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  • 2 days ago
Memorably unmemorable clashes that put smiles on faces but forgot all about the heels...
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00:00I, Simon Miller, love nonsense. I actually have a t-shirt that I wear sometimes that says
00:05goofy wrestling for life, and this ain't no saying, I totally mean it. WWE has always
00:10embraced such things too, even when they don't mean to, because sometimes they put on matches
00:16and everybody kind of looks around like, well, what the flub is going on? So please do hit that
00:21subscribe button and prepare yourself, because this is the 10 most absurd forgotten WWE matches.
00:27Number 10, John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura, with the winner getting Jinder Mahal. Even though
00:34John Cena had basically done it all in WWE when 2017 rolled around, when we learned that he could
00:39face someone like Shinsuke Nakamura, we all started to do the dance of joy, because in many ways,
00:45this was like a dream fight. You could even spin it as WWE's most important performer of the generation
00:50taking on one of New Japan's, which is why it was hilarious. When they did clash, whoever was
00:55victorious, was going to take on Jinder Mahal. Now I get that sounds like a swipe at Jinder too,
01:01but I do not mean that in any sense. It was just so strange, because the week prior,
01:06Mahal had basically just been, well, an opening dude, and now he was the WWE champion,
01:12and no one had been given time to catch up. So basically everybody was asking, well,
01:15how the hell did he get into this position? And I'm still a bit salty. Then on that year's
01:20Survivor Series, we were supposed to get Mahal versus Brock Lesnar, but the Beast didn't want
01:26to do it. Or he went and hindered Jinder. Number nine, Umaga, Viscera, and Kevin Thorne
01:32versus Doink the Clown, Eugene, and Kane. What the hell was going on in the mid-2000s when it came
01:40to WWE? And who the hell came up with this fever dream? For some reason, though, the WWE did decide,
01:45well, we are about to relaunch Saturday night's main event. We need a match. So they put these
01:51six people against each other. And once again, you have to ask yourself, why was Doink the Clown
01:57still around in 2007? And if he could appear there, where is he now? It was around the same time that
02:02WWE also booked Matt Hardy versus Evander Holyfield in a boxing match, which kind of sums up the era.
02:09And if you do care, this ended when the big red machine chokeslam Viscera. And given how big
02:15Visc was, he actually took it pretty well. It's just so strange to watch, though, because none of
02:19these people, aside from maybe Umaga and Kane, were treated seriously at all. So you lay there
02:26and you kind of start freaking out. Number eight, Bret Hart versus The Undertaker. No, we are not
02:30talking about their 1997 series, which was totally awesome. We are actually talking about 2010,
02:37after Bret Hart had come back to the company and definitely shouldn't have been put in matches
02:42like this. Existing to help move forward the Nexus storyline, obviously, as soon as people found out
02:47about it, they were super duper pumped. And before the bell even rang, here was Wade Barrett's crew,
02:53and they basically just beat up The Undertaker until Kane made the save. And if you're wondering
02:59where the hitman went during all of this, we're never going to know, because he just vanished.
03:05Now, this was, of course, because of Bret's condition and nobody should have been touching him.
03:09But surprise, surprise, everybody went boo after this did go down, because deep down in your tum-tum,
03:16of course, you want to see Bret versus Taker. It was always brilliant. Number seven,
03:20Bret Hart versus The Undertaker versus Shawn Michaels. These days, triple threat matches are
03:25everywhere, and they're more of a storytelling device than anywhere else. But back in 1997,
03:31they got a bit of a woo-ha out of people. If you can believe it, too, we did have one of these.
03:35One month before the Montreal Screwjob, where indeed it was Bret Hart taking on Shawn Michaels
03:41and The Undertaker. And if you're wondering why people don't make a bigger song and dance about
03:46this, it's because it happened when the cameras were off, so it doesn't count, and it actually
03:50ended when Bret Hart pinned Shawn. That is a different conversation for a different day.
03:55As you would expect, too, it was a really, really fun brawl, and WWE started to use the finish
04:00that they would use for the next 30 years. Because after the dead man has hit the tombstone,
04:04when Triple H had pulled him out of the ring, the hit man was like, all right, well, if he's down,
04:09I'll just steal the pin. And he was successful at that. So it's no wonder that does feel really old,
04:14because it's been going on for decades. But seriously, you should check this out.
04:19Your eyes won't believe it. Number six, The Legion of Doom versus Money Inc.
04:22If you are not used to old school wrestling, this will blow your brain. But back in 1992,
04:27the Legion of Doom were the tag team champions. Very sadly, they were going to have to take a
04:32sabbatical, mostly due to Hawke's personal problems. Vince McMahon was the person that informed
04:37them of this and said, look, why don't you just drop the titles or give them up and then you can
04:41walk away. But the LOD decided, no, we don't want to do that. We think that makes us look weak.
04:47So they came up with this instead. For UC, given that Money Inc. with a brand new heel tag team,
04:52that of Ted DiBiase at IRS, and we had a house show in Colorado, Animal and Hawk were more than
04:58willing to drop the titles there, as long as Earthquake and Typhoon, as well as Secessional
05:03Sherry, interfered. This did indeed happen, meaning Money Inc. became the brand new tag team champions.
05:08But at the same time, the natural disasters turned face, because now we needed a new match
05:12to WrestleMania. And of course, The Legion of Doom wasn't going to be here. And all of this didn't
05:17happen on TV. So if you tuned into the show next week, it was like, well, what the hell is going
05:22on? There was also another sub story in the sense that Jimmy Hart turned his back on everyone
05:26here to join up with this brand new pairing that had a bunch of money. All of it was just
05:32so damn confusing. LOD should have just given up the belt.
05:36Number five, Jeff Hardy and Bradshaw versus Farouk and Matt Hardy. In 2001, Vince McMahon
05:41was out of control. Not only did we have all that stuff with Trish Stratus, but we also had
05:46a story where Linda McMahon was in a wheelchair because she had been comatose. Some traditions
05:52still did remain, though, especially when it came to the Royal Rumble and the tagline,
05:56it's every man for himself, which is why we took two separate tag teams and we broke them
06:01up. It was kind of cool because when Matt and Jeff went at it, they turned back the clock
06:05and also said, this is a window into what wrestling will be in the future. Bradshaw and Farouk were
06:11in there. They absolutely kicked each other's ass. This is why it was so funny, though, because even
06:16though they'd been putting this thing against their will, they still decided to take it really
06:21seriously. Good for them. It all changed at the end because it turned out the Hardys were still
06:25in cahoots and Jeff helped Matt win. But then you were like, well, you're an idiot, Jeff, because in
06:31the record books, it's still going to say that you lost. This is why it was absolutely absurd, but
06:36actually fair play to everybody in this, because they didn't play it for laughs and they told you you
06:41should care. That feeling and emotion came out the TV and lo and behold, we actually gave a damn.
06:47Number four, Johnny Gargano versus Dexter Loomis in a love her or lose her match. I mean, the clue,
06:52it's in the title. And imagine if this happened in the real world. But in August 2021, down in NXT,
06:59a consenting adult was told, listen, I know you're in a relationship with Dexter Loomis,
07:04but he is going into a match and if he doesn't do very well, you guys got to break up. Now,
07:10I actually struggled to say this with a straight face because it is absolutely ludicrous. And of
07:13course, the damsel was Indy Hartwell. The best part about this is Dexter did lose and then Indy
07:20Hartwell went, well, I don't care. I'm going to stay with him. So she just did. It is only fair to say
07:26that the story was actually really good and some of the best stuff these two got up to,
07:30but it was also a waste of your time and a waste of your life. It's like me saying to you now,
07:35if you run in this door, I will give you $1 million and you run in, I just turn to you and
07:40go, nah, I can't be bothered. Number three, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder and John Cena versus the
07:46Ms. R-Truth and Kevin Nash. And Mick Foley was a special guest referee. It's like Reddit booking.
07:52Even better, this went down in the UK during their 2011 tour, where I think somebody decided,
07:58we need to inject some fun into this situation. They did. The real joy is that it started off as
08:03just Ryder and Kofi taking on the awesome truth when all of a sudden Foley's music hit and he just
08:09walked out. He's like, oh, hello, Great Britain. I fancy being a referee. All right. Ms. and Truth
08:15didn't like this at all because they felt like it was another conspiracy. So they had an ace up their
08:19sleeve when all of a sudden they introduced Kevin Nash. And you can imagine the reaction to that.
08:25Turns out this was just a game of one-upmanship with the babyfaces having the final say
08:29because they then said, welcome to John Cena. And once again, everyone went crazy. Given this was
08:35a house show as well, it meant the rules didn't apply. So everybody just went out there to have
08:39some fun. And if you were a part of this, you know, it felt like a happening. Mostly it was a nice
08:45reminder that when WWE wants to have fun, they can have fun. Those three letters, F-U-N, are the most
08:52important part about sports entertainment. Number two, Chris Jericho, John Cena, Mark Henry,
08:57the Big Show and Roman Reigns versus the Authority and the Wyatt family. I mean, this happened on
09:03Smack-A-Down. Crazy time it was. And look at the teams too, because it did mean that you had Seth
09:08Rollins and Corporate Kane wearing his trousers, teaming up with Bray Wyatt, Eric Rowan and Luke
09:14Harper. And even looking at that, you're like, nah, I don't think that works. On the other end of the
09:19ring too, we had John Cena, who was just coming off his massive beating by Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam.
09:24And then, as for Big Show and Mark Henry, well, they weren't doing much of anything.
09:29Clearly WWE didn't think this was anything big either, because they didn't advertise it.
09:34And once again, if you sat down to watch the 3rd of September 2014 SmackDown,
09:39it was just there, even though it was pumped with star power. It didn't have any fallout either,
09:43so we just did it because we felt like we should do it. The real shame is this when you can start to
09:49see the wheels coming off the Wyatt family. I don't think WWE ever knew what they should do.
09:54Number one, the Street Profits and the Viking Raiders versus Tozawa and a bunch of ninjas.
10:00All you need to do is listen to that title again, and you will remember why the pandemic era was
10:07absolutely nuts. I mean, it's bad enough that it's down in the Performance Center. I mean,
10:10I can't handle these matches now. But you also have to ask the question,
10:14why is Tozawa a ninja? Where did he get these other ninjas? And why the hell are ninjas in
10:19wrestling to begin with? They also get absolutely wrecked by the Street Profits and the Viking Raiders.
10:23And this is so stereotypical, you'll think you've transported yourself back to 1985.
10:29Nobody remembers this for obvious reasons, and it's never been explained,
10:32which also goes for that match where the Street Profits took on the Viking Raiders,
10:36and it ended when they were chased away by a monster. And I'm not making that up. It actually
10:43happened. You can Google it, but take it from me, don't. Now, please do leave a comment below and
10:49let me know of any absurd matches that we don't talk about anymore. And secretly, these are the
10:53best wrestling matches. Then please do like the video, share the video, and subscribe. There's also
10:57a video on the screen right now, so give it a click. Come follow us on social media at
11:01OneCultureWWE and SimonMiller316. And if you'd like to check out the website, I think you should.
11:07Thank you for joining me as always. You're good, good people. See you soon.
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