00:00you know what is strange some of the loneliest moments in life don't happen when you're alone
00:09but they happen when you're in a crowd at family gatherings with friends at college
00:16at work even in a relationship that's when you feel disconnected invisible empty if this is
00:26something that you have felt this video is for you and here's the first thing that i would like to tell
00:33you very clearly loneliness isn't about the absence of people it's about the absence of emotional
00:41connection you might be surrounded by laughter conversations noise but you might still feel
00:50unseen because most of us were raised and taught how to perform and not how to connect with people
00:59we were taught how to fit in how to not cause trouble and we were never taught
01:06how to say i feel scared i feel overwhelmed i feel left out this could cause a specific kind of
01:17loneliness and sometimes loneliness could arise because of emotional mismatch you could be hanging
01:24out with people with who you might be able to share how things are going on what is happening
01:30but you might not be able to share how you're truly feeling
01:34you might be wanting to feel safe and express your emotions but that is not something that you're
01:44getting from these set of people but nothing is wrong with you you're just emotionally hungry
01:52in a room that isn't feeling you sometimes loneliness could arise out of past wounds from emotional neglect
02:02trauma rejection comparison dismissal of how you're feeling this could make your nervous system feel
02:12unsafe around people you might feel guarded you might feel vigilant you might never truly show up as
02:19yourself you just show up talk and smile but not truly as yourself and here is something important
02:30i want you to hear loneliness doesn't mean you're unlovable or it's a personal failure
02:37it just means you need to feel safe you need to feel hurt you need to matter so what can you do
02:47start small instead of being with people so what can you do start small sometimes it's not about
02:58holding on to people who might not be giving us what we want it might be about finding that
03:05one safe person with who you could share how you feel how you truly feel and that could reduce your
03:13loneliness drastically and another important thing is you stay connected to your own feelings and not
03:21dismiss them because no amount of company will fix that disconnection and also know that loneliness
03:30loneliness isn't specific to you it's a worldwide phenomenon and you're not alone in that and if
03:39you want more conversations like this you know where to find me
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