00:00Because my life got blown up like this, I really feel like part of me died when they died, right?
00:06And so I feel like I'm living like this second life is the best way to describe it.
00:15The beginning of like right after was just survival.
00:19Like I didn't work at all until like March, right?
00:23It took me a while to even get my stuff together to like plan the funeral.
00:27Watching your family be put into the ground is like, I don't know, it was one of the worst things and I was just so angry.
00:35That was the first time I had really felt anger, you know?
00:38It was just sort of like disgusting to watch your daughter go into the ground.
00:42I don't know how else to describe it.
00:45My son saw me cry and that's good for him, but it's also hard for him because he doesn't, it's overwhelming to him.
00:51He's traumatized too.
00:52Over the summer, like he finally kind of opened up about how sad he was.
00:56He was, you know, he used to be scared to go to bed and I think that's because the big feelings would come up at bedtime.
01:02And then we came up with this ritual as part of his like bedtime routine to look at pictures and videos together for five minutes every night and share memories.
01:10The first three months I slept in the bottom bunk of his bunk bed because when he used to go to sleep, his mom used to crawl in.
01:18She was tiny, right?
01:19And so she would crawl in the top bunk with him and snuggle with him.
01:21And so like, I didn't want to leave him alone.
01:24They were just people that you wanted to be around, that they were people that brought joy to other people's lives.
01:34You know, Brielle was someone where the girls would jump out of their seats when she showed up at the rink.
01:38And that, you know, my late wife was as supportive as a mother that you could ask for, right?
01:45Her and I dedicated our lives to building a family and raising the kids and helping them achieve their dreams and trying to provide unconditional love and happiness.
01:55So I was just so lucky to have them in my life and I, you know, nothing can ever replace them.
02:02Me and Callan have to have hope for the future and live in the present, but we're never gonna, you know, forget what they meant to us.
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