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I don't even have time to explain why I don't have time to explain.
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00:00John Carmack, one of the founders of id Software, famously stated around the time of Doom's release
00:05that according to him, story in a game is like story in a porn movie.
00:10It's expected to be there, but it's not that important.
00:13Though that quote has aged very well,
00:17excellent video game experiences which feature either half-baked or totally neglected narratives.
00:23But incompetent storytelling really becomes a problem when the plot was bad to begin with.
00:27Though they certainly redeem themselves in other ways, many great games have straight-up awful plots.
00:33I'm Jess from WhatCulture and here are 10 great video games with terrible storylines.
00:39Number 10. Wolfenstein II The New Colossus, 2017
00:43Despite a few shortcomings, Beth... 2017.
00:46Despite a few shortcomings, Bethesda's revival of id's famous Wolfenstein franchise has been relatively well-received.
00:52Though the first game was, ironically, pretty narrative-heavy for a game bearing the Wolfenstein name,
00:58it was nonetheless one of the most well-remembered games of 2014.
01:02Its sequel, however, didn't quite get that same treatment.
01:05The series' alt-history storyline drastically jumped the shark.
01:09Plus, for what it's worth, the overall Steam reviews for Wolfenstein II The New Colossus are mixed.
01:15While the original series' reboot was a satisfying tale of perseverance and revenge,
01:19the new game's plot is all over the place.
01:22After surviving a decapitation at the hands of the nefarious Frau Engel, a ludicrous plot in and of itself,
01:29franchise protagonist William Blazkowicz embarks on a long-winded tour of American cities,
01:34which eventually culminates in a trip to the planet Venus.
01:38Yes, seriously, Venus, that Venus.
01:412014's Wolfenstein game did see players touring a secret Nazi moon base,
01:45but that felt entirely practical when compared to some of the shenanigans which occur in the sequel.
01:50This is by no means an indictment of Bethesda or Machine Games,
01:54but if this is to become a trilogy, it'd be nice to tone things down just a notch.
02:009. Crysis, 2007
02:02Crysis, a sci-fi military FPS, released in 2007 and set in the far-off year of 2020,
02:09was famous for its insanely demanding specs on PC back in the day.
02:14While Crytek's breakout title could run on just about anything today,
02:18the phrase,
02:19but can it run Crysis, is still a huge meme in certain circles.
02:23While everyone remembers this game for its stunning visuals and inventive gameplay mechanics,
02:28few claim to ever have understood or cared all that much about the story.
02:32Crysis' narrative elements were by far its weakest feature,
02:35and the game felt more like a glitzy tech demo than anything else.
02:39The story revolves around the North Korean invasion of an island not far from the Philippines
02:43on which a US research team seems to have made some impactful discoveries.
02:49A part of a covert team sent in to extract these scientists,
02:52things quickly spiral out of control as, well, alien stuff happens.
02:57The introduction of the Ceph, an alien race bent on the destruction of humanity,
03:01is pretty jarring in the original Crysis.
03:03The game goes from a fairly standard stealth action experience
03:07to war of the world's wannabe at the drop of a hat.
03:10And it's weird.
03:12Number 8. Call of Duty Ghosts, 2013
03:15The original Call of Duty titles focused on exploring
03:18just about every conceivable narrative angle of the Second World War.
03:22Yet when the series made the transition to modern warfare in the 2007 release of the same name,
03:28it was still more or less grounded in the geopolitical realities of the time.
03:32The same can absolutely not be said about 2013's Call of Duty Ghosts.
03:37Releasing during a time in which popular opinion was turning against the repetitive,
03:41over-the-top nature of the COD campaigns,
03:44Ghosts explored an absolutely ill-conceived and ridiculous plot thread.
03:48In the bleak distant future of 2017, all South American countries band together to form the
03:54Federation of the United Americas.
03:56They then capture a US orbital bombardment satellite and use it to destroy San Diego.
04:02Most of the campaign takes place 10 years later and chronicles the end of a decade-long conflict
04:07which culminates in the destruction of the Federation, along with presumably most of South America.
04:12The COD campaigns are known for being big, loud and dumb, and it doesn't get much bigger, louder or dumber than this.
04:19Number 7. Far Cry 5 2018
04:22In the fifth entry in the long-running Far Cry series, the end is nigh as cult leader
04:27and apparent doomsday prepper Joseph Seed lays claim to the fictional Hope County, Montana.
04:33Pragmatic villains and unbelievable plots are staples of the Far Cry series,
04:37but this takes things a step further.
04:39Joseph Seed seems convinced that the end of the world will soon be upon his congregation,
04:44yet it's difficult for the player to get a beat on anything occurring outside of Hope County.
04:49As the game comes to a close, the player is given a choice to either walk away from or resist the Eden's Gate cult.
04:56Should he or she walk away, they seem to escape with the intent of returning with reinforcements,
05:01until Seed appears to hypnotize them, lapsing the character into servitude to the cult.
05:06On the other hand, should the player choose to resist, they're essentially forced to fight their squadmates
05:12until an out-of-left-field nuclear detonation brings the game to an end.
05:16It's definitely not the most subtle way to round out the plot,
05:19and many Far Cry fans have since voiced their frustrations over this lackluster ending.
05:24New Dawn was a whole thing, though.
05:26Number 6. The Evil Within 2014
05:28Helmed by Resident Evil creator Shinji Mikami,
05:32The Evil Within was a 2014 survival horror title that felt a bit too much like a retread of Resi 4
05:38in the minds of some players.
05:40Yet while Resi 4 was campy and hilarious in places,
05:43The Evil Within was stone-cold serious, and it suffered as a result.
05:47The plot made little to no sense,
05:49and even when all the cards were laid on the table near the end of the game,
05:53the overarching narrative still came across as little more than a reason
05:57to chain a bunch of spooky environments together.
05:59Cerebral and involved, The Evil Within and its sequel may have benefited from a more straightforward plot.
06:06Instead, players were treated to the story of an umbrella-like organization
06:09intent on developing a biochemical hyper-reality,
06:13which they could use to rule the world
06:15before the man they placed in charge of it betrays them and corrupts everything.
06:18The concept is already hard to grasp,
06:20and it's made even more difficult by the fact that almost nothing is ever told directly to the player.
06:26Most who saw this game through to the end were probably still left scratching their heads as the credits rolled.
06:32Number 5.
06:32Uncharted Drake's Fortune, 2007.
06:35Developed by notorious Sony Cohort's Naughty Dog and released in 2007,
06:40Uncharted was a system-selling visual masterpiece meant to contend with Microsoft's rival Halo franchise.
06:47Though the PlayStation 3 would go on to lose that generation's console war by most accounts,
06:52the Uncharted franchise stood as something Sony fans could rub in the faces of their Xbox-owning counterparts.
06:58While the first Uncharted title is, by and large, a great game,
07:02the plot leaves something to be desired.
07:05It feels like what might have happened if Steven Spielberg had to film the original Indiana Jones trilogy
07:10on a shoestring budget, complete with hokey plot points and ridiculous cursed idol MacGuffins.
07:16Things really take a turn for the worse in the third act, when Nathan Drake is handed an MP40
07:21and tasked with gunning down mutated Nazi zombies.
07:26Nobody seems to remember how off the rails the first Uncharted game's plot was,
07:30and that's probably for the best.
07:32Subsequent entries in Naughty Dog's famous action-platforming series would fare much better
07:36from a narrative perspective, and we're all better off turning a blind eye to that weird
07:40pseudo-survival horror segment.
07:42Number 4, Fallout 4, 2015.
07:46In 2011, Obsidian Entertainment, now a subsidiary of Microsoft,
07:50proved that Bethesda wasn't the only studio out there capable of making a satisfying FPS Fallout title.
07:56With the ball in their court, what did Bethesda do to prove that they still had a handle on the franchise?
08:02By gutting most of the series' RPG mechanics and simplifying the story, of course.
08:06Fallout 4 is far from a bad game, but it doesn't quite live up to the legacy of the franchise as a whole.
08:12Particularly from a narrative standpoint.
08:15While Fallout New Vegas had tons of possible endgame scenarios and was so story-rich that it could have given George RR Martin a run for his money,
08:23Fallout 4 was very by the numbers and featured a mere four endings,
08:27each focusing on one of the title's four main factions.
08:31What's more, there weren't quite as many interesting side quests or unique story beats to be found.
08:36Sure, players could help the super mutant strong find the milk of human kindness,
08:40or help Preston Garvey defend yet another settlement,
08:43but it all felt slightly soulless when compared to older entries.
08:47Number 3, Doom, 1993.
08:50As previously mentioned, 1993's seminal first-person shooter, Doom, was severely anemic in terms of narrative.
08:58At that time, video games weren't really considered to be an appropriate medium for storytelling,
09:02thanks to their relatively rudimentary natures.
09:05And that stigma would prevail until titles like Final Fantasy VII and the original Fallout
09:10would begin to sway opinions half a decade later.
09:13Yet, fully fledged or not, Doom's plot is pretty stupid.
09:16Something about demons from hell invading a Martian base?
09:20Maybe throw in an evil megacorporation for good effect?
09:23The game's mission briefings may as well just say,
09:25shoot stuff!
09:26It would convey just about as much meaning.
09:28As a matter of fact, Doom doesn't even care about its plot.
09:31In 2016's Bethesda-backed series reboot,
09:34the player character is literally only there to kill things,
09:37and actively ignores even the most basic plot points.
09:40Much like the player, he's only there for the mayhem.
09:43This may be some sort of satirical Freudian parallel on id's part,
09:47but we're too busy getting neck deep in demon guts to care.
09:50This self-aware lack of narrative may hinder the series in future,
09:53but as of right now, giving demons seems to be the only impetus anybody needs.
09:58Number 2.
09:59Pokemon Ruby Slash Sapphire
10:01The narrative in Game Freak's handheld Pokemon titles
10:05has more or less remained the same for the past two decades.
10:08Capture and train Pokemon, thwart rivals,
10:11and challenge the Elite Four to become the very best there ever was.
10:14Such is the case with Generation 3's Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire,
10:18taking place in the region of Hoenn.
10:20The player begins their adventure in the town of Little Root
10:23and contests their rival May in a quest to become the greatest trainer around.
10:27Throughout their escapades,
10:29the player will come across some wannabe ne'er-do-wells
10:31associated with either Team Magma or Team Aqua,
10:35depending on the specific version of the game.
10:37Much like Team Rocket from the previous games,
10:39these guys are brewing some evil scheme which may put the world in peril.
10:43In this case, Team Magma wants to harness the powers
10:46of the legendary Pokemon Grudon so they can...
10:49expand the land.
10:50Likewise, Team Aqua wants to capture Keogre
10:53so they can increase the amount of water in the region.
10:55A terrifying ambition if there ever was one.
10:58These guys are also wanted for the crimes of jaywalking and removing mattress tags.
11:03Number 1.
11:04Destiny 2014
11:06Love it or hate it, Bungie's 2014 release Destiny
11:09has left its mark on the modern-day video game market.
11:12Among the first to kick off the current MMO light craze,
11:16Destiny promised to pit players alongside and against each other
11:19as they travelled the solar system in an epic quest to destroy the Vex.
11:23It was one of the most hyped-up releases of the past 10 decades
11:27and, according to many PlayStation fans,
11:30it failed to deliver, from a story perspective at least.
11:33It was too light on content and the story really didn't make a whole lot of sense.
11:37Packed with difficult-to-surmise plot elements
11:40and crammed with so many characters and factions with similar names
11:43that it was a challenge to tell them apart,
11:45Bungie sincerely failed to present a cohesive narrative.
11:49The chariotop the failure Sunday was actor Peter Dinklage's infamously flat vocal delivery.
11:55The voice behind the player's ever-present ghost companion,
11:58he was so bad, or had conflicts,
12:00that the studio later had industry legend Nolan North redo all of the lines.
12:05Unfortunately, the damage was already done,
12:08and Dinklebot's asinine voice clips will forever remain a meme in the Destiny community.
12:13That wizard came from the moon.
12:15That's the end of our list,
12:16but let me know down in that comment section
12:18if you can think of any other great video games with terrible storylines.
12:23As always, I've been Jess from WhatCulture,
12:25thank you so much for hanging out with me.
12:27If you like, you can come say hi to me on my Twitter account
12:30where I'm at JessMcDonnell,
12:31but make sure you stay tuned to us here for plenty more great gaming content.
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