
01:21:31Take me back!
01:21:36I'm sorry!
01:21:37I'm struck you, Tyler!
01:21:41Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:21:44Again.
01:21:47No?
01:21:48Not funny?
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