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Palm Royale (2024) Season 2 Episode 8 - Maxine Hits the Slopes
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FunTranscript
01:29There she is, Mrs. Rollins, freshly bathed for her journey.
01:35Thank you, Lottie.
01:36You've been incredibly kind.
01:38A mother at long last.
01:42Auf Wiedersehen, Penelope.
01:44May you have a blessed future.
01:46General Harrison's eggnog.
02:07Bourbon, neat, whole milk.
02:13Grootsy pals, that's hello in Switzerland.
02:16Grasshopper, Danka.
02:20Prepare to leave your Palm Beach worries at the door and become newer, better European versions of ourselves on the continental continent.
02:27Are you ready to capture Norma and throw her in a dark hole forever and ever, amen?
02:33What happened to leaving our troubles at the door?
02:35This isn't an ordinary trouble.
02:36This is a tripart mission.
02:38One, avenge my sister.
02:39Two, get you out of the basement of the FBI.
02:42And three, give you a lights-out, explosive headline that's bound to win to a Pulitzer.
02:47Three stones.
02:48One, identity, thieving, murderous.
02:50Even so rabbit-thrilling.
02:52Maybe some time away might give me a fresh career perspective.
02:56Nothing like some alpine air and an international woman hunt to clear the mind.
03:02Evelyn, listen, I want...
03:04Oh, okay.
03:04I wanted to thank you as my conservatress for coming with me on this Swiss sojourn.
03:09I'm not coming abroad with you.
03:10I'm coming abroad with my gorgeous husband.
03:13Right, darling?
03:14A perfect opportunity for a late honeymoon, sun, ski, me.
03:20It'll be nice to take a break from the stress of the business.
03:23What stress of the business?
03:25Oh, look.
03:26It's the incubator waddling in for a landing.
03:28Oh, everyone, clear the path.
03:30Make sure there's no shipping hazards here.
03:32VIP, very important passenger, coming through.
03:35Shut the fuck up, Maxine.
03:36Please, hold the sauce, sister.
03:38I'm just trying to help you out.
03:39Like when you played dead and haunted me?
03:42I could kill you.
03:43I really could.
03:43Are we about to have an incident?
03:46No, no incident.
03:47Because any incident you cause will be cause for rejection.
03:51As a decorated airman, you have my solemn aircrew vow that there will be no cause for rejection
03:56between my ex-wife and my wife.
03:59You?
04:00A pilot?
04:01Yes, ma'am.
04:02I proudly flew the Dallas-Cleveland-Atlanta route for 20 solid years.
04:06Douglas, I think the air hostesses are making fun of you.
04:17Bula and Bula were big men, too, vants.
04:21In the war.
04:23In the war, we were huge men.
04:26We were fighter pilots.
04:28Now we're back to doing women's while pushing vorm nuts.
04:32Only good part of every speech layover is taking Bula's plane for a spin.
04:37I dock it at our sister's La Chalet Villa that rip.
04:43Where's the bathroom?
04:45In the rear.
04:46Move.
04:47Take your seats.
04:50Go ahead.
04:53No.
04:53Is there anything about me in there?
05:03What are you doing here?
05:04For your informazione, we are on a secret mission.
05:08Patch Post is threatening to spread a rumor that I'm Nixon's paramour.
05:12And my only salvation from societal ruin is the dim hope that Axel has some bejeweled eggs
05:19stuffed in a safety deposit box.
05:20The Black Widow and her mustachioed man on an international gambit full of intrigue and jewels and scandal?
05:28Why, you two are the Jenna and James Bond of Palm Beach.
05:31You put it in most Maximian terms.
05:35That's a spirit.
05:36Let's take off.
05:41It's not my decision.
05:50It's not my decision.
05:51It's not my decision.
05:52It's not my decision.
05:53It's not my decision.
05:54It's not my decision.
05:55It's not my decision.
05:56It's not my decision.
05:57It's not my decision.
05:58It's not my decision.
05:59It's not my decision.
06:00It's not my decision.
06:01It's not my decision.
06:02It's not my decision.
06:03It's not my decision.
06:04It's not my decision.
06:05It's not my decision.
06:06It's not my decision.
06:07It's not my decision.
06:08It's not my decision.
06:09It's not my decision.
06:10It's not my decision.
06:11It's not my decision.
06:12It's not my decision.
06:13It's not my decision.
06:14It's not my decision.
06:15It's not my decision.
06:16It's not my decision.
06:47You still don't understand how it's possible.
06:52Switzerland is how.
06:54It never takes sides in the who's who and the what's what of the world.
06:58And it's more than happy to oblige the wealth and whims of one of its greatest families.
07:03Of which you are now legally a member.
07:08Yes, but a painting doesn't make me a telecourt, Norma.
07:12In Switzerland, names are given, names are taken.
07:17And now, you have one of the most powerful, my son.
07:28Pardon me, ma'am.
07:30Oh.
07:30Is this seat taken?
07:32Where's Mitzi?
07:34Oh, she's in the bathroom again.
07:38That is quite a spiffy travel coat.
07:40Oh, yeah.
07:41The telecourt ski jacket.
07:43I always wore it when I, uh...
07:45Went skiing?
07:47Yeah.
07:49It's kind of like old times, huh?
07:53You and me, up in the clouds.
07:55I can't stop thinking about you.
08:06Douglas.
08:07Stop.
08:09I'm not going to do to Mitzi what she did to me.
08:13Okay.
08:14Here's what I'm thinking.
08:16Once the baby comes and we free up the money,
08:19then I'll divorce Mitzi.
08:21I'll put her up someplace really nice.
08:24And you and I can get remarried.
08:26And I'll be a father.
08:29And as long as you're okay with having someone else's kid in our life, then...
08:34We could have it all.
08:36Yeah.
08:37The money, the name, the house.
08:40Well, maybe not the house.
08:42Unless you want to shack up with a robber.
08:43Speaking of that...
08:48There's something I want to tell you.
08:52Gosh, how do I say this?
08:54Norma isn't Norma.
08:56Her real name is Agnes, and she's an imposter.
08:59So it's not really her house to give away in the first place.
09:01Hey, you're talking Swahili here, Max.
09:03Okay, just focus on this.
09:04The house, the money, the fortune...
09:06All of it is...
09:08It's already yours.
09:10Sorry, I didn't tell you earlier.
09:14I just didn't...
09:14You didn't want me to squander away the money before you got your half.
09:19No.
09:19God, you know me so well.
09:21I do.
09:26Don't mind me.
09:30Gin and Tommy, please.
09:34What a nice watch, man.
09:36Evelyn got it for me.
09:37Oh.
09:38What was the occasion?
09:41She just loves me?
09:43Of course.
09:47I am sorry about the pickle the murder of my sister put the Pomeroyal in.
09:51That is the least of our worries.
09:55Have a seat.
10:00Worries, you say?
10:02Do tell.
10:03You and me are going to tête-à-tête.
10:16Tête-à-tête.
10:17It's French.
10:18For even though you have a bun in that oven, Douglas most certainly did not do the baking.
10:22In fact, I think a certain alligator wrangler's spermatozoa is multiplying in that tiny uterus
10:28of yours, even as we speak.
10:30Your French stinks.
10:31They say a picture speaks a thousand words.
10:34I'm a very popular face in Palm Beach.
10:38Lots of men have my picture.
10:39I see.
10:40And do you love lots of men in Palm Beach forever and ever?
10:46Either I blow the lid off this joint, or you give me half that baby money when the kid is born.
10:50I can't give you half the baby trust because Douglas already promised it to Maxine.
10:58Much to my chagrin.
11:00Chagrin?
11:00That's French for leave me the fuck alone.
11:11Oh.
11:12Come here often?
11:13Why the smug mug?
11:15A little birdie told me you might be having some problems with the old IRS.
11:18Well, it seems little birdies are in season because one just told me you're about to come
11:21into scads of money once Mitzi pops out her nugget.
11:25Yes, well, your little birdie tweets truth.
11:27And maybe I could send some of those scads over to the IRS on your behalf.
11:34Out with the if I sniff.
11:36If your business becomes my business.
11:39We're partners at the Palm Royale.
11:42I do believe I have you by the balls, if that's the right saying.
11:46Fine.
11:46Well, it has to be different this time.
11:49No scheming or double dealing.
11:51No secrets.
11:52In that case, um, I, um, I, I may have accidentally...
11:58Stepped out on Eddie.
11:59I know.
11:59I saw the apology watch.
12:00What are you talking about?
12:02Evelyn, everyone in Palm Beach knows when someone gives their significant other a fancy
12:07piece of jewelry when it is not a birthday or a holiday, they are indeed saying I'm sorry
12:11without saying I'm sorry.
12:13I feel horrible even after giving him the watch.
12:17Take it from me.
12:19Be honest from the start and then move on.
12:22Look at me and Douglas.
12:23Not the best example.
12:25Just do it today.
12:28Please.
12:29Promise.
12:30Promise.
12:31Please, take your seats and strap in.
12:34Things are about to get a little boopy.
12:37Oh, dear.
12:38This hotel has a fascinating history.
12:46First it was a convent, and then it became the Flugenorgon, an all-girls boarding school
12:50before converting to a wartime hospital.
12:52Oh, there's another chapter, Ann.
12:53Don't forget.
12:54When Norma Delacorte, nay, Agnes Housiwitz, it was boondoggled and hornswoggled.
13:00That's not what boondoggled means.
13:02What's your plan, gumshoe?
13:03You gonna storm the lobby and throw a butterfly net over her?
13:06No.
13:07It's kind of funny, huh?
13:08You all travel all the way to the other side of the world for a vacation, and you end up
13:12with the exact same people.
13:14That's just how rich people travel.
13:16It's a hurting instinct.
13:17Speak for yourself.
13:18I've never been to this hotel.
13:19It was Skeet and his first wife's.
13:21Special place.
13:22I never wanted to go because I didn't want to be haunted by her ghost.
13:25Being haunted's no fun, right, Maxine?
13:27Mitzi, you really must let that go.
13:29Besides, it was Virginia's idea.
13:31Oh, hell no.
13:32I'm not a part of this.
13:33We all just need to move on.
13:36Well, you know what I'm looking forward to the most?
13:40Skiing.
13:41Oh, same here.
13:43We used to play a game at a boarding school called Bum Bum Rush, and we'd get silly on
13:48peppermint shops and race down the mountain in our skivvies.
13:52Oh, such a gasp.
13:56I'm right here, Dinah.
13:58There's no need to broadcast your skivvies.
14:00Listen, when we get to the premises, boys, you take all the luggage.
14:04Ladies, we'll fan out and look for Robert.
14:06He's the heart and soul of Palm Beach, and he's never done anything bad to any one of us.
14:11We need to bring our native son home.
14:13Agreed?
14:14All right.
14:14Put the pedal to the metal.
14:15We've got to burn the dog.
14:19Oh, my God.
14:20Harry, Harry, Harry!
14:21Harry, Harry, Harry, he's in the car!
14:23Oh, he's rolling!
14:24Oh, my God!
14:25He's in the car!
14:26We've been expecting you.
14:42Welcome to the foam.
14:44We found him.
14:45Robert.
14:46Maxine thought you'd be stuffed in a dungeon.
14:49Still on your manhunt.
14:50What are you planning to do?
14:52Throw a giant butterfly net over her?
14:54No.
14:56Of course Norma knew you would arrive because of the verification of the baby.
15:00She left a while ago.
15:02I'll be at the bar.
15:04Me too.
15:05She left this for you.
15:11Maxine, by the time you read this, I'll be long gone.
15:15One step ahead of you, as always, please enjoy the skiing, hot buttered beer, and our famous
15:23urban hemiflugens, Swiss kidney chowder.
15:29Oh.
15:29From my gap year in Leipzig.
15:31Norma was always a fabulous host.
15:33Hmm.
15:34My son, Robert, will see to your every maid.
15:38Son?
15:43Norma was pregnant.
15:47Norma adopted me.
15:49I am now a Delacorte.
15:51Officially.
15:53Is this because you and I had a fight?
15:55Maxine, not everything is about you.
15:57I'm just trying to find a peaceful life.
15:59Norma's not even Norma, you know.
16:01So all of it, the life, the Delacorte mansion, it's not yours.
16:06In fact, it's Douglass's.
16:11Prove it.
16:15You bet your bottom dollar I'm going to prove it.
16:21Her bellwoman Lottie will assist you from here on.
16:23Lottie?
16:25Oh, God.
16:28I'll be the same.
16:30Oh, that means goodbye.
16:34Lottie, is it?
16:36Um, would you mind directing us to the bank?
16:38Of course.
16:39You just hop on the gondola,
16:41take it all the way to the tippy-top of the mountain,
16:44just above the Hall of Delacorte.
16:46Same whole hall.
16:48Well, jerks.
16:50Yes, hi, hi, hi.
16:52I was wondering if the honeymoon suite might be available.
16:56We're at capacity due to Frampus weekend.
16:59What the hell is Frampus weekend?
17:02Well, Frampus was Crampus' mistress.
17:04Who's Crampus?
17:06Our Santa Claus, demonic rat bastard.
17:10Frampus was Mr. and Mrs. Crampus' maid.
17:14When Mrs. Crampus found out that she was stopping her husband,
17:17she threw her into the fireplace
17:20and burned her for being a conniving,
17:25lying,
17:30adulteress.
17:32I believe that's yours.
17:33No, it's yours.
17:34Vich.
17:35Give it to me.
17:36Ladies, new plan.
17:39We have to prove that Norma is not Norma.
17:41What?
17:42Find Norma bones?
17:43I don't know.
17:44Just start digging.
17:45I'm not digging for some decades-old identity theft.
17:48This is not going to help my career.
17:49Excuse me.
17:50Sorry if I don't have a bunch of Russian moles scurrying around.
17:53This is the best we got.
17:54What Russian mole?
17:55Seriously?
17:56Sorry.
17:57Nothing.
17:59Virginia, is this true?
18:01Hey, Max, come on.
18:01It's time to get to the bank.
18:02Okay, just nose around, see what you can sniff out.
18:04Mitzi.
18:07Tick-tock.
18:08We've got to go to the bank.
18:10I'll be there in a minute.
18:11I just need to call my doctor.
18:13Wind from south, 40 knots.
18:16Big storm brewing tomorrow.
18:18Let me guess.
18:19Wringing your alligator sommelier?
18:21No.
18:22Get on the gondola, bitch.
18:25Evelyn.
18:27Oh, ready to hit the slopes?
18:29Ashley,
18:30I thought we could do some hoard room decorating.
18:33I'm sorry.
18:33I'm positive I misheard you.
18:35Poor broom decorating?
18:37The locals celebrate Frampus weekend by decorating brooms like women and burning them.
18:41Could be fun.
18:44So fun.
18:48What an asshole.
18:50Now I'm a guest in his hotel?
18:52He has the stones to steal my house.
18:55Our house.
18:56We'll get it back.
18:57We just have to prove Norma isn't Norma.
18:59That crazy old crackerjack.
19:01I can't believe she offed her roommate.
19:04Don't call her crazy, Perry.
19:06That is just a label society puts on women.
19:09Exhibit A, Frampus.
19:11Exhibit B, me.
19:13Match post threatening me with her smear campaign.
19:16We should just cut they head for the hills, become Swiss snow people.
19:25But what about the children?
19:27Oh, right.
19:29The boarding school is awfully close.
19:33Austria, then.
19:34I'm sorry, you have children?
19:37I have four.
19:37I'm not the father.
19:41That's husband number one.
19:43But I do like to think of them as my own.
19:47For two days every other year.
19:49Bless my babies.
19:52Look, I think I see the bank.
19:53Where?
19:53Look, on the top of the mountain.
19:56You would think after so many years, I would get used to the altitude, but I swear it is still a real knob gobbler.
20:04Were you here when this was a boarding school?
20:07Before that, toots.
20:09Do you happen to remember Norma Delacorte by any chance?
20:12Oh, yes, Norma.
20:14Of course.
20:16A real spitfire.
20:18It's a shame she had to leave after her father died, but as is our good fortune, she has been our benefactress ever since.
20:26She loved her alma mater.
20:28What about a little girl named Agnes?
20:32I don't remember her.
20:34You know what you really should do?
20:39What's that?
20:40Ask me about me.
20:41I have had a very interesting life.
20:44But all anybody cares about are the young patooties.
20:48Did you know that I used to be a nun?
20:51I know.
20:52Hard to think of a sexual muffin like me hiding all of my bushels.
20:56I was a hot-to-trop girl.
21:00So, they stuck me in a convent.
21:04Nothing more frightening than a sexual woman.
21:07You two understand.
21:09How long have you been together?
21:11Oh, we're just work colleagues.
21:14I'd like us to be equal partners, but one of us won't let the other one in on her top secret secrets.
21:20Sure.
21:21Partners.
21:22Is that the word now?
21:23Oh, I'm a Catholic.
21:26We love you for misms.
21:28Oh, look, there's Frampus.
21:30Fine-looking woman, eh?
21:32Her face looks like it's falling off.
21:35Well, what do you expect?
21:36Her boss threw her into the fire.
21:39Something in the buttermilk ain't clean.
22:02Hello?
22:05Maybe they're closed.
22:07Hello?
22:07Sorry about the wait.
22:11Only one man on deck.
22:14Me, Borg.
22:16Everyone else took off for the Frampus weekend.
22:18Yes, we've heard.
22:20You're all going to the Horbroom burning tonight?
22:23Yours truly is master of ceremonies.
22:26I'm sorry.
22:28From down here, you are the spitting image of...
22:32My brother, Benny.
22:34You're Benny Barnhill's twin brother.
22:36We're a mirror image, identical.
22:40Twans?
22:41I'm a twan.
22:42Oh, gosh, isn't it wonderful?
22:43It's like two hearts waiting as one.
22:45I haven't talked to that arshlock in 40 years.
22:49Oh.
22:51Hello, Dinah Donahue.
22:53My fiancé, Axel Rosenhips, is recently deceased, and we would like to visit his safety deposit box.
23:00Rightio.
23:00Oh, and let me guess, the rest of you are here for the baby verification, right?
23:08Looks good.
23:09She is pregnant.
23:12Oh.
23:12That's it?
23:13Oh, no, of course not.
23:15Safety deposit boxes are upstairs.
23:18Everybody else, join me at my big desk.
23:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, nine, nine, nine.
23:34Okay, so, it looks like we just need the signature of the ex-wife so that she can release her claim on the funds,
23:42and then we can, as you are there, I can say, get the zygin on the road.
23:47Okay, that's me.
23:49Hello, ex-wife.
23:50Ready to sign.
23:51Bell certificate, yes.
23:53There you go.
23:54No grandparents, no parents, no kids.
23:56Dead twin.
23:57Oh.
23:58Oh.
23:58Uh, there is no Maxine Wharton on the claim.
24:03We need the signature of, uh, Penelope Rawlins.
24:10What?
24:11Why?
24:12We were never married, only engaged.
24:15Well, her name was that as a beneficiary, yet, as I'm a parent.
24:20Okay.
24:20A moment of truth.
24:21Nothing.
24:21Huh?
24:22Nothing.
24:22Nothing.
24:23Nothing.
24:24Nothing.
24:24And I assume you need her signature before you can release the funds, correct?
24:37That is correct.
24:38That is correct.
24:38Unless all parties have signed by midnight on the hundredth year of the trust's endowment,
24:44it becomes the property of the Swiss government.
24:47Oh, God.
24:48Oh, God.
24:48Oh, God.
24:49I've been to have the worst reputation in Palm Beach for centuries.
24:53Oh, my God.
24:55I'm certain I'm going to certainly regret asking this, but when is that hundredth anniversary?
24:58Tomorrow?
24:59Tomorrow.
25:01Yes.
25:01Tomorrow.
25:02Tomorrow.
25:03There you go.
25:04There you go.
25:08Wait, wait, wait.
25:10What?
25:11Sometimes I wake in the dead of night
25:13to see Agnes staring at me.
25:17I swear she's planning something horrid.
25:26So this means none of us get any money?
25:30This was all for nothing.
25:31Not nothing.
25:32But not $82 million.
25:35Let me think.
25:38So Linda is still in Poland,
25:41currently on tour with the Bolshoi Ballet.
25:50Ladies!
25:53Hello.
25:54I was wondering if your plane happened to be nearby.
25:57Of course.
25:58Um, would you mind if my ex-husband borrowed it to perform an act of economic heroism?
26:05I'm not letting Mr. Big Steve take off on my string head.
26:12What you need?
26:15It's a very, very dangerous mission.
26:18It would require courage and death-define female bravery.
26:24Go on.
26:27You would need to fly behind the iron curtain
26:29to extract a woman who is being forced to wash dance belts against her will.
26:32Yes?
26:36Is that a yes?
26:41Yes?
26:42Is that a yes?
26:43No.
26:44No.
26:45No.
26:46No.
26:47No.
26:48No.
26:49Oh, thank you very much indeed.
26:56Mm-hmm.
26:57There.
26:59All done.
27:01Who does that look like?
27:03Me?
27:04Mamie Eisenhower.
27:06Oh, my God.
27:08I'm in desperate need of another cocktail.
27:10Would you mind?
27:12More soup, poerto, ok?
27:13Gracias.
27:13For me?
27:19Hello?
27:20Urgent news.
27:21I don't have to sign the baby papers.
27:23Linda does.
27:24Fuck a duck.
27:25No, no.
27:26You can keep that pallet virgin.
27:27I solved it.
27:28I sent the two Swedish stews over to Poland to fetch her,
27:31and she'll be here by morn.
27:32Wait a minute.
27:33You mean to tell me you knew where she was this whole time?
27:36I know.
27:37I'm sorry.
27:38It was a secret that I was keeping before we made our pact.
27:41Listen, she's gonna get here and sign the pa...
27:44Fudge, I just realized I had to show my birth certificate.
27:48How are we gonna prove that Linda is who we say she is?
27:51Well, Linda was born here.
27:53There's gotta be a record of it somewhere.
27:55I'll talk to that old Lottie coot.
27:57Good thinking, pal.
27:59Have you told Eddie yet?
28:06The watch will have to suffice.
28:08Well, if it makes you feel any better,
28:10I had been contemplating having an affair with my ex-husband.
28:13You cannot do that, Maxine.
28:15Well, why?
28:17Because if Mitzi finds out, she'll divorce him,
28:20and then no one gets any money?
28:22Yes.
28:23And also, it's bad.
28:25Bad things come from bad things.
28:27Look at Frampus.
28:28It's true.
28:29Oh, I don't know what I was thinking.
28:31He's about to have a child with another woman.
28:33Would it change things if he wasn't having a child with another woman?
28:43Of course.
28:44I'm happy for him, I guess, in some way.
28:48I don't know.
28:49It's complicated.
28:50Yes.
28:51It is.
28:52Just do what I say, and do not have sex, Maxine.
28:53I mean it.
28:55Your drink, my lady.
28:56Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.
28:57I'm going to have to take it on the run.
28:58About pressing business to attend to regarding our future, but you enjoy yourself.
28:59What?
29:00What?
29:01What about our horror brooms?
29:03I don't understand.
29:04How did Evelyn get my picture?
29:05She found it in my wallet, which fell out of my pants because I was having sex with her.
29:09You had sex with Evelyn?
29:10Hey.
29:11Hey.
29:12Hey.
29:13Hey.
29:14Hey.
29:15Hey.
29:16Hey.
29:17Hey.
29:18Hey.
29:19Hey.
29:20Hey.
29:21Hey.
29:22Hey.
29:23Hey.
29:24Hey.
29:25Hey.
29:26Hey.
29:27Hey.
29:28Hey.
29:29Hey.
29:30Ty employee, buddy.
29:31Ty employee, friend.
29:32I'm just doing what I have to do.
29:33I'm fucking playing dress up with a fucking crazy lady who thinks I'm a ghost.
29:37I'm doing my part.
29:39You do yours.
29:40I'm having a baby.
29:42Is that not sufficient, Jed?
29:45Kill Evelyn.
29:47I can't do that.
29:49I'm pregnant.
29:51Oh, bootlegger.
29:52I'm ready for my bubble bath.
29:55Do what I said, or don't come home.
29:58We weren't supposed to hurt people.
30:15Grasshopper to go, my good salaud.
30:21Oh, stag brother, prepare to reclaim your birthright.
30:26James and Jenna Bond have your proof.
30:31The real Norma wrote my Axel all about her creepy roommate, Agnes,
30:36who, guess what, was plotting something horrid.
30:40I knew it. Oh, I did it. I saved the day.
30:44Actually, we did. Hit the slopes.
30:48Da. Good luck.
30:50Dearest Axel, Agnes is at it again.
30:54And she's always lurking in the shadows, like some sort of ghost.
30:58She's usually quite peculiar.
31:01In many ways, her behavior has taken a turn that is more unsettling.
31:05I do not know what to do.
31:07What a beautiful day, man. Incredible.
31:12You should take a trip down the bunny slope.
31:15Powder is sublime.
31:17What are you wearing?
31:19My Delacorte ski jacket.
31:22Every Delacorte man has one.
31:24Oh, no.
31:29No, no, no.
31:30First you steal my house.
31:32Then you steal my identity.
31:34I will not let you steal my Delacorte ski jacket.
31:37This one's mine, not yours.
31:39Har, har, har.
31:41Do you have something on your throat?
31:43Har, har, har!
31:45Dinah? Did you hear that?
31:47Oh, God. Is that the...
31:50Call of my mighty stag, brother.
31:52I must go to him. I'm duty bound.
31:54Fine. Go. I'll wait.
31:58Tis time, brother.
32:01Time for what?
32:03Tis time.
32:05I hereby challenge you to a stag duel.
32:11Right here.
32:12Right now.
32:14In the snow.
32:15Be prepared to be charged.
32:18You don't want this, man.
32:19Then run it.
32:20Then charged again.
32:22I went to war.
32:24I have my tactics.
32:25Tactics?
32:29Easy, easy, easy.
32:31What?
32:33I heard your call, brother!
32:34I got it.
32:35I got it.
32:36I got it.
32:37I got it.
32:38Oh!
32:39Oh!
32:44You all right there, stags?
32:53See you later.
32:54You may have won this battle,
33:03but you sure will not win the war.
33:12Don't worry about me. I'm fine.
33:17Nice.
33:18Open the door.
33:19It's me.
33:20Oh, Douglas.
33:22I can't have you storming my castle.
33:24I promised Devlin I wouldn't.
33:26Well, I think you will change your mind
33:28when you see what I am carrying.
33:30I have to prove that Norma isn't Norma.
33:35All right.
33:36Let's get in here.
33:41What is it?
33:42Can we have sex now?
33:44Proof first.
33:45Okay.
33:46I have in my pocket a packet of letters
33:48that proves that not only does Agnes exist,
33:51but she is most likely a murderer.
33:55What?
34:04What?
34:05They're gone.
34:06I must have switched jackets with Robert
34:07when I was ramming him on the mountain.
34:09What?
34:10Forgive me.
34:11How long have you worked here?
34:13Since the convent days, through the war times,
34:18through the neonatal times,
34:20right up to the ski chalet times.
34:25So you were here when it was a hospital?
34:29The glory days.
34:31You wouldn't have any records from those times.
34:34Birth certificates, perhaps?
34:48Excuse me.
34:49Well, how are you finding Switzerland?
34:54Well, it seems like my wife has completely abandoned me
34:59on our honeymoon, but otherwise it's going swimmingly.
35:05Look, I'm sorry I gave your letters to Evelyn.
35:07That was wrong of me.
35:09But I'd still really like to be your friend.
35:11Ditto, pal.
35:13And don't sweat it.
35:17Ooh, nice watch.
35:19Evelyn gave it to me.
35:21Did she?
35:28Right up with me.
35:30Oh, you changed for dinner?
35:32Well, in Palm Beach we changed for breakfast, lunch,
35:35martinis and dinner.
35:37Oh, how nice.
35:38I've been wearing the same shit for 40 years.
35:43I go slow.
35:44And these aren't what they used to be.
35:47You take your time.
35:48I so appreciate your kindness.
35:59May I tell you something?
36:01As a friend?
36:02Yeah.
36:03In Palm Beach, people only give a significant other fancy jewelry
36:10when it's not a birthday or a holiday for one reason.
36:16What reason?
36:20Guilt.
36:22It's an apology.
36:24An apology for what?
36:26What?
36:31Well...
36:33Let me put it to you this way.
36:36Perry has four.
36:43I'm sorry.
36:47I hope that was the right thing to do.
36:53It was.
36:55Marriage is hard, Eddie.
36:57It's really hard.
36:59But if you love her, please give Evelyn a chance to explain.
37:02I've been her.
37:03As you know.
37:12Wanna ski down with me?
37:15Can you keep up?
37:16Keep up?
37:37You whore.
37:39Cozy room you've got here.
37:41Yeah.
37:42My little bird's nest.
37:44Rollins, you said, yeah?
37:45Penelope Rollins.
37:47Her father's name was Eugene, but everyone called him Skeet.
37:51I think you love this Skeet guy. I can tell.
37:54Another life, when I was just a Rollins.
37:58Not that being a Rollins was simple, but since then I've tacked on so many names,
38:02I fear I'm getting further and further from myself.
38:08Live long enough as a woman and you will be many people along the way.
38:14All of them will be you.
38:15Oh.
38:17That's what I'm afraid of.
38:19Racine.
38:21Margo's birth.
38:23Oh.
38:25Look, here we are.
38:27Rollins.
38:29Penelope.
38:31Papa named Eugene.
38:34Mama Linda?
38:35Yes.
38:36Penelope's mother's name was Linda, which is why she now calls herself Linda.
38:42One life.
38:44So many names.
38:46Yes.
38:50Why don't you stay up here for a little bit?
38:53Be alone.
38:55I think you might enjoy that.
38:57I might.
38:58Yes.
38:59I know you are out there, pretty thing.
39:30You do not want to do whatever it is you are thinking of doing.
39:39Let's go get some grub, yeah?
39:44Yeah.
39:46You know, back in the convent days, we nuns used to stick around in the back halls
39:51so the priests wouldn't be tempted.
39:54Jerks.
39:56Yeah, jerks.
39:59Come, sit by the fire.
40:14I'll go get the kid.
40:29He's in the shower.
40:30So what's your plan?
40:32Shoot.
40:35What are you doing?
40:41What did you learn how to pick a lock?
40:44Sister Immaculata used to make me break into the priest's candy bolt.
40:47Of course.
40:48It's all about getting the tongue in the right place.
40:58Oh, Norma.
41:00I've become someone I don't recognize.
41:03Such is life.
41:05You tell me everything.
41:07I've misled so many people.
41:09People have been hurt.
41:12And worse.
41:14The idea of going back to Palm Beach for this big wedding of the season.
41:19For what?
41:21It's a big, disgusting show.
41:25You're going to be a mother, Mitzi.
41:28And a mother does what she must for her child.
41:32You make it sound easy.
41:35Switzerland was made for moments like this.
41:40What is this?
41:42A Catholic annulment.
41:44You'll be free of Douglas for good.
41:46There we are.
42:02There they are.
42:04What are you doing?
42:06Taking back my Delacorte ski jacket.
42:08Stop being so turlish.
42:10Just let's go, just leave it.
42:12Come on.
42:14I pressed the food for dinner.
42:16Open the window.
42:17Open the window.
42:18Open the window.
42:19Open the window.
42:20Open the window.
42:21Open the window.
42:22Open the window.
42:24Woo-hoo!
42:26Woo-hoo!
42:30Fancy.
42:32What's the occasion?
42:34This is a big, big night.
42:36And what is your window doing open?
42:38You're going to catch your death.
42:39Oh, please, you're just angry because father never loved you.
42:45It's because I knew his secret.
42:48What secret?
42:50He had a second family.
42:53Woo- aquela-
42:54a-
42:55Oh-oh!
43:15Help!
43:16Ha!
43:17Ha!
43:19Get close to me!
43:26Go with me!
43:32Grab it, grab it!
43:49Get close to me!
44:02Welcome to the farm with poor Brunbarnie!
44:19You okay?
44:36You rocked out my head!
44:38Come on!
44:39I am fine.
44:41Party Poopers!
44:46Agnes P. Moriarty.
44:49She's buried here.
44:52No.
44:55Norma's buried here.
44:58The real Norma.
45:03Norma Bones.
45:14You said no one would find you here, Norma.
45:16Missy's my favorite, so I invited her.
45:19You're tempting fate.
45:21Oh, pish.
45:22I'll keep her secret, Robert.
45:28What are you up to?
45:29What are you up to?
45:36So, this is what vacation is like.
45:39I can't believe you won't tell me about the Russian Bowl.
45:42You need to drop it, Anne.
45:43Sorry.
45:45My restless, inquiring mind is a curse.
45:47And I know you want to tell me.
45:51Aren't we there yet?
45:53As friends?
45:55As partners in this adventure?
45:57I can't tell you I lose my job.
46:00You hate your job.
46:02You're always saying how those people use you and take you for granted.
46:05And they don't see you as a real person.
46:14There's a Russian Bowl in Palm Beach.
46:15Someone with a direct line to the Kremlin.
46:17This person is highly connected.
46:18And although their identity remains unknown,
46:20it is known they run in circles with Pinky and Raquel Kimberly Marco.
46:23However, the Marcos have gone missing ever since they got arrested by the IRS in a secret raid.
46:34How do you feel?
46:36Great.
46:37I thought I was going to go crazy.
46:39You stay locked up inside yourself.
46:41It makes anyone crazy.
46:43Like that loom, Lottie.
46:44You know why they made sexy girls go away to places like this back then, don't you?
46:48There's Anne.
46:49Anne!
46:50Virginia!
46:51Come quick.
46:53Here, look.
46:55Look!
46:57Agnes P. Moriarty.
46:591890 to 1905.
47:02She's not alone.
47:07Who's Charlotte Moriarty?
47:091865 to...
47:11There's no death year.
47:13I mean, she's still alive.
47:15Anne, why were girls sent to this place?
47:18If they were unmarried and pregnant.
47:22Charlotte!
47:23That's long for...
47:24Lottie!
47:26So Lottie's enormous.
47:30Mother.
47:31Vandu!
47:32Sit down, Mama.
47:34Mama?
47:35Yes.
47:36We're all family here, or we could be.
47:39You all need to eat your Alfred McGronin.
47:43It's winter here.
47:45You're way too skinny.
47:48Missy's being a very brave girl.
47:51She's annulled her marriage to Douglas.
47:55It takes a lot of courage, Missy.
47:57However, there is a matter of the trust.
47:5982 million smack-a-roos.
48:02Vina?
48:04Yes, please. Thank you.
48:06That is a lot of money just to leave sitting there.
48:10Well, I have no intention of letting it just sit.
48:13All you have to do, Mitzi, is marry a Delacorte.
48:18You happen to know one, Robert?
48:20Yeah, but I'm not a Delacorte.
48:26I adopted you. You're my son.
48:29But you are not a Delacorte.
48:31I've been a Delacorte longer than you've been alive.
48:35I say who I am, nobody else.
48:38I've earned this name, and nobody is going to take it from me or from you.
48:43Shakespeare asked, what's in a name?
48:46I think he thought a name had no inherent value or meaning.
48:52Bozo! He didn't have 82 million bucks attached to his.
48:57The name Delacorte saved my life.
49:00And now is going to save this poor, unmarried girl.
49:06That money was never Douglas's.
49:10It was never Maxine's. Hell, it was never mine.
49:13That money belongs to the child.
49:20What do you say, my boy?
49:22Do it for mother?
49:23Do it for mother?
49:40I'm getting married in the morning.
49:42Ding dong! The bells are going to chime!
49:47Shut up, mother.
49:48So this is where you've been hiding?
49:53No, not hiding.
49:55Ruminating.
49:57Anything you want to ruminate in my direction?
50:01In fact, there is.
50:05I...
50:09I...
50:10I don't think that's Douglas's baby.
50:20I don't believe it.
50:21I didn't either at first, but then I pressed Mitzi, and I'm telling you that beam pole is up to no good.
50:27She's a clever little rat.
50:28Rat?
50:29I am working multiple lanes, baby.
50:31Meantime, Maxine has no idea, and I'm getting her to give me some of her half of the baby money to pay off the IRS.
50:38And then after Linda, yes, Linda gets here.
50:42My bet is dollars to donuts, one call to Interpol, and we get our house back.
50:46Wow.
50:50And I did it all for us.
50:52For you.
50:55Is that all?
50:56Is that all?
50:57Isn't that enough?
50:59Your wife is a genius.
51:00My wife is a snake!
51:09Was it Jed?
51:10I love you.
51:15Daddy...
51:20I love you.
51:28Happy honeymoon.
51:29Happy honeymoon.
51:30Happy honeymoon.
51:31Happy honeymoon.
51:32Happy honeymoon.
51:33Happy honeymoon.
51:34Happy honeymoon.
51:35Happy honeymoon.
51:36Happy honeymoon.
51:37Happy honeymoon.
51:38Happy honeymoon.
51:39Happy honeymoon.
51:40Happy honeymoon.
51:41Happy honeymoon.
51:42Happy honeymoon.
51:43Happy honeymoon.
51:44Happy honeymoon.
51:45Happy honeymoon.
51:46Happy honeymoon.
51:47Happy honeymoon.
51:48Happy honeymoon.
51:49Happy honeymoon.
51:50Happy honeymoon.
51:51Happy honeymoon.
51:52Happy honeymoon.
51:53Happy honeymoon.
51:54Happy honeymoon.
51:55Happy honeymoon.
51:56Happy honeymoon.
51:57Happy honeymoon.
51:58Happy honeymoon.
51:59Rough night?
52:01That's an understatement.
52:03Perry.
52:05I've been looking high and low for you.
52:07I saw you being all chummy with your ex-boyfriend.
52:11Perry, you were totally out of line.
52:13Hard, hard. Hard!
52:15Come, everyone, gather around the fireplace.
52:19I have a story to tell.
52:21Everybody come, gather around the fireplace.
52:25Quiet, please.
52:27Whatever you do, don't tip her off that we know what we know.
52:29We have to keep her ignorant and buttered up,
52:31so she'll spill.
52:33Quiet!
52:37This is the history of Frampus, told by me.
52:41Lottie.
52:43Frampus had a different name once,
52:45but that name has been forgotten two times.
52:49What we do know is that she was a small-town girl
52:53with big city dreams.
52:57She found work as a scullery maid
53:01with Mr. and Mrs. Frampus.
53:03Now, I know that your Santa Claus is just a nice fat man,
53:07but our Frampus is not quite so cuddly.
53:11He's covered in black fur.
53:13He has horns and feet like a goat.
53:17Hard to believe that a man like this
53:19has an easy time with the ladies, but...
53:21Women are easy, Lottie.
53:23Just ask this Frampus whore.
53:25Well, then I curse you, Perry.
53:27I curse you like the witch whore that I am.
53:31Hey, no more from the peanut gallery.
53:37So, time passes.
53:39Frampus falls in love.
53:43She feels bad.
53:45She cares for Mrs. Frampus, too.
53:49But her love for the horned man is fierce.
53:53It's strong, it burns like a fire inside,
53:59getting stronger and stronger day by day.
54:03She makes a mistake.
54:07As humans are about to do.
54:11Your room service has arrived.
54:14Perfect timing.
54:16Gosh, I really want to read this first letter.
54:18We had fun today.
54:20Together.
54:22Yes.
54:28Okay.
54:30Here we go.
54:36Mrs. Frampus finds out about their little secret.
54:40And boy, is she mad.
54:42Dear Dad.
54:44I hope it's okay that I call you that.
54:46I keep writing, but you never write me back.
54:51Dear Dad.
55:02Oh, these can't be from Norma.
55:04I saw you in the papers after you were shot.
55:07I never thought I'd find you.
55:09What?
55:10Well, these are all addressed to Robert.
55:14Douglas, what's wrong?
55:15Her rage is so much that it threatens to destroy her.
55:18She decided to destroy poor Frampus instead.
55:22She threw lentils in front of the fire, and then she told Frampus to run and get her broom, to clean it up, and then BAM!
55:31She shoved her into the roaring flames.
55:35But what Mrs. Crampus doesn't know is that she has infected Frampus with her rage.
55:44Douglas, what is it?
55:45The schnapps.
55:46Douglas, what is it?
55:47The schnapps.
55:48What?
55:49Don't drink the schnapps.
55:50Douglas!
55:51Norma's mother gave his...
55:52What?
55:53Douglas, what is it?
55:54What's wrong?
55:55Douglas, talk to me.
55:56The evil will be punished.
55:57The karma will come.
55:59Anyone who has done wrong will be struck down.
56:03And that is why I say beware the schnapps.
56:06The evil will be punished.
56:09The karma will come.
56:12Anyone who has done wrong will be struck down.
56:17And that is why I say beware the evil.
56:21And that is why I say beware the curse.
56:28No!
56:29Douglas!
56:30Beware the curse of Frampus!
56:35It's Frampus!
56:38It's Frampus!
56:48Oh!
56:49Oh!
56:50Oh, Douglas!
56:53Oh, no!
56:54Oh, no!
57:02Help!
57:03Douglas, oh, sweetie, what is happening?
57:05What's happening?
57:07Come on!
57:09What?
57:10Goodbye again, Agnes.
57:40Mais ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
57:45Je perds mon sang-croix en écoutant ces vers-là.
57:49De, de, de, de, de, de, de.
57:56J'ai tout essayé, mais c'est pareil chaque fois.
58:00Mais ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
58:04J'ai téléphoné du petit café en bas.
58:07Ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
58:12Ce montant de moi, à chaque fois j'entends ces vers-là.
58:16De, de, de, de, de, de, de, de ce n'est pas libre.
58:20Ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
58:37Ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
58:42Je ne sais pas libre.
58:43Ce n'est pas libre.
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