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00:00:00Legendas por TIAGO ANDERSON
00:00:30Legendas por TIAGO ANDERSON
00:01:00Legendas por TIAGO ANDERSON
00:01:29Legendas por TIAGO ANDERSON
00:01:59Up and at'em, ladies. Up and at'em.
00:02:04Oh, God.
00:02:05O que você quer dizer? Minha primeira trícola.
00:02:07Eu owni.
00:02:08Actually, foi um pouco mais de trabalho que eu pensava.
00:02:12Obrigado.
00:02:12Mas o que eu disse sobre usar minha casa para sex?
00:02:16Eu não sei.
00:02:17Eu disse, use sua própria casa.
00:02:19E a gente tem que essas chicas conhecerem onde eu moro?
00:02:21Eu não sei que eu não posso fazer isso.
00:02:23Mas Evelyn se sentou, mano.
00:02:24Se ela sabe que você está aqui, ela vai ser um Prius.
00:02:27Eles deveria ser bem com você. Nós somos irmãos.
00:02:31Há half-brothers, technically.
00:02:33Nós somos da mesma sac.
00:02:35Eu não sei que você diz isso.
00:02:37Como você consegue essas chicas para te bangar, eu nunca sei.
00:02:41Você, não é sobre a bang, é sobre a amor.
00:02:44Eu amo essas chicas com tudo que eu tenho.
00:02:46Eu me importo com a Lachitra e Lachanda.
00:02:49Eu me importo com elas muito.
00:02:51Não, não, não. Não, não.
00:02:53Não da uma bota.
00:02:54Não, não, não.
00:03:24Agora ela está escurando com a dieta.
00:03:26Eu, quando você conhece uma garota que é meio que é tão forte e inteligente e preocupante sobre o ambiente,
00:03:34como Evelyn, nós vamos falar.
00:03:36Eu não acho que eu quero que.
00:03:37Eu!
00:03:38Ah, aqui.
00:03:39Você tem o que você tem de seu dinheiro e o que você tem de sua dignidade de casa, por favor.
00:03:43Obrigado.
00:03:44Ravis?
00:03:45Ei, como é?
00:03:46Você pode ir para o céu.
00:03:48Sim, sim, ma'am.
00:03:50Vamos, chup chup, ladies.
00:03:51Vamos, vamos.
00:03:52Você não tem que ir para casa.
00:03:53Mas você não pode ir aqui.
00:03:55Eu sugiro que seja a igreja ou a Planned Parenthood.
00:03:59É isso que é meu chute?
00:04:00É isso que não é minha.
00:04:02Só, é isso que eu vou...
00:04:03Ei, se cara acontece, eu estou aqui para você, meu irmão.
00:04:07Aqui é seu half-brother.
00:04:08Half!
00:04:11Isso é um pouco...
00:04:11Você acha que você acha, Ev?
00:04:13Não!
00:04:14Eu estou só tentando ajudar ele, ok?
00:04:17Você é isso, eu desculpe.
00:04:19Eu desculpe.
00:04:20Eu desculpe.
00:04:21É tudo bem.
00:04:22Mas você pode fazer isso para mim.
00:04:26Você sabe?
00:04:27Um, um pouco de sexo.
00:04:29Ah...
00:04:31Eu já estou muito tarde para o trabalho, como é.
00:04:33Então você tem nada a perder.
00:04:35E tudo a ganhar.
00:04:37Ok.
00:04:39Mas tem que ser uma coisa rápida.
00:04:41Eu disse que era difícil.
00:04:43Você tem um pouco de medo.
00:04:45Você tem um todo todo, oh...
00:04:47Você tem um todo todo, oh...
00:04:51Você tem um todo todo, oh...
00:04:55E eu não consigo ver a ropa...
00:05:00Oh...
00:05:04Oh...
00:05:06Oh, oh, oh, oh
00:05:11You're at the altar of hope
00:05:17And I can't even see the road
00:05:21Oh, oh, oh
00:05:26Be food and drink and ghosts
00:05:31And perhaps even a few...
00:05:33Would you dare call Bloody Marys?
00:05:34You're all invited.
00:05:35Hi, Mary.
00:05:37Yeah, I'm here.
00:05:39I'm sorry I'm late.
00:05:40Something came up.
00:05:44Yep, I'm gonna dress the windows right now.
00:05:47And then I will clean the bathroom.
00:05:51Okay.
00:05:52Bye-bye.
00:05:54Delivery.
00:05:56Cool morning, Chuck.
00:05:59I can't believe your boss makes you greet people that way.
00:06:02Yeah, she says it adds to the ambiance.
00:06:05My condolences.
00:06:08Sign that.
00:06:09Tell you what, though.
00:06:09When I own my own shop, I'm gonna greet customers the way I want to.
00:06:13Hey, that'll be the day.
00:06:17Thanks.
00:06:17And the last one.
00:06:20All right.
00:06:21Thank you, Chuck.
00:06:21And go to hell.
00:06:23You're welcome.
00:06:24And go to hell, Max.
00:06:24Thanks.
00:06:26Hi, guys.
00:06:27See you.
00:06:28Bye.
00:06:29Bye.
00:06:29Bye.
00:06:29Bye.
00:06:29Bye.
00:06:36Bye.
00:06:39Bye.
00:06:39Bye.
00:06:40Bye.
00:06:41Oh, I didn't order you.
00:07:03Satan, genie, make any want, wish, or desire yours the evil way.
00:07:11Live green or blog hard. Saving the world one blog at a time.
00:07:22I just got a shipment of costumes. You want to play dress up?
00:07:25Well, that depends on what you got.
00:07:27Well, there's naughty nurse, mischievous maid, slutty schoolgirl, and hussy housewife.
00:07:35Oh, my favorites. Um, let me just finish up this blog and, uh, I'll be there in a gif.
00:07:43You are coming, Dracula.
00:07:47Of course.
00:07:56That was fang-tastic.
00:07:59Your boss needs to replace those incandescent twos with compact fluorescents.
00:08:14CFLs last up to ten times longer, and she'd be cutting your energy bill by more than half.
00:08:19I love it when you speak green.
00:08:24Well, I'm just trying to curb your carbon footprint.
00:08:29See, when I open Max's Scare Shack, you can be my environmental consultant.
00:08:35Okay, here I go again with that.
00:08:38Ev.
00:08:39Look, werewolves and vampires and zombies, they're figments. Max, they're not real.
00:08:46And?
00:08:47And why waste your time hawking this crap when there are so many real problems in the world?
00:08:53I mean, look at this.
00:08:55Okay?
00:08:57Satan genie.
00:08:59Make any want, wish, or desire yours the evil way.
00:09:04It's a load of horseshit.
00:09:06Yeah, but that's why this stuff is so important.
00:09:10It challenges us to stop accepting the world and, you know, face our inner monster and find the strength to conquer it.
00:09:20It's a bit of a stretch, Max.
00:09:23You say that now, but who will you turn to when the world is taken over by zombies?
00:09:30Yes.
00:09:35You make me laugh.
00:09:38Glad to be of service.
00:09:41Serious.
00:09:43Hm?
00:09:46Once I lost my mom, a part of me just shut off.
00:09:51You know, like a piece of me died with her and...
00:09:56And I found you.
00:09:59You brought me back to life.
00:10:02Promise me we will always be like this.
00:10:05I promise we will always be together.
00:10:09Always and forever.
00:10:10Forever.
00:10:33Well, welcome to your new home.
00:10:35Our new home.
00:10:39Our new home.
00:10:48Legosi did kick the habit, though.
00:10:50I think there's a YouTube video of him leaving rehab, which is great.
00:10:53Yeah, that's great, but that's why you should never put anything unnatural into your body, Max.
00:10:57I just wrote a blog about this.
00:10:59I feel like a malted.
00:11:01Do you want a malted?
00:11:02No, Max, you know I don't drink milk.
00:11:05Come on, Ev. Live a little.
00:11:08Um, the stuff in that kills you.
00:11:25Hello.
00:11:27Welcome to ice cream.
00:11:29Look at all these flavors, Ev.
00:11:30Who's Ev?
00:11:31Um, everything's homemade by yours truly, and everything truly kicks ass.
00:11:36Ginger gore.
00:11:38Walnut warlock.
00:11:40Caramel cadaver.
00:11:42Wait a second, fruit brute?
00:11:44Yeah.
00:11:45Like the monster cereal fruit brute?
00:11:47Yeah, like the monster cereal.
00:11:49What's the fruit brute?
00:11:50General Mills put out a...
00:11:51General Mills put out a...
00:11:53Sorry.
00:11:54Please, go ahead.
00:11:56They put out a line of cereals based on classic monsters, like Frankenberry, Booberry, Cone de Chocula, and fruit brute was one of the cereals, but no one bought it, so it died.
00:12:07Yeah, until I decided to resurrect it. It's alive.
00:12:10Retro.
00:12:12Well, I will have one fruit brute malted, please.
00:12:15Excellent choice.
00:12:16Um, and for the ladies?
00:12:18I'll take a soy Oreo shake and we're in a rush.
00:12:21Um, actually, I don't have cookies and cream. You know, you can get that anywhere, so...
00:12:26Oh, wow. I've never met an ice cream snob before.
00:12:31I didn't mean it like that at all.
00:12:34Oh no, you think that you're so great, right? Because you work at some novelty ice cream shop where you serve flavors based on pop culture artifacts that only cool people like you know about, but do you actually know what they put in this stuff?
00:12:45You're practically poisoning your customers.
00:12:48What is your problem?
00:12:50You are my problem, you skank.
00:12:52Evelyn!
00:12:53Max, we're leaving. We're going to Pinkberry.
00:12:57Are you coming or not?
00:12:58But fruit brute.
00:13:02Fine.
00:13:07I'm so sorry.
00:13:09It's fine. No worries.
00:13:12Good luck.
00:13:14Enjoy Pinkberry.
00:13:16It has milk in it. Also.
00:13:24You mind telling me what that was about?
00:13:27I don't know. Why didn't you tell me, Flirty McGee?
00:13:31Flirty McGee? We were talking about monster cereals.
00:13:35Fine. Go be with someone who knows about obscure, discontinued breakfast foods, Max.
00:13:40I just wanted a malted!
00:13:42Max, I'm so sorry.
00:13:52Please don't be mad at me.
00:13:56I'm not mad.
00:13:57I just wanted to know what happened back there.
00:14:01I don't know. I just...
00:14:04I freaked out, you know? And it wasn't you. It was just...
00:14:08That girl, she just got under my skin.
00:14:11It was just ice cream, Evelyn. Ice cream.
00:14:15You're right. I'm sorry.
00:14:19I, um...
00:14:21I just get scared sometimes.
00:14:24You're all I have, and I don't wanna lose you.
00:14:27You're not gonna lose me, Eve.
00:14:29It's okay.
00:14:30It's okay.
00:14:40Thank you. Go to hell.
00:14:45Where do you get off?
00:14:48Who dare call Bloody Marys?
00:14:51Hey, sexy.
00:14:52Hey, you think you could sneak away from work for a minute?
00:14:53I have a surprise for you.
00:14:54I promise you won't regret it.
00:14:56Really?
00:14:58Really.
00:15:00On my way.
00:15:02Surprise!
00:15:24No, Max, not on the runner. It's, it's hypoallergenic, and I would like to keep it that way.
00:15:37I bet.
00:15:42So?
00:15:44Do you love it, or do you love it?
00:15:46Yeah, it's, uh, it's different.
00:15:49Well, our apartment is now 100% green.
00:15:52Literally.
00:15:55Do you like the color?
00:15:56It's made from fresh cut wheat grass.
00:15:58So, no solvents, toxic metals, or volatile organic compounds.
00:16:02Great.
00:16:04Uh, what did you do with my posters?
00:16:07Don't worry. I put them in the drawer.
00:16:09Oh, my God. You're kidding me, right?
00:16:11You're kidding me, right?
00:16:18Oh, you ruined them.
00:16:22Max, please, they weren't even in English.
00:16:25That's because they were imported.
00:16:27Okay, well, they were taking up all the wall space.
00:16:30These were in pristine condition.
00:16:33Do you understand how much these were worth?
00:16:36I was gonna make a down payment on a space with these.
00:16:39There you go with the shop idea again.
00:16:41And when do we decide to redecorate the apartment anyway?
00:16:43Okay, well, it's my home, too.
00:16:45I know, Evelyn, I know.
00:16:46But we have to make these sorts of decisions together.
00:16:49Well, it was my mother's birthday, and I was just trying to do something fun.
00:16:55Evelyn.
00:16:57Just leave me alone, Max.
00:17:06Go away!
00:17:26Go away!
00:17:27Go away!
00:17:33Travis, no store a key!
00:17:35I said no can go or rent-o!
00:17:37Travis, open up. It's me.
00:17:51Jesus, man. You look like shit.
00:17:53Sim, sim.
00:17:55Bem, desde a Miss Boner Killer
00:17:57abandonou a minha casa,
00:17:59eu não consegui ter nenhum poons.
00:18:01Eu me desculpe.
00:18:03Você está parecendo muito bosta.
00:18:05Não tem ela de você?
00:18:07Tofu.
00:18:09Tofu.
00:18:10Tofu.
00:18:11Tofu.
00:18:12All the time.
00:18:13Eu sei.
00:18:14Eu sei.
00:18:15Eu skipo most meals.
00:18:16Não, eu acho.
00:18:18Eu acho que twinkies expirem.
00:18:20Twinkies não expirem?
00:18:21Sim, eles do.
00:18:22Every four weeks.
00:18:23Really?
00:18:24Then they get good again.
00:18:26I did not know that.
00:18:29What?
00:18:31Ah, sure.
00:18:33You gotta do something about that broad, bro.
00:18:35I mean, she's bad for you and me.
00:18:37Especially me.
00:18:39That's a thing.
00:18:40Evelyn and I, it's...
00:18:42It's not working.
00:18:44You guys breaking up?
00:18:45Well, Evelyn is a very sweet girl.
00:18:49And the sex is...
00:18:52Is rad.
00:18:53Yeah.
00:18:54But you can be such a stark raving lunatic sometimes.
00:18:58Agreed.
00:18:59I just don't think we fit anymore.
00:19:02When you're dropping the bomb, I'll start making some calls.
00:19:05I've never been...
00:19:07The dumper.
00:19:08I've always been the...
00:19:10Dumpy.
00:19:11Shit, bro.
00:19:12Taking a girl to the curb is the easiest part of a relationship.
00:19:15Text dumper.
00:19:16It's quick.
00:19:17Easy.
00:19:18And depending on your wireless plan, it could even be free.
00:19:21I can't text dumper.
00:19:23What?
00:19:24You don't have unlimited texting?
00:19:25We live together.
00:19:27That's on you.
00:19:29That is on you.
00:19:30I can't help you there.
00:19:32Ooh.
00:19:33You're not gonna help me?
00:19:35All right.
00:19:36All right.
00:19:37This is what you're gonna do.
00:19:40Pick a public place.
00:19:42Somewhere with a lot of people.
00:19:44That way, if she freaks, starts kicking you in the junk, someone can call 911.
00:19:47It's happened before.
00:19:48It happened to me a couple years back.
00:19:50That's neither here nor there.
00:19:52Stake it out a day beforehand.
00:19:53Make sure you know where all the escape routes are.
00:19:55A solid exit strategy is key.
00:20:01Ah, don't worry, bro.
00:20:03Evelyn's a tough chick.
00:20:05She'll be back on her feet in no time.
00:20:10Lift hearing the word blog hard.
00:20:11Saving the world one blog at a time.
00:20:13Hey, it's, uh, it's me.
00:20:15Oh, hey, baby.
00:20:16What's up?
00:20:17Uh, nothing, you.
00:20:19Uh, I am blogging up a storm today.
00:20:23I just, I have a surprise for you.
00:20:27Oh.
00:20:28What is it?
00:20:30I wouldn't want to ruin it.
00:20:31You want to meet me at the, uh, at the dog park in 9.30?
00:20:36Oh, my God.
00:20:37I know what it is.
00:20:40You do?
00:20:41You got a puppy!
00:20:43Wait, it's a rescue, right?
00:20:45Just meet me in 30, okay?
00:20:48Okay.
00:20:49Max, you're the best boyfriend ever.
00:20:51I know what I'll do.
00:20:52Hmm.
00:20:53But I'll do the best.
00:20:54Don't go out, mate.
00:20:55I'll do the best, but I'll do the best hopefully.
00:20:56I would.
00:20:57I'll see you later.
00:20:58Oh, my God.
00:20:59I'll do it, man.
00:21:00What about you?
00:21:01Oh, my God.
00:21:02I'll do it.
00:21:03I'll do it.
00:21:04I thought we'll do it again.
00:21:05I'll deal with myself.
00:21:06Yeah, I'll do it again.
00:21:07So it does.
00:21:08Do, do it, yeah.
00:21:09But I'll do it again.
00:21:11I'll do it again.
00:21:12I'll do it again.
00:21:13Don't get out of my way.
00:21:15It's a hitchhike, and it's like,
00:21:16it's like...
00:21:17I'll do it again.
00:21:18Ah.
00:21:21Uma...
00:21:33Evelyn! Evelyn!
00:21:39Max...
00:21:44Don't.
00:21:48Eu não quero deixar você.
00:21:51Eu não quero deixar você.
00:21:53Você não.
00:21:55Nós vamos sempre estar juntos, ok?
00:21:59Eu não quero deixar você.
00:22:06Evelyn.
00:22:09Em.
00:22:12Em.
00:22:14Evelyn.
00:22:16Em.
00:22:18Em.
00:22:20Em.
00:22:22Em.
00:22:24Em.
00:22:25Em.
00:22:26Em.
00:22:27Em.
00:22:28Em.
00:22:29Em.
00:22:30Em.
00:22:31Em.
00:22:32Em.
00:22:33Em.
00:22:34Em.
00:22:35Em.
00:22:36Em.
00:22:37Em.
00:22:38Em.
00:22:39Em.
00:22:40Em.
00:22:41Em.
00:22:42Em.
00:22:43Em.
00:22:44Em.
00:22:45Em.
00:22:46Tchau, tchau, tchau, tchau.
00:23:16Tchau, tchau.
00:23:46Tchau, tchau.
00:24:16Tchau, tchau.
00:24:18Tchau, tchau.
00:24:20Tchau, tchau.
00:24:22Tchau, tchau.
00:24:26It's Travis, man. Open up. I know you're in there.
00:24:30Come on, I swear I don't have anyone with me.
00:24:32Don't make me use my keys.
00:24:34What's up, Max?
00:24:42What's up, Max?
00:24:44I guess, uh, I guess you haven't had time to drop this shit off at Goodwill, huh?
00:24:58What? Too soon?
00:25:00What? Too soon?
00:25:02You're a dick.
00:25:04Come on. You were gonna break up with her anyways, remember?
00:25:06Yeah, right.
00:25:08Killed her instead.
00:25:10Hey, that is bullshit and you know it.
00:25:12I don't know.
00:25:14I just can't help but think that if I stuck it out a little, we would have...
00:25:18We would have found a common ground. We would have been happy again.
00:25:22I refuse to let you talk like that and I refuse to let you rot away in this shrine to your ex.
00:25:28What am I supposed to do?
00:25:30All the things you used to love to do.
00:25:33I don't know. It's hard to remember who I was before her.
00:25:37Well, I used to love going to the movies and, uh, there just so happens to be a double feature at the new bed tonight. Could be fun.
00:25:48Do you want to go to the movies with me?
00:25:50I would love to go to the movies with you but, uh, actually I got a smoking hot date with this MILF, Janine, and I met her on Tinder and I could, uh, could really use the apartment.
00:26:03No.
00:26:05Hey, it's worth a shot. Good seeing you again, bro.
00:26:09Hey, ladies! Max is single and ready to mingle.
00:26:13Deliver them from the bitter pains of eternal death. The woman was a wicked woman, and she was dead in her own life. Yea, Lord, pity them who are dead. And give peace and happiness to the living.
00:26:30Hey, Fruit Brute! Fruit Brute!
00:26:51Hi!
00:26:55Hey.
00:26:57You don't remember me, do you? Oh, my God. I just made an ass up myself.
00:27:01No, no, no. I, I, I do. Ice Cream, right?
00:27:05Yes. Olivia.
00:27:08Max.
00:27:09Hi.
00:27:11A Val Lewton fan, I see.
00:27:13Oh, yeah. Well, the guy took what could have been B-movie exploitation for-
00:27:16And turned it into art house cinema, I know.
00:27:20Is your, um, is your girlfriend here?
00:27:23Uh, no, no. She, um, she moved on.
00:27:28I'm sorry. It happens, you know?
00:27:32I just broke up with this guy I was seeing because he, um, he suddenly decided to become a born-again Christian.
00:27:38Yeah, my ex could be a little extreme, too.
00:27:42Not quite like this. Just like, no smoking, no drinking, no sex. I was like, totally losing my shit. I was like, ah, will somebody please just have sex with me?
00:27:55Right here, baby.
00:27:56Oh, my God. That sounded really bad.
00:28:01Okay, anyway, it was really nice running into you.
00:28:04You, too.
00:28:07Bye.
00:28:13Hey, um, are you doing anything, like, right now?
00:28:18Right now?
00:28:19Right now?
00:28:20Because, you know, I was just, I was thinking, you know, you never, you never did get that malted.
00:28:25What do you want?
00:28:28So, I took off all of my clothes, and I stood right in front of him, and I said, you either pick Jesus, or you pick me.
00:28:39And he picked Jesus.
00:28:41No way.
00:28:42He even joined this Christian rock band. You wanna know what they're called?
00:28:49The Christian Slaters.
00:28:53That is too funny.
00:28:58So, um, how'd you wake up with yours?
00:29:03I, um, I sort of threw her under the bus.
00:29:09I still feel pretty bad about it.
00:29:14Well, if it's any consolation, you know, she was a tad feisty.
00:29:23Yeah, we had our differences.
00:29:25I mean, she wouldn't know half the stuff we're talking about tonight.
00:29:29I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
00:29:34Yeah.
00:29:35I don't think we should be talking about our exes. It's like bad luck or something.
00:29:39It actually kinda helps.
00:29:42Well, then I'm happy to help.
00:29:47To moving on.
00:29:51To moving on.
00:29:52Cheers.
00:29:53Cheers.
00:29:54Hey, do you wanna do something fun?
00:30:03Dying to.
00:30:04Okay, good.
00:30:05But you have to promise not to call me crazy.
00:30:07Do you promise?
00:30:09Hmm.
00:30:13Yeah, I promise.
00:30:14Okay.
00:30:16I love coming here. It's like, so peaceful and quiet.
00:30:19You are crazy.
00:30:23Come on, this isn't just any cemetery.
00:30:25This is the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
00:30:28You know who's buried here?
00:30:30Yeah, I can think of one.
00:30:33Peter Lorre.
00:30:36John Huston.
00:30:39Johnny Ramone.
00:30:41How cool is that?
00:30:43Johnny Ramone.
00:30:44That is pretty cool.
00:30:45Yeah.
00:30:48Hey, Max.
00:30:50What?
00:30:52They're coming to get you, Max.
00:30:55Stop.
00:30:56They're coming for you.
00:30:57Stop.
00:30:58Stop.
00:30:59You know I ran track in high school, right?
00:31:00They're coming for you.
00:31:03I'm coming to get you.
00:31:04Yeah, right.
00:31:16Mom!
00:31:18Okay.
00:31:19Oh no!
00:31:23Oh no, no, no.
00:31:25Obama!
00:31:30What?
00:31:3250?
00:31:33.
00:31:44Oh, eu me sinto que eu sou devagar assim.
00:31:46Não, não, não, não. Não, não. Não, não. Continue.
00:31:48Ok.
00:31:50Eu vou deixar aqui.
00:31:51Você tem um muito tempo.
00:31:53Sim. De nada.
00:31:56Mas, um...
00:31:58Vamos... Vamos parar.
00:32:00Bem, nós somos dois adultos responsáveis, certo?
00:32:03Certo.
00:32:04Certo.
00:32:05Certo.
00:32:10Mas, nós realmente precisamos parar.
00:32:12Muito.
00:32:13Não, não, não.
00:32:14Nós precisamos.
00:32:15Eu tenho que abrir o shop no dia em dia, então.
00:32:18Onde você vai?
00:32:19O Bloody Marys.
00:32:20Você deve vir.
00:32:21Eu vou dar um desconto na fake blood pellets.
00:32:25Ok.
00:32:26Eu vou dar um minuto.
00:32:29Um...
00:32:31Eu, eu...
00:32:32Eu tive um muito bom dia, Max.
00:32:35Me, também.
00:32:38Eu vou te ver com você, amanhã?
00:32:40Sim, definitivamente.
00:32:48Ok.
00:32:50Tchau.
00:32:51Tchau.
00:32:59Thank you.
00:33:13Well, thank you very much.
00:33:17I knew you were a son of a bitch!
00:33:21Well, that wasn't a very warm reception, Matt.
00:33:23Uh, I'm just a little freaked out here.
00:33:25Just give me a second.
00:33:26Isso é só um flashback de quando você se tornou em Mr. Toad's wild ride.
00:33:32É um pouco aqui. Eu vou acertar meu dad.
00:33:35Eu estou comendo.
00:33:37Você vai abrir a porta. Não vai haver ninguém lá.
00:33:43Ei, Max. Eu estou aqui.
00:33:46F*** me.
00:33:47Você está me caindo.
00:33:49Wait, wait, wait, wait, please, stop, stop, stop, stop, what's wrong?
00:33:53Você died. Eu vi você die.
00:33:55Oh, I know. Freaky deaky, right?
00:33:57But how?
00:33:59True love conquers all.
00:34:00That doesn't make any sense.
00:34:02Yes, it does.
00:34:04Don't you see?
00:34:05Our love has been given a second chance and we have to seize the opportunity.
00:34:09Oh, no, you think that's really unnecessary?
00:34:11Oh, my God.
00:34:13What?
00:34:18You kept the runner.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:21Yeah, why wouldn't I?
00:34:22Well, you know how guys are.
00:34:24Always trading in for a newer model.
00:34:27Oh, I would never do that.
00:34:29Good.
00:34:31Because if you did, you'd be fucking dead right now.
00:34:35Boom.
00:34:35Oh, baby, I'm just screwing with you.
00:34:43Speaking of which, oh, I'm so corny.
00:34:47Oh, let's play, baby.
00:34:48Don't you think you should take a shower first?
00:34:51I mean, you were dead for a long time.
00:34:54Well, if you come with me.
00:34:55Oh, you know I hate going to bed with my hair wet.
00:34:59You're such a wuss.
00:35:04Be quick.
00:35:06Take your time.
00:35:12Shit.
00:35:14Who is it?
00:35:15Olivia!
00:35:16Oh, God damn it.
00:35:19Uh, just give me a second.
00:35:21Just one second.
00:35:24Hi again.
00:35:25Hey, what a surprise.
00:35:27Listen, um, I was just thinking about what you said earlier.
00:35:31Yeah.
00:35:32What did I say?
00:35:33I said a lot of things.
00:35:34You know, about us being responsible adults and everything.
00:35:37Right.
00:35:38That.
00:35:39I just think, you know, if I want to and if you want to,
00:35:43then I think that we should just, you know,
00:35:45we should just go for it, right?
00:35:46I mean, it's going to happen eventually anyway, right?
00:35:51Right?
00:35:52Yeah, about that.
00:35:53I think I may have spoken a bit too soon.
00:35:56Awesome.
00:35:58I'm sorry.
00:35:59Um, uh, what?
00:36:03I just think, I think we would both enjoy it a lot more if we just waited.
00:36:09Right, okay.
00:36:10You probably think I'm just like a big hoe bag now.
00:36:17No, I really don't think you're a big hoe bag.
00:36:20A little bit.
00:36:21A little bit.
00:36:21Not even the slightest.
00:36:24Okay.
00:36:24Uh, well, I, I, um, I'll, I'm going to go.
00:36:28Yeah.
00:36:28Yeah.
00:36:29Ready for two, baby!
00:36:31Who was that?
00:36:32Did you hear that?
00:36:34This is good.
00:36:34The walls here are so thin.
00:36:38Right.
00:36:39I, I hate that.
00:36:41That's, that's another reason why.
00:36:43I think that we should wait.
00:36:45Because you don't want the neighbors hearing us going at it like a pack of sex craze hyenas
00:36:52just pounding away at each other all night.
00:36:55You know?
00:36:57Yeah.
00:36:57No, I don't think that would, um, uh, okay.
00:37:04Okay.
00:37:04Uh, yes.
00:37:05So, I'll see you, uh, bye.
00:37:07Bye.
00:37:07Bye.
00:37:08Yeah.
00:37:08Okay.
00:37:13Who was that?
00:37:15Uh, FedEx.
00:37:17This late?
00:37:18Yeah, well, when it absolutely positively has to be there.
00:37:21Overnight.
00:37:23Hmm.
00:37:24Oh.
00:37:25I, um, have a special delivery for you.
00:37:32Are you sure you don't want to dry off first?
00:37:34After what is it better, baby?
00:37:35Oh, dear.
00:37:47Huh.
00:37:47Oh, God, that freaking hurt.
00:37:58Oh, well, I never said I was graceful.
00:38:02You won't die.
00:38:07Well, we said we'd always be together.
00:38:10It's that night at the shop.
00:38:15Always and forever.
00:38:19Satan, Jeannie.
00:38:21Hmm.
00:38:23I guess it wasn't a lot of horse shit after all.
00:38:27I stand corrected.
00:38:30This is gonna be fun.
00:38:34Now, where were we?
00:38:45Worst nightmare ever.
00:38:48Hi.
00:38:49Oh, come on.
00:38:51My morning face is not that bad.
00:38:53Sorry.
00:38:54I'm just having a nightmare.
00:38:56I mean, I was having a nightmare.
00:38:59How did you sleep?
00:39:00Oh, I'm not awake.
00:39:01I have all this energy.
00:39:02Like, I drank a hundred vegetables or something.
00:39:04Oh, and I cleaned you up in a jiffy real quick.
00:39:08Did we...
00:39:09We didn't...
00:39:12Have sex?
00:39:13Hmm.
00:39:13Yeah.
00:39:14No.
00:39:15You passed out.
00:39:16Your penis was the size of a marshmallow mini.
00:39:19But you're awake now.
00:39:21Time to wake up, Goony Bird.
00:39:23Uh, Evelyn, Evelyn.
00:39:24Evelyn, do you think we should have breakfast first?
00:39:27Maybe just something for carbs, energy?
00:39:29No.
00:39:31It's the craziest thing.
00:39:32I'm not even hungry.
00:39:34I'm gonna lose so much weight.
00:39:36Being dead is the best diet ever.
00:39:38Oh, would you look at the time.
00:39:41I'm gonna be late for work.
00:39:42No, no, no.
00:39:43Then we gotta have a quickie first.
00:39:44Uh, please, Evelyn.
00:39:45You just rose from the dead.
00:39:47You deserve more than a quickie.
00:39:49Okay, but when are you gonna be back?
00:39:50Uh, I don't know.
00:39:51It's the Halloween season.
00:39:52Things get real crazy.
00:39:53So don't wake up.
00:39:54Come on, Travis.
00:40:03Pick up.
00:40:05We got shirts.
00:40:06We got suits.
00:40:06We got ties.
00:40:07We got belts.
00:40:08Hey, baby.
00:40:09You ever bang a Viking, huh?
00:40:11Once you go Norse, you'll have no remorse.
00:40:16Shit.
00:40:20I told you not to call me at the office, bro.
00:40:22Travis, whatever you do, do not go back to my apartment.
00:40:27Negativo.
00:40:27I got a scorching hot date tonight with a centerfold from this month's FHM, and she lives with the rents.
00:40:33It's Evelyn.
00:40:34She's back, and she's in my apartment right now.
00:40:37Max, please, please, please don't tell me you ate that acid I left in your fridge.
00:40:41Travis, I'm serious.
00:40:43She's back.
00:40:44She's dead, and she thinks we're still dating.
00:40:47Okay, just settle down.
00:40:49It'll wear off in 10 to 12 hours.
00:40:51Just don't operate any heavy machinery here.
00:40:54Look, I gotta go, okay?
00:40:55I gotta get back to work.
00:40:57Just sit in the corner.
00:40:58Listen to some music.
00:40:59I don't know.
00:40:59All right, bye.
00:41:02Okay, come on.
00:41:04You got me into this.
00:41:05I'm gonna get out of here.
00:41:11Oh, shit.
00:41:13Straight to Hades.
00:41:21Guide for Ridding the Unwelcome Undead by Baron Rowanoff III, Ph.D. Esquire.
00:41:27Salt.
00:41:29Flower.
00:41:30Celery.
00:41:31What the?
00:41:32Parsley?
00:41:33Really?
00:41:34You're kidding me.
00:41:35Wolfsbane.
00:41:36Yeah, because I got a lot of wolfsbane lying around.
00:41:39Blow directly into face.
00:41:41Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:41:42You okay?
00:41:43You're gonna die.
00:41:55Excuse me?
00:41:56One day you're gonna die.
00:41:58And I'm gonna be left all in my lonesome.
00:42:01Well, I'll still be with you in, like, spirit or whatever.
00:42:04You know I can't go on without you.
00:42:08But if I make you like me...
00:42:10Just think about what you're saying here.
00:42:13It's the only way that we can be together forever.
00:42:16Like we promised.
00:42:18We can get married, buy a house, have tons of babies.
00:42:22What the hell is that?
00:42:23Uh, it's just a little something I like to call Etiem Egomos Tendo Pisces!
00:42:27I thought I was gonna sneeze.
00:42:43What was that about?
00:42:46Just a new recipe I wanted to try.
00:42:50Didn't really work out for me.
00:42:52You're so silly sometimes.
00:42:54But seriously, if I kill you, then we get to live happily ever after.
00:43:01Uh, uh, uh, can, can I, can I say no?
00:43:04What?
00:43:06No, no, it's nothing, nothing personal.
00:43:10I just, uh, I would like to go dancing tonight.
00:43:18Really?
00:43:19Yeah.
00:43:20Dancing?
00:43:21Yeah, yeah, to celebrate your return.
00:43:24Max, you've never been to a club in your entire life.
00:43:27I know, I know, but if I'm gonna die, I'd like to live it up.
00:43:31Uh, okay, where?
00:43:35I don't know, somewhere where you won't stick out.
00:43:58Your girlfriend is so hot.
00:44:00Who does her makeup?
00:44:02She's all natural.
00:44:03Hey!
00:44:05Stop eye-banging my boyfriend more to the chef.
00:44:08What?
00:44:09You want a step?
00:44:10Pump?
00:44:11Bring it, bitches!
00:44:17Come on, baby.
00:44:18Let's go get our drinks on.
00:44:19Yeah!
00:44:20Woo-hoo!
00:44:21Woo-hoo!
00:44:27Excuse me.
00:44:28Uh, what's the closest thing you have to an elephant tranquilizer?
00:44:33Absinthe.
00:44:34Make it a double.
00:44:35You've ever danced with a green fairy before?
00:44:37It's the first time for everything.
00:44:41Careful, this stuff will kill you.
00:44:42I'm not so sure about that.
00:44:43Woo!
00:44:44Again!
00:44:45Your funeral!
00:44:46Ha-ha-ha!
00:44:47Been there, baby, done there.
00:44:48Been there, baby, done there.
00:44:49I'm not so sure about it.
00:44:50Woo!
00:44:51Again!
00:44:52Ha-ha-ha!
00:44:53Your funeral!
00:44:54Yeah!
00:44:55You've been there, baby, done there!
00:44:57I'm not so sure about it.
00:44:59Hey!
00:45:00Woo!
00:45:01You did it!
00:45:02I'm not so sure about it.
00:45:04Just not going to die anymore.
00:45:05You did it!
00:45:06You got this!
00:45:07You're not going to die anymore.
00:45:08No, no, no.
00:45:09You got that yet?
00:45:10You got this.
00:45:11I'm not going to die.
00:45:12You got that.
00:45:13That's not going to die.
00:45:15You got this.
00:45:16You're not going to die.
00:45:17One more for the roof.
00:45:28You are the lady.
00:45:29Oh, baby, hold me, I'm cold.
00:45:49No, you're dead.
00:45:51Oh, uh-oh, urge to approach, urge to approach.
00:45:57Uh, baby, you're on hair duty.
00:45:59Oh, baby, green fairy, you're kicking my ass.
00:46:09Oh, God, round two.
00:46:11Ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:46:13Max?
00:46:17Olivia.
00:46:19Hi.
00:46:20Hey.
00:46:21Uh...
00:46:23What are the odds?
00:46:25Is your friend okay?
00:46:28Yeah, just a little worse for the wear.
00:46:31Yeah.
00:46:32Doesn't know when to quit, huh?
00:46:34Yeah, you don't know the half of it.
00:46:36Oh, I can't feel my face.
00:46:38What's up?
00:46:39Nothing, just, uh, we're gonna check out this club,
00:46:42be my, uh, my lady friends.
00:46:44Well, you can skip it.
00:46:45It's dead in there.
00:46:47Get it?
00:46:48Yeah.
00:46:49Oh, I'm effing Jake.
00:46:52This is the guy you've been crushing on?
00:46:54Oh, my God.
00:46:55Please stop.
00:46:56That's so rude.
00:46:57I'm so sorry.
00:46:58There's just too many appletinis.
00:47:00Well, duty calls.
00:47:03Yeah, do what you gotta.
00:47:06Holla!
00:47:07I will.
00:47:09You two suck.
00:47:10You know that?
00:47:11It's so embarrassing.
00:47:17Oh, baby.
00:47:18We are gonna make sweets we love tonight.
00:47:27No, no, no.
00:47:28That's dirty Sanchez.
00:47:29A rusty trombone is when...
00:47:34Oh, brother.
00:47:36Is this the kind of freaky shit you're into?
00:47:39No, but I could be.
00:47:45Gee, you got a necro, bro.
00:47:47She's not dead, Travis.
00:47:49At least not in a traditional sense.
00:47:53No, please, help me take her to bed.
00:47:55No, I'm not touching that bitch.
00:47:57Travis!
00:47:59Because you're my boy,
00:48:00but you're putting her back in the ground when you're done.
00:48:03You got any gloves?
00:48:04Please, Travis.
00:48:09You're a baby.
00:48:12What the hell?
00:48:18What are you gonna do, hm?
00:48:20Funny man.
00:48:22What, you gonna draw a dick on my face?
00:48:24Hm?
00:48:25You know, from my fingers in warm water.
00:48:27What is, what is that smell?
00:48:33Shit my pants.
00:48:35Shit.
00:48:36Ev, I was actually just showing Travis the door.
00:48:42You, you, uh...
00:48:43You've had a...
00:48:44Hey, you, you really partied like a champ tonight.
00:48:46I think you should just go rest.
00:48:47Screw that.
00:48:48I'm up now, and you better be too, if you know what I mean.
00:48:56Hey, why don't you have this?
00:48:58I'll be right back, okay?
00:49:03Travis.
00:49:04Travis, wait!
00:49:06Dude.
00:49:08What kind of voodoo did you do in there, Max?
00:49:09I didn't.
00:49:10I swear.
00:49:11There's a freaking Tim Burton movie in your living room.
00:49:13Oh, my God.
00:49:14She could be one of the infected.
00:49:15Dude, please tell me you wore a condom when you were banging her.
00:49:17It's not a virus thing, Travis.
00:49:19It's more of a...
00:49:21Be careful what you wish for.
00:49:22A thing.
00:49:23I would seriously invest in a hazmat suit if I were you.
00:49:25Peace.
00:49:27You're just gonna take off?
00:49:28Yup.
00:49:29You're not even gonna help me?
00:49:30Nope.
00:49:31Travis, she wants to kill me.
00:49:33Sooner or later, all broads do.
00:49:34I thought we were bros.
00:49:35Half bros.
00:49:37Travis, please.
00:49:38Just tell me what to do.
00:49:39What you were supposed to do in the first place.
00:49:41Dump her ass.
00:49:42Just hope she doesn't eat your brains first.
00:49:44I don't know.
00:49:45All right, perfect.
00:49:46Thanks, sir.
00:49:47I'll have the brains first.
00:49:49Amém.
00:50:19Amém.
00:50:49Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:51:19...
00:51:21I use chocolate chips, just like at IHOP.
00:51:27Dig in.
00:51:29I'm not hungry.
00:51:31So...
00:51:33...have you...
00:51:35...thought about our talk?
00:51:37...together, forever?
00:51:39Yeah, about that.
00:51:41Um...
00:51:43What's wrong?
00:51:45I just feel like things are getting a little bit stale.
00:51:51Stale?
00:51:53Wrong word. Sorry.
00:51:55What are you trying to say?
00:51:57I just think before we take such a drastic step in our relationship,
00:52:03how would you feel about taking a very small break?
00:52:11Or more of a breather, really?
00:52:15Are you breaking up with me?
00:52:17No, it's just a breather.
00:52:21I dug myself out of a grave for you.
00:52:25Do you have any idea how hard it is digging yourself out of a grave?
00:52:31It's friggin' hard!
00:52:33And there goes the deposit.
00:52:35I can't believe it.
00:52:37Ow, F.
00:52:39You're drawing blood.
00:52:40Where do you get the balls to even ask me if I want a break?
00:52:43Right. See, I'm asking if you want to take a break.
00:52:49Because I'm worried that I'm not giving you what you need, what you want, what you deserve.
00:52:55The Lord knows you deserve so much.
00:52:59Oh...
00:53:00Baby!
00:53:02Don't be silly.
00:53:04You are the best boyfriend ever!
00:53:08Oh, you're so happy!
00:53:10You're so happy!
00:53:12You always loved violence.
00:53:20Thank you. Go to hell.
00:53:23Hey, why don't you go to hell?
00:53:26Already there, sir.
00:53:35Hi.
00:53:36Hi.
00:53:37Rough night?
00:53:39Rough life.
00:53:41Yeah.
00:53:42I thought you might be a little hungover, so I brought you a remedy that's been in my family for years.
00:53:52Olivia, you are an angel from heaven.
00:53:56Yeah, I know.
00:54:01It must be nice having your own place.
00:54:03Making your own hours.
00:54:05Greeting customers the way you want.
00:54:08Getting burgers whenever you want.
00:54:11Yeah.
00:54:12I'm thinking about subletting the space on the other side.
00:54:15If you know anyone who's interested, it would make a really great spot for, like, a startup.
00:54:20I think.
00:54:21Hmm.
00:54:22I did.
00:54:23But, uh, I don't think he's chasing that dream anymore.
00:54:27That's too bad.
00:54:29Sometimes people just gotta take a chance, you know?
00:54:35No.
00:54:36I should probably get that.
00:54:49Yeah.
00:54:50Who dare call Bloody Marys?
00:54:51Hey, baby.
00:54:52Uh, hi.
00:54:53Um, I'm, I'm a little, uh, busy right now.
00:54:56Hey, well, I was just thinking about you and I wanted to call.
00:55:11Um, that's nice.
00:55:14Uh, I'm, I'm with a customer.
00:55:17Okay.
00:55:19Max?
00:55:20Yeah?
00:55:21I love you.
00:55:23That's great.
00:55:24That's really great.
00:55:28Did you hear what I said?
00:55:30Yeah, yeah.
00:55:31I said I love you.
00:55:33Loud and clear.
00:55:34Well, aren't you gonna say it back?
00:55:38Max?
00:55:39Hello?
00:55:42Yeah, yeah, love you back.
00:55:44Bye.
00:55:48My boss is, uh...
00:55:52Yeah, you know, cut the crap, Max.
00:55:57Please just let me explain, okay?
00:55:59No, you don't have to explain anything.
00:56:01I, I, I know exactly what's going on.
00:56:04I really don't think you do, but...
00:56:06It's obvious.
00:56:07You're not over your ex yet.
00:56:09It's not me, Olivia.
00:56:10It's her.
00:56:11She won't get out of my life.
00:56:14Yeah, well, I'm not gonna, like, share you with someone else, you know?
00:56:18I already tried that with my ex-boyfriend, and you know how that turned out.
00:56:22So...
00:56:24Believe me, Olivia, I really, really like you.
00:56:28Well, there's only so much rejection that I can take.
00:56:33If you want to be with me, then you'll be with me.
00:56:40Okay.
00:56:41You know, um, they're showing Night of the Living Dead tomorrow night at the Hollywood Forever.
00:56:51And I'll be there if you want to meet me.
00:56:56And if not, that's totally fine.
00:57:00But, you know, it was nice to know you then.
00:57:04Okay.
00:57:07Bye.
00:57:11So you're saying I should re-kill my ex?
00:57:15Seeing as you can't nat up, I say you got no choice.
00:57:18Yeah, but I tried, I tried.
00:57:20And she went all 28 weeks later.
00:57:24Listen to me.
00:57:25That girl in our apartment is not Evelyn anymore.
00:57:28She's zombie Evelyn.
00:57:30She's Zevelyn.
00:57:32That's...
00:57:34Kind of awesome.
00:57:38Travis esta en la biblioteca!
00:57:40And what am I supposed to do anyway?
00:57:42I saw her get hit by a bus.
00:57:46And break her neck and she's still going.
00:57:53Bullet to the brain?
00:57:54I mean, it works in all those zombie movies.
00:57:56No, no, no, no. I'm against firearms.
00:57:59Just take through the heart.
00:58:00She's not a vampire.
00:58:04Electrocution.
00:58:05Bathtub, hair dryer, zap.
00:58:07She's dead.
00:58:09I'd probably end up zapping myself.
00:58:11All right, let me see what we have around here.
00:58:16There's...
00:58:20Ah.
00:58:22Ooh.
00:58:24Good old-fashioned beheading ought to do it.
00:58:27Easy, too.
00:58:28Just go creepin' while she's asleepin'.
00:58:30Evelyn doesn't sleep.
00:58:32Well, you'll just have to get creative, then.
00:58:53You're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do, are you?
00:58:55Uh, what on earth would that be?
00:58:58Don't play dumb, Max.
00:59:01You're gonna repaint the walls.
00:59:05You got me.
00:59:06I noticed the color was fading, so I was gonna...
00:59:10add another coat.
00:59:11Aw.
00:59:12That's sweet, Max.
00:59:13But you're gonna have to wait until I finish my yoga.
00:59:15My chakras off.
00:59:35Ever since I came back, I can hit all these poses I couldn't before.
00:59:41That's pretty rad.
00:59:45Why is it so beautiful?
00:59:46She's so beautiful.
00:59:47That's beautiful.
00:59:48What are you doing, baby?
00:59:50Uh...
00:59:51Just, um...
00:59:52...admiring your form.
00:59:53Um...
00:59:54How...
00:59:55...m...
00:59:56...m...
00:59:57...m...
00:59:58...m...
00:59:59...m...
01:00:00...m...
01:00:01...m...
01:00:02...m...
01:00:03...m...
01:00:04...m...
01:00:05...m...
01:00:06...m...
01:00:07...m...
01:00:08...m...
01:00:09...
01:00:25Berries, chinesse food.
01:00:27É a melhor coisa do país.
01:00:29Berries, chinesse food.
01:00:31Sup, killer?
01:00:33Foi rápido.
01:00:35Tudo bem.
01:00:41Onde está a sangue?
01:00:43Onde está a sangue? Onde está a sangue?
01:00:45Onde está a sangue?
01:00:47Onde está a sangue?
01:00:49Onde está a sangue?
01:00:51Ela já está morta, Max.
01:00:53Não importa se ela está vivo ou morta.
01:00:55É difícil.
01:00:57É difícil.
01:00:59Eu vou levantar Olivia tonight,
01:01:01e aí vai ser o fim.
01:01:03Eu vou levantar a sangue e me,
01:01:05turn me into one of the living dead,
01:01:07e eu vou rot unhappily ever after.
01:01:09Stop it right now.
01:01:11I'm meeting Olivia at that cemetery tonight.
01:01:13I told you, Travis.
01:01:15I'm not beheading my ex.
01:01:17You're not.
01:01:19I am.
01:01:21No, this...
01:01:23This isn't your fight.
01:01:25I know, but I got this.
01:01:27I really don't think you do.
01:01:29I got this.
01:01:31I don't understand why you have to go into work tonight.
01:01:35It's the graveyard shift, Ev.
01:01:37The night before Halloween is always a bitch.
01:01:39Shelves got to get stocked, pumpkins got to get carved,
01:01:41cobwebs got to get hung.
01:01:43It just seems weird.
01:01:45You were never this busy when I was,
01:01:47you know, alive.
01:01:49Well, that was the off season,
01:01:51and this is game time.
01:01:53Well, try to get home early.
01:01:55But I have a feeling tonight is gonna be a big one.
01:01:59Kiss kiss.
01:02:01I just said too many times...
01:02:13HmF.
01:02:19Goodbye, Evelyn.
01:02:21Goodbye, honey.
01:02:23Tchau, tchau, tchau.
01:02:41Não sei se você está tudo bem com isso?
01:02:43Não se preocupe, eu vou fazer isso aqui.
01:02:46Tudo bem, eu vou você.
01:02:47É o que nós fazemos, nós somos familiares.
01:02:50Come aqui.
01:02:53Boa sorte, Max.
01:02:55Obrigado.
01:02:56Você também.
01:03:21Ele não está aqui.
01:03:22Vamos lá.
01:03:23Eu só vim para ter meu Gora Gora Girls dvd.
01:03:26Max já tinha isso por meses.
01:03:27Você pode ter isso amanhã.
01:03:29Não pode ter que eu.
01:03:30Eu vou para um an epic snowboarding trip.
01:03:32Eu não vou voltar até New Year's.
01:03:39Bem, hello, Evelyn.
01:03:40Você está olhando especialmente morbid esta noite.
01:03:44Just get your DVD and go home, douchebag.
01:03:46Easy, Thriller.
01:03:47I'll be quick.
01:04:10Hey.
01:04:11Hey, yourself.
01:04:12It's a nice night for a zombie movie surrounded by a bunch of dead people.
01:04:17I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:04:20Shall we?
01:04:21We shall. Let's do it.
01:04:26Can't you just get it when you come back?
01:04:28Nope.
01:04:29Why?
01:04:30Because it gets very lonely up there. I need my spank material.
01:04:33Oh, you're repulsive. Do you know that?
01:04:35Right back at you, Toots.
01:04:37Hallelujah. The Gore Gore Girls.
01:04:39It's an instant classic.
01:04:40Great. Leave.
01:04:41No, no, no, no. I gotta test it out first.
01:04:43Oh, come on.
01:04:44Last time I lent Max a DVD, the damn thing got so scratched up it looked like a game of Tetris.
01:04:49I was very upset. It was wild things. Two.
01:04:53I'm sure that your stuff is fine. Now, please leave.
01:04:56Two minutes, okay?
01:04:58Two minutes.
01:04:59Scout time.
01:05:00Two minutes.
01:05:01Yeah.
01:05:04Hey, do you have any, uh, do you have any leftovers?
01:05:07Travis?
01:05:09Steve!
01:05:11Steve!
01:05:12Sir.
01:05:13guests.
01:05:14Two minutes.
01:05:15Hey, Hahaha.
01:05:16Hey.
01:05:17Hey!
01:05:18Hey!
01:05:19Hey, nossa.
01:05:20Hey!
01:05:24Help!
01:05:25Julia!
01:05:26Pizza!
01:05:27Donnie!
01:05:28Ah!
01:05:29It'sos!
01:05:30ohne oh!
01:05:32pied那就
01:05:34Vamos lá.
01:05:48Vou sair daqui.
01:05:50Não.
01:05:52Ok.
01:06:04É um pouco mais difícil.
01:06:06É tudo bem.
01:06:08É tudo bem.
01:06:10É tudo bem.
01:06:18Happy Halloween.
01:06:20Cheap de cheapos.
01:06:22Des Armas.
01:06:24Não há muitos o quê.
01:06:32Viu.
01:06:33Viu, filha.
01:06:34Viu.
01:06:36Não há não.
01:06:41Não!
01:06:42Não há não!
01:06:52.
01:06:54.
01:06:56.
01:06:58.
01:07:00.
01:07:02.
01:07:06.
01:07:08.
01:07:10.
01:07:12.
01:07:14.
01:07:16.
01:07:18.
01:07:20.
01:07:21Hump me and dump me.
01:07:23Do you think you're the type?
01:07:25I got to swing by my place and check on something.
01:07:28I will call you later, ok?
01:07:30Uh huh.
01:07:31I'm going to go home.
01:07:35Each few more Z's.
01:07:38You wore me out.
01:07:40Hey, um.
01:07:42You were right by the way.
01:07:46About what?
01:07:47It was worth the wait.
01:07:49The wait!
01:07:50O que é isso?
01:07:56Eu disse.
01:08:00Tchau.
01:08:01Tchau.
01:08:20Tchau.
01:08:32Helen.
01:08:33Max.
01:08:36Eu estava preocupada.
01:08:38Eu estava trabalhando. Eu disse.
01:08:42Eu me liguei.
01:08:44Não se responde.
01:08:46Yeah, I was busy.
01:08:50I'm sorry.
01:08:51You changed your clothes.
01:08:54Oh, yeah.
01:08:55I, um...
01:08:57I spilled caro syrup
01:08:59all over them, and then
01:09:00I had to go to the dry cleaner
01:09:02to pick these up.
01:09:04Did I, uh...
01:09:06Did I miss anything?
01:09:08No.
01:09:10No?
01:09:12I ate dinner.
01:09:14Cleaned up.
01:09:16You ate dinner.
01:09:18Mm-hmm.
01:09:20But you're never hungry.
01:09:23Well...
01:09:24I got a craving.
01:09:28What did you do to him, Matt?
01:09:32Where is he?
01:09:33Max!
01:09:34Dad!
01:09:38You ate Travis.
01:09:42You ate my brother.
01:09:44Half brother, Max.
01:09:48And the lesser half,
01:09:49if you ask me.
01:09:51We were family.
01:09:55I am your family now.
01:09:57He was a user and a loser.
01:10:00Max, he didn't even taste good.
01:10:03I...
01:10:04I can't believe you did this.
01:10:07No more games, Max.
01:10:10You promised me
01:10:11that we would be together forever.
01:10:13It's time.
01:10:16I promise.
01:10:18It won't hurt that much.
01:10:21You're right.
01:10:23No more games.
01:10:26Let's do this.
01:10:27But, uh...
01:10:32Not here.
01:10:34Where?
01:10:35Why don't you run a...
01:10:37run a bath,
01:10:38and I'll meet you there
01:10:40in a sec.
01:10:46And why don't you make it hot?
01:10:48Nice and hot.
01:10:51With bubbles.
01:10:52Come on, baby.
01:11:16Got some serious bubbles waiting.
01:11:18I'm coming.
01:11:19I'm just, uh...
01:11:20doing a little manscaping.
01:11:369-1-1, what's your emergency?
01:11:38Hi.
01:11:38I'd like to report a homicide.
01:11:41Bear with me,
01:11:42because this is going to sound
01:11:43really, really, really, really weird.
01:11:45But my girlfriend
01:11:46came back from the dead,
01:11:47and then she ate my brother,
01:11:49and now she's going to eat me.
01:11:52Hello?
01:11:58Hurry up, Max.
01:11:59The water's getting cold.
01:12:02Uh, coming.
01:12:03Just, uh...
01:12:04doing my taint.
01:12:05Okay.
01:12:07enthusiast.
01:12:17You're a hero.
01:12:18You're a hero.
01:12:19I'm a hero.
01:12:20You're a hero.
01:12:20You're a hero.
01:12:27Yeah.
01:12:28Yeah, yeah.
01:12:29I'm a hero.
01:12:30We'll meet you...
01:12:31Ruby.
01:12:31You, a hero.
01:12:32Bye.
01:12:33Alright.
01:12:33I'm a hero.
01:12:34Bye.
01:12:34I will meet you...
01:12:34Bye, boom.
01:12:35Bye.
01:12:35Tell us...
01:12:35Max, onde você está?
01:12:45Eu achei que você estava acabando de jogar jogos, Max.
01:12:50Max!
01:13:05A CIDADE NO BRASIL
01:13:35Can someone please help me?
01:13:37Ah, dammit!
01:13:39Hold your horses.
01:13:41I've been on a john.
01:13:43What's the ruckus?
01:13:45You may want to sit down first, sir.
01:14:01Hey, the entrance is on the other side,
01:14:03but we're closed right now, okay?
01:14:17Trick or treat, smell my feet.
01:14:21Give me something good to eat.
01:14:24Hey, I said we're closed right now.
01:14:26Are you deaf?
01:14:33Hey.
01:14:39Cool costume.
01:14:43Give me candy.
01:14:45Give me cake.
01:14:47Give me something sweet to take.
01:14:51What are you?
01:14:53Fire in the resurrection!
01:15:01How you pulling my pickles, sonny boy?
01:15:03No, god dammit.
01:15:05This is actually happening right now.
01:15:07Are you unmasked?
01:15:09Are you unmasked?
01:15:10No, sir.
01:15:11Now can you please send a squad car to my apartment,
01:15:15preferably with officers that shoot really, really well?
01:15:17Attention, all units breaking and entering in a malt shop
01:15:21on the corner of Melrose and Heliotro.
01:15:23What kind of idiot knocks over a malt shop?
01:15:27Shmuck knocks over a malt shop.
01:15:29Lydia.
01:15:31God damn methods.
01:15:35Lydia!
01:15:37Oh, god dammit, Evelyn.
01:15:59You think you can just come and steal my boyfriend?
01:16:01Nothing's gonna happen to you.
01:16:03Evelyn!
01:16:04Max!
01:16:05You let her go.
01:16:07This is between you and me.
01:16:09You cheated on me?
01:16:11With her?
01:16:13It's not like that, Ev.
01:16:15Now let her go and I will explain everything.
01:16:17You broke my heart, Max.
01:16:20I know, Ev, but it's not beating anymore.
01:16:23Now let her go.
01:16:25I'm not gonna ask again.
01:16:27What the hell is going on, Max?
01:16:29Olivia,
01:16:31this is Evelyn.
01:16:33My dead ex-girlfriend.
01:16:37What?
01:16:39This...
01:16:41You know, I met you before,
01:16:43and you were a bitch then,
01:16:45and you're an even bigger bitch now.
01:16:47Evelyn!
01:16:49Enough!
01:16:51We were happy together, Max.
01:16:53We weren't, we weren't, Ev.
01:16:55I wasn't for a very long time.
01:16:57It's my fault.
01:16:58I should have ended it.
01:16:59Now let her go.
01:17:01And we can break up.
01:17:03For real this time.
01:17:05I don't understand.
01:17:07Evelyn, we weren't meant to be together.
01:17:11Why?
01:17:12You would never be happy with me
01:17:14because I would never be happy.
01:17:18Now it's time to go, Ev.
01:17:20It's time to be with you, Ma.
01:17:22Okay.
01:17:24But I'm taking you with me.
01:17:27But I'm taking you with me.
01:17:29O que é isso?
01:17:59O que é isso?
01:18:29O que é isso?
01:18:59O que é isso?
01:19:01O que é isso?
01:19:05O que é isso?
01:19:09O que é isso?
01:19:11O que é isso?
01:19:13O que é isso?
01:19:17O que é isso?
01:19:19O que é isso?
01:19:21O que é isso?
01:19:23O que é isso?
01:19:25O que é isso?
01:19:27O que é isso?
01:19:29O que é isso?
01:19:31O que é isso?
01:19:33O que é isso?
01:19:35O que é isso?
01:19:37É isso?
01:19:39O que é isso?
01:19:41O que é isso?
01:19:43O que é isso?
01:19:45O que é isso?
01:19:47O que é isso?
01:19:49O que é isso?
01:19:51O que é isso?
01:19:53O que é isso?
01:19:55O que é isso?
01:19:57O que é isso?
01:19:59O que é isso?
01:20:01O que é isso?
01:20:03O que é isso?
01:20:05O que é isso?
01:20:07O que é isso?
01:20:09O que é isso?
01:20:11O que é isso?
01:20:13O que é isso?
01:20:17O que é isso?
01:20:19Eu acho que você era morto.
01:20:20O que é isso?
01:20:21Bem, eu estou aqui.
01:20:23O que é isso?
01:20:29Quem é isso?
01:20:31Quem é isso?
01:20:33Eu estou Travis.
01:20:35Ah...
01:20:36Ah...
01:20:37Eu estou, Olivia.
01:20:38Isso é Travis.
01:20:39Isso é...
01:20:40So, Olivia...
01:20:41Yeah, heard a lot about you.
01:20:43Jesus Christ, Max, how many zombies do you know?
01:20:46Just these two, really.
01:20:49So...
01:20:51What do we do now?
01:20:54Bury your ex.
01:21:10Olivia, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner.
01:21:17I really wanted to. I just...
01:21:21I didn't know how.
01:21:23And if you just let me, I promise, I will prove to you...
01:21:33Let's bury her and get out of here.
01:21:36All right.
01:21:38Okay. Bye.
01:21:42All right.
01:21:49Goodbye, Ellen.
01:21:56Here you go.
01:22:00It's been cool, guys.
01:22:04I'll be right after you.
01:22:09Hi.
01:22:10Hey.
01:22:11Thank you.
01:22:12Have a hell of a day.
01:22:14Hey.
01:22:17Hello.
01:22:18Hello.
01:22:22What's biz?
01:22:23It's not bad.
01:22:24You?
01:22:25It is so good.
01:22:28It's scary.
01:22:29Oh, really?
01:22:30Well, then why are you late on this month's rent?
01:22:34Because I, um...
01:22:36I spent all my money...
01:22:40on this.
01:22:41Well, what do you think?
01:22:54Max, my love.
01:22:56I think we're gonna make great partners.
01:22:58Now, if we could only get your brother to settle down.
01:23:09Welcome to Max and Olivia's crematorium.
01:23:14Hey, baby.
01:23:15You ever bang a zombie?
01:23:17Once you go undead, it's never been better in bed.
01:23:19Just saying.
01:23:20Ah!
01:23:24Hey, hey, we're the Comings.
01:23:28Can't wait to blow out our brains.
01:23:31Hey, hey, we're the Comings.
01:23:33Hey, hey, we're the Comings.
01:23:36Can't wait to blow out our brains.
01:23:39With that, we're a little insane.
01:23:41Probably cause you did too much again.
01:23:42Come on!
01:23:44Hey, hey, we're the Comings.
01:23:46Hey, hey, we're the Comings.
01:23:48Can't wait to blow out our brains.
01:23:50With that we're a little insane.
01:23:53Probably cause you did too much again.
01:23:57Go!
01:23:58Go!
01:24:04We rock!
01:24:25We don't care what you think.
01:24:30Play punk rock like it's 93.
01:24:33We're gonna steal your girlfriend.
01:24:36We're gonna steal your girlfriend.
01:24:40When this gay scene gonna end.
01:24:47Hey, hey, we're the Comings.
01:24:52Missing the day's attention wins.
01:24:55When they were a little sick.
01:24:59Castingly playing with our dicks.
01:25:02We're gonna kick you in the face.
01:25:06Blood and guts all over the place.
01:25:10Drag weird girl by your hair.
01:25:13Música
01:25:43Música
01:26:13Música
01:26:43Música
01:26:45Música
01:26:47Música
01:26:49Música
01:26:51Música
01:26:53Música
01:26:55Música
01:26:57Música
01:26:59Música
01:27:01Música
01:27:03Música
01:27:05Música
01:27:07Música
01:27:09Música
01:27:11Eu estava ficando fracassado
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