00:00The angel appeared unto them and said,
00:16Don't let the bastards get you down.
00:23And the wise woman shall build her house
00:28and folly shall tear it to the ground.
00:33And he said unto them,
00:37Don't wash your hands in shit.
00:41Yeah, I got something to say unto you, too, Fonce.
00:45Marl, Troy and them are back.
00:47You were supposed to be out there next to the manger.
00:49We're losing the light. You're the other angel.
00:51Come on, Daddy.
00:51Huh? Okay.
00:55I guess I could play Abaddon.
00:58Dark angel of the bottomless pit.
01:03For a few more minutes.
01:13What are you supposed to be anyway, Cyril?
01:15I'm a wise man.
01:16Wise man.
01:17Well, I know why I'm playing Joseph.
01:19I should be playing Jesus if he's a wise man.
01:21Brain on him the size of a bug's balls.
01:25Got rose and everything.
01:26Oh, look, there's maybe lute angel of them.
01:28What's that?
01:29Nothing.
01:31You going somewhere?
01:32No.
01:34We could have had Christmas in Ontario with my family.
01:37What a nice, normal Christmas fruit.
01:39Make way for the Savior!
01:42You mean Baby Jesus?
01:43All right, here we go.
01:45Baby Jesus coming through.
01:47Lamb of God.
01:47Look out.
01:48What?
01:48Yes, Cyril.
01:49Why do you get to be the Baby Jesus?
01:52Because I am the Baby Myrna.
01:54What?
01:54You going to play the baby?
01:56You look too old.
01:57Way too old.
01:59Darlene looks twice as old as I do.
02:01Twice as old as you?
02:02That would put Darlene at about 120.
02:04Excuse me?
02:05Do you remember that Christmas that he got the Easy Bake Oven I wanted because he was the
02:09baby?
02:10Yeah, my Chaddy Cathy doll.
02:11I wasn't even allowed to hold on to her because he wanted him.
02:13Because he's the baby.
02:15Everything always goes his way.
02:17Just look at him.
02:17He's the baby.
02:18Get in the manger, you spaz.
02:21Get in the manger.
02:22Myrna, don't...
02:23Yeah.
02:23Hey.
02:24And so this is what it's come to.
02:31After all the stockings and the reindeer tracks and me up on the roof shaking sleigh bells
02:37and the yearly shoving my fist up the greasy cavity of a turkey before my eyes even got
02:43a chance to pop open Christmas morning.
02:46By your star above, I hope you'll stay my happy holidays.
02:56And before I picked up the Christmas tree that Fonz had knocked over the night before
03:00and then hauled him up over the stairs reeling and roaring his way through whatever little
03:05bits of Christmas spirit I'd managed to cobble together.
03:09And now, here they are, tearing at each other like crazed hyenas, spoiled rotten, overgrown,
03:17gormless galoots.
03:18And their father, as useless as a cut buck, lazy now as a cut cat.
03:24This is going up on Snapchat.
03:26All right.
03:27That's it.
03:28It's over.
03:29No more me making Christmas for all of ye to destroy.
03:33I'm done.
03:35I'm leaving.
03:36Mom, did you say something?
03:37All right, listen.
03:38Look.
03:39Now that you're all shut up, seems as good a time as any to make an announcement.
03:44Alma.
03:45Get up, sweetheart.
03:48Alma is pregnant.
03:50What?
03:50And the wife shall be subservient to the husband.
03:56Go a higher hug.
03:58Jesus, Father.
03:59Jesus, Murphy.
04:00Everyone, get into your holy places until it takes the picture.
04:03Go on.
04:04Get in your holy places!
04:06I wanted to save myself, but so who was going to look after everyone else?
04:11Oh, I know.
04:11I know.
04:12Let go and let God.
04:14But Jesus, God does such a shitty, shitty job.
04:19Not to mention slow.
04:21God damn fool, cause I'm done.
04:26Oh, I'm done.
04:32And you can drag me out before some authority.
04:41Yeah, that's what you have to do.
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