- 59 minutes ago
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00:00Well, allegedly kicked.
00:01Frank, you don't think old Jasper did it, do you?
00:03OJ was a rodeo star for years.
00:05That's a violent sport.
00:06Who knows what he's capable of?
00:07There's no excuse for what he did.
00:09The chase continues as the convoy approaches protesters
00:11gather to support old Jasper.
00:14I'm guessing this is like a hot-button topic,
00:16but I'm from New Zealand.
00:17Who's OJ?
00:19Are you serious?
00:20I'm not from here.
00:21Wow.
00:22Your country's stupid.
00:23You're a douchebag.
00:24We are entering hour two with no end in sight.
00:27If we hit the county line, this becomes another precinct's glory.
00:30Fred, slide over and take the wheel.
00:32What?
00:32Why?
00:33I'm going to roll out of a moving truck to stop that horse.
00:35Why?
00:35Why?
00:36Never tell me the odds.
00:37I didn't.
00:37Oh!
00:41Landed on my phone wall at Combo.
00:43I'm sorry I made us get those breakfast burritos.
00:46That's tough before a run.
00:47Not helpful.
00:48It appears the officer is pursuing OJ on foot,
00:51a gambit both impressive and completely unnecessary.
00:54Oh, nice.
00:56Woo!
00:58Hope you have a good lawyer, OJ.
01:00That was awesome!
01:01You don't have to tell me.
01:02I was there.
01:03I will no longer be doing Flashback Fridays.
01:06I was, once again, the only one in costume,
01:08and it's just, yeah, it's not fun anymore.
01:10Um, lastly, as you know,
01:14the city has been over budget
01:15and has been looking for ways to save money.
01:18I was hoping that this wouldn't affect us,
01:20but the city is shutting down a precinct.
01:22What?
01:23Am I getting fired?
01:24Not us.
01:25Not us.
01:25Not us.
01:25No, no, we're fine.
01:26We're fine.
01:28But we are absorbing 10 officers from another precinct.
01:31We don't have enough snacks for that.
01:33I only absorb protein in powdered form.
01:35Who are we getting?
01:35Well, it's a fun bunch.
01:42No.
01:42Are you kidding me?
01:52It'll stop playing in a second.
01:55I'm in hell.
01:56Just here God is now.
01:58All my regular need.
01:59T-Bay, I thought you were going to play me in.
02:01Yeah, I told you.
02:02I don't know how to play When Doves Cry yet.
02:04My partner, Daisy, everybody.
02:05Yay.
02:06Welcome, Daisy.
02:07Welcome, everyone.
02:08I lived and breathed for the two-three,
02:10but I'm keeping an open mind for my new home,
02:12except you, you are dead to me, a ghost.
02:14Nate, what?
02:15You're so mad about that emu incident?
02:16You mean when that big bird bit my ham?
02:18Allegedly.
02:19Bit your ham.
02:20Allegedly?
02:20You want me to show you what allegedly looks like?
02:22Not on the first day, let's get the lay of the land.
02:23I veto this merger.
02:25I veto it.
02:26I veto it.
02:27Get.
02:28Okay, you're still going to show me favoritism, right?
02:30I need three days off for the Kentucky Derby.
02:31I already bought the hat, so I have to go.
02:33Am I still the only shred?
02:33Are there any new shreds?
02:34I need a raise in half-day Wednesdays.
02:36Okay, hey.
02:37Hey, hey, hey.
02:37I will happily answer all questions one-on-one in my office.
02:41Meeting adjourned.
02:42Emily.
02:42Why do you have certain Frank I got to build up to?
02:44Hey, I want to be constructive about this,
02:45but my thoughts keep drifting to arson.
02:48I hate the smudger.
02:50Oh, my God.
02:51No.
02:52What?
02:52Did you miss shrimp feast again?
02:54My stupid daughter.
02:55She's smart.
02:56She got into Wellington Prep.
02:57It's the most expensive school in the city.
02:59I'm assuming that your wife's jeans are doing the heavy lifting there.
03:02When we toured the school, there were doctors and lawyers who were worried about paying tuition.
03:05Doctors and lawyers.
03:06So why did you even let her apply?
03:08Well, I didn't think she would get in.
03:09You've met Addie?
03:10You ever talked to her and think, oh, well, you're going places.
03:12Yeah, she sucks.
03:13Not according to Wellington Prep?
03:15I'm so glad that I don't have to think about kids.
03:17Except, like, tangentially when I'm buying condoms and stuff like that.
03:20Yeah, well, I'm glad things are going well between you and Parker.
03:22So good.
03:23Let me just say, I wish I was sitting on a bag of frozen peas right about now.
03:27I wish you wouldn't say that.
03:28Yeah, I regret saying that to you, actually.
03:30We got all day.
03:31Everyone will get their turn.
03:35Go ahead.
03:37Hey.
03:38Hey.
03:39Hi.
03:39Um, so I know we said we'd take time to think about what happened the other night at the penguin enclosure,
03:45and I've thought about it.
03:46Have you thought about it?
03:47It's kind of all I've been thinking about.
03:49Me too.
03:50Wait, we're talking about the kiss part, right?
03:51Not the, like, adorable penguins part.
03:53Yeah, the, yeah.
03:54Okay.
03:55I was thinking it's something we should do again sometime.
03:58Me too.
04:00Amazing.
04:01Mm-hmm.
04:03But we can't do anything until I talk to my boss.
04:05I mean, I'm your supervisor.
04:07You're my subordinate.
04:07Like, this has to be very above board.
04:10Yes, and I can't do anything until I break up with Isabel, and she's out of town right
04:13now, and I, I mean, I can't break up with her over the phone, so.
04:16Oh, really?
04:16Because I was going to talk to my boss today.
04:18I could totally break up with her over the phone.
04:20Are you sure?
04:21Yeah, I think it's actually kinder, in a way.
04:23Oh, yeah, that would work.
04:24Yeah, so, uh, you do your thing, and I'll do my thing, and then we'll, hopefully, maybe.
04:32All right, time's up.
04:34New Officer Crowell wants to talk about his dental coverage, and between you and me,
04:37we hope he has a Cadillac plan, because that man's mouth has a graveyard.
04:41Hey, where have you been?
04:43Why are you so flushed?
04:45Just submerge your day rosacea.
04:46It'll clear up when I learn everybody's name.
04:48You should never learn your enemy's name.
04:49All right, so how are we going to get rid of Templeton, Daisy, Lydia, Terry, Kwame,
04:53Steph, Glenn, Joy, Lee, the other Lee, and what's his face with the ponytail?
04:56Right, convince him the precinct is haunted.
04:59You have old friends.
04:59We could dress them in nightgowns, have them wander around like ghosts.
05:02Matt.
05:03It's Ponytail Matt.
05:04Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
05:05I've got to pay for books, too?
05:06That's not covered in the $10 million tuition?
05:08Hey, you've got a picture on the target, okay?
05:10Your financial ruin is secondary.
05:12Drown in here, Frank.
05:14I'm already delivering food on weekends just to cover club gymnastics.
05:17Now I'm going to have to widen my delivery window to always.
05:19Nothing is open after 10 anyway, except...
05:21Hey.
05:23Okay.
05:23What the hell do you think you're doing?
05:24Oh, I'm desk shopping, Frank, because lead officer gets first pick of the desks.
05:30Lead officer of what?
05:31Being the last guy still quoting Andrew Dice Clay?
05:33Oh!
05:34Oh!
05:35Spot on!
05:36I'm the senior officer, Frank.
05:38I graduated before you.
05:40Yeah, like nine days.
05:41I had shingles.
05:42Oh, shingles was the reason.
05:43Is that why you didn't pass your physical?
05:46Was it shingles or was it Pringles?
05:48Oh, you saw your baby fat and your teen fat and your adult fat.
05:53All right, Grandpa, let's go.
05:54I hooked my ankles around the base of the chair because I knew baby Frank would do this.
05:59Frank!
05:59Move it, you sir!
06:00Stop shaking Templeton and Templeton, stop doing whatever you're doing.
06:03Oh, farting in his chair?
06:05Oh.
06:05Ha ha, yes, that's going to stay in the fabric because my man can throw some beef.
06:09Oh.
06:10Doug, Emily, so who's lead officer, me or Templeton?
06:13I mean, it's not really an official title.
06:15The hell it's not.
06:16It's everything.
06:17It's who runs the precinct.
06:18I'm in charge of the precinct.
06:20Okay, yeah, but like, really?
06:20This is not over.
06:23You guys have to figure out a way to get along, and if not for me, then for the animals.
06:27Okay, you've used that a lot.
06:28Because it works.
06:29Now, high five.
06:37He farted in his hand.
06:39Oh, hilarious.
06:40Aw.
06:41Templeton thinks he's the lead officer.
06:43That's preposterous.
06:45And that Academy photo was totally AI, right?
06:48Yeah, yeah, for sure.
06:49Well, that seemed pretty half-hearted.
06:52You know, Daisy hypes up everything that Templeton says, so step it up.
06:55Yeah, I'm sorry.
06:56I'm just a little distracted.
06:57I left a message for Isabel because I'm pulling the trigger today, so I'm just waiting on the response.
07:01Just give me a compliment.
07:02Just see if you're still in the game.
07:04It could be about my shoulders.
07:05It doesn't have to be.
07:06Yeah, you're, um...
07:08They're usually on the tip of my tongue.
07:10The one day I decided to pay attention to you.
07:13You failed me.
07:13All trucks report of an aggressive bear near Jackson Gulch.
07:16Yep, truck 12 responding.
07:17Be advised the bear's mama, Rose.
07:20She has a huge internet following.
07:22There may be some media attention on this one.
07:25Truck 4's got it.
07:26Truck 12 clearly responded first.
07:28Dibs.
07:28Dibs, shields, no bags.
07:30Frank, call Infinity.
07:31I'm not doing that.
07:32Infinity!
07:33Damn it!
07:34Hey, guys.
07:34Remember what I said about working together before?
07:36Yeah.
07:36Mama Rose is the most famous bear in the Cascades.
07:39Can I get an I from everyone who had a great mom?
07:42That's a code violation.
07:43He only knows I had a bad mom because of bunk time, trust time at the Academy.
07:46No one cares about your sad origin story.
07:49Well, Shred is a big time I.
07:51Because I love my mommy.
07:53No.
07:54I'm senior lead officer.
07:55I got the call.
07:58Frank?
08:00Frank?
08:00My name is Templeton Dodge, and I am drunk.
08:07It's not the 12th green, you son of a bitch.
08:11Oh, can you read that?
08:13No.
08:14Parker says, I want you to do that thing with your thumb that makes me sneeze.
08:18I think this might be a your eyes only kind of thing.
08:19Can you send him a picture of my ear hole?
08:21But shoot it really tight so he's not sure what he's looking at.
08:23Ew.
08:24Oh, my God, he's typing.
08:25Please don't be a photo.
08:27Oh, he says dinner tonight.
08:28That's sweet.
08:28No, dinner must be code.
08:30Because we do this thing called breakfast where he flips me like a pancake and then he pours syrup down my throat.
08:33Is it possible that maybe he wants something more than a provocative ear hole?
08:36Like maybe he actually wants to go on a date with you.
08:38Ew, we're friends with benefits.
08:40Actually, I would say we're just benefits.
08:42We're not really friends.
08:43Oh, wait, wait, wait.
08:44This is it.
08:44Pull over.
08:44Okay.
08:45We're there.
08:48Wait, if you're going to use me for food deliveries, at least let me have a fry.
08:51I need five stars.
08:57All right, bear, it's time for your nap.
09:03Where have you been?
09:05Sorry, I don't typically explain myself to random women in the woods.
09:08We're the Mama Bears.
09:10We're part of Rose's online following.
09:12Why are you just standing there?
09:13Diego's in the mine shaft.
09:14Who's Diego?
09:15Mama Rose's cub?
09:16If you guys wouldn't mind, take your wine caddies, take a step back, and we can get to work, all right?
09:24Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, my fingers to fight, my goodness, my fortress.
09:33T-Bags, the lead officer, he gets the bear!
09:34Back up, Templeton.
09:35We don't want her smelling your flop sweat.
09:37Dang it!
09:38Look who showed up late because he responsibly obeyed traffic laws.
09:41Y'all missed me shooting the big bear.
09:43Let's roll, Shred.
09:44Wait, what about the cub in the mine shaft?
09:46Cub in the mine shaft?
09:47Dibs!
09:50Infinity!
09:51And that's why I think I can be both Officer Shred Taylor's supervisor and lover.
09:55No, don't say lover.
09:55Don't, um, it's just a special friend.
09:57Hey, boss, just checking in.
09:59You aren't answering any of my texts.
10:00No, I just, I, uh, where, where's my phone?
10:05It's on the floor.
10:06Are you okay?
10:07You seem distracted.
10:08Um, no, no, I just, I just have a lot on my plate.
10:10It's all professional stuff, but it's a lot.
10:13Okay.
10:14Channel 4 picked up on Mama Rose's story, and it's blowing up.
10:17Oh, my God.
10:19So I got a headphone on.
10:19So the bear.
10:21Continuing our live coverage of Mama Rose and her beautiful baby cub, Diego.
10:25If we're going to fish the little guy out, these catch poles need to hold.
10:28Yeah, it'll hold.
10:29I'm a knots guy.
10:29I was an Eagle Scout before I was dishonorably discharged, so.
10:32Me and T went ice skating one time, and he laced up my blade so tight I couldn't get him off.
10:35I went to bed wearing ice skates that night.
10:41Oh, well, Frank took his cousin to prom.
10:46His hot cousin.
10:47Seriously?
10:48I did like a hundred push-ups in front of you yesterday.
10:50I am sorry.
10:51I have to take this.
10:52It's Isabel.
10:58You know, I'd ask you to hang yourself, but I know your knots don't hold.
11:01My knot would have held if you hadn't twisted it when you picked it up.
11:03You have to twist it so you can scoop.
11:05You have to be able to scoop.
11:06You know, dumbass.
11:07Scoop.
11:07No twist.
11:07You just pick it up.
11:08How the hell are you going to pick up a bear without scooping it?
11:09Guess who just had a pretty awkward, profanity-laden, but ultimately successful conversation with his now ex-girlfriend.
11:15Was Isabel really upset?
11:17Well, she said she was going to clone my visa and buy a Sprinter van, but I think she's just processing.
11:21Uh-huh.
11:21Did you talk to your boss yet?
11:23I'm trying, but I can't get a hold of him.
11:24I've left, like, ten messages with his assistant.
11:26Trent, wake Mama Rose and point her toward Templeton.
11:30Wait, wait, was that Frank?
11:31What's happening?
11:32It's just bear stuff.
11:33We could probably use some backup, actually.
11:35Yeah, aren't Victoria and Patel there?
11:37Imogen Poots, I forgot to call them.
11:39Don't let Frank murder Templeton.
11:41Okay, goodbye, and I can't...
11:43This is the motherlode, Victoria.
11:4522 pizzas, four dozen wings?
11:47Well on my way to covering that first tuition payment.
11:49You better hope that Emily doesn't find out about this.
11:51No, please.
11:51She's in the weeds with this merger.
11:53You might even be able to get out early for your big date.
11:55We don't date.
11:55That's gross.
11:56We just have sex and abandoned malls.
11:59Track eight, please respond.
12:01Guys, this bear situation is about to go from local human interest to national crisis,
12:05and Frank and Templeton are just on TV having a pee-pee contest.
12:08That's just my call, you freak.
12:09Why am I waving to the camera?
12:10We can be there in 75 to 90 minutes.
12:13Oh, okay, that's so fun.
12:14Or you could be there in 10 minutes, because I can see your location.
12:17On our way.
12:18Yep.
12:18The trap boys won't like this.
12:20Bro, trap, cray-cray, be there soon.
12:22No cap.
12:23Send.
12:23I don't know who I am anymore.
12:28Ugh, media wants me to do an interview.
12:30Time to put on the cape and play superhero.
12:32Ah, pump the brakes, cupcake.
12:34Lead officer handles public relations.
12:37Makeover montage me.
12:38Honey, we're going to run into palate issues if you dip into my bag.
12:41Come on.
12:42Pick it up.
12:44And that is how you trick a vain jackass like Templeton.
12:47Grab my harness, the one that makes my butt look good.
12:48Okay, so no matter what happens today, we're just going to teach you.
12:51I heard you're looking for a soundbite.
12:53Ask away.
12:53Nothing is off limits.
12:55Except no, no mom.
12:57No mom questions.
13:01We didn't ask for a soundbite.
13:03Oh, my God.
13:04The guy with the killer butt is going in the mine.
13:07Deceiving a senior officer is a fireable offense, Shaw.
13:10I can't hear you over my thrilling heroic.
13:12Lookers are growing concerned by the amount of time the bear cub has been stuck in the shaft.
13:28Oh, hey, kiddo.
13:30Adorable.
13:31Hard to believe in about eight months you'll be big enough to kill us all.
13:35Don't drop him, Frank.
13:36First of all, I'm fine.
13:38And I got the bear.
13:39You lose.
13:40Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
13:42Oh, I should have gone down because he's struggling.
13:45Are those my pizzas?
13:45You know, I forget.
13:47I tend to get fuzzy spells ever since the emu incident.
13:50You're messing with my star rating.
13:51Woman, the pledges are going to crucify me.
13:53All right, kiddo.
13:54Let's get you back to your incredibly terrifying mother.
13:56Fred, hoist me up with the cutest thing you've ever seen.
14:10Mama bear is waking up.
14:11Frank, hand me the cup.
14:12Come on.
14:13Oh, and let you win?
14:14In front of Tracy Palladino and the nation?
14:16Forever changing the power dynamic at the precinct?
14:18I'd rather die and bring this bear with me.
14:20Watch your words, partner.
14:21Tracy's got a boom mic.
14:22Hey, guys.
14:23So these very unhinged women are half a glass of Chardonnay from diving headfirst into the mine shaft themselves.
14:27We've got to go.
14:28That's right.
14:28Give me a bottle of whiskey and a hack so I'm going to cut my foot off.
14:30Come on.
14:37It's been over 20 minutes since we last heard Diego's Christ for help.
14:43And wait.
14:44Something's happening?
14:51We did it.
14:52We did it.
14:53Officer Templeton Dodge.
14:55You holding that bear aloft is an image forever burned in our memory.
15:00It's actually senior lead officer.
15:02Just a day's work, right?
15:04Got to thank my team.
15:05I'd like to give a shout out to particularly one cadet.
15:07Frank, never miss a meal.
15:09Shaw.
15:09There he is.
15:10Son of a bitch.
15:12My dad watches Palladino.
15:14Everybody watches Palladino.
15:16Templeton, you've unlocked a new level of hatred I didn't know existed.
15:20Oh, there's a lot more where that came from, Mr. Pringles.
15:23Frank, thank you for putting your feelings about Templeton aside for the day.
15:27I didn't.
15:27Still, you worked well together.
15:28We didn't.
15:29Well, regardless, I'm feeling optimistic.
15:31You shouldn't.
15:31Okay.
15:33It's happening.
15:35What?
15:36I'm sorry, we wouldn't let Rosemary know.
15:38Okay.
15:40What?
15:41The school offers language courses I've never even heard of.
15:43Tagalog.
15:44Isn't that a cookie?
15:45This is why I don't want kids.
15:46Well, you're going to have them.
15:48And a husband, and a life full of regrets, and missed fun.
15:51In fact, I think I should start right now.
15:54Hi, Parker.
15:54Your sound's great.
15:55See you tonight.
15:56No cap.
15:57You can't take stuff I did on a co-worker's phone.
15:59Get him victorious.
16:00Perverse.
16:01Oh, come on.
16:01You really like the guy.
16:02I'm doing you a favor.
16:03Oh, my God.
16:04Oh, my God.
16:05He had it.
16:06He had it.
16:06I hate you.
16:07Parker loves you.
16:08And you're probably going to lock Parker.
16:10This is the beginning of the end.
16:12Welcome to hell, sister.
16:13Yep.
16:16Hi, Thomas.
16:18Emily, let's just jump right in.
16:20With the merger, there are a lot of eyes on you.
16:23That's why I'm going to need your laser focus on this.
16:26I'm very much hoping that I chose the right person for the job.
16:29Oh, you definitely did.
16:31I mean, leadership is so important to me.
16:34There are a lot of people who wanted your title, especially Officer Dudge.
16:41Templeton?
16:42He expressed a myriad of antiquated claims.
16:45Too young.
16:46Too rattle-brained.
16:48Too female.
16:49But I have complete faith in your professionalism.
16:53So what is it you wanted to discuss with me today?
16:56Well, um...
17:01Hey, how'd it go?
17:06He said no?
17:08Not exactly.
17:09I didn't ask.
17:12Oh.
17:12Um, why not?
17:14I'm really sorry.
17:17I'm just under a lot of scrutiny right now.
17:18And I feel like I was dropping the ball a lot today because I was distracted.
17:23Yeah, okay.
17:24So I thought maybe that we could just put things on hold for a couple months.
17:28Just until I get the merger figured out.
17:30Oh.
17:32Um, yeah.
17:34Yeah.
17:36It's the last thing I want to do.
17:37I just, I don't really know what else to do.
17:39Yeah, I don't really know what else to do either, so...
17:42I feel like I'm ruining everything right now.
17:45Oh.
17:45No, you're not ruining stuff.
17:46It's, it's cool.
17:48We've waited this long.
17:49Yeah, it's like two months, so it's not a big deal.
17:51Well, um, I am really sorry.
17:54Yeah, me too.
17:56I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow.
17:58Okay.
17:59Okay, yeah.
18:00I'll see you tomorrow.
18:01See ya.
18:12Bye.
18:13Bye.
18:14Bye.
18:15Bye.
18:16Bye.
18:17Bye.
18:18Bye.
18:18Bye.
18:19Bye.
18:20Bye.
18:20Bye.
18:21Bye.
18:22Bye.
18:22Bye.
18:23Bye.
18:24Bye.
18:25Bye.
18:26Bye.
18:27Bye.
18:28Bye.
18:29Bye.
18:30Bye.
18:31Bye.
18:32Bye.
18:33Bye.
18:34Bye.
18:35Bye.
18:36Bye.
18:37Bye.
18:38Bye.
18:39Bye.
18:40Bye.
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