- 2 weeks ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00You are ready?
00:04It's been an eternity that I wanted to watch the film that passed this week.
00:07Oh, you are wonderful Simon.
00:10Thank you, Charmaine.
00:12It's rather interesting that no one uses his phone this evening.
00:16Not after the last time.
00:18Otherwise, look at him.
00:20When we think about it, I just asked him to put his phone in a sourdine
00:23if he didn't want to put him in a sourdine.
00:25It's reasonable.
00:27I'm so happy that I'm part of the people who are thanks to your sourdine.
00:32Aunt Fifi?
00:39Oh, I'm really sorry.
00:42I was listening to Harry Styles.
00:45We're going to get out, Tati Fifi.
00:47Can you close the locket behind us, like usual?
00:50Of course.
00:51I'm going to clean the toilet and I'm done.
00:56We need to go.
00:57Otherwise, we're going to ruin the beginning.
01:00Don't worry about it.
01:01I will close the locket, like usual.
01:03Okay.
01:04Thank you, Tati Fifi.
01:05See you soon.
01:06See you soon.
01:07Bye-bye.
01:08Bye-bye.
01:09Bye-bye.
01:10Bye-bye.
01:12Bye-bye.
01:13Bye-bye.
01:14Bye-bye.
01:15Bye-bye.
01:16Bye-bye.
01:18Bye-bye.
01:20Bye-bye.
01:22Bye-bye.
01:24Bye-bye.
01:25Bye-bye.
01:26Bye-bye.
01:27Bye-bye.
01:28Bye-bye.
01:29Bye-bye.
01:30Bye-bye.
01:31Bye-bye.
01:32Bye-bye.
01:33Bye-bye.
01:34Bye-bye.
01:35Bye-bye.
01:36Bye-bye.
01:37Bye-bye.
01:38Bye-bye.
01:39Bye-bye.
01:40Bye-bye.
01:41Bye-bye.
01:42Bye-bye.
01:43Bye-bye.
01:44Bye-bye.
01:45Bye-bye.
01:46Bye-bye.
01:47Bye-bye.
01:48Bye-bye.
01:49Bye-bye.
01:50Bye-bye.
01:51Bye-bye.
01:52Bye-bye.
01:53Let's go.
02:23Let's go.
02:53Let's go.
03:23What?
03:23You can play the mouse organ?
03:25I'd pay good money to see that.
03:27Oh, yes.
03:28I'm quite brilliant at it, actually.
03:29Which reminds me of my favourite dad joke.
03:32A mouse goes into a music shop and says,
03:35Do you sell mouse organs?
03:38Do you know it?
03:40And the shopkeeper says,
03:41That's weird.
03:43We had one of you all in here earlier asking exactly the same question.
03:46Oh, says the mouse.
03:48That must have been our moniker.
03:50You do know it.
03:53Right, well, I think I've got just about enough room for a pudding.
03:57Oh, great idea.
03:57Okay, I'll go and get some menus.
04:00So, what are the musical talents have you got hidden up your sleeve there?
04:05Well, well, seeing as it's you, I am a master on the spoons.
04:13Shut it.
04:14Oh, I think I've really hurt myself.
04:22Hi, Glo.
04:24Who on earth left that there?
04:27Well, I'm so sorry.
04:29I didn't know where to put it.
04:31Right, look, I think we'd better get you to A&E.
04:33A&E?
04:34What about Douglas?
04:36Oh, well, we used to have a dog.
04:38We'll look after him.
04:39We know what we're doing.
04:40Are you sure?
04:41There's the least we can do.
04:42Come on, let's get you out of here.
04:44I'm sorry.
04:45Oh!
04:47Oh!
04:48He prefers coconut water to plain.
04:52He's in safe hands with us, Gloria.
04:56Watch that step.
04:57Oh, Glo.
04:58Oh, Anne.
05:00Sit down, sit down, sit down.
05:02Oh!
05:04Hello?
05:06Hi, Charlie.
05:10No, I'll be right there.
05:12Okay?
05:13Um, there's been an incident at the shop, but I'm going to have to go.
05:18All right.
05:19Well, I'll get Glo to A&E and I'll give you a call, okay?
05:21I'm so sorry, Glo.
05:22Don't be daft.
05:23I'll text you if they have to amputate.
05:26Just get me back.
05:27Right.
05:27Why on earth did you offer to look after that stinking dog?
05:33You were the most wonderful mother to Tarquin, darling.
05:35I thought you'd be only too pleased to help.
05:38Our Tarquin was a kennel club registered top pedigree toy poodle.
05:43Also, you leaving that bucket out gives Gloria every reason to sue us, and I don't want to give her one reason.
05:50All right.
05:52When Patrick gets back, we'll take it back to the chateau.
05:56But it is not getting on the furniture.
05:58Who is on the stretcher?
06:07Oh, Jean, c'est terrible.
06:09What on earth has happened?
06:10We got back from the cinema, and the front door of the shop was open.
06:14Fifi was meant to lock up, so...
06:17So we went inside, and Fifi was nowhere to be seen.
06:20The door to the bathroom, it was locked, so Simone kicked it in.
06:25As the door opened, this horrific smell came out, and Aunt Fifi was lying on the floor.
06:31We dragged her out.
06:33And I closed the door immediately and called the police.
06:37Good grief.
06:38The forensic team strongly suspect the smell was a gas caused by bleach being mixed with ammonia.
06:45Mustard gas?
06:47Precisely.
06:48And in an enclosed space?
06:50Deadly.
06:50Oh, she didn't stand a chance.
06:54It looks like a normal bottle of bathroom cleaner was replaced with pure ammonia.
06:59So when the two products mixed together, it created the deadly gas.
07:03So somebody changed the bottle and locked her in?
07:06It would seem so.
07:08We have a Mildo on our hunts.
07:10We have a Mildo on our hunts.
07:10The End ...
07:11Do you know it's Thursday?
07:27I am very well aware of that.
07:31And you do know what Thursday means.
07:34I do.
07:36But unfortunately, you invited that hairy mutt to come and stay with us.
07:41I'm going to have to burn these 800-thread Egyptian cotton sheets.
07:45I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't left the mop and bucket in the middle of the floor.
07:51I am not accustomed to domestic labor, Jeremy. I did my best.
07:54Well, maybe your best wasn't good enough.
07:59Darling.
08:01How dare you.
08:02I'm just stating facts.
08:04Are you, indeed?
08:06Well, one more fact from you, and you will be sleeping in one of the spare rooms tonight.
08:13On a Thursday?
08:14Oh, thank you very much.
08:29Oh, thank you very much.
08:43You are very welcome.
08:44Oh, no.
08:47What's wrong?
08:48Oh, this could be the end of this, this.
08:51What do you mean?
08:52If you choose the wrong sauce for your bacon roll.
08:54Hey, hey, hey.
08:57This is no laughing matter, missy.
09:00I'm going to judge you very harshly if you choose the wrong one.
09:02Are you now?
09:04Oh, okay, okay.
09:05Let's just, let's just rip the plaster off, shall we?
09:07Right, on the count of three, you grab the bottle you want.
09:10Right.
09:10One, two, three.
09:13Yes!
09:14Well, it's red sauce for bacon and brown sauce for sausage.
09:18Ovs.
09:18Ovs?
09:20You are very lovely, Jean White.
09:23You're not so bad yourself, Dominic Hayes.
09:27Who's that?
09:28Oh, don't worry.
09:29I'll get rid of them.
09:35The police only let us back in our flat after midnight.
09:39I can still smell it.
09:41Oh, Charlie, I didn't think.
09:42Simone and I hardly slept a wink.
09:44I'm so sorry.
09:45You could have stayed here.
09:46Do you have any coffee?
09:47Not the English stuff in the jar.
09:50Yeah, I do.
09:57Ah, good morning, Dom.
10:00Oh, hi, Charlie.
10:01I'm just unblocking this sink for Jean.
10:03Yes, I saw Madeleine outside.
10:06You were here early, no?
10:06Yes, well, you know me.
10:09Love an early morning.
10:12I see.
10:15Bet you've not eaten, either, have you?
10:17Go on, help yourself.
10:19Thank you, Jean.
10:22No sauce.
10:28I cannot believe Vivi was such a wonderful woman.
10:32Yeah, she was great.
10:35Was she your mum's sister or your dad's?
10:37Oh, neither.
10:38She used to be my mum's best friend.
10:42Unfortunately, my parents threw me out when I was 17 after I introduced my first girlfriend to them.
10:48I see.
10:49Vivi and her husband, Brian, they took me in for a while and we always kept in touch.
10:54I heard that she was doing a bit of cleaning in her retirement and that's why she works for us.
10:59Worked for us?
11:00Excuse me.
11:03Excuse me.
11:07Oh.
11:11Good morning, Carol.
11:13No, um, Charlie's here.
11:18Yeah.
11:19Okay.
11:19Yeah.
11:20Hang on.
11:20Um, um, Carol needs to talk to you, Charlie.
11:26He needs you to go with him to Fifi's house because it, uh, okay.
11:32Um, Carol, um, we will both be seeing you shortly.
11:39Okay, bye.
11:42Thank you, Gina.
11:44Right, um, are you all finished here now?
11:47Yes, yeah, no, that's all clear now.
11:49I'd better get back to work.
11:50Yes.
11:50I don't need that, don't need that.
11:53Yep.
11:54See you later.
11:55Um, yep, um, well, thank you.
11:57Thank you very much, Dom.
11:58Bye.
11:59Bye.
11:59Bye.
12:06Swagged be had, my niece!
12:13Oh.
12:17Douglas?
12:25Douglas!
12:31Douglas!
12:38No!
12:39How did I forget to shout that?
12:47Douglas!
12:57Bonjour.
12:58Je peux vous aider?
12:59Bonjour, nous sommes ici en ce qui concerne votre voisine, Fifi Page.
13:03Fifi?
13:04Oui, bien sûr, elle va bien.
13:05Oh, excusez-moi, permettez-moi de me présenter, je m'appelle Pierre.
13:09Bonjour, je suis l'inspecteur Caron.
13:11Voici ma collègue, Jean White.
13:12Bonjour.
13:13Bonjour.
13:15Quelque chose lui est arrivé?
13:16Euh, vous avez besoin d'entrer, j'ai un double.
13:19Cela nous faciliterait bien les choses, merci.
13:21Oui, je reviens.
13:26Oh, Judith!
13:28Judith!
13:29Wake up!
13:31What on earth are you doing?
13:34The dogs escaped!
13:35What?
13:36They must have made a break for it in the middle of the night!
13:38He's not in prison, Jeremy.
13:44It's Gloria.
13:45What shall I do?
13:46Uh, don't say a word.
13:48Tell her I've taken him for a walk.
13:50Hello, Gloria.
13:52Hiya.
13:53Ooh, I like your blouse.
13:55It's PJ's, actually, but thank you.
13:57Oh, are you all having a lying?
13:59Sorry?
14:00I bet Douglas doesn't love that.
14:03How are you, Gloria?
14:04Oh, it's just the sprain.
14:06I've got to keep off it for 24 hours.
14:07How's my baby?
14:09Has he been a good boy?
14:10Can you bring him to the phone?
14:14Uh, Jeremy has just taken him for a lovely early morning walk in the fields behind the setteau.
14:21Oh, thank you so much.
14:22Sorry, Gloria, I've got another call coming in.
14:24Speak later.
14:26Come on.
14:30I don't understand.
14:32You're such a lovely lady.
14:33How long have you been neighbours?
14:35I was renting the house next door from her for, uh, six years.
14:39She used to feed my cat when I was at work.
14:42I teach history at the local lycée.
14:44And she cleans for me every week.
14:47She was obsessed with cleaning when I lived with her, too.
14:51I am her niece, Charlie.
14:53I'm so sorry for your loss.
14:57I'll take a look around.
15:00Did, uh, Fifi have any family?
15:02Uh, her husband, Brian, died ten years ago.
15:06She had a half-sister, Ines, who she doesn't speak to.
15:08Why?
15:09It was her sister's husband, Alan, who set the rots between them.
15:12And I totally understand why Alan could, um...
15:15How you say, Jean?
15:16Um, start a fight in an empty room?
15:20Uh, I used to deal with him now and then,
15:23because him and Brian had a small auction house in Biarritz.
15:26But me and Alan, we never saw eye to eye, so...
15:30So what happened between them?
15:32One night, Brian insisted that Alan try to steal something from them
15:35in their own house when they came here for dinner.
15:38What did they try to steal?
15:40Oh, I have no idea.
15:42It was like a bomb going off in the family.
15:45Alan denied it and that was that.
15:48The auction house closed down and they never spoke to each other again.
15:52Brian has long gone.
15:53And Fifi has lived here all alone ever since.
15:56Do you know where the sister and her husband live?
15:59I do, if they are still in the same place.
16:01Can you write it down for me?
16:06Of course, not a problem.
16:14Do you know of anyone who would want to kill Fifi?
16:21No, she was so loved.
16:25Everybody adored her.
16:27And she didn't have much, just these little old houses,
16:31her state pension and her cleaning money.
16:33And I don't believe our little old houses are worth killing for.
16:37Oh, I didn't mean to cause offence.
16:39I mean, they are very sweet houses.
16:42Because maybe it's what's in the house that's worth killing for.
16:47Charlie, come and have a look at this.
16:51What do you think that is?
16:56Oh, my God.
16:58I don't believe it.
17:00What is it?
17:01I think it's a bowl from the Changlong dynasty in 1745.
17:06What does that mean?
17:08Approximately 50,000 euros.
17:10What?
17:10And I'm starting to think that Louise Moyang
17:12that's propped up in the hall is real, too.
17:15What else is in this little old house?
17:17Wow.
17:18To be honest, I didn't visit her here much since I was a teenager,
17:21as I always saw her in the shop, but still.
17:23And there is only one living relative?
17:26Yes.
17:27I think we need to ask Fifi's sister Inez and her husband Alan a few questions.
17:31Richard, you and I will pay them a visit.
17:34Jean, I think you and Charlie should stay here and see what else you can find.
17:36Oh, yeah, no problem.
17:37We might need to ask you some further questions, but for now, thank you for your help.
17:43My pleasure.
17:44Can I make you a drink?
17:46Oh, yes, please.
17:47That'd be lovely.
17:49Yes, the geometric process of energy exchange that would form what we see and feel as the passing of time.
17:56Sorry about that.
18:03Just need to make a quick emergency phone call.
18:10I feel dreadful.
18:12Imagine someone losing our Tarquin while they were dog-sitting.
18:15We would have never forgiven them.
18:17Tarquin would never have run away.
18:19What kind of dog runs away from a shatter and a Wedgwood water bowl?
18:24Well, what's that got to do...
18:26Dominic.
18:30Oh, that's great news.
18:33Dominic's found Douglas running in the fields.
18:35I told you, the dog is a moron.
18:37Where are you?
18:39Right, we're on our way.
18:41Come on.
18:42Come on.
18:42Come on.
18:42Come on.
18:43Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:45Come on.
18:46Come on.
18:47Come on.
18:48Come on.
18:49There is never an easy way to break bad news, but I'm afraid I have to tell you that
19:00your sister, Madame Fifi Page, was found dead last night.
19:06How did she die?
19:08We suspect she was murdered.
19:11Oh, my goodness.
19:13Must be a great shock.
19:14Even though she was my half-sister, she has been dead to me for years.
19:19We have heard that you don't speak.
19:22We were told it was because you were accused of stealing from her house.
19:27Oh, I suppose that was from her pretend niece, Charlie.
19:32To be expected, I suppose we never got on.
19:36Well, it was never us that was doing the stealing.
19:39Pardon?
19:40Our license was threatened to be revoked from the auction house because too many items over
19:47the years had accidentally been misplaced.
19:50You suspected Monsieur Pidge was stealing items.
19:54Well, very slowly, maybe one or two a year.
19:58Brian blames the security I hired, but I knew they all were as honest as the day is long.
20:08People started losing face in us.
20:10And it wasn't just the two things.
20:12Really expensive items disappeared.
20:15I did start to suspect Brian, but he covered his tracks so well.
20:20So, when we were at his house for dinner one night, I took an opportunity to explore.
20:27After a search, I found two of the missing items and I confronted him.
20:34He became enraged.
20:36He said if Alain said anything, he would bring all four of us down with him.
20:40We left and never spoke to him again.
20:42I can clear my name at last.
20:51Where were you last night at 5 p.m.?
20:54We were both here, at home.
20:59And you only have each other as an alibi.
21:05We will be in touch.
21:12Is that a Grand Teddy Tea Room painting?
21:19Edouard Vuillard, what?
21:21I thought the third one was lost forever.
21:24Well, see.
21:25So, where was that hidden?
21:26Behind the wardrobe and the spell room.
21:28How much is this worth?
21:29Oh, um, ballpark between 200,000, 300,000 euro.
21:35Oh, dear.
21:37But you two really know your stuff.
21:38It's very impressive.
21:39Did you study antiques?
21:40My PhD is in French warfare, so if you ever need an expert on that, give me a call.
21:45Oh, thank you.
21:46I will.
21:47So, what's the tally now, Charlie?
21:50Uh, with the paintings, the console table, the Axe Minster Rocks, circa 1760, which was rolled up under the bed in the spare room.
21:58And don't forget the Louise Moyen.
22:00Um, almost two million euros.
22:04Wow.
22:05I honestly can't believe it.
22:07I had no idea.
22:09Where did it all come from?
22:10Hello?
22:17Yes, I'm good, Charlie Brodeur.
22:22Uh, yes, I understand.
22:25I would wait for your call.
22:28Uh, thank you.
22:31Charlie, are you okay?
22:33Uh, um, that was Fifi's solicitor.
22:38Go on.
22:40She has left everything to me.
22:43Ines has been written out of the will.
22:45Oh.
22:46But, we need something stronger than this.
22:49Come next door.
22:50Okay.
22:50I, I need to tell Simone.
22:52Yeah.
22:53Okay.
22:53Oh, I didn't know how much I needed that.
23:08Oh, my pleasure.
23:09Oh, please.
23:10Hello, Carol.
23:15Yeah.
23:15Okay, I've just got to take this.
23:16Yes, yes, yes, of course.
23:20Okay.
23:21I had no idea how much I meant to her.
23:23Sometimes I think it's the quality of the quantity of time we spend with someone that makes the greatest impact.
23:29Mm.
23:30She once netted me a complete nativity set for Christmas.
23:33Really?
23:34Mary Joseph the lot.
23:37The kings were a little unusual.
23:39But she did an amazing job with the sheep.
23:43She was quite the character.
23:45She never got over losing Brian.
23:47They were real soulmates.
23:51So in love.
23:56Oh.
23:57Fantastic place you've got here, Pierre.
24:00I bet those glass bottles are not from Ikea.
24:04No.
24:05My grandmother, she used to make the most amazing, um, how you say, pickles.
24:10I never had the heart to throw them away.
24:13That was Caron.
24:15Inez says something about Brian.
24:17Can we just nip next door?
24:19Yes.
24:19Sorry.
24:20Sorry.
24:24Oh.
24:29Oh.
24:31Oh.
24:31Oh.
24:44Oh.
24:44Oh.
24:50Time for you to come home, baby.
24:54Oh.
25:03Douglas!
25:05Douglas!
25:06Douglas!
25:06Douglas, where are you, you fool?
25:08Oh, Miss Gloria
25:12She said she's ready to have Douglas home
25:15Tell her we are having the time of our lives
25:17And we would like to keep him a while longer
25:19Oh, darling
25:38I suppose it's a consolation that Fifi never got to know that Brian was a thief
25:52She didn't have a clue about antiques
25:56All this stuff will have to be returned to its rightful owners, of course
26:00Of course, I don't want to inherit stolen goods, it's bad karma
26:04Right, I'm going to have one last sweep around and then we'll call it a day
26:08Okay, Simone should have been here by now, we will give you a lift home
26:10Ma, ma chérie
26:13Ma, I'll put the kettle on
26:28Sorry!
26:37What the hell?
26:38Alan?
26:46Can't you just live in the wild?
26:47It's a dog, darling
26:48There are dogs that live in the wild
26:50Not Gloria's dog, it drinks bloody coconut water
26:53Look, over there
26:56Douglas, don't move, Douglas
27:00Stay
27:01Stay
27:02Oh, we're so relieved to see you, boy
27:08Look at him
27:08Not the tiniest bit of remorse at what he's put us through
27:11Come along, Douglas
27:12Come on, Douglas
27:13Time to go home
27:13There we go
27:14No, you'll be not home
27:15Come along
27:16Ah, never mind
27:18So you found out about the will and you attacked Charlie
27:28She's my dear friend, my business partner, and she certainly does not deserve that
27:35But Fifi left me no choice, did she?
27:39When we heard about Ines being written out of Fifi's will and everything being left to your friend, I just saw red
27:49It was the last straw
27:54I knew she would be at Fifi's house looking at her winning, so I thought I would pay her a visit
28:01It was nothing personal to your friend
28:05She just doesn't deserve it
28:08She's not even blood
28:09Well, your methods of attack have certainly changed in 24 hours, I will give you that
28:15I did not kill Fifi
28:17So you did not replace her detergent with pure ammonia?
28:20I have absolutely no idea what you were talking about
28:24I think you and your wife went to the shop yesterday, swapped her cleaning bottles, locked her in the bathroom and left her to die from the gas
28:31I did not even know how she died and...
28:34And me and my wife were somewhere else at that time
28:40Ah, yes, at home, with no one to confirm this
28:43We can, actually
28:47Go on
28:49We were at the Bureau de Post
28:53Doing what?
28:56Cashing a cheque
28:57What cheque?
29:01Brian's employee pension cheque
29:03You were cashing a dead man's pension cheque
29:08So you never told them that he died?
29:11For ten years?
29:14Mourn't you, that is low
29:15How did Fifi not know?
29:19It was a company pension me and Brian took out
29:23Fifi didn't have to know
29:25It wasn't yours
29:26He left us in poverty
29:28What were we supposed to do?
29:30We were there at 5pm like we are every Wednesday
29:36You can check with the Bureau de Post
29:41Will I be able to claim back my half-missing stock?
29:46Sorry?
29:50Our joint company paid for the stock
29:53Half of what it is worth is mine
29:56The stolen goods will be returned
29:58And the insurance companies will be informed
30:01I also have to remind you that pension theft is fraud
30:05It carries a hefty fine
30:07And sometimes a custodial sentence
30:10Not to mention the assault on an innocent woman
30:13All for the court to decide
30:16Well if Alan's alibi checks out
30:22Then we're right back at the beginning
30:23As to who killed Fifi
30:25It would seem so
30:26I just got your message, are you okay?
30:32Er...
30:32Dominique?
30:33Shh...
30:34Yeah, yeah, I'm fine
30:36I didn't even know what was going on
30:37I mean, poor old Charlie though
30:39You sure?
30:40Yeah
30:40Yeah, you can, um...
30:43Let go of my hands now
30:44Oh, sorry, sorry
30:46Erm...
30:47Do you mind giving me a lift back to Fifi's?
30:49I really want to finish the inventory for Charlie
30:51Yeah, yeah
30:52Yeah
30:53Not letting you out my side, though, yeah?
30:54I've said it many times over the years, Mrs. Lloyd-James
31:04We make quite the team
31:05I want a hot shower
31:08And I need to call my hairdresser
31:11I think you look rather windswept and interesting
31:14Jeremy
31:15Get
31:16Me
31:18Home
31:19Yes, of course, darling
31:21Oh, Charlie, I'm so glad you're okay
31:37Is Simone with you?
31:40Good
31:41I'm here now
31:43No, it's okay
31:45Dom's with me
31:46Yeah
31:47Oh, okay
31:49Yep
31:50Yep, I'll see you later
31:52Okay, bye
31:53Blimey
31:56Told Charlie's a very rich woman now, then
31:58Oh, she's not actually
32:00She's got to give it all back
32:01And what I wouldn't have done to give my hand to...
32:04Oh, no
32:04He's escaped again
32:06No good trying to get away, mate
32:31You've been caught a red pod
32:33Yes
32:34Douglas
32:37Douglas, I think you've found yourself a truffle
32:44I bet those, er...
32:48Those glass bottles are not from Ikea
32:50Oh, my goodness
32:51I knew they weren't pickle jars
32:55Right
32:56Right, come on
32:57Let's get you on
32:58Come on
32:59Yeah
33:00You gonna be okay?
33:01Yeah, fine, I'll see you later
33:02Er...
33:04The thing is, Jean
33:05What?
33:06Well, I don't want to leave you
33:07After what happened earlier
33:08I was really scared
33:10What are you on about?
33:12I'll be fine
33:13Yeah, well, when you put it like that
33:18Look on
33:20I'll speak to you if I need anything
33:21A regular little truffle factory
33:50Good grief
33:53Good grief
33:57Mustard gas
34:00Oh, hi
34:14Hi
34:16You shouldn't be in here
34:17I was just looking around Fifi's and...
34:21This is not Fifi's shed, is it?
34:24It's yours in your shared garden
34:27Exactly
34:28And, um, you've been preserving very expensive truffles in very expensive jars
34:35Yes
34:36Well done
34:37And I'm starting to think I'm not the first person to have worked this out
34:42I've had my lovely little job for two years now
34:46Nearly have enough for a deposit for my house
34:49And Fifi discovered your secret
34:52Yes
34:54That meddling old girl worked out what was going on
34:58She recognized my green jars were for preserving truffles
35:03What, and you actually killed her for it?
35:05Why, she wanted 60%?
35:08These are Perigot black truffles
35:11There was maybe 1,000 euros per kilo
35:13She said if I didn't agree, she was going to evict me
35:17I'm sorry, but she had to go
35:20So you wouldn't have given her a smaller percentage?
35:24What?
35:26Well, the shed is on her land
35:27We shared the land!
35:29She agreed that I could use her shed
35:31She said it would be my own private space
35:33She didn't even come in here, it was her husband's place
35:35She agreed
35:36But, oh, no
35:37Once she realized there was money to be made, she wanted what I had worked
35:41So hard to build
35:42Yes, well, that was very unfair, very unfair
35:45Exactly
35:46It really was very unfair
35:50And do you know what, Jean?
35:52I tried so hard to be kind
35:55Of course I did
35:56I even paid her to clean my house
35:59She never stopped cleaning
36:02It's hilarious, huh?
36:03The irony, the thing that you love the most
36:06Ends up being the thing that kills you
36:07Because, of course, you know
36:09She always used to clean
36:11In the same old-fashioned, planet-killing way
36:15First a ton of bleach
36:16Then a lot of detergent
36:17Oh, it drove me mad
36:19I'm sure
36:21So that's where you got the idea of
36:24How to kill her?
36:27Every time she left my house
36:28It stank of bleach
36:30I was going to put some in her coffee
36:33So she choked on it
36:34But it seemed too obvious
36:35And then it came to me
36:38I was preparing a new module for my students
36:42About the Battle of Ypres in World War I
36:45Did you know the Battle of Ypres was the first time the Germans used mustard gas?
36:49A simple mixture of bleach and ammonia
36:54A little idea started forming
36:59That, of course, your shop was the perfect location
37:02She would be alone in an enclosed space
37:04At the same time, every week
37:06Cleaning in her same old-fashioned way
37:10So thank you for that
37:12By now
37:15Of course, now that you know that
37:17You will have to die in the same way
37:20You will have to die in the same way
37:50You will have to die in the same way
37:51You will have to die in the same way
37:52You will have to die in the same way
37:53You will have to die in the same way
37:54You will have to die in the same way
37:55You will have to die in the same way
37:56You will have to die in the same way
37:57You will have to die in the same way
37:58You will have to die in the same way
37:59You will have to die in the same way
38:00You will have to die in the same way
38:01You will have to die in the same way
38:02You will have to die in the same way
38:03You will have to die in the same way
38:04You will have to die in the same way
38:05You will have to die in the same way
38:06You will have to die in the same way
38:07You will have to die in the same way
38:08You will have to die in the same way
38:09You will have to die in the same way
38:10I'm going to join you at the hospital.
38:34Okay.
38:40You were very lucky, Jean.
38:45That scarf saved your life.
38:47Pierre has not fared well for Miss at all.
38:50Yeah, thank God my granny always told me to carry something if it got cold.
38:54And if you hadn't got them out, Don...
38:57Yeah.
39:00Why did he come back?
39:01It was him.
39:03Houdini here. Escaped again.
39:05Came back to finish sniffing the truffles.
39:06Well, I owe you one too then, Douglas.
39:12I'd better get back.
39:13Have you been checked out by the paramedics?
39:15Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
39:17Good.
39:17Take your time, but as you know, you will all need to be interviewed and make a statement.
39:23Maybe not you.
39:28Did he just crack a fairly funny joke?
39:32I'm not sure.
39:36You can't go anywhere.
39:58I'm shattered.
40:09I'm not surprised.
40:11It has been a bit of a day.
40:12You say that again?
40:14Don't.
40:14Yeah.
40:16Imagine getting on with your day, not realising you were sat on millions.
40:21Literally.
40:22You know that battered old chair in the lounge?
40:24That was an actual Louis Marjorie.
40:26Well, an Art Nouvelle worth about 20,000 euros.
40:29Shocking.
40:31Thank you for today.
40:33You actually saved me life.
40:36Don't say it like that.
40:38Yeah, but you did.
40:39Yes, and I'm very glad that I did.
40:43But I learnt something very important today about Eugene White.
40:47What's that, Dominic Hayes?
40:49That I should never, ever, ever listen to a single word you say again.
40:54Look, where would you have been right now if I hadn't have come back?
40:58Have you go, she says.
41:00I'll be absolutely fine, she says.
41:02Is he telling another dad joke?
41:04Yeah, no glow.
41:06Hello, love.
41:06Are you feeling better?
41:07Yeah, I can walk.
41:08Oh, it's a miracle.
41:09Oh, hello, fairy fun chaps.
41:14Oh, I have missed you.
41:17Oh, thanks, you two.
41:20Has he been a good boy?
41:21Absolutely no problem at all.
41:23A complete and utter joy.
41:25Eh, it's brilliant you got on so well.
41:28Me dog sister's just moved town, so I'll be calling on you two now if I need him looking after.
41:32How lovely.
41:33Would be our pleasure.
41:37Thanks, I'll have a white wine.
41:39On the house.
Be the first to comment