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My Ex's Best Friends
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Transcript
00:00We were 17. We're sneaking off to a cabin this weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
00:05Chloe!
00:06Have you guys seen Kurt? Kurt, baby? Kurt, baby?
00:10I can't believe this.
00:12I didn't know you were going to be here tonight.
00:14Happy anniversary.
00:16We rented the cabin for the weekend, so we're here to bring you up there.
00:20You know, guys, there's one thing you didn't think about when you kidnapped me.
00:23There's only one bed in this cabin.
00:26This is an all-out war for Chloe's heart. Game on.
00:28Do you really think about me like that?
00:30Chloe, you are all I think about.
00:32What's one of the ways you guys are planning to spoil me this weekend?
00:35We would do anything for you.
00:38Me?
00:39And I swear to you, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you laugh like that.
00:43I want you to choose me.
00:45Chloe, if you're choosing him over me, I need to know right now, okay? I can't stand it.
00:49Jack, you need to relax.
00:50Relax?
00:51The woman I love is slipping through my fingers!
00:54You think you're the only one that loves her?
00:55You love me?
00:57Looks like we're going to be here a little longer than two nights if it keeps coming down like that.
01:02What was that?
01:03The storm knocked all the power out.
01:05He too.
01:06You are worth fighting for.
01:08Even if it means fighting with my best friend in the whole world.
01:12This weekend has meant everything to me.
01:14Let's make a deal then, baby girl.
01:16For one more night, you don't have to choose.
01:18Will you be here in the morning?
01:23Just as the sun is rising.
01:26How many people can say they're half of the perfect couple?
01:30Feels so good when you're next to me.
01:32Kurt and I fell in love when we were 17.
01:36He was the captain of the soccer team, and I never thought he would notice me.
01:41But suddenly, we're soulmates.
01:47We came to college together, where he met Jack on the soccer team and Emmett in business classes.
01:56But even with these two in his life, he always made time to surprise me.
02:00And I got two new guy friends in my life as a bonus.
02:04Over-protective, sure, but always looking out for my best interests.
02:10It's been five years since our first kiss.
02:13We're sneaking off to a cabin this weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
02:17And I'm pretty sure this is it.
02:21He's going to propose we get married after graduation.
02:24Because you are my everything
02:27Drinks out, lights out
02:37I like the small talk, but it's over now
02:40Light it up, give me some
02:42I like the way you tease me with your soft lips
02:46Boy, please, you're the one I care for
02:49Chloe, that's the woman I wanted to see.
02:51Chloe, hey beautiful
02:55Hey
02:55Let me go get you a drink
02:56You shouldn't have to push your way through a crowd
02:58Whoa, watch where the fuck you're going, buddy
03:02You almost ran right into her
03:03These people are animals, huh?
03:05Okay, you look stunning
03:07Thank you
03:08So, have you guys seen her?
03:14I haven't, no, but
03:16Didn't know you were going to make an appearance
03:17Yeah, I thought you had that huge midterm
03:19You had to finish for British land
03:20Yeah, I actually finished it early
03:23Plus, Kurt surprised me with a bottle of champagne and cookies at my doorstep
03:27I thought maybe it was my turn to surprise him back
03:30Hmm, well we haven't seen him in a hot minute
03:33But knowing Kurt, he's probably hiding in some dark corners somewhere
03:36Okay, I'll do a lap
03:38Thanks, guys
03:39Kurt, baby
03:45Kurt, baby
03:48You always did like surprises
04:02Chloe
04:03I can't believe this
04:06I have to go
04:08Chloe, wait
04:09I didn't know you were going to be here tonight
04:20Oh, so that makes it okay
04:21Well, you don't need to be such a fucking bitch about it
04:24I'm the bitch?
04:25After catching you ready to fuck some other girl?
04:28What, is this some sort of fucking shock to you?
04:30I didn't want you to follow me to college like some dumb dog I can't get rid of, okay?
04:35I never asked for any of this in the first place
04:36You can't fucking talk to her like that
04:38What? Off
04:39Happy anniversary
04:40Whoa, sweetheart, hey, hey, what's wrong?
04:46What's going on?
04:47It's Kurt
04:47I have to go
04:49Chloe
04:51How can you fucking cheat on Chloe like that, huh?
04:56What the fuck are you doing?
04:57Get off
04:58Kurt
04:58You cheated on Chloe?
05:00You son of a bitch
05:01Chloe, you've got visitors
05:11Good news, it's not Kurt
05:12Knock, knock
05:14Hey, beautiful
05:15Jack?
05:18Emmett?
05:19What are you?
05:20We decided what you need most right now
05:22Is to be kidnapped
05:24I know you rented the cabin for the weekend
05:27So we're here to bring you up there
05:28You deserve to get your vacation
05:30But you guys are his best friends
05:32You really think we want to still be friends with him after what he did to you?
05:36Not a chance, sweetheart
05:37We hate seeing you like this
05:39It's breaking our hearts
05:40I don't know, guys
05:41That's very sweet of you
05:43But I'm just not really in a vacation mood
05:45Oh, come on, Chloe
05:47We'll go on some hikes
05:48We'll play some games
05:49We'll cook
05:49We'll get drunk
05:51And most importantly
05:52We'll get your mind off this shit show
05:54You guys
05:57I thought I was going to marry him
06:00I just had my heart shattered
06:02Well, let me help you mend it
06:06And when Emmett inevitably doesn't
06:09I will be there to actually put you back together
06:12The point is
06:14We're not taking no for an answer
06:15Yeah
06:17We will bring you out to the car
06:19Holding you if we have to
06:20Come on, you're coming with us
06:22The only choice you have in the matter
06:24Is what clothes you get to bring
06:25Personally, I think you look great in red
06:27Emmett's an idiot
06:29I know you look amazing in everything
06:31So, what do you say?
06:33Want to splash some water in your face
06:35And have the best weekend of your life with me?
06:37I guess Jack will be there, too
06:39Ha ha, very funny
06:40So, are we carrying you out of here?
06:43Or are you going to walk out of here yourself, baby girl?
06:49Whenever I'm in love
06:51Yeah, I'm all in it
06:52I haven't felt this way in a hot minute
06:54Everyone before you is now with it
06:57I like the way you move
06:58Yeah, you're real different
06:59I just want to tell you what's on my mind
07:02The other ones are for you
07:04Setting you down now, beautiful?
07:08I said I could walk
07:10And I said I would take every opportunity
07:12To have you in my arms
07:13Hey, this place is nice
07:15I thought Kurt was going to propose to me here
07:19I figured we'd have the pictures for the rest of our lives
07:22Sorry
07:25Sorry, I'm sorry
07:27Hey
07:27It's okay, sweetheart
07:29You had a really shitty week
07:30I think I might have something that will help with that
07:34How about we pop this bad boy open and cheers to a lovely weekend
07:39I do love champagne
07:41I know you do
07:42Really?
07:43Did I tell you that?
07:44I think just once, but I remembered
07:47Besides, I gotta be honest
07:50I snagged this one from your own kitchen
07:52How did you know she even had it?
07:53Well, because
07:58I'm actually the one that left it for you
08:00I knew that you were finishing up your midterms
08:03I didn't want to surprise you
08:06It was
08:06It was me
08:07It wasn't Kurt
08:08If we're being honest here
08:09Those peanut butter cookies
08:12Well, for me
08:13I made them for you one time
08:15And you said that they were the best cookies you've ever had
08:17You guys did that for me?
08:21Why?
08:22Well, I mean, I can't speak for Jack
08:24But I knew that Kurt would forget how much that paper meant to you
08:27And I know you love surprises
08:30And didn't want Chloe to be disappointed
08:32Making cookies is a little more time consuming than buying champagne
08:36Okay, shut up
08:37I mean, we both had the same thought
08:38But if you want to tell us which one of the presents was better
08:42Be open to that too, baby girl
08:44I can't pick
08:47They were both so thoughtful
08:48I can't believe you guys would do something like that for me
08:52When my own boyfriend didn't even remember
08:54Well, hey
08:54He's not your boyfriend anymore
08:57Yeah
08:58We are both aware
08:59That you are very
09:01Very single
09:02You know, guys
09:05There's one thing you didn't think about when you kidnapped me
09:07Trust us
09:08We thought of everything
09:09If you had thought of everything
09:11Then you would have thought about the fact that there's only one bed in this cabin
09:14When I was planning a romantic getaway for Kurt
09:17I didn't plan for guest star appearances
09:19Oh, believe me
09:20I thought about that
09:22Oh, did you?
09:23Mm-hmm
09:23I thought about you and me sharing that bed
09:26Oh, that couch is more jack-sized than me, bro
09:29Chloe and I should be sleeping together
09:31How about I just sleep on the couch?
09:33Absolutely not
09:34No, this weekend is about spoiling you
09:37That doesn't kick off with you having to sleep on a lumpy-ass couch
09:39All right, then, it's settled
09:41You and I will snuggle up in that bed
09:43What the hell you are?
09:45You don't get to just call dibs like that
09:46How about a compromise?
09:48How in the world are we supposed to share the sexiest woman in the cabin?
09:52I'm the only woman in this cabin
09:53Let's just settle on taking turns
09:56That way each of you only get one night on the couch
09:58The couch isn't what I'm worried about
10:00It's this guy making a move on here is what I'm worried about
10:03Come on, bro, like, you're not gonna be slobbering all over her
10:06Guys, guys, guys
10:07One night keeps it fair and cuddly for everyone
10:10Only problem, though, is
10:13Who gets the first night?
10:17I think I have a way we can compute for that
10:19Yeah, okay, oh!
10:26Rules of the game are
10:28We all ask each other questions
10:29If you don't want to answer a question
10:32Take a drink
10:33If you drink
10:35You lose the game
10:37Hey, game on, bro
10:39All right, Emmett
10:40What is the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to you?
10:45Oh, I, uh
10:46I split my pants
10:48Right down the ass
10:50In the middle of a PowerPoint presentation
10:53Oh, my God
10:53Yeah, you'll have to do better than that
10:56Catching Kurt cheating on me
10:57God, that's a really depressing answer
11:00Okay, it's my turn
11:02Um, I need to pick me up
11:03After reliving that in my head
11:05Um, what's one of the ways
11:08You guys are planning to spoil me this weekend?
11:10Well, I will be giving you
11:12The best massage of your entire life
11:14And I will run you the best bubble bath
11:16You've ever had
11:17Not to mention
11:18I'll be cooking for you
11:20I don't think I didn't see
11:22The little hot tub out back
11:23We will be spending lots of time in there
11:25Damn, I guess I lost
11:29Don't worry, sweetheart
11:32The real winner
11:33Is the guy that gets to end up in bed with you first
11:35Which is gonna be me
11:36Shut up and ask your question
11:38All right
11:40Uh, Jack
11:42Would you be willing to share
11:45Your internet search history with us?
11:46Ha, fuck you
11:53I win
11:54Asking a man to share his browser history
11:56Is blatant cheating
11:57Sorry, Jack
11:58I'm with Emmett on this one
11:59Emmett gets the first night
12:00Yeah
12:01Fine
12:02Then I guess I will just get to spoil Chloe first then
12:05Come on over, Chloe
12:07Let's kick this weekend off with a little massage
12:10This isn't over
12:15Come on
12:17That really was the best back rub I've ever had
12:22You like that?
12:24Wait till you try my spicy veggie chili
12:26Ooh, chili's my favorite
12:28Oh, I know
12:29Are you gonna come and help me with this?
12:31Absolutely
12:31Anything to get dinner on the table faster
12:34Hold on
12:37You gotta be in uniform to be in my kitchen
12:45Kim?
12:46Mm-hmm
12:52Stop
12:52You're distracting me from cutting
12:54Maybe
12:55I can't help myself
12:57I need some music
13:00Love this song
13:06It always makes me want to dance
13:07Well, my lady
13:09Let me oblige you
13:10Oh
13:11Oh
13:11Okay
13:20Okay
13:20All right
13:21May I?
13:26Of course
13:27Thank you guys
13:43Of course
13:44For what?
13:46For trying to cheer me up
13:47Oh
13:48Is it working?
13:51I hope so
13:51I really do
13:53Well
13:54We're just getting started
13:56You don't miss Kurt
14:02You don't miss Kurt
14:04You don't miss Kurt
14:06It'll get better
14:10It will
14:12Keep dreaming, bro
14:22I get the first night in bed with her
14:24She won't even know you exist
14:25By tomorrow morning
14:26Trust me
14:27Bro, it's one night
14:28All right
14:29We still have the whole
14:29Whole weekend ahead of us
14:33If you really think
14:34I'd give up on a chance
14:35With Chloe that easily
14:36Bro, you don't know me at all
14:37Back the fuck off
14:39I'm not giving up on her
14:40Just because you want her to
14:41Well, at least that's one thing
14:42We agree on
14:43She's worth fighting for
14:44She always has been
14:46Can't believe a dumbass
14:49Like Kurt landed a woman like that
14:51At least I could stand
14:52Watching them together
14:53When I thought he was treating her right
14:54Fuck
14:54She used to be so happy
14:56We used to love that guy
14:57Like a brother
14:58Yeah
14:58Guess those days are over with, huh?
15:01After seeing him make her cry
15:02I've never been so done
15:04With anyone in my entire life
15:05Can you imagine
15:06Landing a woman
15:07That beautiful
15:08That intelligent
15:09And you just
15:10Poof
15:11Throw it all away
15:13Yeah, I'll never understand that
15:14If I had a girlfriend like Chloe
15:16I'd never let her go
15:18If you had a girlfriend like Chloe
15:19I'd hope you let her go
15:20So I could still plan
15:21And steal her for myself
15:22Well, now that I got a chance
15:23I'm taking it
15:24Buddy
15:26So am I
15:27I didn't mean to eavesdrop
15:42But I couldn't help it over here
15:45I don't mind that you know
15:47I'm glad we laid it out in the line
15:50It's a way easier for you to choose me
15:52At least you know now
15:53I'm not going to be giving up on you
15:54Yeah, like I'm just going to roll over
15:56And give you my blessing
15:56You're a soft little bitch business major
15:59What are you going to do to protect her?
16:00What the hell are you going to have to protect her from, huh?
16:03All ten fans that come to your soccer games?
16:05At least I'm not a coward little bitch boy
16:07That's scared to tell his daddy
16:08How he really feels
16:09Yeah, well you run through girls like they're disposable
16:11Why should Chloe think you'd be any different with her, huh?
16:14That's enough
16:14Look
16:16We're only supposed to be here for two nights
16:18Why don't we just call it?
16:20What's that?
16:21Maybe we should just go home
16:23And take a breather
16:24You guys are best friends
16:26I don't know if that's going to be possible, baby girl
16:30He's really coming down out there
16:34Okay, I know it's pouring
16:36But if we leave now
16:37No, he's right
16:38About being a better match for Chloe?
16:40Told you so
16:40Ha, funny, jackass
16:43No, he's right, Chloe
16:44The roads are going to be covered with mud right now
16:46But SUV can't handle that
16:47Looks like we're going to be here a little longer than two nights
16:51If it keeps coming down like that
16:52How much longer?
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