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00:00Now, I see three of you. Do we know the father, or is this some Mamma Mia nonsense?

00:06I'm the father.

00:08Okay, Dad, how far apart are the contractions?

00:11No idea. Ask him.

00:14Twelve minutes.

00:15Twelve minutes? Why are you here?

00:17Aren't we supposed to get here an hour and a half early?

00:20This is a hospital, not the airport.

00:23I'm sorry. It's our first time.

00:25It's okay. This little one will be here before you know it.

00:29Do we know what we're having?

00:31No, we're keeping it a surprise.

00:32Old school. Nice.

00:35Not that old school. He knows.

00:38You see, I was at the doctor's office. The folder was right there.

00:43So I took a peek.

00:45And talking like this doesn't make it less creepy.

00:50Sweetheart, go home. Come back when the contractions are five minutes apart for an hour.

00:55I'm sorry, that's ambiguous.

00:56Is it five minutes apart starting at the top of the hour or five minutes apart starting with the first contraction?

01:01So essentially, like 65 minutes.

01:06I'm just throwing this out there, but home births are very popular these days.