- hace 2 días
Mad Families (2017) is a light-hearted comedy film about three very different families who accidentally book the same campsite for a holiday weekend. With no other place to go, the families must learn how to share the space while dealing with their unique personalities, traditions, and everyday challenges. What starts as confusion quickly turns into a series of funny and relatable moments filled with humor, misunderstandings, and heartfelt interactions. As the weekend continues, the families discover common ground, build unexpected friendships, and learn valuable lessons about patience, teamwork, and understanding. This enjoyable comedy delivers entertaining scenes, playful dialogue, and a warm atmosphere that makes it an easy and relaxing watch for fans of fun and family-centered movies.
Mad Families 2017, Mad Families movie, Mad Families full movie, Mad Families comedy, comedy movie, comedy film, family comedy movie, family comedy film, funny movie, funny comedy film, holiday comedy movie, camping comedy film, weekend comedy movie, light comedy film, feel good comedy, feel good movie, family movie night, comedy story movie, entertaining comedy, humor movie, comedy 2017 film, comedy movies full length, English comedy movie, comedy movie online, comedy movie free
Mad Families 2017, Mad Families movie, Mad Families full movie, Mad Families comedy, comedy movie, comedy film, family comedy movie, family comedy film, funny movie, funny comedy film, holiday comedy movie, camping comedy film, weekend comedy movie, light comedy film, feel good comedy, feel good movie, family movie night, comedy story movie, entertaining comedy, humor movie, comedy 2017 film, comedy movies full length, English comedy movie, comedy movie online, comedy movie free
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00:00:00Música
00:00:30Música
00:01:00Is this the
00:01:15Is this the right site?
00:01:17Yes, honey, it's
00:01:18Site 16, like always
00:01:21Yo, Tommy, what's going on?
00:01:23You call me dad?
00:01:24Frank?
00:01:25Yeah
00:01:25You sure you booked this for us?
00:01:28Absolutely
00:01:28I booked the last available site
00:01:30I got the permit right here
00:01:32Site 16, July 4th weekend
00:01:35I just think that there's been a little bit of a mix-up, Papi, so
00:01:40Word, bitches
00:01:44Who are you calling a bitch?
00:01:45I'm kidding, I'm kidding
00:01:47Just trying to break up the racial tension here, that's all
00:01:50Might have hit you a little hard
00:01:52A little bit
00:01:53Yeah
00:01:53So what's going on?
00:01:55I'm pretty sure we booked this site for the weekend
00:01:57No
00:01:58No, we're the Jones family
00:02:00We booked site 16
00:02:02Well, we're the Jones family and
00:02:05This is our site
00:02:06Son, we're site 16
00:02:08No
00:02:09We're site 16
00:02:10You guys might be one 16
00:02:12But we're definitely 16
00:02:14It's right here on the paper
00:02:15Okay
00:02:15Yes, he says
00:02:16Yes, he says
00:02:17That's level 2, sweetheart
00:02:20That's nice
00:02:20This is 16
00:02:21I don't know how that is
00:02:22Yeah, I know
00:02:23But we're site 16
00:02:24Hold on
00:02:26So
00:02:26Jones Jonas
00:02:28And our last name is Jones 2
00:02:30Well, there's the mix-up
00:02:31What y'all trying to say?
00:02:32Y'all are masters or something?
00:02:33No, no, no, no
00:02:34Not saying that
00:02:35I barely even on a cat
00:02:37Site
00:02:3816
00:02:39Wait a minute
00:02:40Hold up
00:02:41Okay, alright
00:02:42Okay, alright
00:02:43Okay, alright
00:02:43Okay, alright
00:02:44Okay, alright
00:02:45Okay, alright
00:02:45Okay, alright
00:02:46Okay, so
00:02:59It looks like
00:03:00The name Jones
00:03:01Kind of mixed up
00:03:02The computers
00:03:03And
00:03:04Fortunately
00:03:05That's a big problem
00:03:06Because the park
00:03:07Is completely sold out
00:03:08I mean
00:03:09This is like
00:03:09Our biggest
00:03:10Weekend of the year
00:03:11Maybe it's because
00:03:13It's the 4th of July
00:03:14Yeah, well
00:03:15We think that
00:03:16That's a factor
00:03:17Come on, you guys
00:03:18Please, please, please
00:03:19Let's not escalate this
00:03:20How about
00:03:21Sharing the site?
00:03:23No, I am
00:03:24Sharing the site
00:03:25Everyone stop
00:03:28Roman, you just gonna stand there
00:03:30And let them push us around like that?
00:03:32No, no, no
00:03:32I won't let that happen
00:03:33Okay, let me tell you something
00:03:34I'm gonna have
00:03:34Jesse Jackson down here
00:03:36On a moped
00:03:37With Al Sharpton
00:03:38In the sidecar
00:03:39Okay, because they love that type of shit
00:03:40Ooh
00:03:41It just escalated
00:03:42Yeah
00:03:43That definitely escalated
00:03:45Which was the exact opposite
00:03:47Of what he was hoping you would do
00:03:48Uh, sir
00:03:49If sharing the site
00:03:51Is the only option
00:03:53Then
00:03:54This weekend is important
00:03:56I say we
00:03:57All just share the site
00:03:58Uh, son
00:03:59Are you out to a damn mind?
00:04:00Come on
00:04:01I'm just saying
00:04:01There's kids here
00:04:02We're not gonna share the site
00:04:03Really?
00:04:05We'll share this site
00:04:06No
00:04:07It's not
00:04:09There's not enough space
00:04:11Wow
00:04:11Are we gonna have to go home?
00:04:19Okay
00:04:20Okay
00:04:21So
00:04:21So
00:04:22Maybe we
00:04:24We can share
00:04:25Yes
00:04:26Alright
00:04:27So we're all gonna share
00:04:29And it's gonna be great
00:04:30Alright
00:04:39Little bit of a rough start
00:04:40But this weekend's gonna be great
00:04:42Yeah
00:04:43I hope so
00:04:44You know
00:04:46It's the first time
00:04:47We've all been together
00:04:47Since you and I got married
00:04:49I just want
00:04:50Your kids to like my kids
00:04:52And my kids to like you
00:04:53There's no reason
00:04:54We can't be one
00:04:55Big happy family
00:04:56That speech sucked
00:04:58Sucked balls
00:04:59Wow
00:05:00Yeah, yeah
00:05:00He's right
00:05:01It came off really whiny
00:05:03I can't believe that we're brothers
00:05:05Hey, Gravy
00:05:06Why don't you take these
00:05:08We're the campsite
00:05:09Oh, no
00:05:09My hands are full
00:05:10I gotta go
00:05:11I gotta
00:05:11Hey, Thomas
00:05:13Did you unpack my turtle shells?
00:05:15Yeah
00:05:15Can you call me Dad?
00:05:20Not right now
00:05:21They saw me
00:05:22Hey, guys
00:05:23Check out my new turtle shells
00:05:24Give it time, honey
00:05:26Oh, do you think
00:05:28You can get Sharni
00:05:29To stop calling me fake mom?
00:05:31She didn't call you fake mom
00:05:32Are you doing that?
00:05:33You doing that?
00:05:33Yeah, no, no
00:05:34I'll try
00:05:35Thank you
00:05:35Man
00:05:38Sharing this side
00:05:39Was a crap idea, Philippa
00:05:40We're doing this
00:05:42For Poppy's birthday
00:05:42Just try to hold it
00:05:44Together for him
00:05:44You think maybe
00:05:46We'll see Poppy smile
00:05:46For once in his damn life?
00:05:49He works hard
00:05:50And he worries about us
00:05:51What?
00:05:52He can't worry
00:05:52And smile at the same time?
00:05:54Hey
00:05:54I bet your Poppy ever did smile
00:05:55His face would creak
00:05:57It's not like a nail
00:05:58Being pulled from wood
00:05:59We'd probably hear his face go
00:06:01Oil can
00:06:03Oil can
00:06:04Ha, ha, ha
00:06:05Maybe
00:06:06He would smile more
00:06:07If you stopped goofing around
00:06:09And went to work for Rolando
00:06:10As a plumber?
00:06:13Uh
00:06:13No, Philippa
00:06:14That's a living nightmare
00:06:15It's honest work
00:06:17Anyways, look
00:06:18It doesn't even matter
00:06:18Watch a lay one day
00:06:19I'm gonna be a millionaire
00:06:21Oh
00:06:22You're gonna win the lottery?
00:06:24Won't win if I don't scratch
00:06:25Plus I'm gonna get my ass on Shark Tank
00:06:27Make Mark Cuban my new best friend
00:06:28Well, when you become a millionaire
00:06:31Maybe you could pay me back the same five bucks I loaned you
00:06:33Ah, mm-hmm
00:06:34Yeah, you're gonna have to fill out all kinds of paperwork
00:06:36And taxes and stuff
00:06:37Might not be worth it, bro
00:06:39So, probably not
00:06:40Hey, uh, did you leave the car open?
00:06:45I did
00:06:46Did you see fake mom telling me how to unpack like she's the boss of me or something?
00:06:52Sharni, you shouldn't call her fake mom
00:06:54I am glad that dad remarried
00:06:56He's much happier, which keeps him off of my ass
00:06:59I think she's great for him
00:07:01Yeah, well, fake mom says you drink too much, too
00:07:04Fake mom can blow my balls
00:07:06She said that?
00:07:07Yeah
00:07:07That is bullshit
00:07:09Is that, is that a 24-hour Popeye's chicken?
00:07:15Uh, no, that's a port-a-potty
00:07:17I love chickens
00:07:20More than you
00:07:22Ah, let's go
00:07:23Woo, y'all kids keep it down over there with y'all Pokemon Go playing sales
00:07:32Girl, you so crazy
00:07:33Girl, I am so tired of running around after kids
00:07:37I need this vacation
00:07:39It's beautiful here
00:07:41It is, ain't it?
00:07:44Honey, you gonna like my brother Franklin
00:07:46All I got to say is, is hold off on having kids for as long as you can
00:07:51Because they will suck the life out of you
00:07:52I mean, it's like sticking a vacuum cleaner in a pumpkin
00:07:56What do you say, mama?
00:07:59Fuck it all up, huh?
00:08:00Huh?
00:08:00Baby, nothing
00:08:01Mama love you
00:08:02Go on
00:08:03Go play
00:08:04Wait, hold up
00:08:05Are you saying you invited me as some kind of blind date for Franklin?
00:08:09Girl, no
00:08:10No, no, no, no, no
00:08:11We enjoy your company
00:08:12Oh, girl, because I was about to say
00:08:13But it is a blind date
00:08:15Hey, Jose
00:08:16Can you get those oranges?
00:08:18Are you kidding, Felipa?
00:08:21I can't give all the families the satisfaction of watching a Mexican carry a bag of oranges
00:08:24I'm throwing them on the side of the street
00:08:25Okay, are you serious?
00:08:27God, you sound crazy
00:08:28Hey, uh, excuse me
00:08:34How much, uh, do you want for those oranges?
00:08:36Hey, pire, pendejo
00:08:38Oh, crap
00:08:39I'm getting angry
00:08:40Hey, Paco, you got any roses over there?
00:08:45Who asked you, Oprah?
00:08:49Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
00:08:50I'll get that one
00:08:51Wait, what is that?
00:08:57In your bag
00:08:58Get that, what's
00:09:04Recycled
00:09:20Glass
00:09:21Sculpture
00:09:22My exhibit is next week
00:09:25What?
00:09:26You have an exhibit?
00:09:27It's called
00:09:28The Exhibit
00:09:34Oh, at least there's some chicas calientes to stare at, huh?
00:09:39Jose
00:09:40What if Francesca heard you say that?
00:09:43Look, she ain't here
00:09:44And we ain't married
00:09:45Besides
00:09:47Because I'm on a diet
00:09:48Doesn't mean I can't look at the menu
00:09:49You mean stare at the menu
00:09:51Talked all the bills into that menu
00:09:53I mean, come on
00:09:55Man, she's got so much wiggle in her walk
00:09:56She could butt down a rotary phone
00:09:58I heard them talking
00:09:59I guess she came as a blind date
00:10:02For that Franklin guy
00:10:03Word?
00:10:05Word
00:10:05What?
00:10:06What'd you just say?
00:10:07Are you all right?
00:10:08No
00:10:09No, no, I'm not all right
00:10:11Listening to you two talk
00:10:13Would make anybody sick
00:10:14Men are idiots
00:10:17Blind date bullshit
00:10:19Don't let her call you that
00:10:21She's talking to you two, pendejo
00:10:22Is our sister on her menopause, or what?
00:10:25Ah, Joan's family
00:10:27Whoa
00:10:28Kids are everywhere
00:10:29Hey, I really hope you guys like the park, man
00:10:33I don't know what happened with this mix-up
00:10:35I know I booked the last available site
00:10:37Now, what changed your mind about coming with us this year, son?
00:10:41What?
00:10:42I love camping
00:10:44Ah, this is me, Pop
00:10:45Come on, Franklin
00:10:47Come on, bro
00:10:47That's bullshit, okay?
00:10:49I hope you know this is not online camping
00:10:51It's actually the real thing
00:10:52And I hope you know this won't be an online fist in your face
00:10:55It'll be the real thing
00:10:56You know, son, I'm tired of you
00:10:57Why, Ron?
00:10:58Stop it
00:10:59You leave your brother alone
00:11:00Sorry, Daddy
00:11:03He's got a dress correct
00:11:04He's a district attorney now
00:11:06And he's working his way up
00:11:07He might be mayor one day
00:11:09I don't know about mayor, Pop
00:11:10And this weekend, we have a fine young woman with us
00:11:15Chantasia
00:11:16Who's Chantasia?
00:11:18Listen, son
00:11:19Beautiful woman like that on your side
00:11:21No telling how far you can go
00:11:23From DA to mayor
00:11:25Commander-in-chief
00:11:26You smell that?
00:11:30There's romance in the air
00:11:31Y'all smell these potties? Damn
00:11:32I smell something
00:11:33But I didn't want to say nothing
00:11:35Because I kind of thought it was
00:11:36Sorry, Daddy
00:11:39Is that Justin Bieber?
00:11:54Is that guy naked?
00:11:55You wish
00:11:56Is that dumpster on fire?
00:12:03Oh, my gosh
00:12:04Is that Charles Brunson?
00:12:09What's in the bottle?
00:12:12Communion
00:12:13Right, so you're some creepy drunk priest?
00:12:16I am not a priest
00:12:18Listen, um
00:12:23Why don't you help Franklin
00:12:25No
00:12:25Uh, set some things up
00:12:27I've got to go
00:12:29Till some soil
00:12:31Chantasia
00:12:33Sharon?
00:12:34Chantasia
00:12:35Damn, they still doing that?
00:12:36That's fucked up
00:12:38Here
00:12:39Chantasia
00:12:41Come on
00:12:42What the hell kind of
00:12:43Disease
00:12:44Chantasia
00:12:45Hey, bro, what are you doing?
00:12:46You sleeping in your car?
00:12:48Until Denali makes the tent
00:12:49Bro, you is not a real camper, huh?
00:12:52You can't fool me
00:12:53Now, you might be able to fool Pops
00:12:54But you can't fool me, brother
00:12:56You're right
00:12:56You never fool me, brother
00:12:57I don't want to fool you
00:12:58Since I've known you
00:12:59Ah, snake on your shoulder!
00:13:00Snake!
00:13:00Snake on your shoulder!
00:13:01Snake on your shoulder!
00:13:02Snake!
00:13:03Is it invisible?
00:13:04I don't see nothing
00:13:05Where is it?
00:13:06Ron, Ron
00:13:07I'm just
00:13:07Ron, Ron
00:13:08I'm just messing with you
00:13:09I'm just messing with you
00:13:10I'm just messing with you, dog
00:13:12I just
00:13:12I just
00:13:13What?
00:13:13I just
00:13:13What?
00:13:14Fooled you?
00:13:15Clearly
00:13:16Get those flying bastards
00:13:20Jackie, don't say bastard
00:13:22What about this?
00:13:24Yeah, that's not
00:13:24No
00:13:27That
00:13:27No
00:13:28Not great
00:13:29Don't love it
00:13:31No
00:13:32I don't
00:13:34No
00:13:34I don't
00:13:35Not a fan
00:13:36You love tit chicken
00:13:37Tell me
00:13:37No, I don't love that
00:13:38I don't love the word tit
00:13:39Come on now
00:13:40No
00:13:40Definitely not dick
00:13:42No
00:13:43No
00:13:43Jackie
00:13:44No
00:13:44No
00:13:46What else you got?
00:13:48Bastards
00:13:49You know what?
00:13:52Bastards fine
00:13:52It's
00:13:53Yeah
00:13:54Passable
00:13:54Hey everybody
00:13:56Look
00:13:56I made Ocho
00:13:58Into a turtle dog
00:13:59Yeah
00:13:59It's the fifth ninja turtle
00:14:02Doc Bobello
00:14:03Ha ha ha
00:14:04Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:14:05It's really funny man
00:14:06Now think it off
00:14:06I can't
00:14:07It's super glued
00:14:09Now
00:14:14This is what I'm talking about
00:14:29Jazz on a stereo
00:14:31Cozy fop
00:14:33Dad, look, no offense
00:14:34But this old ass music
00:14:36Make me want to put a gun to my head
00:14:37And shoot it
00:14:38Give me a sec
00:14:40Let me go get a gun
00:14:42Ha
00:14:43Good one, Pop
00:14:44When?
00:14:45When?
00:14:47When?
00:14:48When?
00:14:49When?
00:14:49When what?
00:14:50I don't even know
00:14:51When?
00:14:52No, no, no, no
00:14:52No, no
00:14:53You said someday someone's gonna have an intervention on you
00:14:56I'm curious
00:14:57When?
00:14:58She wasn't suppo-
00:14:59I mean
00:14:59When?
00:15:00What is she talking about?
00:15:01I don't
00:15:02What?
00:15:02What?
00:15:03I love that show
00:15:04Intervention
00:15:05I'm camping with my son and my daughter
00:15:07We're having a good time
00:15:09I don't know where this is even coming from
00:15:11My brother's coherent
00:15:13I love it here
00:15:14This is fabulous
00:15:17Yeah
00:15:17Until I hear things about interventions
00:15:21When might this intervention be happening?
00:15:24What's she talking about, Dan?
00:15:25Uh, son
00:15:26Uh
00:15:27When this wiener is done
00:15:30When will it be done?
00:15:31Yeah
00:15:31When will it be done?
00:15:33Well, let me just tell you
00:15:34The interventions are not cool
00:15:35They sprung one on a buddy of mine once
00:15:36And I'm pretty sure he stabbed a bunch of his mom's cats
00:15:39The vet probably had a really good night that night
00:15:42When all those cats got stabbed
00:15:44One of these days
00:15:49I'm gonna be so rich
00:15:50I'll be able to rent this whole damn park out
00:15:52Maybe then pop it'll smile
00:15:54Hey
00:15:56I just had my best million dollar idea yet
00:15:59It's a soft drink
00:16:00But for dogs
00:16:02It's called Pupsy
00:16:03What?
00:16:05Pupsy
00:16:06Pupsy
00:16:07Pupsy's not gonna let you get away with that
00:16:08What are they gonna do?
00:16:10Sue me?
00:16:11Yeah
00:16:11Out your ass
00:16:12That's a bad idea
00:16:15Called Pupsy
00:16:17The fools have no vision
00:16:20Pupsy
00:16:24Who made you out a DJ in Site 16?
00:16:28Turn that shit down, okay?
00:16:30We're trying to hear old ass jazz over here
00:16:32Look at they fire, huh?
00:16:35We got this little fire right here
00:16:37This doesn't make any sense
00:16:38What does it matter
00:16:39If their fire is bigger than our fire?
00:16:41It don't matter
00:16:43Thank you
00:16:44If it ain't true
00:16:45Hey
00:16:48Are their fires bigger than ours?
00:16:51You know
00:16:52We need a bigger fire
00:16:53Get the lighter foot
00:16:59Do it
00:17:08I mean
00:17:09What about you guys?
00:17:17We're gonna make
00:17:17We're gonna build
00:17:18Hallelujah
00:17:19And what you do?
00:18:22¡Hoo, ¡hoo, ¡hoo!
00:18:32Jesus, this is some bullshit.
00:18:35I'm getting eaten alive.
00:18:37Damn answer for центros or whatever the hell you are.
00:18:40Leave me alone.
00:18:41¡Hoo!
00:18:45Ah, it's gotta be a 24-hour place in town.
00:18:50Oh my god
00:18:54Frickin' beating
00:18:57Some Benadryl
00:19:02Cortizone
00:19:04Frickin' Mezcal
00:19:06What the hell was that?
00:19:12Frickin' pinot
00:19:13Oh my god, oh my god
00:19:16What did you do?
00:19:20You just got the crap out of me
00:19:22Oh my god
00:19:23Okay, okay, this is not what it looks like
00:19:25You killed them both
00:19:26No, no, no, no, no, no
00:19:27This piece of shit, dumbass, hybrid, makes no noise
00:19:31Alright, you gotta help me get them to a vent
00:19:34You drive, and I'll give them mouth-to-mouth
00:19:37I mean mouth-to-stout
00:19:50What the hell did they do to Ocho?
00:20:01Who would do such a thing?
00:20:05Them
00:20:06Come on
00:20:08Hey man
00:20:12Hey, what?
00:20:12What the hell did you do to our dog?
00:20:14Look
00:20:14Anybody do nothing to your dog?
00:20:16What are you talking about?
00:20:17You didn't do nothing
00:20:18Shit, Chaka
00:20:19What they do to you?
00:20:21It's in my baby
00:20:22What you trying to do to my baby?
00:20:25Hey man, we didn't touch your dog
00:20:26You're the one that busted on
00:20:27Yeah, we love dogs, man
00:20:28What can I do?
00:20:29If y'all didn't touch our dog
00:20:31And we didn't touch your dog
00:20:32Wake up, white people!
00:20:39Okay, alright
00:20:40Just, just hear me out
00:20:41I am so sorry
00:20:44It, it, it, it was an accident
00:20:46I swear
00:20:47I, I, I just wanted some Benadryl
00:20:49Oh, shit
00:20:50Crazy white man
00:20:55What, man?
00:20:56I have no idea
00:20:58What are you doing about this?
00:21:01It's up
00:21:01They're right over my dog, man
00:21:03It's a sheriff
00:21:04Come on, man
00:21:05What are you doing?
00:21:06I want a freaking reason
00:21:06I'm just up
00:21:07You seem pretty worked out
00:21:08Yeah, this turned into a race war
00:21:10We'll be filling out paperwork
00:21:12For decades
00:21:13What are you doing?
00:21:15How are you going to make this year?
00:21:26You people
00:21:27This is the 4th of July
00:21:30This is the day we honor
00:21:33How our great nation
00:21:34Declared its independence
00:21:35From the King of England
00:21:37Do you happen to even know how
00:21:41George Washington celebrated
00:21:44His final victory over the British
00:21:46At Yorktown?
00:21:47That great day?
00:21:48Hmm?
00:21:49He issued his troops
00:21:51A double ration of rum
00:21:53Here we are
00:21:57We had
00:21:57Fought this bitter war
00:22:00Against that tyrannical foe
00:22:02And all we did
00:22:05To celebrate it
00:22:06Is that we drank
00:22:07Four fingers of booze
00:22:09Instead of two
00:22:10That's about a martini and a half
00:22:36In case you were wondering
00:22:38What four fingers was
00:22:39Today
00:22:41If a kid
00:22:42Happens to throw his poopy diaper
00:22:44Into the hamper
00:22:45The parents
00:22:45They go eep shit
00:22:46And they throw the kid a party
00:22:47And give him a playstation
00:22:48Purple
00:22:50Oh gosh
00:22:53He drinks like me
00:22:55I don't really see
00:23:07This issue between your people
00:23:10Has a problem
00:23:11I see it as an opportunity
00:23:12To get away
00:23:13From what the 4th of July
00:23:15Has become
00:23:15Which let's face it
00:23:17Is just a couple of days
00:23:18Off work
00:23:19For all the lazy people
00:23:20We have become a nation
00:23:22Of soft
00:23:23Puffy
00:23:24Pussy people
00:23:25We have forgotten
00:23:27The sacrifice
00:23:28Of those who have come
00:23:29Before us
00:23:30And so in my opinion
00:23:31Whoever wants
00:23:33Camping site 16
00:23:34You're gonna have to
00:23:37Fucking fight for it
00:23:38What do you mean
00:23:38You're talking about
00:23:39Cannons
00:23:40And muskets
00:23:41And shit
00:23:41You're crazy
00:23:43Hey
00:23:44I am retiring
00:23:45In a week
00:23:46And a half
00:23:46And I don't give a shit
00:23:47Alright
00:23:48You don't have to use
00:23:50Guns and knives
00:23:50Just
00:23:50Have a contest
00:23:53Have a contest
00:23:55Whatever family
00:23:57Wins the contest
00:23:58They get to kick
00:23:59The other two families
00:24:00Asses out of the park
00:24:01How about that
00:24:02You get no cheese
00:24:03With your wine
00:24:04Around here
00:24:05So
00:24:06If I were you
00:24:07I would be dedicated
00:24:08To getting it on
00:24:09Cause it's on
00:24:11This whole thing's a mess
00:24:15And we're sorry about it
00:24:17We were told
00:24:18To help out with the contest
00:24:20Since
00:24:20It was the park's fault
00:24:21Well
00:24:22Great
00:24:22Wow
00:24:24It's really nice
00:24:25That the pig's being helpful
00:24:26Pardon?
00:24:27Uh no
00:24:28Nothing
00:24:28You just said
00:24:29That clown up there
00:24:30Looks like a pig
00:24:31No I didn't
00:24:33I said
00:24:33Oh
00:24:34Oh
00:24:34Oh
00:24:35Oh
00:24:35Oh
00:24:36There's a spider
00:24:36On his zipper there
00:24:37Thanks
00:24:39Thanks guys
00:24:42Hey Grave
00:24:43You deserve that
00:24:44Yeah
00:24:45Seriously
00:24:45So we doing this contest
00:24:48Thing
00:24:49Oh yeah
00:24:50We doing this
00:24:51What's the matter
00:24:52Old man
00:24:52You scared?
00:24:54Scared?
00:24:55No
00:24:55Just sad
00:24:57Sad for you
00:24:58And all these other losers
00:24:59Kids
00:25:01We're marking off an area
00:25:03For you to play in
00:25:03Do not leave this area
00:25:05For any reason
00:25:06What if we get
00:25:07Hit by lightning?
00:25:08Try not to
00:25:08What if we see
00:25:09An ice cream truck?
00:25:10Try not to
00:25:11Dad
00:25:12How long do we have
00:25:13To stay here?
00:25:14It's just while the adults
00:25:15Are off doing adult things
00:25:16Yes I'm getting in it
00:25:17Baby father
00:25:19Uh
00:25:20Not those kind of adult things
00:25:23Okay kids
00:25:26Have fun
00:25:27Hey
00:25:27Don't poke your eyes
00:25:28Peace out
00:25:29I don't know what to say
00:25:44Well you can usually find
00:25:46All the right words
00:25:46In the courtroom
00:25:47Look I thought
00:25:49Bringing our families together
00:25:50Up here would be
00:25:51Our chance to
00:25:52You know break the news
00:25:53Wait
00:25:55You did this on purpose?
00:25:58Yeah
00:25:58Kind of
00:25:59A little bit
00:26:00I mean
00:26:01It was easy
00:26:01Because our names
00:26:02Are so similar
00:26:03Jones
00:26:04Jonas
00:26:04I didn't expect
00:26:06A white Jones family
00:26:07To show up
00:26:08I screwed up
00:26:09Everything
00:26:09It's my fault
00:26:10I'm sorry
00:26:11So who is she?
00:26:13Who is who?
00:26:15Do you know
00:26:16Who I'm talking about?
00:26:18Who?
00:26:18Fantasia?
00:26:19I don't know that girl
00:26:20Shantasia
00:26:20Why is she here?
00:26:22I don't know her
00:26:22She's my dad's idea
00:26:25It's my first time
00:26:26Ever seeing her
00:26:27Stop
00:26:28Come on
00:26:29You know I love you
00:26:30Stop
00:26:31Anyway
00:26:35Look
00:26:36I have a plan
00:26:37I'll make sure
00:26:40We win the race
00:26:41And then
00:26:42I'll convince my dad
00:26:43To let you
00:26:44Your family stay
00:26:45And we'll get rid of
00:26:46The white family
00:26:46Yep
00:26:47Kick rocks
00:26:49What if your family
00:26:50Doesn't win?
00:26:52Fulipo
00:26:53Stop
00:26:54Smoking
00:26:55Crack
00:26:56Okay
00:26:57We're black
00:26:58We're gonna win
00:26:59Mexicans are pretty
00:27:02Athletic too
00:27:02What about like
00:27:03Big Poppy?
00:27:04He's Dominican
00:27:05Oh y'all gonna lose bad
00:27:07Y'all gonna lose so bad
00:27:08Hey guys
00:27:19I think I hear an ice cream truck
00:27:21Wait but we can't leave this area
00:27:25Well screw that
00:27:26It's ice cream
00:27:28Look at these people
00:27:37They're like vultures
00:27:40They're standing around
00:27:41Watching us fight
00:27:42Among ourselves
00:27:43Don't think they're just out here
00:27:45Having fun?
00:27:46No
00:27:47This has gotten much bigger
00:27:49Than three mad ass families
00:27:51Bigger how?
00:27:53How do you think about it
00:27:53Matt?
00:27:54International sports
00:27:55You root for your country
00:27:57Yeah
00:27:57Yeah school sports
00:27:58You root for your school
00:27:59Yeah
00:27:59These people are rooting
00:28:01For their race
00:28:02Oh you don't know that?
00:28:04Okay
00:28:04Truth or dare
00:28:06I'll answer a question
00:28:08If you answer a question
00:28:09Okay
00:28:10Truthfully
00:28:10Alright
00:28:11Alright
00:28:11Now when you first drove up here
00:28:13And you saw that there were two families here
00:28:15Now were you mad
00:28:17Because there were two families here
00:28:18Or were you mad
00:28:19Because we weren't white
00:28:21Yeah well you know
00:28:23Truth be told
00:28:25When I drove up here
00:28:26I was a little nervous
00:28:26But that's because
00:28:27I didn't know what to expect
00:28:28Well
00:28:29I felt the same way
00:28:30And that's textbook racism
00:28:32Well you can't say I'm racist
00:28:34Just because I didn't know
00:28:35What to expect
00:28:35I've had a lot of great experiences
00:28:37With other races
00:28:38And some not so great
00:28:40Yeah I'm sorry
00:28:41I couldn't help it over here
00:28:42You should know
00:28:44That our family
00:28:45Isn't anything
00:28:46Like that
00:28:47At all
00:28:47In fact I was
00:28:49I was a total wigger
00:28:50Back in high school
00:28:51Had my hair bright
00:28:52And everything
00:28:52You remember that?
00:28:53That was so cute
00:28:54What is a wigger?
00:29:01It's just a term
00:29:02For a kid
00:29:03That's trying to
00:29:04Act tough
00:29:05And sound cool
00:29:06Well no
00:29:07That's what it means
00:29:08But
00:29:09What is it an acronym for?
00:29:11An acronym?
00:29:12Yeah like
00:29:13The word smog
00:29:14It's a combination
00:29:15Of the word
00:29:16Smoke and fall
00:29:17That's an acronym
00:29:18What are the words
00:29:20That wigger
00:29:21Is an acronym for?
00:29:25Well that's easy
00:29:26It's a
00:29:27It's a combination
00:29:29A mash up
00:29:30If you will
00:29:30Of their words
00:29:33White
00:29:37And
00:29:39Er
00:29:43Okay
00:29:45I mean
00:29:48You know
00:29:49You guys get hit
00:29:49With
00:29:50Honky
00:29:51Hey
00:29:52Crackers
00:29:52Hey
00:29:53Pecklewood
00:29:53Hey
00:29:54Redneck
00:29:54Hey
00:29:55White bastard
00:29:56White devil
00:29:57Hey
00:29:57But
00:29:58The n-word
00:29:59That cuts
00:30:00Straight through the clutter
00:30:02Yeah well
00:30:03Once you say that
00:30:03It's pretty much game over
00:30:04You're right
00:30:05Good going son
00:30:07Well done
00:30:08Happy to help
00:30:08But
00:30:09I still don't agree with you
00:30:10That these people out here
00:30:11Rooting for their own races
00:30:12Hey
00:30:13Tienes que ganar cabron
00:30:15Para la raza
00:30:16We
00:30:16We got this baby
00:30:19Black and white's going down
00:30:21Like a knocked out zebra
00:30:22Yeah maybe you're right
00:30:24Hey
00:30:25Hey
00:30:26Hey
00:30:26Franklin
00:30:37All right
00:30:38You know
00:30:40I love that
00:30:40That look
00:30:41That gleam of victory
00:30:43In your eyes
00:30:43Yeah we about to win pop
00:30:45And we gonna kick a family
00:30:46Up out of here
00:30:47Oh yes
00:30:48That's right
00:30:48You know
00:30:49Where's Chantasia
00:30:51Chantasia
00:30:51You know that
00:30:53Old Franklin here
00:30:54Was a track star
00:30:55In high school
00:30:56Chantasia
00:30:56Come on
00:30:57One time
00:30:59I ate 37 eggs
00:31:01I ate 37 eggs
00:31:01In 6 minutes
00:31:02Come on
00:31:02I mean that's impossible
00:31:03You know
00:31:04You proud of me daddy
00:31:05You agree about that
00:31:06Go on
00:31:06I'm proud of you son
00:31:07Not as proud as I am
00:31:08But Franklin here
00:31:09What
00:31:11That was a joke
00:31:12That was a shitty joke
00:31:15What
00:31:16I said Kiko's titty is broke
00:31:18Oh
00:31:18Yeah
00:31:19I thought you said that
00:31:20Let's do this
00:31:21You know what
00:31:23Y'all enjoy y'all pissing contest
00:31:25But I'm out of here
00:31:25You wanna go
00:31:26Yeah I wanna go find Chantasia
00:31:27This is our contest pick
00:31:31It is called
00:31:32The potty carry
00:31:33That's right
00:31:34One person goes inside of each one
00:31:37And the rest of us
00:31:38Carry
00:31:39And the winner
00:31:40Is the one who gets across that finish line
00:31:42First
00:31:43That finish line's pretty far man
00:31:45Dude
00:31:45Don't sweat it man
00:31:47We totally got this
00:31:48Mexicans are gonna take this hands down
00:31:49Hey papi
00:31:50Papi
00:31:51We're about to start the race
00:31:52You gonna come cheer us on?
00:31:55Does your dad ever smile?
00:31:57No
00:31:58You mean Darth Valdez?
00:31:59Huh
00:32:00Does he even know what a smile is?
00:32:02I bet you he can't say the word
00:32:03Chuck E. Cheese
00:32:04I bet his face make him stop at Chuck
00:32:06He probably need a fake ID
00:32:09Just to buy a happy meal
00:32:10That's good
00:32:11Alright
00:32:12Alright
00:32:12That's pretty funny
00:32:13That's pretty funny
00:32:14But uh
00:32:14You know he's still my dad
00:32:15So
00:32:16Could you cut it out please?
00:32:17Well you know
00:32:18Come on let's face these potties out
00:32:19And get the race started
00:32:20I mean
00:32:21Stand around here
00:32:22Let me just drag this one
00:32:23Get out of the way would ya
00:32:24Okay
00:32:25I'll just take this one
00:32:26Are you sure?
00:32:27Dad these things are kinda heavy
00:32:28Charlie
00:32:29I've been a fireman for years
00:32:30You know
00:32:31I rescued babies from windows
00:32:32And you know
00:32:33Fiery buildings
00:32:34You know
00:32:34Come on
00:32:35Come on
00:32:35Put this one back
00:32:36I guess
00:32:37Come on let's go
00:32:38I can just
00:32:39Get this
00:32:40Get it
00:32:41Get it off me
00:32:44Come on
00:32:45Charlie get it off of me
00:32:47Get it off of me
00:32:48We got this
00:32:49We got this
00:32:51We got this
00:32:51We got this
00:32:51Okay
00:32:51Up
00:32:52Yeah
00:32:52Yeah
00:32:53Maybe we should
00:32:59Slide it
00:33:01I don't like this
00:33:15I'm having a bad day
00:33:17I hate kids
00:33:20You ruin my life
00:33:22The main problem is
00:33:29Is getting this potty over the ravine
00:33:31Luckily
00:33:32Ron Ron got an idea
00:33:34What?
00:33:35All we need to do
00:33:36Is swing this potty
00:33:37By using rope
00:33:38We need to put the rope
00:33:39Through a hitch
00:33:40On top of the potty
00:33:41And then toss the rope
00:33:42On branches
00:33:43And then we swing the potty
00:33:45Over the ravine
00:33:45Come on
00:33:46That's a good idea
00:33:48We got to get some rope
00:33:49Oh daddy
00:33:50Look at this
00:33:51I already got it
00:33:52Take care of
00:33:52Look at that
00:33:53Crap
00:33:53Guess I'm smarter
00:33:54Franklin now
00:33:55Right
00:33:55No
00:33:56He's right man
00:33:57The rope's gonna make it easier
00:33:58Sharni
00:33:59Get a rope
00:34:00Guys
00:34:01We're ready to go
00:34:02We can't wait
00:34:03Come on
00:34:03Wait wait wait wait
00:34:04Get on your marks
00:34:06Get set
00:34:07Go
00:34:08Come on
00:34:09Keep dreaming
00:34:12That rope is mine
00:34:13No I thought birds
00:34:14Hello
00:34:15Open up
00:34:16We want to borrow your clothesline
00:34:18It's kind of cute
00:34:19Open up
00:34:20We want to borrow your
00:34:21Your clothesline
00:34:22Yeah you know
00:34:23Keep knocking
00:34:24People love Mexicans
00:34:25At their door
00:34:26Real funny
00:34:27Hello
00:34:27We'll see how much you're laughing
00:34:30When that rope is mine
00:34:31Hey
00:34:33What are you doing up there
00:34:34Getting this damn clothesline
00:34:36Oh shit
00:34:37I don't know
00:34:48I don't know
00:34:48I don't know
00:34:49I don't know
00:34:49I don't know
00:34:50Come this way
00:34:55What the hell was that
00:34:56Oh my god
00:34:57Come on
00:34:59Where did everybody go
00:35:03Did we win
00:35:09Come on
00:35:10Come on
00:35:11Come on
00:35:11Come on
00:35:12What happened
00:35:14He has a TV antenna
00:35:16He has stuck it up
00:35:17Where
00:35:17No no no no
00:35:18Hospital
00:35:19All right
00:35:20Let's use my car
00:35:21Okay
00:35:21What the fuck
00:35:23You don't hear me that
00:35:23Yeah
00:35:24What the hell are you doing
00:35:29It seems like a bitch
00:35:31It seems like a bitch
00:35:31No no more
00:35:35You fucking idiots
00:35:37Whoa whoa whoa
00:35:37Everybody stop
00:35:40Did you get the NFL package
00:35:43No mammy
00:35:44We're not going to get him in the pussy car
00:35:48Let's get him in Franklin's car
00:35:50Right here
00:35:52Right here
00:35:53There you go
00:35:53You got it
00:35:54You got it
00:35:55There you go
00:35:56There you go
00:35:56There you go
00:35:57Let's get my push
00:35:58All right
00:35:59One
00:36:00Two
00:36:01Three
00:36:02It's horribly wrong
00:36:08Yeah
00:36:09Okay
00:36:10Okay
00:36:11Okay
00:36:11Let's go
00:36:11Come on
00:36:11Come on
00:36:12Don't worry
00:36:12You're going to come from
00:36:13Telling me
00:36:13I'm going to
00:36:14I'm going to
00:36:14I'm going to
00:36:15So you're doing number one
00:36:23Or number two
00:36:24What
00:36:24Go get an adult
00:36:26You look like a pinata
00:36:27And you look like the first person
00:36:29Ass I'm going to be
00:36:29If you don't go get an adult
00:36:30I didn't say you were
00:36:32I said you looked like one
00:36:34I'm going to beat you so bad
00:36:35And you're not even my kid
00:36:37Whoa
00:36:37Take it easy, Perk
00:36:38I thought you kids were on lockdown
00:36:40How did you get out of your area?
00:36:42You didn't answer me
00:36:43Number one or number two
00:36:44Why you want to know, Chucky?
00:36:46That's nasty
00:36:47Get an adult
00:36:48I could die
00:36:49No
00:36:49We don't want to
00:36:50Okay, here
00:36:50Please
00:36:51This is not a drill
00:36:54This is code red
00:36:55You know a code red
00:36:56Oh, y'all went to public school
00:36:57You don't know nothing
00:36:58Oh my God
00:36:59I hate kids
00:37:01And I hate camping
00:37:02And I hate camping
00:37:03Yep, yep
00:37:21I'm good
00:37:22I got lucky
00:37:27It was tough
00:37:29But I'm good
00:37:29Hey
00:37:35Doctor said my love handles are like a teenager
00:37:38Yeah, don't worry about it
00:37:45I'm just going to be here by myself
00:37:47You know
00:37:48Yeah
00:37:49No family to talk to
00:37:51Somebody didn't think about, mijo
00:37:57Come on
00:37:57Yes, but you're safe
00:38:11Have fun
00:38:12Mind if I sit?
00:38:15Sure
00:38:15It's a pretty man
00:38:18I'm going to kill him
00:38:20You know, the kids don't see race
00:38:23It's true
00:38:25It seems they learn it from the adults
00:38:27Kids can be a handful, man
00:38:30I used to think that I wanted a bunch of them
00:38:32But after this weekend
00:38:33I think I'm just going to get another cat
00:38:35Wait, where is it?
00:38:37Where is it?
00:38:37It's right there
00:38:38It's just moving
00:38:39No, that's a
00:38:40It's a praying
00:38:40It's just a gross bug
00:38:42Just put it down
00:38:43You know, I've actually been meaning to tell you that I really like your hair
00:38:47Thanks
00:38:48I do it myself
00:38:50Really?
00:38:50I have my own salon
00:38:51That's super cool
00:38:53Didn't I hear Charlie saying that he has his own salon too?
00:38:58Not a salon
00:38:59A saloon
00:38:59Okay
00:39:01I drove with him to the vet the other night
00:39:02He had a dog under each arm giving them both mouth to mouth
00:39:06He's got a lot of heart
00:39:07Yeah, and dog breath sounds like
00:39:11Did any of the dogs get a contact run?
00:39:13Yeah, I think the dogs were wondering why I kept checking their IDs
00:39:16You know, he's a good guy
00:39:23Yeah, and cute too, right?
00:39:26Yeah
00:39:26He's kind of cute
00:39:27Yeah, super cute
00:39:28Like, I would
00:39:29I think I would too
00:39:30Seriously, he's a bit of a charmer
00:39:33Girls love bad boys
00:39:34I think he knows he has a problem
00:39:36I don't drink
00:39:37I never have
00:39:38But my dad was an alcoholic
00:39:40So I know the signs
00:39:42I really want to kill it
00:39:43I really want to kill it
00:39:44No, it's one of God's creatures
00:39:46Don't kill it
00:39:47Right?
00:39:48Don't kill it
00:39:49Help me
00:39:49Right there
00:39:50So how about you?
00:39:53Do you work at the courthouse back in the city?
00:39:55Yeah, I'm a stenographer
00:39:56Franklin works in the DA's office
00:39:59Does he?
00:39:59Yeah
00:40:00Do you ever see him around there?
00:40:01Uh, Cat and Allie?
00:40:03Yeah, I think I have
00:40:04Not that often
00:40:07You know, I've been meaning to tell you
00:40:10I'm not here to
00:40:11Oh my God
00:40:13Oh my God
00:40:17Should I buy a tabby or a slimy's cap?
00:40:22Okay, cabrons
00:40:23Our pick
00:40:25The eating contest
00:40:26Yeah, but not food
00:40:27We're on this
00:40:28Habaneros, baby
00:40:29Hot peppers, bro
00:40:31You gotta eat as many as you can in three minutes
00:40:34And habaneros?
00:40:36Habaneros are the devil's food
00:40:37Yup
00:40:38They can't be that bad
00:40:40Oh, you about to find out
00:40:41Can I eat for the family?
00:40:44Yeah, Grave
00:40:44You can eat for the family for sure
00:40:46Cause habaneros are organic
00:40:48And I do non-fartimusucals really well
00:40:51Yeah, like one time I got lost in the desert
00:40:54Yeah
00:40:55I had to eat 67 mushrooms to survive
00:40:58Zaps and stems?
00:40:59The whole thing
00:41:00I hallucinated for 15 days
00:41:03My diarrhea tasted like honey
00:41:05That's beautiful, Grave
00:41:07That's your son-in-law?
00:41:09A brother-in-law?
00:41:10Yes, my brother-in-law
00:41:11That's your brother
00:41:13In-law
00:41:14You said that like you might have seen him naked or something
00:41:16Alright, fool
00:41:19I got this
00:41:20No, clown
00:41:20I love habaneros
00:41:22What are you talking about?
00:41:23Who are you calling a clown, man?
00:41:24I can eat so many more habaneros than you always have
00:41:26No
00:41:26Yolo Agro
00:41:28You puppy?
00:41:30What? He's resurrected
00:41:33It's like it's Easter or something
00:41:35I've been eating habaneros for 65 years
00:41:39I will win for the familia
00:41:40Mira
00:41:41This is what I've been whittling
00:41:43Eh?
00:41:44Ocho
00:41:45Ven para acá
00:41:47For cervezas
00:41:49Ocho is now
00:41:50An official
00:41:52St. Bernardo
00:41:54Fuckin' made a joke
00:41:56Yeah
00:41:57Habaneros are nothing to Mexicans
00:41:59We put hot sauce on our hot sauce
00:42:02Fuckin' made another joke
00:42:05That's awesome
00:42:06I'm ready
00:42:07Let's do this
00:42:08Alright, pendejos
00:42:09The timer is set
00:42:113, 2, 1, go
00:42:14C'mon, packe
00:42:40Do you think men ever get like a POV of themselves and just go, we're really stupid?
00:43:10May the devil use your backbone as a trellis to pick apples in hell.
00:43:25To you, Mr. DiMaggio, and to you, Dr. Freud.
00:43:29If you don't know where you're going, there are plenty of roads.
00:43:32Okay, so she's not just crazy beautiful, she's actually smart enough to see right through me.
00:43:44She knew to look past the train wreck he is and see the man that was crying when he thought the doggies wouldn't make it.
00:43:49Okay, if that's a turn off, may I just say I'm not usually the crying type.
00:43:54I thought it was sweet, you know, you're crying like a little sissy.
00:43:57I cried because when I was giving the mouth to snout, Ocho slipped me some tongue.
00:44:05I can still taste the lamb and carrots.
00:44:10Okay, okay, let's recap.
00:44:12I know I come off like a bit of a tough guy, but I do cry when I see that doggies are hurt and deer are half naked and sorry about that.
00:44:23Are you?
00:44:24Oh, shit.
00:44:29Don't move, that's a coral snake.
00:44:31You'll be totally safe if you stand there just like that, backlit by the sun, looking perfect.
00:44:39Dammit, you moved.
00:44:41Now you look awful.
00:44:43You went from looking like a goddess to a favela in a bikini.
00:44:47What are we going to do?
00:44:51If we meld as one, it'll see us as a much larger and greater threat and then slither away sheepishly.
00:45:00So this is us melding.
00:45:05Here we go.
00:45:06Whoa, whoa.
00:45:08In chapter seven, in one of the most brilliant novels I've ever read, the main character finds a coral snake in their barn.
00:45:14Roger tells her red over yellow kills a fellow, red over black venom lack.
00:45:18So our little friend over there isn't poisonous.
00:45:20Wow.
00:45:21You read my novel.
00:45:23Twice.
00:45:24So I guess you know what a, what a cliche I am.
00:45:27A writer who drinks.
00:45:29You forgot to mention tortured.
00:45:31And I left out scared and insecure.
00:45:33Uh-huh.
00:45:34Well, perhaps that is why I drink.
00:45:37But we never see you drink because we're always distracted by the things you're pointing to, you know.
00:45:42Justin Bieber, Dumpster Fires, 24-hour Popeye's Chicken.
00:45:46Uh, really tall midget, enlightened trucker, silent bagpipes, Pete Best, Blockbuster Video.
00:45:54The cast of Breakfast Club and one of my favorites, Batcloud Looks Like a Drag Queen.
00:46:00Let me see if I got this straight.
00:46:01You wrote one novel, got lots of critical praise.
00:46:04Then you finished.
00:46:06What happened?
00:46:07Wait a second.
00:46:11Is that Charlie Jones over there?
00:46:15Behind an empty typewriter?
00:46:18Frozen?
00:46:20Hammered?
00:46:21Alone?
00:46:22No, it isn't.
00:46:24I guess if my head was filled with that kind of crap, I'd probably drink too.
00:46:28But I don't.
00:46:29So good luck with your travels.
00:46:33Wait, wait, wait, wait, what if I...
00:46:35What if I didn't drink?
00:46:39I guess we'll never know.
00:46:41But I do know you are a brilliant writer.
00:46:43I swear, that was not me peeing.
00:47:02I swear, that was not me peeing.
00:47:02Last one to drop their hand off the car wins.
00:47:18Watch out.
00:47:19Watch out.
00:47:24Gracias.
00:47:27Uncle Brady saw some bad boys right over there.
00:47:30Oh, yeah.
00:47:32Yeah, you gotta be real careful.
00:47:35They got 10,000 eyes.
00:47:38Kind of like Mac's wife.
00:47:40Are you gonna do it?
00:47:41It's been a long time.
00:47:44I'm scared.
00:47:45Do it.
00:47:45You won't.
00:47:46No balls.
00:47:48No balls?
00:47:49I got him!
00:47:56I got him!
00:47:57I got you!
00:47:58You got no balls.
00:48:01Oh, yeah.
00:48:02I need one of your hairs.
00:48:04You ready for your little leash?
00:48:10¿Qué pasó, little flower?
00:48:12Yes.
00:48:13Dad, what sex?
00:48:15Uh, what?
00:48:16Have fun with that one, Dad.
00:48:19Listen up.
00:48:19He's got a lot of good advice.
00:48:21Uh, yeah, Philippa.
00:48:22Thank you very much.
00:48:24What's sex?
00:48:25Huh?
00:48:25Tell it, Dad.
00:48:26Let's hear it.
00:48:27Excuse me.
00:48:28Thank you.
00:48:30Um, uh, sex is like, like, it's when you hug someone.
00:48:35Come on, bro.
00:48:35That's it.
00:48:36Hug real tight.
00:48:37So, wait till I've had sex with my grandpa.
00:48:41I wouldn't be surprised.
00:48:44Okay.
00:48:46Well, I-I guess you're old enough.
00:48:50Sex is, uh, is-is-is when Mommy and-and Daddy, uh, hug.
00:48:56And-and-and-and we don't-we don't have any clothes on.
00:49:00Well, you better get naked and start hugging,
00:49:03because they said dinner will be ready in two sex.
00:49:06Yes!
00:49:08Yes!
00:49:11Yes!
00:49:12Dinner will be ready in two sex!
00:49:15He's my son, and I love him, but, you know, you hate to see him struggle.
00:49:19This thing that he's struggling with, is this, uh, this got anything to do with why he's not married and not settled down?
00:49:28Yeah.
00:49:30Well, hopefully you'll figure it out.
00:49:33We got a guy coming up that's gonna help with that.
00:49:36Oh.
00:49:37I get it.
00:49:41You do?
00:49:42Yeah.
00:49:43Hey, it's fine.
00:49:45I mean, every-every family has got someone who is different.
00:49:50I mean, and you're a fireman, right?
00:49:52I mean, you've probably seen a whole lot of stuff.
00:49:55I used to be a fireman.
00:49:57Drinking got the best of me.
00:49:59I couldn't control it, so...
00:50:01They fired me.
00:50:03Tried the Bible.
00:50:05Jim Beam versus John 310.
00:50:07That didn't work out.
00:50:08Well, Jim Beam won.
00:50:10Yeah.
00:50:11Then I went to AA.
00:50:12Let go and let God.
00:50:16I'm keeping my side of the street clean.
00:50:18Huh.
00:50:19You know, as a parent, I've made mistakes, jeez.
00:50:23I mean, I know it really bothers Ron-Ron, the way I focus in on Franklin's potential.
00:50:28But Ron-Ron, he's special.
00:50:37Special.
00:50:39You know, a couple of old-school guys like you and me.
00:50:45Gotta learn, there's a new world out there, man.
00:50:48New rules.
00:50:50Charlie's gonna be all right.
00:50:51Yeah.
00:50:52And I mean, things...
00:50:53Things are a lot easier nowadays for guys like him.
00:50:58I'll be right back.
00:51:01It's like a little fly kite.
00:51:03He looks like a real goer.
00:51:05Watch what I do next here.
00:51:07Okay, big guy.
00:51:11Time to go to work.
00:51:16Going somewhere with all those bells and smells?
00:51:19Uh, I was just about to.
00:51:22I know where you're going.
00:51:23You do?
00:51:24Yep.
00:51:26And I think you two make a great pair.
00:51:29You do?
00:51:29Yes.
00:51:29Yes.
00:51:30I even like to ring up her name.
00:51:32Chantasia.
00:51:35Chantasia.
00:51:36Oh.
00:51:37Yeah.
00:51:37Chantasia.
00:51:38No, look.
00:51:38And I know what you don't say.
00:51:40I know I push a little hard.
00:51:42But it's because you've got so much promise.
00:51:45And I want you to deliver on it.
00:51:47See, back in the day, when I was coming up your age,
00:51:49in the time,
00:51:52I never would have dreamed I'd have a son
00:51:54that's on the verge of running a city.
00:51:56I just want to say to you, son,
00:51:59I'm proud of you.
00:52:00Oh, Bob.
00:52:01Real proud.
00:52:02Oh, Bob.
00:52:03Thanks, man.
00:52:06Now, you go ahead on for your walk.
00:52:10And don't make it late.
00:52:11No son of mine is going to take longer than a woman to get ready.
00:52:15Oh, come on, man.
00:52:16You sound like an episode of Sanford and Son.
00:52:21Oh.
00:52:23Ah.
00:52:24Romance is in his house.
00:52:27Hey, hey.
00:52:29Hey, Shay Shay.
00:52:30Hey, have a nice walk.
00:52:31All right.
00:52:33Oh, what is he going all dressed up?
00:52:37Who isn't here?
00:52:38Hey, Charlie, where are you?
00:52:41Charlie?
00:52:42Charlie and Franklin?
00:52:51Oh, Lord.
00:52:58Oh, hey, you're here.
00:52:59How you doing?
00:53:01I'm good.
00:53:02Funny seeing you here.
00:53:04Mom, really?
00:53:05Well, I just, uh, well, being that I'm here, you're here, I thought we could talk about
00:53:09this whole, um, fake mom thing.
00:53:13Uh, what about it?
00:53:14Maybe, you know, well, not that I thought about it a lot, but I did, uh, jot down some alts,
00:53:20as you kids like to say.
00:53:22Uh, it's never said by.
00:53:23They don't say alts for alts.
00:53:24Okay.
00:53:25You, you wrote all that.
00:53:26Yeah, just a few, um, just a few alternatives to fake mom.
00:53:31Um, not that I don't love it, but I just thought, why not trophy mom?
00:53:36That could be, you know, like a trophy mom, you know?
00:53:38No.
00:53:38I always wanted to fake.
00:53:39No.
00:53:39No?
00:53:40Okay, not great.
00:53:41Okay.
00:53:41How about, um, mom again?
00:53:44Mom again.
00:53:45You know what I mean?
00:53:46Like, when you call me, you'd be like, mom again?
00:53:48No, fake mom.
00:53:50Okay.
00:53:50How about, uh, this mom?
00:53:52This mom?
00:53:53This mom?
00:53:54You know what I mean?
00:53:55Who would, who would say any of this?
00:53:57Probably nobody.
00:53:58How about other mom?
00:53:59Cute mom?
00:54:00Mom mom?
00:54:01Cute mom.
00:54:02Okay, mom mom.
00:54:03Mom mom's cute, right?
00:54:04You'd be like, mom mom.
00:54:05What am I, two years old?
00:54:06Because it wouldn't be like your first mom.
00:54:08I have my real mom.
00:54:10Uh-huh.
00:54:10And then I have you.
00:54:11Right, and I would never want to.
00:54:13And you are my fake mom.
00:54:14And you need to stop trying to act, like, take the place for her.
00:54:18Yeah, exactly.
00:54:18Yeah, I would never.
00:54:19Well, you're trying to.
00:54:20No, I don't.
00:54:21I wouldn't.
00:54:22I think this has been a productive talk.
00:54:26All right, well.
00:54:28Um, do you want me to button up your shirt?
00:54:29No.
00:54:30Okay, it's supposed to be like that.
00:54:31Yeah.
00:54:31Okay, all right.
00:54:33All right.
00:54:33My family may not win this, which means my plans get flushed.
00:54:46You've got to tell your dad.
00:54:48We both do.
00:54:48I can't keep lying.
00:54:53My dad is crazy.
00:54:54It's like he wants me to be mayor someday.
00:54:57So it's, you know.
00:54:59Yeah, and you can't do that with a Mexican woman by your side.
00:55:03What?
00:55:03I didn't say that.
00:55:05What?
00:55:05Look, Franklin.
00:55:07I'm glad that you worry about your father.
00:55:09I worry about my father, too.
00:55:11They want so much for us, even though sometimes it's misguided.
00:55:15But I think that we've been fooling ourselves, hoping that this will work.
00:55:21What are you talking about?
00:55:23We were going to lean on each other, but maybe we can't.
00:55:27And it's better that we learn it now before we commit to something that isn't going to work.
00:55:32Philippa, what are you saying?
00:55:35Making it easier on both of us.
00:55:38What?
00:55:41Philippa, what are you doing?
00:55:43Philippa.
00:55:44Oh, fuck.
00:55:58Ron, Ron, I told you to knock that off.
00:56:01You're going to mess around and put a hole in the back of your neck.
00:56:03So you're just telling me stuff, huh?
00:56:05You told me.
00:56:06Yeah, I told you.
00:56:08You told me?
00:56:09Yes.
00:56:11Okay.
00:56:12Oh, that's it, Ron, Ron?
00:56:14Wear those pants, brother.
00:56:15That's a way to tell your wife who's the boss, brother.
00:56:19You know something?
00:56:19Watch this.
00:56:21Kiko, check this out.
00:56:23I'm in this contest where I keep my hand on this damn car so I can win for the family.
00:56:28I'm a little thirsty now.
00:56:30I want you to go get me one of those beers, open the top, and put the beer on my lips and pour it in my mouth.
00:56:37Now.
00:56:39Bullshit.
00:56:39Do I look like someone who's going to pop a beer, put it on your lips, and pour it down your throat?
00:56:47Never mind, baby.
00:56:48Wow.
00:56:49What a beautiful thing.
00:56:51I mean, look.
00:56:52Every creed, and race, and creed, just hanging loose.
00:56:58It's...
00:56:59I want to give a speech.
00:57:01Oh, so are you going to make that speech, Hopper, or what?
00:57:12Well, I got to write something down first.
00:57:16That man is out of his mind.
00:57:17He's a lunatic, man.
00:57:18What's up, guys?
00:57:22What's up, Charlie?
00:57:24You smell when I'm stepping in?
00:57:26Smell something, brother.
00:57:27Yeah, that kid used to say that.
00:57:29What kid used to say that?
00:57:31I don't...
00:57:31I mean, I heard a couple kids say it.
00:57:34Oh, hey, Charlie, man.
00:57:35I see a hybrid's got all the latest gadgets, man.
00:57:37That's pretty cool.
00:57:37It's like Star Trek.
00:57:40Mine?
00:57:41Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:57:41You got one of those special force fields.
00:57:44What do they call it?
00:57:45Pussy deflector.
00:57:46Charlie, where were you?
00:57:49I was in the lake, washing up.
00:57:51Oh, yeah?
00:57:52Did you wash behind your ears, fool?
00:57:54Did you wash behind your ears?
00:58:00Wash behind the ears.
00:58:03Why don't you shut?
00:58:04Fuck up.
00:58:06You know, Jose, maybe you should try washing.
00:58:08I mean, even your tent has skid marks.
00:58:10And don't be too stingy with the lever 2,000.
00:58:12Maybe you should call them and see if they've got a lever 10,000.
00:58:16Dude, what are you talking about, man?
00:58:17That's pheromones.
00:58:18The chicks dig that.
00:58:19Jose does smell.
00:58:22Got that right.
00:58:23Hey, pass me that bullhorn.
00:58:26What?
00:58:26Hey, y'all.
00:58:32Jose B.O. smells so bad, he need the right and the left guard.
00:58:39You get it?
00:58:39Because it's the right guard.
00:58:40That's what it's called.
00:58:41And it smells, so he needs both sides of it because it's the left.
00:58:44Yeah, they got it.
00:58:46Y'all ain't like that one?
00:58:46Okay, I got another one for you.
00:58:48Huh?
00:58:48What is the flattest surface that you can iron anything off?
00:58:55A white girl's ass.
00:59:00Bullshit, bullshit.
00:59:02Check out this masterpiece of assery.
00:59:05Oh.
00:59:06Yeah, yeah.
00:59:08Mind if I do a little tucking?
00:59:09I don't know, it looks pretty flat to me.
00:59:12Hold on, wait a minute.
00:59:13Maybe this is a bad angle.
00:59:14Yeah, yeah, yeah, you check it out.
00:59:15We got a challenge on the plane, ladies and gentlemen.
00:59:17Yeah, my bad.
00:59:20I was wrong, you're right.
00:59:21Okay, I'll concede the point.
00:59:22Oh, I got one, I got one.
00:59:24All right, uh.
00:59:26Okay, y'all, what's nine inches long and white?
00:59:29Huh?
00:59:30Anybody?
00:59:31Anybody?
00:59:32Not a damn thing.
00:59:37Oh, really?
00:59:39Really, I call bullshit.
00:59:40Oh, yeah?
00:59:41Check out this masterpiece of dickery.
00:59:44All right, all right, fine, fine, fine.
00:59:49Give me that horn.
00:59:49See?
00:59:50That's how it's started.
00:59:50All right, and now Charlie has taken the bullhorn, ladies and gentlemen.
00:59:54This competition is heating up.
00:59:56Let's see what he's got.
00:59:57Did you hear about the black guy and the Mexican guy that opened a restaurant together?
01:00:01I know.
01:00:02It's called Nacho Mama.
01:00:05Wait.
01:00:06Oh, hey, what happens when a white guy with a boner walks into a wall?
01:00:10What?
01:00:11He breaks his nose.
01:00:17Franklin is up.
01:00:18He takes the bullhorn.
01:00:20All right.
01:00:21Why do white people love hockey?
01:00:24Why?
01:00:25Why's that?
01:00:26Because if they can't be a cop, that's the only chance they get to beat something black.
01:00:30Oh, you face.
01:00:35What do you call a black man in a chute?
01:00:38The defendant.
01:00:39I got one.
01:00:44I got one.
01:00:45You guys, wait for this.
01:00:46Ready?
01:00:47Oh, ladies and gentlemen, looks like the pole dancer wants to enter the competition.
01:00:51She's teeing it up.
01:00:52Let's see what she's got.
01:00:53What do you call a black...
01:00:57Wait.
01:00:58Oh, and Daisy Duke's got nothing.
01:01:02You know, fuck this shit.
01:01:04All right.
01:01:04Well, there's some good news and bad news.
01:01:06While she had the bullhorn, ratings spiked, but the bad news is, everybody's IQ went down.
01:01:16Oh, okay.
01:01:18All right.
01:01:18All right.
01:01:18I got one for you.
01:01:20Hey, what do white women make for dinner?
01:01:23What?
01:01:24Reservations.
01:01:29Oh, no.
01:01:30And ladies and gentlemen, the park rangers are getting involved in the competition,
01:01:34and either this brother is colorblind, or he is just flat out helping the wrong family.
01:01:40You sure about this?
01:01:42Y'all love it.
01:01:43When a black and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving?
01:01:47Who?
01:01:48The cop.
01:01:50The cop.
01:01:54Yeah, okay, brother.
01:01:55Go check on out.
01:01:56Okay.
01:01:57Thank you.
01:01:57Yeah, you can go on and clock out.
01:01:59Thank you.
01:01:59And now Franklin takes the bullhorn.
01:02:03Let's see if he can pull one out for his team.
01:02:06All right.
01:02:06Why do white folks have so many pets?
01:02:09Why?
01:02:10Because they can't own people anymore.
01:02:14Boom!
01:02:15Drop bullhorn.
01:02:16That's right.
01:02:21Hey, hey, hey.
01:02:25What's going on, everybody?
01:02:27My name's Johnny John John.
01:02:29I'll be running the intervention, and it is for Charlie Jones.
01:02:32Is there a Charlie Jones?
01:02:33No, no, not now.
01:02:34An intervention for me?
01:02:37No, no, no, no.
01:02:38You can go now.
01:02:39We don't need you.
01:02:39We're fine.
01:02:40I should have seen you a mile away.
01:02:42Yes, sir.
01:02:42Let's get right to it.
01:02:44Anybody want to speak up about this joker?
01:02:48Okay.
01:02:49I'll go.
01:02:50All right.
01:02:51This is an intervention.
01:02:53Tenth one's free.
01:02:54Another joke we do.
01:02:55I like to lighten the mood a little bit when someone's heading to the grave.
01:02:58Your family put together a list of things you've done while drunk.
01:03:02They put together a list?
01:03:04Yeah.
01:03:04That's how it works.
01:03:05Yeah, it's a short list.
01:03:07Let's see.
01:03:08Boo.
01:03:08You burned down a farm with a barn and three cows?
01:03:14They were goats.
01:03:15Oh, they were goats.
01:03:16Only goats.
01:03:18Oh.
01:03:18Well, that's cool.
01:03:19He's a great guy.
01:03:21For he's a jo...
01:03:22No, you're horrible.
01:03:23I'm kidding again.
01:03:24Oh, it keeps going.
01:03:25You got drunk at a carnival and you shot a fireman?
01:03:28He was off-duty.
01:03:30And a bit shifty.
01:03:31Oh.
01:03:32Okay.
01:03:32Off-duty and shifty.
01:03:34He was shifty.
01:03:35Sounds to me like you're enabling.
01:03:37Well, that's a pretty big word for something that I'm not really doing.
01:03:40You unbolted the Ferris wheel, too?
01:03:42Yeah.
01:03:43It's a wheel.
01:03:44So we can roll them away.
01:03:46To give it a head start for the next town.
01:03:48Hello?
01:03:49You shaved the librarian's head?
01:03:50She may have had lice.
01:03:52All right.
01:03:52And you pushed your cousin Bobby down some stairs?
01:03:55He had lice.
01:03:57Right.
01:03:57He's got the rid and the comb.
01:03:59All right.
01:03:59You did him a favor.
01:04:00Did you shoot 72 bottle rockets at your old high school?
01:04:05Let's just say that I enhanced its curb appeal.
01:04:07And most of them were duds.
01:04:09Over 50%?
01:04:10Duh.
01:04:11Well, holy shit.
01:04:12What am I doing here?
01:04:13What a waste of my time.
01:04:15This guy seems fine to me.
01:04:16You single?
01:04:18Uh...
01:04:19I am.
01:04:21But now that you mention it, I was.
01:04:24But a few hours ago, I'm not...
01:04:27Now I'm not...
01:04:28Not...
01:04:29No.
01:04:30Final answer?
01:04:31Final answer.
01:04:32I wasn't even talking to you.
01:04:33I was talking to her.
01:04:35Me?
01:04:35Holy God.
01:04:37Sounds like a no.
01:04:38Um...
01:04:38You know what?
01:04:39This...
01:04:39This...
01:04:39This whole event.
01:04:41Can...
01:04:42Can...
01:04:42Can munge my taint.
01:04:44I don't need this...
01:04:45This...
01:04:45This intervention.
01:04:46Well, I fucking don't need it either.
01:04:48All right.
01:04:48I'm outie like five fowdy.
01:04:50Anybody need a wee?
01:04:51Holla at your boy.
01:04:52It's nice out here.
01:04:54I'm joking.
01:04:55This place is fun if I was the Zika virus.
01:04:58Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:04:59Uber?
01:05:00Uber?
01:05:00Uber?
01:05:01What the hell was that all about?
01:05:02Look, son, I...
01:05:03We didn't mean to.
01:05:04Shit.
01:05:05Took my hand off the car.
01:05:07Oh, yeah.
01:05:08So now it's just me and Mr. Jonas.
01:05:11Oh, no.
01:05:12Puppy's gonna sweat the fly.
01:05:14No, no, no, no.
01:05:14Puppy, puppy, puppy, wake up!
01:05:15What are you doing?
01:05:16What?
01:05:17What?
01:05:17What?
01:05:18Dad.
01:05:18You let go of the door, Pops.
01:05:21I won!
01:05:22I won!
01:05:22I won!
01:05:23I won!
01:05:23We won!
01:05:24Oh, my gosh!
01:05:25Well, we won, but it was kind of fun the way it turned out.
01:05:29Why doesn't everybody stay?
01:05:30I agree.
01:05:31Let's just everybody stay and enjoy the weekend.
01:05:33All right.
01:05:34We'll stay.
01:05:35But you gotta be able to keep a leash on your son, Charlie.
01:05:38What?
01:05:38Wait, wait, wait.
01:05:40What the hell did that just mean?
01:05:41Madonna, some pendejo tied a pinchy mosca on my shirt with the blonde hair.
01:05:50The whites cheated.
01:05:51I mean, come on now.
01:05:52The whites cheated and now Charlie is after my son, Franklin.
01:05:57What?
01:05:58What?
01:05:58Pops, what are you talking about?
01:06:00Come on now, Franklin.
01:06:01I mean, you should have told me that you were gay.
01:06:03I mean, is that why you don't want to run for mayor?
01:06:07Are you kidding?
01:06:08I mean, I'm not gay, and if I was gay, I could get way better than Charlie.
01:06:11You think I'm after Franklin?
01:06:13And I'm drunk!
01:06:14Okay, okay.
01:06:15You might have me on the drunk thing, but you're out of your mind.
01:06:18Everybody knows that Franklin's in love with Philippa.
01:06:21What?
01:06:22What?
01:06:23Oh, Charlie.
01:06:24Even me, the huge drunk, could tell 14 seconds after I got here, and you still don't see it?
01:06:30Philippa, is that right?
01:06:34Poppy, I've been meaning to tell you.
01:06:36Yes, okay?
01:06:38Franklin and I have been dating for over a year.
01:06:41What?
01:06:41What?
01:06:42You need to keep your son away from my daughter.
01:06:44Hey, no, no.
01:06:45You ain't calling no shots in my family, El Chapo.
01:06:48Oh, well, Pop, calm down.
01:06:49No, no, no, no, no.
01:06:50And you, and you, I can't believe this, son.
01:06:52You've been sneaking around with her behind my back and lying and standing up, Chantasia,
01:06:59who is hot to trot.
01:07:00Wow, hot to trot isn't accurate.
01:07:03Okay, fine.
01:07:03I came up here because we all needed to get together.
01:07:08I love Philippa.
01:07:09That is my girl.
01:07:11That is why we are all here.
01:07:12I don't know where the white family came from, but that's why our families are here.
01:07:16We planned it.
01:07:17But you know what I hate?
01:07:18Hmm.
01:07:18Camping is what I hate.
01:07:20I knew it.
01:07:20I knew it.
01:07:21I fucking knew it.
01:07:23You are not perfect, brother.
01:07:24You don't want to be a camper.
01:07:25Franklin's not perfect.
01:07:27He is a dumbass.
01:07:28He fuck with Philippa.
01:07:30I fucking knew it.
01:07:32And I thought he was gay, too.
01:07:33This camping can jump up my ass.
01:07:36These Jurassic Park mosquitoes can jump up my ass.
01:07:39Sleeping in my car at night, waiting for somebody to come and kill me.
01:07:41Can jump up your ass.
01:07:43Exactly.
01:07:44Right.
01:07:44All this can jump up my ass.
01:07:45Well, if you're going to act that way, then why did we say we'd let you stay?
01:07:48Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:07:50Let us stay.
01:07:52Yeah.
01:07:52The whites cheated, and we're going to win this contest and kick you out.
01:07:57Yeah, man.
01:07:57The hell with all you guys.
01:07:59Final contest.
01:08:00Winner or go home.
01:08:01Let's get it out.
01:08:02Let's get it out.
01:08:03Come on.
01:08:04Let's do this.
01:08:06Huh?
01:08:07Go this way.
01:08:08It's game over, tacos and schlitz.
01:08:10Hey, gather around here.
01:08:16I'm Peter Gahlke, and I'm one of the original spectators, so I think I'm probably most qualified
01:08:22to describe what we're about to witness here.
01:08:25This obstacle course race is two miles total, give or take a mile or two.
01:08:30And it's through the woods, and then you've got to get past that lake, and then make it
01:08:35up to that clearing way up there, because that's where the finish line's at.
01:08:39So what do you say we all just sit back here and let's enjoy the show?
01:08:44Y'all ready for this?
01:08:44Let's do this.
01:08:45Let's do this.
01:08:47Let's go.
01:08:48Okay, everybody, here are the rules.
01:08:50Rules?
01:08:51Yeah.
01:08:51No rules.
01:08:52Ready, set, go.
01:08:53Here's the shit.
01:08:53I'm going to go.
01:08:54Hey.
01:08:55I got to turn on my shoes.
01:08:57Yeah.
01:08:58Woo.
01:08:58I don't want to be pushing my feet.
01:09:01Woo.
01:09:03I'm coming out of here.
01:09:07I want to stay.
01:09:12Yeah, why do parents always have to ruin everything?
01:09:14I don't want to go.
01:09:16Me either.
01:09:17Wait, I have an idea.
01:09:19Raleigh, you still have that map?
01:09:20Is a bear shit in the woods?
01:09:23Yes, young man, it does.
01:09:25Ew.
01:09:26Ew.
01:09:27He's gross.
01:09:29He smokes too much weed.
01:09:30One time he got so baked he tried to take his pants off over his head.
01:09:33What?
01:09:34It's an old Woody Allen joke.
01:09:35Okay, so you see this ridge here?
01:09:37It horseshoes around this mountain.
01:09:39And if we cut across here, then we're there.
01:09:42The plan only works if we can get to the fish line first.
01:09:44Think we can get there first?
01:09:46Oh, yeah.
01:09:46First is my middle name.
01:09:48Is?
01:09:48No, sweetie.
01:09:49It's Olivia.
01:09:50All right, let's do this.
01:09:51On three.
01:09:51One, two, three.
01:09:53Hey!
01:09:53Let's go!
01:09:55And the Black Jones family is in the lead.
01:09:58And they're cars!
01:09:59You're killing it, Dad.
01:10:03Get your arms down, man.
01:10:04Get away from me!
01:10:10Look, I just want to say I'm sorry.
01:10:12Go talking!
01:10:13Just with me!
01:10:14I'm not sorry, sorry, but I'm sorry.
01:10:23You can't keep up, can you?
01:10:24Look, you're the one out of shape.
01:10:26I'm not out of shape.
01:10:27I could go for hours.
01:10:28It's an old ass, huh?
01:10:30Hey.
01:10:32Wait.
01:10:34Is that a snake?
01:10:36What?
01:10:36Right there.
01:10:37Right there.
01:10:37Oh, shit.
01:10:52That ain't no damn snake.
01:10:55You know, your scream is kind of a...
01:10:59You know?
01:11:01You need a man up.
01:11:02You know?
01:11:03Man up on your...
01:11:04I should have told my family.
01:11:09But I don't know what happened.
01:11:10We just fell in love.
01:11:11Yeah.
01:11:12My dad's so furious.
01:11:14Oh.
01:11:14Well, girl, your dad be overreacting, okay, if you ask me.
01:11:17Yeah.
01:11:18I mean, it's not a bad thing.
01:11:20It's kind of a good thing.
01:11:21Really?
01:11:22I mean, I was in shock.
01:11:23I was like, what?
01:11:25I was clutching my pearls like I was watching Days of Our Lives or something.
01:11:28Like, what?
01:11:29I did not see that coming.
01:11:30But it's a good thing.
01:11:33Yeah.
01:11:33Y'all might make some little Obamas or something, little Barack's up in here.
01:11:38Girl, all I can say is, I think your dad's acting like a big old kid.
01:11:42Right.
01:11:43Surprise, surprise.
01:11:44All the men are acting like children.
01:11:46And speaking of children, I cannot hear mine.
01:11:49It's like...
01:11:49Yeah, that is real.
01:11:50They real quiet.
01:11:51Like, when I put a little bit of Benadryl in the Captain Crunch, you know, they get real quiet then.
01:11:57What?
01:11:57I wouldn't really drug my babies.
01:11:59That's a joke.
01:12:00Okay, okay.
01:12:01I was like...
01:12:02I was like, wow.
01:12:03Just a little bit, but then it...
01:12:05Kids!
01:12:06Chuckie?
01:12:07Rhonda!
01:12:09Chuckie?
01:12:09They're not there.
01:12:10We should go.
01:12:10Let's try to parent.
01:12:13Hey!
01:12:17Oh, my God!
01:12:18Really?
01:12:26Seriously?
01:12:28What?
01:12:30You think they're gonna shoot dollar bills at you with a t-shirt gun?
01:12:33No.
01:12:34This is a public service.
01:12:35I do this for charity.
01:12:37Not dollar bills.
01:12:38You drunk?
01:12:39All right, nothing to see here.
01:12:43Down the trail, down the trail.
01:12:44Nothing to see here.
01:12:45Nothing to see here.
01:12:46We got a race to run.
01:12:47Come on, sweetie.
01:12:48Okay, I'm up.
01:12:49Come on, let's go.
01:12:51Come on.
01:12:52Wait for me.
01:12:52And the bombs of war will make you bleed
01:13:00When the hugs of love are all you need
01:13:08Hey, little buddy!
01:13:10You want to sing the chorus?
01:13:12The hugs of love are all you need
01:13:17The hugs of love are all out
01:13:20I'm gonna get you
01:13:25You slimy little bastard
01:13:27Do you see them yet?
01:13:39Don't see them, but I think I hear them
01:13:41Hold on, hold on
01:13:45Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop
01:13:48What?
01:13:50What?
01:13:51Do you hear that?
01:13:52Hear what?
01:13:54What does that sound?
01:13:55Oh, shit
01:13:56Maybe it's a bear or even worse, a monster
01:14:00Oh, damn, what's behind those bushes?
01:14:04Oh, what beast is coming towards us?
01:14:06Who are you?
01:14:07What are you?
01:14:08Show yourself
01:14:08Oh, shit
01:14:11I'm just kidding, baby
01:14:13We're looking for the kids
01:14:14They ran off
01:14:15Is this some kind of joke?
01:14:17Because we're going to win?
01:14:18No, really?
01:14:19I'm just curious
01:14:19On what planet
01:14:20Might that be true?
01:14:21Oh
01:14:22I don't even know how you got in the lead
01:14:23No, really
01:14:25Uh, uh, San-
01:14:26Shanta-
01:14:26Shantasia?
01:14:28Oh, Shantasia
01:14:28Can't get it right?
01:14:29No, I thought it was Shantasia
01:14:31What was he, uh
01:14:31You said it the way I said it
01:14:34Because
01:14:34Anyway
01:14:34She
01:14:36Said something about the kids
01:14:38And a finish line
01:14:40Wow
01:14:40Is that a bat?
01:14:42Really?
01:14:43Is that another bat?
01:14:47I thought you were going to quit
01:14:48No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait
01:14:49Is that
01:14:51Is that three bats?
01:14:53I guess we'll never know
01:14:54What we could have been
01:14:54No, no, no, no
01:14:55No booze
01:14:56No, no bottle
01:14:57Five
01:14:59Five
01:15:00Five bats
01:15:01No, no, no
01:15:04I'm serious
01:15:04Look here, we can't stop
01:15:24They say bats get stuck in your head
01:15:25No, no, no, no
01:15:26That's a myth
01:15:27Total urban legend
01:15:29Holy shit
01:15:30Oh, shit
01:15:31What?
01:15:33There's a bat on your head
01:15:34Guys, guys, guys
01:15:36Come on
01:15:36I am not a moron
01:15:38Clearly there's no bat on my head
01:15:40How drunk are you?
01:15:41Irrelevant
01:15:41I promise you, son
01:15:43There's a bat in your hair
01:15:44Get up in your head, man
01:15:44Come on, Charlie
01:15:45You don't feel that?
01:15:47Stop
01:15:47Get it off
01:15:48Get it off
01:15:50Get it off
01:15:51Don't get it off
01:15:53Don't throw a watch
01:15:54Everybody
01:15:54Get a rock
01:15:55No, no, no, no
01:15:55Bad idea
01:15:56Get up on the bat here
01:15:57Ow, ow
01:15:58Still
01:15:59Enough with the damn rocks
01:16:02Get it with the bug racket
01:16:03Yeah
01:16:04Yeah
01:16:04It's not my head, not my head
01:16:13Put the kids
01:16:15The finish line
01:16:16Oh, hey, thanks, everybody
01:16:21No, I'm fine
01:16:23It's all good
01:16:24There was nothing about that that I liked
01:16:34What the hell did you do this?
01:17:04Yeah
01:17:04We don't want to go home
01:17:07Us kids get along
01:17:08How come you adults can't get along?
01:17:10What?
01:17:11What?
01:17:12Well, wow
01:17:14This is some muddy bullshit
01:17:16Yeah
01:17:16But I'm damn impressed
01:17:17Yeah, but who's gonna get a whooping first?
01:17:19Kids, not bad
01:17:21You dug a hole
01:17:22You filled it with mud
01:17:23And made it look like the trail
01:17:25And you caught yourselves a bunch of dumbass men
01:17:29You know what's funny?
01:17:31Everybody covered in mud like this
01:17:33You just can't tell anybody apart
01:17:36There's a lesson in that
01:17:38What?
01:17:39A big, obvious, freaking lesson
01:17:42Preach
01:17:44So, being that you can't tell anybody apart
01:17:48The bottom line is this
01:17:52Are you an asshole or not?
01:17:58Choose wisely
01:17:59So, let's not be assholes
01:18:01And let's all just get along
01:18:05And where's the Rodney King, girl?
01:18:07La Raza
01:18:08What does that mean, baby?
01:18:12Yeah, yeah, it's just a Latin bonding
01:18:13Got it
01:18:14How'd you do?
01:18:14Hey, that was a really, really nice speech, fake mom
01:18:18Oh, well, that's
01:18:20Still doing the fake mom stuff right after the
01:18:23Cheyenne
01:18:24You call me by my name
01:18:28Sweetheart
01:18:30I am so touched by the
01:18:32You know, I've always felt that
01:18:34We had too much
01:18:34Okay, don't hit on a 16
01:18:35Got it
01:18:36Don't hit on a 16
01:18:37They said the tomato juice would get rid of skunk steak
01:18:43I hear the ice cream truck
01:18:47That's beautiful, Graham
01:18:48Well, look, hold up
01:18:49Hey, hey, hey
01:18:50What's wrong with my knee?
01:18:53Look, you're my brother, okay?
01:18:54Yeah, yeah
01:18:55Listen to me, I'm talking to you
01:18:57Yes
01:18:57Okay, and I love you, man
01:18:59And someday you are gonna be male, bro
01:19:01Because if anybody can do it, you can
01:19:03You think so?
01:19:05I think what he's trying to say, Pop, he said, uh
01:19:07It's time to propose
01:19:09You know, to Charlie
01:19:10Philippa's gonna get proposed to
01:19:15Philippa's gonna get proposed to
01:19:17Your neck, your neck
01:19:18Yeah
01:19:19Well, Franklin, you're down on one knee
01:19:21I think you'd better handle your business
01:19:24Philippa
01:19:24Just follow your heart
01:19:27What? Is this...
01:19:28Y'all for real?
01:19:29Oh
01:19:30Oh
01:19:31Oh
01:19:32Oh, Franklin
01:19:32Wow
01:19:34Do it, Franklin
01:19:35Oh
01:19:35Will you marry me?
01:19:43Yes
01:19:44You will?
01:19:45Yes, yes, yes
01:19:46Oh
01:19:47Oh
01:19:48Yes
01:19:49Oh
01:19:50Yes
01:19:51Oh
01:19:52Yes
01:19:53Oh
01:19:54Oh
01:19:55Oh
01:19:56Oh
01:19:57Oh
01:19:58Oh
01:19:59Oh
01:20:00Oh
01:20:01Oh
01:20:02Hey, hey, hey
01:20:20Hey, hey, hey
01:20:32I just want to say
01:20:45Another 4th of July
01:20:48Here we are again
01:20:49I'm just so happy that we can all make it
01:20:51Yes
01:20:52¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:21:22¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:21:52¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:21:54¡Gracias!
01:23:26¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:28¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:30¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:32¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:36¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:38¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:40¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:42¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:44¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:46¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:48¡Gracias!
01:23:50¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:52¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:54¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:56¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:23:58¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:24:00¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:24:02¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:24:04Hey, Gunga Din, what are you doing here? This is our site, Site 16.
01:24:09No way, we have Site 16.
01:24:10Oh, are you going to build a 7-Eleven here?
01:24:13Yeah, right next to your nail salon.
01:24:14Oh, yeah.
01:24:15Oh, snap, y'all hear that?
01:24:17What are you people doing here? Finish up the gardening and go.
01:24:21Hey, things are hitting up down there. I got one, I got one.
01:24:24Uh, how do you know a Chinese guy broke into your house?
01:24:28How?
01:24:28Oh, how?
01:24:30Your homework's all done and he takes an hour to pull out of your driveway.
01:24:33Did he just say that?
01:24:38Yeah, he did.
01:24:39Let me see that.
01:24:40Let me see that.
01:24:42What did St. Peter's say when you saw the Indian guy?
01:24:44What?
01:24:45Hey, Jesus, your cab's here.
01:24:49A little funnier than that.
01:24:50Okay, that's messed up.
01:24:51Yeah, that's good.
01:24:52Hey, you guys still want Campsite 16?
01:24:55Oh, I think we need to have a little contest.
01:24:57Yeah.
01:25:00Contest?
01:25:01Contest.
01:25:01It's over now.
01:25:04No math and no science questions.
01:25:09Yeah.
01:25:10No science.
01:25:11That's right.
01:25:12Yeah.
01:25:12Yeah.
01:25:13I'm talking to you.
01:25:18I'm talking to you.
01:25:31Gracias por ver el video.
01:26:01Gracias por ver el video.
01:26:31Gracias por ver el video.
01:27:01Gracias por ver el video.
01:27:31Gracias.
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