00:00Oh Craig, look at all the wee kids, they're so excited.
00:03I cannae believe you roped me into this.
00:05You'll make a great Santa, you're the same mental age as the kids.
00:08It's too hot in this thing.
00:10Just smile, be jolly and don't ask any kids to sit on your knee.
00:14Is that no what Santa does though?
00:16If Santa wants to go to jail and end up on a list, aye.
00:19Right, I'll just give them a high five then.
00:21Okay, who's first?
00:23Hi Santa.
00:24Alright then, high five. What do you want for Christmas?
00:27A pony.
00:28Why do you want a pony thereafter, he'd?
00:31Craig, I mean Santa does not mean that.
00:34Aye I do. First I get thrown off a horse and yesterday I had two run away with me and I was stuck in my sleigh.
00:41That's funny.
00:43How's it funny? They hot two motors and I've got to pay for the damage.
00:46Okay, here's your selection box and Santa'll see about that pony.
00:50No I won't.
00:51Bloody hell Craig, you cannae tell the Waynes they're no getting what they want at Christmas.
00:54I'm Santa, I'm in charge. Next.
00:57Hi.
00:59Your dress is pretty.
01:01Aw, thank you.
01:02Are you a real elf?
01:04Yes, I am a real elf.
01:06I thought so. My mummy says you have a pointy face like an elf.
01:11Aw, did she? Well, I'll have to have a wee word with your mummy then, won't I? Whereabouts is she?
01:16What do you want for Christmas?
01:18An iPhone 15.
01:20What age are you?
01:21Six.
01:21I'm 38 and I've got an iPhone 14 so you can dream on.
01:27What did you say to her?
01:28Bloody Wednesdays days. So out of touch with reality. Parents cannae afford iPhone 15s.
01:34Do you bring the presents?
01:37No I don't. Your mum and dad do and they don't get any credit.
01:40Craig!
01:40How dare you look at the state my daughter's in?
01:45Aw, so you're the one who said I had a pointy face then?
01:48What's that got to do with anything?
01:50I think you've got a cheek to talk when you've got a face the size of a bloody satellite dish.
01:54Call me an elf.
01:55Jingle bells, jingle bells.
01:56Is there any cookies for Santa?
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