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FunTranscript
00:00Pitch.
00:04Star is gone.
00:05I feel a little responsible and a little guilty,
00:09but also a little like, ooh.
00:11At least you're not coming back in the work
00:13and we're going to be mad at me.
00:14I'm so heartbroken right now.
00:16I don't deserve to be here, but I look so pussy.
00:21Just know I will always be a star.
00:24P.S. Van, you owe me, sis.
00:27God.
00:28I'm her buddy.
00:30I'm feeling a lot of adrenaline from the lip sync,
00:32a lot of anger, a lot of heartbreak for Star.
00:36I'm like definitely in my feels right now
00:38and I need to let some things out.
00:40Wow, wow, wow, wow.
00:42Oh, low Keisha, no shade.
00:44I'm gagged you weren't in the bottom.
00:46I'm surprised by that choice.
00:48It was like an impossible choice
00:49because I think Caramel, like you did better
00:52in the challenge for sure.
00:53I looked at the competition overall
00:55and I thought that Velma had a better track record.
00:58Ultimately, I choose to save Velma
01:00and this is a strategic move, I have to be honest.
01:02Who's going to be able to help me long term?
01:05And I feel like that person is Velma.
01:07I'm a little pissed off.
01:08I was kind of gagged in that moment
01:09because I do feel like I did better in the challenge.
01:12The way you did the challenge bombed what you did before.
01:17In my opinion, I just felt like I should have been saved.
01:19I just feel like it's fake as fuck and I'm not here for it.
01:23Looking at the fact that like almost every girl in here
01:25said that they would save me,
01:27I was really shocked that you chose Velma.
01:30At the end of the day, the judges said that you were shut down.
01:33Your look was good also like me.
01:35It was not like that clear.
01:36I do think my critiques were better.
01:38Like they said they laughed.
01:40Well, they laughed at the same joke.
01:41They said that you weren't funny though.
01:42They said they didn't laugh at anything.
01:44I just think Velma's bullshit.
01:45Are we in the same room?
01:47Are we hearing the same thing?
01:48Like, is your brain not working?
01:50You like didn't get any laughs like they said you weren't funny.
01:53It's okay, no problem.
01:54Everybody is shocked.
01:56Everybody thought that it would be caramel.
01:59This is something that I will remember forever.
02:02So what was your decision, Ben?
02:04I'll be the first one to say it.
02:06I think Star's a threat.
02:07So I was like, what's the point of saving her?
02:10I think I can read PM better than I can read Star.
02:14I don't know what Star's gonna do.
02:16And I just wasn't willing to take that risk.
02:18Caramel, I'm just so happy you won with no makeup on.
02:21That part, that part.
02:25Not even a lick of eyeshadow.
02:27Just bare face with a wig.
02:29I know this week is controversial, but I do feel a little...
02:36But I think it's time to get out of drag.
02:39Yes, please.
02:40Let's not fucking get out of drag.
02:42Season six is playing the game.
02:44The beaver's making me feel crazy because I don't know how it's going to be played.
02:49No one's sticking to, like, the previous seasons where it was boring and their, like, track record.
02:53You got it?
02:54You can't bet on an alliance.
02:57I don't believe anyone's actually gonna stay true to their world.
03:00Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
03:04The winner of Canada's Drag Race receives $100,000.
03:08With Tracy Melshore, Carson Kressley, and Brooklyn Heights.
03:14With extra special guest judge, Alyssa Edwards.
03:18It's a new day in the workroom, and the target on my back has just grown bigger.
03:29So I gotta make sure that I'm still in that top spot so none of these girls can try to ask me.
03:34We made it another week.
03:35Yes!
03:36We got some wins on the board now.
03:39I have a win.
03:41Salty has a win.
03:42Van Gogh's got two wins.
03:43I'm coming up right next.
03:45Yes!
03:46Now, listen here.
03:47One half of the Scissor Sisters already got her wins.
03:49So it's my turn to snip, snip, snip, snip my way up to the top.
03:53I really didn't have a good week.
03:55I know it was a fiasco.
03:57I don't know how to land a plane.
03:59It's really important that I bounce back,
04:01because, of course, they're gonna eat me alive if it's not the case.
04:06Hey, buddy!
04:07Do you remember being an alliance, female alliance?
04:11I don't recall talking about an alliance.
04:13It's a record.
04:14There's no record.
04:16Oh, it's me dead.
04:17Oh, good.
04:18The girls are over here.
04:19Oh, yes, of course.
04:20If I'm on the top, I'll say, if they're in Nevada and vice versa.
04:23Of course.
04:24Girl, Vemma got me goofed up this morning.
04:27In all tea, I low-key had an alliance with Star.
04:30That's not true.
04:31Stop it.
04:33Dirty Alliance Laundry is being aired.
04:35Girl, I saw an opportunity, and I took it.
04:38Well, I appreciate you taking that opportunity.
04:41I know I had a floppy on a week.
04:43I am not delusional, but I did walk my ass off on the runway.
04:47Yes, you did.
04:48After my sister Hazel didn't have my back twice.
04:51Here we go.
04:52First doesn't let me choose, and then he says I should get in the bottom.
04:56I am ready to let Hazel have it.
04:59I just want to shake them a little bit and also let them know that they shouldn't have done what they did.
05:04So what I'm seeing is these alliances that y'all made don't mean anything.
05:08Don't mean anything.
05:09Don't mean anything.
05:10Girl, they don't be sure.
05:11This table chat is so revealing.
05:14These bitches have no integrity at all.
05:18And that's okay, because I know that I'm looking out for myself now.
05:22Hey, page turners.
05:23Hey.
05:24There's nothing I love more than a nice hard cover.
05:37So grab your reading glasses, and don't forget to follow the rubric.
05:44Whoa.
05:45Bonjour, Valas.
05:47Hello.
05:48I'm getting so good at being Canadian.
05:52Now you all look amazing, but every queen can use a little help.
05:57Lucky for you in today's mini challenge, I'll be holding one-on-one styling sessions.
06:02Hey.
06:03We'll talk all things fashion, and in the end, I'll select my style superstar on the rise.
06:10So take 10 minutes to slip into D-list fashionista quick drag.
06:14Okay.
06:15Then meet me in my atelier, and I'll decide if you're a red flag or red carpet royalty.
06:20Ooh.
06:21Can I get a yes and?
06:22Yes and.
06:23Can I get a yes and Murray?
06:26Yes and Murray.
06:28On your marks, get set, pose.
06:31Oh, yeah!
06:34Go, go, go!
06:35Ah!
06:36Ah!
06:37Oh, my God!
06:39This is crazy.
06:41First mini challenge of the season, and I've never done quick drag before.
06:46We'll see how it looks.
06:50Oh, you better, bitch.
06:52I'm here.
06:53Ah!
06:54Good to see me, isn't it?
06:55I put on my finest pigeon coat, my wine-stained tube top dress, and I am ready to get this fashion consultation on the go.
07:12I'm so excited to be here.
07:13Thank you so much.
07:14I'm a big fan of yours.
07:15Oh, my God.
07:16Did you catch me in RuPaul's Roller Boogie 47?
07:19I saw 48.
07:20I skipped 47.
07:21I probably need to see that.
07:22You do.
07:23I was server number three.
07:24Let me see the top of your head.
07:25Oh, my God.
07:26Yes, I remember that scene.
07:27Yes, yes.
07:28Can I come in?
07:29Abs, I wish you would.
07:30I'm coming in.
07:31Okay, thank you so much.
07:34My agent sent me here because apparently I need some style help.
07:38Oh, girl, look at you.
07:40Oh, gosh.
07:41What have you been up to lately?
07:43I haven't seen you in a minute.
07:44Oh, my God.
07:45I did a commercial for a laxative.
07:47Oh, okay.
07:48It was explosive.
07:49I auditioned on American Idol.
07:50Oh, you did?
07:51Yeah.
07:52It didn't air, though.
07:53Look at you.
07:54You're like some kind of glamour leprechaun.
07:55Exactly.
07:56My name is Patricia.
07:57Pat, if you're nasty.
07:59You have seen me in the magazines, Carson.
08:02Oh, okay.
08:03This nose knows no boundaries.
08:06I won Miss Lobster Roll 2004 in Shizyak.
08:10That's how I know you.
08:11I knew you knew me from somewhere.
08:13And how would you describe your style in three words?
08:16I think I would do skinny for sure.
08:18It would be the first one.
08:19Punk out of bed.
08:21Punk out of bed.
08:23Cheat.
08:24That's five words.
08:25This is my new pigeon coat.
08:26Pigeon is very in right now.
08:27Is it?
08:28It is, yeah.
08:29Okay.
08:30Baby, this is chicken feathers from our own coop.
08:33Okay.
08:34It's farm to closet.
08:35Oh, yes.
08:36Oh, right.
08:37I mean, your bosoms are, um, I feel like they're coming out.
08:40They're coming out?
08:41That might be something we can work on.
08:42I need some style help.
08:44Is this beaver?
08:45It's actually my back hair.
08:47It is.
08:48Yeah.
08:49I thought, take it off the back and put it on the front.
08:50Put your thing down and flipped it and reversed it.
08:52I loved it.
08:53I love that shoe.
08:54Oh, yeah, thanks.
08:55The shoe matches always, Carson.
08:56You're so flexible to rich.
08:59That's what gets me the covers.
09:00Uh, what do you think of my outfit?
09:02I do like your, uh, your pocket handkerchief.
09:05Oh, thank you.
09:06Yes.
09:07The pocket square.
09:08Oh, I love a pocket square.
09:09It looks like a triangle to me.
09:11I know.
09:12I know.
09:13Who cares about geometry?
09:14I think people are having sex in that window behind us.
09:16Oh, hold on.
09:17Let me see.
09:18Let me see.
09:19Oh, my gosh.
09:20Look at them.
09:21Oh, my God.
09:22I just love love.
09:23I know.
09:24All right.
09:25We'll just try to avert our eyes.
09:26For some of your favorite style influencers.
09:28I think her name's Melinda Verga.
09:30Melinda Verga.
09:31Melinda Verga.
09:32Oh, what an interesting choice.
09:34Brooklyn Heights.
09:35Really?
09:36I saw those lace eyebrows, and I just needed some of them myself.
09:40You see that right there?
09:41I'll lift up them.
09:42Wow.
09:43Oh, wow.
09:44They look so real.
09:45Oh, thank you.
09:46I think you're hypnotizing me.
09:47Oh, my goodness.
09:48I think you are an amazing astrophysicist.
09:54One sec, one sec.
09:55Let me flap it out of you.
09:56Oh.
09:57Oh, wow.
09:58God, I feel...
09:59What just happened?
10:00We should probably see you do a little runway walk.
10:03I am a little sore from last night, so I'll try my best.
10:05Oh, God.
10:06Did you fall?
10:07No, I just had too much food.
10:08Oh, look at that.
10:09Over here.
10:11Oh, God.
10:12Oh, goodness.
10:13Chiropractor.
10:14Faster.
10:15Faster.
10:16Faster.
10:17Turn.
10:18And a little jog.
10:19A light jog.
10:20A light jog.
10:21Oh, yeah, that's good.
10:22Oh, yes.
10:23Lead with the knees.
10:24I remember this from Moncton Fashion Week.
10:27And that is the actual lobster roll.
10:30Mm-hmm.
10:32That's so unique.
10:33I walked like that once after a week in Barbados.
10:36Okay.
10:37Okay.
10:38My spoons came out.
10:39Oh, my God.
10:40Where were those?
10:41This is when I lost Mr. Lobster Roll 2005.
10:43Hold on.
10:44Added talent.
10:45All right, I think we're done here.
10:48So get out.
10:49Okay.
10:50Thank you so much.
10:51Thank you so much.
10:52I'll find you on the Moncton Facebook page.
10:54Thanks so much.
10:55I'm banned.
10:56I'm sure you are.
10:58Well, in a room full of D-listers, one of you was an A+.
11:03The winner of today's mini-challenge is...
11:08Sammy Landry.
11:09Oh, yeah.
11:10Good job.
11:11Yes.
11:12Good work.
11:15You have won $2,500 cash courtesy of Swish Embassy.
11:21Ooh.
11:22Oh, my.
11:23All right.
11:24Now that we're all warmed up, it's time to sizzle your sisters.
11:27Because for this week's maxi-challenge, it's the return of the reading battles.
11:32Oh!
11:34You'll face off against one of your fellow queens and take turns trading burns.
11:40It is the reading battles.
11:41We've all seen it.
11:42Some of us may not love it.
11:44Reading is an art form.
11:46It is something that not everybody can do because you have to be smart.
11:50And a lot of these girls are so stupid.
11:53The goal is simple.
11:55Win your battle and secure your safety.
11:57Lose your battle and, well, you might be in danger, girl.
12:01And the funniest queen of the night will win the maxi-challenge.
12:06But first, you need a reading buddy.
12:08Sammy Landry, as the winner of the mini-challenge, you will select your rival.
12:13Let me get a look here.
12:15Let me get a look.
12:16I get to pick my opponent first.
12:19Who do I want to destroy?
12:22I'm gonna go for P.M.
12:24Yes.
12:25I fucking hate you so much.
12:27I hate you more.
12:29Now I will choose a queen at random and they will pick their opponent.
12:33Hazel.
12:38Who the fuck do I want to choose?
12:41Who is on the same level as me?
12:44I think I'm gonna go with Caramel.
12:48Okay.
12:50Dulce.
12:52I know everyone thinks I'm gonna go Pigman, but I'm not sure.
12:57I kind of wanted to surprise them.
12:58You know what?
12:59I'm gonna go with Velma.
13:01Work.
13:02Work.
13:03Okay, so Dulce versus Velma.
13:05All right, let's find our next name.
13:10Ebony LaBelle.
13:11Here we go.
13:15So which of y'all bitches would call me annoying?
13:20You wanted it to be Salt versus Pepper so bad.
13:23So you know what?
13:24I'm gonna choose Maya Fox.
13:30So it's Ebony versus Maya.
13:32And that means it's Saltina versus Van Gogh.
13:35Fate leaves me and Van together and I cannot wait to read her down.
13:45To help you get up in this gig, you'll get some help from our extra special guest judge.
13:50But I'll let her introduce herself.
13:52Oh!
13:53Racers, start your engines.
13:55And may the best drag queen read.
13:58My name is Alyssa Edwards and I am a very established and seasoned queen.
14:07I mean truly.
14:08What the fuck am I actually doing here in Canada?
14:11Where's Brooklyn Heights?
14:15Oh my god!
14:17I am gooped, gagged, and bewildered.
14:21Holy fuck!
14:22She is like my favorite drag queen of all time.
14:27Tell me, are we ready for the reading battle?
14:30Yeah!
14:31The girls wanna battle!
14:32Y'all, this is fun.
14:33I know what you all are feeling right now.
14:35But I think if you turn off the voices in your head sometimes,
14:39and allow yourself to giggle and laugh,
14:42and if you're confident in your skin unapologetically,
14:45the judges will enjoy it.
14:46Yeah, I feel like it is hard because it's like you don't wanna offend the person.
14:49Why don't you wanna offend them in a reading battle?
14:51Honey, there's a cash prize.
14:53There is a check waving to you.
14:54You better get to offending everybody.
14:56All the girls think that I'm an easy target in this challenge,
14:59and I'm sure Hazel thinks she has it in the bag.
15:02But I feel like if anything, that just fuels my fire.
15:04I mean, Alyssa Edwards gave me the hint, so I need to come in hard.
15:08So if a joke doesn't land, how do you keep rolling?
15:14Guess what, I'm laughing first.
15:15Yes, okay.
15:16Okay, because if you can't make yourself laugh,
15:18how the fuck are you gonna make somebody else laugh?
15:21You're gonna make somebody else and get somebody at home laugh.
15:23Many times in season five, me telling myself I can't do this or this or this,
15:27oh, hell, bitch.
15:29You could do all of that.
15:30It might not be as fast or as sharp as someone else,
15:34but what you do is authentically, unapologetically you.
15:38And when you bring that to this competition, that's when you soar.
15:42Do you have any advice, like maybe right before you walk in,
15:44to like kind of tell yourself, or does that just kind of tie in to pretty much?
15:47No, I think being a performer, it's natural to be nervous
15:49because we're passionate about it, right?
15:51We want to do good.
15:52We want to be a symbol of excellence.
15:53We want to be the best version of ourselves.
15:55So it's natural to be nervous, especially when you're passionate about something.
15:58And I think that's good.
15:59Hearing Alyssa say that like, if you have nerves, it's because you're passionate,
16:03kind of makes me feel a little bit more at ease
16:05because I feel like I've been really nervous pretty much this whole competition,
16:08but it's because it means a lot to me.
16:10This isn't just a game.
16:11Like, this is something I really want.
16:13Bring that backstage drag banter.
16:15Bring that to the main stage.
16:17I'm excited to see all this.
16:19I'm excited.
16:20And I believe in you all, all right?
16:21Now let me meet y'all's opponents.
16:22Get the hell up out of here.
16:23I love Miss Alyssa's motherfucking air words.
16:34That is so gaggy.
16:35Are y'all gagged?
16:36Alyssa is that type of girl that just knows how to throw it back right at you.
16:40And she could give us some really, really, really good advice.
16:43I'm Sammy Landry.
16:44Oh, wait, say that again.
16:46Sammy Landry.
16:47Sammy.
16:48Sammy.
16:49Sammy.
16:50Sammy.
16:51Landry.
16:52That's the experience.
16:53That's the experience.
16:54What does that mean?
16:55It means my name.
16:56Landry.
16:57Landry.
16:58It's French.
16:59Clearly.
17:00Yes.
17:01Who thinks they're really going to excel in this?
17:02I feel like I'm going to surprise myself.
17:03You better do that, honey, or you better be a good lip-syncer.
17:06I can actually have a lip-syncer.
17:07I can perform down.
17:08I know all about that because I thought I was fucking hilarious, bitch.
17:11You were cackling.
17:12You were having a hoot and a hauls.
17:14And I was obsessed with that.
17:15The judges didn't.
17:16They were like, what?
17:17Alyssa, were you entertained us there thoroughly?
17:19But I'm a storyteller.
17:21I learned very quickly in these kind of challenges, sometimes less is best.
17:25And when it's less is best, you can get a lot more snappy.
17:28Punch.
17:29You get to the punch.
17:30And delivery can be everything.
17:31Yes.
17:32Sometimes for me, for my character, I could read a children's book and make it funny.
17:35Yeah.
17:36Just really sell your character with it.
17:37Yes.
17:38Alyssa is giving us some solid comedy advice.
17:41This is all in fun.
17:42Just drag.
17:43It's just drag.
17:44It's not personal.
17:45It's just drag.
17:46I don't know how to protect or test, but I think some of these queens are over here playing too Canadian and nice.
17:50And I think some of them are quite shady.
17:53I'll stay tuned.
17:55That sounds good.
18:00Oh my God.
18:02Okay.
18:03Alyssa Edwards.
18:04Alyssa.
18:05Motherfucking Edwards.
18:06She came to Moncton.
18:08No way.
18:092018.
18:10I opened for a show that she did in Montreal.
18:13So you said it was around 2018.
18:1518, yeah.
18:16How long have you been doing drag again?
18:18Nine years.
18:19Nine years?
18:20I started in a drag competition and I won the contest.
18:24And at the end, I found the heart of drag being my heart.
18:29My art.
18:30Art.
18:31But yeah, a little bit of this too.
18:34The only way to get good at it and the only way to figure out your drag is with a lot of experience.
18:40Exactly.
18:41I didn't have shows and gigs that much because they didn't want to book me.
18:46It was a challenge to be booked for gigs.
18:49I was feeling the hate more from the older queens than my sisters.
18:54It's been nine years, but it's like the two last years that I really, really had jobs and I did my experience.
19:02I'm such a fighter, so I just keep on going.
19:05It's a little bit sad.
19:06I'm like, I wish I had the chance that my sisters that started with me had.
19:12I'm really happy that I have a place here and that I can be celebrating this heart.
19:18So, do you want to...
19:19Yeah, let's wish you to get to work.
19:20Yeah.
19:21But it wasn't...
19:23Wait, did you get...
19:25No, I got chosen.
19:26Who chose you?
19:27Ebony chose me.
19:28So you're easy to read.
19:29Apparently.
19:30Apparently.
19:31Ebony is a really big personality and I just need to make sure that she doesn't see more
19:35of me in this challenge.
19:36I need to take my space up and stand out my own way.
19:39Oh, girl.
19:40Oh, girl.
19:41They ain't ready to go.
19:42I am so happy I'm sitting with my sisters, Miss Vanessa Goth and Ebony, because they are the funniest bitches in the room.
19:49And I need some help.
19:50I chose Maya.
19:51I don't really know too much about her.
19:53But that didn't stop me from writing a lot of jokes.
19:56Maya did win Snatch Game last week, so I know she's good at improv.
19:59And what if she takes away the momentum from my jokes with a good clap back?
20:05Are we feeling a little devious today?
20:07Well, yeah.
20:08Well, yes.
20:09I feel like we all didn't get to pick, right?
20:11All three of us?
20:12Yeah.
20:13I didn't get to pick, but I got who I wanted.
20:14Oh, really?
20:15Really?
20:16Yes.
20:17Okay.
20:18You know, Dan has a big target on her back with two wins.
20:19Mm-hmm.
20:20And I feel like I could, you know, maybe make her a little less comfortable.
20:25I'm happy that you're going against her because I feel like you can really...
20:28Yeah.
20:29I hope her...
20:30I don't want her to get out the win.
20:31I want to deflate her ego.
20:33Just a little...
20:34You know?
20:35I would have picked Hazel because I know Hazel the best.
20:39And I know...
20:40Well, tell me about it.
20:41Oh, we will.
20:42We will.
20:43I want to, like, dig in deep.
20:44Yeah.
20:45And we will dig deep today.
20:46I'm going to give Caramilk a couple of little zingers or things they can dig at
20:52that might throw Hazel off their game because Hazel definitely threw my game off last week
20:57by not choosing me.
20:58Do you think everyone else is leaving Shady?
20:59I hope so.
21:00No.
21:01I think everyone's going...
21:02I think everybody's...
21:03Look at them.
21:04They're all overlooking at us.
21:05Oh, my God.
21:06Okay.
21:07So, let's talk in French.
21:08Oh, my God.
21:09Thank God.
21:10Thank God.
21:11Thank God.
21:12Thank God.
21:13I'm a man.
21:14I'm not a man.
21:15I'm not a man.
21:16I'm not a man.
21:17I'm just a man.
21:18I'm not a man.
21:19I'm just a man.
21:20I'm just a man.
21:21I love you too.
21:22But you know...
21:23Like, in the end of the day, it's just a man.
21:26Yeah.
21:27Like, you can act evil.
21:28Yeah.
21:29But just a man.
21:30That's right.
21:31i believe you can go as nasty dirty and deep as you can go if it's funny it's okay
21:51this week i know i have to be really prepared the order of the word
21:57are so important in comedy so for me i know i have to practice practice practice practice and
22:04practice to success
22:27body tough and what when life hands you limes put them in your hat welcome to the main stage of
22:38canada's drag race she's my favorite naughty librarian it's tracy malshore hey brook brook
22:45hi trace what is your favorite kind of read petulance oh noted and it's style superstar
22:53carson kressley carson what are you still doing here oh well i came for the poutine but i stayed
22:59for the mount me's i think you mean the mounties no i mean mount me's and it's the pride and joy of
23:06mesquite texas the winner of global all-stars alissa edwards i'm back back back back back again
23:14alissa you've never been here only in my dreams
23:17this week we put our queen's literacy to the test in the reading battles racers start your engines
23:25and may the best drag queen win
23:32category is my chemical reaction first up hazel my chemical reaction is inspired by
23:41metallicizing there is the silver plated side and then the gold is metallicizing all over it
23:50if only she had a brain bitch fuck joan of art it's hazel of art i'm here to stomp on this competition
23:57thank you for being an alloy
24:02maya fox
24:05i'm ready to serve you eruption baby i am the volcano we have rubble all on this down
24:11we've got lava coming out it is moving it is flowing she is smoking that's my mount vesuvacissi
24:19i'm really selling this head to toe i am melting all over this stage what a hot head
24:25pompey i say ebony labelle
24:30miss ebony she's getting ready to go to the gala she got her pretty dress on she got her hair up in her
24:35rollers honey she's reading the good old bell magazine shootin high here and i turn
24:41around boom now she done turns it and burns it the whole back is burnt to a crisp but isn't she so
24:48glamorous hair today gone tomorrow pm my runway is inspired by the chemical reaction bleach another
24:59plaque plaque plaque plaque plaque again on one side of me i am plaqued i am disgusting i am a deep coffee
25:07stained yellow and then on the other side i am showing you pearly and white get up to three shades
25:13lighter in just two weeks fanned off my runway is inspired by the chemical reaction decaying now that
25:22right there is rigamorous i wanted to be in kind of a half state of decaying so i got bones coming
25:30out baby i'm giving you horror i'm giving you spooky spooky it takes a lot of backbone to wear a look like
25:39this caramel who doesn't love a melted chocolate bar what's up spudge this week i really wanted to show
25:49something more sexy i just wanted to go down the runway with my oiled up legs and show the girls that
25:54i can really stretch down i think i see her ganache caramel is melting the hearts of the judges
26:02sammy laundry my chemical reaction is inspired by crystallization oh my god i crystallized you guys
26:12i don't know how crystallization works i'm not a scientist i'm a drag queen now that right there
26:17was marilyn monho i wanted to challenge myself and push myself and show the judges that i hear the
26:24critiques this is the glam sammy saltina shaker my runway is inspired by the chemical reaction of cryogenesis
26:33that's me freezing it's kate minus eight fahrenheit i have these pipes going into my suit pumping oxygen
26:45but i'm slowly freezing to death putting the cyst in cryogenesis she's giving us the cold shoulder
26:55i'm rolling down this runway like i have a rock and at the very end i bust open and you see everything
27:00that's inside of me i could see her grand canyon a lot of browns a lot of like almost orangey colors
27:07maybe a bit of crystallization which is why the rhinestones are all placed and scattered everywhere
27:12i want to show the judges that i don't always just wear a gown not a soul could rock
27:17belma jones the graceful mother nature has arrived it's precipitation but passion
27:24the hair clouds is charged with water the rain is pouring to the cold ground becoming ice here she
27:33is world it's stormy daniels i want to take my time for the judges to really take it in and really
27:41appreciate all the details is that a first time a woman's ever made you wet
27:44welcome to reading battles tonight two queens will face off in a read-off you will exchange burns and
28:01land as many hits as you can the winner of each battle will secure their spot in the competition
28:08and the funniest queen of the night will be our maxi winner we will also name a bottom three from
28:15the losers of their battles so don't hold back
28:27welcome to our first battle the only thing whiter than her face is her dancing it's van gogh
28:34and just like her hometown ottawa she's had a bunch of angry truckers in her it's saltina shaker
28:46let the reading begin hello everyone my name is van god i am the little devil with the list
28:52also known as the front runner of the competition saltina is so desperate for another win she's battling
28:59the girl with the speech impediment and she's still gonna lose but it'll remind her of week one
29:07all right hi ladies and gentlemen uh whatever the p.m is how are we doing tonight
29:14you know van it looks like somebody squished your face but it also sounds like somebody squished your face
29:22so tina you are the queen of social media and i want you to show us how to do one of those amazing
29:29transitions right now from the main stage back to ottawa what do vans filler and canadian geese have in
29:40common they're both migrating as we speak
29:44well i went to brooklyn's doctor so i know
29:56van walks into a bar is something i would say if caramel didn't steal all her bookings
30:01albert einstein invented the theory of relativity my theory your parents were relatives
30:16i want to leave you all with some homework do y'all know what a blobfish is
30:22a blobfish if you don't know what it is look it up when you get back home and
30:26let me know what you think let me know what you think um hence it's hideous thank you guys
30:39well done the reading battle is on a real uh war of words lots of casualties and collateral damage
30:46over here van goth i can tell that you host i can tell that you are comfortable commanding a room
30:51saltina you had some great zingers in there canada goose migration i was like wait they
30:56make more than just jackets i was a little worried about you at first but you really found your
31:01rhythm at the end and you ended on the perfect note which is that blobfish and also your pm joke
31:07will live rent free in my head forever i think this is a double act something you two both to take
31:13on the road together good and evil the winner of this reading battle is
31:17saltina shaker hey congratulations you live to slay another day yay that means i'm sorry my dear but
31:31van gogh you lost your battle and you may be up for elimination it's time for our next battle
31:37now despite popular belief she did not shoot selena it's dulce oh my god that's great and she's the
31:53jean christian of drag it's velvet jones totally let the reading begin well hello everyone my name is
32:05dulce and i will be your main course for this evening to warm us up you know the one that you kind
32:10of toss to the side velma hi everybody npm i'm belma jones i'm your frenchy sweetheart and the good thing
32:22with this face off is i would not understand any of it girl neither will we don't worry oh dulce i like dulce
32:33de leche what's missing oh taste
32:42too bad i can't ask for you velma is so white when feasts when feasts girl i know about feasts
32:50but when i first met velma she thought i was house cleaning she did and when production first
32:56said hard ice she got so excited because she thought i was finally getting deported
33:04yeah well dulce really wants to be fully part of our drag family and judging by how she's dressing
33:12hey grandma i'm surprised you know the word grandma because wasn't your mom an alcoholic and hated you
33:21yeah oh yeah sure but my grandma loved me she's the only one that does
33:26well yes well yes she keeps her drink tickets from drag bar gigs and use them as coupons at girl street
33:41store i would have saved those drink tickets for your mom i know she could have used them
33:47but did you know that velma also has a drag king personality no she does she does but honestly if we
33:54were all such a half-assed drag queen like her we would also need another personality to make up for
33:59the lack of talent no girls are reading dulce is from the city of london and now i understand where
34:09she got her british smile
34:13oh oh oh oh velma velma velma yay wow both of you really surprised me because you seemed a little
34:24timid yesterday julce loved your confidence i loved how you commanded the stage velma i loved how you
34:32were able to laugh at yourself and the fact that english is not your first language you surprised me
34:36your timing your delivery really impeccable the winner of this reading battle is
34:45velma jones congratulations
34:51you have won your reading battle
34:55she'll say i'm sorry my dear but you lost your battle and may be up for elimination
35:00it's time for our next battle
35:06she's not viral she's just diseased
35:13it's sammy landry
35:18and they're polyamorous but you could probably tell that just by looking at them
35:23it's pm done let the reading begin
35:27pussy milk
35:33that is the name that pm chose for themselves it's a little hard to process it might be because i'm
35:41lactose intolerant or because it's just a shit name now i'm gonna find some new names for you tonight
35:50because uh your pussy milk is rotted my name is pm just the letters p and m you stupid
35:59bitch um sammy landry season six's comedy queen the only funny thing about you though is that your
36:09your dad and your mom know each other better as brother and sister
36:14damn pm
36:17poorly made
36:21pm problematic mug
36:27your makeup is a little dry kind of like your punchline
36:31okay you got me with that one okay sammy i have two words for you and i am going to say them
36:41really slowly because you're from monkton and that means you're an idiot pimple patches you're looking
36:50like a jackson pollock painting out a drag sweetheart and we don't want to see it anymore oh my pn
36:58oh my gosh your drag belongs in the dark pm hours because i don't want to see it
37:12we have an animal on stage and from your lip sync you literally look like a pony doing
37:17fucking dressage and your teeth are you munching and crunching those carrots sweetheart
37:23i haven't mentioned the carrots because i can clearly see what the fuck is going on here okay
37:33p.m poop muncher
37:38and i'm about to leave the stage because i don't want to take up any more of your time
37:43like sammy has in this competition
37:45thank you very much thank you so much you two went in really engaging with each other i'd love
37:54to see it sammy all of those pms were great they were clever they were inventive but most
37:59importantly they were funny both of you well done brava thank you the winner of this reading battle is
38:07sammy landry oh hey that means pm i'm sorry my dear you lost your battle and may be up for elimination
38:23it's time for our next battle
38:25if she was a coffee order she'd be a flat white
38:35it's hazel that was good that was good and she's not even the best drag queen in her family it's caramel
38:43let the reading begin hello everyone my name is hazel her name is disappointment caramel you made so
38:56many clock jokes in snatch game now the only clock that's ticking is your name in this game
39:03that did not come out how it should not at all not one bit well you know what my drag okay next
39:09hazel threw her sister pm under the bus last week she must go through a lot of razors shaving those two
39:15faces something maya fox would know a lot about did you know that caramel came in here named after the
39:24wrong chocolate bar bitch your name should be crunchy it is caramel with a k and this is hazel without her k
39:34ketamine oh shit girl oh oh girl pm told you that one bitch we see in your nostrils
39:48you know what's so endearing about caramel the fact that she thought she was going
39:53to be a bigger star than dulce in the acting challenge no one's bigger than dulce
39:58you have a weekly show called haze which makes a lot of sense because you have the testosterone of an
40:07entire fraternity yeah ironic that caramel played flavor slave because she's been giving tasteless
40:16performances week after week after week but i still send star home with no makeup on
40:22hazel rapped about being a star in her it girl music video verse girl with that cheerleader entrance
40:32look you're not shining you're sheening
40:35okay gorgeous gowns hazel i relate to you because you're a funny person when you're not reading
40:51a script all right when you put the cards down and you interacted with the audience and with us
40:57you invited us into your world and we felt like we were a part of the hazel show even when the jokes
41:03didn't land you didn't wither you know you yes you stood tall and fabulous and strong so we love to
41:09see it and caramel it's nice to see you pushing yourself outside of your shell you had some really
41:14great jokes in there and you finished on such a high note for me and it was a really good period
41:18on the sentence the winner of this reading battle is caramel hazel my dear i'm sorry but you lost your
41:32battle and maybe a pre-limination darn it is time for our final battle
41:43saint catherine's has no nightlife which explains her drag
41:48it's ebony labelle
41:50and she puts the east in beast it's maya fox not that
41:58let the reading begin i am so happy that i get to share the stage with you this week i mean god damn
42:06bitches look how good she makes me love
42:11ebony is such a likable and friendly queen even her lace has been waving at me all season
42:17hi maya hi maya miss maya did y'all know she is a lyricist and also a liar yeah
42:25mm-hmm so let me tell you okay in her verse on episode one she says that she serves looks in her free time
42:35i guess you don't got a lot of free time
42:43this bitch is always interrupting people so ebony the next time you need to say something
42:48please raise your hand and put it over your mouth
42:54i know i've been dogging on her ugly brother over there so let me give you some
42:59let me give you some nice words okay because i am kind it is so lovely to see you working on your
43:04makeup brick by brick by motherfucking
43:08bitch you really are the queen of blending into the background oh girl
43:15alissa i am so motherfucking happy that you are here this week i actually prepared a gift for you
43:21okay miss maya fox is here to show you how to finally tuck in a pillowcase
43:25bitch this bitch was so busted in the commercial it looks like her booking fee is 37.50
43:39listen we gotta work on that drag name she came up in here as maya fox but i think we could try
43:45maya horse or uh maya taste is awful or uh maya time in this competition is up after this week's
43:52challenge thank you i am ebony labelle and that's a man maury
44:01now this is how you close out a reading battle i think this is my favorite duo of the night
44:06yeah what an epic showdown ebony let's talk gorgeous confident strong the comebacks were like
44:14impeccable i felt like i was watching you in vegas oh you give me a character right out of paris's
44:21barnet uh maya it was a very canadian approach yeah you had great material i love to raise your
44:28hand you had some uh cute little zingers the winner of this reading battle is ebony labelle
44:38thank you so much maya fox i'm sorry my dear but you lost your battle and may be up for elimination
44:53congratulations to our battle winners this week you all burnt your opponents to a crisp but one of you
45:00really stirred the pots ebony labelle you are the winner of this week's maxi challenge you have won
45:15five thousand dollars cash courtesy of lucky bastard distilleries bitch i'm a lucky bastard tonight
45:23yes ma'am oh that's like good money that leaves us with the losers of their battles van goff
45:31maya fox you are both safe thank you which means dulce pm and hazel i'm sorry but you were the bottom
45:40three this week ebony as this week's winner you have earned the power of the golden beaver granting
45:49you the ability to save one of the bottom queens from lip-syncing for their life you hold the fate of
45:55your sisters in your petite little hands as you untuck the bottom three may plead their case you may leave
46:03the stage oh girl the reading battles have come to a close the reading battles were so much fun we
46:13really redeemed the reading challenges on canada's drag race you're welcome season five we can finally
46:19all stop hearing ebony cry about being safe she's what a challenge yeah cheers well deserved i
46:28motherfucking ate that yes you did yes you did bitch i won
46:37bitch i win girl y'all know i've been hungry for it i'm just like so proud of myself oh i know these
46:44holes are bad and maya i need to say i'm not mad at you we killed it up there we did great you were
46:51the one person that i did not want to go against and this is my redemption too
46:59bitch you were so funny the comedy redemption finally happened sorry for for this thank you i am
47:07funny yes yes you are my spot is secured i want to hear what the bottoms have to say
47:14i wanted to talk to my sister dulce because i'm feeling a vibe over here
47:20it sucks i feel like i haven't um been like reaching the potential that i know i can i feel
47:26like my drag is like sickening i'm happy you won i wish i won but it is what it is my track record is
47:34good i've been in the top i've never gotten the beaver i'm gonna continue to do better i don't want to
47:41throw you two under the bus either because like i know you guys feel just as shit as i do you guys
47:46are more used to it but i'm not i was waiting for that i was waiting for it the way you're feeling
47:52right now is the way that i was feeling a couple weeks ago it's like you're doing good you know you
47:58wanted that moment you wanted that win and you're having a little short spot don't discredit yourself
48:04girl i deserve to stay here but i don't know how the girls are playing it if they're playing it by track
48:10record it should be me no questions asked no shade i want the beaver just as much as you do again
48:16you know like if i'm the beaver queen of the season then i'm the beaver queen of the season
48:21i want to keep going and showing everyone that i am a threat in this competition and not a
48:26fucking flat white god i would kill for a flat white bitch your face is a flat white
48:35listen i want to move into your beaver lodge ebenece so give me that beaver okay i am obviously a
48:42little upset that i'm here i'm somebody in vancouver who doesn't really do the back room
48:47shit so for me to sit down and put pen to paper and make people laugh today is probably one of my
48:54proudest moments and i i can't stop smiling because i look fucking good i feel good and i did good today
49:04i obviously hope you use the beaver on me because these two don't know how to use the beaver properly
49:09when i was 16 i had my time with the beaver yeah sure you have hazel we're friends to this day hi
49:15kiana if i were in the top i would have used it on pm i would use it on pm i thought you were
49:21absolutely phenomenal uh i would say dulce for sure i think for sure she's got the best track record
49:28who's the fucking gag over there no i said for sure oh okay well i mean for me i think i think like hazel
49:34i think you already had the beaver like this is how i would process it pm you got the beaver last week as
49:38well dulce's never had the beaver you were in the top in the commercial challenge i don't know what
49:44ebony's gonna do here she's got some really strong options but she could also make a move in this
49:47competition she also has an alliance with everybody up in here so i don't know what this bitch is
49:51thinking there's a lot of things to take into consideration i can fully just base it off of
49:55today i can base it off a track record i can also base it off of what i think's gonna come next what
50:00if the next challenge is a performance challenge who i think is going to really really eat it up next week
50:05i know that ebony is playing this game strategically so i need to make sure that i
50:11give her an offer that she cannot deny so that i end up with the beaver in my hands ebony can i say
50:17something though yes i feel like this week i rose and i feel like i'm headed upwards and if you were
50:24to ever find yourself down i would scratch your back for sure and i would scratch it so good i feel
50:31like i didn't flop this week and i really want to be here and i will get you back if you get me this
50:37and know what y'all saying i can say the exact same thing too literally girl re-fucking-tweet but you
50:43don't mean it what do you mean i don't mean it because you put me out there last week and i want
50:48to be your best friend i did not put you out there last you didn't choose me i was in the moment but
50:54anyone else you're in the moment chosen and that's the thing so it is what it is you know what i think i
51:01think let them settle it out on the lip sync put them down save me make it real simple they need
51:07stuff to work out make them lip sync down but i also want to see you turn the party dual say
51:12pardon you said you could turn the party and i want to see you go out there i want to see you go
51:16like girl she can fuck out like whether we listen or not like i'm fucking ready to oof girl i love this
51:22untucked PM gave me a very good offer that if i scratch their back now they'll scratch my back later
51:30i do believe them i really do bitch now everybody making that plea so i guess i'm pretty good
51:36whoever the hell i choose i don't know girl i just gotta make a damn decision
51:47welcome back queens ebony labelle heavy is the hand that holds the beaver who do you want to save
51:55from the chomping block y'all did not make it easy this week whoever i don't save
52:00bitches fight it out on the stage
52:05i have chose to save dulce
52:09lobby damned
52:15dulce you are out of the woods this week you may join the others at the back thank you thank you i love
52:21you alissa
52:21pm hazel i'm sorry but this means you are both up for elimination two queens stand before us
52:36prior to tonight you were asked to prepare a lip sync performance of dumb blonde by avril lavigne
52:42featuring nicki minaj this is your last chance to impress us and save yourself from elimination
52:49the time has come for you to lip sync for your life
52:59good luck and don't
53:04and don't
53:05fuck
53:05it
53:06up
53:07i ain't no dumb blonde
53:12i ain't no stupid barbie doll
53:14i got my game on
53:16watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
53:18well there you go again telling me where i belong
53:23you put me on the bench don't think that i can play strong
53:28so quick to condescend while you think i'm empty i'm not
53:32you won't be so confident when i'm crushing you from the top
53:36i'm a babe i'm a box that i'm making this money
53:40i can flip like a switch and i cut like a blade
53:45i can sting like a bee but i'm sweeter than
53:46i can't
53:48and i'm quick as a whip so get out of my way
53:52come and get it now
53:54i ain't no dumb blonde
53:56i ain't no stupid barbie doll
53:58i got my game on
54:00just watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
54:03i ain't no dumb blonde
54:05i am a freaking cherry ball
54:07i need an icon
54:09come watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
54:11stand up everybody
54:13get it out
54:14say it loud
54:16we're bombshells raising hell now
54:18watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
54:20stand up everybody
54:22get it out
54:23say it loud
54:24we're bombshells raising hell now
54:26watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
54:28yo i ain't playing but i won the cup
54:30came through heavy on it in a bentley truck
54:33it was me young avril security tuck
54:35in the back just in case one of y'all run up
54:37one of y'all um um all of y'all be stuck
54:39when you see a young queen in the flesh what's up
54:41all i hating you was doing got the barbie popping
54:43now all of them want to be a barbie i'm watching
54:46but you never gonna stop me
54:47never gonna top me millions on millions
54:49they never gonna drop me
54:50i am the prototype the pink print
54:52no i don't want no frauds wink wink
54:54i don't want no frauds
54:55i don't want no frauds
54:57i ain't no stupid box
54:59i got my game on
55:01watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
55:03i ain't no dumb
55:05i am a freaking charity
55:07oh yeah i'll be your icon
55:10just watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
55:12stand up everybody
55:14stand up
55:15say it loud
55:16get it out
55:17challenge raising hell now
55:19watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
55:21stand up everybody
55:23get it out
55:24say it loud
55:25let's go
55:26challenge raising hell now
55:27watch me watch me watch me prove you wrong
55:30that was great
55:41queens we have made our decision
55:49p.m shantae you stay
55:52p.m shantae you're the only person i want
56:01i need to go
56:05go with it let's go with it
56:08hazel
56:09yes
56:11behind those hazel eyes
56:13is a star on the rise
56:16thank you so much
56:18for this opportunity i feel so blessed to be here
56:21well we are so blessed to have you here
56:23thank you
56:24now sashay away
56:26this flat white will end spit now
56:36you can catch me on my one person comedy show coming very soon
56:42you got any call tickets
56:47i feel very disappointed
56:50i just feel like i didn't really get to show off who i am truly as a performer just besides that iconic lip sync
56:58oh
57:04you bitch am i fifi o'hara in this moment
57:12oh my god
57:13the beautiful hazel you are absolutely beautiful like you said
57:21you should be so proud of yourself this is just the beginning and that's what it's about i know
57:25i've sashayed away a few times in my time
57:31get your person come on let's go we go to texas let me take her let me take her is the bus still running
57:37yeah baby you're going to the train station or something girl hit it
57:42congratulations queens you live to slay another day the world has never needed the magic of drag more
57:50so remember stay true north strong and
57:58and now let the music play
58:08next time on canada's drag race
58:12you'll be the hostesses with the mostesses on our brand new drag talk show the shade
58:23i feel a little sad that neither of you really wanted me in your group
58:26this is definitely not the energy that i want to start with it's not just like having a drag mother drag
58:31daughter it's about the connections you make along the way girl this is boring i love this talk show by
58:37the way
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