- 13 hours ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00There were three seconds left, and everyone knew I was taking the last shot.
00:05Hi, I'm Epo-Epo-Porky Pig.
00:07Yeah, that's great. I'm Daffy Duck, the guy who didn't ask.
00:11Now beat it!
00:13Now where was I?
00:14Oh, right.
00:15So I get the ball, the clock starts ticking,
00:19three, two, nothing but net.
00:24Daffy Duck gets all the pretty girls.
00:28Is this she taken?
00:29No, it's right there. You're looking right at it.
00:34Greetings. I'm Marvin, the foreign exchange student.
00:40Oh, where are you from?
00:42Mars.
00:44Well, ladies, I better get to class.
00:47Those straight A's aren't going to make themselves.
00:51Hi, Daffy.
00:52Well, aren't you sweet?
00:54In fact, the only thing sweeter than you is that cake over there.
00:58Hey, cake for the lady.
01:00You know what? Cake for everybody.
01:02It's on me.
01:08Are you nerds enjoying the cake?
01:10It's stupendous.
01:12Yum.
01:12Is it really on you?
01:14No.
01:15It's on you!
01:19Daffy Duck!
01:20Daffy Duck!
01:21Daffy Duck!
01:22Daffy Duck!
01:23All right, I'll do it.
01:26Do what?
01:27I'm hosting the bachelor auction for charity.
01:29And I ask the bugs to be in it.
01:31What am I, invisible?
01:32I'm the most eligible bachelor here.
01:35What's the charity?
01:36Literacy.
01:37That's my favorite charity.
01:39There's too much literacy in the world.
01:41We need to fight against literacy.
01:43Uh, Daffy.
01:45The fight is for literacy.
01:47What?
01:48Who's for literacy?
01:49Our highways and byways are covered in litter.
01:52I, for one, think it should be a crime.
01:55Littering is a crime.
01:57You went to jail for it.
01:58Literacy is the ability to read and write.
02:02Oh, then count me in.
02:04O-N-N.
02:07Hmm?
02:07This, I say, this is the opening scene of the movie.
02:16Where I say goodbye to my wonderful mama forever.
02:19She's gonna say her line, and then you break down and cry like a baby.
02:23Just like I did.
02:28I say, I say, action!
02:30Son.
02:31I say, son.
02:33Remember what I always told you.
02:35It's not the treasure.
02:38It's the quest.
02:41Ah.
02:57Cry!
03:00Your mama's gone!
03:03Boo-hoo-hoo, man!
03:05I'm crying so hard!
03:08I say, I say, and look at how hard I cry!
03:13Don't say it, son.
03:14Do it!
03:23You're laughing?
03:25I don't know.
03:25I'm grasping at straws here.
03:27I mean, she's not giving me anything.
03:29Can't somebody get me a real actress to work with?
03:31You heard him.
03:32Somebody help that woman out of that bed so we can put a real actress in it.
03:36Should I buy a new TV?
03:38Or should I buy one of those massage chairs?
03:40Ha!
03:41Tough life.
03:43What are you wearing?
03:44Mall pants.
03:45What kind of pants?
03:46Mall pants.
03:47Pants you wear to the mall.
03:48As a sign of respect.
03:49So why aren't you wearing a shirt?
03:52Too much respect.
03:53It's the mall, not church.
03:55Awful I can't afford a shirt.
03:57I suppose I could buy the TV and just go somewhere for a massage.
04:03Whoa.
04:04Uh-oh.
04:05My mall pants.
04:07You know what?
04:07I'm just going to buy both.
04:11No mall underwear, huh?
04:30Eh, a little salty.
04:31But I gotta say, it's a pleasure having somebody cook for me.
04:35How can you be so relaxed?
04:36We're in prison.
04:38Jail.
04:38The big house.
04:39We're up the river.
04:40We're down the creek.
04:41We're two bricks short of a load.
04:42There's no I in team.
04:44You gotta fight for your right to party.
04:48Party's over.
04:52Hmm.
04:54Hmm.
04:57Hmm.
04:58Do you have any fours?
05:02Daffy, we're playing chess.
05:04Ah.
05:08Was it Colonel Snow in the pantry with a candlestick?
05:13Do you even know how to play chess?
05:15Of course I do.
05:18Huh?
05:19Jim!
05:19Our next bachelor is...
05:21Let's keep this money train rolling, ladies.
05:26Daffy has no job.
05:28And no education.
05:30And a credit score of a negative 13.
05:34Let's start the bidding at $50.
05:38Anyone?
05:44It's for a charity.
05:48Tax deductible.
05:50Gross.
05:51Well, we tried.
05:52Our next bachelor...
05:53Too big.
05:54All right.
05:56Sold.
06:00Oh, my bachelor.
06:02Knock off the pleasantries, Grandma.
06:04Let's get this date over with.
06:06So what's the plan?
06:07Dinner?
06:07Movie?
06:08Moonlight stroll on the beach?
06:10I thought we'd clean out my attic.
06:12Clean your attic?
06:14What's romantic about that?
06:15I'm a 90-year-old woman.
06:18Get your mind out of the gutter.
06:20You sure you don't want to start with the living room?
06:28And now, here's your host, with the most, Chuck Burroughs.
06:34Hey, thanks, everybody.
06:36Let's meet our contestants.
06:37First up, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.
06:41What's up, Doc?
06:42It's a pleasure to be here, Chuck.
06:44I'm a big fan.
06:45Tell me, how long have you two known each other?
06:47Seventeen years.
06:48Five years?
06:50Looks like you two better get on the same page.
06:53And now, let's meet your challengers.
06:56Hello.
06:56Hello.
06:57Oh, I'm sorry.
06:58After you.
06:58Oh, no.
06:59After you?
06:59No, after you.
07:00I insist.
07:00I insist more.
07:01I have an idea.
07:03Oh, you always have good ideas.
07:05I can hardly wait to hear.
07:06Well, you won't have to wait.
07:07I'm about to tell you.
07:08Oh, goody.
07:09My idea is that we both speak simultaneously.
07:12Wonderful idea.
07:13Hello.
07:14Hello.
07:14Bugs and Daffy, looks like you've got some stiff competition.
07:20Okay, here's the first question.
07:21What is your roommate's favorite vegetable?
07:25Your favorite vegetable?
07:28Hmm.
07:29I'm going to go with beef, Chuck.
07:33Uh-oh.
07:34The correct answer was carrots.
07:36You know what that means.
07:38Now, son, in that box.
07:44I say, in that box, you believe is the Burmese turtle.
07:47It's what you've wanted your whole life.
07:49Now, after you say your line, you will start running,
07:52which will be my cue to press this button,
07:54causing an elaborate chain reaction,
07:56which will destroy the entire set.
07:58So we only have one shot at this.
08:00Are you ready?
08:01I was born ready.
08:02Let's shoot this, you turkeys!
08:04Action!
08:11I say, I say, the Burmese turtle is mine!
08:19Quick question!
08:21When's lunch?
08:24Huh?
08:24Ah!
08:33Ah!
08:44Ah!
08:45Ah!
08:47Ah!
08:51Ah!
08:53Ah!
08:53Can I help you?
09:09Gaffey Duck. Picking up my business cards.
09:16How's the wizard business going?
09:19Great. Lots of magic, spells, things like that.
09:21That'll be $215.25.
09:24That seems awfully high.
09:26Price reduce! Reduce!
09:36Give me a job application.
09:42Name? Address? Gender?
09:44What is this? Soviet Russia?
09:48Yeah, I don't want to work here anyway.
09:50Not in that stupid uniform.
09:53I'll take a banana split.
09:56Oh, one scoop vanilla.
09:58One scoop chocolate.
10:00One scoop strawberry.
10:04Oh, put the strawberry in the middle.
10:07And now hot fudge.
10:09Oh, only on the vanilla and chocolate.
10:11Put regular fudge on the strawberry.
10:13Now some whipped cream.
10:15Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, easy.
10:17Little more, little more, little more only on the vanilla.
10:22Kind of filling that space right there.
10:24Stop!
10:26Now some nuts.
10:29Oh, no nut dust.
10:31Now this is the complicated part.
10:34No green sprinkles on the chocolate.
10:36Yes, green sprinkles on the strawberry.
10:37But both no red sprinkles.
10:40Except on the vanilla.
10:41Which should receive exclusively red sprinkles.
10:46That'll be $5.85.
10:49I've only got 16 cents.
10:53Get the rest from your tip jar.
10:57Hey, Daffy.
10:58I thought the gang could use some snacks.
11:15Courtesy of yours truly.
11:17How wonderful.
11:18Thanks, Daffy.
11:19I took a 20 out of your wallet.
11:21Daffy, you're the best.
11:23We couldn't ask for a more generous team, Captain.
11:27There's more where that came from.
11:29There's more where that came from, right?
11:31Oh.
11:32Oh, guess what?
11:34It's time for me to assign everyone their weekly nicknames.
11:38Ooh, this is my favorite part.
11:41Porky, your nickname tonight?
11:44The Porkinator.
11:45Pete, your nickname?
11:51The Peteinator.
11:54Oh, I like it.
11:56Uh, Daffy?
11:57Hold on.
11:58Marvin, your nickname?
12:01The Marvinator.
12:02Nope.
12:03The, uh, uh, uh...
12:05Okay, yeah.
12:06The Marvinator.
12:08Daffy?
12:09I said hold on, the Porkinator.
12:11And finally, since I am the team captain,
12:15my nickname will be...
12:17The Grand Poobah.
12:18Wait.
12:20Make that...
12:21Poobah the Grand.
12:25Porky, I changed my mind.
12:27You're Player Four.
12:28Now, let's bow!
12:33All right, team.
12:34Now, if we're gonna win the tournament this year,
12:36we're gonna have to step up our game.
12:45And that's how you do it!
12:48Hooray!
12:49Hooray!
12:50Yes!
12:50Way to go, Duck!
12:52Way to go, Duck!
12:52Well, if it isn't Daffy Duck...
12:55Or should I say, Daffy Dumb?
13:04Laugh now, Terry,
13:05because you'll be crying
13:07when we wipe the floor with you at the tournament.
13:09I don't think so.
13:10This is our year.
13:12Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
13:14It's never your year, Terry!
13:16Would you please state your name for the court?
13:19Eh, but, uh, Porky Pig.
13:20What's the matter?
13:22Are you nervous?
13:23I mean, I mean, I'm not nervous.
13:25You sure sound nervous.
13:28Eh, but, this is what I always, eh, so, eh, so...
13:30Maybe you're nervous because you're lying!
13:33But, eh, but, I'm not...
13:34Maybe you're lying because you don't want us to know
13:36your true identity!
13:38And the reason you don't want us to know
13:43your true identity
13:44is because you, sir,
13:46are the litterer!
13:52And a collective gasp
13:55fills the courtroom.
13:58Are we done here?
14:01Are you not wearing pants?
14:07Where's the gift shop?
14:08Please state your name for the court?
14:13Bugs Bunny.
14:15Mr. Bunny,
14:16where were you on the night of November 10th?
14:18Uh, I'm not sure.
14:20But, uh, didn't this happen in the daytime on June 1st?
14:23Ha ha!
14:24And how would you know that
14:25if you were not guilty of this heinous crime?
14:27Ladies and gentlemen,
14:28here is your litterer!
14:29Daffy,
14:30just paid the fine.
14:32Hostile witness!
14:32Oh, you called this hostile?
14:36This is not hostile.
14:37If you want hostile,
14:39I'll give you hostile.
14:41Objection!
14:42Overruled!
14:43That's what I say!
14:44What?
14:45Overruled!
14:45Sustained!
14:46Keep this up,
14:47and I'll hold you both in contempt of court.
14:49I apologize for my friend,
14:51your highness.
14:52Now, if I may,
14:54what do we know?
14:56The piece of litter in question?
14:59A can of soda.
15:01So,
15:01it would fit that the litterer
15:03must like soda.
15:04It may surprise the court to learn
15:07that I,
15:08Daffy Duck,
15:09despise soda.
15:12Is anyone even listening here?
15:17The point is,
15:18I can't possibly be the litterer
15:20because I don't like soda.
15:23And if the soda gets spit,
15:25you must acquit!
15:25Order!
15:40You're both held in contempt
15:42and will be placed in jail immediately.
15:44Bailiff,
15:45take them away!
15:51Next question.
15:53What is your best friend's middle name?
15:55That's an easy one.
15:58Sheldon.
16:02Armando?
16:04You know what that means.
16:09Bugs and Daffy,
16:10you've got some catching up to do.
16:12And you're gonna have a chance
16:13after the break.
16:17Daffy,
16:18your middle name is Sheldon.
16:20That may be true,
16:22but Armando sounds cooler.
16:24Well,
16:24do you want to sound cool
16:26or do you want to win?
16:27I want to win!
16:29Well,
16:30then we need a new strategy.
16:32In the next round,
16:32whatever you're about to say,
16:34say the opposite.
16:36That's a great idea!
16:37I mean,
16:38that's a horrible idea.
16:42Hello,
16:43competitors.
16:43Hello!
16:44We wanted to wish you luck.
16:46Thanks.
16:47Don't you want to wish us luck?
16:48Not particularly.
16:50I'll wish you luck.
16:51Why,
16:51thank you,
16:52and good luck to you as well.
16:57Welcome back
16:58to Besties,
17:00the show about
17:01best friends.
17:02Remember,
17:03say the opposite.
17:05Tell me,
17:06who does your best friend
17:07most admire?
17:10I want to say me,
17:11but I guess I'll go with...
17:13Groucho Marx?
17:15That's correct!
17:18I was gonna say,
17:20take your daughter to work day,
17:22but instead I'll say...
17:24Thanksgiving?
17:26Correct.
17:26Everything in me
17:29is saying rockabilly,
17:31but I'll go with smooth jazz.
17:34Correct!
17:39My gut says chocolate milk,
17:41but I'm gonna go with Australia.
17:45Correct!
17:49This final question
17:50is worth 300 points.
17:53What is your best friend's
17:55catchphrase?
17:57If friends were flowers,
17:58I'd pick you.
18:00No, no.
18:01It's laugh,
18:02and the world laughs with you.
18:05Uh-oh.
18:06You know what that means.
18:10Oh, feathers!
18:12Oh, what fun!
18:13It's like a pillow fight!
18:18Bugs and Daffy,
18:19now you have a chance to win.
18:22Daffy,
18:22what is Bugs Bunny's catchphrase?
18:24Hmm.
18:25Think.
18:26Catchphrase.
18:27Really?
18:28I say it all the time.
18:30I know this.
18:31I know this.
18:32It's sort of my go-to phrase.
18:34It's right on the tip of my tongue.
18:36It's in the form of a question.
18:38I say it with a lot of sarcasm.
18:41Eh.
18:43I don't do Mondays!
18:47Oh, I'm sorry.
18:48We were looking for...
18:50What's up, Doc?
18:51And...
18:54Say it with me.
18:55You know what that means!
19:02Unbelievable!
19:03Wait, I'm out of here.
19:05I'm done.
19:06You blew the entire stunt.
19:08Way to go, turkey.
19:09I'm a rooster!
19:12Union guys.
19:14Well, if you win some, you lose some.
19:15Gotta know when to hold them, when to fold them.
19:17Four score in seven years.
19:18You know what I mean?
19:19Are you quitting on me, son?
19:20Everybody else quit, so I quit.
19:22Mob mentality.
19:23I guess I was wrong about you, son.
19:26What's that supposed to mean?
19:28Roosters are loyal.
19:30Roosters never quit.
19:31Roosters...
19:31I say roosters fight to the end.
19:35And, son, you are no rooster.
19:39Did you just call me a no rooster?
19:42What are you gonna do about it, huh, son?
19:45I say, what are you gonna do about it?
19:47I'm ruining my manicure.
20:12Give me your quarter.
20:12I'm starting to think the odds of winning the lottery are pretty low.
20:16Three sixes?
20:18Three sixes!
20:20I won!
20:20I won the lottery!
20:22I'm rich!
20:23We can go to your reunion.
20:25I mean, you can go to your reunion.
20:27I'm so happy for you.
20:28Happy and jealous.
20:30Mostly jealous.
20:32I'm rich!
20:34I'm rich!
20:35I knew I didn't peak in high school.
20:39Daffy, you didn't get three sixes.
20:41You were holding it upside down.
20:43You got three nines.
20:46Besides, you were playing Lucky Eights.
20:49This is hopeless.
20:53Excuse me.
20:54Do you have a quarter for the parking meter?
20:56No.
20:56But you're holding a quarter.
20:58What?
20:58This?
20:59This isn't a quarter.
21:00That's not a quarter?
21:02No.
21:02This is a fake.
21:03I'm Agent Jimmy Glass, and this is Agent Ira Bunnells, and we're with the Treasury Department.
21:07We're investigating a highly illegal counterfeit operation in the area.
21:10I'm going to need to see your wallet.
21:13Oh, uh, of course.
21:14Yep, this one looks a little iffy.
21:19Going to have to run some tests.
21:20Now get out of here.
21:21But keep your eyes and ears open.
21:23That's it.
21:24I thought in order to go to the reunion, you needed to be someone you're not.
21:28A success.
21:28Yes.
21:29But it turns out, you should just go with someone you already are.
21:33A liar.
21:34You want me to go to the reunion and just lie about how successful I am?
21:39That's a horrible idea.
21:42I'm lying.
21:43It's a great idea.
21:45Or was that a lie?
21:48This lying could get out of control.
21:51Or is that a lie?
21:53The lying is in control.
21:57Oh, brother.
21:59Well, after high school, I just had to get away from it all.
22:04Get back to what's important.
22:06The land.
22:08I've got about 30,000 acres in Montana.
22:12Probably about 50,000 head of cattle.
22:16That's about two heads of cattle per acre.
22:19Yeah.
22:19I love a cattle drive.
22:25Too much spitting.
22:27I signed up after graduation.
22:29I heard the call of duty and I answered.
22:33Oh, this?
22:34What you call heroism?
22:36I call duty.
22:38Believe me.
22:39When you're doing your duty, you don't think about the fact that you're doing your duty.
22:43It's your duty.
22:44You just do it.
22:46You do your duty.
22:47Too much saying the word, duty.
22:51I'm Batman.
22:59Excellent work, Giuseppe.
23:04How's work at the ice cream shop?
23:06It was fine until some joke came in and ordered the world's most complicated banana split.
23:12Hey, I like what I like.
23:15Back on the ladder, Giuseppe.
23:16You missed that spot.
23:18Uh-uh-uh.
23:19Not on the chair.
23:20It's calfskin.
23:22Uh-uh.
23:22That's ivory.
23:23Well, where am I supposed to put it?
23:26Why don't you put it back on and make us dinner?
23:28And try not ruining it like you did breakfast.
23:31You asked him to eat.
23:40But first of all, I'm gone.
23:42I'm not at home.
23:43We need room.
23:44We need room.
23:44We need room.
23:44We need room.
23:45We need room.
23:45We need room.
23:47We are welcome.
23:48I'll do it.
23:50renaline.