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00:00You're walking into a unit right now with 45, 50 males.
00:18That's 100 eyes on you.
00:22As a female going into that, it's got to be twice as bad.
00:26Ready?
00:26In my mind, I'm thinking, what did I sign up to do?
00:42For a lot of inmates, jail is a revolving door.
00:47We've learned that inmates without any family support are more likely to return to jail.
00:53Turn around, put your hands behind your back.
00:55I'm scared.
00:56I regret doing this.
01:08You need some change or there is no more support after this.
01:13Enough is enough.
01:18Lock it in now!
01:20I'm in prison with violent convicted criminals.
01:23You have to set yourself in war zone mentality.
01:29I'm going to go into a panic attack and need to be at the hospital.
01:32This is your lifeline.
01:38This is the person who's going to help you stay out of jail.
01:42For these inmates, this is their last chance.
01:45This is the opportunity to mend that broken bond and prove to their family members that they're going to get it right this time.
01:52You have to get it together, man.
01:53You have to get it together, man.
01:55Like you and my heart now is.
01:58This is my last chance with you, to be honest.
02:00You want to be the cause of death for your mom, you know what I mean?
02:11You're lying to me.
02:12I don't know how much more I can get.
02:16Turn around.
02:17Put your hands behind your back for your safety of my own.
02:21My name is Raven, and I'm going to spend the next 48 hours in county jail to walk in the same footsteps as my brother, Deshaun.
02:27I don't have anything in your pockets I can harm you or myself.
02:30No sharps?
02:31Nope.
02:32Deshaun was arrested on federal charges and state charges for conspiracies.
02:36I don't have anything in your pockets I can harm you or myself.
02:37No sharps?
02:38Nope.
02:39Deshaun was arrested on federal charges and state charges for conspiracies.
02:51to distribute drugs and guns.
02:53Take one step back from the vehicle.
02:56My brother was sentenced to three years in federal prison, and now he's serving an 11-month sentence at Hampden County Jail.
03:05My mom became pregnant with me when Deshaun was three months, so we're basically twins.
03:11We've always been very close, so when he was arrested, it was very hard to watch.
03:16Let me stand for me.
03:18The winter of 2021, our house had gotten raided by the feds.
03:24It was crazy.
03:25It was like more than like 17 officers came to pick him up.
03:28Watch your hands as you're getting in.
03:30It's an experience that you can't erase.
03:32You remember what that feels like.
03:35That experience affected my family as a whole.
03:38We all have been serving the sentence with Deshaun.
03:41My mom has held most of the burden since Deshaun's been arrested.
03:49She does have some health conditions.
03:52I do think she's grieving the loss of her son's presence, and I want him to understand that his decisions really affect people.
04:00Because like, if Deshaun finds himself in trouble again, he could lose his family.
04:06Something that my mom always says is like, I'll do one bid with you, but I'm not going to do more than one.
04:15It's time for Deshaun to understand that there is no more support after this.
04:22If he doesn't get together, I'm done.
04:24This is it.
04:25Enough is enough.
04:52My name is Deshaun.
04:54I'm 23 years old, and I've been incarcerated for three years right now.
04:59The charges were possession of a firearm and selling drugs.
05:03I'm going home in six months.
05:05Hey, DJ.
05:06It's our pep.
05:07Yo, kid.
05:10Growing up, my mom always did her best, but you can't compete with guys that was on the block all day.
05:16They got a limited amount of money, shoes every week, and stuff like that.
05:19I wanted all these nice things.
05:21How do I get this?
05:22And I jumped into the street life.
05:25I would sell a little weed.
05:27I'm selling weed.
05:28I upgraded selling dope.
05:30I was thinking that was untouchable.
05:32Police, they're running down.
05:33They're never getting nothing.
05:35I haven't caught cases yet.
05:36It's always a scenario that can happen, but I'm like, nah, that can't happen to me.
05:44Yes, ma'am.
05:45I was stashing guns and drugs in the house.
05:47Stepdad might find some drugs behind the wall.
05:50I stashed two guns in my grandma's grill.
05:53She's going to go clean the grill out, and she found paper bag.
05:56Oh, my.
05:57What's going on?
05:58Like, what the is going on?
06:00And then the raid, that hurt my sister.
06:04That hurt my mother.
06:05That hurt my stepdad.
06:06And it left trauma.
06:07Me and my sister are really close.
06:12Really, really close.
06:13But, um, I think what I've done, in a way, had tarnished our relationship.
06:20I want to be able to fix my relationship with Raven.
06:23Show my sister that I'm serious, and I need her support to stay out of jail.
06:28Somebody I love and I care about.
06:31Somebody that's so close and dear to my heart.
06:35I'm about to go into jail.
06:54And I am a little nervous just because I want to be safe.
07:00I am a third and fourth grade math and science teacher.
07:13Take your hand and place it on top of your head, okay?
07:16I've never gotten in trouble.
07:19So, I am a little worried because I've never been in jail.
07:23All right, I'm going to do a quick, fast search.
07:25I'm going to have you put your arms out.
07:27Going through intake, you can feel the transition.
07:30All right, I'm going to have you follow me to the metal detector, okay?
07:34The moment you walk in, your freedom is revoked.
07:37Chin, cheek, cheek, you don't have to touch it.
07:46I'm going to have to do a visual search.
07:48Getting naked in front of officers, it's horrible.
07:52Going through the strip search brought me back to how I felt when we were raided and feeling dehumanized and feeling the lack of control.
08:05I quickly felt very uncomfortable.
08:08Going into the females unit, I am worried.
08:20Jail is a very volatile environment.
08:23My life can be at jeopardy.
08:25Jail is a very volatile environment.
08:26I feel like I am in jeopardy.
08:27I am in jeopardy.
08:28I am in jeopardy.
08:29I am in jeopardy.
08:30I am in jeopardy.
08:31I am in jeopardy.
08:32I am in jeopardy.
08:38I am in jeopardy.
08:40Not knowing why these people are here definitely strikes some nerves because you're like, okay, who should I trust?
08:51Not knowing why these people are here definitely strikes some nerves because you're like,
08:58okay, who should I trust?
09:00Is it safe for me to talk to this person?
09:02Is it not safe for me to talk to this person?
09:08These inmates can cause danger to me.
09:13And it's something I'm worried about.
09:18In my mind, I'm thinking, what did I sign up to do?
09:48Coming into the pod, I'm trying to think of a way to, like, kind of approach the other
09:54inmates and how to build conversation in a way that's not threatening.
10:02But, like, my anxiety or not knowing, like, how to maneuver, I definitely was out of ten,
10:08like, making sure I'm not overstepping any boundaries that are preset.
10:12Can I sit with somebody?
10:14Can I sit with you?
10:23Hi, my name is Raven.
10:24Hi.
10:25I'm Tara.
10:26Whatever food you don't want, this one over.
10:30Okay.
10:31Did you over on the other unit?
10:33No, no, no.
10:34Your first date?
10:35Mm-hmm.
10:36Oh, okay.
10:37That was juice.
10:42Oh, honey.
10:43This is salt.
10:44What?
10:45They don't give us salt.
10:46Wait.
10:47What is she talking about juice, though?
10:48That ain't no juice.
10:49I'm looking at something.
10:50This is juice.
10:51Juice?
10:52Yeah, that's juice.
10:54They laughing at me.
10:55This is juice.
10:57The food is horrible, but this is, like, something that they consider five-star cuisine.
11:02And it kind of gives me empathy for my brother, knowing that he's eating jail food.
11:07Every day.
11:08It's not really appetizing at all.
11:10All right.
11:11Hello, doctor.
11:12Sean, how are you, man?
11:13How we doing?
11:14Nice to meet you.
11:15All right.
11:16Hello, doctor.
11:17Sean, how are you, man?
11:18How we doing?
11:19Nice to meet you.
11:20How we doing?
11:21All right.
11:22Have a seat.
11:23So, how's it going?
11:24I'm doing all right, yourself.
11:25I'm doing okay.
11:26How long you been doing time?
11:27All together for almost four years.
11:28Four years?
11:29Yeah.
11:30What are you doing this bid for?
11:31Firearm charge.
11:32Firearm?
11:33Yeah.
11:34Got caught with an AK-47.
11:35All right, Sean, how are you man? Nice to meet you. How we doing? All right, have a seat
11:45So how's it going? I'm doing all right yourself. I'm doing okay. How long you been doing time?
11:51All together for almost four years. Four years. What are you doing this bid for?
11:56A firearm charge. Firearm? Yeah. I got caught with an AK-47. What are you doing with an AK-47?
12:04I don't know. Texting, I guess. You can say that. When we had to make sure that we were good, we were good.
12:11So when you're saying we, were you part of a gang or something? I had no gang affiliation, but I ran with a couple people.
12:18But you ran with some folks. Okay, I hear you. So Deshaun, what is it that you're looking
12:25to get out of this experience with your sister here? I want to let her know never to come here,
12:32never ever to come here, because this is not the place to be. Okay. I got to tell you, I'm not buying it.
12:43What does your sister do for a living? She's a school teacher for third and fourth grade.
12:48And how many school teachers for third and fourth grade do you know
12:52are concerned about ending up in jail?
12:57Not like I said. All right. You know, I know. I see you laughing too.
13:02You're a very charming person.
13:05But we're going to have to put the charm and all of that stuff aside,
13:08and you got to be real with you. Is there a deeper reason?
13:12When I first got incarcerated, our house was raided, and she was in the raid,
13:21and there was a lot of things that happened, and I would like to talk about that.
13:24Because she went through some stuff.
13:26Some trauma.
13:27From the cops coming in and so on.
13:30Yeah.
13:32I'm looking to rebuild the barn, the rekindle, the leaning on each other.
13:38I'm here for you, and vice versa.
13:40I need your support to stay out of jail.
13:42I'm here.
13:43So let's cut out the crap about she's here, so she doesn't come to jail.
13:49She's here because you need to connect with her, and you need to talk with her.
13:54You're absolutely right.
13:55Okay? So you and I need to make an agreement that, respectfully, I'm going to call you
14:05straight up, so you have a chance to connect with your sister here.
14:11This is your lifeline. This is the person who's going to help you stay out of jail.
14:18Absolutely.
14:19Okay.
14:25So Raven, we're here to talk to you about Deshawn. I don't know if he shared anything
14:39with you about his time in jail.
14:41Um, I know at one point he told me that he was trying to go to school, that he was running a club.
14:48I think he once told me that he did have a job. I'm not sure if he's working.
14:52A little vague.
14:53A little vague.
14:54A little vague, yeah.
14:55Um, there seems to be a little discrepancy in maybe of what he's telling you.
15:01He has not been inactivated any other programs.
15:04His discipline record has been an issue for him.
15:07Can we talk more about, like, his discipline?
15:09So when he first came in a month in, he got caught with tobacco.
15:13He got mouthy with an officer back and forth.
15:15They got him locked in.
15:16So he finds his way to get tickets.
15:19It prevents you from getting the programming for at least 30 days.
15:23And because of that, he's not giving himself every opportunity that we could provide to him.
15:28So when he's held up a lot of times, it's kind of by his own doing.
15:32When I had spoke with my brother two months ago, he led me to believe that he was taking initiative for a change and was participating in programs.
15:42It was kind of shocking to learn that my brother was lying to me.
15:46It definitely pissed me off.
15:48We noticed a lot of the things that keep getting him in trouble is it's not just him.
15:55So it's like he's with a group of guys that he may follow.
15:58It's the people he's associating with in the jail.
16:00You know, and on top of that, now that he's associated with a certain group of guys,
16:04he's been classified and put with a certain gang.
16:08Sometimes where you get placed, you become affiliated with them just on where you are.
16:12And when you talk about leaving, you know, we can separate those individuals in here by our standards.
16:18But if you're outside of here on the street, you can't do that.
16:21So in Holyoke, they may have Latin Kings, La Familia.
16:24It's big down there.
16:26They have those guys on his unit right now.
16:28But he's also is mixed in with some bloods and guys like that.
16:31We don't want to jeopardize him in the community.
16:34He could also be with a family member in the community and run into somebody that, you know,
16:38and that puts you guys in danger. And that's what we're trying to avoid with him.
16:43He is being oblivious to the dangers for me and for my family as a whole.
16:48I need to make him understand that his actions have consequences to them.
16:52And it takes taking accountability for us to move forward.
16:56He's coming up on release within the next few months.
16:59So this is going to be a crucial time for him.
17:08As my night winds down and I'm getting locked in, it's hitting me how real this experience is.
17:38I thought that I would just be able to fall asleep once I got to my cell.
17:58You become exhausted.
18:04It does concern me that this is what life in prison is like for my brother.
18:09I'm here to pull one out of the practice.
18:12The event starts now.
18:33I'm coming.
18:38I'm coming.
18:39I'm coming.
18:40I'm coming.
18:41I'm not going to do a visual search.
18:48Again?
18:49Yes.
18:51Shirt, pants.
18:56Getting naked in front of officers for the second time,
18:59I still feel very uncomfortable.
19:01Hands all the way up.
19:02Stick your tongue out.
19:03Lift it up.
19:04Nice and behind each ear.
19:06Other ear.
19:07Shake your hair out for me.
19:08Okay.
19:09Lift up your breasts.
19:10Come around.
19:11Face the wall.
19:12Lift up one foot.
19:13You're getting naked.
19:14You're exposing yourself.
19:15And you start to lose your inner self.
19:17Bend at the waist.
19:18Spread your cheeks and cough.
19:20You're all set.
19:21You can get dressed.
19:23I hope that Deshaun understands not only my efforts,
19:26but kind of like the intentions behind my efforts.
19:28Because it kind of like just made me feel like,
19:30what the am I doing here?
19:31Like, get me the out of here now.
19:33Watch yourself.
19:35And also watch your head growing up.
19:37I'm gonna shut your door, okay?
19:38Okay.
19:39First meeting with Dr. Jeff opened up a lot of doors that I didn't know I needed to sort through.
19:52One being the raid happening.
19:53I definitely need to be there and be better man and fix my relationship with my sister.
19:57And hopefully mend the trauma that I caused to hurt my family.
20:01Watch your head first.
20:02opened up a lot of doors that I didn't know
20:04I needed to sort through.
20:06One being the raid happening,
20:08I definitely need to be there and be better men
20:11and fix my relationship with my sister
20:13and hopefully amend the trauma that I caused
20:15to her and my family.
20:24It is hurtful to think of walking away from a relationship,
20:28especially a brother-sister dynamic relationship.
20:32But there is a limit.
20:36If he's not making the progress that he needs to make then it's done, it's over with.
20:47I'm ready to let him know straight up.
20:51I know I caused a lot of pain.
20:56So her experiencing this with me, this is serious, this is not a joke.
21:01I have too much to lose.
21:03I have too much to lose.
21:06Excuse me for now.
21:08Love.
21:09Love.
21:40I see you in this uniform, and I want you to know that to, like, the fullest extent, bro.
21:45Seeing pain you feel just thinking about me being here?
21:49No, it's like the real pain that we feel seeing you be here.
21:52Because it's not like you're a horrible person.
21:55You're not a horrible person.
21:56We know you, and I know you better than anybody else.
22:01So, like, I know it hurts to see me here, but I'm here for a reason.
22:07I'm really stepping.
22:08Like, I'm really stepping in the position.
22:09I'm really around inmates that are inside for crimes that I have seen on the news.
22:16So, that doesn't show you that I came here for you to change.
22:23I don't know what else it's going to take, you know?
22:26Hi there.
22:27I didn't want to interrupt.
22:29How are you guys?
22:30How are you doing?
22:30I'm good.
22:31So, some heavy stuff has been going on in here.
22:36What's happening?
22:36I'm telling him what I expect moving forward.
22:41And I can't say that Deshaun is putting his best foot forward at the moment.
22:46I did have a chance to speak to Yesenia.
22:49So, Yesenia was telling me that,
22:50you're not being honest with me.
22:51You're getting in trouble.
22:53You know what I mean?
22:54You choose petty battles that hold you back.
22:57You don't pick the right people to surround yourself around.
23:01And your gang affiliation does raise red flags for me.
23:04I don't think we should be pussyfooting around with what's going on.
23:12Whomever gang or informal gang, the people that you run with,
23:16a gang by any other name is a gang.
23:19And it does raise some concern for me
23:22because it can cause a danger to not only you,
23:26it affects the family.
23:28It affects your mom.
23:29So, let's talk about that.
23:30You know, you're really hurting.
23:31You're really taking a lot of life away from your mom.
23:33And I don't think you're realizing that.
23:38I don't think you're really understanding the pain that she feels.
23:42And not only that, it's pain that she kind of has to suppress.
23:47You know what I mean?
23:49So, she's feeling this pain and she's trying to support you the best she can.
23:54And she's a mother of three, so it's like she's trying to split herself.
23:58And right now, you're draining her battery.
24:02She's not young, she's not healthy, so it's like you want to be the cause of death for your mom, you know what I mean?
24:13You're draining them, and they're invested in you.
24:18You're hurting your family.
24:19No, I know I'm taking a lot from her, for sure.
24:28Since day one, since the raid.
24:32What happened that day, when the cops came into your house?
24:36When they came and did a protective sweep of the house, went room to room, they ended up engaging with my sister.
24:44She had just came out the shower, and they tried to, they violated her.
24:52And when you said they violated your sister, what did they do?
25:00You sure?
25:00Do you want to say what happened?
25:06So, um, I think that moment that they came in, they assumed that we were all, all guilty, and as I'm getting off, out the shower, my towel was essentially pulled off my body in front of over 10 male officers, not one female.
25:32So, yeah, my body was exposed, and I think for me, it was very hurtful and embarrassing, there's no female officers on scene, and they're just storming in through every room, I think.
25:45How old were you at the time?
25:47I'm 19, so.
25:50That's one of those moments that when you feel your personal being being violated, it's just not a feeling you can forget.
25:58How has this affected you in your life?
26:05Just emotionally, I was not there emotionally, I think that it took away my identity.
26:15It's a trauma.
26:18It was a trauma.
26:21I didn't even get myself.
26:25I didn't intend it ever happen.
26:28I'm big on protection, I'm big on nobody playing with my people.
26:39I couldn't have saved nobody, I couldn't be the protector that day.
26:46I mean, they could have shot me dead.
26:47My people see me shot me dead.
26:50They could have shot one of them.
26:52They could have shot my stepfather, my mother.
26:55It's not a good feeling.
26:56For my negligence, for what I've done.
27:04Sorry for everything I've done.
27:07The raid and everything I haven't apologized for.
27:11Your apology to her means you feel responsible.
27:17Absolutely.
27:17What are you feeling right now?
27:22Do you think you can move forward?
27:26I don't know.
27:27Do you think you can move forward?
27:39I'm not sure.
27:41Because I need to see, like, change from him.
27:45Somebody's hurting so much and they keep on pouring into you.
27:49It comes to a point where they're going to end up hurt.
27:53If he can't get it together here, it's going to be very difficult for the family to continue to support him.
28:00Don't get in trouble.
28:03Not one more time.
28:04And to me, I think that right there, just letting you know you can't get in trouble, is really the deal breaker because there is no more support after this.
28:15Our relationship that's done, it's over with.
28:18And you mean that, right?
28:19So here's the homework assignment I want to give you.
28:24What I want you to do, Deshaun, is I want you to really think about accountability, severing ties with the people that you run with.
28:36How are you legitimately going to change your life?
28:40Fair enough?
28:41Absolutely.
28:42Okay.
28:43So we'll continue this and we will make the changes.
28:49You ready?
28:58Oh, shit!
29:01You know, guys!
29:02You know, guys!
29:03You know, guys!
29:04You know, guys!
29:05You know, guys!
29:10Talk here.
29:12Talk here.
29:14When I got into the unit, there was, like, a lot of commotion.
29:18Hearing guys speaking about what gang they were at by throwing up gang signs.
29:23You good?
29:24You good?
29:24You good?
29:25You good, man.
29:26Why y'all do nothing?
29:27You're going to be good.
29:28It was very intimidating for me.
29:31This is my little sis right here, you know what you're saying?
29:39This is really my mans right here, too.
29:41This is really my mans.
29:41This is my mans bully, you know what I mean?
29:43Don't be running.
29:45It kind of hurts me to kind of see the environment that he's living in and the friends he's surrounding
29:51himself around.
29:52What you want?
29:53You want some chips?
29:54What?
29:55Sour cream onions?
29:56Show me your room.
29:57My love, this is my room.
29:58This is all it is.
29:59This is it.
30:00It's nothing to it.
30:01But this is it, my love.
30:03I got a picture of you.
30:04I got mad pictures of you.
30:06Let me see.
30:07Let me see.
30:08Let me see.
30:09Let me see.
30:10Let me see.
30:11This is mad funny.
30:12Oh, you got my birthday picture?
30:14Bro, what you think?
30:15You think I don't be out there outsourcing, trying to get you?
30:18I got you, bro.
30:19What?
30:20How did she even get this picture?
30:21I didn't even take pictures this day.
30:22Murda, have me.
30:23Liliana Lee.
30:24I have a picture already printed.
30:25Bro, I got mad pictures of you.
30:26What you think?
30:27I don't be playing.
30:28He was just so excited to have me there and show me everything he had there.
30:37I was seeing recent pictures of me and I'm just in my head like, how did you even get
30:42these?
30:43Mommy's such a creep sending my pictures.
30:46Come on, bro.
30:47I got you.
30:48I told you all the time.
30:49Send me pictures.
30:50Send me pictures.
30:51That was very empowering to kind of see how much he kind of holds his family close to
30:57him while he's in there.
30:58Man, I missed you, girl.
31:01I know, but if you're going to be here for six months and you want me to believe that
31:06you're going to change, you can't ever, for the next six months, get tickets or talk
31:11back.
31:12It is lock-ins, Deshawn.
31:13All right.
31:16Hi, Raven.
31:21I love you.
31:22I miss you.
31:23For me, it was very emotional because all we've known is each other and I think we know
31:29each other best.
31:30And over the past few years, two people that were always together are all of a sudden not
31:35allowed to have that contact.
31:36Okay.
31:37I think that we all have been serving the sentence with Deshawn.
31:44And I don't think it's fair for us to have some of the consequences of his mistake.
31:48This really my man's right here.
31:49You understand?
31:50If he continues affiliating himself with certain crowds, he will be on his own after this.
31:57I love you.
31:58All right?
31:59A'ight.
32:02A'ight?
32:04A'ight.
32:05A'ight.
32:06A'ight.
32:07A'ight.
32:08A'ight.
32:17Good morning!
32:18A'ight.
32:19A'ight.
32:20A'ight.
32:21President, I'm here.
32:23I am going to take a call to residence.
32:29Deputy?
32:30Yes.
32:31How you doing?
32:32They said that you have to be an intake for nine.
32:34Okay.
32:35We'll be there to walk you over.
32:37Today is his last meeting with Dr. Jeff.
32:40I want my brother to really understand
32:43that it's time to stay out of trouble.
32:45If my brother can't get his together,
32:48I'm done with him.
32:51I'm a little tired.
32:55I'm exhausted.
32:56How are you doing?
32:57I'm well. How are you?
33:00All right.
33:01I don't think I've slept since I've been here.
33:07I've been here.
33:08I've been here.
33:10I'm exhausted.
33:11How are you doing?
33:12How are you?
33:14I don't think I've slept since I've been here.
33:19slept since I've been here.
33:21So this jail experience is not as easy
33:25as you thought it would be.
33:26No, no.
33:29Yeah.
33:29And I thought that the easiest part
33:30would be being able to sleep.
33:32Mm-hmm.
33:33That has been the hardest.
33:35How was your evening?
33:37For a moment, it didn't feel real.
33:39Like, it was crazy.
33:41My sister's actually here.
33:42Like, we having these conversations.
33:44We're building.
33:45We're trying to rekindle things.
33:47We're putting things back into perspective.
33:50And you feel real.
33:52A lot happened.
33:54And it's a good thing.
33:57And I know it was very painful for you.
34:00And so I'd like to ask you, Deshaun,
34:03how did you feel about your sister breaking down
34:07when she was talking about what happened with the cops coming
34:11in and how she felt violated in that way?
34:16It hurt.
34:18It hurt to be the reason why tears are brought to her eyes.
34:24So I really want us to get to the heart of the matter.
34:29What are the next steps for you?
34:33How are you legitimately going to change your life?
34:38What I can do, I ain't going to say the best thing I can do.
34:42What I can do, first of all, stay away from the people
34:46that I was playing around with or getting money with and all that.
34:50You feel me?
34:52My mind is just legit, legit, legit.
34:54If I can go hard and sell drugs at a million miles per hour
34:58and play with honey guns, then I mean, I can do it legit,
35:01just as much as legit if I put all the focus in it.
35:06I really need to shape in or shape out.
35:08I really need to do this for my family and myself
35:13and give it the best shot, put my best foot forward.
35:15So I'm hoping that once next month comes around,
35:21you're enrolled in some programs.
35:23Stop us about what you're doing here
35:26and all the programs or whatever.
35:29Do the frickin' programs.
35:32And you need to make the proper amends to your family.
35:37Take responsibility.
35:42I say you're right, to be honest, true.
35:44Yeah, you're right.
35:47I've done my crimes.
35:49I was in that life.
35:50I've done what I've done.
35:52Nobody else should have to go through that type of trauma.
35:55Nobody else signed up for that.
36:01In God's honest truth, I'm sorry for everything I did.
36:07Everything that the raid and everything
36:10I probably couldn't apologize for or haven't apologized for.
36:14You know what I'm saying?
36:17Let me take accountability today and let you know I'm for real.
36:21I'm sorry.
36:22I'm sorry to everybody.
36:23I'm sorry for family.
36:24The pain, you know firsthand what I've done or the trauma
36:30because you had to be there to pick up the pieces
36:33while I had to go to jail.
36:35And so it is time.
36:37When I do come home, I'm going to do everything,
36:39everything, everything to stay out of this place
36:43and never come back.
36:45Every day.
36:46Every day.
36:50So, Raven, what's going to happen on release day?
36:54Are you going to be there for your brother?
36:56I don't know.
37:03So, Raven, what's going to happen on release day?
37:15Are you going to be there for your brother?
37:21I don't know.
37:22Because he needs to prove that he's doing what he said
37:26he's going to do and stay out of trouble.
37:31I feel like him apologizing and him being able to take
37:35accountability for some of his actions tells me that he
37:38understands his wrongdoings.
37:40It shows the growth.
37:43You're being released.
37:44Thank you very much.
37:46Deshawn says he has plans on living his life correct
37:49and being a changed person once he gets out.
37:54But moving forward, we need to see change from him.
37:58I do want to see him not getting in trouble and he needs
38:02to stop hanging around the wrong crew while he's still in jail.
38:06You're just going to sign for your clothing that you just
38:08received and all your remaining properties.
38:10Maybe the officer will follow you down with, okay?
38:12So, just sign right here for me.
38:14That is my brother.
38:15I love him.
38:16You're all set to go.
38:17Good luck to you, okay?
38:19But if he finds himself coming in and out of trouble,
38:23it's going to be him on his own figuring it out.
38:40How the you talking to?
38:42Stop playing, Mike.
38:43Yo, stop playing.
38:44We be out of here.
38:45I only got about, like, 10 minutes.
38:46Watch your mouth.
38:47Packing up.
38:48I'm getting out of here today.
38:49This is all I'm taking.
38:50This is some paperwork, mail, pictures that I got sent
38:53since I've been down.
38:54Saw it at a show for four years and two months.
38:55Came here at 20 years old, leaving at 24.
38:57What my sister told me to do was stay out of trouble.
39:00At the end of the day, I did stay out of trouble.
39:02I think it's real important to show my sister that I
39:23won't be doing the same things or hanging with
39:25the same people because I need my sister to support more
39:28and stay out of jail, what are you going to do better?
39:31You got something to prove to people that you love.
39:34If my sister's not there outside, when I get released,
39:36I mean, it'll hurt, you understand?
39:42So I'm hoping she's here, ultimately, at the end.
39:45Yo, DJ.
39:46Yo.
39:47Yo.
39:48Hey.
39:49You know what I am.
39:51You already know what I am.
39:53Your ass home is in the body here.
39:55You heard?
39:56Absolutely.
39:57Black, stay dangerous.
39:58Stay black and stay dangerous.
39:59Stay half black and stay dangerous.
40:00Stay half black and stay dangerous.
40:01Oh, they call me?
40:08I'm gone.
40:09Get up out of here.
40:11I got a second.
40:12If she's not out there, I would understand.
40:15I've hurt my sister in ways that I couldn't even imagine.
40:18It would also maybe mean that I have a lot more to prove
40:21and action instead of just words.
40:23This is your release certificate.
40:25You're good.
40:26Let me see your ID.
40:29Hey, Mike.
40:30You can follow me over here.
40:31Hey, you got to release something out of here.
40:34So I don't know what's going to happen.
40:36This is like a myth.
40:37Everybody talks about this long hallway.
40:39So this is the hallway to freedom.
40:41It's literally what it is.
40:42It's literally what it is.
40:56What's up, man?
40:57I was scared.
40:58Going through the program and me and myself being in prison
41:02helped me understand how much more important it is to be there for my brother.
41:06I feel like him being away restricted our relationship,
41:11and I'm just excited that it has no boundaries now.
41:13My expectations are just staying in a lifestyle that keeps him away from the negativity that caused him to spend so much time in prison.
41:23However, he is his own person.
41:26I just can hope that he does what's right for himself and our family.
41:30With everything, my sister, my family support, time to show that I'm changed, focused, and here.
41:39I love you, bro.
41:44Since I've been released, my family's been good.
41:47When I first got home, seeing everything moving fast, like, my anxiety had came up a lot
41:53because there was just so much to look at.
41:55After four years, you're just so used to just seeing the same thing every day.
41:59It was a lot to take in.
42:00I think it was an adjustment.
42:02He would come home and speak so loud sometimes, and I'm just saying,
42:05we're home now.
42:06Like, you can, you don't have to speak across the room.
42:09We're right here.
42:10Our relationship has improved significantly.
42:13Through the program, I think we were able to talk to each other on a level that we never really had the opportunity.
42:19So now, he's been very focused on work and family and doing the right thing.
42:24Working with my family business.
42:26It's on the floor right now.
42:28In the near future, I'm going for my CDL and obtain a job in the trucking.
42:33I'm just proud that he was able to adjust, and he's not letting his past define him.
42:40I don't know, it feels good to be free.
42:43Free!'
42:45it just feels good to be free,
42:47I don't know, it's just going to be free.
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