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00:01Previously on Doc, I had a car accident.
00:03Lost a lot of my memory.
00:05This is too far.
00:06I'll retire the cape.
00:07I would settle for you committing to a therapist.
00:09I've been having memory seizures.
00:11She prescribed something?
00:12One milligram of lorazepam.
00:13I need you to change it to ten.
00:14Something wrong?
00:15She screwed up a dosage yesterday.
00:17I can't even practice.
00:18For how long?
00:19Jones assigning me a new neurologist.
00:21He'll be the one to assess.
00:22This one's from Liz, and she's definitely flirting.
00:25We have surgery scheduled with the vascular team for you.
00:27I'm not doing it, Dr. Heller.
00:29Where the hell is now with Ruby gone?
00:46Good morning, my dear.
00:51You've reached the home of Ruby and Dante.
00:54Please leave a message after the time.
00:57Hey, Pops.
00:58Just checking in.
00:59Not surprised you're not watching Mom's soap operas,
01:01but hoping maybe you're getting out of it.
01:04Anyway, I spoke to Bobby and Erica,
01:06and we were thinking,
01:07maybe we'll all come up there in a few weeks.
01:09Little family reunion.
01:11Everybody really misses you.
01:13Call when you can.
01:14Okay, Pops?
01:15Will.
01:16There.
01:17In the medial prefrontal cortex, that's a new locus of activity.
01:37Hm.
01:38And that's what's causing my memory seizures.
01:40It's certainly suggestive, but real-time data will allow us to correlate this area of brain activity with your symptoms.
01:47You understand that I need to keep pursuing my memories.
01:51I just want to stop the seizures and-and the side effects from the treatments.
01:56I do, Dr. Larson. Let's just be patient.
02:06Still looking for something to nail her.
02:09Keep scrolling.
02:10Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That one.
02:13What?
02:14It's an email from Dr. Walker. That's her shrink.
02:19To a Dr. Marks.
02:21Our girl's just CC'd.
02:25Those are her memory recovery sessions.
02:28This is gonna be fun.
02:30We knew he'd be back here like this.
02:32Yeah.
02:33He knew it too. I just-
02:35She had more fight in him.
02:37Hey, Dante.
02:38You're having a heart attack.
02:40That's why you're in so much pain.
02:42But we're starting meds to ease that.
02:44I know you have a DNR and you want comfort measures only.
02:47I promise we're gonna make this as painless as possible.
02:49Who would you like us to call?
02:51I have your-your son, Will, and your daughter, Erica, as your emergency contacts now.
02:59Re-reunion.
03:02Reunion?
03:04Reunion.
03:05Okay, what does that-what does that mean?
03:19Going home?
03:20That's a good sign.
03:21Hospitals are lots of fun.
03:23Unless you're the patient.
03:24Well, it's the doctor part I want to talk about.
03:26I got a new therapist, and I'm on the books three times a week.
03:31Plus, we're transitioning Amy's care to Dr. Mark's, and I'm planning on spending more time with my wife.
03:35You're not in the hot seat, Gina.
03:36And why do I feel like you just came back from Max's office?
03:39Dealing with other people suffering all day, every day, can wear anyone down.
03:43Even a superhero can end up doing something self-destructive, like confronting a violent abuser in their apartment.
03:51That's what I told him.
03:52So, compassion fatigue as opposed to me being crazy and out of control.
03:56I've known you for 24 years. I-I believe it's an accurate diagnosis.
04:00So, my plans sound okay?
04:03Sounds fine. In addition to a weekly debrief with me.
04:07You look fairly miserable. What's going on, buddy?
04:14Spare me your faint compassion and just give me some pills.
04:18Okay, for what?
04:19Kidney stones.
04:20Flank pain started this morning. It's coming in waves. Yep.
04:24I went out last night with a couple of puffs.
04:26A bit dehydrated. That's what brought it on.
04:28I can hydrate, flush these out at home.
04:31Just be a sport, write me some Vicodin.
04:34Out of curiosity, have you run a diagnostic urinalysis?
04:38No.
04:39There you go.
04:40I'm not wasting my time with this.
04:41And I am not prescribing a Schedule 1 narcotic without a proper workup.
04:45Just get Jake. He'll do it.
04:47Dr. Heller's busy with a case, and I'm sure he wouldn't do it.
04:49I'm a doctor? I know my own body.
04:51And right now you're a patient, so shut up and pee in the damn cup.
04:59Hey, why aren't you in school?
05:01Second semester senior who already got into college.
05:03I figured you could use the company.
05:07Well, that's very sweet, but you really don't need to worry.
05:11Did I say I'm worried? I'm just here to support you.
05:15Are you going to use one hertz or two?
05:17I find one hertz works best for temporal interference, deep brain stimulation.
05:21And you can reach the medial prefrontal cortex?
05:23Easily.
05:24Most patients experience only mild tingling.
05:27Starting now.
05:32You notice anything?
05:33Nope.
05:36Now?
05:38Still nothing.
05:39Oh, yeah.
05:40That's, that's something.
05:45Uh.
05:53Danny.
05:57I saw Danny.
05:58I'm sorry, who's that?
05:59Uh, he's, he's my son.
06:02That's the first time I've seen him.
06:04Interesting.
06:06And other things too.
06:08So, so many.
06:09All from that missing period.
06:12Well, we have confirmation then.
06:13The area that we saw in the fMRI is definitely active and contributing to your latest episodes.
06:17Uh.
06:18Uh.
06:19Uh.
06:20You alright?
06:21Yeah.
06:22Yeah.
06:23Uh, I just.
06:24Oh.
06:25This is not what usually happens.
06:27I'm shutting this down.
06:29Uh, we could, we could start again in a minute.
06:31Uh, no.
06:32We need to avoid further stimulation.
06:34Phenobarbital will calm the area.
06:36And stop the memory recovery.
06:38For now.
06:40No, you, you don't understand.
06:41I, uh.
06:44I, I lost my son.
06:46And, and, and these were new memories.
06:49From the last year of his life.
06:51And I'm sure that that's.
06:52Please, I could take the pain.
06:53What did we say before?
06:54About being patient?
06:56Pill.
06:57Uh.
07:05Now.
07:16Hey, is this Will?
07:17Yes.
07:18Hi, this is Dr. Heller over at Westside Hospital.
07:19Um.
07:20We have your father here.
07:21Oh God.
07:22How bad is it?
07:23He's having a heart attack and.
07:24I'm sorry to say the situation's dire.
07:25I'll be on the next plane.
07:26Listen.
07:27Your father's heavily medicated.
07:28And he's barely verbal.
07:29But he did say one thing to us.
07:30What's that?
07:31The word reunion.
07:32Um.
07:33That's all he could get out.
07:34Yeah, I, uh.
07:35I left a message for him this morning.
07:36Me and my sisters are planning a family reunion.
07:38I'm sure you know this, but.
07:39He did refuse surgery a few months ago, and he has a DNR, so I'm just trying to figure
07:42out if maybe he'd change his mind about things.
07:45Is surgery even possible now?
07:46I'm not sure.
07:47To be honest.
07:48It was very risky then, and his situation is much more acute.
07:50It was very risky then, and his situation is much more acute.
07:53And I'm just trying to figure out if he can actually change his mind about things.
07:57Is surgery even possible now?
07:58I'm not sure, to be honest.
07:59It was very risky then, and his situation is much more acute.
08:04I don't know why.
08:05Yeah.
08:06Okay.
08:07is much more acute now so well if there's any chance please just do what you can rachel's here
08:14she says it's urgent listen i'm i'm very sorry about this we'll just get here when you can and
08:19i'll stay in touch about the options okay thanks doc hey is me okay she's fine it's your dad
08:31our home phone number is still listed on his healthcare proxy form he had a stroke on the
08:38golf course uh okay well um where's he at which hospital i didn't want you to hear from a random
08:45person on the phone so i came here i am so sorry jake he's gone
08:53my dad's in town tonight oh that's okay we can make other plans for dinner or you just
09:14join us um yeah it's been a while since i met the parents well he lives in arizona and i don't
09:21know he's gonna be back so i don't know i just i thought it was time for him to you know be my boss
09:27you ready to go i can drive i'm gonna stay here
09:41what do you mean i gotta take care of a patient can't someone cover
09:47it's important i'll look i'll be fine do you want me to call the cemetery or i could ask ali to
09:57do it no no my sister she can't um i'll handle it um and can you not say anything to me i want to
10:09talk to myself of course is everything all right yeah that was uh a family thing nothing to do about
10:20it now we need to get dante to the cath lab what for i spoke with his son will he said his family's
10:26planning a reunion for this summer so clearly dante wants to be there for that he was so medicated he
10:31was barely even conscious let's get him in a better shape and we can find out for sure
10:35he has a triple a okay radial artery approach we just bypass it this will be his fifth surgery
10:42in six years there's no way his body can take it and he told us a few months ago that he didn't want
10:47it obviously things can change i love him too jake but you know it won't work we should just keep him
10:52alive long enough for his kids to get here and say goodbye he can die any minute one way or the other
10:56we're doctors this isn't palliative care this is his daughter oh just erica can you just hold on
11:02one minute i think that we should talk to dr really no no i'm chief resident this is my patient
11:08i'm ordering the procedure so call dr patel and you tell him it's urgent he's the head of the
11:12department yeah i know who he is just see if he's available
11:15erica i um this is dr heller i i already spoke with will not sure if he told you what's going on
11:28dad katie something wrong it's about mom she has a full day of neuro tests and it's not going
11:35well at all okay slow down tell me what's going on i don't know but she came out of the lab with a
11:39nosebleed well that can happen with all the stimulation but dr marx is excellent trust me
11:44she's in really good hands i don't want her to be alone today will you come please we're her only
11:52is watching me do this everything you hoped it would be and then some okay you're done
12:06you all right i had a memory of danny
12:14just now i i thought you took the medication no this morning during the temporal interference
12:22it was the seventh birthday and i could see the cake and the candle he he was blowing it out
12:30well if i could just get back that last year with him i mean that's one of the things that's
12:38been torturing me yeah of course
12:40amy yeah i it's just a lot right
12:53i just don't know how i'm supposed to shake off michael
13:01so this michael guy is the cmo and she was married to him and then after the divorce she
13:10started dating a different doctor at west side dr heller and she dated him twice before and after
13:17her accident and she was his boss they must have kept it hidden this woman's a mess this is how we're
13:24gonna get her i've never seen the left and right medial prefrontal cortex so reactive is that new
13:32damage from the tms treatments or her brain's trying to regenerate circuitry on its own causation
13:38is always elusive the meds should be shutting down the reactivity at this locus i need to finish full
13:44connections brain mapping to know for sure one thing we know for sure she's on the road to losing her
13:48ability to practice medicine if she keeps pushing herself the way she was at some point she might have
13:53to choose what's more important to her oh i gotta take this
13:57hi dr rose yeah thanks for getting back to me i
14:03yeah i i have been feeling a bit fatigued but my hand is steady and i just
14:10want to make sure it's okay for me to operate
14:13you rang i am looking for a reasonable doctor who will give me pain meds for the kidney stone that i
14:21very obviously have will you just prescribe me a narcotic and let me go home here's your analysis
14:27shows no red cells normal ph no crystals stones or bacteria did you repeat the test three times
14:33all negative and i tried to explain to him that it could be negative with an obstructing stone
14:38sure but then try a ct scan have you discussed that naturally you are getting the scan and you're
14:45gonna have to wait like everybody else because radiology's backed up today thanks sonia knew i could
14:50count on you oh i'm having his body flown in now from arizona i want him in the plot next to my mother
14:58no i can i can come in in the morning pick out a casket
15:06yeah
15:08thanks i'll call you back in a few
15:11his artery's open and there's a reasonable flow
15:14okay great his troponins are flat so that's good
15:17there's no muscle damage but dr patel still won't support a triple a
15:22what did you talk to him about it he's the cardiologist
15:25well that was for me to advocate it's not a question of who advocates he doesn't believe
15:30dante will survive it and you'll never find a surgeon and i'm sure he felt your opinion in there
15:34i didn't sway him jake i'm gonna ask you to step aside what is going on with you did you hear me
15:41you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem
15:44so you owned a sporting goods store i took it over from my father would have passed it on to jake but
16:01he had other plans you know i think you're the only jewish dad in america was disappointed his
16:05son became a doctor if hospitals had jerseys i may have felt differently he had plenty of years of me
16:10wearing jerseys dad what an athlete he was three sports captain of all of them nope that's not true
16:17i was captain of baseball and lacrosse that's it batted 400 senior year also a lot 398
16:22i'm rounding up yeah let him bask in your glory he would have played in college but uh then he got
16:28caught up with rachel so dad okay okay he's never been a fan of my ex why not shush i i can see the
16:36smoke coming out of his ears now that's not fair fathers always think they know best let's just
16:41leave it at that ouch
16:44that's the er ida lincoln's back in with congestive heart failure
16:54levine's on call she can handle it yeah but you know ida she's demanding and complicated it's
17:00better for everybody if i'm there but he's leaving in the morning
17:03no i know i'll come i'm sorry dad i'll be back as soon as i can
17:08you don't go stealing my girl now you hear me you'll see
17:17dante can you hear me i spoke to will he told me about your your family's plans for that reunion
17:29i feel like maybe that's what you were trying to tell me
17:33that you want me to do whatever i can to get you there
17:36if i'm right i want you to squeeze my hand
17:47okay that means surgery it's a very risky surgery but you want to live right dante
17:56his triple a is infernal it's not seven centimeters it's grown a centimeter and a half in the past six
18:05months and you believe that qualifies as operable i do yeah that's why you're not a surgeon
18:10his aorta is going to explode on the table yeah probably but if it doesn't we get him years i'm not
18:16going to be his executioner dr heller his family will sign off on this if that's what you're worried
18:19about i'm not worried okay i would think that you'd welcome the challenge then just make him
18:24comfortable give him all the time he has left
18:27do you know about danny who i don't i just heard on one of the tapes that when amy was married to
18:45the cmo they had a seven-year-old son and he died on a school field trip from heart issues
18:50so charlie she lost a kid don't get mushy on me no i'm just saying the punishment should fit the
18:56crime the crime is that our dad is dead and we are a long way from an eye for an eye
19:01mapping visual cortex now
19:05i saw that one and that one and that one you can indicate by just raising your right index finger okay
19:15like like that i saw your finger move no need to confirm
19:21you okay kiddo
19:25i'm seeing increased brain activity here are you experiencing anything
19:45no headaches seizures not at all no
19:50dr mclean hey i was hoping i could talk to you
20:14badgered everyone in the department and he came to me last not a good start to a sales pitch
20:19come on walt look he's fully recovered from his cardiac event i already looked at the scan jake
20:23a bit be cool or just gonna turn it down you can count me out i swear i swear what is it with you
20:27guys you're just worried about protecting your numbers aren't you i'd watch your mouth right
20:30yeah while while you're killing him with your cowardice
20:33you must be tired why don't you get some rest i i didn't tell you this before but one of the
20:45things i keep seeing it overtakes my memories of danny that man in the christmas market now
20:53i'm seeing him in a white coat he's a doctor at west side and he's arguing with me in my office
21:02when you were chief yeah he had a a mask dangling around his neck so it must have been during covid
21:08do you have any idea who that could be no i mean i think you had conflicts with a lot of people
21:16but these flashes are so insistent and repetitive i know my brain is trying to warn me about something
21:22i'm sorry i i just don't know
21:24during covid i was living with dad and you weren't talking much
21:29oh
21:31you guys must be starving why don't you go get something to eat i think i will lie down for a bit
21:44everything's looking good to go for the surgery we're just working on lining up the surgeon now
21:54thank you so much for everything you're doing
21:57of course you know my father speaks so highly of you it's just
22:01are you sure this is what he really wanted because this is what will has been pushing for
22:10no i completely understand but will did not push your father into this he wants to live for all of you
22:17what around town has you been accosting surgeons left and right i call it advocating for my patient
22:30and you fully dressed down mclean yeah well all any of them care about is just covering their asses
22:35i am disappointed in you dr heller
22:37you should have just come to me
22:41you'll do it
22:44images are coming up now great let me know when you see them oh my god peter i just heard are you okay
23:11um yeah i'm i'm fine it's just it's just kidney stone
23:15you poor thing is there anything i can do
23:18uh not at the moment um can can i hit you back later
23:22sure sorry uh text me okay
23:26okay
23:27sorry
23:28a little young no she went after me man
23:34sure of course peter can't help crapping where he's 14 hours a day six days a week
23:40i guess this is where everybody hooks up speaking of uh what's going on with liz
23:45huh both kidneys and ureter is clear no dilation definitely not a kidney stone
23:51i'm just saying she's not gonna wait around forever switching to bone windows
23:55and i think we've been over this so yeah i know you guys are talking about me in there
24:00and but it was a mistake okay so much pressure to perform and she may not look it but she was
24:08wild i mean like up was down forward was backwards okay can we just turn off his mic
24:13it was like being on a roller coaster with no safety bar and of course i couldn't have her
24:18coming back to work saying that i wasn't up to the task so gladly wait wait uh peter that all
24:24sounds really exciting but uh did you say it's like a marathon session oh gosh yeah it must have
24:30been like three hours i thought i was gonna pass out testicular torsion
24:35mmm explains everything and a simple exam will clinch the diagnosis one of us has to go in
24:41there and uh handle them and if you're right this is gonna hurt like nothing he's ever felt
24:47before isn't it oh yeah i'll speak of the trauma
24:50mom
24:56mimi oh my god mimi what's happening to her mimi
25:17she's still breathing get a crash car
25:21i mean i lost my wife at a young age but uh a child it is unimaginable and your marriage
25:34couldn't survive it no
25:36but i still have a daughter she's uh well she lives with her dad
25:44i screwed that up i haven't uh figured out how to fix it yet
25:50will there be anything else for you two
25:54we're practically shutting the place down we'll just take the check
25:57oh your son already took care of it on his way out
25:59oh
26:00right
26:01thanks
26:05sometimes he overdoes it
26:09i mean
26:11you gotta let your old man pick up a check when he's in town
26:14i'm sure he's just trying to thank you
26:17for everything you've done for him
26:19no no he's just always been so damn self-sufficient
26:22even at 14
26:24when his mother died
26:26never missed a school assignment
26:29got himself to all his practices
26:31took care of his younger sister
26:33i put a roof over their heads and food on the table but
26:37i didn't really do the other the part of the job the being there part
26:43and so by the time he went off to school
26:47you know sort of like that song cats in the cradle
26:52well i i know how much he loves you
26:58yeah sure but loves the minimum
27:01right end of the line
27:05you kind of hope for something more don't you
27:07you know where you are
27:14west side hospital
27:16and i am
27:17dr marx
27:19what what happened
27:20you collapsed
27:21you remember any of it
27:22i was scrolling through the physician directory
27:25looking for that doctor
27:26i
27:27i thought if if he's still at west side
27:31i'm sorry what doctor
27:32there's someone that i keep remembering a doctor
27:35who is angry at me
27:37and i just i thought if he was
27:39in the directory then i could match his face to
27:42to the image that i have in my mind
27:45i tested your phenobarb level it's at zero
27:46which means you cheat the pill
27:49so you could track this doctor
27:51no i told you that i saw my son
27:54and that's
27:56that's why it was for him
27:59but then i didn't get any more memories of him
28:01i i just keep seeing this man
28:04well the ivy has meds in it now
28:06so the seizures will dissipate for sure
28:08but i i need to figure out who he is
28:10the fact that you collapsed
28:11tells me that you could be headed for cerebral edema
28:13hemorrhages or even a stroke
28:16if you continue with this non-compliance
28:18are you hearing me
28:19mom
28:20yes
28:23yes i understand
28:25the loading dose will sustain you for the rest of the day
28:27going forward
28:28you need to take an oral dose daily
28:30i'll be checking your levels to make sure you stay on track
28:33i will take it i swear
28:35enough is enough kiddo
28:44i know
28:51i went too far
28:53no it's not too far mom
28:54it's in the wrong direction
28:55you're looking backwards when you need to move forward
28:59i promise i'll let it go
29:05i know you can hear me
29:09i just want to thank you for being the best dad
29:12that a kid could ever want
29:14i'm here too dad
29:16with all of your grandkids
29:18and will's on his way from st louis
29:22his pp's dropping
29:26we gotta get him to the or now
29:28well will isn't here yet
29:29i'm really sorry
29:29we just can't wait any longer
29:31daddy we love you
29:33daddy we love you so much pops
29:34wait wait
29:35do you want to write something
29:37get some paper
29:39we need paper and a pen
29:40here
29:41thank you
29:42for will
29:55okay
29:58okay
30:12dr ridley's one of the best surgeons in the country
30:23if this was my father
30:25this is who i'd want in there
30:26i'll come out and give you an update
30:28as soon as i know anything
30:29sorry i'm late
30:30flight got delayed
30:30can i see dad now
30:32we waited as long as we could
30:33but he just went under
30:34under what
30:36he's anesthetized
30:37surgery started
30:39dad knew you were coming will
30:49he wrote this for you
30:52who knew how much you loved him will
30:58he knew
30:59the urologist will take you to the or soon to untwist you then you should be fine
31:06don't give me that pollyanna crap
31:08if the twist crimps off the artery
31:10it's all over
31:11dead testicle
31:13no sperm
31:14no kids
31:15kids
31:16why not
31:18don't seem the type
31:20who the hell's the type
31:21every man's got to be a dad
31:23optimal oxygenation
31:26scalpel
31:31hemodynamically stable
31:43hemodynamically stable
31:43open
31:54ready
31:57moment of truth
32:01yep
32:03coolie clamp
32:09start the clock
32:19i think even if he was down to his last dollar he wouldn't want you picking up the check
32:46i'm just trying to show my appreciation for everything he's done for me
32:50you should tell him that
32:51i think he knows
32:53he doesn't jake
32:56he kind of thinks he failed you
32:59what
33:01just that he wasn't around enough
33:03when you were a kid
33:05and
33:06he really misses you
33:09okay well he's the one that moved to arizona
33:11yeah minnesota's cold
33:13true
33:14he wants to spend more time with you
33:17talk more
33:19he mentioned that song
33:24cats in the cradle
33:25when are you coming home son
33:29i don't know when
33:31we'll get together then dad
33:34so just don't wait for
33:38then
33:39jake
33:40please tell me i've given this
33:56the surgery went well
33:57it was extremely complicated his aorta it was like tissue paper but dr ridley stitched together masterfully
34:05incredible
34:06can i see him now
34:07he hasn't woken up yet
34:09but but he will right
34:12so the operation required more anesthesia than we had planned so he is slow to regain consciousness and
34:18we're not going to know for sure that he's out of the woods until he does wake up
34:22so he he might not wake up at all
34:25that's correct
34:26okay when will we know
34:28two to three hours
34:30well casanova surgery was a success
34:37yep looks like some unlucky kid will be calling you daddy someday
34:41peter jr baby let's go
34:44peter thank god i was so worried
34:47oh oh okay okay
34:49uh okay then we'll leave you two alone
34:52is it me or was that just too much fun
35:01no no no no that that was as good as it gets
35:04hey
35:05if the hospital gossip is true i want to hear everything
35:10yeah it doesn't get much better than that but i think i'm still bound by hipaa
35:15oh damn
35:16listen i've been wanting to talk to you
35:20here i am
35:21i like you liz
35:23you are beautiful
35:25smart and you seem like the kind of woman any guy in his right mind would want to go out with
35:30just not you
35:33let's just say a workplace relationship can really twist things up
35:39and i would hate for things to get weird between us
35:44so
35:45friends
35:47yeah friends
35:51of course
35:52cool
35:54hey
36:01how's he doing
36:03um well
36:04no change since he wore
36:05there's still time
36:08fingers and toes crossed
36:11well
36:12whatever happens
36:13whether he makes it or not
36:14thank you
36:15you were a rock star in there
36:17and you gave him a shot
36:19who is he to you
36:21a father
36:22those kids one more time with him
36:27i'm still here
36:31you're still here
36:36you're still here
36:50and you're gonna be here for a while now
36:53reunion
36:55hey
37:01i love you pops
37:12i love you so much
37:16so
37:26you pulled it off
37:27yeah well
37:29i think i had some help from the man upstairs on this one
37:31the man
37:32look um
37:36about earlier
37:38i'm sorry
37:38i think this just got a little personal
37:40no
37:41but if there is something going on
37:44you know i'm here
37:44right
37:45yeah
37:46yeah
37:46of course
37:47thank you
37:49you got to hear this
37:59got something good
38:01got something good
38:15you realize
38:20you realize we can blow up all of her relationships with this
38:23she barely touched her food
38:34i think this is all too much for her
38:38that's how this day started
38:41she came to me because she was overwhelmed
38:44she shouldn't have to worry about taking care of her mother
38:47especially not after everything she's been through
38:50yeah she's had to grow up fast
38:52but
38:53sometimes she thinks she can handle too much
38:56maybe she needs to go home with you
39:01just
39:02for a bit
39:03but the last thing i want is for her to feel like i'm pushing her away
39:09she's 18
39:10and pretty damn smart
39:12why don't we just
39:14talk to her about it honestly
39:16and
39:16let her decide
39:17yeah that'd be great
39:20thank you michael
39:24i'll go get her
39:26so
39:36it means they're gone and we won't be able to see them again
39:39not ever
39:40no not ever but
39:43we will try and keep them in our hearts
39:46that we can do for as long as we live
39:48and then it's kind of like they're still here with us
39:51but they're just inside of us
39:53another chance to say goodbye
39:59say goodbye
40:03give me one more day
40:09another chance to say goodbye
40:14hello
40:18hey
40:19it's uh jake
40:21i know
40:24caller id
40:25oh yeah um
40:27i heard you had a rough day today
40:32intense
40:33but i'm okay
40:35i saw katie and michael there with you
40:37yeah katie kind of dragged him into it
40:40she was worried
40:42and then i had some memories of danny
40:46wow
40:47wow was it was that the
40:48was that the first time
40:50yeah
40:50well i can see why you'd want to chase those
40:54yeah the whole thing kind of freaked katie out
40:56so she went back to michael's for a bit
40:58i'm sorry
41:00that must be really tough
41:02are you okay
41:05you sound
41:05i don't know
41:07um
41:12my dad died
41:15this morning
41:16oh
41:17i'm so sorry jake
41:20yeah
41:21yeah it was a uh
41:22stroke
41:23he wasn't even sick
41:25i don't suppose i ever met him
41:27uh
41:28he did
41:29yeah
41:30yeah once
41:31oh
41:32i wish i could remember that
41:34we uh
41:37we all went out to dinner one time
41:39and i guess he
41:40kind of opened up to you
41:42because you told me there were
41:43some things i needed to tell him
41:45and did you
41:46uh no
41:48nope
41:50um
41:51and that was the last time i saw him
41:53i just
41:55i always thought i had more time you know
41:57yeah we always do
41:59till we don't
42:02i really missed you today
42:11i miss you
42:15every day
42:17do you think you could be there
42:21at that uh
42:22funeral
42:24of course
42:26you know even though he only met you that one time
42:28my daddy
42:29he really loved you
42:31well
42:33if he's anything like his son
42:35i'm sure
42:36i loved him
42:38i'm sorry
42:39we never missed you
42:41did
42:41i love him
42:43i need to be there
42:45oh
42:47i don't miss any one time
42:48should i watch him
42:49i love you
42:50i love you
42:51i hate you
42:53i love you
42:53okay
42:54i love you
42:54i love you
42:55and i love you
42:56i love you
42:57i love you
42:59and i am
43:00i love you
43:01and i love you
43:02and i love you
43:03i love you
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