- 1 week ago
Rented a Billionaire Husband for Christmas Completed
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:22Just play along.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:57Do you want me to stop, send me now.
00:01:00I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07I don't want you to stop.
00:01:10I was so drunk last night, I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:40I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:51Sam, it's me.
00:01:52Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how, just do it.
00:01:57I will find you.
00:02:01Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:07Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:10I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:15I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:17Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:29And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:40Boss, it's been years.
00:02:45I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:47New vest, sir.
00:02:49But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:51She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:53Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:57We can't have her know either Harrison Group's CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:06Hi.
00:03:07One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:09And one hot chocolate.
00:03:12I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:15Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:20Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:24But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:27Where's my real one?
00:03:29Uh...
00:03:35I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:37Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:47Danny!
00:03:48Yo!
00:03:49Whoa!
00:03:56Danny!
00:03:57Yo!
00:03:58I'm sorry.
00:03:59I'm not your dad.
00:04:01No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I thought.
00:04:04Oh.
00:04:05Mommy, hurry!
00:04:06Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:08I asked the agency for an average looking guy.
00:04:19He's gorgeous.
00:04:20Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:22Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:23She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:24Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:25You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:26So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:27See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:28Hi, my name's Cybert.
00:04:29What's your name?
00:04:30She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:32Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:38See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Piper.
00:04:42What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:12That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:30so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:05:48Well, clean up nice.
00:06:04It was my wedding day, after all.
00:06:06Pictures.
00:06:07You're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:18You're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:22Okay.
00:06:40Okay.
00:06:41Uh, well, I think we got it.
00:06:43Ooh.
00:06:43That's not bad.
00:06:44I need some photos of us together, too,
00:06:46to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:50Yeah.
00:06:51Of course.
00:07:01Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:03From my family to you.
00:07:13Bad news, boss.
00:07:14The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:16to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:18Wait, she bailed?
00:07:20Then who is...
00:07:23Who is she?
00:07:26Whatever.
00:07:28It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:33Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:35Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:46Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:50in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It'll make it more believable.
00:08:00Fine.
00:08:00Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:14No, let's go to the bank.
00:08:16What the actual fuck?
00:08:27Sam, is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:30of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Get me a DNA test for that little girl
00:08:34that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:40So, when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:45we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51They're going to love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so, I was, uh, thinking that
00:08:58since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:03in front of them.
00:09:05Okay.
00:09:07Should we use our tongues, or...?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:10And absolutely no...
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14This is strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that
00:09:18is not happening.
00:09:20What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want Piper
00:09:25to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way
00:09:28of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:31Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:39I've never let my woman
00:09:40pick up the tab.
00:09:43Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:45and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:47and I don't want your money.
00:09:50Attention shoppers,
00:09:51all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:55Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies, I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go, go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:06You ready?
00:10:06Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:07Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:11Spend $500, get 10% off,
00:10:13and you are just short $15
00:10:15if you want to take advantage
00:10:16of the deal.
00:10:16Oh, great, yeah.
00:10:18What do you have
00:10:19that's just $15?
00:10:20Will you get a move on?
00:10:22I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:25Yeah, yeah.
00:10:28Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:30Okay, thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up and pay.
00:10:37I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait your turn.
00:10:45Damn, my fake wife
00:10:46has some fire in her.
00:10:53Oh, wait, wait, wait,
00:10:54not the pies, not the pies.
00:10:55You can just set those on top.
00:11:01Hi, guys.
00:11:03I'm going to hand you
00:11:04all these pies.
00:11:09Of course.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:12Of course.
00:11:12I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:15She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:16Don't worry, I have enough
00:11:17for everybody.
00:11:18Just to give it away.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:25Merry Christmas.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29You do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:36We should go.
00:11:37We got to pick up paper.
00:11:41Watch out.
00:11:55You done feeling me up?
00:12:04Shut up.
00:12:05Oh, sorry.
00:12:06I was just in character, wife.
00:12:07You...
00:12:07Well, stay out of character
00:12:09until Christmas.
00:12:15And don't be late.
00:12:16Harrison Group?
00:12:28Harrison Group?
00:12:29Do you do construction
00:12:30for them or something?
00:12:32Sort of.
00:12:34Not that I'm judging.
00:12:35I just need to get my story straight
00:12:37or my mom will eat
00:12:38both of us alive.
00:12:40Why don't we say that you do
00:12:41mid-level management
00:12:42for Harrison Group?
00:12:43I think that's respectable.
00:12:46Can we pick another company?
00:12:47No.
00:12:49Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband
00:12:52works for them too.
00:12:53So, it's perfect.
00:12:59Oh, and, uh...
00:13:00Wear something nice
00:13:01for Christmas dinner?
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:05I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:09Let's go, Sam.
00:13:31It's time to check out
00:13:32the new HQ set.
00:13:33Don, you're covered in water
00:13:34and you have a hair
00:13:35on your shoulder
00:13:36and it's not yours.
00:13:37It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Daughter's?
00:13:42Give me a DNA test
00:13:43for that little girl
00:13:44that he's with.
00:14:00Hey, there they are!
00:14:02Let's make it!
00:14:03Oh, dad.
00:14:06Glad you made it.
00:14:08Oh, I missed you.
00:14:10So, where's this mysterious
00:14:12husband we heard all about?
00:14:14He's coming.
00:14:15Please don't tell me
00:14:16Maximus bailed.
00:14:17Good, good, good.
00:14:19So, heard you got
00:14:21a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:23When's he arriving?
00:14:24Oh, it's probably
00:14:26just some story
00:14:27she cooked up
00:14:28to stop people talking.
00:14:29Poor thing.
00:14:30Not surprising.
00:14:31I mean, she's 30.
00:14:32Once a woman hits that age,
00:14:34you become undateable.
00:14:36Plus, a kid looks so bad
00:14:38on dating apps.
00:14:42This is exactly why
00:14:43I refuse to come home
00:14:44single this Christmas.
00:14:45Auntie Pamela?
00:14:47Debbie?
00:14:48My dating life,
00:14:49quite frankly,
00:14:49is none of your concern.
00:14:51We're only worried about you.
00:14:53All these years
00:14:54without a husband.
00:14:55Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:56You know,
00:14:58you always spoiled her rotten.
00:15:00And look what happened.
00:15:02She got knocked up
00:15:03out of wedlock,
00:15:03raising a kid
00:15:04all alone.
00:15:05I'm not alone.
00:15:07Mm-hmm.
00:15:08And what does
00:15:09this mysterious
00:15:10husband do?
00:15:13He's a manager.
00:15:15Manager?
00:15:16Of what?
00:15:17Trash.
00:15:19Probably a cover
00:15:21for criminal activity.
00:15:22You don't have to lie
00:15:25to us, Eva.
00:15:26Actually,
00:15:27he's right here.
00:15:32Oh, wow.
00:15:35Wow.
00:15:36He is really good looking.
00:15:38Ah, must be AI.
00:15:41Mm-hmm.
00:15:41Congratulations, Eva,
00:15:43on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:44Fake.
00:15:45That's enough.
00:15:46She's our daughter
00:15:47and your niece.
00:15:48Show some respect.
00:15:50Remember last year
00:15:51when I introduced you
00:15:52to my husband's nephew,
00:15:54William,
00:15:55and you turned him down?
00:15:57Well, guess what?
00:15:58William works
00:15:59for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:01Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:04That's half a million.
00:16:06Half a million.
00:16:07Girls are lining up
00:16:09for him all the way
00:16:10to New York.
00:16:11And speak of the devil.
00:16:16Willie, you made it.
00:16:21There you are.
00:16:30Oh, look at you now.
00:16:33Living the dream.
00:16:35Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:37Well, you could be driving
00:16:38around in a car like that
00:16:39had you not married
00:16:40that criminal waste manager.
00:16:42So married, huh?
00:16:44Is it serious?
00:16:47That's what marriage is.
00:16:48It's pretty serious.
00:16:49Wow.
00:16:51You must have rushed
00:16:52the time they're not, huh?
00:16:54Makes sense, though.
00:16:55You not being
00:16:56a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:58Dragging that kid around
00:16:59with no daddy.
00:17:00A bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:03Meanwhile,
00:17:04you're climbing
00:17:04the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:07That's right.
00:17:08Just bought this brand new suit
00:17:10with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:12Women love a man in red.
00:17:15Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:17When I sit on my lap.
00:17:19Don't touch me.
00:17:20Oh, so entitled.
00:17:23Williams, a successful man
00:17:25of taste, not waste.
00:17:27And yet, for some reason,
00:17:28he's willing to overlook
00:17:30your baggage.
00:17:31I mean, look at that car.
00:17:33Did your husband afford
00:17:34anything even close to that?
00:17:36Think of the life I can give you
00:17:38and Piper with all my
00:17:39Harrison Group money.
00:17:40Ditch your nobody husband
00:17:42and marry me instead.
00:17:45I wouldn't marry you
00:17:46if you were the last man
00:17:47on Earth.
00:17:52My mom would never marry.
00:17:54She already has us
00:17:55and he's gonna kick your butt.
00:18:00Is that so?
00:18:02Well, then,
00:18:03where is he?
00:18:04Because I don't see him.
00:18:06Does anyone see him?
00:18:07Now, just like I thought,
00:18:12telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:15That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:18And let me show you
00:18:19what happens to naughty children.
00:18:23Hey.
00:18:24Mommy.
00:18:25Hey, are you okay?
00:18:27See your hands.
00:18:28Oh, my God.
00:18:29I'm gonna take her in
00:18:30and get her patched up, okay?
00:18:31Come on, now.
00:18:32Let's go.
00:18:32What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:36How dare you put
00:18:37your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:41Let me go.
00:18:42Now, why would I go
00:18:43and do a thing like that
00:18:44when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:47Let me go.
00:18:48Let me go.
00:18:48Touch my wife again
00:19:03and I will snap every finger
00:19:05that you've got.
00:19:09Max, you came.
00:19:11Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:15Where's Piper?
00:19:16William Hitter.
00:19:18Mom, Dad, I'll take her inside.
00:19:20Well, it looks like
00:19:21we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:23Well, well, well.
00:19:24If it isn't a waste marriage
00:19:26I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:28That's right.
00:19:30Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:34Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:36It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:38I'm Max.
00:19:39Eva told us all about you.
00:19:40From New York.
00:19:42Polite.
00:19:42Handsome.
00:19:43Just like she said.
00:19:45Wow.
00:19:46He was an AI.
00:19:48See?
00:19:49He's real.
00:19:50And he's more of a man here
00:19:52than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:54You son of a bitch.
00:19:55You just ruined my suit.
00:19:56And watch the way that you drive that
00:19:58pristine automobile.
00:20:01That car?
00:20:02Oh, my God.
00:20:03That's worth more than a house.
00:20:06That car?
00:20:07It was all over the news
00:20:08when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:11Wait.
00:20:13Are you?
00:20:18Like I said,
00:20:19I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:21And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:23I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:26You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:27You stole it.
00:20:29That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:31Jesus.
00:20:32How did he get away with it?
00:20:33That's what I want to know.
00:20:35Enough, please.
00:20:38I trust my daughter.
00:20:41She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:44Max, be honest with me.
00:20:46Where did that car come from?
00:20:48How much did you want for it?
00:20:50I'll pay you more money
00:20:52than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:54So?
00:20:55You need a breath, man.
00:20:56All right, that's it.
00:21:00I'm calling the cops.
00:21:01Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:03Wait.
00:21:04What?
00:21:05Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:08Oh, well.
00:21:10Too late.
00:21:16Listen, hon.
00:21:17I believe you.
00:21:19But how could Max
00:21:21afford a car like that?
00:21:23Mr. Smith,
00:21:24don't worry.
00:21:25It's my car.
00:21:25Okay, it's not stolen.
00:21:27Yeah?
00:21:28If it's yours,
00:21:29then prove it.
00:21:31Cops will be here
00:21:32in 15 minutes.
00:21:33Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:35Okay.
00:21:36I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:37But then you have to get lost.
00:21:39And never show your face
00:21:40around my wife or child again.
00:21:42Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:44Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:47Loser!
00:21:47Say one more word
00:21:48and I'll give him a real reason
00:21:49to take me in.
00:21:52Jesus.
00:21:53Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:59Here.
00:22:00Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:09Mr. Harrison?
00:22:12Mr. Harrison?
00:22:17Mr. Harrison?
00:22:19Just play along.
00:22:20Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:23Now get the fuck out of here
00:22:24before I kick your ass
00:22:26all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:27Yes, sir!
00:22:28I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:31Please,
00:22:31please,
00:22:31I'm a serious apologies.
00:22:32Oh, that William,
00:22:45what a jerk, huh?
00:22:47He fooled me.
00:22:48What can I say?
00:22:49Let's not let this little misunderstanding
00:22:51ruin the holidays.
00:22:53Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:55Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:56We were just looking out for you.
00:22:58Oh, please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:01You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:03Soon.
00:23:03Do you think that, uh,
00:23:05you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:07A job at the Harrison Group,
00:23:09even in the mailroom,
00:23:11would open doors.
00:23:12We are family, aren't we?
00:23:14Family takes care of each other.
00:23:15If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group,
00:23:19you can put in an application
00:23:20like everyone else.
00:23:21Abigail, come on,
00:23:23talk to her for us.
00:23:25Didn't you just say
00:23:26that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:28Yeah.
00:23:29I think you need to take care
00:23:30of your own issues first.
00:23:31My daughter is just far too busy
00:23:34for your best life.
00:23:35My new son-in-law.
00:23:37Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:23:39Welcome to the family.
00:23:43Welcome.
00:23:44Come on in.
00:23:45Come on in.
00:23:45This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:51You can't tell the difference
00:23:52between AI and reality.
00:23:54My fault.
00:23:55You were the one
00:23:56who was pushing her
00:23:57onto that worm, William.
00:23:59Oh!
00:24:08Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:10And how do you know
00:24:11the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:12And how do you...
00:24:13I told you.
00:24:14I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:16I have a friend in high places.
00:24:18A friend who just hands you keys
00:24:20to million-dollar,
00:24:21one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:23Yes.
00:24:24It's the season of giving.
00:24:25He knows people.
00:24:27He knows people.
00:24:27He has connections.
00:24:28He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:30You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:32And you best not forget it, capiche?
00:24:34Oh, my God.
00:24:35Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:38Dad!
00:24:39Mom!
00:24:40Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:43Oh, honey.
00:24:44We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:50I think they get it, huh?
00:24:54Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:56Oh, she's fine.
00:24:57One of you guys just get settled in, and we will go check on her.
00:25:01And if your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:05Great.
00:25:06All right, see you in a bit.
00:25:07Shall we?
00:25:08What are you doing?
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:13Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:19Relax.
00:25:19It was just a hug.
00:25:22Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here, and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:26You'll be okay.
00:25:28It's just one week.
00:25:29Kill me now.
00:25:30Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:36What are you doing?
00:25:39That's weird.
00:25:41They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Something just spills off.
00:25:45Come on.
00:25:46That's ridiculous.
00:25:47I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:49Make out a promise to prove it?
00:25:52Don't do this.
00:25:54Later.
00:25:57Let's go.
00:26:01Here we go.
00:26:02Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:06Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
00:26:08To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:11Oh.
00:26:13Welcome.
00:26:14Cheers.
00:26:14Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:16Looks great.
00:26:17Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:19I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:23But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:27Oh, no.
00:26:29Mom's testing him.
00:26:30She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:31You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:39Ow.
00:26:40Eva, sweetie.
00:26:41Kicking my foot.
00:26:42Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:44Oh, jeez.
00:26:47It's okay.
00:26:48Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:50I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:52Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:27:06I hear this right?
00:27:07They're the best kind.
00:27:10Well, of course.
00:27:11It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:13See?
00:27:13Are you happy now?
00:27:15That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:18Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:21We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:27But our marriage is real.
00:27:29I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:33Uh-huh.
00:27:33Now those are quality.
00:27:35Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:40Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:43Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:47I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:50Well, um, it's...
00:27:52Silly face.
00:27:53Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:56Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:58Silly face.
00:28:01I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:03Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:04That's beautiful.
00:28:05Wowzers.
00:28:07Nice.
00:28:08You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:11Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:15And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:17I'll drink to that.
00:28:19I agree with you there.
00:28:21So, come on, guys.
00:28:22Let's see.
00:28:22Come on.
00:28:34And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:38I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:41Nice and festive for you.
00:28:43No complications, right?
00:28:45Sorry, honey.
00:28:46Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:48I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:49Oh, honey.
00:28:51Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:52Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:56The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:58Something about water conservation.
00:29:00That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0215 minutes?
00:29:04Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:06Just shower together.
00:29:08Shower together?
00:29:09Shower together?
00:29:12Just shower together.
00:29:13Okay, you guys.
00:29:14Have a good night, okay?
00:29:15Let me hurt her.
00:29:41Oh, wow.
00:29:42Why are you stripping?
00:29:45Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:48Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:49You have 15 minutes.
00:29:50Nice try.
00:29:51I am not showering with you.
00:29:53All right, suit yourself.
00:29:54All room for me in there.
00:29:56Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:57Come on, Max.
00:30:16Get out of the way.
00:30:18You agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:19You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:21Relax.
00:30:22I won't touch you.
00:30:24Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:26But that'll cost extra.
00:30:38And your dreams.
00:30:41Free to join me.
00:30:42You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:05You wish.
00:31:06Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:08Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:11It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:13Oh, yeah?
00:31:15True.
00:31:15Holy shit.
00:31:28Um, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:36I'll say.
00:31:37What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:40Still think you can resist?
00:31:43Oh, baby.
00:31:45I don't think I want to.
00:31:46Max, I shouldn't let me.
00:31:55Or maybe we should.
00:31:57God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:00Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:08Wow.
00:32:09We're so sexy.
00:32:11Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:21What?
00:32:22I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:24It's not you, Max.
00:32:25It's us.
00:32:26It's this.
00:32:27This is all an act.
00:32:28Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:31You're right.
00:32:33I'm sorry.
00:32:34I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:36That birthmark.
00:32:50What is that?
00:32:53It's him.
00:32:54The man from New Year's.
00:32:55Is he Piper's father?
00:33:00Why are you acting?
00:33:04Oh, my God.
00:33:04Max is Piper's father.
00:33:08Are you okay?
00:33:09Yeah.
00:33:10I just, um...
00:33:12I just got lightheaded.
00:33:13I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:15Alone.
00:33:18Of course.
00:33:21We have a daughter together.
00:33:23Oh, my God.
00:33:25What do I do?
00:33:31I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:33You can take the bed.
00:33:35Thanks.
00:33:38Hey.
00:33:39Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:42Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:43I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:45So if there's something you need,
00:33:47I can help.
00:33:49I want to help.
00:33:50He's Piper's father.
00:33:52He has a right to know.
00:33:54Um, Max?
00:33:57How would you feel
00:33:58if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:01A child?
00:34:04No, no, no.
00:34:06That's impossible.
00:34:08I'm very careful.
00:34:10Mostly.
00:34:13I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:15Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:18and I don't want any loose ends,
00:34:20you know?
00:34:22Right.
00:34:23He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:26I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:28Why do you ask?
00:34:29No reason.
00:34:31Just curious.
00:34:33No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:37What?
00:34:38No.
00:34:39Well, then,
00:34:40can I ask you a question?
00:34:43Shoot.
00:34:48Where did you get these?
00:34:50And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:52I did not get those.
00:34:54I don't know where those came from.
00:34:56Are you sure you're just not trying to
00:34:58break the contract?
00:35:01Give me that.
00:35:02Give me that.
00:35:03Give me that.
00:35:04Give me that.
00:35:05What?
00:35:09Evan,
00:35:17the truth is
00:35:18is that I...
00:35:22Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:24Just a second.
00:35:26Come in.
00:35:28Hey, hon.
00:35:29Oh!
00:35:30Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:31but Piper is asking for a bedtime story
00:35:35before I tuck her in.
00:35:36Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:37We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:39I can see that.
00:35:41Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:43I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:46Well, that a boy.
00:35:47You know what?
00:35:48Just put a shirt on.
00:35:49I'm going to go get her.
00:35:50Piper!
00:35:51Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:55He sprang to his sleigh,
00:35:57to his team gave a whistle,
00:35:59and away they all flew,
00:36:01like the down of a thistle.
00:36:02But I heard him exclaim,
00:36:04as he drove out of sight,
00:36:06Merry Christmas to all,
00:36:08and to all,
00:36:10a good night.
00:36:13If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:36:15she'd be over the moon.
00:36:18Good night, Piper.
00:36:22Is her dad still around?
00:36:25Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:36:27because you're her dad.
00:36:29Uh, no.
00:36:30That man has no idea
00:36:32what a treasure
00:36:33he's missing out on.
00:36:38Do you really think so?
00:36:40From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:43Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:45He deserves to know.
00:36:52Max.
00:36:56You're Piper's father.
00:37:05I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:10Where's Piper?
00:37:33She must have snuck off
00:37:34while we were asleep.
00:37:40God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:01Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:04Not on my watch.
00:38:09Yeah.
00:38:10I remember this.
00:38:11I remember this.
00:38:22Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:24How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:27Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:29It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:31Wonderful.
00:38:31Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:35Oh, no.
00:38:37What is that?
00:38:38Sardines and saltines.
00:38:39It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:41It was my Graham Graham's favorite
00:38:43during wartime.
00:38:44Don't be shy.
00:38:45Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:48Max, you don't have to.
00:38:49No, no.
00:38:50It's okay.
00:38:51It's a Smith family staple.
00:39:03Good morning.
00:39:04Good?
00:39:04Good?
00:39:05Good?
00:39:05Good?
00:39:06Good?
00:39:06Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:19You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:20Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:25That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:29What's the deal with them?
00:39:31Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:33Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:39:37Hey, don't worry.
00:39:39I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:43Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:47Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:39:50Wait, that earring.
00:40:04Wait, that earring.
00:40:06You like it?
00:40:08I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:10Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:13I don't really remember the details,
00:40:15but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:18Right, and it's just a common earring.
00:40:22Anyone can have it.
00:40:23Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:25She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:29So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:34But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:36What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:40An aging single mom.
00:40:43Slim pickings.
00:40:44I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:46That explains it.
00:40:48She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:51Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:52No, Ava is your niece.
00:40:54Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:56Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:00Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:02Exactly.
00:41:02Not like my Sierra.
00:41:04Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:09Oh, they're here.
00:41:12Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:13Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:18Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:19Merry Christmas.
00:41:21You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:23I am.
00:41:24I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:26Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:27Welcome.
00:41:28You're Ava's husband.
00:41:29But you're gorgeous.
00:41:34But what is handsome as you?
00:41:36Look at you two.
00:41:38You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:40Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:41Merry Christmas.
00:41:43This is for Max and I.
00:41:44Oh, my goodness.
00:41:45Thank you, Eva.
00:41:46Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:49Oops.
00:41:50Oh, my bad.
00:41:51Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:54How thrifty.
00:41:55Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:41:58Mommy's right.
00:41:59You mean all the hacks?
00:42:00You little...
00:42:02You will not lay a hand on my daughter or you will lose yours.
00:42:07Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:11Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:12My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:16He could ruin your life.
00:42:21Mommy, are you okay?
00:42:31I'm fine.
00:42:32I'm just a sweetheart.
00:42:33Yeah.
00:42:34It's okay.
00:42:34It's okay.
00:42:37What are you?
00:42:40Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:43Did you just slap me?
00:42:45Next time it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:46You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:48You know what, Sierra?
00:42:48I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:42:54Her family.
00:42:56She means me.
00:43:01You okay, honey?
00:43:02Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:05Do something.
00:43:06You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:08I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:11Oh, wow.
00:43:11I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:16Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:20Let's call him.
00:43:21I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:24Please.
00:43:25Who do you think you are?
00:43:27Enough!
00:43:29There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:32Fine, Dad.
00:43:34Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:36They're just jealous.
00:43:37For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:41I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:45I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:49Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:50All right, that's enough.
00:43:52Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:43:54Is this a joke?
00:44:16Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:18Hold it.
00:44:19Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:21My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:27My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:31King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:36Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:39And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:42It's just petty.
00:44:43Maybe so.
00:44:44But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:48Fine.
00:44:49Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:52Come on, let's go.
00:44:53No, no.
00:44:54Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:44:57Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:00I know, dear.
00:45:01I just want to have our family together.
00:45:03Fine.
00:45:04We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:07Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:09What was that?
00:45:12I just want to have our family together.
00:45:16Fine.
00:45:17We'll stay.
00:45:18Can I have a little napalm?
00:45:21It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:22We'll get something right after.
00:45:24Like drive-thru?
00:45:26I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:28That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:33No strays.
00:45:34Ow.
00:45:35Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:37Yes, sweetie.
00:45:38You hit my child.
00:45:39You're fucking crazy!
00:45:40Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:48Don't worry, baby.
00:45:49I'll handle it.
00:45:52Don't worry, baby.
00:45:53I'll handle it.
00:45:58Piper.
00:45:59Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:03Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:06Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:09As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:12Actually, I do.
00:46:14He's such a liar.
00:46:15This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:17Oh, it will be.
00:46:21Sam.
00:46:22Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:26I'm already on my way.
00:46:31Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:33I'm already on my way.
00:46:36You hear this guy?
00:46:38He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:46:40From Antarctica.
00:46:42Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:45His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:48Max, what are you doing?
00:46:50Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:51Santa's already on his way.
00:46:53Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:03A helicopter?
00:47:10There's no way.
00:47:15How did you pull this off?
00:47:17Sam is like family.
00:47:18I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:20Thanks, boss.
00:47:22Boss?
00:47:23Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:25Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:27Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:31I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:34You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:38Mm-hmm.
00:47:41Come on.
00:47:43You can stop kidding around.
00:47:45If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:48No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:51Come on.
00:47:51You can stop the charade.
00:47:53Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:47:56Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:47:59Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:02How is this possible?
00:48:14This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:21Who are you?
00:48:22I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:25That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:28Wait, no.
00:48:29Hold on.
00:48:31You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:35You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:38Hmm.
00:48:39Some of the small ones.
00:48:41I mean, you know that.
00:48:42You work for me.
00:48:44Oh, God.
00:48:44I insulted my own boss.
00:48:47I'm finished.
00:48:53Oh, God.
00:48:54I insulted my own boss.
00:48:56I'm finished.
00:48:57Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:00Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:02Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:03For tonight, your fee stands.
00:49:06And with that, your career.
00:49:09You're fired.
00:49:10Fired?
00:49:11Sam?
00:49:16Fired?
00:49:17God.
00:49:18I can't be fired.
00:49:21Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:23You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:25Please, Mr. Harrison, I'll do anything.
00:49:28Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:35And you.
00:49:36Oh, me?
00:49:38Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:40That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:42A family tradition.
00:49:43Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:46Sam?
00:49:51Will you do me the honors?
00:49:54Glassy.
00:49:58Merry Christmas, Aunt Lina.
00:50:02Father, do something.
00:50:05You know, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:07I'm leaving.
00:50:09Mmm, pumpkin, my favorite.
00:50:14Come on, sweetie.
00:50:18Daddy had this crab line just for you.
00:50:20Eat as much as you want.
00:50:22Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:26I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:28I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:30Honestly?
00:50:31This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:34Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:36Just like this.
00:50:38Does he really mean that?
00:50:40Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:42I can't tell.
00:50:43And that terrifies me.
00:50:44Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:50:51I brought you a gift.
00:50:52Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:50:55Oh.
00:51:00Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:03Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:06Tell me everything.
00:51:07Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works
00:51:12in retail.
00:51:13Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:17A high school dropout?
00:51:19In the Harrison family?
00:51:21Not a chance.
00:51:26She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:30Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:31Silence.
00:51:32Get me the address where she works.
00:51:34It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:35That's nice.
00:51:37We own that one.
00:51:39Good work.
00:51:40But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:52Thanks.
00:51:52So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:51:58Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:01And how about you?
00:52:05Me?
00:52:07Yeah.
00:52:08Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:14Eva.
00:52:25That birthmark.
00:52:26Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:33Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:35So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:37Uh, no feelings, no complications.
00:52:41That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:42Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:45Max.
00:52:46Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:47It's cold.
00:52:51Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:52:54Max.
00:52:56I need to tell you something.
00:53:00Something important.
00:53:02What's gotten into her?
00:53:04Is she hiding something?
00:53:05Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:07I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:13Piper is...
00:53:16Piper is...
00:53:18Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:21Sweetie.
00:53:22Oh my gosh.
00:53:22It's all swollen.
00:53:24Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:26Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:27Mommy's gonna go get a first date kit, okay?
00:53:32Come on, Piper.
00:53:32Okay, let me see.
00:53:40I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:44But that's not true.
00:53:45You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:49Uh...
00:53:50Daddy!
00:53:51No!
00:53:52What?
00:53:58Don't you dare disrespect my husband!
00:54:02Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:07Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:09Really?
00:54:09Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:14You think it was Scar?
00:54:18Hmm.
00:54:20I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:22Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:24I have one, too.
00:54:26Dad.
00:54:26I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:29Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:32Really?
00:54:33No way.
00:54:34No.
00:54:35It was actually a cactus.
00:54:37But it's still cool.
00:54:40I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:42Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:47My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:54:55And how old are you?
00:54:57Six.
00:54:58Six?
00:54:58That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:01Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:03Ivar, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:08What do I even say?
00:55:09And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:12Sorry, honey.
00:55:12This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:16Um, yeah.
00:55:20Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:23Ivar.
00:55:23Okay, look.
00:55:31Piper is...
00:55:35Go on.
00:55:44That must be an emergency.
00:55:46Excuse me.
00:55:48Sorry, I'm gonna take this.
00:55:53Mommy, are you okay?
00:55:57Yeah.
00:55:59Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:02I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:07Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:10I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:13She's a high school dropout.
00:56:15Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:17And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:20I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:21Max.
00:56:22That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:30I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:32You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:34Your mother would take her away.
00:56:35After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:39Eva?
00:56:41Maximus?
00:56:42Are you even listening to me?
00:56:44No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:56:45I'm sorry, okay?
00:56:47Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:56:49I'm not leaving her.
00:56:50I'm not leaving her.
00:56:52Eva?
00:56:59I need a cup.
00:57:00Ha, ha.
00:57:01Really?
00:57:02Oh, thanks, Mom.
00:57:04This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:10Oh, wow.
00:57:12That's so cool.
00:57:13Did you know?
00:57:13Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:17Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:19Thanks, guys.
00:57:20I'm glad you're here.
00:57:23Oh!
00:57:25Wow!
00:57:26Damn, these are nice.
00:57:27Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:30Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:37It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:39Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:40Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:42Ready?
00:57:42Ready?
00:57:43Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:45What do we got, guys?
00:57:46Billy.
00:57:46Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:57:52You never told me...
00:57:53...
00:57:53...
00:57:54...
00:57:54...
00:57:55Have we met before?
00:58:01Have we met before?
00:58:04She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:09I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:12Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:23I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:24Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:26They're very common.
00:58:27I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:30No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:34Maybe.
00:58:37Are you okay?
00:58:40Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:43No.
00:58:45I'm fine.
00:58:47Um.
00:58:48Oh, I almost forgot.
00:58:52I got you this.
00:58:53You got me a gift, too?
00:58:55Tis the season.
00:58:57Open it.
00:59:11Gloves.
00:59:12Did you make these?
00:59:13Yeah.
00:59:16I know this is a fake marriage, but...
00:59:18...that's Christmas.
00:59:20You've already done so much for me.
00:59:21I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:25How did I feel?
00:59:27Warm, right?
00:59:28Yeah.
00:59:30Warm.
00:59:32Soft.
00:59:35Perfect.
00:59:35Perfect.
00:59:36Thank you, Eva.
00:59:40Thank you, Eva.
00:59:41I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:59:45Really?
00:59:47Yeah, my mom.
00:59:48She partied all the time.
00:59:50And I got gifts.
00:59:52Plenty of them, but...
00:59:54I don't think she ever bought one herself.
00:59:57Nothing personal.
01:00:00Well, you deserve it.
01:00:02You're a good guy.
01:00:04And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:10And what if that day's today?
01:00:16What if I already found someone special?
01:00:20Right here.
01:00:21Right here.
01:00:21Right here.
01:00:40Max, we can't.
01:00:48If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:00:56Come on.
01:00:57I don't want you to stop.
01:01:05No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:10I don't want you.
01:01:23I don't want you.
01:01:30Oh, God.
01:01:32You are trying to be fucking insane.
01:01:36I don't want you to stop.
01:01:38Parker!
01:01:40I don't want you to stop.
01:01:47Piper?
01:01:50She can't see me.
01:02:08Eva?
01:02:10Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:26That was way too close.
01:02:28Yeah.
01:02:29We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:31Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:39Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:44You still haven't given me mine.
01:02:50Let me give it to you.
01:02:52I don't know.
01:03:15I don't want you.
01:03:16Why are you calling me this morning?
01:03:35Hello?
01:03:36Hello, Eva Smith.
01:03:37I'm Max's mother.
01:03:39Name your price.
01:03:40What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:43What?
01:03:44We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:03:48Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:03:52My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:03:56Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:00So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:07Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:14You okay?
01:04:18Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:22So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:26What are you talking about?
01:04:27It's over.
01:04:28It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:34Eva, wait!
01:04:35So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:44Max, it's not real.
01:04:46None of it was real.
01:04:48So, this is just a goodbye?
01:04:52Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:04:54Look.
01:04:57Last night, I let my guard down.
01:05:01But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:04And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:06Just tell me what you need.
01:05:09I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:05:14Just say the word.
01:05:15You don't get it.
01:05:20You don't get it.
01:05:22You don't get it.
01:05:30I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:37I won't give up on us.
01:05:45Are we here?
01:05:55Yes.
01:05:57As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:04Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:06We're home.
01:06:11How can she just walk away?
01:06:15Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:22It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:24Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:28You promised.
01:06:30Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:32Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:35All right, fine.
01:06:37When?
01:06:39Two days.
01:06:40I'll come pick you up.
01:06:41No need.
01:06:43Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:06:50I know you and Mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:06:55So don't give up.
01:06:56Okay, Daddy?
01:06:58Thank you, sweetie.
01:06:59If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:07:01I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:03I love.
01:07:24Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:25Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:28Boss?
01:07:30Boss?
01:07:34Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:07:37I need to go win back my family.
01:07:39Family?
01:07:40Boss, you okay?
01:07:42Never better.
01:07:45Go get her, Max.
01:07:46Give it your best smile.
01:07:51Ah, there he is.
01:07:54Maximus, darling.
01:07:56I have some prospects for you.
01:07:58Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:07I told you, I already found the woman I love.
01:08:09Maximus, stop this.
01:08:17That Eva woman is scamming your son.
01:08:21Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:25You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:28No, I'm not.
01:08:30Oh?
01:08:31I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:08:36I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:08:41What?
01:08:55Ah, that's her.
01:08:57The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:02Hi, welcome in.
01:09:03Can I help you find something?
01:09:05I want to try those.
01:09:10Awesome, I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:13Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:18No, no, no.
01:09:20I know what I want.
01:09:22Size 7.
01:09:24Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:28Come on, she wants the white shoes.
01:09:32Ignore her, she's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:38Here, let me help you.
01:09:40Come on.
01:09:44She seems kind.
01:09:51I shouldn't be that impressed, she's just doing her job.
01:09:56How do they feel?
01:09:58Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:10:02I think I need a size up.
01:10:04Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:06Right away.
01:10:09I'll be right back.
01:10:10She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:10:14Was I wrong about her?
01:10:15Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:32Well, who gives a shit? She can't walk.
01:10:37That's just pure evil.
01:10:43Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:10:47She's in a wheelchair.
01:10:49Who cares? It's the last pair.
01:10:50I get paid commission.
01:10:51I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:00See?
01:11:02This is your whole problem.
01:11:04This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:09I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:12I'm not selling her joke.
01:11:14She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:18People who insult her all day?
01:11:20I'm your manager.
01:11:25Sell the old bitty the shoes, or you're fired.
01:11:29Did I stutter?
01:11:41You don't have to fire me.
01:11:44I quit.
01:11:50I don't work here anymore.
01:11:53Listen, don't buy the shoes.
01:11:56They're broken.
01:11:57Spend your harder money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:58You're a good person, after all.
01:12:02Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:05I'm sorry?
01:12:07Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:10Get out!
01:12:16You're not disabled?
01:12:18Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:22Absolutely shameful.
01:12:24Who are you?
01:12:25I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group, and the owner of this store.
01:12:32You're Eleanor Harrison, mother of the CEO?
01:12:36I am.
01:12:37And you, my dear, are fired!
01:12:41What did I do?
01:12:45You are a good person.
01:12:47From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:12:50Are you serious?
01:12:51That's right.
01:12:52Don't be nervous, child.
01:12:53You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:12:57You, out!
01:12:58I'll leave.
01:12:59I'm leaving.
01:13:00I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:02No, don't worry.
01:13:03You're getting a promotion.
01:13:04You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:05You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:10First assignment.
01:13:11I want that row, and that row, and the entire row, and the entire row.
01:13:12I'm leaving.
01:13:13I'm leaving.
01:13:14I'm leaving.
01:13:16I'm leaving.
01:13:20I...
01:13:21I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:22No, don't worry.
01:13:25You're getting a promotion.
01:13:28You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:32First assignment.
01:13:34I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:13:40Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:13:43house okay yeah once we're home i'll tell her i'm her mother-in-law i can't wait to finally meet my
01:13:53granddaughter she's the mother of ceo of course she lives like this
01:14:13mrs harrison i'm here with your delivery
01:14:16max eva what are you doing here i uh there you are eva wonderful we can finally meet each other
01:14:30properly my new daughter-in-law what are you
01:14:35that means you really are the ceo of harrison group
01:14:41well i tried to tell you but stop and you you lied to me at the store
01:14:50you were both just testing me is this some sick game rich people play i'm sorry eva i thought you
01:14:57might be using my son just after his money but i was wrong eva please i don't deserve to be treated
01:15:04like this not every working class girl is after your money how could you think that of me it's not
01:15:11like that dear eva what are you talking about mom what did you do i i was just trying to get the
01:15:18two of you back together we're not together and i can't love something that was never real
01:15:24i made a horrible mistake what are you waiting for son go after her
01:15:34eva let me go i swear it's not what you think we come from two completely different worlds stop
01:15:43pretending like you care i'm not pretending okay i can't fake what we have and everything i've done
01:15:48for you and piper this is real touch my wife again and i will snap every finger that you've got
01:15:59max you came god you weren't driving me fucking insane
01:16:03i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband a good father just say the word
01:16:10see stop fighting we belong together you're wrong wrong about what that you care or we belong
01:16:28together look i already told you we're from two completely different worlds now i held up my end
01:16:33of the deal and i met your mother like we discussed i want a fake divorce from my fake cousin
01:16:38eva eva eva i'm sorry maximus walking away is the only choice i have
01:16:51ow are you okay mommy yeah sweetie i'm fine
01:17:03no you're not fine you're sad i'm okay sweetie
01:17:18i miss daddy too
01:17:22i want max to be my real daddy
01:17:27don't you want to be with him
01:17:31love bug you're right what am i doing running like a coward
01:17:39i've always taught you to be brave now it's time for mommy to be brave too
01:17:46i believe in you what are you gonna do mommy
01:17:49i know exactly what to say to him
01:17:53maximus deserves to know hyper is his daughter
01:17:59enough sulking go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:18:10don't you think i want to she doesn't want me
01:18:15i didn't raise you to give up your daughter is still out there you can't abandon her
01:18:20mom you don't get it i made a deal with eva to play my wife
01:18:25and piper she was an added bonus
01:18:29what are you talking about i already ran a dna test
01:18:34hyper is your daughter what see for yourself
01:18:43i was right seven years ago new year's that woman was eva
01:19:00eva hey daddy daddy
01:19:07piper oh i missed you so much sweetheart
01:19:18you came back
01:19:22i uh
01:19:25don't forget to be brave mommy
01:19:27i uh i was scared but i don't want to be scared anymore
01:19:39because what we have is real and it's worth fighting for
01:19:43sweetheart i have something to tell you i have something to tell you too
01:19:48piper is your daughter you knew my sweet granddaughter
01:20:00well i just found out for sure a few minutes ago but you've known this whole time
01:20:05i was scared okay i didn't know if you were going to take her from me i didn't know how you were
01:20:10feeling how could you not know how i felt
01:20:25i love you eva
01:20:28i love you too
01:20:30i promise for the rest of my life i'm going to make it up to you
01:20:33as long as we're together it doesn't matter where we are
01:20:49will you marry me even for real this time yes yes of course i'll marry you
01:20:56it looks like you're stuck with me the next christmas and the christmas after that and forever
01:21:16i wouldn't have it any other way
01:21:17who's that
01:21:36looks like i have to take out the trash again
01:21:42no not funny
01:21:47no not funny
01:21:50no not funny
01:21:53no not funny
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