00:00Pour la histoire, je dois commencer par dire que je suis lactose intolerant.
00:07Et ici la tragédie qui est ma vie.
00:10Ice-cream et cheese sont mes deux choses préférées.
00:15Je suis venu à un date avec cette fille.
00:17J'ai pris elle à un restaurant tasting menu.
00:20Le waiter prend un carton.
00:22Il y a un doming sur le dessus.
00:24Et il prend ça.
00:26Et il y a tous ces cheeses.
00:28Camembert, brees et whatnot.
00:32Le plus dangereux cheeses of them all.
00:36If I eat lactose, I will shit myself.
00:41Vomage me.
00:43Can I fucking cane that cunt, mate?
00:45I fucking ate all that.
00:46Lactose is now coursing through my veins.
00:50I am on borrowed time.
00:53And I fucking fishtail out of the car park
00:56and I'm whizzing through traffic.
00:57He goes, we have to stop at the pharmacy.
00:59I'm doing the life to shit myself box step.
01:01Come on!
01:02Pick a fucking cream.
01:03Pick a cream.
01:04Come on!
01:05They're all good.
01:06All these creams are good.
01:07I'm trying to breathe through it.
01:08I'm gonna shit myself!
01:10I'm gonna shit myself!
01:13So I have to make a decision.
01:15My house is five minutes away.
01:17No time to fight!
01:18Her house is three minutes away.
01:20This is not a drought!
01:21Ah!
01:22Ah!
01:23Ah!
01:24Ah!
01:25Ah!
01:26Ah!
01:27Now!
01:28Don't worry about that!
01:30Walk it down!
01:32Oh!
01:35Ma!
01:36Theo!
01:37Merci.
