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FunTranscript
00:00Pitch.
00:04Star is gone.
00:05I feel a little responsible and a little guilty,
00:09but also a little like, ooh.
00:11At least you're not coming back in the work
00:13and we're going to be mad at me.
00:14I'm so heartbroken right now.
00:16I don't deserve to be here, but I look so pussy.
00:21Just know I will always be a star.
00:24P.S. Van, you owe me, sis.
00:27God.
00:28I'm her buddy.
00:30I'm feeling a lot of adrenaline from the lip sync,
00:32a lot of anger, a lot of heartbreak for Star.
00:36I'm like definitely in my feels right now
00:38and I need to let some things out.
00:40Wow, wow, wow, wow.
00:42Oh, low Keisha, no shade.
00:44I'm gagged you weren't in the bottom.
00:46I'm surprised by that choice.
00:48It was like an impossible choice
00:49because I think Caramel, like you did better
00:52in the challenge for sure.
00:53I looked at the competition overall
00:55and I thought that Velma had a better track record.
00:58Ultimately, I choose to save Velma
01:00and this is a strategic move, I have to be honest.
01:02Who's going to be able to help me long term?
01:05And I feel like that person is Velma.
01:07I'm a little pissed off.
01:08I was kind of gagged in that moment
01:09because I do feel like I did better in the challenge.
01:12The way you did the challenge bombed what you did before.
01:17In my opinion, I just felt like I should have been saved.
01:19I just feel like it's fake as fuck and I'm not here for it.
01:23Looking at the fact that like almost every girl in here
01:25said that they would save me,
01:27I was really shocked that you chose Velma.
01:30At the end of the day, the judges said that you were shut down.
01:33Your look was good also like me.
01:35It was not like that clear.
01:36I do think my critiques were better.
01:38Like they said they laughed.
01:40Well, they laughed at the same joke.
01:41They said that you weren't funny though.
01:42They said they didn't laugh at anything.
01:44I just think Velma's bullshit.
01:45Are we in the same room?
01:47Are we hearing the same thing?
01:48Like, is your brain not working?
01:50You like didn't get any laughs like they said you weren't funny.
01:53It's okay, no problem.
01:54Everybody is shocked.
01:56Everybody thought that it would be caramel.
01:59This is something that I will remember forever.
02:02So what was your decision, Ben?
02:04I'll be the first one to say it.
02:06I think Star's a threat.
02:07So I was like, what's the point of saving her?
02:10I think I can read PM better than I can read Star.
02:14I don't know what Star's gonna do.
02:16And I just wasn't willing to take that risk.
02:18Caramel, I'm just so happy you won with no makeup on.
02:21That part, that part.
02:25Not even a lick of eyeshadow.
02:27Just bare face with a wig.
02:29I know this week is controversial, but I do feel a little...
02:36But I think it's time to get out of drag.
02:39Yes, please.
02:40Let's not fucking get out of drag.
02:42Season six is playing the game.
02:44The beaver's making me feel crazy because I don't know how it's going to be played.
02:49No one's sticking to, like, the previous seasons where it was boring and their, like, track record.
02:53You got it?
02:54You can't bet on an alliance.
02:57I don't believe anyone's actually going to stay true to their world.
03:00Go, go, go, go, go!
03:02The winner of Canada's Drag Race receives $100,000.
03:08With Tracy Melshore, Carson Kressley, and Brooklyn Heights.
03:14With extra special guest judge, Alyssa Edwards.
03:21It's a new day in the workroom, and the target on my back has just grown bigger.
03:29So I gotta make sure that I'm still in that top spot so none of these girls can try to ask me.
03:34We made it another week.
03:35Yes!
03:36We got some wins on the board now.
03:40I have a win.
03:41Salty has a win.
03:42Van Gogh's got two wins.
03:43I'm coming up right next.
03:45Yes!
03:46Now listen here.
03:47One half of the Scissor Sisters already got her wins.
03:49So it's my turn to snip, snip, snip, snip my way up to the top.
03:54I really didn't have a good week.
03:55I know it was a fiasco.
03:57I don't know how to land a plane.
03:59It's really important that I bounce back,
04:01because of course they're gonna eat me alive if it's not the case.
04:06Hey, buddy!
04:07Do you remember being an alliance, female alliance?
04:11I don't recall talking about an alliance.
04:13It's a record.
04:14There's no record.
04:16Oh, it's me dead.
04:17Of course.
04:18The girls are over here.
04:19Oh, yes.
04:20Of course.
04:21If I'm on the top, I'll save you.
04:22If they're in the bottom and vice versa.
04:24Girl, Vemma got me goofed up this morning.
04:27In all tea, I low-key had an alliance with Star.
04:30That's not true.
04:31Stop it.
04:33Dirty Alliance Laundry is being aired.
04:35Girl, I saw an opportunity and I took it.
04:38Well, I appreciate you taking that opportunity.
04:41I know I had a floppy on a week.
04:43I am not delusional, but I did walk my ass off on the runway.
04:47Yes, you did.
04:48After my sister Hazel didn't have my back twice.
04:51Here we go.
04:52First doesn't let me choose and then he says I should get in the bottom.
04:56I am ready to let Hazel have it.
04:59I just want to shake them a little bit and also let them know that they shouldn't have done what they did.
05:04So what I'm seeing is these alliances that y'all made don't mean anything.
05:08Don't mean anything.
05:09Don't mean anything.
05:10Don't mean anything.
05:11This table chat is so revealing.
05:14These bitches have no integrity at all.
05:18And that's okay because I know that I'm looking out for myself now.
05:22Oh, here we go.
05:23Oh, Canada.
05:24Seen it already than had her.
05:25Hey, page turners.
05:26Hey.
05:27There's nothing I love more than a nice hard cover.
05:28So grab your reading glasses and don't forget to follow the rubric.
05:42Hello.
05:43Hello.
05:44Hello.
05:45Hello.
05:46Hello.
05:47Hello.
05:48Hello.
05:49Hello.
05:50I'm getting so good at being Canadian.
05:53They're good at that.
05:54Now you all look amazing, but every queen can use a little help.
05:58Lucky for you in today's mini challenge, I'll be holding one-on-one styling sessions.
06:03Hey.
06:04We'll talk all things fashion, and in the end, I'll select my style superstar on the rise.
06:10So take 10 minutes to slip into D-list fashionista quick drag.
06:14Okay.
06:15Then meet me in my atelier, and I'll decide if you're a red flag or red carpet royalty.
06:20Ooh.
06:21Can I get a yes and?
06:22Yes and.
06:23Can I get a yes and Murray?
06:26Yes and Murray.
06:28On your marks, get set, pose.
06:31Oh, yeah!
06:33Yeah!
06:34Go, go, go!
06:35Ah!
06:36Ah!
06:37Oh, my God!
06:39This is crazy.
06:41First mini challenge of the season, and I've never done quick drag before.
06:46We'll see how it looks.
06:50Oh, you better, bitch.
06:52I'm here.
06:53Ah!
06:54Good to see me, isn't it?
06:55I put on my finest pigeon coat, my wine-stained tube top dress, and I am ready to get this fashion
07:10consultation on the go.
07:11I'm so excited to be here.
07:13Thank you so much.
07:14I'm a big fan of yours.
07:15Oh, my God.
07:16Did you catch me in RuPaul's Roller Boogie 47?
07:19I saw 48.
07:20I skipped 47.
07:21I probably need to see that.
07:22You do.
07:23I was server number three.
07:24Let me see the top of your head.
07:25Oh, my God.
07:26Yes, I remember that scene.
07:27Yes, yes.
07:28Can I come in?
07:29Abs, I wish you would.
07:30I'm coming in.
07:31Okay, thank you so much.
07:34My agent sent me here because apparently I need some style help.
07:38Oh, girl, look at you.
07:40Oh, gosh.
07:41What have you been up to lately?
07:43I haven't seen you in a minute.
07:44Oh, my God.
07:45I did a commercial for a laxative.
07:47Oh, okay.
07:48It was explosive.
07:49I auditioned on American Idol.
07:50Oh, you did?
07:51Yeah.
07:52It didn't air, though.
07:53Look at you.
07:54You're like some kind of glamour leprechaun.
07:55Exactly.
07:56My name is Patricia.
07:57Pat, if you're nasty.
07:59You have seen me in the magazines, Carson.
08:02Oh, okay.
08:03This nose knows no boundaries.
08:06I won Miss Lobster Roll 2004 in Shizyak.
08:10That's how I know you.
08:11I knew you knew me from somewhere.
08:13And how would you describe your style in three words?
08:16I think I would do skinny for sure.
08:18It would be the first one.
08:19Punk out of bed.
08:21Punk out of bed.
08:23Cheat.
08:24That's five words.
08:25This is my new pigeon coat.
08:26Pigeon is very in right now.
08:27Is it?
08:28It is, yeah.
08:29Okay.
08:30Baby, this is chicken feathers from our own coop.
08:33Okay.
08:34It's farm to closet.
08:35Oh, yes.
08:36Oh, right.
08:37I mean, your bosoms are, um, I feel like they're coming out.
08:40They're coming out?
08:41That might be something we can work on.
08:42I need some style help.
08:44Is this beaver?
08:45It's actually my back hair.
08:47It is.
08:48Yeah.
08:49I thought, take it off the back and put it on the front.
08:50Put your thing down and flipped it and reversed it.
08:52I loved it.
08:53I love that shoe.
08:54Oh, yeah, thanks.
08:55The shoe matches always, Carson.
08:56You're so flexible to rich.
08:59That's what gets me the covers.
09:00Uh, what do you think of my outfit?
09:02I do like your, uh, your pocket handkerchief.
09:05Oh, thank you.
09:06Yes.
09:07The pocket square.
09:08Oh, I love a pocket square.
09:09It looks like a triangle to me.
09:11I know.
09:12I know.
09:13Who cares about geometry?
09:14I think people are having sex in that window behind us.
09:16Oh, hold on.
09:17Let me see.
09:18Let me see.
09:19Oh, my gosh.
09:20Look at them.
09:21Oh, my God.
09:22I just love love.
09:23I know.
09:24All right.
09:25We'll just try to avert our eyes.
09:26For some of your favorite style influencers.
09:28I think her name's Melinda Verga.
09:30Melinda Verga.
09:31Melinda Verga.
09:32Oh, what an interesting choice.
09:34Brooklyn Heights.
09:35Really?
09:36I saw those lace eyebrows, and I just needed some of them myself.
09:40You see that right there?
09:41I'll lift up them.
09:42Wow.
09:43Oh, wow.
09:44They look so real.
09:45Oh, thank you.
09:46I think you're hypnotizing me.
09:47Oh, my goodness.
09:48I think you are an amazing astrophysicist.
09:54One sec, one sec.
09:55Let me flap it out of you.
09:56Oh.
09:57Oh, wow.
09:58God, I feel...
09:59What just happened?
10:00We should probably see you do a little runway walk.
10:03I am a little sore from last night, so I'll try my best.
10:05Oh, God.
10:06Did you fall?
10:07No, I just had too much food.
10:08Oh, look at that.
10:09Over here.
10:11Oh, God.
10:12Oh, goodness.
10:13Chiropractor.
10:14Faster.
10:15Faster.
10:16Faster.
10:17Turn.
10:18And a little jog.
10:19A light jog.
10:20A light jog.
10:21Oh, yeah, that's good.
10:22Oh, yes.
10:23Lead with the knees.
10:24I remember this from Moncton Fashion Week.
10:27And that is the actual lobster roll.
10:30Mm-hmm.
10:32That's so unique.
10:33I walked like that once after a week in Barbados.
10:36Okay.
10:37Okay.
10:38My spoons came out.
10:39Oh, my God.
10:40Where were those?
10:41This is when I lost Mr. Lobster Roll 2005.
10:43Hold on.
10:44Added talent.
10:45All right, I think we're done here.
10:48So get out.
10:49Okay.
10:50Thank you so much.
10:51Thank you so much.
10:52I'll find you on the Moncton Facebook page.
10:54Thanks so much.
10:55I'm banned.
10:56I'm sure you are.
10:58Well, in a room full of D-listers, one of you was an A+.
11:03The winner of today's mini-challenge is...
11:08Sammy Landry.
11:09Oh, yeah.
11:10Good job.
11:11Yes.
11:12Good work.
11:15You have won $2,500 cash courtesy of Swish Embassy.
11:21Ooh.
11:22Oh, my.
11:23All right.
11:24Now that we're all warmed up, it's time to sizzle your sisters.
11:27Because for this week's maxi-challenge, it's the return of the reading battles.
11:32Oh!
11:34You'll face off against one of your fellow queens and take turns trading burns.
11:40It is the reading battles.
11:41We've all seen it.
11:42Some of us may not love it.
11:44Reading is an art form.
11:46It is something that not everybody can do because you have to be smart.
11:50And a lot of these girls are so stupid.
11:53The goal is simple.
11:55Win your battle and secure your safety.
11:57Lose your battle and, well, you might be in danger, girl.
12:01And the funniest queen of the night will win the maxi-challenge.
12:06But first, you need a reading buddy.
12:08Sammy Landry, as the winner of the mini-challenge, you will select your rival.
12:13Let me get a look here.
12:15Let me get a look.
12:16I get to pick my opponent first.
12:19Who do I want to destroy?
12:22I'm gonna go for P.M.
12:24Yes.
12:25I fucking hate you so much.
12:27I hate you more.
12:29Now I will choose a queen at random and they will pick their opponent.
12:33Hazel.
12:38Who the fuck do I want to choose?
12:41Who is on the same level as me?
12:44I think I'm gonna go with Caramel.
12:48Okay.
12:50Dulce.
12:52I know everyone thinks I'm gonna go Pigman, but I'm not sure.
12:57I kind of wanted to surprise them.
12:58You know what?
12:59I'm gonna go with Velma.
13:01Work.
13:02Work.
13:03Okay, so Dulce versus Velma.
13:05All right, let's find our next name.
13:10Ebony LaBelle.
13:11Here we go.
13:15So which of y'all bitches would call me annoying?
13:20You wanted it to be Salt versus Pepper so bad.
13:23So you know what?
13:24I'm gonna choose Maya Fox.
13:30So it's Ebony versus Maya.
13:32And that means it's Saltina versus Van Gogh.
13:35Fate leaves me and Van together and I cannot wait to read her down.
13:45To help you get up in this gig, you'll get some help from our extra special guest judge.
13:50But I'll let her introduce herself.
13:52Oh!
13:53Racers, start your engines.
13:55And may the best drag queen read.
13:58My name is Alyssa Edwards and I am a very established and seasoned queen.
14:07I mean truly.
14:08What the fuck am I actually doing here in Canada?
14:11Where's Brooklyn Heights?
14:15Oh my god!
14:17I am gooped, gagged, and bewildered.
14:21Holy fuck!
14:22She is like my favorite drag queen of all time.
14:27Tell me, are we ready for the reading battle?
14:30Yeah!
14:31The girls wanna battle!
14:32Y'all, this is fun.
14:33I know what you all are feeling right now.
14:35But I think if you turn off the voices in your head sometimes,
14:39and allow yourself to giggle and laugh,
14:42and if you're confident in your skin unapologetically,
14:45the judges will enjoy it.
14:46Yeah, I feel like it is hard because it's like you don't wanna offend the person.
14:49Why don't you wanna offend them in a reading battle?
14:51Honey, there's a cash prize.
14:53There is a check waving to you.
14:54You better get to offending everybody.
14:56All the girls think that I'm an easy target in this challenge,
14:59and I'm sure Hazel thinks she has it in the bag.
15:02But I feel like if anything, that just fuels my fire.
15:04I mean, Alyssa Edwards gave me the hint, so I need to come in hard.
15:08So if a joke doesn't land, how do you keep rolling?
15:14Guess what, I'm laughing first.
15:15Yes, okay.
15:16Okay, because if you can't make yourself laugh,
15:18how the fuck are you gonna make somebody else laugh?
15:21You're gonna make somebody else and get somebody at home laugh.
15:23Many times in season five, me telling myself I can't do this or this or this,
15:27oh, hell, bitch.
15:29You could do all of that.
15:30It might not be as fast or as sharp as someone else,
15:34but what you do is authentically, unapologetically you.
15:38And when you bring that to this competition, that's when you soar.
15:42Do you have any advice, like maybe right before you walk in,
15:44to like kind of tell yourself, or does that just kind of tie in to pretty much?
15:47No, I think being a performer, it's natural to be nervous
15:49because we're passionate about it, right?
15:51We want to do good.
15:52We want to be a symbol of excellence.
15:53We want to be the best version of ourselves.
15:55So it's natural to be nervous, especially when you're passionate about something.
15:58And I think that's good.
15:59Hearing Alyssa say that like, if you have nerves, it's because you're passionate,
16:03kind of makes me feel a little bit more at ease
16:05because I feel like I've been really nervous pretty much this whole competition,
16:08but it's because it means a lot to me.
16:10This isn't just a game.
16:11Like, this is something I really want.
16:13Bring that backstage drag banter.
16:15Bring that to the main stage.
16:17I'm excited to see all this.
16:19I'm excited.
16:20And I believe in you all, all right?
16:21Now let me meet y'all's opponents.
16:22Get the hell up out of here.
16:23I love Miss Alyssa's motherfucking air words.
16:34That is so gaggy.
16:35Are y'all gagged?
16:36Alyssa is that type of girl that just knows how to throw it back right at you.
16:40And she could give us some really, really, really good advice.
16:43I'm Sammy Landry.
16:44Oh, wait, say that again.
16:46Sammy Landry.
16:47Sammy.
16:48Sammy.
16:49Sammy.
16:50Sammy.
16:51Landry.
16:52That's the experience.
16:53That's the experience.
16:54What does that mean?
16:55It means my name.
16:56Landry.
16:57Landry.
16:58It's French.
16:59Clearly.
17:00Yes.
17:01Who thinks they're really going to excel in this?
17:02I feel like I'm going to surprise myself.
17:03You better do that, honey, or you better be a good lip-syncer.
17:06I can actually have a lip-syncer.
17:07I can perform down.
17:08I know all about that because I thought I was fucking hilarious, bitch.
17:11You were cackling.
17:12You were having a hoot and a hauls.
17:14And I was obsessed with that.
17:15The judges didn't.
17:16They were like, what?
17:17Alyssa, were you entertained us there thoroughly?
17:19But I'm a storyteller.
17:21I learned very quickly in these kind of challenges, sometimes less is best.
17:25And when it's less is best, you can get a lot more snappy.
17:28Punch.
17:29You get to the punch.
17:30And delivery can be everything.
17:31Yes.
17:32Sometimes for me, for my character, I could read a children's book and make it funny.
17:35Yeah.
17:36Just really sell your character with it.
17:37Yes.
17:38Alyssa is giving us some solid comedy advice.
17:41This is all in fun.
17:42Just drag.
17:43It's just drag.
17:44It's not personal.
17:45It's just drag.
17:46I don't know how to protect or test, but I think some of these queens are over here playing too Canadian and nice.
17:50And I think some of them are quite shady.
17:53I'll stay tuned.
17:55That sounds good.
18:00Oh my God.
18:02Okay.
18:03Alyssa Edwards.
18:04Alyssa.
18:05Motherfucking Edwards.
18:06She came to Moncton.
18:08No way.
18:092018.
18:10I opened for a show that she did in Montreal.
18:13So you said it was around 2018.
18:1518, yeah.
18:16How long have you been doing drag again?
18:18Nine years.
18:19Nine years?
18:20I started in a drag competition and I won the contest.
18:24And at the end, I found the heart of drag being my heart.
18:29My art.
18:30Art.
18:31But yeah, a little bit of this too.
18:34The only way to get good at it and the only way to figure out your drag is with a lot of experience.
18:40Exactly.
18:41I didn't have shows and gigs that much because they didn't want to book me.
18:46It was a challenge to be booked for gigs.
18:49I was feeling the hate more from the older queens than my sisters.
18:54It's been nine years, but it's like the two last years that I really, really had jobs and I did my experience.
19:02I'm such a fighter, so I just keep on going.
19:05It's a little bit sad.
19:06I'm like, I wish I had the chance that my sisters that started with me had.
19:12I'm really happy that I have a place here and that I can be celebrating this heart.
19:18So, do you want to...
19:19Yeah, let's wish you to get to work.
19:20Yeah.
19:21But it wasn't...
19:23Wait, did you get...
19:25No, I got chosen.
19:26Who chose you?
19:27Ebony chose me.
19:28So you're easy to read.
19:29Apparently.
19:30Apparently.
19:31Ebony is a really big personality and I just need to make sure that she doesn't see more
19:35of me in this challenge.
19:36I need to take my space up and stand out my own way.
19:39Oh, girl.
19:40Oh, girl.
19:41They ain't ready to go.
19:42I am so happy I'm sitting with my sisters, Miss Vanessa Goth and Ebony, because they are the funniest bitches in the room.
19:49And I need some help.
19:50I chose Maya.
19:51I don't really know too much about her.
19:53But that didn't stop me from writing a lot of jokes.
19:56Maya did win Snatch Game last week, so I know she's good at improv.
19:59And what if she takes away the momentum from my jokes with a good clap back?
20:05Are we feeling a little devious today?
20:07Well, yeah.
20:08Well, yes.
20:09I feel like we all didn't get to pick, right?
20:11All three of us?
20:12Yeah.
20:13I didn't get to pick, but I got who I wanted.
20:14Oh, really?
20:15Really?
20:16Yes.
20:17Okay.
20:18You know, Dan has a big target on her back with two wins.
20:19Mm-hmm.
20:20And I feel like I could, you know, maybe make her a little less comfortable.
20:25I'm happy that you're going against her because I feel like you can really...
20:28Yeah.
20:29I hope her...
20:30I don't want her to get out the win.
20:31I want to deflate her ego.
20:33Just a little...
20:34You know?
20:35I would have picked Hazel because I know Hazel the best.
20:39And I know...
20:40Well, tell me about it.
20:41Oh, we will.
20:42We will.
20:43I want to, like, dig in deep.
20:44Yeah.
20:45And we will dig deep today.
20:46I'm going to give Caramilk a couple of little zingers or things they can dig at
20:52that might throw Hazel off their game because Hazel definitely threw my game off last week
20:57by not choosing me.
20:58Do you think everyone else is leaving Shady?
20:59I hope so.
21:00No.
21:01I think everyone's going...
21:02I think everybody's...
21:03Look at them.
21:04They're all overlooking at us.
21:05Oh, my God.
21:06Okay.
21:07So, let's talk in French.
21:08Oh, my God.
21:09Thank God.
21:10Thank God.
21:11Thank God.
21:12Thank God.
21:13Thank God.
21:14No.
21:15No.
21:16No.
21:17No.
21:18I'm not violent.
21:19No.
21:20No.
21:21No.
21:22No.
21:23No.
21:24No.
21:25No.
21:26No.
21:27No.
21:28No.
21:29You don't feel funny.
21:30It's kind of cool.
21:31It's that.
21:32It's true what he wanted.
21:33I believe you can go as nasty, dirty and deep as you can go if it's funny, it's okay!
21:39Yeah.
21:40Yeah?
21:41Yeah.
21:42This week I know I have to be really prepared the order of the word are so important in comedy
21:58so for me I know I have to practice practice practice practice and practice to success
22:12when life hands you limes put them in your hat welcome to the main stage of Canada's drag race
22:39she's my favorite naughty librarian it's Tracy Melshore hey brook brook hi trace what is your
22:46favorite kind of read petulance oh noted and it's style superstar Carson Kressley Carson what are you
22:55still doing here oh well I came for the poutine but I stayed for the Mount me's I think you mean
23:01the Mounties no I mean Mount me's and it's the pride and joy of mesquite Texas the winner of
23:09global all-stars Alyssa Edwards I'm back back back back back again Alyssa you've never been here only in
23:16my dreams this week we put our Queen's literacy to the test in the reading battles racers start your
23:24engines and may the best drag queen when this category is my chemical reaction first up Hazel my chemical
23:39reaction is inspired by metallic sizing there is the silver plated side and then the gold is
23:47metallic sizing all over it if only she had a brain bitch fuck Joan of Arc it's Hazel of Arc I'm here to
23:55stop on this competition thank you for being an alloy Maya Fox I'm ready to serve you eruption baby I am the
24:08volcano we have rubble all on this down we've got lava coming out it is moving it is flowing she is
24:15smoking that's my Mount Vesuvacissi I'm really selling this head to toe I am melting all over this stage
24:23what a hothead Pompeii I say Ebony LaBelle Miss Ebony she's getting ready to go to the gala she got her
24:33pretty dress on she got her hair up in her rollers honey she's reading the good old Val magazine shoot
24:39that high here and I turn around boom now she done turns it and burns it the whole back is a burnt to a
24:46crisp but isn't she so glamorous hair today gone tomorrow PM my runway is inspired by the chemical reaction
24:57decaying now that right there is rigor Morris I wanted to be in kind of a half state of
25:27decaying so I got bones coming out maybe I'm giving you horror I'm giving you spooky it takes
25:37a lot of backbone to wear a look like this caramel who doesn't love a melted chocolate bar what's up
25:46fudge this week I really wanted to show something more sexy I just wanted to go down the runway with
25:52my oiled up legs and show the girls that I can really strut down I think I see her ganache
25:57caramel is a melting the hearts of the judges
26:01Sammy Landry my chemical reaction is inspired by crystallization oh my god I crystallized you guys
26:11I don't fucking know how crystallization works I'm not a scientist I'm a drag queen now that right there
26:17was Marilyn Monroe I wanted to challenge myself and push myself and show the judges that I hear the
26:24critiques this is the glam Sammy Saltina shaker my runway is inspired by the chemical reaction of cryogenesis
26:33that's me freezing it's Kate minus eight Fahrenheit I have these pipes going into my suit pumping oxygen but I'm slowly freezing to death putting the cyst in cryogenesis
26:50she's giving us the cold shoulder don't say I'm rolling down this runway like I have a rock and at the
26:58very end I bust open and you see everything that's inside of me I could see her Grand Canyon a lot of
27:04browns a lot of like almost orangey colors maybe a bit of crystallization which is why the rhinestones
27:10are all placed and scattered everywhere I want to show the judges that I don't always just wear a gown not a
27:15soul could rock Belmont Jones the graceful mother nature has arrived it's precipitation but fashion
27:24the hair clouds is charged with water the rain is pouring to the cold ground becoming ice here she is
27:33world it's stormy Daniel I want to take my time for the judges to really take it in and really appreciate
27:41all the details is that a first time a woman's ever made you wet welcome to reading battles tonight two
27:55queens will face off in a read-off you will exchange burns and land as many hits as you can the winner of
28:05each battle will secure their spot in the competition and the funniest queen of the night will be our maxi
28:11winner we will also name a bottom three from the losers of their battles so don't hold back
28:25welcome to our first battle the only thing whiter than her face is her dancing it's Van Gogh
28:34and just like her hometown Ottawa she's had a bunch of angry truckers in her it's Saltina Shaker let the
28:46reading begin hello everyone my name is Van Gogh I am the little devil with the list also known as the
28:54frontrunner of the competition Saltina is so desperate for another win she's battling the girl with the speech
29:00impediment and she's still gonna lose but it'll remind her of week one all right hi ladies and
29:08gentlemen uh whatever the fuck PM is how are we doing tonight you know Van it looks like somebody squished
29:17your face but it also sounds like somebody squished your face so Tina you are the queen of social media and I want
29:28you to show us how to do one of those amazing transitions right now from the main stage back to Ottawa what
29:35do Vans filler and Canadian geese have in common they're both migrating as we speak
29:44well I went to Brooklyn's doctor so I know
29:51van walks into a bar is something I would say if caramel didn't steal all her bookings
30:02Albert Einstein invented the theory of relativity my theory your parents were relatives
30:13I want to leave you all with some homework do y'all know what a blobfish is a blobfish if you don't
30:24know what it is look it up when you get back home and let me know what you think let me know what you
30:30think um hint it's hideous thank you guys well done the reading battle is on a real uh war of
30:43words lots of casualties and collateral damage over here Van Gogh I can tell that you host I can tell
30:49that you are comfortable commanding a room Saltina you had some great zingers in there Canada goose
30:54migration I was like wait they make more than just jackets I was a little worried about you
31:00at first but you really found your rhythm at the end and you ended on the perfect note which is that
31:04blobfish and also your p.m. joke will live rent-free in my head forever I think this is a double act
31:11something you two both to take on the road together good and evil the winner of this reading battle is
31:17Saltina Shaker hey congratulations you live to slay another day that means I'm sorry my dear but Van Gogh you
31:32lost your battle and you may be up for elimination it's time for our next battle now despite popular
31:43belief she did not shoot Selena it's Dulce oh my god that's great and she's the Jean Chrétien of drag
31:55it's Velma Jones let the reading begin well hello everyone my name is Dulce and I will be your main
32:07course for this evening to warm us up you know the one that you kind of toss to the side Velma hi everybody
32:14and p.m. I'm your Frenchy sweetheart and the good thing with this face-off is I would not understand
32:25any of it what's missing oh taste too bad I can't ask for you Velma is so white when feasts whoo when
32:47feast girl I know about feast but when I first met Velma she thought I was housecleaning she did and
32:55when production first said hard ice she got so excited because she thought I was finally getting
33:00deported yeah well Dulce really wants to be fully part of our drag family and judging by how she's
33:11dressing hey grandma I'm surprised you know the word grandma cuz wasn't your mom an alcoholic and
33:20hated you yeah oh yeah sure but my grandma loved me she's the only one that does fuck Dulce is so poor
33:29well yes well yes she keeps her drink tickets from drag bar gigs and use them as coupons at
33:41grocery store I would have saved those drink tickets for your mom I know she could have used them but did
33:48you know that Velma also has a drag king personality no she does she does but honestly if we were all
33:54such a half-assed drag queen like her we would also need another personality to make up for the lack of
33:59talent though girls are reading Dulce is from the city of London and now I understand where she got her
34:10British smile both of you really surprised me because you seemed a little timid yesterday
34:24you'll say love your confidence I loved how you commanded the stage Velma I loved how you were able
34:32to laugh at yourself and the fact that English is not your first language you surprised me your timing your
34:38delivery really impeccable the winner of this reading battle is Velma Jones congratulations you have won your
34:52reading battle she'll say I'm sorry my dear but you lost your battle and may be up for elimination
34:58it's time for our next battle she's not viral she's just diseased it's Sammy Landry and they're polyamorous but you
35:20could probably tell that just by looking at them
35:22it's PM done let the reading begin
35:27pussy milk that is the name that PM chose for themselves it's a little hard to process it might be because I'm lactose intolerant or because it's just a shit name
35:45now I'm gonna find some new names for you tonight because uh your pussy milk is rotted
35:54my name is PM just the letters P and M you stupid bitch
36:00um Sammy Landry season six's comedy queen the only funny thing about you though is that your dad and your mom know each other better as brother and sister
36:12p.m. Poorly made PM problematic mug your makeup is a little dry kind of like your punchline
36:31okay you got me with that one okay Sammy I have two words for you and I am gonna say them really slowly because you're from Moncton and that means you're an idiot
36:46pimple patches you're looking like a Jackson Pollock painting out a drag sweetheart and we don't want to see it anymore
36:55oh my p.m. patchy mullet
37:02oh my gosh
37:03your drag belongs in the dark p.m. hours because I don't want to see it
37:10we have an animal on stage and from your lip sync you literally look like a pony doing fucking dressage
37:18and your teeth are you munching and crunching those carrots sweetheart
37:25I haven't mentioned the carrots because I can clearly see what the fuck is going on here
37:28okay
37:33p.m. poop muncher
37:36and I'm about to leave the stage because I don't want to take up any more of your time like Sammy has in this competition
37:45thank you very much
37:47thank you
37:48thank you so much
37:51you two went in really engaging with each other I'd love to see it
37:55Sammy all of those PMs were great they were clever they were inventive but most importantly they were funny
38:00both of you well done brava
38:03thank you
38:04the winner of this reading battle is
38:09Sammy Landry
38:14that means PM I'm sorry my dear you lost your battle and may be up for elimination
38:23it's time for our next battle
38:25if she was a coffee order she'd be a flat white
38:35it's Hazel
38:36that was good that was good
38:38and she's not even the best drag queen in her family
38:42it's caramel
38:46let the reading begin
38:48hello everyone my name is Hazel
38:51her name is disappointment
38:53caramel you made so many clock jokes in Snatch Game
38:58now the only clock that's ticking is your name in this game
39:02that did not come out how it should not at all
39:05not one bit well you know fuck my drag
39:07okay next
39:09Hazel threw her sister PM under the bus last week
39:12she must go through a lot of razor shaving those two faces
39:16something Maya Fox would know a lot about
39:18oh
39:21did y'all know that caramel came in here named after the wrong chocolate bar
39:26bitch your name should be crunchy
39:28it is caramel with a K
39:32and this is Hazel without her K
39:34ketamine
39:35oh shit
39:36oh shit
39:37oh shit
39:38oh shit
39:40oh
39:41girl I know
39:42girl PM PM told you that one bitch
39:44we see in your nostrils
39:46oh oh
39:48you know what's so endearing about Caramelk
39:51the fact that she thought she was going to be a bigger star than Dulce in the acting challenge
39:56no one's bigger than Dulce
40:00you have a weekly show called Haze
40:03which makes a lot of sense because you have the testosterone of an entire fraternity
40:10ironic that Caramelk played Flava Flav
40:14cause she's been giving tasteless performances week after week after week
40:19but I still sensed our home with no makeup on
40:23oh
40:26Hazel rapped about being a star in her it girl music video verse
40:30girl with that cheerleader entrance look you're not shining
40:34you're sheening
40:38stupid
40:40so stupid
40:43okay gorgeous gowns
40:45Hazel I relate to you
40:48because you're a funny person when you're not reading a script
40:52alright? when you put the cards down and you interacted with the audience and with us
40:57you invited us into your world and we felt like we were a part of the Hazel show
41:03even when the jokes didn't land you didn't wither you know you stood tall and fabulous and strong
41:08so we love to see it
41:10and Caramel it's nice to see you pushing yourself outside of your shell
41:13you had some really great jokes in there and you finished on such a high note for me
41:16and it was a really good period on the sentence
41:20the winner of this reading battle is
41:25Caramelk
41:30Hazel my dear I'm sorry but you lost your battle and maybe a prelimination
41:34darn
41:36it is time for our final battle
41:37St. Catharines has no nightlife which explains her drag
41:47it's Ebony LaBelle
41:50yes
41:52and she puts the East in beast
41:55it's Maya Fox
41:57not that
41:58yes
42:00let the reading begin
42:02I am so happy that I get to share the stage with you this week
42:05I mean god damn bitches look how good she makes me love
42:09Ebony is such a likeable and friendly queen
42:14even her lace has been waving at me all season
42:17hi Maya, hi Maya
42:19Ms. Maya, did y'all know she is a lyricist and also a liar?
42:24yeah? mm-hmm
42:26let me tell you okay in her verse on episode one she says that she serves looks in her free time
42:32I guess she don't got a lot of free time bitch
42:40oh my gosh
42:42oh my gosh
42:43this bitch is always interrupting people so Ebony the next time you need to say something please raise your hand and put it over your mouth
42:52I know I've been dogging on her ugly brother over there so let me give you some
42:58let me give you some nice words okay cause I am kind
43:02it is so lovely to see you working on your makeup brick by brick by motherfucking brick bitch
43:09bitch you really are the queen of blending into the background
43:14oh girl
43:16Alyssa I am so motherfucking happy that you are here this week
43:20I actually prepared a gift for you okay?
43:22Ms. Maya Fox is here to show you how to finally hook in a pillowcase bitch
43:27wait a minute she don't got a chin either she can't
43:30you waiting to meet this or her?
43:32this bitch was so busted in the commercial it looks like her booking fee is 37.50
43:39listen we gotta work on that drag name she came up in here as Maya Fox but I think we could try
43:45Maya Horse or uh
43:47Maya Taste is Awful or uh
43:49Maya Time in this competition is up after this week's challenge
43:53woo!
43:55thank you I am Ebony LaBelle and that's a man Maury
44:01now this is how you close out a reading battle
44:03I think this is my favorite duo of the night
44:05yes
44:06what an epic showdown
44:08Ebony let's talk
44:10gorgeous, confident, strong, the comebacks were like impeccable
44:16I felt like I was watching you in Vegas
44:18you give me a character right out of Paris is burning
44:22uh Maya it was a very Canadian approach
44:26you had great material
44:27I love to raise your hand
44:29you had some uh cute little zingers
44:33the winner of this reading battle is
44:37Ebony LaBelle
44:39woo!
44:41thank you so much
44:45Maya Fox I'm sorry my dear but you lost your battle and may be up for elimination
44:49congratulations to our battle winners this week
44:55you all burnt your opponents to a crisp
44:58but one of you really stirred the pots
45:03Ebony LaBelle
45:05congratulations
45:09you are the winner of this week's maxi challenge
45:13yes I am
45:14you have won $5,000 cash courtesy of Lucky Bastard Distilleries
45:20bitch I'm a Lucky Bastard tonight
45:23yes ma'am
45:24oh that's like good money
45:26that leaves us with the losers of their battles
45:29Van Gogh
45:31Maya Fox
45:33you are both safe
45:35thank you
45:37which means Dulce, P.M. and Hazel
45:39I'm sorry but you were the bottom three this week
45:42Ebony
45:44as this week's winner
45:46you have earned the power of the golden beaver
45:49granting you the ability to save one of the bottom queens
45:52from lip syncing for their life
45:54you hold the fate of your sisters
45:56in your petite little hands
45:58as you untuck
46:00the bottom three may plead their case
46:02you may leave the stage
46:06oh girl
46:07the reading battles have come to a close
46:10the reading battles were so much fun
46:13we really redeemed the reading challenges on Canada's Drag Race
46:17you're welcome season 5
46:19we can finally all stop hearing Ebony cry about being safe
46:22what a challenge
46:24yeah
46:26cheers
46:28well deserved
46:29did you appreciate that?
46:30yes you did
46:31yes you did
46:32bitch I won
46:38bitch I win
46:40girl y'all know I've been hungry for it
46:42I'm just like so proud of myself
46:44oh I know these hoes are bad
46:46and Maya I need to say
46:48I'm not mad at you
46:49we killed it up there
46:51we did great
46:52you were the one person that I did not want to go against
46:54yeah
46:55and this is my redemption to say
46:57yeah
46:59bitch you were so funny
47:01the comedy redemption finally happened
47:03sorry for this one
47:05thank you I am funny
47:08yes you are
47:10my spot is secured
47:12I want to hear what the bottoms have to say
47:14I wanted to talk to my sister Dulce
47:16cause I'm feeling a vibe over here
47:19it sucks I feel like I haven't
47:21been like reaching the potential that I know I can
47:25I feel like my drag is like fucking sickening
47:28though I'm happy you won
47:29I wish I won
47:31but it is what it is
47:33my track record is good
47:35I've been in the top
47:36I've never gotten the beaver
47:38I'm going to continue to fucking do better
47:41I don't want to throw you two under the bus either
47:43cause like I know you guys feel just as shit as I do
47:46you guys are more used to it but I'm not
47:48I was waiting for that
47:50I was waiting for it
47:52the way you're feeling right now is the way that I was feeling
47:54a couple weeks ago
47:56it's like you're doing good
47:58you know you wanted that moment
47:59you wanted that win
48:01and you're having a little short spot
48:03don't discredit yourself girl
48:05I deserve to stay here
48:07but I don't know how the girls are playing it
48:09if they're playing it by track record
48:11it should be me
48:12no questions asked
48:13no shade I want the beaver just as much as you do again
48:16you know like if I'm the fucking beaver queen of the season
48:19then I'm the fucking beaver queen of the season
48:21I want to keep going and fucking showing everyone
48:24that I am a threat in this competition
48:26and not a fucking flat white
48:28no shade?
48:30bitch your face is a flat white
48:32but there is flush on it
48:34listen I want to move into your beaver lodge Ebeneez
48:38so fucking give me that beaver okay
48:39I am obviously a little upset that I'm here
48:43I'm somebody in Vancouver who doesn't really
48:46do the back room shit
48:48so for me to sit down and put pen to paper
48:50and make people laugh today
48:52is probably one of my proudest moments
48:55and I can't stop smiling
48:58because I look fucking good
49:00I feel good
49:02and I did good today
49:04I obviously hope you use the beaver on me
49:05because these two don't know how to use the beaver properly
49:09bitch when I was 16 I had my time with the beaver
49:12yeah sure you have Hazel
49:14bitch we're friends to this day
49:15hi Kiana
49:17if I were in the top I would have used it on PM
49:19I would use it on PM I thought you were absolutely phenomenal
49:23I would say Dulce for sure
49:25I think she's got the best track record
49:28who's the fucking gag over there?
49:29no I said for sure
49:30oh okay
49:31well I mean for me I think
49:33I think like Hazel I think you already had the beaver
49:35like this is how I would process it
49:37PM you got the beaver last week as well
49:39Dulce's never had the beaver
49:41you were in the top in the commercial challenge
49:43I don't know what Ebony's gonna do here
49:45she's got some really strong options
49:46but she could also make a move in this competition
49:48she also has an alliance with everybody up in here
49:50so I don't know what this bitch is thinking
49:52there's a lot of things to take into consideration
49:54I can fully just base it off of today
49:55I can base it off a track record
49:56I can also base it off of what I think's gonna come next
50:00what if the next challenge is a performance challenge
50:02who I think is going to really really eat it up next week
50:06I know that Ebony is playing this game strategically
50:09so I need to make sure that I give her an offer
50:12that she cannot deny so that I end up with the beaver in my hands
50:16Ebony can I say something though?
50:18yes
50:19I feel like this week I rose
50:21and I feel like I'm headed upwards
50:22mmhmm
50:23and if you were to ever find yourself down
50:26I would scratch your back for sure
50:29and I would scratch it so good
50:31I feel like I didn't flop this week
50:33and I really want to be here
50:35and I will get you back if you get me this week
50:38and you know what?
50:39y'all saying I can say the exact same thing too
50:41literally girl read fucking tweet
50:43but you don't mean it
50:44what do you mean I don't mean it?
50:45what do you mean I don't mean it?
50:46because you put me out there last week
50:47and I want to be your best friend
50:49bitch I did not fucking put you out there last week
50:51you didn't choose me
50:53I was in the moment but anyone else
50:55you're in the moment of her too
50:57and that's the thing so it is what it is
51:00you know what I think?
51:01I think let them settle it out on the lip sync
51:03let them down save me
51:05make it real simple
51:07they need stuff to work out
51:08make them lip sync
51:10down
51:12you said you could turn the party
51:14and I want to see you go out there
51:16I want to see you go
51:18whether we lip sync or not
51:19I am fucking ready to oof girl
51:21I love this untucked
51:23PM gave me a very good offer
51:26that if I scratch their back now
51:28they'll scratch my back later
51:30I do believe them I really do
51:32bitch not everybody making that plea
51:34so I guess I'm pretty good whoever the hell I choose
51:37I don't know
51:39girl I just gotta make a damn decision
51:42welcome back queens
51:48Ebony LaBelle
51:51heavy is the hand that holds the beaver
51:54who do you want to save from the chomping block?
51:57y'all did not make it easy this week
51:59whoever I don't save
52:01bitches fight it out on the stage
52:05I have chose to save Dulce
52:06Lobby damned
52:07Dulce you are out of the woods this week
52:17you may join the others at the back
52:19thank you
52:20thank you I love you Alyssa
52:21PM
52:25Hazel
52:27I'm sorry but this means you are both up for elimination
52:31two queens stand before us
52:34prior to tonight you were asked to prepare a lip sync performance
52:40of dumb blonde by Avril Lavigne featuring Nicki Minaj
52:44this is your last chance to impress us
52:46and save yourself from elimination
52:49the time has come for you to lip sync for your life
52:58life
53:02good luck
53:03and don't
53:04fuck
53:05it
53:06up
53:07up
53:10I ain't no dumb blonde
53:12I ain't no stupid Barbie doll
53:15I got my game on
53:17watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong
53:19well there you go again telling me where I belong
53:23you put me on the bench, don't think that I can play strong
53:27so quick to condescend
53:29well you think I'm empty, I'm not
53:32you won't be so confident when I'm crushing you from the top
53:35I'm a babe by my box that I'm making this Monday
53:39uh-huh
53:40I can flip like a switch and I cut like a blade
53:43try to get it out
53:44I can sting like a bee but I'm sweeter than Hyundai
53:48uh-huh
53:49and I'm quick as a whip so get out of my way
53:52come and get it out
53:54I ain't no dumb blonde
53:56I ain't no stupid Barbie doll
53:58I got my game on
54:00just watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong
54:03I ain't no dumb blonde
54:04I am a freakin' cherry ball
54:07I need an icon
54:09come watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong
54:11stand up everybody
54:13get out, say it loud
54:15with bombshells raising hell now
54:18watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong
54:20stand up everybody
54:22get out, say it loud
54:24with bombshells raising hell now
54:26watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong
54:28Yo, I ain't playing, but I won the cup
54:30Came through heavy on it in a Bentley truck
54:32It was me, young Avril, security tough
54:35In the back, just in case one of y'all run up
54:37One of y'all, um, um, all of y'all be stuck
54:39When you see a young queen in the flesh, what's up?
54:41All I hate you was doing, got the Barbie popping
54:43Now all of them wanna be a Barbie, I'm watching
54:46But you never gonna stop me, never gonna top me
54:48Millions on millions, they never gonna die me
54:50I am the prototype of being printin'
54:52No, I don't want no frauds, wink, wink
54:54I'm out, I ain't no dark, I ain't no dark
54:58Stupid Barbie, come on
54:59I got my game on
55:01Watch me, watch me, watch me, prove you wrong
55:03I ain't no dark, I ain't no dark, I ain't no dark
55:06I am a freakin' cherry, come on
55:08Yeah, I'll be your icon
55:10Just watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong
55:12Stand up, everybody
55:14Stand up, say it loud
55:16Get loud, shout, raise and count
55:18Watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong
55:21Stand up, everybody
55:22Yeah, say it loud
55:25Let's go
55:26Stand up, raise and count
55:27Watch me, watch me, watch me, prove you wrong
55:30That was great
55:37Queens, we have made our decision
55:44PM, Shantae, you stay
55:52Go with it, let's go with it
56:07Hazel
56:09Behind those hazel eyes
56:12Is a star on the rise
56:15Thank you so much
56:17For this opportunity
56:19I feel so blessed to be here
56:21Well we are so blessed to have you here
56:23Thank you
56:24Now sashay away
56:25This flat white will end for now
56:28Love you
56:31You can catch me on my one person comedy show coming very soon
56:40You got any call tickets?
56:43I feel very disappointed
56:49I just feel like I didn't really get to show off who I am truly as a performer
56:55Just besides that iconic lip sync
56:58You bitch
57:05Am I Fifi O'Hara in this moment?
57:12Oh my god
57:14The beautiful hazel
57:17You are absolutely beautiful
57:19Like you said
57:20You should be so proud of yourself
57:22This is just the beginning
57:23And that's what it's about
57:24I know
57:25I've sashayed away a few times in my time
57:29Get your person, come on
57:32Let's go, we going to Texas
57:33Let me take her, let me take her
57:35Is the bus still running?
57:37Yeah, I am
57:38Baby, you're going to the train station or something
57:40Girl, hit it
57:42Congratulations, Queens
57:44You live to slay another day
57:47The world has never needed the magic of Dragmore
57:50So remember
57:51Stay true, north, strong, and
57:55Yeah
57:56That's right
57:58Now let the music play
57:59You wear it well
58:00Step, step, step
58:02Made it on
58:03You wear it well
58:04I'm sure I suit you
58:06Ooh, ooh, ooh
58:08Work it for me
58:09Work it for me, me
58:11You wear it, you wear it
58:13You wear it well
58:15Next time on Canada's Drag Race
58:17You'll be the hostesses with the mostesses
58:20On our brand new drag talk show
58:22The Shade
58:23I feel a little sad that neither of you really wanted me in your group
58:26This is definitely not the energy that I want to start with
58:29It's not just like having a drag mother, drag daughter
58:32It's about the connections you make along the way
58:34Girl, this is boring
58:35I love this talk show, by the way
58:37Whoa
58:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
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