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Short filmTranscript
00:00Let's have some fun.
00:13Yes, let's you and me have fun.
00:15Okay.
00:21Oh.
00:23Marco.
00:24Polo!
00:25Oh, you're gonna have to catch me first.
00:27Oh, I'll get ya!
00:30You jerk!
00:35How dare you cheat on me!
00:38I'm gonna kill you!
00:40Stop!
00:42That's it!
00:43That's it!
00:44I want a divorce!
00:46Fine.
00:47You get all that?
00:49Every second.
00:52Remember to pay me and leave a glowing review on my Craigslist.
00:58You!
00:59Get back here!
01:01You can run, but you can't hide!
01:05It's just when I came prepared.
01:10Hey.
01:11Hey, have you seen the girl in the green dress?
01:15Aww.
01:16Auburn hair.
01:17Nice figure.
01:18About the store?
01:19Yeah.
01:20Oh, no.
01:21Sorry, man.
01:22I haven't seen anyone like that.
01:23Alright, thanks.
01:24I'll be back.
01:25I'll be back.
01:26I'll be back.
01:27I'll be back.
01:28I'll be back.
01:29My apologies.
01:30I'll be back.
01:31My apologies.
01:32I'll be back.
01:33I'll be back.
01:37I said I was sorry.
01:38I said I was sorry.
01:39Oh, no.
01:40I'm sorry, man.
01:41I haven't seen anyone like that.
01:42Alright.
01:43Thanks.
01:44I'll be back.
01:49I'll be back.
01:50I'll be back.
01:51I'll be back.
01:56My apologies.
01:59I said I was sorry.
02:04I need a lover.
02:09You want me to be your lover.
02:24I'll pay you $10,000 every single time we go out.
02:30Don't try and scam me, dude.
02:32Just because I'm broke doesn't mean I'm stupid, too.
02:37My name's Shannon, Nathan Shannon, from the Shannon Corporation.
02:48I can assure you, this offer is legitimate.
02:52The multi-billion dollar fortune 500 Shannon Corporation?
03:01Yes.
03:07What exactly does the esteemed Mr. Shannon need in a lover?
03:28I need a man to act like one and to sometimes trick certain people into thinking that I am indeed not available.
03:41You had me at trick people.
03:44Mr. Shannon.
03:46Mr. Shannon.
03:47Caroline, daughter of William Vanderbilt.
03:49She's gonna arrive any minute.
03:50What did I say about keeping my grandmother's speed dating on my calendar?
03:55Would you like to find another executive to assist?
03:58No, I do not, Mr. Shannon.
04:00Nathan.
04:01Caroline.
04:02Who might this be?
04:05Oh, this, um, my business partner.
04:11You know, Nathan, there are rumors about it.
04:17It's true.
04:30He is gay.
04:32Oh, you got something right here.
04:57Do you mind if I, um...
04:58Right there.
04:59On the top, right.
05:00Oh.
05:05There we go.
05:06Great.
05:07Much better.
05:09Maybe I'll make a mess of my face tomorrow.
05:13This is insane.
05:14You are gay and you're still trying to marry girls.
05:18I'm gonna tell the whole world who you really are.
05:22Sorry.
05:23How's my acting, boss?
05:30Decent.
05:32Well, if you have any tips, all ears.
05:46Doctor, I have enough of my grandpa's surgery.
05:48Rich Gaines, as I've told you before, the cost of continued care is substantial.
05:52I would suggest...
05:53Please!
05:56I won't give up on him.
05:58I'll figure it out.
06:18I'll figure it out.
06:19Put it out.
06:20Nathan Shannon.
06:50I'm counting on you.
06:56Do you have any more gigs like yesterday?
07:14I've been working on my acting chops.
07:16Not at the moment.
07:18We shared a moment of affection, didn't we?
07:23That was business.
07:25Nothing else.
07:27What do you know?
07:29When we kiss.
07:37Wow.
07:39Mr. Shannon is.
07:40Maybe he does something that way.
07:43Because I'm not afraid.
07:48Please, keep your distance from me.
07:51You will never be fit to be my employee and that's final.
07:54Nathan!
07:56Did you miss me?
08:00Are you still looking for a personal assistant?
08:03Well, good news.
08:04I have graciously decided to take on the position.
08:07Um, Vivian, no.
08:09Actually, I have one.
08:10Harold is your executive assistant, Celie.
08:13Someone as successful as yourself should have a personal assistant as well.
08:17Mr. Shannon.
08:18I thought I wasn't good enough to be your employee.
08:32Well, you're not.
08:33But you do possess one unique advantage.
08:35What might that be?
08:37You're a man.
08:57You're a man.
09:02Jesse?
09:09That is you!
09:12Ah!
09:13What are you doing here?
09:15And why are you dressed like that?
09:16I mean, this is so...
09:17I'll explain later.
09:18Okay?
09:19You're not...
09:25I can't believe you are my boss's new personal assistant.
09:29And as a dude...
09:30It's all for my grandpa's medical bills.
09:33Hey, at work...
09:35Can you act like you don't know me?
09:37Just in case.
09:38Sure.
09:39Tighter.
09:40Okay.
09:41Okay.
09:42Help your hair.
09:47Fuck.
09:48Oh, fuck.
09:49Oh, fuck.
09:50Oh, fuck.
09:52Fuck.
09:53Oh, fuck.
09:56That's funny.
10:04Oh, fuck.
10:06Oh, fuck.
10:07Oh, fuck.
10:08Oh, fuck.
10:10I'm like, I'm just kidding.
10:11I have to go now, because I'm wrong.
10:12You're right.
10:13I can't believe you're right.
10:14Jessie!
10:16My sincerest apologies, Mr. Shannon. Let me wipe that off.
10:32No, no, no. Don't touch that.
10:34Hey! No, no, seriously. I can handle it. And you can leave.
10:44It's just a jar of paper. Of course, boss.
11:03Rocket!
11:08Take this.
11:11Don't forget about me.
11:15I'll come back for you once in a while.
11:20I'll find you, Starlight.
11:22I'll find you, Starlight.
11:33I'll find you, Starlight.
11:35I'll find you, Starlight.
11:36I'll find you.
11:37I'll find you.
11:38I'll find you.
11:39I'll find you.
11:41Jessie!
11:44What are you doing? Creep!
11:46This is a woman's bathroom!
11:49Oh, come on! Let's go!
11:52Shhh!
11:53Come on, Jessie!
11:54This...
11:56It's just nice.
12:15You gonna pee?
12:17Stop.
12:25Shy turtle.
12:27Excuse me?
12:29Insecure about your size.
12:36It's all good.
12:40It's not about the size of the ship.
12:44It's about the motion of the ocean.
12:46That's what the ladies care about.
12:52Sorry.
12:55I just get insecure around other men.
12:59Especially men who are so well.
13:03Could we perhaps avoid sharing restroom visits in the future?
13:09Yeah, no problem.
13:11Thank you so much.
13:14Nathan!
13:15Okay.
13:16What are you doing here?
13:18Okay.
13:20What are you doing here?
13:21Okay.
13:22What are you doing here?
13:23Well, Grandma asked me to step in as manager.
13:25She wants me to help assist in the day-to-day operations.
13:27Okay.
13:28Okay.
13:29What are you doing here?
13:30Okay.
13:31What are you doing here?
13:32Okay.
13:33What are you doing here?
13:34Okay.
13:35What are you doing here?
13:36Well, Grandma asked me to step in as manager.
13:38She wants me to help assist in the day-to-day operations.
13:39Okay.
13:40We don't need a manager.
13:41Also, I'm hosting a party tonight to get to know everyone from the office and you must come.
13:49Uh, Vivian.
13:50It's Mr. Shannon at work.
13:51Okay, great.
13:52Fine.
13:53But if you don't show, I'm telling Grandma.
13:54I'll go.
13:55I'll go.
13:56Just leave, please.
13:57Good.
13:58Make sure Mr. Shannon does not check tonight.
13:59It's better that you don't know but just keep him sober.
14:14No matter what.
14:15Write it down.
14:16Okay.
14:17Held.
14:18This paragraph needs to be a review.
14:20Okay.
14:21I'll write that down, Sarah.
14:23Okay.
14:24I'll write that down, Sarah.
14:25I'll write that down, Sarah.
14:30You can't hear this.
14:31Jessie, stay in your lane.
14:46Okay, Nathan and I are practically engaged and you're just a lowly employee.
14:51But I thought Mr. Shannon shouldn't drink.
14:53He's a grown man.
14:54He'll be fine.
14:55Well, he should at least know if he's drinking.
15:00You are just an expendable employee.
15:04Money is your real boss.
15:09After he drinks that, take him to this room.
15:14Do it.
15:15And there's plenty more where that came from.
15:16Do it.
15:17And there's plenty more where that came from.
15:21Heeey!
15:24Hey...
15:33Nice picture.
15:37Yes!
15:38That was interesting to him.
15:39Bob!
15:40Boss!
15:41Oh.
15:42I love you.
15:49Boss.
15:50She's a lot.
15:52Drunk man can get it a better way, yeah?
15:56Yeah, he's a great.
16:12When is Vivian showing up?
16:20I don't want to babysit you all night.
16:22Whoa.
16:24Yeah, you can do it.
16:26As a boy.
16:28Oh.
16:30Yeah.
16:34Harold was right.
16:36I'm wondering can you turn into a child?
16:38Cut it out.
16:42Hey.
16:44Pick up your shoes and get ready for her.
16:46Yes, sir.
16:48Yes, sir.
16:56Good little soldier.
17:12How about a little dance?
17:22Can you get on the wall?
17:24Ha ha ha.
17:26Can you get on the wall?
17:28I'm gonna get on the wall.
17:30I'm gonna get on the wall.
17:32I'm gonna get on the wall.
17:34I'm gonna get on the wall.
17:36How about...
17:38putting me a check for a hundred thousand?
17:40Boss.
17:42Ha ha.
17:44Whatever you want I guess.
17:46Yeah.
18:04Jesus.
18:06Woooo.
18:07Yes, sir.
18:08Ha ha.
18:10I'm not, I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't, that was, that wasn't.
18:23I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't, that was, that wasn't.
18:53I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I
19:23Why are you here?
19:53You were really drunk last night. I took care of you. You were a lot to deal with.
20:07Last night, but I don't remember anything from last night.
20:20You two slept together last night?
20:24I guess so.
20:26Huh. Very well.
20:31Miss White!
20:35What did you think? Nothing happened between us.
20:38Is this how you do your job, Jessie?
20:40I was waiting for you in room 606 all night.
20:43Wait, 606?
20:48It was supposed to be room 909. Not the brightest bulb, are you, Jessie?
21:01Miss White, I was wrong.
21:05Can I still keep the ring?
21:08What a waste.
21:12Miss White!
21:14I heard that he's the reason why Mr. Shannon is abandoned.
21:18What?!
21:19He will pay dearly.
21:33You added an extra zero to that client's contract.
21:38That's impossible. I always double check before I send.
21:40Velvet Vines Bar, tonight.
21:42You need to get the client to sign a corrected version.
21:45Be able to do so in the weight of this mistake.
21:48We'll crush you.
21:54Oh, why not just firing him?
21:56That would be letting him off Casey.
21:58Mr. Fritz is a vile pervert.
22:01I want Jessie to suffer.
22:10Hey, Mr. Shannon?
22:11We may have a serious problem.
22:13Mr. Fritz?
22:21Mr. Fritz?
22:32Mr. Fritz?
22:33I'm Mr. Shannon's assistant.
22:36I made a mistake.
22:38Would you be so kind as to sign this corrected contract?
22:43Contract?
22:44Sure.
22:47But first...
22:53You play my game.
22:58You like my game.
23:03Harder!
23:04Harder!
23:07Harder!
23:08Harder! Harder! Harder!
23:15I'm sorry. I just... I can't. This isn't me.
23:24How disappointing.
23:28Please just sign the contract, Mr. Fritz.
23:33Bindle.
23:37Mr. Fritz?
23:38Bindle. Take your punishment, and I'm in the contract.
24:02Jesse, are you okay? Come here. Come here.
24:06Mr. Fritz. He's a colleague of mine. It was a mistake.
24:13A contract is a government.
24:15I see. Well, if that's the case, then just do me a favor, please. Sign the contract.
24:23And who's doing me anything? Get him!
24:29Okay.
24:31See these hands? They're not just for signing contracts.
24:36Let's go. Come on.
24:40Let's go. Come on.
24:45Get him! Get him!
24:49Let's go. Come on.
24:54Get him! Get him!
24:56Mr. Shane, how did you know...
25:05Mr. Shane, how did you know...
25:07Are we cleared?
25:20Are we clear?
25:31What the fuck?
25:34Nathan?
25:41Nathan?
25:50Nathan?
26:00What do we do?
26:08What do we do?
26:10Oh, you're sweating. Do you have low blood sugar?
26:27I don't want sweets. I don't want to sweat on sweets.
26:30Now isn't the time to be picky.
26:32I don't have low blood sugar. I just don't like the dark and cramped spaces.
26:41You're claustrophobic.
26:48How about I sing to distract you?
26:55Catch a bowling star and put it in your pocket.
26:59Never let it fade away.
27:02Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket.
27:06Save it for a rainy day.
27:10Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket.
27:15Never let it fade away.
27:19Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket.
27:23Save it for a rainy day.
27:25What is your nickname Starlight?
27:27starlight. Doesn't it look like a star?
27:31Wow. Yeah. Give me a secret. Shhh.
27:35Don't tell her.
27:39More love may come and tap you on your shoulder
27:43some starless night and just
27:47in case you feel you want to hold her.
27:57Who are you really?
28:05Who are you?
28:07You okay?
28:09I'm Jesse,
28:13your personal assistant.
28:21Stay away from me. I don't like men.
28:23My heart belongs to somebody else.
28:27Mr. Shannon! Jesse!
28:47Why was Mr. Shannon acting so weird today?
28:57How dare you ask Nathan
29:01to fight for you? A man of his stature
29:03shouldn't be doing dirty work like that.
29:05Especially for the likes of you.
29:07You should resign
29:09before I really lose my temper.
29:11Oh, yeah.
29:13I'll totally resign immediately.
29:15You better.
29:17I'm always being sarcastic.
29:19I'm not afraid of you.
29:23Do you know who I am?
29:25I can ruin a poor nobody's life like yours like...
29:29that.
29:31Do you know who I am?
29:33I can ruin a poor nobody's life like yours like...
29:37that.
29:39Well, you don't know who I am,
29:41or what I've been for.
29:43No!
29:45What the...
29:47Oh, not so tough now, huh?
29:48What's wrong with you?
29:49Huh?
29:50Animal?
29:51What the...
29:52How dare you?
29:53I...
29:54I stepped in some dog shit this morning.
29:56You considered a free mud bath.
29:57I am going to kill you!
29:59I am going to kill you!
30:00Hey!
30:01Hey!
30:02What the hell is going on here?
30:04Nathan!
30:05Look what he did to my face!
30:07Fire him!
30:08Now!
30:09Enough!
30:10Enough!
30:11Please!
30:12Jesus.
30:15Enough!
30:16Please!
30:17You know, I might do the exact same thing to somebody
30:19who tried to forge a contract to get me fired.
30:22And if we're talking about firing someone today...
30:25Vivian, you are at the top of my list.
30:31Ah!
30:32It's so hard!
30:40Great, thank you very much.
30:41Okay, looking forward.
30:42Bye.
30:43Mr. Shannon,
30:44I am pleased to inform you that we have surpassed our sales target.
30:47This is beautiful.
30:50This isn't working.
30:54Hey, what size shoe are you?
30:55Seven...
30:57and...
30:58and a half.
30:59Not bad.
31:00It's quite small for a grown man.
31:05But it's your lucky day.
31:06You might be in some good hands, huh?
31:09Let's see.
31:10Yes.
31:11Seven and a half.
31:12Right.
31:13These were given to me by a friend, but they don't fit.
31:16They're much too small.
31:17So, here.
31:18For you.
31:19You have very generous friends.
31:29These look expensive.
31:34Over a hundred bucks?
31:36That barely covers the lease.
31:37Those are for a lease.
31:38Try $5,000 a pair.
31:39Ms. Shannon bought eight different sizes.
31:40Harold, please.
31:41I'm going to book you a one-way ticket to Siberia.
31:42There's a lumberjack out there who's in need of an executive assistant.
31:43Please.
31:44I can't accept such a lavish gift.
31:45Yes, you can.
31:46A raise would be just fine.
31:47Is money seriously the only thing that you think about?
31:48Well.
31:49These fancy shoes are great.
31:50No.
31:51No.
31:52No.
31:53No.
31:54No.
31:55No.
31:56No.
31:57No.
31:58No.
31:59No.
32:00No.
32:01No.
32:02No.
32:03No.
32:04No.
32:05No.
32:06No.
32:07No.
32:08No.
32:09No.
32:10No.
32:11No.
32:12No.
32:13No.
32:14No.
32:15No.
32:16No.
32:17No.
32:18No.
32:19No.
32:20No.
32:21No.
32:22No.
32:23No.
32:24No.
32:25No.
32:26No.
32:27No.
32:28No.
32:29No.
32:30No.
32:31No.
32:32No.
32:33No.
32:34No.
32:35No.
32:36No.
32:37No.
32:38Oh, wow.
32:41So, you just, uh, first of all, you've got to get him attached.
32:48Oh, my goodness.
32:49Hello?
32:51Thanks for having me.
32:53Mr. Shannon!
33:00Yeah.
33:08Mr. Shannon!
33:13Not now!
33:15Where's he going?
33:16Someone reported Starlight at the bar.
33:25Whoa, whoa, whoa.
33:26When's the rush?
33:27Should we take this?
33:29Have a drink with me.
33:30I can't.
33:35Hey, Starlight.
33:36I'm here.
33:37Thank you, Mr.
33:38Look, say your prayers, freak.
33:41Starlight, it's me.
33:43Rocket, don't you remember?
33:47Yeah.
33:51Crepe?
33:52My niece do that for me.
33:59This is just a big misunderstanding, guys.
34:01I'm gonna enjoy this.
34:03Nice one.
34:04Nice one.
34:10Let's go.
34:11Let's go.
34:12Let's go.
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