- 23 hours ago
Emmerdale - Season 54 Episode 243 -
Thursday 25th December 2025
Thursday 25th December 2025
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FunTranscript
00:00And
00:02I
00:04I
00:06I
00:12I
00:14I
00:16I
00:18I
00:20I
00:22I
00:24I
00:26Merry Christmas!
00:28Merry Christmas!
00:29Merry Christmas!
00:30Is it though?
00:32Cos I'm out here in the cold running a mulled wine stall that was your idea while you're
00:36in the warm like the ghost of Christmas.
00:38Merry Christmas!
00:39Oh I don't know who he was!
00:40Get your bum out here now!
00:45I don't expect him a shot any time.
00:47It's a public street and it's on Christmas Day.
00:50So that means it's not allowed is it?
00:52Merry blah blah.
00:53Why don't you have some of this muck?
00:55Salesperson of the year.
00:56She is.
00:57Hiya Lord, Merry Christmas.
00:58Merry Christmas.
01:01Looks like we should be singing Feed the World.
01:04We will not be caught with insufficient food, will we?
01:06Look at all those vegetables!
01:08I know!
01:09You're not wearing your present?
01:10Er, er, no I will.
01:12Right, come on.
01:13Let the peeling commence after you, Gavner.
01:18What present has he got that you can't wear out here?
01:20Do we really want to know?
01:22He got me a Cardi.
01:23Right, because you're 74 years of age.
01:26And, er, murder mystery thing.
01:28Where have you got to go for that?
01:29Oh I don't know, some hotel in Weatherfield.
01:32Where?
01:33Oh, God knows.
01:34Weatherfield?
01:35No.
01:36Really.
01:37Merry Christmas!
01:38Too early?
01:39I like that you're so keen.
01:40Mm.
01:41Mm.
01:42Mm.
01:43Mm.
01:44Mm.
01:45Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:46Yeah.
01:47Merry Christmas.
01:48Too early?
01:49I like that you're so keen.
01:52Mm.
01:53Mm.
01:54Merry Christmas.
01:55Mm.
01:56Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:57Yeah.
01:58Merry Christmas.
01:59Mm.
02:00Oh, ho, ho, ho.
02:01We're still on for yours later.
02:02Uh-huh.
02:03Right.
02:04It'll be late afternoon.
02:05Got a few guests in.
02:06Right, see you later.
02:07Yeah.
02:08Hey!
02:09Merry Christmas.
02:10Good to you.
02:11I got a scooter.
02:12Yeah, sir.
02:13Yay!
02:14So that means that no one's safe.
02:15Why don't we go and terrorise the rest of the village?
02:17Come on.
02:18Oh, yeah, go.
02:19Oh, yeah, go.
02:20Eh, question.
02:21How come I didn't get a scooter?
02:22I've spent enough on your My Little Pony, thank you.
02:25Got another one, love?
02:26Yeah, go on.
02:27Not for me.
02:28I've, er, actually got somewhere.
02:29I've got a scooter.
02:30I've got a scooter.
02:31I've got a scooter.
02:32I've got a scooter.
02:33I've got a scooter.
02:34I've got a scooter.
02:35I've got a scooter.
02:36I've got a scooter.
02:37I've got some, er, gonna puff to you.
02:39Where are you going?
02:40Just in.
02:41Robert, where you going?
02:43Merry Christmas!
02:45Merry Christmas!
03:02So, do you like it?
03:03Yeah.
03:04Really?
03:05Of course.
03:06Right, well, why are you just giving one-word answers then?
03:10I love it.
03:11Thanks.
03:12Just then, two.
03:14Flipping hijacking things yesterday.
03:16No, no, I'm not exactly chuffed about it either, but let's not let it ruin our Christmas
03:19as well.
03:25Oh, my God!
03:26Oh, my God!
03:27This is so much better than mine!
03:28I know.
03:29Did you just guess it was going to be a girl?
03:32I bought two lots.
03:33I'm sending the blue ones back.
03:34Yeah, very clever.
03:36Hey!
03:37Happy Christmas!
03:38What he said.
03:39Sorry, got a bit for head.
03:48Celebrating, were you?
03:50Only a bit.
03:51Sure.
03:52How are we?
03:53Disappointed.
03:54It was a bit, you know.
03:55It was massively out of order.
03:56And bonkers.
03:57Last night was supposed to be our wedding night.
03:58Well, you don't need the ring to do the thing.
03:59Seriously.
04:00Sorry.
04:01Tell me, at your grounds.
04:02Whenever we want.
04:03The sooner the better.
04:04I'm getting dressed.
04:05Sherry?
04:06Ah!
04:19Computer!
04:20I'm getting married to me.
04:25Computer stop. Would you like me to play more Christmas music? Definitely not. Now playing
04:35Jingle Bell Rock. Computer stop.
04:39Oh no. Computer stop or I swear. Now playing Walking in the Air.
05:09Oh I like this one. Here's the thing about knocking on a door that you don't seem to understand.
05:16Spare me the sarcasm. Wow. What did you get for Christmas? Big box feisty?
05:21I made a mistake yesterday. When I binned you off.
05:25Making one now if you think that's what happened.
05:28I may have overreacted slightly. Truth is, I need a posh friend in my life. Gives me an air of mystery.
05:37Like people think, oh I wonder what Kim sees in that one. And it's nice. Just being here.
05:44Basking in your magnificence. And it makes me realise how lucky I am. You and I bin mates.
05:51Like when you're having issues with your caviar not being the right temperature.
05:55Or too many bubbles in your champagne. And I think to myself, at least I don't have Kim's troubles.
06:02So, I'm willing to accept your apology and give you another chance.
06:09You'd better pour yourself a drink then.
06:12What kind of host are you?
06:14How are you? Good, thanks.
06:34How are you?
06:36Good, thanks.
06:41How are you, really?
06:44Not great.
06:45Come here.
06:57I'm only here cos Johnny pestered.
07:00Noted.
07:02Where's the rest of you boys?
07:04Well, Noah's out working.
07:06For triple time and get this.
07:08Ryan's gone for a turkey curry
07:10with someone called Stab Wound
07:12who we met gaming.
07:13So he's definitely getting murdered.
07:15Go on, drink.
07:17Yeah, I'll just have one.
07:19Oh, knock yourself out, Vanessa.
07:21Slow down, Moses.
07:23And put your helmet on.
07:25He should be wearing a helmet.
07:27You're a helmet. Get a drink and just shut up.
07:32Wow!
07:34Oh, sorry? Is there a speed limit?
07:38No, there isn't. You crack on.
07:42How are you cracking on with your issue?
07:46Well, it's only an issue if someone makes it an issue.
07:50It's hardly the subject for Christmas Day, is it?
07:52Oh, I don't know.
07:54A pregnant woman and the father not being who everyone thinks it is.
07:57Oh, cute.
07:58Merry Christmas!
08:00Merry Christmas!
08:01Merry Christmas!
08:02Cheers, aren't you?
08:04I didn't know you were coming for dinner.
08:05Oh, no, we're not.
08:06Oh, Johnny and Moses just said you are.
08:08He's well excited. We don't mind, do we?
08:10No, we don't mind.
08:12Brilliant idea.
08:13Hey! Merry Christmas!
08:18Where's Eve?
08:19Upstairs with Harry.
08:20Doing what?
08:21I don't know, do I?
08:22Oh, you've got to own it. It's wonderful.
08:24Yeah, you'll fit right in it, WI.
08:26Right, come on, Cardi B. Get some of these pigs.
08:28How many are we feeding?
08:30Has Robert come round to yours?
08:39No.
08:40Why? Did he say he was gonna?
08:41Well, he's just got off and now he's not answering his phone.
08:43What, at all?
08:44What do you mean, at all?
08:45He's not gonna answer it a little bit, is he?
08:46Don't get crappy.
08:47Well, I'm worried, Vic.
08:48So where is he now, then?
08:49I don't know.
09:00Come on, Summer.
09:31Right, let's see who runs, ready?
09:47Oh, I won!
09:49Oh, sorry Liam.
09:50Right, come on here.
09:51Let's go sit down.
09:54Wow, that Christmas lunch with Bernice really got to you, didn't it?
09:56Not the great famine of 2018, not at all.
10:01I wouldn't worry about Robert, love.
10:03Well, you would if you knew that Kev's back firing guns.
10:06What?
10:08What is back?
10:10Someone took a shot at us yesterday.
10:12Where was this?
10:13At Butler's.
10:14The police reckon it was just poachers and they were stray shots.
10:18Yeah, well, they're probably right.
10:20Yeah, until we got back and there was an envelope with Kev's wedding ring and a bullet in it.
10:25Oh, my goodness.
10:27Do you reckon we should go and look for him?
10:28I was just going to suggest it, actually.
10:30No, hang on, hang on.
10:31Where are you even going to look?
10:32I don't know.
10:32We can't just sit here.
10:34Maybe you should call the police.
10:35And say what?
10:36That my fully grown adult boyfriend's been missing for a couple of hours.
10:38Well, I think I'd also suggest the shooting, the bullet in the ring.
10:43No Charles?
10:45He came earlier.
10:46Thought I'd give him space to be with Ethan by himself.
10:51Never gets any easier, does it?
10:53Tell me about it.
10:55Like, Christmas isn't difficult enough.
10:58I've got three brothers here as well as my dad.
11:00You must miss them very much.
11:02It's been so long.
11:06Sometimes it feels like they were never here at all.
11:09But you must feel like Ethan's barely been gone.
11:15There are still days Charles and I still call his name.
11:19Give him my best.
11:20What are you doing here?
11:30I'm looking to buy a new carpet.
11:36So as I can sweep everything that's happened recently under it.
11:41Looks like you've already started that.
11:46Congratulations, by the way, on your engagement.
11:50Thanks.
12:04I miss him.
12:06Yeah, same.
12:09I miss you.
12:12And you.
12:14Me?
12:16Ooh.
12:17That's all right.
12:18It's Christmas.
12:19And?
12:20What happens at Christmas?
12:22Well, what usually happens is families fall out.
12:26But we've already done that.
12:28So is anyone open to moving on to the next phase?
12:33What's that?
12:34We stand around awkwardly.
12:36Not so much.
12:38And then, at some point, preferably very soon,
12:42your bags appear in the hallway at home.
12:44And it's kind of accepted that you've moved back in.
12:50That might work.
12:53Let the awkward standing commence.
12:55Oh, yes.
12:56Oh, yes.
12:58Let's get some rosy.
13:00Oops.
13:03Hey!
13:04I told you to wait for your dad.
13:06You OK?
13:07Yeah.
13:08Have you been to Nate's grave?
13:12Yeah.
13:13I have, mate.
13:14Come here.
13:15Right, come on.
13:16Let's get this show on the road, then.
13:18You know, we've still got time for our knees, that.
13:20I've got my feet up.
13:21Old.
13:22Yeah, so old.
13:23Can't even make it to the food.
13:26Come on.
13:27Has this not opened all the presents?
13:29Er, no, not yet.
13:30No, not yet.
13:31Oh-ho-ho.
13:34Come on.
13:35Come on, Nadia.
13:36Oh, what have you got?
13:41What have you got?
13:42Brilliant.
13:44Now, pass this to you, brother.
13:53What have you got?
13:56Right.
13:58Hello!
13:59Come on.
14:00Hey!
14:01How are we all?
14:02Hi.
14:03How's me big man?
14:04Merry Christmas.
14:05Merry Christmas.
14:06Aw.
14:07Hello, Cain.
14:11Because it's, er, a spanner.
14:13Yeah.
14:14I get it.
14:15Merry Christmas.
14:16Yeah, Merry Christmas.
14:17Aw.
14:18Did you get anything nice?
14:19Well done.
14:20Need to get back, too.
14:23And?
14:25How are you, mister?
14:26Yeah.
14:27Yeah.
14:28It's just another day with our hands, isn't it?
14:31Not really.
14:32No.
14:33No, not really.
14:34No, come here.
14:37Anyway, what do you think she would want me to do, eh, your mum, if she was here?
14:41Have a good time.
14:43That's what we're going to do, then.
14:44Have a good time!
14:45Have a good time!
14:46Nailed it!
14:47Right, erm, do we get our own drinks or do you like to control it?
14:51Control, Gary!
14:53Right, come on in.
14:55Brought you some company.
14:56Yeah.
14:57Thanks.
14:59A lot.
15:01I really appreciate this.
15:03I don't relish the prospect of being in that house all day.
15:07Oh, happy birthday.
15:09Hope they're not imposing too much.
15:11How much is too much?
15:12Well, we're enjoying being here just as much as you are having us.
15:16Kim, sit down, get comfy.
15:18And you guys.
15:20Get on the, er, set E.
15:21Thanks, Sam and Lydia and Belle.
15:23And Belle.
15:24Yeah, no worries.
15:25Has Billy got the kids?
15:26Yeah.
15:27Feel like we should have some kind of plaque.
15:30Kim Tate sat here.
15:31Well, I've got a box of them.
15:33I'll bring you one.
15:34Really?
15:35No, Sam.
15:36Oh.
15:37Right.
15:38Jokes.
15:39Erm, drinks.
15:41Well, Merry Christmas, everyone.
15:43Merry Christmas.
15:44Feels like I should let you drink from the welly, but it's only really for people joining family.
15:49Well, disappointed as I am not to be drinking moonshine from weather-resistant footwear, I'll try not to let it ruin my festive mood.
15:58Will this do?
15:59Oh.
16:01My absolute favourite.
16:09Merry Christmas.
16:10Bye-bye.
16:11Bye-bye.
16:12Bye-bye.
16:13Bye-bye.
16:14Greetings.
16:15Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:16Merry Christmas and all that.
16:17Where's your dad and the kids?
16:18Well, he fell asleep, so they're drawing on his face.
16:21Nobody ever wants to finish deviling him.
16:23Yeah, Dottie's gone round to film it for YouTube.
16:25I thought I heard an entrance.
16:27Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:28Yes.
16:29This do you?
16:30Erm, have you two met properly?
16:31Well, he's been at the cafe about half a million times.
16:33No, formally I meant.
16:35Like in Westminster Abbey or summer?
16:38Well, I've heard a lot about you.
16:40Oh, really?
16:41No, but, er, you make a good coffee.
16:46Not been bigging me up, then?
16:47I'll let your majestic presence speak for it, sir.
16:50Oh.
16:51In a decade's time, this is what you'll have to deal with from her.
16:55I'll settle for that.
16:57Hey!
16:58Excuse me.
16:59Wow!
17:00You've finished already.
17:01I was assuming drinking quickly was some sort of rule.
17:02Yeah, but we haven't had a toast yet.
17:03Well, you're going to have to do it without me,
17:04because we are going for a walk with Vinny.
17:06Is this pre-planned, or is it an escape?
17:07Pre-planned.
17:08Promise.
17:09But, er, I might see you later.
17:10It's all right.
17:11Sorry.
17:12Right, then.
17:13What, er...
17:14What, er...
17:15What, er...
17:16What, er...
17:17Is it an escape?
17:18Pre-planned.
17:19Promise.
17:20But, er, I might see you later.
17:21It's all right.
17:22Sorry.
17:23Right, then.
17:24What, er, what we're drinking to?
17:28Business as usual.
17:29Business as usual.
17:30Er...
17:31Can I just check?
17:32Are you two under the impression that I'm giving you your jobs back?
17:37Because I want to make it very clear...
17:39...that I am.
17:41Oh, you beggar.
17:42Yadda's going, then.
17:44Hey, Sam.
17:47Hm?
17:48What?
17:50No.
17:51What?
17:52What?
17:53Sure.
17:54Won't what?
17:55Drink from the welly.
17:57Drink from the welly.
17:58Drink from the welly.
17:59Drink from the welly.
18:01This is getting weird.
18:02Drink from the welly.
18:03I'm untrustable.
18:04Drink from the welly.
18:05Drink from the welly.
18:06Drink from the welly.
18:07Drink from the welly.
18:08Drink from the welly.
18:09Drink from the welly.
18:10Drink from the welly.
18:11Drink from the welly.
18:12Drink from the welly.
18:13No!
18:14No, no, no, no.
18:15No, no, no.
18:16Oh!
18:17Hey!
18:19Still don't mean you're a dingle, Will.
18:21Oh, imagine my devastation.
18:23Not that this isn't the pinnacle of my drinking experiences,
18:27but would anyone care for some red wine from my salon?
18:30I thought you just kept corpses in that.
18:32Yes, that sounds really good. Let's go.
18:34OK, I'll come with you.
18:35Can I choose some or not?
18:36Well, we'd be foolish to disregard your impeccable taste.
18:40Is that a yes or a no?
18:41Come on, Sam.
18:44It's all right.
18:45Nothing with dust on.
18:48I was banging on at you a bit earlier, weren't I?
18:53Well, we all need banging on at from time to time.
18:57But time to time, not all the time.
19:00Noted.
19:02You know, you're lucky.
19:05I know.
19:06And Sam is extremely lucky.
19:09I don't know about that.
19:10Yes, you do.
19:12He looks after me.
19:13Well, I'm glad to hear it.
19:17Would you mind if I looked after you two?
19:20What do you mean?
19:22Oh, like, say...
19:25You still inheriting Home Farm?
19:27Have you forgotten how to count?
19:36I tried to prepare for everything beyond the extent of preparation.
19:40Do you know who's in that?
19:41Nelson Mandela.
19:42Taylor Swift.
19:43Right, come on, let's go look for him.
19:45Chas, can you watch Harry?
19:46No need.
19:47But he's about to turn six, not six.
19:48Finally!
19:49You knew I was nipping out.
19:52And where have you been getting your phone fixed?
19:54I've been calling you.
19:55What, because I've been gone a couple of hours?
19:57It's been longer than that.
19:58Well, it must have been on silent.
20:00Sorry.
20:01We thought, you know...
20:03Kev had got you.
20:04Told us about it yesterday.
20:05What?
20:06No, no.
20:06Don't worry about that.
20:08I'm done with that madman interfering with our lives.
20:10Hello, hello!
20:11Hey!
20:12Greetings.
20:13Oh, hiya.
20:14Merry Christmas.
20:15I thought you were off seeing Steph.
20:16Nana's tomorrow.
20:17Are we all right?
20:18Yes, don't worry.
20:19The Taylor Swift Appreciation Society has got it all covered.
20:22She caught you in that sparkly dress again.
20:24You wish.
20:24Oh, you come bearing gifts.
20:26How come you're suddenly not worried anymore?
20:30Cos what's the point?
20:32It's Christmas.
20:33Relax.
20:48So, Eric, this thing with you and Kerry, was it a slow burn or...?
21:17Kerry and I have been extremely fond of each other for a very long time.
21:24And the fondness has blossomed into a deep and mutual love.
21:32Do they?
21:37I'm supposed to catch it.
21:38Oh.
21:39Right.
21:43Now what?
21:44Get it.
21:45Oh.
21:47Put it on your heart.
21:49Hey!
21:50Sweet, sweet.
21:51Woo!
21:53Nice fit, mate.
21:54A counterfeit.
21:56Thanks for these.
21:57They're great.
21:58You're welcome, babe.
21:59So, are you like our granddad?
22:02Now you two are married.
22:04Oh.
22:05Is that okay?
22:07Doesn't make a difference.
22:08Oh.
22:09Banger.
22:10Oh, there she goes.
22:11Yes, Kane.
22:12No, Kane.
22:13Hey, where are you going?
22:14Quiet Christmas, you said.
22:15Right, come on, you, let's go.
22:16Bring that with you.
22:17Okay, see you later.
22:18Take care.
22:19Bye.
22:20Bye.
22:21Bye.
22:22Bye.
22:23Bye.
22:24Bye.
22:25Bye.
22:26Bye.
22:27Oh, one of them stoops to visit downstairs.
22:28Are the other two joining us any time soon?
22:29I mean, do they know it's Christmas time?
22:30At all?
22:31Well, the presents were a bit of a clue.
22:32But, yeah.
22:33I've got a little something for you.
22:34Dylan!
22:35Are you guests?
22:36All right, everyone.
22:37Merry Christmas.
22:38You said you couldn't get out of hospital.
22:39Yeah, I lied.
22:40I'm out.
22:41I'm out.
22:42I'm out.
22:43I'm out.
22:44I'm out.
22:45I'm out.
22:46I'm out.
22:47I'm out.
22:48I'm out.
22:49I'm out.
22:50I'm out.
22:51I'm out.
22:52I'm out.
22:53I'm out.
22:54I'm out.
22:55I'm out.
22:56I'm out.
22:57I'm out.
22:58I'm out.
22:59I'm out.
23:00Yeah, I lied.
23:01I'm out.
23:02How are you feeling, sweetheart?
23:03Better for seeing this one.
23:04Well, it's been so long.
23:06You okay?
23:08Hello.
23:09Come here.
23:10I love you.
23:11Gonna be all right, aren't we?
23:12Yeah.
23:14Where's Eve?
23:15With Chas.
23:16Where's your mum?
23:17She's with Charles and Claudette.
23:19Oh, she's blowing you out, has she?
23:21Yeah, that's it.
23:23At least you know who your parent is.
23:28Sorry.
23:30I saw you.
23:31I saw you.
23:32I saw you take a while, where's Christmas Day of 주는?
23:34You can get it.
23:35You're on the pier.
23:36I saw you.
23:37I saw you.
23:38I saw you.
23:39I knew you.
23:40I saw you.
23:41I saw you.
23:42I saw you.
23:43I saw you.
23:44I saw you.
23:45I saw you.
23:46I saw you.
23:47I saw you.
23:48I saw you.
23:49Oh, dear, why? Is Christmas Day of Benk?
24:08OK, right, I'll make a book.
24:10Oh, this should be good.
24:11What the Ladybird Heard!
24:13No?
24:14What the Ladybird Heard Next?
24:16Well, that's the only two books you've ever read.
24:18Oh, er, The Godfather, that's a book.
24:20No, no, no, no, we have to wait, right, for how many words first.
24:24Right, of course.
24:25Two, three, four words.
24:27Four words, that's barely a headline.
24:29That's how many words are in the title?
24:31Oh, erm, Fifty Shades of Grey.
24:34Oh, well, if you start mumming that, I'm gouging me your notes.
24:37No, Ray, he's going to give us some clues, all right.
24:39Right, you're like Crocodile Dundee when he went to New York
24:42and had not a clue what was going on.
24:44Ooh, Jimmy and his highbrow cultural reference.
24:46Anyway, Ray knows plenty about Christmas.
24:48Show him your bracelet.
24:49No, no, no, no, we're playing a game!
24:51We're playing a game!
24:52Ooh, fancy.
24:54What have you been doing? Mining cryptocurrency?
24:56Oh, nothing that lucrative.
24:58Lucrative enough?
24:59I had nothing better to spend my money on.
25:01Oh, thanks.
25:02No, no, I didn't look at that.
25:03Oh, no, don't battle!
25:04I'm really offended.
25:05Look, this is going to take all day.
25:06I'm going to give you a verbal clue.
25:07It's what I want to do to Nicola, sometimes.
25:09Sexy time.
25:10Oh, no.
25:11Not on a Thursday.
25:12Oh, hang on.
25:13I know it.
25:14Tequila Mockingbird.
25:15You've got it!
25:16You've got it!
25:17You've got it!
25:18You've got it!
25:19You've got it!
25:20You've got it!
25:21You've got it!
25:22You've got it!
25:23You've got it!
25:24You've got a new man!
25:25Wait till you're asleep and see what happens to your face.
25:27Mwah!
25:28Right, come and get another drink.
25:29And then I'm telling you everything you're going to be buying me for Christmas next year.
25:32Have you got to play?
25:33Is this too much?
25:35This is the best Christmas ever.
25:37Oh!
25:38I don't know whether that makes me really happy or really sad.
25:40Well, it makes me happy.
25:43Well, play your cards right and you can have another one of these next year.
25:48Yeah?
25:53Oh!
25:54Decent, that!
25:55Thank you for your effusive praise.
25:58Hey, hey!
25:59So, I've got you one more present.
26:01Well, I sort of maybe kind of got it for myself, but are you ready?
26:04Go on.
26:08Eh?
26:09Yeah.
26:10We used to play that to Destruction when you were little, didn't we?
26:13I mean, literally.
26:14I think we went through about four of them.
26:15I had to buy a new one every other Christmas.
26:16And how did you manage that?
26:17Well, I used to...
26:18I found it very tense.
26:19I used to snap the little plastic doors.
26:21Yeah, you used to rage quit every time you lost, I seem to recall.
26:25I did not.
26:26Always.
26:27Anyway, she used to ask such weird questions.
26:29Does yours look like it could ride a horse?
26:31Yeah, I won every time.
26:33Ridiculously.
26:34So, we're playing then or what?
26:35Well, that sounds dangerous.
26:36Yeah, and it's only for two players.
26:38It's only two players.
26:39Look, we can team up.
26:40We can take turns.
26:44I just...
26:45I feel really lucky to be having this Christmas after where we were last year.
26:48And this would just be the icing on the cake.
26:51Indulge your old dad.
26:52Fine.
26:53Yeah?
26:54Yeah.
26:55We'll play at the table.
26:56So you can turn it over when you lose.
26:59There's pudding.
27:00Hello!
27:01Hello!
27:05Can you just help?
27:06Help Dylan?
27:07Yeah.
27:09One sec.
27:10Alright.
27:17Hello?
27:18I'm coming.
27:19Things are gonna be okay.
27:20Do you know that?
27:22Yeah, I do.
27:34It's me.
27:37Promise me you'll leave my family alone.
27:41Okay.
27:43Then I'll do it.
27:45I'll come with you.
27:46I'll do it.
27:47I'll do it.
27:50Come on!
27:51Oh!
27:52I'll do it.
27:53I'll do it.
27:54I'll do it.
27:55Yeah, I'll do it.
27:56I'll do it.
27:58Yeah, I'll do it.
28:00Woo!
28:02Yes, yes, yes.
28:03Come on, mate.
28:04What a surprise.
28:05You're good at making ladies' drinks.
28:08I'm so sorry.
28:11What a surprise.
28:14You're good at making ladies drinks.
28:16Do you want a soft drink?
28:17Oh, I do.
28:18It's pretty good, that one.
28:20I can't believe you love straws.
28:22Are they beetroot?
28:23Wow.
28:24I don't know.
28:25Why don't we play Cards Against Decency?
28:27Oh, yeah.
28:29No, we can't. I went and chucked them out.
28:31Why?
28:32Because he was reading all the cards and quoting from them randomly.
28:35It's like we were living with Frankie Boyle.
28:38I know a game I can play.
28:40Go on, then.
28:41Let's play Truth or Dare.
28:46Oh, nah.
28:48It's well boring.
28:49And anyway, everyone chooses dares, so...
28:51So, you book the trend then, Charity.
28:54Go truth.
28:56Ooh! Anyone want another drink?
28:58Yeah, yeah, I'll have another one, thanks.
29:00Or, I've got another one.
29:02Oh, this is a really good one.
29:04Never Have I Ever.
29:06Shall we play that?
29:07Why don't we play it in a minute when you've had some fresh air, darling?
29:10Never Have I Ever.
29:12Ooh!
29:13Let's think, what shall I go with?
29:15Never Have I Ever.
29:16Come on.
29:17Never Have I Ever.
29:19Ripped anyone's head off their shoulders.
29:21Do you know what?
29:22The night is yet young.
29:23Come on!
29:24Never Have I Ever.
29:25Never have you ever been this drunk lady.
29:27Shout out.
29:29Don't worry.
29:30I'm gonna.
29:31See ya.
29:32Yes.
29:33Oh, well come on then.
29:34Who are ya?
29:35What I've done this.
29:36Have you lost your tongue?
29:37Yeah.
29:38Oh no, wait, that's right.
29:39Not yet you haven't, because...
29:50Oh, wait, that's right. Not yet, you haven't, because I'm gonna cut it off and that's just for the start.
29:58Well, that's a big threat from a man in your very precarious position.
30:20You know, I know who you are.
30:30Yeah. Saves on introductions.
30:34Johnny Psycho, the murderer. Not true.
30:38Hmm. That kid wrapped himself up into that ball and then jumped in the lake today, yeah?
30:43Show some respect. That kid had a name. Nate. And his death was an accident.
30:50Oh, right. That will not be why nobody hates you then. Nobody refers to you as a massive nutter.
30:59Not very popular, are you?
31:01You know, truth be told, I made some mistakes. I let things slip. But now I'm gonna make up for it.
31:19The storm's coming.
31:26Not literally, idiot.
31:28Rude.
31:30You caused a bit of one, though, didn't you?
31:35What, with your little siege?
31:37Yeah, I read all about that in the news.
31:39A sword. Very, er...
31:41Very visually arresting.
31:45Not quite as effective as a bullet, though.
31:47I came this close
31:49to putting one through your husband's head yesterday.
31:53Just after I drugged you
31:55and stopped you shooting my husband.
31:57You know, I was so wrong about you.
32:01You're completely mentally stable.
32:03Aaron really does not know what he's missing.
32:06Aaron is not gonna miss out on anything. He knows where his future lies.
32:09But there's a bit of work to be done first, though.
32:14Well, this is your little squat, is it?
32:17I like what you've done with the place.
32:18Well, I see.
32:20Yours, it's, er...
32:22It's mine, now.
32:24Hmm.
32:25Well, it suits you.
32:28Just need to knock together a little pad itself, are ya?
32:31Cos that's where you're ending up.
32:33I'm ending up with Aaron.
32:36Together, like we are meant to be.
32:38Happy, content, and committed to each other.
32:43With you and Robert nowhere to be seen, by anyone ever again.
32:46Tell me one thing me coming clean will achieve.
32:50I'll tell you two.
32:52She'll know the truth.
32:53Jacob will know the truth.
32:55And also, Mac will know the truth.
32:56And yet, I know that's three.
32:57I've had a drink. Sue me.
32:58Oh, no.
32:59Beautiful speech, Vanessa.
33:01Have you got another one to help Sarah pick herself up off the floor once her life's in bits?
33:06Feels like that's your job, don't you think?
33:08No, it doesn't have to be anybody's job if they just, if they just, if they just lie to her for the rest of her life.
33:14She's never gonna forgive me for this, and you know that.
33:21Mmm.
33:22Fair for that, Liam.
33:23You know, I've always thought of Eat and Mess as one of those terrible games that they play at boarding school.
33:28Oh!
33:29Well, it's a good thing we've finished our food before you gave us that disgusting image.
33:33Kindred spirits.
33:39Ah, cute.
33:40I am, actually, yeah.
33:41Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a grave on Christmas Day?
33:43She's that where you've been.
33:53Oh, sorry, is this a private party?
33:55It doesn't have to be. Sit down.
33:57We didn't want to intrude.
33:58No, no, no, not at all.
34:00Is Mary not with you?
34:01No, she's a...
34:03She's a very keen Scrabble player.
34:05Very keen.
34:06And serious.
34:08We didn't lie to her.
34:09I said I wanted to check on Kevin.
34:11What?
34:12To see if he'd checked in with you at all.
34:14Has he?
34:15No.
34:16I got a card.
34:18Just said Kay.
34:20I know what he's done.
34:21But no one should be alone at this time if you...
34:23Do you want a drink?
34:25Ooh.
34:26I reckon Clorette could be trouble on bubbles.
34:28I'm not.
34:29I'm Randy on Shandy.
34:30I'll have a Shandy.
34:32I'll have a Shandy.
34:33No.
34:34Just joking.
34:35Or am I?
34:37Cheers, everyone.
34:39Well, just...
34:40Hang on a sec.
34:45I'm not really a fan of publicly humiliating myself.
34:49Oh, well that's not true, but carry on.
34:52Ah, it's good.
34:53It's very good.
34:54Erm...
34:55I just...
34:56I just wanted to say...
34:58This year's been a bit...
34:59Well, I mean, even by R standards, it's er...
35:02It's been a weird one.
35:06It's been hard, mostly.
35:08And very hard.
35:10Sometimes.
35:11Scary.
35:12And...
35:13It's been sad.
35:14But it's also been...
35:15Amazing.
35:17And...
35:18It's been sad.
35:22But...
35:23It's also been...
35:25Amazing.
35:27And although you're...
35:29Most of you are...
35:31A pain in the backside.
35:33Erm...
35:34You're family.
35:36We're family.
35:37And...
35:39I'm glad we've got each other.
35:42So, you know...
35:45Merry Christmas.
35:46Merry Christmas.
35:47Merry Christmas.
35:49Merry Christmas.
35:51The family.
35:52Well...
35:53And you.
35:55Sarah wants this baby so much.
35:58No, she wants her baby so much.
36:00And this isn't that.
36:02You got pregnant by your husband.
36:04Your husband?
36:05Your husband?
36:06Who's already had one child ripped out of his life.
36:09And...
36:10And despite your age-defying lady bits,
36:12isn't likely to get another chance at being a dad.
36:16Charity's just...
36:17It's so wrong on so many levels.
36:20Do you know what else it is?
36:21None of my business.
36:23Bingo!
36:24So, do you know what I'm going to do?
36:25Right now.
36:26I'm going to go home.
36:27And I suggest you follow and get Johnny and go home yourself.
36:30Preferably without shouting your mouth off.
36:34Merry Christmas.
36:35Merry Christmas.
36:36Merry Christmas.
36:37Merry Christmas.
36:38Merry Christmas.
36:39Merry Christmas.
36:40Right.
36:41Torch is on.
36:44Okay.
36:45Let's go see Grandad.
36:46Do you want it?
36:47We'll swap.
36:49Bye.
36:50Bye.
36:51Bye.
36:52Bye.
36:53Bye.
36:54Bye.
36:55Bye.
36:56Bye.
36:57Bye.
36:58Bye.
36:59Bye.
37:00Bye.
37:01Bye.
37:02Bye.
37:03Bye.
37:04Bye.
37:05Bye.
37:06Bye.
37:07Bye.
37:08Bye.
37:09Bye.
37:10Bye.
37:11Bye.
37:12Bye.
37:13Bye.
37:14Bye.
37:15Bye.
37:16Bye.
37:17Bye.
37:18Bye.
37:19Bye.
37:20Bye.
37:21Bye.
37:22Bye.
37:23Bye.
37:24Bye.
37:25Bye.
37:26Bye.
37:27Bye.
37:28Bye.
37:29Bye.
37:30Bye.
37:31Bye.
37:32Bye.
37:33Here now.
37:42What's this?
37:43This is a lot of hard work.
37:46So you up for it?
37:48Me? Why?
37:50Because this is your car.
37:53Merry Christmas, son.
37:55Is it actually mine?
37:57Well, I mean, it's a bit of a stare at the moment.
37:59OK.
38:01Well, it won't be when we're finished, though,
38:04because me and you are going to turn this
38:06into the best car for miles.
38:08Three years.
38:09What?
38:10Well, you know, until you're old enough to drive it
38:12when you're 17.
38:14So you up for it or what?
38:15Yeah, definitely.
38:31What?
38:53Like I didn't exist.
39:01Can you stop walking into me, please?
39:02But we're certain it's me
39:03that's why we gotta go.
39:04Can you stop walking into me, please?
39:08Can you stop walking into me, please?
39:30Well, we're certain it's me that's walking into you, are we?
39:33Absolutely. 110%.
39:35Oh, no. Don't be that person.
39:37What person?
39:38A butcherer of percentages.
39:41Butcherer is not a word.
39:43Yes, it is.
39:44What's it mean, then?
39:47Someone who butchers.
39:49It's just a butcher.
39:51Are you going to open the door, then, or what?
39:53You've got the keys.
39:54Oh, you've got the keys.
39:55You've got the keys in your hand right now.
39:58Oh!
40:00I think I might be a bit drunk.
40:02Yeah, well, you're stone-cold sober compared to Aron.
40:04Do you think you're still asleep?
40:06Oh, yeah.
40:07Oh, gosh.
40:08You'll be flat out in that back room all night.
40:12Right.
40:13Yes!
40:18Where have you been?
40:20Out.
40:22Yeah, I think the clue was when you walked back in.
40:25Where'd you go?
40:26Went for a walk.
40:27Oh, right.
40:30Be like that, Mr. International Man of Mystery.
40:37So, not an easy day, then.
40:42Well, it's been fun.
40:43Where is everyone?
40:44Uh, Vanessa and Johnny have gone home.
40:49Sarah and Jacob went out with Moses on his new scooter, and...
40:52...Ross trailed off like a bad smell on a gentle breeze.
40:57We are alone.
41:01For once.
41:02Do you want to take advantage?
41:05Mm-hmm.
41:06Are we good?
41:08We're great.
41:12Come on, then.
41:12All right.
41:31Hey, glad tidings one and all.
41:40Oh, back out of your bowl.
41:41Hold that.
42:01That's better.
42:31Big day, eh?
42:38Big year.
42:41I thought it was going to be the best year ever, but...
42:44Hey, I'll go and check, won't be sick.
42:50I'll go and check, won't be sick, won't be sick, won't be sick, won't be sick.
43:20No, he's fine, won't be tomorrow, but that's his problem.
43:35So many people care about you, but not one of them as much as I do.
43:43Twenty-twenty-five has been a shocking year, but twenty-six, no.
43:51That is going to be the best year ever, because you and me, we're going to be together.
43:58And now I won.
43:59And now I won.
44:00And now I won.
44:05You and me, we're going to be together.
44:12Bye.
44:13Bye.
44:14Bye.
44:15Bye.
44:17Bye.
44:17Bye.
44:19Bye.
44:20Bye.
44:22Bye.
44:24Bye.
44:25Bye.
44:27Bye.
44:28Bye.
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