Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 04
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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00:00Ä°zzy do one?
00:01BWAAAH
00:02Can Bobby do one?
00:04BWAAAH
00:05Can Mummy do one?
00:07BWAAAH
00:09Oh God
00:10Can Ezra do one?
00:11BWAAAH
00:13BWAAAH
00:15BWAAAH
00:16BWAAAH
00:17BWAAAH
00:19BWAAAH
00:20BWAAAH
00:21BWAAAH
00:22BWAAAH
00:23Oh Daniella, I like this
00:24He's gone and done and did it
00:25I don't trust him because he's teetotal
00:27Oh no, no
00:28Cryptic that in there, convoluted that
00:30BWAAAH
00:31Oh no, no
00:32What a waste of a muffin
00:34BWAAAH
00:35BWAAAH
00:36What's that?
00:37Unacceptable
00:38Yeah
00:39Oh
00:40Nah
00:41What the hell?
00:42Is that it?
00:43It's not much evidence of man boob, is there Mary?
00:46Oh I hate Swiss roll
00:47Oh no
00:48Oh
00:49Oh no
00:50Oh he's a badger
00:51He is, he's a badger
00:53Oh man, he's got one in and one out
00:55It's the kind of trash I adore
00:57Was that good for you as it was for me?
00:59Ha ha ha ha
01:00In the week ITV turned 70, we enjoyed lots of great telly
01:06A scandal was brewing in the staff room on BBC One
01:10You'll be able to put your side of the story across during the inquiry
01:13I don't believe this
01:14Because I was a supervisor, they'd always, if there was an investigation, can you take notes?
01:20Can I?
01:21I used to love it
01:22Yeah
01:23She's done what?
01:24And then
01:25Everything said in this room is strictly private and confidential
01:28Straight out of the door
01:29Of course it is, of course it is
01:31Straight in the brie room
01:33She's been nicking
01:35The Chelsea set hit the beach on E4
01:41Thanks
01:43Hello
01:44Imagine having perky tits that you could wear a top like that with no brown walk down the beach
01:48I was literally just thinking that
01:52Might have been more
01:54And ITV News was breaking all the big stories
01:5912.30 Sunday lunch from ITV1 and STV
02:02Now finally this evening there is just one rule that magicians must abide by
02:05Don't reveal your secrets
02:07That is perhaps why a pen and teller, an act seen by millions around the world
02:10How long was that sentence? Did you notice that?
02:13She didn't even draw a second bit of breath
02:15The lung battery
02:16I was waiting for some pause or something
02:19Nothing
02:20That's why Julie Ettingham does what she does
02:22She's a professional man
02:23That lung capacity man, forget it
02:25She's like a rapper isn't she?
02:26Yeah
02:27Do you think that before the news comes on she goes
02:29Yeah
02:30Yeah
02:39By the way, if I do die Mary, I want to insist on something
02:43I don't want the Frank Sinatra sing a song I did it my way at the funeral
02:48You didn't do it at all let alone doing it your way
02:50No, I didn't do it
02:51But also I don't want Bohemian Rhapsody either
02:54No
02:55Giles and his wife Mary
02:57What do you want?
02:58I wish it could be Christmas Every Day by Slade
03:01You couldn't want that
03:03Erm
03:04That would be so annoying
03:08Annoying right to the last minute
03:10On Sunday night, a brand new group of brave singles were saying I'd do again on E4
03:17They get married at first sight, it took you seven years to ask me
03:22No, I don't want to make a mistake ever
03:25Coming in
03:26Yikes
03:27OK, this is more comfy
03:31I haven't seen it
03:32No, no why, just the title makes me feel
03:34I've heard about it, yes, I thought it was ridiculous
03:36This
03:37This
03:38The first to enter the experiment is 31-year-old Sarah
03:41See, she's getting on so she could do with getting married anyway
03:4531's getting on
03:47I want to be married by the time I'm 30
03:49I usually don't get approached by men that often
03:52I'm having too much of a good time
03:54Oh, recruitment consultant, you know what they're like
03:56That's a bit of you, that's a bit of you
03:58I just love a bad boy
04:01Oh no
04:03Shame
04:04What are you looking at me for?
04:06I'm looking for a man who will cheese on me, lie to my face and call me a bitch
04:13I really want to find a nice guy
04:16And yeah, that somebody is just going to be my night in shining armour
04:19Yes
04:20Oh God love you
04:21Not your usual type doll
04:22No
04:23You want, you want
04:24She'll go for the usual type
04:25I know, I know, I know
04:27None of us learn, do we?
04:30My perfect husband would be someone who can match my energy
04:34There we go
04:35Oh, there he is
04:36Is this going to be a night in shining armour?
04:38A bit of a joker
04:39Oh
04:40Oh, he looks nice
04:41I'm no expert
04:42She don't like him
04:43Who can have fun with me
04:45Have great sense of humour
04:47And we're watching him laugh in slow motion
04:49To know that he's fun
04:51If he doesn't look like what I would usually go for
04:54Doesn't matter
04:55I'm going to be open-minded
04:56Will she though?
04:57Yeah
04:58I hope so
04:59I've always been the cute, nice guy
05:02Look at his dimples
05:04My friends would describe me as a cheeky chap
05:07Oh, he's a bad boy alright isn't he?
05:09Oh yeah
05:10I love to make sure people laugh and around me are having fun
05:13Go on Dean, yeah?
05:14He does seem like a nice guy
05:16He is
05:17He does seem like a nice guy
05:18You could take him home to your grandma
05:20You could
05:21He'd be a good plus one at a party
05:22I've been lucky enough to work in a variety of professions all based around entertainment
05:26I started years ago as a redcoat at Butlins
05:28He ain't got no bad boy in him at all
05:32Like, I'm telling you, which bad boy goes to Butlins?
05:35Also a jack of all trades, I do magic, I've done puppeteering
05:41What the hell?
05:42Oh, this is not for me
05:43Okay, he's lost me at puppet, sorry, I'm out
05:45I can do circus skills, singing, rapping
05:48He is Mr Entertainer
05:49Isn't he?
05:50I think he is what she needs
05:52Or what she thinks she wants
05:54Yeah
05:55But
05:56He's not
05:57No
05:58He's not going to be setting your undies on fire, love
06:00Do you know what I can say?
06:01Well, he might be as part of the magic act, but
06:03What?
06:06Wedding's eye
06:07Oh, God, I'm all nervous
06:12There he is
06:13Oh, look at him
06:14Oh, I love the dicky bow
06:19Hi
06:21Oh, friends are judging already
06:24He is definitely not Sarah's type
06:27Yes, we know that, we know that
06:29But she's going to be open and try something new
06:34Oh, Yumi, I know, I know
06:36He's going to love her
06:37She looks so beautiful in her dress
06:39Look at that
06:42There's the first look
06:45What's your name?
06:46Sarah
06:47What's your name?
06:48My name's Dean
06:49Dean
06:50Oh, I don't know
06:51Sarah seems happy
06:52As well
06:53Just her friends don't seem happy for her
06:54It started off good
06:55The personality is there
06:56I hope she's feeling the same
06:58Oh
06:59She can't look at her
07:00She's not looking at her
07:01She's not even looking at her
07:02Oh, no
07:04No, I don't fancy Dean
07:06Oh, no
07:07Oh, no
07:08But you don't have to fancy
07:09It's not all about
07:10Oh, sorry
07:11More to marriage than that
07:12Yeah
07:13Doesn't matter about look
07:1530 seconds ago
07:16There you go
07:18Sarah
07:19I don't know anything about you yet
07:21But I can't wait to discover all the idiosyncrasies that make you who you are
07:24Love that, Dean, man
07:26The what?
07:27Indiosyncrasies
07:29Indiosyncrasies
07:30Indiosyncrasies
07:31And there's something I've prepared
07:33Oh, I'm excited
07:34Oh, God
07:35Oh, dear
07:36No
07:37No
07:38If it's magic
07:39Stop now
07:40When I saw you in that dress today
07:42You did more than take my breath away
07:44Oh, no, it's a wrap
07:45No
07:46Oh, fucking no
07:48Stop
07:49All my fears
07:50Alleviate
07:51I know we're gonna be okay
07:53He's been a bad boy
07:54Come on
07:55What's up with you lot, man?
07:57Come on
07:58You think this is why man can't get it right?
08:00Why we're matched, we may not know
08:02Trust the experts and build a hope
08:04Oh, God
08:05Oh, God
08:06Like, what the hell?
08:07Are we still going?
08:09It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this
08:12Everybody sing with me
08:15No
08:16No
08:17No
08:18No
08:19Everybody sing with me
08:20When I say wed, you say ding
08:22Wed
08:23Wed
08:24Oh, for heaven's sake
08:25He's just the type of person that can't be embarrassed
08:28Like someone could pull his pants down at the altar
08:31Oh, yeah
08:32He just can't be shown up
08:33Yeah
08:34You never know, Jane
08:35Maybe
08:36He will grind her down and she'll start liking him
08:39You don't really want to grind someone down for them to begin to like you, do you, really?
08:44Well, that's always been my strategy, Jane
08:46I don't say
08:47I was going down now
08:49In Durham
08:52How have you settled into the new job, the nabs?
08:55It was so strange on Monday, Tuesday
08:58I felt like the new girl on the block
09:01And I know it was the same office, but I just felt like it was a different place completely
09:05Best friends, Abby and Georgia
09:08Anyway, by the end of the week, I did build up the confidence to say to Holly, who I sit next to
09:15Do you mind if I eat me ham sandwich next to you?
09:17Oh, no
09:18I'd say, yeah, go away
09:20Bearing in mind, it's only corn ham, so it doesn't smell or anything
09:24That's so funny
09:25Usually, I have an egg sandwich, though
09:27Oh, God
09:28Well, ask Holly about that next time
09:30And I got confident eating the egg sandwich in the finance department, but I thought I can't come first week with an egg sandwich
09:37I think give it a few months
09:38Maybe it's after Christmas
09:40On Monday night, the West Londoners were off on tour again on E4
09:44What would you drink if he was really posh and he was in Chelsea?
09:48I don't know if Kyle was El Grey, I think
09:51El Grey would be fine for me
09:53Why are we talking like this?
09:55I don't really know
09:56But people in Chelsea really have nice teeth
09:58Yeah, do we talk like this all the same?
10:00I don't think so
10:01You love this, don't you?
10:06Oh!
10:07In another life, I would be a Chelsea girl
10:09Well, yeah, see, that's what I was getting to
10:11I got a taxi home last night from King's Cross at about 11 o'clock
10:15And he drove all through Chelsea
10:17I thought it's a nice place to live, you know
10:19It's not too shabby
10:20Yeah, I didn't see any of these muppets
10:22You've never been to Tyreland?
10:28My friends Linda and Jackie have been there
10:30It's a hot spot, lots of steps
10:33I wouldn't recommend it
10:38Oh, I see, but at the kickboxing
10:40Oh, yeah
10:41Oh, I love a bit of boxing
10:42Yeah, it's really good
10:44That could be the reason there's a few pounds being put on
10:47It's because I'm not doing my boxer size
10:50Oh, it's starting to rhyme
10:56Have you ever picked you up and carried you?
10:59Look at me, no, I don't think so
11:03The only time that happened to me was when I drunkenly fell off the scooter in New York
11:09How was your night last night?
11:10Yeah, I had a fun night, I had a really fun night
11:12This is Freddy
11:13Good, I'm glad
11:14Until I saw something so sus
11:16What?
11:17What did you say that was suspect, love?
11:19What does sus mean?
11:20Suspicious
11:21Oh, everything's shortened nowadays
11:23Ollie had his hand on Bex's inner thigh
11:25Oh, no
11:26Do you know Freddy was going out with Bex?
11:28Yes
11:29Ollie and Freddy are best mates
11:30And Ollie's trying to get in there with Freddy's ex
11:34As if that's not bloody mate code, is it?
11:36I did see Bex and Ollie kiss
11:38Oh
11:40That
11:41Ollie wouldn't do that
11:42Well, he fucking has, pal
11:44He would
11:45He did, apparently
11:46Kiss more than once
11:47No, no, no
11:48But he's...
11:49He's told me...
11:50Oh, Freddy's actually upset
11:51Oh, God
11:52He feels betrayed
11:53Oh, mate, it's not nice news to hear
11:55I know exactly how you feel
11:57He's gutted, he's gonna faint
11:59Sorry, pal
12:01Tent
12:02He struck me about that as well
12:04He's fucking knocked me for six, sis
12:06Fuck him
12:08No, fuck him
12:09Fuck him
12:10Fuck him
12:11Fuck him
12:12They're like proper snogging each other on the beanbags
12:17Is that another word for prisms?
12:19Snogging each other on the beanbags?
12:21Beanbags
12:23Beanbags
12:24I'm sorry, I missed that
12:25Stop it
12:28How have you been feeling last, like, 24 hours? Are you okay?
12:30Um, I mean, obviously it's not ideal with the Freddy and I situation
12:34I've heard that he's pretty angry at me
12:37Fuming
12:38Yeah
12:39Me is
12:40Because you should've spoke to him first, you twit
12:42One on one, you start to sort of like them, ultimately me
12:46Oh, here we go
12:48Here we come
12:49Come on, Freddy
12:50Yes
12:51There's nothing really to worry about, as long as you just
12:56Oh
12:57Ooh
12:58What an entrance
12:59I'm living for this
13:01Ollie, you've outdone yourself, mate
13:03There's nothing more intimidating than a slow cat walking over
13:07What's up, Gene? You all right? How are you?
13:09Hi, Freddy
13:10Not only are you a gigantic bellend
13:13Oh!
13:14Gigantic bellend? Well, you can ask Bex about that, eh?
13:18A wallet
13:19Do you know what a bellend is?
13:20A what?
13:21He just said you're a gigantic bellend
13:23Never heard of it
13:24I fucking... I hate you, Ollie
13:26Oh!
13:27Would you go that far?
13:32I hate you
13:34Come here, no, come back and fucking deal with this like a mask
13:37If you're gonna talk to me like I'm a piece of shit
13:39Oh, oh, he's come back now
13:41He's coming back
13:42You're a piece of shit, Ollie
13:44Oh, he's shaking
13:46You are a piece of shit, Ollie
13:48I can't trust you
13:50We're never gonna be friends again
13:52I mean that wholeheartedly
13:53There is no coming back from this
13:55Ever
13:56Can't go where your mates' exes
13:58Whatever you did
13:59If you was in the same position
14:00Me and you broke up
14:01And then one of your best friends moves in on me
14:04I just say best of luck
14:06Thanks for that
14:07Ooh
14:08A bellend
14:09Okay, imagine a man's appendage
14:11Oh, yeah, okay
14:12Have you got it now?
14:13Yeah
14:14Okay, well that's a bellend
14:15If you call someone a bellend, it's the end of their knob
14:17I've never heard of that
14:18It's like a dickhead
14:19Oh, okay
14:20Must remember that bellend
14:22Yeah
14:23In Bristol
14:39Yo, man, let me never guess what I did
14:41What's that?
14:42I went to orchestra by candlelight
14:44Oh, I've been wanting to do that
14:46You?
14:47Yeah, I've changed
14:48Brothers Tremaine, Twain and Tristan
14:51I'm not gonna lie, I've changed
14:52Best experience I've experienced for a long while
14:55Wow
14:56Yeah, so I need to do that
14:57See, he's climbing mountains and he's doing orchestra by candlelight
15:00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
15:01This guy, bro, what up to you, blad?
15:02At 12.35, I've changed
15:06On Tuesday night, Waterloo Road opened up the school gates for a new term on BBC One
15:12Have you seen this before, Lee?
15:14Do you look like I used to watch it years ago?
15:16Yeah, I like it
15:17I would go back to high school tomorrow
15:19Would you?
15:20I loved every minute of it
15:21I think I would as well, you know
15:26John Richardson, is he the comedian?
15:28Not THE John Richardson
15:30Has he turned to acting now? Bloody hell
15:37I'll tell you what, if I actually went to school at Waterloo Road
15:39I'd get nothing done because I'd be that starstruck
15:42You know, I'd be like, that's Kim Marsh over there
15:44I know Kim Marsh taking English
15:45Yeah
15:46What's that on the Saints?
15:51Oh my God, is that drag?
15:52Who's sniffing before school?
15:53John Richardson?
15:54John Richardson?
15:55Is he taking something like that packet?
15:56To get him through the deal?
15:57Maybe, maybe
15:58But isn't it a blessing that neither you nor I is addicted to?
15:59Cocaine
16:00Cocaine
16:01Cocaine
16:02Cocaine
16:03Cetamine
16:04Or fentanyl
16:05Or the other stuff
16:06Skunk
16:07Mr. Donovan
16:08Hey, sorry you got that new starter look about you
16:09Is this his first day?
16:10Literally a high school teacher
16:11indirectly
16:20Mum, you don't get it, it's alright
16:21I've had no idea, honestly
16:22When you're ready, Mr Charles
16:23Is this the man in huddle?
16:33This is Darius Donovan
16:33İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
17:03İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
17:05Bu da, besleyicilerin!
17:07Darius isn'tip, is he?
17:09He doesn't seem amused, does he?
17:11Seemli bir heater.
17:12Ya.
17:15GERI SORAN
17:19GERI SORAN
17:21At school,
17:22No way!
17:24Oh my gosh.
17:25Mr. Todd's found the packet.
17:27Is that what I think it is?
17:28Yes, it is.
17:29Mr. Todd's teacher of the year,
17:31He's definitely going to snitch
17:33Yeah, I thought I'd seen things
17:36One of the kids must have dropped it
17:38Oh my God, he's blaming a kid
17:41Hi Mr. Todd
17:44He's put them in his pocket
17:46Well, because the pupils were going past
17:47He could hardly keep them in his hand
17:49If I was him, I'd be straight to the headmaster's office
17:52This is insane
17:54Can you see his mind going?
17:56I can get him fired and I'll be the North West best teacher
17:59Wow
18:00How has Darius got away with that as well?
18:04Hey, now that is the face of a teacher who's been here a few years
18:07Not a few hours
18:08I've just lost 30 quid at the fucking coke farm
18:11Do you know the expression
18:13Caught between a rock and a hard place?
18:17What's he going to say?
18:18What's he going to tell him?
18:20I saw Mr. Todd
18:22With drugs
18:26Oh, you horrible little quizling
18:29All because Mr. Todd's up for getting an award
18:32And he wants to be top dog round here
18:34He's taking Mr. Todd down
18:36Do you know what?
18:37Will you please just forget I said anything?
18:39Forget I said anything?
18:41How can you forget that?
18:42Look, I'll tell you what
18:44I'll keep your name out of it
18:45Cheers, pal
18:46You're a good one
18:47Oh, keep your name out of it
18:50Oh, that's what he wants
18:50Oh, thank God
18:52You played right into his hands
18:54He did, didn't he?
18:55Er, Mark, if you'd like to take a seat, please
18:57I wanted to see you, actually
18:59Is she going to speak to him about the drugs before he has the chance to tell her?
19:03Yes
19:03Mark, we've had a report that you've got drugs on you
19:06He does have drugs on him
19:08They're in his pocket, miss
19:10Yeah
19:10That's why I came to see you
19:12I found something
19:14Outside the loo's at lunch
19:16Oh, he's fucked
19:17Now he looks like he's lying
19:19Hang on
19:20You don't honestly think that that is mine?
19:23Oh, he's never going to get teacher of the year now
19:25So I'm going to score me off the premises?
19:27Given the severity of the accusation
19:29We have no option but to call the police
19:31The police?
19:31Oh, he's getting fucking nicked as well
19:34He was class I
19:36Poor bloke
19:37Oh, he's horrendous, Jane
19:39Do you know what?
19:41John plays a very convincing knobhead, doesn't he?
19:44It's a dark horse, he's John Richardson
19:46He's a man of many talents
19:48In Kent
19:51Who do you reckon is going to be the better driver out of you two?
19:53Oh, wow
19:54Oh, hands up, Harry's
19:55Oh, me, absolutely
19:56Michael, Sally and their sons Jake and Harry
20:00Why is it going to be you?
20:01Because I'm older, I'm more mature
20:03My brain, my frontal lobe is fully developed
20:06See, I'm going to prove to you right now
20:09Why I'm a better driver than Harry
20:10Harry, which one's left and right?
20:13That way
20:13Which one's left or right?
20:15You can't just point that way
20:16This week, our favourite wildlife filmmaker
20:20Was all at sea on Disney Plus
20:22Darling, dolphins up close
20:24Are you sure you want to watch that?
20:25I'm not sure that's the best idea with your past experience with dolphins
20:31I honestly think I must be the only person in the world that can comfortably say
20:35Not comfortably, actually
20:36But can truthfully say
20:38I was sexually assaulted by a dolphin
20:40Or a dolphin tried to sexually assault me
20:43It's probably the correct time
20:44Have you ever wanted to swim with dolphins?
20:49No, I can't swim
20:51I don't like getting my hair wet
20:53I'm sure last time we watched Bertie Gregory you said you fancied him
20:56Well, has he got a pulse?
20:57Yeah, can't I do?
21:05Look, this is the place you wanted to go to
21:08The Azores
21:09Yes
21:09It looks awful
21:10As a holiday destination
21:12Over the last ten years
21:14I've become completely obsessed with searching the ocean for epic gatherings of predators
21:19There is no way you would catch me anywhere near an epic gathering of predators
21:24No
21:24In wildlife film we call these a bait ball
21:26And they attract a group of predators that you've never otherwise see together
21:30A bait ball?
21:31So what's in the bait ball, I wonder?
21:32I know what a bait ball is
21:33What?
21:34It's where they school all them fish together, isn't it?
21:37This could be the most diverse gathering of predators I've ever filmed
21:41Well, I think we might learn something here, Rosie
21:45Well, I think we might, yes
21:46Because usually we avoid animals like the plague
21:49It's a bumpy two-hour journey to the remote seaman
21:53Good God
21:54Two hours of...
21:55This is more like it
22:01Here we go
22:03Oh, look, so we're seeing some activity, some wildlife
22:06Dolphins arrived
22:12Wow
22:12Oh, look at them all
22:14My goodness
22:14Oh, wow, that's amazing, actually
22:16That is, that would be lovely to see
22:17But we wouldn't want to be on the water doing that well
22:19The spotted and common dolphins try to herd the fish
22:23Look at the beautiful markings on them
22:26I'm triggered
22:27Circling the school, the predators tighten their grip
22:32There's the ball!
22:33It's literally a ball!
22:34It's literally a ball!
22:35Look at how they move!
22:37They're trying to get out of the way
22:38But something has spooked the dolphins
22:42Oh, shit, what happened?
22:44Oh, what's that, no
22:45Oh, here we go
22:46The apex predators come in
22:48Blue sharks
22:49Oh, my goodness
22:52See, that is why you won't catch me in the sea
22:55That shark has played an absolute blinder
23:03Yeah, but he's just got 150 dolphins
23:05400 birds to do his work
23:07And now he's just going to clean up that shell
23:09His cum, he's eaten all the food
23:12And then he's buggered off
23:13This is, you are the shark
23:15But the feast isn't over
23:18The dolphins are back for one final showdown
23:22Oh, here we go
23:23Oh, they've come back
23:24Come on, dolphins
23:25Come on
23:25You can do it
23:26Get your ball back
23:27The bait ball is tossed upwards
23:30Does that mean the birds can eat it then?
23:34Yeah, nowhere to go
23:35Down come the shearwaters
23:38Oh, look at that lot!
23:40This is insane!
23:43Diving to more than 50 feet
23:45What the friggin' hell?
23:49This doesn't look real
23:50I don't think it is
23:51And it's not over yet
23:54What else can happen?
23:58Who's this now?
23:59The commotion draws the attention of a minkey whale
24:02Ooh, a minkey whale
24:06A minkey whale
24:08Oh!
24:12Straight through the middle
24:13He ate lots there in
24:18You greedy bastard
24:19Tough day to be a fish
24:22Yeah
24:22I am not trying to get in the ocean
24:25And swim with no dolphins
24:26Why?
24:27It looks too scary
24:28But you've got all them bikinis, man
24:31That you're taking to St Vincent with you
24:33They ain't for the dolphins, Mum
24:34Who are they for?
24:38Glow the air!
24:39In Leeds
24:49I was fuming when I got here
24:51And Toby were parked in my car parking spot
24:53Well, I did say to him
24:55You know, Ellie's going to be madly inconvenienced
24:57And she's going to have to walk five more steps
24:58To get to my front door
24:59And she ain't going to be happy about it
25:00Yeah?
25:01And he went
25:01Well, I don't care
25:03Sisters Ellie and Izzy
25:05Do you know what?
25:06I said
25:07I actually did confront him about it
25:09And then he did offer to move his car
25:10And put my car there
25:12But I said, no
25:13No point now
25:14Damage is done
25:15Damage is done, yeah
25:16But I thought
25:17Do you know what?
25:18Nat would never do that
25:19He just wouldn't do it, would he?
25:24And I thought
25:25Do you know what Toby is?
25:26Selfish
25:27I knew you were going to say that
25:28On Saturday night
25:30A couple of familiar faces
25:32Were back together again
25:33On ITV1
25:34We cup of this time
25:36Oh, lovely
25:37Thank you so much
25:38I feel terrible
25:39I'm just sitting down here
25:40Thank you
25:41Do you want some of this?
25:42Oh, yeah, please
25:43What are you looking at the side of it?
25:44That one
25:45Ah!
25:50This is win-win
25:52No, this is, don't you?
25:53No, what is it?
25:54New melon soup
25:55Ooh
25:56The bath
25:58Oh, them in business
26:03The power walking
26:04I tell you what
26:05I bet these two are glad
26:07They've been chucked to bone
26:08Yeah
26:08You've not seen them really
26:10Together since Bake Off
26:11Yeah, quite sad actually
26:13It's more like a reunion
26:14This really, isn't it?
26:14It is, yeah
26:15In the programme
26:17Mel and Sue were looking for answers
26:19Based on what a survey had said
26:21Question three is upon us
26:22Here it is
26:23Okay
26:23Okay
26:24Which of these unhygienic things
26:28Have the most number of Brits done
26:31Oh, no
26:31Oh, no
26:32This is going to be totally triggering for me
26:34I can't cope
26:35Not brush their teeth for a day
26:38How could you not brush their teeth for the tea?
26:40Well, I'm
26:41Not
26:42Because I have to put mine in
26:46Pee'd in the shower
26:50Pop someone else's spots
26:53Oh, no
26:54Done all of them
26:55The answer is
26:58Pee'd in the shower
27:01You do it as well, Bathon
27:03I've never done it
27:04Bathon does it in the bath
27:05According to our survey
27:09What's the most common tattoo design
27:12Among Brits
27:13A sheep
27:14I don't think so
27:16It's either tribal bar wire
27:18Sweetie pie
27:20Or a dolphin above the navel
27:21Yeah
27:21Butterfly
27:22Dragon
27:23Loved one's name
27:24I've got a butterfly
27:25You know, I've just got my brothers and sisters' names there
27:28Butterfly
27:29Butterfly
27:30Apparently all girls
27:31I've got one at the top of their back bottoms
27:34All girls of a certain age
27:36Really?
27:37Yeah
27:37The answer is
27:39Butterfly
27:41A butterfly?
27:43Butterfly
27:43Oh, my God
27:44What's wrong with people?
27:46I'm common
27:47No shock there
27:47No shock there
27:48Yeah
27:49No shock there
27:50Two best studio players will now face one final question
27:53To win that cash card
27:56And that, to remind everybody, is loaded with 25,000 smackaroos
28:00Oh, I could just do with that right now
28:02You see, this is wrong
28:03Because it's making Britons think that if you go on a game show
28:07You'll win money rather than working for it
28:10So we ask the nation
28:11Which physical attribute do you find most attractive in other people?
28:16Great game, this, isn't it?
28:18Elbows, 100%
28:20Personality
28:20Oh, physical
28:21Good bomb
28:22Clean fingernail
28:23Nice skin
28:23Height
28:24Good posture
28:25Not asked about hair
28:27Or eyes
28:28They don't need any of them
28:29Legs
28:30You're just saying yours
28:32Yeah
28:33Based on a survey
28:35What first attracted you to Percy, Sarah?
28:38Beautifully shaped hands
28:40James, you did best in that round
28:42So you're going to go first
28:43What are you thinking?
28:45I'll go for smile
28:46Teeth
28:46Hair
28:47Hair
28:48Smile
28:51Right
28:52Smile
28:53Graham, what are you going to go with?
28:55I always used to look at bums
28:57I'd probably say good teeth
29:01Yeah, he's got good teeth
29:03He's got good teeth
29:04They're talking about themselves
29:05They're talking about selling themselves
29:08Is James' smile going to be higher or lower than Graham's teeth?
29:12Do you think it's higher?
29:13Let's have a look
29:14Smile and good teeth are the same thing
29:16They are not the same thing
29:17Oh, smile number one
29:25And he's smiling now, isn't he James?
29:28He's smiling like this
29:29Well done, James
29:34Do you know what?
29:35That's what it's all about for me
29:36Seeing somebody who's gone on there
29:38Had a go and they've won a nice couple of quid
29:40Exactly
29:41Nothing too taxing, neither
29:42Yeah
29:43Warms the cockles of my heart
29:45Yeah
29:45Lovely
29:47And it's nice to see Mel and Sue
29:49You know, are back at the trough
29:51Yeah
29:52Inca Philly
29:55You've bought a quiche, haven't you?
29:57What's in there?
29:58Amok
29:59Is it Amok, is it?
30:00Yeah
30:00You had that on the plane
30:02Oh, would you love that?
30:04Yeah
30:04But you had bechamel sauce and all
30:06I took that off with the paper
30:07Dave and his wife, Shirley
30:09It didn't say bechamel sauce
30:12It said mature cheddar in with the hock
30:16And then on top, more cheddar
30:18I read it
30:20I read it
30:20No, I read it
30:22No
30:22In the in-flight
30:23No
30:23Coffee
30:24No, it didn't
30:25It said a mature cheddar
30:28With ham, hock
30:30No
30:30And bechamel sauce
30:31No, it didn't
30:32On Friday night
30:34There was exciting news for wannabe spooks on ITV
30:38Oh, you said stop you, Sean
30:41You're on a diet
30:41Don't do it
30:42Back away from the donut, Sean
30:44Are there any biscuits to go with that plate?
30:46Hey, love
30:50What's that for?
30:52Oh, you'll be going home soon
30:53Or now
30:54I'm not going home yet
30:56I'm going to watch the news
30:57Bloody shift
30:59Oh, do you know
31:00What you don't have to make me feel welcome, you
31:02Where's my coat?
31:04You'll be giving me that next
31:05Oh, no, don't bother
31:06I'm not going
31:07It was good and bad news today
31:10For anyone hoping to become an MI6 spy
31:13Oh, haven't they found your CV yet?
31:14No, they haven't found my application
31:16I put it in
31:17I put it in yesterday
31:18On the one hand
31:20The agency's opened up a new recruitment site for applications
31:24Oh, you're going to play
31:25Would you fancy that?
31:27Yes
31:28On the other
31:28It can only be found on the dark web
31:31Oh, what's that?
31:32So can you not find it on LinkedIn?
31:34No
31:34Notorious as a hive of insidious and incriminating websites
31:39I thought the dark web was for buying gums and things like that
31:42It's the first test of MI6
31:44Ah
31:44Find us on the dark web
31:46That's really clever
31:47I bet you could get on the dark web using your new VPN that you got to watch telly abroad
31:52I don't know how to get on
31:55I use it for legitimate reasons
31:58Of course, it's really aimed at aspiring agents in hostile states like Russia and North Korea to get in touch
32:06So they're trying to get spies from different countries to tell us their secrets
32:10But I'm not being funny
32:12Why are they going to want to tell us?
32:13Ain't that putting them in mortal danger?
32:16It could be
32:16But if you get paid enough, who cares?
32:20MI6's latest recruitment drive is via a dedicated portal on the dark web
32:25I might go on the dark web
32:27Tonight
32:28Where is the dark web anyway?
32:32Have I got it on my computer?
32:34I don't know, I don't know, I've never done it
32:36Our appeal today is not to Russians alone
32:38Anyone, anywhere in the world with access to sensitive information
32:43Oh yeah, I can really see the Taliban logging in from the hills above Afghanistan going
32:49I'll sign up for the MI6 website
32:52Relating to terrorism or hostile intelligence activity
32:55Can use the new portal to contact MI6
32:59So this is like snitch book
33:01So basically, it's a website where you can go and snitch on your country
33:05And not be traced
33:07Surely they could just do it on
33:08Not on dark web
33:10They could do it on normally
33:11We'll set up a Facebook group
33:12Yeah
33:13MI6 are now using social media platforms to also attract new recruits
33:18What's the difference between MI5 and MI6?
33:21One
33:21One number
33:24What do you mean?
33:26Can you just like work in the canteen at MI6?
33:28Do you have to go through the dark web to get a job there as well, sir?
33:31Maybe
33:32Yeah
33:33This bab tastes like Novichok
33:36In Hull
33:47Can you hear me breathing?
33:49I'm a bit chesty today
33:50Do you know I sit a ring?
33:52Go to shop and get me some Maluga honey
33:54I've got some lemon and a bottle of lemonade
33:57Best friends Jenny and Lee
33:59The phone rings
34:00Jenny!
34:02What?
34:03I'm at the honey
34:05How will I hear?
34:08I said, what do you mean how will I hear?
34:10He said, well the Maluga honey is £14.95
34:13And the next one down is £3.95
34:15I'm just asking you how will I hear?
34:18What did you say?
34:19Not very well
34:20I just went
34:21£3.95
34:22Just get the £3.95
34:23£14 quid
34:26I've never heard of what's it called
34:27Yeah, Maluga
34:28Where's it from?
34:30Tesco's
34:31On Sunday night
34:34We took to the skies
34:35For a nail-biting ride
34:37On that geo
34:38Finally Julie
34:39Summit from here now
34:40Top Guns
34:41Right down my street this
34:43I've been out in light aircraft
34:45Getting flown around
34:46It's the bollocks
34:47You did one flying lesson
34:49Exactly
34:49I've got the taste for it
34:51I'm looking forward to this
34:55Jane
34:56Top Guns
34:56The next generation
34:58I mean you think you're bloody Tom Cruise
35:00Don't you really?
35:01You're as short as him
35:02I'm taller than him
35:04That's where the resemblance finishes really
35:06There's at least an inch and a half
35:08Between me and him
35:09My name is Austin Claggett
35:12I'm the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps
35:15Hi Austin
35:15He looks like an Austin
35:17An all-American jock
35:18Austin is a good name for a fighter pilot
35:20I don't know about Claggett
35:22Yeah
35:22My family definitely knows me as Crazy Austin
35:26Crazy Austin? Bloody hell
35:29Not Crazy Claggett then
35:30That'd be better
35:31Crazy Claggett's much better
35:33I'll just do the things that no one else would dare do
35:37I mean you pretty much have to be a bit of a nutter
35:39Don't you to do this?
35:40Yeah
35:41I think Austin is confident enough to get his wings you know
35:45He can talk the talk
35:46But we've got to see whether he can walk the walk
35:48Oh, going straight into bombing
35:54Jesus
35:55This is where they've got to go in close to the target
35:57Release the bomb
35:58Then pull out to the dive or whatever
36:00This takes a bit of balls this too
36:03You need them
36:03For this dry run
36:04It's all about staying calm and in control
36:07Well, I couldn't do that, could you?
36:09Could you stay calm and be in control?
36:11Well, I won't be in control, that's for certain
36:12I'm nervous now and I'm just on the couch
36:14Last to perform the manoeuvre is Austin
36:17Come on, Austin
36:17You've got this, Austin
36:19Isn't that what people say now, Mary?
36:22Yes
36:22Here he goes
36:26Oh, my stomach's going, man
36:29He's going in now
36:32Fucking hell, it's a bit lively this, isn't it, fella?
36:37He's breathing hard, isn't he?
36:39Oh, my God
36:40That would be actually quite terrifying
36:41That was the first time that I've been scared
36:47Oh, he's having a little wobbly
36:48Because he's heading towards the ground
36:50At a meteoric rate
36:52He's thinking, fuck
36:54Quite the sobering experience that I've had
36:57Hard pull, hard pull
37:01You've got to pull up now, Austin
37:02No, you've got to pull up now, Austin
37:04Come on, Austin, you need to pull up
37:05Oh, my days
37:08This is nuts
37:09Can you imagine going down that quick?
37:11Yeah
37:11And then, whoo
37:12Bit like the big dipper at Black Pole, isn't it, really?
37:15No
37:16Well, a bit like it
37:17No
37:18After the dry run
37:20Austin had to do the manoeuvre again
37:22Whilst dropping a bomb on a target
37:25They need to release their bombs precisely at the right moment
37:28See, how do you know when the right moment is?
37:31They need to pull up sharply
37:32Before they reach the altitude limit of 3,000 feet
37:35Ah
37:35Because they can't go any lower than that
37:37That's correct, yeah
37:38That's the hard deck
37:39Yeah, the point of no return
37:42Here we go
37:46Oh, God, this is the real thing now, Lee, innit?
37:48Hold your nerve now, son
37:49Come on, Bert
37:50He's coming down
37:51You're going too low
37:55Up, up, up
37:57He's got...
37:57Well, he's hit the target
38:01He's off
38:02But he's broken the deck
38:04Out of the chode
38:04No, did he fuck it?
38:07It went under the 3,000
38:08No, Austin
38:09If we go low again
38:11We're going home
38:13Oh, he's going home
38:14He's got one more chance, Lee
38:16One more chance
38:17It must be really twitchy now
38:18Don't you think?
38:21Heading 1-1-5
38:22It's coming in hot again
38:245,000
38:245,000
38:25Don't go too low
38:26Slow it down
38:273,000
38:313,000
38:32Oh, he's near the mark
38:33Oh, go on
38:34You're nearly there
38:34You're nearly there
38:35Go for it
38:36Now
38:36He's done it again
38:41No
38:42Oh, he's...
38:43Oh, no
38:44He's fucking gone low again
38:46He's got a bullseye
38:52Yeah, what a fucking low altitude
38:54Oh, my God
38:55That's so unfair
38:56It's actually quite heartbreaking
38:57Because he's done one perfectly
38:58Not the other
38:59We're going home
39:00That's up
39:02So, Austin's out
39:07He's absolutely messed it up
39:08Oh
39:09Oh, Phil
39:10I was like that three times
39:12For my driving, listen
39:13That's the first time
39:14Well, yeah, you shouldn't have done
39:15But out of it, that'll tell you now
39:16If that were me
39:17I'd take failure
39:18Really, really personally
39:20I'd have dealt with it horribly
39:21And I'd have made a big scene
39:23I'd have ruminated and talked about it
39:25For the next six months
39:26Every day
39:26Six months?
39:28Six years?
39:29You'd be unbearable
39:30In Leeds
39:34Your eyebrows look really good
39:36I know
39:37My first ever tattoo
39:38And it's my eyebrows
39:39I want to touch it
39:40You can?
39:40That's really good, isn't it?
39:43It adds character to your face
39:44Best friends Danielle and Daniela
39:47What do you mean?
39:48I don't know
39:48Do you look like
39:49What, like a cartoon character?
39:51No
39:51Oh
39:52Like, you know
39:53I don't know
39:54Can you just say something nice, please?
39:56It is nice
39:57When you say
39:58When you give people compliments
39:59You always tend to stutter
40:01Because it's so unnatural for you
40:03That you're like
40:05It looks nice
40:07This week
40:08Our favourite bunch of bad spies
40:10Were back on Apple TV Plus
40:12Here we are, Julian
40:13Some proper talent
40:14Who would have dreamt
40:15We'd be living
40:17Long enough
40:17To see another episode
40:19I tell you
40:24Who could have been in MI5
40:26Who?
40:26Becky Potter and Sinead
40:28Yeah
40:28They were queen at FBI's, weren't they?
40:31Queen of the FBI's
40:32Drive-by, yeah
40:33Drive-by FBI
40:34Social media stalk
40:36On your man's Netflix
40:37All they'd need is a first name
40:39That'd be it
40:40And a location
40:41Oh, here we go
40:45Shh, shh, shh
40:46Jane, shh
40:46I haven't said a word
40:47It started
40:48This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
40:52It does
40:52Why is it dodgy?
40:56Hello
40:56What did he get out of that van then?
40:58Can I give you a poster for the window?
41:00Oh, the bank doesn't let us be political
41:01It's set him sat down on that bench there, innit?
41:03Well, he's got a bag
41:04Morning
41:05Hope Mayor Jaffrey can count on your vote
41:08Oh, I have a feeling he's barking up the wrong tree here
41:10Oh, lovey
41:11Read the room
41:12But Mayor Jaffrey offers hope
41:14Whereas
41:14What's he getting out of his bag?
41:17Gimbal wants to make run to
41:18Holy shit
41:19Oh, fucking hell
41:20That's a tool and a half
41:21Chitter brick, man
41:23What are you?
41:24Get on the floor
41:25Get on the floor
41:26Oh, shit
41:29Blood
41:29It's killing everybody
41:36Can you imagine?
41:37No
41:38Oh, I knew it
41:41I knew he was going to get
41:42I was going to say to you
41:43I'd better get shot in a minute
41:44What the fuck is happening?
41:47Sorry, did you see the blood coming out of his head?
41:49Who's he?
41:54Eh?
41:55That was the same van he got the gun out of
41:57Somebody's definitely got him to do all that shooting and then killed him
42:00Oh, Slow Horse's IT guy, what's his name?
42:08Roddy
42:08You look like a right knobhead going through town like that
42:14You have lean cosmeto
42:15No wonder you want the good as a spy
42:17Oh, that's a great star, mate
42:23Bloody hell, you nearly got clint
42:25I know
42:25God, it's that van again
42:28That's the van that we're doing in shootings
42:30It is
42:30What the fuck?
42:32Well, surely she's a slow horse as well
42:34Oh, so his team mate has just saved his life
42:36Yeah, and I think thank you is a word that, you know, Roddy should be looking for
42:39Witnesses describe the shooter as using a shotgun or a rifle
42:43Oh, here he is
42:44Like, eating in some greasy spoon watching the telly
42:48Having a bit of breakfast
42:49Typical
42:49God, why are you mistaking this for my office?
42:52Well, you're also not welcome
42:54Ha ha ha ha ha
42:55Oh, pleasant as ever, lamb
42:57Someone nearly ran ho over
42:58Good for them, fuck off
43:00It was deliberate
43:02They drove straight at him
43:03So, Shirley thinks that someone's trying to do a hit on Roddy
43:06Where did it happen?
43:07Fan street
43:07No cameras, suspicious in itself
43:09It's what you call suss
43:11White transit van heading east
43:13Surely we should at least try and track it
43:15See, Shirley's spider senses are tingling here
43:18Yeah, and she's on the right lines
43:20Yeah
43:20Trust your gut
43:22Are you going to take this seriously?
43:24I'm glad you asked me that
43:25No, are you going to take this seriously?
43:27Fuck off
43:28Oh my God, there's lots of fucks in this, Lee, ain't there
43:31He's wanting nothing serious
43:32No, I know
43:33A bit later, concerned for his safety
43:36River and Shirley had followed Roddy to a nightclub
43:39This is one of your scenes, Rosalyn, isn't it?
43:45Ha ha ha ha
43:46It's very similar to somewhere I would go to, yes
43:49They're not playing any pet shop boys, Tracer
43:51No, I know
43:52I wouldn't like to go in that nightclub
43:53No, Duran Duran
43:54He's cutting some moves or do you call it shapes?
44:01Ha ha ha
44:02Shapes, darling, shapes
44:03She's seeing something like
44:09What's going on?
44:10What's going on?
44:11What's going on?
44:11Oh, shit, I'm in
44:14Hang on a minute, it's at work
44:15Ah, no
44:18What the hell?
44:19What the fuck are you playing at?
44:22You two out
44:23Oh, they're going to be getting asked to leave
44:25They're having their shoulders fell
44:26Don't lose them, Shirley
44:30Bullseye
44:33Roddy's gone off in his Prius
44:35So
44:37Is tonight the night?
44:41Is tonight the night?
44:42When to become one
44:45Oh, hey, Spice Girls
44:47Oh
44:47Oh, I'll have to remember that pick-up line
44:50No, Sian, don't
44:51It's a bit cringe
44:52You know I really want to, huh?
44:54Mm
44:54But I have to be
44:56I'm pretty early and
44:57And I want it to be special
44:58Oh, Roddy
45:00You've been strung along, buddy
45:01She's not genuinely in this, is she?
45:04No
45:04Oh, God, she's having you on
45:09That's a good tactic
45:10If you don't want to snog
45:11Just put all your fingers in the mouth
45:13That's weird, wasn't it?
45:20Yeah
45:20That was really weird
45:22I think he's ugly
45:23She don't like him at all, look
45:27Oh, hang on, something's going on
45:30HE GASPS
45:33He's heading into his flat
45:35Oh
45:35See what fuck's on this face?
45:41That's definitely a honey trap
45:43She's double-crossed him
45:45When was the last time you went to a nightclub?
45:49Germany
45:492023
45:52Seriously?
45:55Yeah
45:55Cologne
45:57Oh, yeah, Jane
45:59Oh, were you with the little people, though?
46:01Yes
46:02And the German hardcore dancers
46:04Right, so it's not really a nightclub nightclub, is it?
46:11It was a nightclub, we just happened to have taken over
46:13It was a safe nightclub then
46:16Not with me on the dance floor
46:20Oh, God
46:20They have had an E4 skinful
46:28And you can too
46:29Pucker up and stream Made in Chelsea any old time
46:32And don't get FOMO, I already have
46:35MAPS UK is back
46:36Stream now
46:37Remember, brand new Epps come Thursday to Sunday at 9 on E4
46:41Mitchell and Webb aren't helping next
46:44Comedy, and they're bound to be some wigs
46:46Comedy, and they're bound to be some wigs
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