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FunTranscript
00:00Let's go!
00:30I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:33I never think you're gonna get out soon
00:40Good job!
00:41Give you a hand
00:43A golden star
00:45You think you're clever
00:47Good luck
00:49She took a break
00:51Made a mistake
00:53When she met driver
00:55Get us forever
00:59Get us forever
01:01Get us forever
01:05You think I'm pretty
01:09You think I'm pretty
01:11Who make you wanna fucking
01:13Close it off, want to back it on the ice for faster and faster
01:15I'll do the money
01:17I'm having a lot of games
01:18I'm having a lot of games
01:19I'm having a lot of games
01:21I hope we're gonna get out soon
01:23I will look
01:25Gonna get out soon
01:27Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon
01:29Gonna get out soon
01:31I really hope you're gonna get out soon
01:35I know you're up at night
01:39Hunched over your phone like
01:41A tree
01:43A tree
01:45A darkly hill
01:47It's crooked from the wind that bites
01:49You say
01:51You're lost to seek
01:53All the power and the light
01:55You're washed up irrelevant
01:59I'm standing in my light
02:01I'm standing in my light
02:03I'm standing in my light
02:07I'm standing in my light
02:09I'm standing-
02:13Pfff
02:14You think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty cool
02:20You say you're scary at all
02:22Most people do
02:24This is the real world, honey
02:26In spite of everything, I guess there's just no hidden door
02:31Nice drive, knock it out the way
02:35Good job, just take a fucking hit
02:38I said I'll see you, you wanna be a
02:41You wanna be a, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
02:46Nice drive, knock it out the way
02:49You're in our way, get lost forever
02:53Hey, if Rosano fucks you tonight, I'm gonna fucking back
03:08I think you mean fucks with, buddy
03:11I fucking mean what I mean
03:12You're burning a fake Rosanoff outside right now
03:15The fuck does that mean?
03:16They do it to you all the time in Boston, you wanna see it?
03:18No, thanks
03:19Honestly, guys, it doesn't help me focus
03:21Yeah, Mitty, they'll be weird somewhere else
03:24Not even that
03:25Whatever you need, Captain
03:27Hey, Hollander
03:29Can you talk to NBC and some radio outlets in the next time?
03:31Yeah
03:31Oh, Mr. Hollander
03:36What does Montreal have to do to win tonight?
03:39Well, hockey is a complicated, nuanced game
03:42But it would be helpful if we scored more fucking goals than the other team
03:45And how about that other team?
03:48Elia Rosanoff has been on a tear lately
03:50He had a hat-trick last week
03:51And he's almost caught up to you in the scoring race
03:53Wanna know what he had to say about that this morning?
03:55No, I'll listen if he actually catches up to me
03:57Thanks, guys
03:57Mm-hmm
04:27Thank you
05:14Wow, this Montreal girl works you out, brother.
05:34Shut your idiot face, Marley.
05:36You're straight up blushing, Ross.
05:38Well, no.
05:39Never in life have I blushed.
05:40Russians do not do this.
05:44You will murder me.
05:58Maybe.
06:00Get in.
06:00Why the fuck did you think it was okay to sex me before the game?
06:08What the fuck?
06:09You were hard, weren't you?
06:11For how long?
06:11The whole game.
06:13You're such a fucking ass.
06:15You missed me, didn't you?
06:17I fucking didn't.
06:19And I still beat your ass.
06:20Barely.
06:21Great.
06:27Wow, nice place.
06:29Thanks.
06:31I bought it a couple years ago, but then this year I bought another one.
06:36Right next door.
06:38I eventually might turn it into one place, but for now I'm renting the next door one out.
06:42Mr. Businessman.
06:44Shut up.
06:44Mr. Landlord.
06:47You asked.
06:48No, I didn't.
07:02So what do you want me?
07:04In the kitchen, on the floor?
07:07Fuck you.
07:12Did your mom buy all these pillows?
07:14No.
07:15I hired someone.
07:17A designer.
07:19You think there is enough?
07:21Such an asshole.
07:24I think maybe you'll like it.
07:27Smell the cigarettes from here.
07:30I had one.
07:31You shouldn't be smoking.
07:32You shouldn't be talking.
07:38Come here.
07:39No, you come here.
07:40No, you come here.
07:41No, you come here.
07:42No, you come here.
08:12That was so fucking hot.
08:18Worth the weight.
08:34I should go.
08:34No, you come here.
08:36No, you come here.
08:38No, you come here.
08:39No, you come here.
08:40No, you come here.
08:42So, uh, obviously we won't see each other during the Olympics, right?
08:46Oh, right.
08:46Your family must be happy there in Russia.
08:50Yes.
08:51Oh, you come here.
08:52Mm-hmm.
08:53Yes.
08:55My parents are pretty psyched for me.
08:57They're pissed they can't come, but my mom is starting to wake up before I am to watch
09:00you every game.
09:01i bet your parents will be there right my father yes maybe my brother but who knows
09:10cool anyways i'm psyched i've dreamed about it my whole life
09:16dreaming of what bronze medal you fucking wish dude
09:20hey uh remember when i made you come hands free
09:27go fuck yourself for us now such a good drink your cab is definitely here
09:34bye
09:45welcome back to man in the crease your all-star hockey podcast
09:57for the first period we're four days into this year's winter games and there's already a contender
10:01for top story here in sochi russians what an embarrassing and promising year for the
10:07russian men's hockey team a hard pill to swallow on all mice and especially for the young phenom
10:13ilia rosanoff chosen as his country's captain
10:16i'm all in there what's up motherfuckers
10:18i'm all in there what's up motherfuckers
10:23i'm all in there what's up motherfuckers
10:28i'm all in there what's up motherfuckers
10:31i'm all in there what's up motherfuckers
10:35holy fuck can you believe russia be nice swanny
10:48nice they fucking lost lafia did you see that game yeah it was a straight up shit show
10:52a debacle hey what did ross say about it
10:55uh i don't know nothing to me that's for sure
10:58i think he knows canada has this in the bag
11:00uh-uh so you say this year baby we're fucking coming for you
11:03okay trust me you look great in silver vanni don't even stress
11:05oh good one
11:06does your room have that smell yes yes it does
11:12is it black mold because that's what jj thinks it is
11:16yeah he's probably right good news is we're not gonna be here long
11:19all right so tonight we can do the men's short form figure skating here
11:21my buddy joe is in that program we train together
11:23would you guys uh be cool to do that i'd love to show up for him
11:27hell yeah man show up for any dude who's that brave
11:29what do you mean
11:31well i'm assuming your buddy might be gay
11:35i mean it's fucking brave for a dude to show up to a place like this and be like
11:40hey here's me russia is not safe for folks like that
11:44fucking balls of steel man
11:57man your buddy fucking killed it
12:19yeah he did
12:20i'm just gonna find the bathroom
12:24hey
12:43not here
12:49no i'm not
12:51i saw you up here i wanted to see how you're doing
12:54fine
12:55go sit down
12:57we
13:00we are not anything
13:02go away all the time
13:04are you okay
13:12please go
13:14you didn't answer my text
13:16no i did not answer your boring text
13:20now you go
13:21what
13:23fuck
13:25i
13:38don't
13:39i
13:40don't
13:41i
13:42do
13:42i
13:43i
13:43we
13:45we
13:45we
13:46we
13:47we
13:48we
13:48we
13:49we
13:50we
13:51we
13:52After yesterday, you won't win...
13:58Latvia.
13:59Latvia.
14:01And he's still playing.
14:03How did you do that?
14:05Is it not sad to you?
14:06Not sad to you.
14:07Well, not so.
14:08They don't teach you discipline in this American League.
14:11It's not a game, it's a game.
14:13It's a real shame.
14:15It's not to justify the hopes you showed in childhood.
14:19Now I'm playing better than when I was.
14:22Our team was damaged.
14:24The team was playing.
14:25Playing?
14:26What is this American absurd?
14:28What is it playing?
14:30You, captain, you're playing playing.
14:33You always find someone who's guilty from childhood.
14:41Who was it to you?
14:45Your mother?
14:46She can't do this.
14:52No, my father.
14:53My mom died.
14:54You remember her.
14:55My mom died.
14:56My mom died.
14:57You remember her?
14:58My mom died.
14:59You remember her?
15:00I was at your age.
15:01Where is your mom?
15:02Where's your mom?
15:03Where is your mom?
15:04Where's your mom?
15:05You in Moscow?
15:06Of course.
15:07Of course.
15:09My mom died.
15:10I'm finalized.
15:11Of course.
15:12Of course.
15:13We have to go.
15:14We need to go to the night of the night,
15:21so I can meet with the minister.
15:26Yes. Are you ready?
15:29Let's go.
15:31Of course, I'm always the same.
15:33I'm always the same.
15:35I'm always the same.
15:36But what do you do with me?
15:38No, he wasn't in shape.
15:40He's always the same.
15:42He's always the same.
15:45He's pretty good.
15:48He's too good for us.
15:50But that's the problem with leadership.
15:53We always have a problem.
15:55Leadership.
15:57You're too much talking.
16:03You're my angel.
16:05You're too often talking about hockey, especially when it comes to hockey.
16:10Only when we're winning, Dad.
16:12I'm going to buy him in a bar, and he needs to be another one.
16:17Look how she's got him for you.
16:20From the same time.
16:23I'm an angel. It would be nice if I remember this.
16:26I want to drink.
16:28I'm going to have something more interesting.
16:35– All right. – All right.
16:52All right, Sasha.
16:59I think you played well.
17:02I was thinking thank you, but I know you didn't watch any²s.
17:05For those who have been a whole life son of a coach for hockey,
17:08you have to avoid this.
17:11I sometimes blame you for me.
17:14When I am sure that I will blame you for me for me.
17:17In any case, it doesn't matter for you.
17:20It doesn't matter. Why did you do that?
17:22My father...
17:23Your father is a fool, who in any case will kill you.
17:26You need to stop worrying about what he thinks.
17:30And I don't care about these crazy games, when you have a real chance to win this year.
17:35Really?
17:36Yes, it's true.
17:37Hunter and Admiral won't go through New Jersey.
17:40But New Jersey won't go through Holland and Montreal.
17:43I think that in this year you will win Montreal.
17:46This year?
17:47Yes, this year.
17:49Because I think he's traumatized.
17:53Where do you know all this?
17:55An extra sense.
17:56I am a bad guy.
17:59You can do anything with the team.
18:01You look like a bad guy.
18:04I am a bad guy.
18:05It's a lot.
18:06And then you can win...
18:08You can win anyone in the West.
18:11Chicago.
18:12Not so much before.
18:14In the final, most of all, it will be San Francisco.
18:17They are good, but too young.
18:20So you won't win a year ago, I was a year ago.
18:26Yes, thank you. I'm going to sleep tomorrow.
18:30You need to look ideal.
18:32You always look ideal.
18:34Yes, but you need to talk about it.
18:38We'll see you later.
18:41See you later.
18:47Well, what?
18:51How are you, Sasha?
18:53Oh, that's cool.
18:57I just love this place.
19:00Clubs with my head.
19:03The girls are just beautiful.
19:07And the boys...
19:10Well, you've seen the French boys.
19:14Right, Elia?
19:16Oh my God...
19:20Oh my God...
19:23I'm nothing.
19:25You're not going to play.
19:28Oh my God...
19:30No lie.
19:32Oh my God...
19:34Don't joke...
19:36You were so happy when you were here.
19:57Are you here? Seriously?
20:00It was the danger that you had earlier, if you remember me, don't change me.
20:10We are children, Sash.
20:14Yes, that's right.
20:21Stop it.
20:23Okay, let's go somewhere.
20:28No.
20:30Okay.
20:38Okay.
20:40I'm glad to see you.
20:43Okay.
20:51I'm glad to see you.
21:00Okay.
21:01Captain's here.
21:02Yeah!
21:03Yeah!
21:04Yeah!
21:05Yeah!
21:06Yeah!
21:07Yeah!
21:08Yeah!
21:09Yeah!
21:10Yeah!
21:11Yeah!
21:12Yeah!
21:13Yeah!
21:14Yeah!
21:15Yeah!
21:16What am I supposed to do in this game?
21:19I don't know. My mom told me to get by.
21:20Oh, my God.
21:22You said you'd have gum, Eddie.
21:24There's ginger ale on the pitch.
21:26Okay, playoffs are over. You cannot keep the beer.
21:27That's not a rule. You just made that up.
21:30Hollander, is that a rule?
21:31Unfortunately, it is.
21:32Fuck you, Hollander. You can barely even grow one.
21:34No, no, fuck you, Swedish in bread.
21:36Fuck you, Eddie.
21:37Just fucking do it, Hayden.
21:39We're live in Boston where the Raiders have a chance
21:41to end it all on home ice.
21:43Turn it up.
21:43It's game six and the cup is somewhere inside as we speak.
21:46You know that Ilya Rozenov wants this bad.
21:49Rozenov and the Raiders have been on fire
21:51since the Olympic break.
21:52A heartbreaking game for the Russians
21:54seems to have only intensified the young Boston captain.
21:57He's on a tear, scoring ten goals
21:59over the past six playoff games.
22:01Okay, listen the fuck up.
22:04Look, I don't give a fuck how many goals I've scored.
22:08I don't give a fuck how I played two fucking nights ago.
22:12I don't need to think about that.
22:13That was yesterday. That was before.
22:15Now, I only need one thing.
22:20I need to win.
22:24Here, at home, tonight.
22:28As much fun as it would have been to go to California
22:30and humiliate them there,
22:32but I want to hear our fans.
22:34I want to hear them scream.
22:36I want to fuck San Francisco.
22:41I know you can do it.
22:43I've seen you fucking do it.
22:44I've seen every one of you do it.
22:47So leave it all the fuck out there tonight.
22:49Because this is our fucking night.
22:56This is our fucking cup.
22:59Fucking fuck San Francisco!
23:01Fucking fuck San Francisco!
23:01I can't believe that asshole's about to win the cup.
23:15Shane hates it the most.
23:17What?
23:18You hate Rosenhoff.
23:19Of course.
23:20But he's very good at hockey.
23:23The best, probably.
23:24Eh, nah.
23:25You're the fucking best, Orlando.
23:27Yeah.
23:28Not that animal shit show cock sucking Russian.
23:30Now that is that.
23:33The Boston Raiders are your MLH champions.
23:37What a comeback story this year for Gilya Rosenhoff.
23:39The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs.
23:43Leading his team in block shots.
23:44He jumps again.
23:46And obviously, it comes all back.
23:50Legend of LeBron!
23:51Well, nice watch.
24:20Can I give this to you for free or what?
24:21Where the fuck were you, Ron?
24:22Five seconds.
24:23Eh, 25 seconds.
24:25Or even doing.
24:27And now, presenting the Lord Tower Award.
24:30I was busy.
24:31With who?
24:32Ilya Rosenhoff and Shane Hall.
24:40But the most important thing...
24:43Is the frames we make along the way.
24:47Hey!
24:48Before we give out next award,
24:49can I get a selfie with you?
24:52What?
24:53Come on.
24:54When will this ever happen again, buddy?
24:56Okay, fine.
24:57But hurry up.
25:04Great.
25:05Give me your number.
25:06I'll text them to you.
25:07No chance.
25:09And the Lord Talon Award for most sportsmanlike player
25:12goes to...
25:33Oh.
25:35Oh.
25:35Oh.
25:35Oh.
25:36Oh.
25:37Oh.
25:37Oh.
25:38Oh.
25:38Oh.
25:39well
25:54what what the fuck do you want rosenoff
25:59you haven't answered a text for me in like six months
26:03you won't even acknowledge i exist unless there's a fucking camera pointed at us and
26:07then it's for some fucking clown show
26:10so yeah what the fuck do you actually want from me
26:15well
26:19i want you to suck my dick oh fuck you you are unbelievable
26:23you suck my dick
26:37maybe yes nicely
26:44yeah please
26:50if you want me to get on my knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck your dick
26:54you will have to ask nicer than that
26:57please get on your knees
27:02on this filthy bathroom floor
27:05and suck my dick
27:08please
27:10no
27:21what
27:25no
27:27we'll go back to our seats
27:30watch the rest of this boring show
27:33and then go to boring party after
27:35and then when i've been waiting all night
27:39you'll come back to my hotel room
27:42and i will maybe
27:44maybe
27:45do more than just suck your dick
27:47when did your english get so good
27:52i uh i read the new yorker now
27:56really
27:57no
27:59the new yorker is boring
28:00your dad loves it
28:04ah
28:06so being boring is
28:08is genetic
28:09genetic
28:11let's make a deal
28:17if you win mvp tonight i will blow you
28:21fuck you
28:22whatever you want
28:23and if you win
28:41good luck
29:09Congratulations.
29:33Now take off your clothes.
29:36You're such an asshole.
29:39You're such an asshole.
30:09You're such an asshole.
30:19What?
30:23It's a lot of windows.
30:25good now get on the bed
30:55this is a good hotel very nice vodka it's hard to find in America okay
31:05touch yourself what show over me I want to watch you what it's my special day
31:12Hollander I want to watch I've never no shit fuck you give me some vodka at least
31:19no no no vodka is for after is your reward
31:49do you want to know how it feels how it feels holding the cup you fucking asshole I can barely
32:19so Russia this year was something else
32:33it's intense there
32:38so are you heading back soon
32:45back to Russia for the summit
32:50oh yes
32:52why
32:59what do you mean why
33:02do you have to
33:05there is no have to it's
33:09it's home
33:10yeah but I don't know is it safe
33:15what do you mean safe
33:18I don't know
33:21do you do you even like it there
33:25what difference does it make
33:32a pretty big one I think
33:35I need to sleep
33:42oh
33:44yeah me too I should
33:47so uh I'm off
33:57goodbye Hollander
34:01what do you mean
34:10I don't know
34:14you
34:14can
34:17tell me
34:18everything
34:18you
34:22you
34:22I don't know.
34:52I don't know.
35:22I don't know.
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