- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Let's head over to Elaine.
00:02So, who do we have next?
00:05I'm Gloria.
00:07Good luck, Gloria.
00:08I'm now going to hand you over to the expertly seasoned hands of Elaine.
00:13Hello, Gloria.
00:15So, where have you come from today?
00:17Oh, I'm the local mechanic.
00:19Wonderful.
00:20Yeah, you look younger in real life.
00:22Too kind.
00:24So, what have you brought along today?
00:26Amateurs.
00:27I've brought this painting.
00:28Oh, this isn't a painting.
00:30It's a lithograph by Robert Hillingford.
00:33Probably early 20th century.
00:36What's a lithograph?
00:40It's a printing process.
00:42Using a flat stone or metal plate on which the image areas are worked.
00:45Using a greasy substance so that the ink adheres to them.
00:50Whilst the non-image areas are made ink repellent.
00:53It's not painted on paper.
00:56Right.
00:57Is it a family heirloom?
00:59No.
01:00It's always on the garage toilet.
01:01I thought it would look posh, so I brought it here.
01:04Well, it's an image of Wellington at Waterloo.
01:08The ink distribution is very smooth.
01:12Right?
01:13And worth around...
01:15600 euro.
01:18Oh!
01:19God!
01:21Okay, brilliant.
01:23Everyone out to the terrace for summing up with David, then onto the final link with Nick.
01:28Thank you so much for bringing this today.
01:31It's absolutely stunning.
01:32There's a tape by the first one.
01:35They don't need the boom on this one because David's been miked off.
01:39Whatever that means.
01:41David's skin is surprisingly good for his age.
01:45He hardly needed any powder.
01:47Well, it's probably had work done, darling.
01:50Most of these TV types do.
01:52Oh, darling, you're absolutely right.
01:55I must keep the number of his surgeon.
01:58Ready, Nick?
01:59And...
02:00Action!
02:01What a wonderful time we've had in the beautiful Saint-Betrois.
02:18And next week, get your castanets out as the European road trip continues.
02:23Bilbao, Spain.
02:25See you then.
02:27Cut!
02:29And that's a wrap!
02:31Call an ambulance!
02:49Jean, we're having a nightmare.
02:55The rest of the crew are stranded at Gatwick.
02:59God knows how we're gonna film today.
03:01Why did you drive?
03:03Elaine won't fly.
03:04And Paul doesn't trust the baggage control with his equipment.
03:07And then, trust the van to break down.
03:10You good to go?
03:11Well, thanks for sending Gloria.
03:13I'll follow you up there, just in case she blows again.
03:15Brilliant.
03:16Thank you so much.
03:18Hey, Jean.
03:19Sorry about all of this.
03:21Oh, hi, Paul.
03:22Blimey, you're looking trim.
03:24Thank you very much, Jean.
03:26See you in a bit.
03:27Thanks.
03:28See you later, love.
03:30See you, love.
03:31Hey.
03:32There's a queue forming outside already.
03:34And there's a fella at the front with what looks like a sleeping bag.
03:36That's a bit keen, isn't it?
03:38Oh, that must be the chap that gave me this for Elaine.
03:41I must remember to pass it on.
03:42Antique Antics is a very popular show.
03:45Thank you, Jean, for suggesting they filmed it here.
03:48It was David's idea, actually.
03:49I'm surprised he came back after what happened last time.
03:51Yeah, I do feel a bit bad about that.
03:53What happened?
03:54Oh, David married a madman who tried to kill him in Jean's house.
03:57Yeah.
03:58The producer Paul is an old university friend of mine.
04:01And when he offered me the job as a pundit on the show,
04:03well, I instantly offered David up instead.
04:05Did you not fancy it?
04:07No, it's not my bag.
04:09But, oh, David, he's always first in the queue at the karaoke.
04:12And I thought he'd be right up his street.
04:14And I was right, he's a big superstar now.
04:16You turned down Antique Antics.
04:18Are you mad?
04:20You could have made us all famous.
04:23No, it'd have made me famous, Judith,
04:25and I couldn't think of anything worse.
04:27But anyway, they're filming in your beautiful summer house.
04:30I mean, how exciting is that?
04:33That queue is getting massive.
04:35I might get housekeeping to set up a little drinks corner for refreshments.
04:40Can't look a gift horse in the mouth, eh?
04:43Once an entrepreneur, always an entrepreneur.
04:47I'd better give him a hand.
04:51I'll say it again.
04:52That was a very nice thing you did for David.
04:55Well, there might have been another reason why I turned down the job.
04:59Oh, yeah.
05:00Well, I'd have spent loads of time filming away,
05:03and right now I'm exactly where I want to be.
05:08Well, that's a coincidence.
05:10You're here!
05:11Whoop.
05:16Hey, Jean, this is dead exciting.
05:18You never told me.
05:19I'm nipping home for a painting to get it valued.
05:21If you want a painting valued, I'll do it for you.
05:23Yeah.
05:24You can't get me on the telly.
05:25See you in a bit.
05:31There she is.
05:32Oh, yeah.
05:33You look smashing.
05:35Hey, can I get one of those?
05:36You certainly can.
05:37Come on.
05:43This is my old friend, Jean.
05:44I'm mine.
05:45That's the old.
05:47Oh, I don't think you'd be needing those umbrellas.
05:49He's not reigned here for about six weeks.
05:51They're for the sun, dear.
05:54Yeah, it's been a long journey.
05:56Let's go shoot this nonsense, shall we?
05:59Yeah, of course.
06:00Follow me.
06:01Hm?
06:02Yep.
06:07Oh, Nick.
06:08He's followed me to France.
06:10When will it stop?
06:12Hm.
06:23Welcome to Epouche de Flore, our summer home.
06:34I'm a huge fan of the show.
06:36Where is your green room?
06:37Oh, yes.
06:38Now, I know what that means.
06:39That's TV speak for waiting room.
06:42We've transformed our conservatory.
06:44Where is it?
06:46Just through there.
06:47Hm?
06:52I was just saying to Jean, it's been a long journey.
06:55I know.
06:56They're a lot friendlier on the telly.
06:58How are you doing?
06:59I'm Paul, the director and producer.
07:01Thank you so much for letting us use your house.
07:03I really do appreciate it.
07:05You're a step up from the highly dodgy resident we had last year.
07:10This is Judith, and this is my good friend, Dom.
07:13Good to meet you, Dom.
07:14You have very good taste in France.
07:17Oh, Jean.
07:18So good to see you again.
07:20You look great.
07:22Now, we have a bit of a situation.
07:25We literally have no crew.
07:27They're stranded in Gatwick.
07:29You're welcome to stay as long as you need.
07:32Thank you, Judith.
07:33Well, we have to be on the road to Spain tomorrow,
07:35as we only have that particular venue for a day.
07:37So, how can we help?
07:39I need someone to hold the boom.
07:41Oh, yes, I can do that.
07:42What's a boom?
07:44It's a huge microphone we hold over the public's head.
07:46You're a bit on the, um, petite side.
07:50We need someone taller.
07:52Oh, well, Dom can do that.
07:54Oh, no, I'm not sure.
07:56Perfect.
07:57Thanks, Dom.
07:58What can I do?
07:59How about makeup?
08:00What?
08:01Well, judging from the glamour of yourself, you've clearly got a talent.
08:05Well, thank you, David.
08:07Great idea.
08:09All you need is, uh, some powder and a brush.
08:11I think I'll need more than that.
08:13Some of the people who appear on your show look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards.
08:18Right.
08:19The refreshment stall's been set up just outside the function room.
08:22Jeremy, uh, this is Paul.
08:24He's the director and producer.
08:26Hi, Jeremy.
08:27Uh, refreshment stall?
08:28Got to keep the troops fed and watered, eh?
08:31Great.
08:32Well, thanks for getting so much sorted.
08:34I'll make sure you're well compensated for this.
08:36Oh, no problem.
08:38Thanks.
08:39I'm the makeup artist for the day, darling.
08:41I'm going to transform all the frightful people.
08:44Oh, congratulations, darling.
08:46Right.
08:47Let's get to it.
08:55There you go.
08:56You look amazing.
08:58Judith, love, we really need to crack all.
09:00All good here.
09:04And action.
09:11Absolutely extraordinary.
09:19And action.
09:20Welcome back from the break.
09:22So the answer to the mystery is a retailer or manufacturer of porcelain would simply shop around for the cheapest silversmith.
09:30It's easy when you think about it.
09:32Anyway, over to Elaine for this week's trash or treasure.
09:37Thanks, Nick.
09:39Now, take a look at these two items.
09:43I missed my calling.
09:45I am transforming people.
09:47You're doing a roaring trade here, darling.
09:49Look after the pennies.
09:51And the pals will look after themselves.
09:54Hello.
09:56I'm Nigel.
09:57Did you manage to give the gift to Elaine yet?
10:00Oh.
10:01Sorry, old chap.
10:02I completely forgot.
10:05Big fan of hers, are you?
10:07Oh, yes.
10:08Oh, yes.
10:09You were the one in your little sleeping bag in front of the queue.
10:12Yeah.
10:13Elaine and I got back a long way.
10:15I made a promise to never miss any of her shows.
10:18Oh-ho!
10:19Yeldon's chocolates.
10:20That takes me back to old lighting.
10:22I'll tell you what.
10:23I will make her a nice cup of tea and give her the chocolates now.
10:26No.
10:27She only drinks pure spring water from her Al Garden china cup.
10:31Well, then I'll just give her the chocolates then.
10:36I would do it myself, but, um, David and Nick can be very protective of it.
10:40I'm not allowed anywhere near.
10:47Oh, Yeldon's chocolates.
10:50I've not had them since I was a kid.
10:52You know, in all the years I've lived in France, I've never seen a box of these.
10:55Oh.
10:56Fans off, Dominic.
10:57These are for Elaine from her number one fan.
11:00Over there.
11:08The reason why most teddy bears have one side of their face flatter than the other
11:12is because it shows how much they have been loved.
11:17Cut!
11:18Oh, great work, Nick.
11:20You know, it's hotter than Hades out here.
11:22I'm going to need a considerably high effect of sun cream.
11:25Or I suppose that's just too much to ask.
11:30Okay, everyone.
11:31Let's break for lunch.
11:32That's half an hour.
11:33My arms are killing me.
11:39Engage the core.
11:41What?
11:42If you engage your core, you'll put less pressure on your arms.
11:44Oh, that's right, eh?
11:46Sorry, Don.
11:47That made me sound like an idiot.
11:48It's just that I lost four stone last year.
11:51Retained a few tricks of the trade.
11:53Oh, wow.
11:54Hadn't seen my toes since the noughties.
11:56That's just it.
11:57I'm serious.
11:58You wouldn't have recognised me.
11:59Oh, well, you look right now.
12:01Well done.
12:03What's your usual workout?
12:05Eh, you know, do a bit of planking.
12:08Oh, that's what I mean.
12:09Engage the core.
12:10Good man.
12:12Hey, you know I got everyone delayed on purpose so I could work with you.
12:15He didn't.
12:16But I'm really happy it's worked out like this, Jane.
12:19You are a natural.
12:21Is there no way I could persuade you to join the team?
12:24You'd be amazing.
12:25What is this, a taxi?
12:26It's a great gig.
12:27Not just the travel, but the stuff you get to see.
12:30I handled a real Caravaggio in Rome.
12:33You didn't?
12:34The brush detail was exquisite.
12:36I mean, that is amazing.
12:38It really was.
12:39Dom, can you give us a hand with the large amphora?
12:42What?
12:43Don't worry.
12:44It's nothing medical.
12:45It's a vase.
12:46Yeah, yeah.
12:47I know what it is.
12:48I didn't eat properly.
12:49Come.
12:51So what are you up to after the European tour?
12:54Oh, we've just been commissioned to do a new spin-off series.
12:57It's like an antiques competition quiz thing.
13:00Oh, sounds interested.
13:01Yeah, the only thing is, unfortunately, I can only take a lane or a day,
13:05unless the network only needs one expert.
13:07I mean, they'll still be on this show, but...
13:10Do they know?
13:11Oh, yeah.
13:12I told them.
13:13They both understand.
13:14Such professionals.
13:15Yeah.
13:16But the channel hasn't made up its mind yet.
13:18David would love to do more of this stuff.
13:20Even being the occasional pundit on this show, it's changed his life.
13:24And I've got you to thank for that.
13:27I would still...
13:28I've preferred you, Jean.
13:30Oh.
13:33Sorry.
13:34Steady, Dom.
13:35Oh.
13:36Oh.
13:40On first appearances, this looks like an innocent brass fox.
13:43But if we look at the base, we can see a date, 1914, and a location, Dusseldorf.
13:50This is a beautiful example of trench art, crafted out of an artillery shell during the First World War.
13:57Oh, wow.
14:00That's over to you, Nick.
14:02Sometimes, they let me do the odd analysis.
14:06Especially if it's to do with music, as these guys haven't got a clue about anything past the 1900.
14:14So, this is made from shellac.
14:17A lot harder, heavier, and colder than the vinyl record that replaced it.
14:22We can tell by the sound, even without playing any music.
14:27I mean, it will play, but it may be a few more shows until we find a working player.
14:34So, Japanese dragons supposedly had three or four toes, whereas Chinese dragons supposedly had five.
14:47Well, it's an image of Wellington at Waterloo.
14:52The ink distribution is very smooth, right?
14:55Worth around...
15:00600 euro.
15:04God, okay, brilliant.
15:07Everyone out to the terrace for summing up with David, then on to the final link with Nick.
15:12That was lovely to meet you, Gloria.
15:13Oh, you too.
15:14Yes.
15:15600 euro?
15:16Well, yes, there and thereabouts.
15:18What a wonderful time we've had in the beautiful Saint-Victoire.
15:22And next week, get your castanets out, because the European road trip continues.
15:26Bilbao.
15:27Spain.
15:29See you then.
15:30Cut!
15:31And that's a wrap!
15:32That's a wrap!
15:33That's a wrap!
15:34That's a wrap!
15:35That's a wrap!
15:36Thank you very much!
15:37Thank you very much.
15:38Thank you very much!
15:39Hélène, did it make it?
15:41Poison?
15:42D'accord. Merci beaucoup.
15:51Hélène didn't make it.
15:54Poison?
15:55The paramedics found 99% certain.
15:58Oh, hello, love. How are you doing?
16:01Is Hélène okay?
16:03Uh, no.
16:05I'm afraid not. I'm sorry.
16:08I think I might have a migraine coming up.
16:13That'll be the shock.
16:14I just want to go home.
16:16Sorry, Gloria, but no one can leave until everyone has been interviewed.
16:21Maybe Gloria could have a little lie down here.
16:24Of course. We've got plenty of rooms.
16:28Hey, Ben. I'm right here, all right?
16:31Jean, it makes more sense than ever to ask for your help with this subject matter.
16:41Yes, of course. Whatever I could do to help.
16:43Now, Jean was nearly the star of it.
16:45Pardon?
16:46Well, they offered her the job of Lee Pondy, which gave it away to David.
16:50Is this true?
16:51Yes, but I couldn't think of anything worse than all that attention.
16:55I totally agree.
16:57Okay, shall we start the interviews in the lounge?
16:59Okay.
17:01Do any of you know anyone who might want to harm Elaine?
17:09Well, she was a bit of a nice maiden.
17:13Don't hold back, Nick.
17:14Her words, not mine. I'm just saying.
17:18What are you saying?
17:20She wasn't very warm on or off screen.
17:23The viewers loved her.
17:25Of course they did, but she wasn't really a TV personality.
17:29How do you mean?
17:30She was the best dealer in the business.
17:32Yes, but that didn't necessarily make her likable on screen.
17:36She was super firm.
17:40And scrupulously fair.
17:41Do any of you have any knowledge of what she ate or drank today?
17:47Why do you ask that?
17:49It is becoming quite apparent that she was poisoned.
17:52Well, she did have her traits, did Elaine.
17:58Very Hollywood.
18:00She would not eat before she finished filming.
18:03One of her good luck habits.
18:06I did see a cup of tea on the table.
18:09Yes, you saw a cup, but no tea in it.
18:12Just water.
18:13She wouldn't touch anything else.
18:14Just pure spring water from a bottle.
18:22Oh, can we take a break and get a coffee?
18:25That is a good idea.
18:26But everyone must stay in the house.
18:29We will need formal statements from the overview.
18:30I know, I need to tell you something.
18:45Go on.
18:46David gave Elaine a bottle of water in the car as we arrived.
18:55And...
18:55She couldn't find hers.
18:57Swore she left with it this morning.
19:00She was always misplacing stuff.
19:02I'm not accusing him of anything.
19:04I'm just saying it's pretty convenient given the current circumstances, no?
19:07I've suffered with terrible migraines for years.
19:26After we lost the twins.
19:29It's where I got my love of sunglasses from.
19:33I decided that my trauma would be glamorous, if nothing else.
19:38Gave me away to...
19:40Own it.
19:43Darling, lights off.
19:44You know the rules.
19:45Oh, yes.
19:46Sorry, Gloria.
19:49I've, um...
19:50Brought you a drink.
19:53Is there anything else we can do?
19:55I need to be prescription pills.
19:58They're brilliant.
19:59They work almost instantly.
20:00Where are they?
20:02Back at the garage.
20:03In the bathroom cabinet.
20:06Nobody's allowed to leave the house.
20:08We can't let her suffer like this.
20:10What can we do?
20:13Let's slip out the back.
20:14No need to make a fuss.
20:15We'll be back before anyone misses us.
20:17Good idea.
20:17We'll be back before you know it.
20:25Come on, darling.
20:25I mean, I'm not keen on any of them apart from David.
20:33That Nick with his little sun umbrella.
20:35What's that about?
20:35Who do you think he is?
20:36Jane Austen.
20:37And that Paul.
20:38He clearly fancies you.
20:39I've lost four stone.
20:41Oh, well done, mate.
20:41You must have been massive.
20:42Excuse me, David.
20:44Please come with me for some questions.
20:47This way.
20:48I've not seen my toes since an hour, did you see?
20:50It's fine.
21:04What on earth is going on?
21:25We have a witness who swears that David gave Elaine her drinking water this morning.
21:29Yes, I did. So what? I do most mornings. She's always forgetting things.
21:35But that was the only thing she consumed all day.
21:39Jean also told me it was between you and her to present a new spin-off show.
21:42Oh, what are you trying to insinuate?
21:45Well, it's quite the motive, isn't it?
21:48I don't think I have ever been more insulted.
21:51I am a dealer, first and foremost. I have been for 30 years.
21:55Yes, telly is great, but it's not my whole life.
22:00How dare you suggest I would try to kill someone just to get my 15 minutes of fame?
22:06I think with Elaine now gone, maybe the fame would last a little longer.
22:10Carol, David is one of my closest friends.
22:14I do realise that, Jean, but the facts are...
22:16Yeah, one man's opinion, which is yet to be proved to be a fact.
22:21David isn't capable of harming anyone.
22:23I have to ask the questions, Jean.
22:25Okay.
22:27So I'm going to look at the footage that's been filmed so far, because we must be missing something.
22:35Jean, I didn't mean to upset anyone. It is the truth, and it had to be said.
22:41I'm upset because one of my closest friends is upset.
22:44So I am going to prove his innocence.
22:47Very good.
22:48And then you can apologise.
22:56Okay.
22:57Ready, Nick?
23:00Thanks, love.
23:01Action!
23:01This is the last time I saw Elaine alive.
23:04And for the final piece of treasure of the day, let's head over to Elaine.
23:07At least someone had a go on the Yeldon's chocolates.
23:09Who do we have now?
23:10What?
23:11I'm Gloria.
23:12Yeah, remind her.
23:13Good luck, Gloria.
23:14I'm Gloria.
23:15Yeah, keep going.
23:16There, there, there. Look.
23:17I recognise a crystal caramel anywhere.
23:22Look.
23:23She ate one.
23:24Jeremy must have passed him on from that weird bloke.
23:26I need to call him.
23:35Oh, come on, Jeremy, pick up.
23:43We need to talk to Carol.
23:44Yeah, yeah.
23:45Yeah.
23:47If you have anything to share, it would be easier for you to do it now.
23:51No comment.
23:52Jean, tell your copper friend here that I have never been so badly treated in all my life,
23:58and I will not be saying another word without a lawyer present.
24:01Just bear with me, love.
24:03Carol, we need a word.
24:10Elaine's number one fan bought her a box of chocolates.
24:14Yeldon's from England.
24:15You can't get him in France.
24:16And?
24:17It must have been the last thing that she ever ate.
24:19He's on the footage.
24:20He was in the audience.
24:23Let's go and talk to him.
24:26Please, do not go anywhere.
24:37Yeah, that's him.
24:40Dom, could you find Jeremy, or at least try and get a hold of him?
24:44Yeah, of course.
24:44That's love.
24:48There you go.
24:48I wonder if we could ask you a few questions, monsieur...
24:53Nigel.
24:54My name's Nigel.
24:56Yeah, of course.
24:57This way, please.
24:58Did you give some chocolates to Elaine?
25:18Absolutely.
25:19I always give her a gift every show.
25:22First time she's ever got them, though.
25:24David and Nick, they can be quite protected.
25:28Hmm.
25:29At the moment, we cannot locate the rest of the chocolates,
25:32but I'm willing to bet that they all contain poison, too.
25:35What happened?
25:37Did she reject you one time too often?
25:41I saw how she looked at you on the way in.
25:44She wasn't very pleased to see you.
25:46That must have been hard to take after all these years.
25:49Had you had enough?
25:49I'm the last person who wanted her dead.
25:58Ten years ago, my mother died.
26:01And to my shame, I didn't have enough money to bury her.
26:05But she'd always talked about this expensive painting that she had in a little council flat.
26:09Nobody really believed her.
26:10But, um, I took that painting to Elaine to sell
26:14and try and get some money towards the cost of the funeral.
26:17Well, she gave me £1,000 for it.
26:20I was over the moon.
26:21And I'd just about managed a very sparse funeral.
26:24So, Elaine helped you?
26:27Two weeks later, I saw the very same painting in the paper.
26:31It sold for £25,000.
26:34It was a rare Mary Cassatt,
26:37a name that's now seared into my brain.
26:39So, I charged back to the shop with the article,
26:43and she blanked me.
26:44She told me I must be mistaken.
26:46And did I have a receipt for this so-called painting?
26:49And did you?
26:50No, stupidly, I didn't.
26:52I was just so desperate for the money.
26:55But Elaine has built her entire TV career
26:58on the fact that she's honest as the day is long.
27:00Indeed she has.
27:02And that's why I go to as many of her shows as possible.
27:05Why?
27:07To get my money back, of course.
27:08So you didn't want her dead?
27:10Good grief, no.
27:11I just wanted my money back.
27:12But she kept denying me,
27:14so I kept reminding her of what she was.
27:18A woman who let a man bury his mother on a shoestring.
27:21Out of greed.
27:24Uh, sorry guys, what's the matter?
27:25Dom said you need to talk to me urgently.
27:28Jeremy, the rest of the Yeldon's chocolates,
27:30where are they?
27:31We need to recover them all right away.
27:34Why?
27:34We think they are poisoned.
27:37Impossible.
27:39We ate them.
27:41Pardon?
27:42A Yeldon's strawberry supreme is, quite simply, irresistible.
27:48Jeremy ate the rest.
27:51Guilty as charged.
27:52So, am I free to go?
27:59Uh, not quite.
28:00Please stay until otherwise informed.
28:05Is that everything?
28:06We need to attend to something.
28:08Come along, Jeremy.
28:09Yes, come along.
28:09So, David is still our strongest suspect.
28:15Still?
28:16Well, it physically can't be anyone else.
28:18We have a witness who saw him give Elaine a water bottle.
28:21It was obviously the water that was poisoned.
28:23So you have proof of that?
28:24We are still waiting for the lab results.
28:26Exactly.
28:27So you can't be sure.
28:28Maybe it would be a good idea if you helped me interview David.
28:34He might be more willing to confess if you are there.
28:40Are you having a laugh?
28:42No.
28:43I'm being very serious.
28:46David is my friend.
28:48And he's a very close friend.
28:50And I'm not sure you know the meaning of the word.
28:54Please, Jean, this is not personal.
28:55I'm dealing in facts.
28:56And the fact is, David is innocent.
28:59Right, come on, you two.
29:01Let's try and stay calm, eh?
29:02I can see both sides here.
29:11Jean.
29:25There's a Citroën 2CV parked outside.
29:30They always remind me of you.
29:33What did you call yours again?
29:35Buttercup.
29:36Buttercup, that's it.
29:38You crashed into a bush after a munchie run to an all-night garage.
29:42Yes, and I've never been behind the wheel again.
29:45Can't be good at everything, Jean.
29:46Yeah.
29:48I have to start thinking about putting out a press release.
29:52Oh, so soon?
29:54A lot of people in that room.
29:55Someone will let the news out before we do.
29:57Oh, God, it's so awful.
30:00Paul, can I take a look at the footage again?
30:03Of course you can.
30:04Come on.
30:05Of course.
30:07Oh, this isn't a painting.
30:20It's a lithograph by Robert Hillingford.
30:23Probably early 20th century.
30:26Hi.
30:26Oh, love, I'm glad to see you.
30:30I should have got you to value this after all.
30:33Do you mind flogging it for me?
30:34I don't really want to see it again.
30:37Of course.
30:38How are you doing?
30:40Pills are kicking in, so a little better.
30:43Do you think you're well enough to answer some questions?
30:46Uh, just about, yeah.
30:52Right.
30:53Now, can you remember what Elaine was like when the cameras moved off her?
30:58Uh, she started moaning about how the big microphone was nearly blocking her shot.
31:05I hadn't noticed.
31:07Anything else?
31:09Uh, she said she got bitten by a mosquito on the back of her leg towards the end of the link.
31:16Mosquito?
31:17Yeah.
31:17I remember being a bit confused because I hadn't noticed anything, they always get me.
31:24She started scratching it quite vigorously, saying our Waterloo stuff was popular back home, but not here for obvious reasons.
31:31Uh, and then she started to slur like she was drunk.
31:36I couldn't understand what she was saying, and then, did it take your time, love?
31:42She hit the floor.
31:44I jumped up and went over, and that's when I saw her face.
31:50I just couldn't help it, Jean.
31:52I screamed.
31:53Of course you did.
31:55Come on, you.
31:57You go and look after yourself.
31:59Thanks, love.
32:00Nice to see you, Paul.
32:01And thank you for fixing the van.
32:03Hm.
32:10So, Gloria didn't hear any mosquitoes.
32:13I didn't hear any mosquitoes, did you?
32:15No.
32:16I think we're too high up in the mountains for them.
32:19Yeah, I mean, I've seen that footage a few times now.
32:21I'm sure I would have noticed.
32:22Yeah, and I would have stopped filming if I heard any buzzing.
32:26Hm.
32:28Ah, I doubt she's going to get 600 euros for this.
32:31I mean, there's so many Waterloo prints floating about.
32:38Waterloo.
32:47Carol, it sounds a bit mad.
32:49I think...
32:50Please do not leave the property.
32:54Stop!
32:55I think we need to ask you a few questions, sir.
33:07Well, I never...
33:08I do not leave the story noch, but I do not, I do not leave the property.
33:26Now, should I explain how you killed Elaine, or would you like to confess?
33:46Oh, okay. So this is a Bulgarian umbrella, as you well know, Nick. Now it's called a Bulgarian umbrella because it's how the Bulgarian dissident, Georgi Markov, was murdered in London in 1978.
34:04A tiny metal pellet was released from the tip here, containing a deadly amount of ricin, and, well, that amounted to certain death.
34:16Elaine's body is being tested for ricin as we speak.
34:19This is how I see it.
34:25When you'd finished your link, you went off camera, and you accidentally dropped your umbrella and script.
34:32When you went to pick them up, you discreetly stabbed Elaine in the back of her leg.
34:37And in the fuss with Judith, nobody noticed you doing it.
34:42In fact, I'm quite frustrated with myself that I was distracted by your very individual diversion tactic.
34:49Pardon?
34:52Extreme rudeness.
35:03So how did you know?
35:08Well, it wasn't until I had a chance to speak to my friend Gloria that it all fell into place.
35:15Elaine complained of a mosquito bite on her leg, but there was no sound of mosquitoes in the footage at all.
35:24And then I saw the Waterloo lithograph, and something triggered in my brain.
35:31Now, Georgi Markov was poisoned on Waterloo Bridge.
35:36And, before he got ill, he complained that an insect had bit him.
35:44I put two and two together, and, well, I was right.
35:47You are very well read, Mrs. White.
35:55I mean, how did you even get a hold of one of these?
35:58They are so rare.
36:02It was on the very first series of antique antics that I came across an elderly gentleman standing in a queue with an umbrella.
36:11Said he found it in his loft.
36:12And you knew what it was straight away?
36:16Of course I did.
36:18I persuaded him to sell it to me right there and then.
36:21Bless him.
36:22He didn't know what it was, but, um, I did.
36:27And I never knew when it would come in so useful.
36:32But I do not understand your motive.
36:37Why kill Elaine?
36:39She was no threat to you.
36:41I thought you were friends.
36:43Television can be such a cool business.
36:48I knew that Paul was producing a new series for the network.
36:52Yeah, but that was a spin-off.
36:53Your show wasn't a threat.
36:55Ah, you see, that's where you are wrong.
36:58My old friend in commissioning told me that my show was finishing after this series, and they were not planning on telling me till I shot the last one.
37:08So, okay, well, why Elaine and not David?
37:13Elaine told me last week that she was chosen and it was all top secret.
37:17I mean, she was impossibly grand after all that.
37:19So, I figured if she was gone, then they could only decommission my show and I could continue as normal.
37:26You've just murdered a woman, and all you talk about is a TV show.
37:31I mean, she was a TV show.
38:01Hiya, love. Are you going now? I thought you were leaving tomorrow.
38:06Jean, love, please forgive me, but I've booked a flight home.
38:10I just want my own bed. It's proper taking it out of me.
38:14I mean, Nick was never my favourite, but this...
38:17You turned out to be a right nasty piece of work. There's nothing to forget for. I absolutely don't blame you.
38:21I'm getting too bloody old for all this.
38:23Never. You are forever young. Come here.
38:25Oh, right. Give me a call when you get home, yeah?
38:31Come on. Lots of love, kid.
38:42Hiya. How are you doing?
38:44Oh, I'll tell you all about it when we get to the pub.
38:47I don't know about you, but I am desperate for a drink.
38:50Oh, same here. Are you ready then, Dom?
38:52Oh, I can't make it tonight, and Jeremy's asked me to help tidy up. The housekeeper's called in sick.
38:57Oh, that's a shame.
38:58Just you and me, then.
38:59Yeah, I suppose so. To be honest, I won't be there long. I am absolutely shattered.
39:06Right. See you then.
39:10Night, then.
39:12Oh, I'll call you tomorrow.
39:20Elaine.
39:20Elaine.
39:25So, what happens to the show now, then?
39:28I suppose I'll go back to London and try and reschedule.
39:31It's going to take a big rethink.
39:33Oh, I bet.
39:35I hope that means that it's not all over for David now.
39:38Oh, no, no, no. He's too popular. Don't worry about him.
39:42The show must go on, as they say.
39:44Oh.
39:47Jean.
39:47Oh.
39:48I've got something to tell you.
39:51Go on.
39:54Come on.
39:58Oh.
40:01Oh.
40:03Dom?
40:04Dom?
40:05Dom, I didn't think you were coming. Can I get you a drink?
40:07Look, Jean. If you don't want this.
40:10What?
40:11I mean, you and me to be exclusive, then just tell me. I'm a big boy. You're a grown woman.
40:18You can see whoever you want to see, but I just don't work like that. I need to know.
40:23What are you talking about?
40:24Well, I mean, Paul, I mean, there's clearly a spark between you both and...
40:31Eh?
40:31Well, you knew I wasn't coming tonight, so...
40:35Wow.
40:36Paul, I can't believe you've just actually said that.
40:42For your information, Paul, who I've known since university, by the way, has just told
40:48me that after years and years of trying, his wife, Julia, is six months pregnant.
40:56Jean, I forgot to show you the 12-week scan.
40:58I won't be a minute.
41:04Maybe you're not ready for this yet, Dom.
41:08I know, Georgina, cut you deep, but I would never do that to you.
41:12And I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking that you think I would.
41:28I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking that
Be the first to comment