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00:00You made love. It was to a ghost.
00:02I said it may have been a ghost.
00:03She was very squishy and vanished into thin air.
00:06You think ghosts are squishy?
00:07Oh, we tease you, but you are funny.
00:10I'm gonna grab a couple more warm ones.
00:13Hey, Ty. Oh, wow.
00:15Do you always wear sandals on your boat?
00:17What? No, I'm just grabbing some beers and forgot to take them off.
00:20I'm not a monster.
00:23I cannot believe what I've just heard.
00:26About the sandals. I know.
00:27Way more boat etiquette than you'd think.
00:29And people are weirdly serious about it, too.
00:32No! You said I'm not a monster.
00:35Oh, well, that's just an expression.
00:37Few things upset me, son,
00:39but talking about monsters like they're a bad thing
00:41or like they have anything to do with shoes.
00:44I don't think monsters are bad.
00:45I seem to remember that you try to ban monsters.
00:49Ban monsters? Me?
00:50I know what happened. You're misremembering.
00:52You know you have an unreliable memory from all the drinking.
00:55I do?
00:56Yes, you yourself have told me that a million times.
00:58You probably don't remember that either.
01:00I don't remember.
01:01There you go.
01:02And that's why, ironically, you've gotten it backwards.
01:04I love and respect monsters so much
01:06that when I was king,
01:07I was planning an enormous monster week.
01:09You were?
01:10Talked about it constantly.
01:12My God, I've judged you wrong.
01:14Well, what's stopping us from finishing what you started?
01:17You hear that, world?
01:18We're having a monster week.
01:20Are three monsters invited, too?
01:22You bet they are.
01:23Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:27Maybe we should get out of here.
01:29No, I want to see if it happens again.
01:32Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:33Monster week.
01:35No, yeah.
01:36No, yeah.
01:37No, yeah.
01:38No, yeah.
01:39No.
01:40Monster Week, is that what it sounds like?
02:04Yes, a week-long celebration of monsters
02:06where everyone will have a blast
02:08and never again use the word monster
02:10to mean anything even remotely negative
02:12or having to do with shoes for whatever reason.
02:14Not quite clear on that, but I do now know it's important.
02:17And this is a plan you're okay with and not terrified by.
02:21Packing our streets with literal monsters.
02:24It was his idea, planning it for years, in fact.
02:27Now, what fun things did you have in mind?
02:30Rules? Not because it's monsters, because it's a week.
02:34There's always rules during weeks.
02:35You're throwing a Monster Week?
02:37Man, I wish I was able to help out.
02:38Bloodmouth's taking me to some hot springs.
02:41To turn her into soup and eat her.
02:44I'm just kidding.
02:45Although I'm sure you'd be delicious, babe.
02:47Aw, thank you, babe.
02:49We're cannibals.
02:50Yes.
02:50Now, the hot springs are just a nice place
02:52to go with someone you love
02:54and have sex with her for a long time.
02:56Probably several extended sessions.
02:58Ready, babe?
02:59You bet, babe.
02:59Don't worry.
03:01Once the monsters arrive,
03:03you'll be having too much fun to be sad.
03:05She picked that gorgeous cannibal over you
03:08for sex in a location
03:09that you can easily picture in your mind.
03:12We're gonna have the best Monster Week ever.
03:15You know Monster Week is a bad idea, right?
03:18It's a terrible idea.
03:19We can't have a bunch of monsters
03:21descending upon our city,
03:22which is why we're going to have to fake it.
03:24Hippo, can you make Monster costumes
03:26so realistic they'll fall down?
03:27If he's as drunk as I'm sure he'll be,
03:29I'm insulted by the question.
03:31Let me guess.
03:32You want me to clear out?
03:34Gods make monsters uneasy.
03:36Yes, I'll stay away.
03:37Because you asked so nicely and I love you.
03:39Not because I have any respect
03:41for the principles being applied.
03:42Goes quite without saying.
03:43While I've got you in such an obliging mood,
03:46might you also keep Hermes away?
03:48Hermes specifically?
03:49My frenemy whose eyeball I gouged out.
03:51Who cages monsters
03:52and forces them to fight to the death?
03:54Yes.
03:55You know what?
03:55He'll be in Hades
03:56doing that pathetic side gig
03:58of his bringing in dead souls or whatever.
04:01I'll go and distract him with something.
04:02Keep him occupied.
04:04Darling, you really are the best in the world.
04:07Yes, well, I'd be the first to admit that.
04:10Underworld, exit!
04:13Monster Week is off to a great start.
04:15I see no problems with it at all.
04:18Would you agree, Dad?
04:19I'm seeing some monsters
04:20I've never seen before.
04:22I'm going to have to get to know them.
04:23Personally.
04:24Bodily.
04:25Oh, you should absolutely.
04:26But first, why not get much drunker?
04:28To the point where everything is blurry.
04:29Perhaps wiped out altogether.
04:31How does that sound?
04:32All monsters drink for free during Monster Week.
04:34Because nobody's sober during Monster Week.
04:37All weeks have rules
04:38and Monster Week's rules say drink up.
04:41Can't argue with any of that.
04:42Roar!
04:44Roar indeed.
04:45Son, you've really outdone yourself.
04:47And knowing you would,
04:49I've invited that investigative reporter you like.
04:52Tina!
04:53So, tell me.
04:55How did the guy who banned monsters
04:56end up throwing a Monster Week?
04:58I can answer this one.
04:59It would seem that you and I
05:00both have the same alcohol-induced false memory.
05:04Interesting.
05:04I smell a flimsy, false memory cover-up
05:07just waiting to be blown wide open.
05:10Only story bigger than that would be...
05:12If these weren't real monsters?
05:15What would that even mean?
05:17People in monster costumes or something?
05:19What a ridiculous, funny thing you're saying.
05:21I mean, it's amusing.
05:21I'll tell you what I've noticed already.
05:23None of these monsters are destroying anything.
05:25The night is young.
05:26I haven't gotten scratched once.
05:28Chivalry is not dead.
05:29The fire-breathing orcs haven't breathed any fire.
05:32New diet.
05:32And everyone is just walking around saying roar?
05:35Monsters do say roar.
05:37They don't just say roar.
05:38Plus, you're acting weird.
05:40But that's hardly a story.
05:42Yes, very well observed.
05:44I'll be right back.
05:45Guys, we have a problem.
05:53Tina's here.
05:54Oh, that is a problem.
05:56You two have a crazy history of romantic near-misses.
05:59That's not the kind of Tina problem I'm dealing with for once.
06:02In addition to being beautiful and fascinating,
06:04she unfortunately happens to be a very good reporter.
06:06What's Dad gonna think when she breaks the vase
06:08that there's no real monsters at Monster Week?
06:10She'll never find out.
06:11My costumes are incredible.
06:13I should be the head.
06:15Why should you be the head
06:16when you have such incredible bot energy?
06:19So, what did you have in mind?
06:21We might need some actual monsters here.
06:24If we could get just one, a harmless one.
06:27We got that last surviving tickle troll.
06:29Are you serious?
06:30That's perfect.
06:31Wait, tickle trolls are real?
06:33We are if you believe in us.
06:35Of course tickle trolls aren't real.
06:37Oh, phew.
06:38That's what I thought.
06:38Oh, come on.
06:40Come on, let's think.
06:41Do we know any relatively gentle dotar monsters
06:44who exist?
06:45Mmm, Gargi the giant who can't feel pain
06:47gave me that special Gargi whistle you blow
06:50if you want to summon Gargi.
06:51Perfect, yes, summon Gargi.
06:53He's very gentle when he isn't swinging that enormous club.
06:56Ah, still might not be enough.
06:58Maybe he knows some other gentle monsters
07:00or not even necessarily gentle,
07:01just willing to be gentle
07:02or just less monstrous as a favor to a friend.
07:05You could try to get some real monsters
07:08so Dad won't find out there's fake monsters
07:10at the monster party you threw
07:11to prove you're not as scared of monsters,
07:13which you are.
07:15Or you could come clean with Dad
07:16and be done with it,
07:17which, forgetting any other considerations
07:19like wrong or right or blah, blah, blah,
07:22it actually just seems a lot simpler.
07:24Just get the damn whistle.
07:25Hey, Tina, where'd my dad go?
07:33He said there was a sphinx he wanted to destroy,
07:36but the way he said it clearly implied
07:37he intended to mate with it.
07:39I would really like to interview some of these monsters
07:41and dig into why they decided to show up
07:43to a monster week hosted by a monster hater,
07:45but they all seem to be running away from me.
07:48That's curious, isn't it?
07:49Ab-ab-ab-ab-ab-ab-
07:50alleged monster hater.
07:51Nothing has been proven.
07:52And it's not curious, no.
07:54Monsters are notoriously shy,
07:56except for Gargi,
07:57the friendly giant who doesn't feel pain.
08:00Get over here.
08:01A reporter wants to talk to you.
08:02Now, this is a real monster.
08:04Tell me more about your use of the word real.
08:07I just meant a real one.
08:08You know, he's the real deal.
08:10Anyway, it's Gargi.
08:11He's a star.
08:12Everyone loves Gargi.
08:13Big fan favorite.
08:15Like I said, he doesn't feel pain.
08:17Go ahead, stab him.
08:18Stomp on his foot.
08:19You're gonna love him.
08:19You know what?
08:20Maybe you could find something sharp to poke him with.
08:22Something good.
08:23Give it some thought.
08:23Okay.
08:25Gargi, spill.
08:26Where can I find some monsters real quick?
08:28Monsters who are willing to be cool, preferably.
08:30Seem to, Gargi.
08:31Lots of monsters here.
08:33Gargi's friends at Monster Bar say,
08:35no monsters welcome in Krapopolis.
08:37But Gargi remember Krapopolis.
08:39Maybe Gargi is big, softy Gargi.
08:42Softest Gargi around.
08:43Or maybe it's just impossible for Gargi to resist Gargi Whistle.
08:46But Gargi think...
08:47Gargi, Gargi, Gargi.
08:48Monster Bar.
08:49Where's that exactly?
08:51Wow, spooky.
08:54Here you go, Care Bear.
08:56Delivering another dead one for you to process.
08:58Don't call Caron Care Bear.
09:00Only I call him that.
09:01And are you sure this guy's really dead?
09:02This again?
09:03Because look, I got a lot of live ones sneaking in and a lot of dead ones sneaking out.
09:07And you think that's my fault?
09:09You're the delivery guy.
09:10I'm just saying, do you double check the doors on your way out?
09:13See if they close all the way.
09:14I'm sure it would be too much to ask that you give the handle a little jiggle to make
09:17sure it's locked.
09:18Oh, I can go faster than the eye can see.
09:19I can jiggle a handle multiple times, going back and forth, checking to see if it's locked,
09:22and then checking again, because was it really locked?
09:25Not that I would do that.
09:27So you didn't jiggle the handle?
09:30Hello, boys.
09:31Long time no see.
09:33Oh, what is she doing here?
09:35What are you up to?
09:36Is it antics?
09:36Don't look at me.
09:37I have nothing to do with her antics.
09:39Well, you'll soon want to do something with my antics.
09:44I brought something very special.
09:48It's a pineapple.
09:49I figure we can section it and eat it together.
09:52That should take a long time.
09:53Probably a week, right?
09:55While your pineapple does look fascinating, we are in the middle of something here.
09:58No, I think we're done.
09:59He keeps blaming me for people coming in and out illegally.
10:02Because he's careless.
10:04Ugh, I'm so bored with this conversation.
10:05Anything fun going on in Krapopolis?
10:07I feel like it's gotten a little better over the last year or so.
10:10No, it's got worse.
10:11In fact, Krapopolis is cancelled.
10:14But look what else I brought.
10:18Aww.
10:20Aww, look at you.
10:24This must be the place.
10:31Oh, boy, these don't look gentle.
10:34I think you're special, I'm bumser.
10:35No, no, no, no, no, you got this.
10:39You're half monster, you can do this.
10:41Be strong.
10:41No, stop it.
10:48Roar!
10:50Was that supposed to be a roar?
10:51I'm sorry, my pronunciation is...
10:53Anyway, I'm here to ask you to please come to Monster Week in Krapopolis, preferably in
10:59a spirit of non-destructive camaraderie.
11:01Krapopolis.
11:02Seriously?
11:02That's rich.
11:04You banned us.
11:05Yeah, we know who you are.
11:07Okay, yes, I may have at one point banned monsters.
11:11But if you know who I am, you must know I'm half-monster.
11:14Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
11:17Is that offensive?
11:18I didn't, I, I actually, I'm here for my father, who's a fool monster.
11:22Oh, let's try your own father.
11:24He's king now, if that makes any difference.
11:26I'll believe that when I see it.
11:28All we know is you want to corral us all into one place.
11:31What's that gonna be for, you think?
11:33Some hero's feet.
11:35You don't know, there are no heroes at Monster Week.
11:38Oh, yeah?
11:39And, uh, why should we believe you?
11:42Why should you believe me?
11:44It's all been lied from the start.
11:46And all because I hurt my dad's feelings.
11:49And I couldn't handle it.
11:50I didn't even know it was possible, but it is, and I did it because I am a scared of monsters.
11:56And that means I'm a scared of myself.
11:59So please, come to Kropopolis as our honored guests.
12:02Exactly the way you are.
12:04There's free beer.
12:06Why the hell didn't you lead with that?
12:09Yeah!
12:10Yeah!
12:11Yeah!
12:12Yeah!
12:13Yeah!
12:14Yeah!
12:15Yeah!
12:16Yeah!
12:17Yeah!
12:18Yeah!
12:19Yeah!
12:20That's salt.
12:21Yeah!
12:22I don't know if Dad's getting sober or smarter,
12:25but he is definitely gonna find out.
12:27Yeah!
12:28And Tina's gonna lose interest in Gargi pretty soon.
12:30Everyone does.
12:31His only thing is not feeling pain.
12:32I-I mean, get a hobby!
12:34Where the hell is Ty with those real monsters?
12:36We need a huge distraction.
12:38Something that will change the subject for everyone.
12:41You know what would really get this party going?
12:43Typhon!
12:44God of all monsters.
12:45God of all monsters.
12:46Don't discredit him.
12:47He's the monster of all monsters.
12:49Doesn't he destroy cities?
12:51With fun.
12:52And devastating unprecedented weather events.
12:56But it's the fun that really stands out.
12:58That's it!
12:59Typhon!
13:00What are we gonna do?
13:01Just be like, hey Typhon, wanna come destroy our cities so Dad won't think Ty's a monster
13:05hater?
13:06Why not just get Zeus to come and kill us all?
13:08No!
13:09We faked Typhon!
13:10Why'd you put your hand to your head like that?
13:13I don't know.
13:14Who's got a tummy?
13:15Who's got a cutesy woopsie tummy little tum tum?
13:17Woo!
13:18I'm gonna rearrange the spices in my bitch sister's kitchen.
13:22That!
13:23That right there.
13:24See?
13:25She's getting out.
13:26And how does she know how to get out?
13:27Did she see you come in?
13:28Dead getting out isn't even in my purview.
13:30Is it?
13:31You flopsy wopsy little color bug.
13:33I should go.
13:34I'm tired of getting blamed for Hades' problems.
13:37Even if it's hard to tear myself away from this sweet little pea.
13:42Wait!
13:43Why don't we train the puppy to guard the river?
13:46That might take some time.
13:47Why would we do that?
13:48And why do you say take some time like it's a selling point?
13:51Oh, selling point, schmelingsploint.
13:54Mm-hmm.
13:55Well, I don't see this little guy stopping anyone who really wants to escape.
14:00Good point.
14:01We're going to have to workshop a lot of ideas to get it right.
14:03Gotta start somewhere.
14:05I don't think that's a guard dog.
14:08Let's test it.
14:09I've been working on my mortal voice.
14:11I am a normal living human man who wishes to see his dead mother for some reason.
14:15Try to stop me, doggy.
14:16Come on, chase me.
14:17I'm getting away.
14:18Yeah, that dog won't hunt.
14:20Damn it, I thought I'd nailed it.
14:22Looks like we've got our work cut out for us.
14:24Call your wives.
14:25It's gonna be a long one.
14:27Okay, big isn't enough.
14:32We've got to go scarier.
14:34And I have an idea.
14:35I have an idea.
14:36You're really excited about having an idea.
14:38Seriously?
14:39A two-headed dog scares you?
14:41I'm not finished yet.
14:42Whoa.
14:43You know, after the second head got that response, I really wouldn't have gone for a third.
14:47But you took the risk of embarrassment and it was worth it.
14:50Look at this scary sweetie pie.
14:52Wait, now I have an idea.
14:53It might be a little cliched, but what about snakes?
14:57Oh, snakes from the head.
14:58Oh, or snakes for tails.
15:00Or snakes coming out of its back.
15:04Oh, that's awesome.
15:05I think I'm gonna name him Chompy or Cerberus.
15:08You know what?
15:09Okay, his official name can be Cerberus, but his unofficial name will be Chompy.
15:12Done.
15:13Hey, Deliria.
15:14Remember when you came up with the idea of making male mortals go bald?
15:16This is almost as fun as that was.
15:18It was just my idea for them to go bald, but it was your idea for it to happen in different
15:23ways so some of those guys don't even realize it's happening for years.
15:29See?
15:30It's fun.
15:31We're having fun.
15:32Sustainable fun.
15:33Let's try...
15:34Sharper teeth.
15:35He's perfect.
15:36Walk away.
15:37No, no, no.
15:38We're just getting started.
15:39What about nails?
15:40Great.
15:41Don't overdo it though.
15:42Let me cook.
15:43How about weirder eyes?
15:45Killer instincts.
15:46Dramatic past.
15:47You're upsetting him, Deliria.
15:49No, he's having fun right along with us.
15:54Chompy!
15:55And you overdid it.
15:56Great.
15:57Hermes, where do you think he went?
15:58Well, this monster we've whipped up has three very sensitive noses.
16:01I'd say he's gonna go to the worst smelling place he can find.
16:04Oh no.
16:05Crapopolis.
16:06Ty, look at you, surrounded by glorious beasts.
16:10Sorry I'm late.
16:11I thought the parade stopped at the monster bar.
16:13You went to the monster bar?
16:15You deserve a drink.
16:17Oh, and don't look now, but there's a Gorgon in the house.
16:22Drink up, you misunderstood bastards.
16:24Join the party.
16:25Yeah!
16:26Yeah!
16:27Whoa!
16:28Monsters!
16:29Tina, how's it going?
16:30Learn anything newsworthy?
16:32I didn't expect to spend my monster week this way, but Gargi has a really tragic backstory.
16:36Have you really been talking to Gargi this whole time?
16:38Gargi didn't know how much he had to say.
16:40Gargi tapped into things he never knew he could talk about.
16:44It's not the story I was looking for, but it'll work.
16:46My readers do love a sob fest.
16:50Is that who I think it is?
16:51Did you get Typhon?
16:52You crazy boy.
16:54Wait, did you really get Typhon?
16:57I guess?
17:01Oh yes, here we go.
17:03Forget Gargi.
17:04This is a story.
17:06For the first time, Gargi feel pain.
17:09Monsters!
17:14Hey, about a stoop?
17:15Oh, thank God.
17:16It's just you guys.
17:17Really good job with the weather.
17:18I thought it was actually Typhon.
17:20Well, you're not dealing with an amateur here.
17:22I like to...
17:23Wait, you thought what was Typhon?
17:25I haven't started the machine.
17:29Typhon!
17:34It's me, I made it.
17:35Let's get this party started.
17:39I'm gonna get killed by Typhon.
17:41How cool is that?
17:44Adult children, get under my wings.
17:48Dad!
17:50I couldn't ask for a better way to die.
17:53Thank you, son.
17:54You're not gonna die, Dad.
17:55None of us are.
17:56I'm responsible for this.
17:57I'll be the one to fix it.
18:00What the hell is he doing?
18:01Is he gonna talk to Typhon?
18:03You don't even look at him!
18:04Just to hurt your eyes!
18:06But when I kill him, die happy!
18:07Typhon!
18:08Who approaches?
18:11I'm Tyrannus.
18:12And it is great to see you.
18:14You're...
18:15You're not scared of me?
18:17No.
18:18I'm terrified.
18:19But that's my problem.
18:20What kind of a host would I be if I didn't thank you for coming to my Monster Week?
18:24You mean it?
18:25I wasn't sure I was welcome.
18:27I'm not usually welcome places.
18:29Since, you know, I...
18:30I usually destroy them.
18:31Are you kidding?
18:32I mean, yes.
18:33I had heard that.
18:34But the monster are all monsters.
18:36I don't just welcome you to Monster Week.
18:38I thank you for coming.
18:39Would you want to have a beer with me?
18:41You know, monster to monster.
18:43I'd love that.
18:48Oh.
18:49Great.
18:50That's my boy.
18:55So, you tried to fake Monster Week.
18:57But why?
18:58The thing is, I did ban monsters when I was king.
19:01You weren't misremembering.
19:02I should have just been honest with you.
19:03If only somebody had told you to come clean.
19:06Well, that would have saved him a lot of trouble.
19:08But then again, if he had come clean, I wouldn't have had the best Monster Week ever.
19:13You mean you're not mad?
19:14I've got to tell you, I really did learn that my perception of monsters was all wrong.
19:18Or largely wrong.
19:19Somewhat.
19:20In at least certain circumstances.
19:21What's the number one rule of Monster Week?
19:23That everyone is forgiven during Monster Week?
19:26No.
19:27It's no lessons during Monster Week.
19:29And to be honest, I did know Scott and Colax were in that Sphinx costume.
19:33I've only pretended to make love to them.
19:35Wait.
19:36Which part of it was fake?
19:37It was all real to me.
19:43Hey, Tina.
19:44So, how much of the real story did you get?
19:46If there's anything I didn't get, I don't even need it.
19:49I got plenty.
19:51Great.
19:52Promise me I'll never lose you as a source.
19:53These weeks always deliver.
19:55Although, I don't know why you call them weeks.
19:56I can't remember any of them being longer than a day.
19:58Well, no one can really say how long a week is.
20:01Can't they?
20:02Oh, my God.
20:06Chompy!
20:07Ooh.
20:08Who have we got here?
20:09Schlub, I'm sorry.
20:11I tried to keep away as long as possible.
20:13Not a problem in the slightest, darling.
20:16I haven't seen a monster this good since you made our children.
20:21Good boy, Chompy.
20:23Ah!
20:26Look, babe.
20:27I'm telling you, I've boiled humans before.
20:30This water isn't hot enough to boil you.
20:32It's gonna feel great.
20:33It's not about that.
20:35I told you I'm cutting back on human, but all you packed were finger sticks and fried toes.
20:40I thought you'd like the sauce.
20:42You invited me here and brought nothing I can eat.
20:45That is so typical of you.
20:47I told you I'm on an all-flesh diet.
20:51I'm sorry I forgot about you.
20:53It won't happen again.
20:54Can we please just get in the water?
20:56Fine.
20:57You go first.
20:58Happily.
20:59This is gonna feel great.
21:02Oh, it's so hot.
21:04I'm so scared to get in because it's so hot.
21:10Oh, it's too hot.
21:11It's too hot.
21:12I was wrong.
21:13I'm turning it into soup.
21:14Oh my God, blood mouth.
21:15Sarah, promise.
21:17Promise you'll eat me.
21:20Seriously, what did I just say about cutting back on human?
21:25Did you get any of that?
21:29Bento.
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