Amandaland - Season 1 Episode 00- Christmas Special
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#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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00:00because the only things that hang on christmas day are mistletoe holly
00:03and then somehow there's tinsel yes hi there's still no sign of our cab and i really need to
00:09get to my aunt's for lunch yes georgia you're tipping the pavlova huh the pavlova you need
00:15to keep it upright or the compote will breach the meringue why did you make this well aunt joan has
00:20got this hilarious photo of me with the pavlova when i was about manis's age and i thought it'd
00:25be super cute to recreate it with you two we'll have the perfect family christmas at art jones
00:31she has the biggest tree yes what no no you no you can't cancel it's christmas day
00:41where else am i going to get a cab on christmas day
00:46merry christmas neighbor cute pjs
00:55okay what's the address oh if you just put in siren sester siren sester amandie
01:04there's practically whales you said a quick lift you said you had no plans today no i said i planned
01:09on doing nothing different things led with his mom i was going to crack open the baileys order a curry
01:15and watch me some die hard oh mal how depressing at least you have company now i don't want company
01:20oh can we just do a small detour you having a good creme bar felicity not really i was supposed
01:30to be in south africa but amanda guilt tripped me into visiting my sister what's wrong with your
01:35sister she's a nightmare it's just all laughter and games and then just bloody cheese boards
01:43she's completely over the top she asks us every year mommy and we never go it's getting rude and
01:49i would love the kiddos to have a traditional cotswoldian noel and well they're still enchanted
01:54by the magic of christmas but does she have a ps5 no she doesn't have a ps5 my less i don't even
02:00think she has the internet oh no way right sam i should take it a little christmas present for her
02:08and amanda it's a disaster i've been at the airport now for about 14 hours and they finally
02:15just cancelled our flight to dublin oh and what a shame well look thanks for keeping me posted chris
02:22and the kids want to head to cork i was supposed to join yesterday but because of the storm i'm
02:26completely stranded and everybody who i know and love is hundreds of miles away chris darius
02:32pat roisin yes pat and her husband pat their kids young pat and patricia yes and edgar and barry
02:40and pat yeah uh you know he throws on our way actually no no no no no no oh my god i miss you all so much
03:02we're here christmas has officially started it's off your bones now please eat your heart out
03:10downtown abbey well hardly it's only 11 acres and a ha-ha why is that funny no a ha-ha it's like a
03:17giant ditch you should know what a har is you're a gardener oh yeah i've seen loads of ha-ha's in ha-ha's
03:23oh look she's put the reindeer out for the kids oh mommy do you remember when bumble the shetland
03:31tried to mount one god that was funny this is why i don't go to therapy some memories are best repressed
03:39guys guys guys right immediately that just gave us that if you learn nothing from adolescence and
03:59and this is my christmas happy place so please don't be a debbie downer okay everyone here we
04:05go ding dong merrily oh hi oh i'm so sorry i'm so sorry about oh my gosh you've caught me mid giblets
04:15oh goodness no dr coach oh i'm so sorry to spring this on you it's been a bit of a disaster is it cool
04:21if my mum friend anne joins us so yes oh and of course you look like you need a stiff drink thank
04:28you but um but no if if i can't be with my family then what's the point oh dear girl come in come in
04:33come in a divorce no storm geraldine storm jerry christmas oh for me wow no no no no no i don't
04:45believe it i know i won't touch you no don't don't touch them we'll hang in a moment yes come in
04:50yes don't touch don't touch it yes they're gorgeous all right thank you this is the last of the bags
04:56great thanks so much john you didn't tell me you're bringing a lover oh no my neighbor no he just drove
05:01out here oh it's all right wink wink he's more the merrier no no no he's fine he's he has plans
05:06it's okay have you got plans yeah i was just gonna use your loo if i may before i nip off i've got a
05:10date with john mclean no fantastic you're a homosexual it's a die-hard reference i was
05:16gonna watch it with a curry oh god how costly you will stay for a pre-prandial come on what's
05:22pre-prandial it's a posh word for a drink yeah yeah okay can you put chris back on yeah so i have an
05:31alert set up on my phone for when the the flights reopen and if you could just have everyone there
05:36checking the internet where should i put my coat back then oh keep it on this house is bloody
05:41freezing isn't it magical that's giving hardcore narnia vibes right i mean wow that's what i call a tree
05:53is it plastic oh my god she's still got that daddy bought that in the 70s probably the newest thing in
06:04this place how odd i distinctly remember the scent of pine needles no this house smells the way it's
06:10always smelled damp dogs desperation now i've been absolutely dying for you to arrive i've got everything
06:21here you've got some olives over there there's this trout pate we've got mini quiches prawn volvoz and
06:28these really fun things from marx and spencers mini burgers you've seen these oh oh oh no no no no
06:36i'll have to clean that one up won't we johnny where should i put the pavlova is that granny gush's
06:44recipe yes it is minus the powdered egg i thought it might be fun to recreate that famous pudding photo
06:51from that amazing christmas yes yeah i've got it in the oven let me look for the oven everybody dig in
06:59flick deviled egg have a deviled egg flick deviled egg egg egg flick deviled egg fine
07:06i'll have a deviled egg now i think it's under here somewhere now where's that famous photo
07:18now look at that look at that it is look at gang gang what a horsey is that you mom yeah that was
07:26me pre-blossom just on the cusp of discovering clearacillin wonder bras look my goodness look at
07:31that i'm wearing the same jumper oh no stop that's perfect i thought it'd be really fun to restage
07:38the photo with manis and george so the hemsworth brothers did one sitting on their mom's lap and it
07:43pretty much broke the internet i remember the hemsworth brothers hmm hemsworth brothers yes you
07:49you stepped out with one they had the tractor dealership in amply st peter that was the hemswood
07:54brothers brothers hemswood yeah i slept with all three of them oh well done you and the father mommy
08:01oh and charlie good now drinky poos oh damn what's that oh i didn't know what's in those ones oh is
08:09that you flick no one must see those yep yep yep yep yep what the
08:25this house is literally freezing
08:29my family be back from mass about now do you think jesus will punish me for missing his birthday
08:34you know what you need a slow gin very good for melancholia the night my father died i drank
08:40two bottles was right as rain in the morning i suppose i could have a small glass just to
08:45steady the nerves because um i don't think i've ever done a christmas well my family none of that
08:51now come on get that down your gullet yes got a kick to it that's the 1978 vintage the year you
09:00were born oh actually now what do the children want what can we get for them uh do you have any
09:05prime no no no no don't don't worry he'll have a coca-cola i've got a cola i've got a can of
09:10cola here there we go lovely lovely oh come on oh i think that's seen better days ludo can have that
09:21ludo ludo ludo look look what's here look what's here jane oh your christmas present yes it's just
09:30oh that's marvellous i don't believe it that's tremendous
09:34look at that wow oh my goodness no joan it's the bath the but the joan
09:45and i've swallowed it there i'll have a bath later darling i have a bath later didn't i just gift you
09:50that yes i loved it so much that i went out and bought exactly the same one for aunt jane
10:00i need ice in my whiskey you'll find plenty in the toilet well now will you come in here and sit
10:04down please oh thank you um i was actually gonna hit the road oh no no we're not having you spending
10:09a day alone you and ann are our christmas guests of honor so sit i've got a goose to go and get out
10:15of the oven i've never been anyone's christmas guest of honor before this is the same one
10:22this is to amanda look that's this i don't have exactly the same one for joan but they have to
10:26this given me i don't know probably still in there i don't know oh lovely come on oh uh those are the
10:32photos gangan doesn't want anyone seeing come on boys
10:42no tell them yes it's a larger box but it's actually the same value gift because i'm going
10:46to buy money spent um not by value okay no devices please to go okay
10:55oh well don't sit there sorry because of the photos we need to match the old pavlova pig so
10:59yeah mommy needs to sit there jones here mommy you're here no i need a clear line to an exit
11:04well okay well yeah well we can all move around for pudding
11:12wait it's true jones stop stop stop can you get back in and come back out i want to film it
11:16for the memories just tuck in tuck in tuck in just me a second yes it's gonna be so good
11:20and could you just lean out because the tear stains i just miss my family you know ann
11:24yes goosey goosey and uh oh look at that dig in we've got a side of beef york shows a ham and
11:34some little piggies and blankets mom just eat it it's christmas hmm what i'm vegan
11:42oh it's fine i'll just eat the veg not just eat the veg not on my watch you won't i said well i'll
11:49i'll wrestle up a uh a souffle oh joan do you see what i mean it's just too much she's just trying
11:58to make us all happy mommy and uh did you did you notice the stuffed stoat in the hallway no no oh let
12:07me show you quickly i'm not that into stones yes but um honestly i think you'll find this one very
12:13interesting yeah i don't know who told you that i was into stoats but actually this one is is quite
12:22unusual okay listen forget the stuff i just saw some pictures of felicity i was supposed to see and
12:27now i can't unsee what i saw god they weren't nudies were they no they're not nudies is anyone wearing a
12:33nazi uniform no there's no not just just look oh blimey o'reilly is that is that felicity and
12:43sir mcjacker yes it looks like they're on holiday together jesus he was such a ride back then yeah
12:48it looks like it was riding felicity oh m g is is she pregnant yes and look she's holding her stomach
12:57and summer of 77. joan just said that amanda was born in 78. you don't think sir mick jagger is
13:08no no no don't be ridiculous i've seen enough episodes of alie mcbill to know this is all
13:13purely circumstantial evidence just because it goes clip-clap doesn't mean it's a zebra guys come on
13:20we're back to eat here we go joke why didn't santa pay for his sleigh why didn't santa have to pay
13:39for a sleigh because it was on the house oh that's so bad it's actually quite good i know another
13:47joke how do you titillate an ocelot i've no idea joan how do you titillate an ocelot you oscillate
13:52its tits a lot not like she bloody wrote it come on flick your turn oh here we go
14:01oh mommy mommy put the hat on you'll need it for the pavlova photo no i don't do paper hats
14:07flick do the joke where's the joke i don't do jokes come on mommy it's christmas come on flick flick
14:12flick flick flick flick
14:14do the joke do the joke do the joke
14:18come on what is the coldest country in the world i don't know what is the coldest country in the world
14:28it's russia oh i think you're reading the trivia there felicity
14:40where are you going mommy we haven't done the photo i'm going to watch the king's speech
14:44oh is it that time oh i love the king's speech brilliant everyone fill a glass let's go and
14:50sit we could do the pavlova we're after flick flick
15:02i have to say this is the most delicious cav i've ever drank darling it's not garbage
15:32champagne real champagne yes from france yes i've never had french champagne from france
15:40stop fussing i can't see the tone
15:45i think john is lovely classic stockholm syndrome are you a big fan of the royal family felicity oh i've
15:52met a few of them miller's a laugh i've probably met a few members of the rock royal family in your time
15:58well i once lived next door but one to christoburg oh right pavlova time oh finally get the camera
16:06i don't want pavlova mommy you can't always get what you want
16:12um actually i can't think of food for a bit amanda i overdid it on the parsnips you don't have to eat
16:17it it's just a photo oh i know we'll have a parlor game while we all digest who'd like a round of are you
16:23there moriarty i don't know what that is well what about um how are he do you know the minister's
16:29cat do you know that no no no pass the slipper no fan the candle you must know hot cockles hot
16:35cockles what else have we got elephants for god's sake why don't we just play hide and seek
16:39oh that's a terrific idea so much fun well done that girl i'll count 50 off you go and then after
16:48this we'll do the public right i'll start now come on one two i've started two i've started three
16:56anything to get away from her better hurry five six seven eight there
17:05nice i know chris but i don't know what you expect me to do about it i can't make a put on a
17:12shoe i'm 300 miles away look i really have to go
17:19bloody hell other people's christmases are mental when are we gonna tell her what absolutely never
17:27it's not our family secret so we're gonna forget we ever saw those photos but we did see those photos
17:32mal and i really think amanda deserves to know what do i deserve to know what the hell are you
17:38hiding yeah we're playing hide and seek what do i deserve to know ask mal oh thanks anne will
17:45someone tell me what's going on just show her the photos
17:47are these pictures of my mum on holiday what's the big deal look who she's with
18:02is that mick jagger me you minx sitting on mick's lap i sat on prince harry's lap when i was in mahiki
18:09once did i get a mention in the book oh my god she's pregnant that's hardly a secret keep looking
18:20she's smoking no no no no look at the date on the back of the folder okay look who's holding the bump
18:27no no no way no way is my father
18:46is that an airy cupboard okay
18:57oh god it's a snifter
19:08ah
19:19mal look
19:21it's so weird isn't it when you look at us together mal look mal look
19:27Mal.
19:28Can you open that door, please?
19:29I need to make it.
19:30This is insane.
19:32I mean, it's a shock, but it's also not a shock, you know,
19:35because it explains a lot.
19:37I mean, I wonder if the man I thought was my father
19:39ever knew the truth.
19:42Poor Daddy.
19:44Well, this must be why my parents divorced.
19:47Baby Joan told them that must be why we never see Joan.
19:52That sounds about right.
19:53Can you just put my sleeve, please,
19:56so I can't get some layers off.
19:59Shh, shh, shh, shh, come in.
20:05Where are you?
20:08Oh, it's locked.
20:10Can't get under there.
20:20Hoist by your own petard there, Anne,
20:22I think.
20:23Oh, my goodness.
20:24My system's not used to champagne.
20:26No.
20:27Come on, mortified.
20:32I've got a present now.
20:34Yeah.
20:35Another little slifter.
20:43Oh, gotcha.
20:45Oh, please don't tell, Mom.
20:46I won't if you won't.
20:49Shh.
20:52Oh, I'm just dead.
20:55I'm on my way.
20:59Oh, I fainted.
21:01I fainted.
21:02Oh, ding dong.
21:03Christmas comes once a year.
21:05Do you know, I knew you two were loved.
21:07We not.
21:08He just drove us here.
21:09I thought they had to take some clothes off.
21:13Cat's out the bag, Joanie.
21:15I've seen the photos.
21:16Oh.
21:17Yeah.
21:19Spill the tea.
21:21Right.
21:21Well, I suppose it's only a matter of time,
21:23but listen,
21:23you're going to have to speak to your mother about those.
21:26Who is she?
21:27I'm buggered if I know,
21:28because I've searched the whole house.
21:30Oh, darling,
21:30you stay with your paramount.
21:31Have you finished?
21:32Finished.
21:32Stop, Joanie.
21:33Can I have some water, please?
21:38Mommy!
21:42Right, okay, let's split up.
21:44I'll take the lawn.
21:45Joanie, you do the meadow.
21:47The meadow.
21:47And, um,
21:48and you and the kids check the drive.
21:50Okay.
21:53Felicity!
21:54Would you look at this, huh?
21:59Felicity!
22:00Christmas night.
22:02I'd still be doing the washing up at home
22:03if I was there right now.
22:05Yeah.
22:05Not standing here.
22:08Looking at the stars.
22:11Sorry, hang on.
22:11Sorry.
22:12Oh, God.
22:14Oh, Grace.
22:16What?
22:17There's a flight out of Heathrow tonight.
22:19That's good news, isn't it?
22:21Yeah.
22:22Great air, great.
22:24Yes.
22:25Um,
22:26all I have to do now is just, um,
22:29click this link to confirm.
22:32Oh, no, would you look at that?
22:34My phone's off to running out of battery.
22:35Oh, no, what a shame.
22:38Um,
22:39just guess it wasn't meant to be, huh?
22:41What a bummer.
22:44Just got to end up
22:45staying here.
22:47Yeah.
22:48Hey, do you know what?
22:49I'm going to go for a walk.
22:52Yeah.
22:53Felicity!
22:56Yeah, this is just,
22:57it's better than cavern.
22:59Felicity!
23:01According to Wikipedia,
23:02I have eight brothers and sisters.
23:06Jay Jagger came in once
23:08when I was at Quo Vadis.
23:10I wonder, did she know?
23:13Felicity!
23:15It's mad.
23:16I think I could be spending next Christmas
23:18with them in Turks and Caicos.
23:19Whoa, Amanda!
23:22Ow!
23:23I just fell in the ha-ha.
23:26You all right?
23:27Yes, I am all right, Mal.
23:30Why are you laughing?
23:31You fell in the ha-ha!
23:33Who falls in a ha-ha?
23:35Stop it!
23:35It's not funny!
23:36You fell in a ha-ha.
23:38Come on.
23:39Get up.
23:41Amanda!
23:42I'm so sorry.
23:43Oh, thank God!
23:44Oh, you know what?
23:45Thank you so much for today.
23:48Really.
23:49It beats lying on a couch
23:51with a curry and horse today.
23:58Is that Jane's store?
24:00Mummy?
24:02Mummy!
24:04Felicity!
24:06I didn't know.
24:09What?
24:09Ludo, wait!
24:10Wait!
24:12Ludo!
24:12Huh?
24:15Oh!
24:17What'd you say?
24:22Aha!
24:27Aha!
24:28Very away in a manger.
24:29Ah!
24:30I knew it was too good to last.
24:32Well, you're the last one to be found, so...
24:33That makes you the winner!
24:35Yes, bravo, that girl.
24:36I tell you what,
24:37I could do you a big scoop of the Stilton
24:39and I'll crack open a bottle of port.
24:41Stop.
24:41You don't have to have port.
24:42Just stop talking.
24:43Please.
24:44It's too much.
24:45It's Christmas!
24:46It's supposed to be too much!
24:47No, you're too much.
24:48All this is wild aviva and endless glee and everything.
24:51It's just...
24:51It's just...
24:52Just stop!
24:53Please!
24:56Okay.
25:00Stop.
25:01Come on.
25:01Please don't cry.
25:08I'm not crying.
25:09Come on, Joanie.
25:11This is what happens when you stop.
25:13The old black dog creeps in and...
25:16Oh, come on.
25:16Put yourself together.
25:17Put yourself together, Joan.
25:18Why are you being like this?
25:21Because of you, Flick.
25:23What nonsense.
25:23Do you remember what they used to call us on that ghastly own debutante circuit?
25:29Mm-hmm.
25:30Great hair and the spare.
25:34Mm-hmm.
25:34Actually, that's all the good.
25:35Yeah, it's all about the beautiful Felicity Wyndham.
25:38And I was just the podgy little sister.
25:41So I decided to be the life and soul of the party.
25:45Hostess with the mostess.
25:46The last one standing at the barn dance.
25:50And I can tell you something.
25:51After 60 bloody years, it's exhausting.
25:57Why didn't you ever see anything before?
25:59Oh.
26:01Well, it took Amanda to twist your arm to get you down here.
26:03Mummy!
26:04Oh, it's her.
26:05Oh, yeah.
26:06Yes, we're here!
26:07We're here!
26:08Hello.
26:12There she is.
26:14You know, I've spent the whole day trying to recreate the perfect family Christmas.
26:20But it turns out my whole life has been a lie.
26:24For God's sake, Amanda, stop being so melodramatic.
26:27Look, let's go inside and do your moment with the pavlovas.
26:30Yes!
26:30No, Mummy.
26:32I know your secret.
26:34And I know Joan knows.
26:35And that's why you didn't want to come here.
26:36Because you were worried she'd spill the beans.
26:40What is she talking about?
26:46Mummy.
26:47I've seen the photos.
26:50I have in my hand the proof.
26:52I'm Sir Mick Jagger's love child.
27:03What?
27:04Give those to me.
27:05Give those to me.
27:10That's not Mick Jagger.
27:12Oh, that's our cousin Rosamund.
27:14Oh, God.
27:15I mean, she was rather Jagger-esque, don't you think?
27:17Look, with the slim hips and everything.
27:18Oh, my God.
27:19Did you get her round robin this year?
27:20No, I didn't.
27:20They had to put down Pinky.
27:22Oh, no.
27:22Okay, so if Mick Jagger isn't holding your pregnant belly, then what is the big deal?
27:26Why didn't you want anyone to see them?
27:29Look, the thing is, I wasn't pregnant in this photograph.
27:31I was fat.
27:34What?
27:35It was the 70s.
27:36I'd just discovered Black Forest Gatto.
27:40And that's our big family secret, that you were once fat for a summer?
27:45Yes.
27:47Though your father rather liked it.
27:49And you were conceived on that holiday.
27:52Oh, God.
27:56I just sent George May Jagger a DM.
27:58Can we, uh, be a prison?
28:06What was she thinking?
28:08Oh, sorry, Joanie.
28:09No, it's all right.
28:10It's all right, honestly.
28:13Merry Christmas.
28:15If it's any consolation, I always felt that Ma and Pa loved you more than they loved me.
28:20Oh, huh.
28:22I'd have swapped that any day for a go on a Hemsworth, brother.
28:25Ooh.
28:28Is that singing?
28:31Yes, it's Anne.
28:41She's falling in the ha-ha.
28:43She'll be fine.
28:45Come on.
28:47And then John McClane ties this hosepipe around his waist because he thinks the guy in the helicopter is going to shoot him.
28:54So he's got no way out.
28:55So he ties himself in nice and tight.
28:57This is topless.
28:57No, no, no.
28:59But by this point, it's down to his vest.
29:01How is this a Christmas film?
29:04What?
29:05You all right?
29:05Of course, it's a Christmas film.
29:06Yeah.
29:09I'm sorry, Mick Jagger wasn't your father.
29:11I just thought that I was special.
29:18You are special.
29:26Of what it's worth.
29:26I'm sorry you didn't get to sleep with a rolling stone.
29:28Well, I did sleep with Mick once or twice back in the day, but not in a way that you would get pregnant.
29:34Right, everyone, we're going to do Amanda's photo.
29:37Oh, Mummy.
29:38What?
29:38Really?
29:39Shall I get the pavlova?
29:40Really?
29:41I mean, I could take the photo.
29:42No, guys, you're all in it.
29:44Come on.
29:45Everyone ready?
29:46Yeah.
29:47Yeah.
29:47I'll just do the timer.
29:48Hang on.
29:49Oh, no, no.
29:50Quickly, quickly.
29:51Hang on.
29:52Hang on.
29:52Okay, everyone.
29:53Quick, quick, quick.
29:53Come on, everybody.
29:54Are we ready?
29:55Say cheese.
29:57Cheese.
29:57Cheese.
30:00Oh.
30:01Ah.
30:01I think there's a girl that likes a pudding.
30:03I think there's a girl that likes a pudding.
30:29I think there's a girl that likes a pudding.
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